I’m yawning. I’m groggy. It’s very early, the sun is not up, and the house is shaking from a thunderstorm overhead. I made my way out to the coffee machine, and here we are together this morning, warm cup in my hands, trying to wake up.
When I was a child, I would sit in the garage with the door open, watching the rain and the thunderstorms. I felt safe inside, but I loved the sound of rain and storms. When I was a young adult, I used to dream of one day sitting on my porch with a tin roof, listening to the rain. Today, I’m sitting safely on that porch, watching the rain come in sheets, feeling the ground shake with the thunder, and listening to the pellets of water hitting the tin roof. Sheets of water are pouring down the hill toward the river in the gully. Yet I’m dry, safe, and happy as a clam. At least till I have to load up the car and head to the airport.
Lightning Strike
One time I went to Tennessee to see my grandfather’s sister Aunt Maxine, who lived on a farm in Armathwaite. I sat in the front room of this tiny 1800s white Victorian house, looking out over the storm. “It’s too dangerous to sit on the porch,” I was told, because the lightning could be so bad. Though I still thought I’d rather be on the porch, I changed my mind when a bolt struck the giant hickory tree I was looking at. SLAM!!!! CRACK!!! It cracked so loudly — I’ve never heard such a noise. The light flashed so brightly my eyes were burning. I could feel the heat inside the house even though it was a cool summer night. The tree was split in half and then started smoking, though I don’t think it caught on fire. It was a good lesson in the force of nature.
I was blessed with a great childhood, a great upbringing, and people who cared deeply. And I have wonderful memories, along with some moments I did not fully understand at the time.
Wear a Mental Helmet
“Be careful what you put inside your head,” my grandma used to tell me. “Once it’s there, it never goes away.” And I used to think she was wrong when she would suggest we not go to the movies, or listen to the radio to hear “the devil’s music,” because it was going to influence us. In fact, listening to that music may have played a role in pushing me to become a rock ’n’ roll DJ. I used to think what she was saying was utter nonsense, and I spent over a decade on the radio playing the hits.
Now I’m not going to rant about rock music, which I happen to love. I typically don’t rant about anything. But I have discovered that she was right about one thing … what enters your head never leaves. And with enough repetition, you might start becoming what you see or hear.
You Can’t Unsee Things
Last year at the Plein Air Convention a man asked what my daughter was studying at Baylor, and I mentioned her interest in psychology and forensics. He told me, “I did forensics at crime scenes, and I don’t recommend it. You can’t unsee the things I’ve seen, and they haunt me. They never leave you.” He said, “In that job you realize how much evil there really is. If I had my life to do over, I would not do that part. You really lose faith in mankind when you see the things I saw.”
My Love for Cowboys
I never really wanted to believe the narrative about what you put in your head, but I was really getting into the show Yellowstone. I loved it. I fantasized about being a cowboy. I bought some boots and a hat. And the more I watched it, the more I loved it. I wanted to visit the area, buy a ranch, and live the rest of my life on a horse. That is, until one day when I encountered a problem with someone, and my first instinct was to react violently. Fortunately, I caught myself before my reaction got me in trouble. And I started thinking, “That’s not me. I don’t ever react with violence.” But the more I started thinking about it, I realized that watching all the violence had played a role in my reaction. So I gave up the show cold turkey and never watched it again.
Maybe people will say that I’m weak if I’m that suggestible. I’m OK with that.
Avoiding What I Don’t Want to Become
I’ve made the realization that the negative things and the positive things we input all play a role in our subconscious mind. Though I’ll sound old school, I even realize that if I watch movies where every other word is an F-bomb, I’ll catch myself almost using such language, even though I’ve made a commitment to myself not to swear. I don’t feel the need to stay current with the culture, so if I’m watching something that is heavily f-bombing, I’ll turn it off. The same is true with things that have lots of sexual scenes. I’ll turn it off because I want to be respectful to my commitment to my family and my wife. I know, sounds very old-fashioned. Right?
What You Think About Matters
No matter what you imagine, there is a very strong likelihood your subconscious or unconscious mind could find a way to make it happen. For years I dreamed about the house with the tin roof and the big porch, and it eventually came true. I never set it as a goal, and I did not even consciously think about it when looking for a house, but I ended up with it somehow. Is there a possibility that where you see yourself is where you’ll end up? There are lots of scientific debates, and you can find people supporting both sides of the argument.
What Some Believe
According to author and speaker Vishen Lakhiani, the key to getting what you want, to controlling your outcomes, is a step-by-step process of entering a theta state (the state you’re in when you first awaken), looking upward at an imagined screen and seeing what you don’t want. For instance, seeing what you hate about your circumstances or situation. Then you switch to a middle “screen,” showing yourself taking action to find a solution, without thinking about what that solution might be. Then you switch to a screen to your far left (the position of the eyes matters, according to Lakhiani) and imagine yourself in the place or situation you want to be in, living the life. I don’t have any evidence that this is true, but I like to think it could be.
Other “experts” have also suggested imagining yourself in the situation you’d like to be in. They say that telling yourself, “I’m gonna be a millionaire,” won’t work, but telling yourself, “I am a millionaire,” will work. It’s hard to know if any of this is right.
Here’s what I do know. What I think about, what I see myself doing, tends to come true. What I pray about tends to come true. The more specific my prayer, the more effective. As a result, I’m very intentional about what I’m thinking or praying about and what I need to avoid thinking about. What about you?
What has worked for you? What have you thought about so much that it came to pass?
What negative things have you imagined that came true?
Would they come true if you had not imagined them?
Scientists know if you’re speeding down the road at 70 mph and you tell yourself, “Don’t hit that tree!” you’re much more likely to hit the tree. So they suggest you tell yourself, “Go through that opening,” rather than, “Don’t hit that tree.” You have a better chance of survival. Where you focus matters.
Is there evidence? I’d love to see more science on what really happens. Others claim there is ample evidence. I’m still skeptical. But I do have anecdotal evidence from the small circle of people I surround myself with. The negative thinkers tend to get negative results. The positive thinkers tend to get positive results.
One day I may look back and say it’s all hocus-pocus, but I don’t think so. It seems there is something to it. I don’t think it’s about luck, it’s about being deliberate. Being deliberate is a conscious decision, versus allowing things to float in and find a home. When I’m traveling to a meeting or event, I imagine a positive outcome, and things usually go as I imagine them. I often rehearse a meeting, imagining what they say and what I say, and I see things going well.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and how positives or negatives have impacted your life and your relationships.
Eric Rhoads
For a year I’ve been envisioning the largest Plein Air Convention in history. And when I board the plane today, I’m going to imagine a successful convention with a lot of very happy customers who have had their lives changed for the better. I will think through every detail and imagine a positive outcome, including how my team will perform and how the faculty will perform. Will it happen? I expect it to. I’ll let you know. The convention starts tomorrow.
Soon after the convention I’ll be hosting 100 artists for my 12th annual artists’ retreat, the Publisher’s Invitational in the Adirondacks. I’m looking forward to seeing you there. I fully expect the last few available seats to be sold.
When Covid hit and we were flooded with cancellations, we reinvented and launched virtual art conferences online. When Covid was over, it would have been easy to tell myself they would soon fail, but I envisioned them being as strong as ever and even growing. The result was positive, and these online events have continued successfully after lockdowns ended. I think the expectation matters. The next online event is in September, Pastel Live, then Realism Live in November, and Watercolor Live in January.
I truly love reading your messages. And, really love to be able to get free access to beautiful lessons.
Thank you
Thank you Eric. I love Sunday Coffee and your commentary. I have a framed print in my room that I’ve had for years. As I looked at it one day I realized the picture looked very much like the view from my patio. I’d purchased it many years before we moved into this house. I realized that I had moved several times and in different areas until my view/home resembled my print. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Thank you Eric for what you said. Don’t worry about the science to back up your thinking. I have the same believes that you do because it is happening to me. I can not prove it scientifically but I am very happy with my life. Keep doing the good work you do.
Love getting your coffee emails. I too am a positive person and I get a park every time when I say it or get green lights as well. I am too old for overseas travel now and would have loved to have gone, but I love reading about it.thanks heap I especially related to this one.
You are so right Mr. Rhoads. What we put inside our head, stays forever. I used to love watching shows like The Twilight Zone and Murder Mysteries. Of course sleep never came easy afterwards. I was too scared to close my eyes and slept with a nightlight on. I also secured every door and window. One day I decided to stop watching these shows. Success! Now I sleep well, sleep in total darkness and with my window open.
Controlling our thoughts is the key to a peaceful existence.
You should put Sunday Coffee into book form. It would be a bestseller. I certainly would buy it for gift giving for family and friends.
Heidelinde Cislip
I agree. Keeping the positives with a higher ratio count makes a difference in my quality in life. I enjoy all all your efforts in promoting and encouraging the arts. So I maybe repeating myself – Eric, thank you. I strongly believe that a consistent reinforcement to the positive is helpful, too. So with my personal experiences with others, I have found that my positive enforcement with encouragement and support that others were thankful with results that were beyond my imaginable hope.
When I was in my twenties and thirties I used to imagine that I would own a home that was like the lovely bed and breakfasts my husband and I would stay in, with charming gardens to walk through and unique architecture. It was a daydream I had often. Decades passed, and one day I was in my garden and I looked up at my house, and I realized that, without actually planning it out step by step, I had arrived at the result of all those years of daydreaming. Our house has lovely, if simple, architectural lines and a pretty flower-filled garden – just like those bed and breakfasts we stayed in all those years ago. Did I see my future, or did we create it? Hard to say. But I know there’s a connection there somewhere.
Please subscribe me.
On my walk I find beautiful leaves that have fallen. These leaves each are in different stages of their life cycle. For me their beauty brings joy. With watercolors I do a painting, not botanical illustration, rather an impression of the colors and organic markings. For me one leaf brings respect of life and gratitude for all the natural beauty on Earth.
Thank you for this letter Eric.
I totally agree with you somehow what I put in my mind subconsciously it’s starts to manifest. For a while I always wanted to restore a classic VW Beetle and before I knew it I had one on a truck heading to me in Boca Raton, FL from Arizona. Next I visited Costa Rica with the idea of one day possibly having a getaway house on a hill overlooking the ocean within walking or bike riding distance to the center of town. I decided Costa Rica was not for me. Later I visited a town on the coast of Spain and fell in love with the town. I was on a lookout point by the ocean looked back and looked at all the houses on the hill by the beach and I pointed and playing around I said to my girlfriend, one day I’m going to have a house on one of those hills. 6 months later I was signing the contract for one of those houses.
My next vision that I’m whole hartedly concentrating on and have a plan for in the next two years is becoming debt free, leaving corporate America as an IT expert, spending most of the time there creating art and coming back in the art season Fall – Spring for exhibitions, fairs, festivals etc. The vision’s current focus is developing my authentic voice.
Thanks again for the mindset boost.
Positive and thoughtful musings. It s the way to live surrounded by nature…. Art and honest science as well. Choose to be happy and honest.
I find your comments about “Yellowstone” very satisfying. For ages, I kept hearing about what a remarkable show it was. However, in order to maintain my limited budget, I don’t have streaming subscriptions. Then during the actors/writers strike, CBS began to show Yellowstone on their regular channel. I have to say, I was pretty excited but it was short lived. I couldn’t believe how much violence, misogyny, and parental/family cruelty there was being elevated and cheered. I don’t seek out these qualities (our world today supplies enough) and certainly don’t want to be entertained by it. Guess I’ll stick with watercolor tutorials and Paint School Live.
On a side note—sold my first painting from a shop to a non-friend. The shop had only been open for 2 days. Thanks for marketing Mondays.
Eric you are such a good man , honorable and of good character, certainly not old fashioned. If you are it is in a wonderful way and I wish more men in this country had your character. This was a great Sunday Coffee, I absolutely believe that what you listen to and watch has a huge impact on how you think. There are so many scriptures that reference that very thing. I also believe that what you speak and pray about will come to pass. I also believe that what you speak and how you act tells other people who you are as a man, clearly you are a man of God. Thanks for the story and the reminder, most all that I have is what I have prayed for over the years, it didn’t always come in the time I expected, but it did come, in God’s own time. My husband and I were just talking about that this week. I believe and look forward to the day I can be at one of your functions, meet you, and maybe even paint with you! I hope the Plein Aire Convention goes beautifully! You will be in my neck of the woods, it’s really beautiful!❤️
I agree with your statements about positive thinking, even though it may be hard to prove, empirically speaking. (Many things you only see in your mind’s eye). I have experienced generally positive results due to positive thinking, but also due to positive actions (of course influenced by that thinking). I do believe it is our parents or others who instill that in the beginning (perhaps it is genetic?) If you desire a particular thing, and it gnaws away long enough, and you work hard enough, you will acheive it….though, not necessarily in exactly the way you envisioned. When first married, we lived in a four-room “shack”, which I came to detest. I designed a home to be built around and over it, requiring many skills and hard labor supplied by my husband and others. We also raised our children in this not quite perfect place. We made sure they were educated and today they are successful along with their children, just now graduating from college. Education is a key always….not just academic but also life-sustaining ways of thinking….which may lead to positive thinking and the ability to discern. It is a practice.
What works for me is what James 4:13-15 says. To preface every request in your prayers with “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” If God’s in it, then it will be good. If He isn’t in it, then I don’t want it either. (Help me to recognize the difference, please Lord!!) Seeking the Lord’s assignment for me, to know it and do it, brings peace and fulfillment of His Purposes as well as my own. I’m not perfect at it, but I keep bringing my mind back around to this prescription. Old fashioned in this America where you are supposed to be self-made? Yup. But, to me, it is instead Timeless.
….oh, I also think that you cannot be thinking negatively against what God wants you to do. That’s just pointless and sad. Thinking positively, when paired with God’s Will in something IS the winning combination, I feel!! Not always easy, but worth it….to me.
Hello Eric. I like your sharing; it feels sort of like sitting on your porch together, no agenda, coffee at hand, enjoying the weather whatever it might be doing.
I, too, avoid the nastiness being endlessly offered us…as much as possible.
Your advice is similar to the apostle Paul’s in Philippians, such as: whatever things are true, just, pure, lovely, of a good report, of virtue or praiseworthy think (look and listen) on these things.
Oh yes, and Paul added a promise. Ahhhh.
The Art of Intentional Thinking by Peter Hollins is one of his several books.
In my opinion, it is worth reading if you want to learn more about this subject.
I have had this idea of things happening with positive results. This is true for me many times. It does work, Be positive! P.s. I enjoyed the convention I went to in Carmel, Ca. Thank you.
I try to start each day by reading the Bible, putting the truth of God’s word in my head, then dedicate this day to honoring God who has blessed me and kept me all these years. By seeing what truth is, lies and things that are harmful become obvious. I don’t want to be self made, I’m happy with God’s guidance in my life, and I get to paint every day. Cool!
Currently reading Peter Hollins books about thinking and mindset.
Norman Vincent Peal was also a big favorite of mine years ago and still is.
I agree about what you see and listen to having an impact on our mindset.
Enjoyed your Sunday morning coffee e-mail. Keep them coming. Thanks.
I really enjoyed your commentary this morning. Funny that my husband and I were talking about possibly moving to a home with a tin roof just last night. I’ve lived in a home with a metal roof before and I loved the sound of the rain as it hit it. I would love to go to your retreat one day. I will look for your January online watercolor class. Thank you.
Good morning Eric,
A lot of what you talked about here is now called mindset. A few years ago during my last year of teaching the school system gave every teacher a book about Mindset. Loved reading this and I too believe that our mindset can make or break us. See you in Cherokee.