The crunch of crispy leaves under my feet leads me into my cozy warm art studio, which is backed up against some massive pine trees and at the base of a small hill. The fireplace on the porch is flaming furiously, the wood sounds like snap, crackle, pop, and the scent of smoke is soothing. Yet writing on the porch had me blowing into my hands and wringing them too much to stay warm as my fingers hit my cold keyboard, so I’m here in my studio. 

Color hits this part of the country late, and this week is our peak week, just before most of the leaves flutter to the ground in high winds.

Speaking of fluttering, we all know butterflies exist, but what about angels?

Have you ever encountered random angels who drop into your life at just the perfect time? 

Drop-In Visitors

I can tell you I’ve never seen an actual angel with wings, the kind described in the Bible. But I’ve had angels drop in, serve a purpose, and go away. Have you?

I have also experienced people who fly into life, dazzle you by bringing the beauty of big smiles at a time you need them, making you laugh, being a friend, lending an ear … they flutter about to make your life better and then fly away. Maybe these butterfly-like people are also a form of angel. 

I’m convinced that we’re given what we need at the perfect time… 

An Ugly Problem

Decades ago I had a major problem with an employee who I discovered had seriously broken the law by taking a bribe in a job years before he worked for me, and, unbeknownst to me, he had been going to court to fight the charges. Then one Friday he came in and resigned, telling me he had been sentenced to three years in prison, starting the next week. Not only was I surprised and shocked, I hated to lose him because he seemed like such a nice guy and had become a key employee. Of course it had never even crossed my mind that he was a criminal.

No, Don’t Go!

“You can’t leave,” I said. “There is too much dependent on you. We’ve always talked about how if you were to leave you would give me three months notice and have time to train your replacement.”

I was dumbfounded. Worse, I was stuck, and it could have had a seriously negative impact on my business, yet I had no idea how to solve the problem. No one knew what he knew. So I went to my office, got on my knees, and asked for an answer.

A Call from an Angel

Out of the blue that very night, an old client called me, told me he was in town, and insisted we have dinner. He was only in town for the evening and needed to see me. I declined because I was not in the mood. Yet he insisted. “I wasn’t planning on calling because it’s a quick trip, but something is telling me we need to get together. I have no idea why. I was led to you for a reason. We need to do this.” He was insistent. I was curious.

At dinner I told him what I had just learned about my employee and shared my worry and stress about the problem. “That’s it,” he said. “That’s why I was led here. I know exactly what to do. I’ve had this very problem and I’ve got a perfect solution for you.” 

He then told me that I needed to FedEx a letter to the judge and insist that, by not letting the employee give me notice, he was hurting my business. I asked him to delay the employee’s incarceration for three months. It never would have crossed my mind because it was such an unusual situation, yet this man not only felt compelled to call me out of the blue, he had experienced the very problem.

Surprisingly, the judge delayed the sentence for three months, and I was able to properly transition the employee out. Though it made me nervous having a convicted felon working for me, I had time to hire and train a replacement. It was the best option.

Coincidence? Perhaps. But since then, I’ve always thought of that client as an angel.

Almost Bankrupt

For decades I struggled with my business. I went seven years without a paycheck and without a single dollar of profit. Everyone else got paid before I did. And I was on the edge of going bankrupt.

One December day, my bookkeeper told me we could not meet payroll the next Wednesday. We needed $18,756.18. But there was no money. When I was discussing it with Mike, one of our employees, he said, “Make your prayer specific to the penny,” which I did. 

Meanwhile, I was calling everyone who owed me money, trying to get enough cash in. But it was a recession, and everyone was struggling. Then, out of the blue, my phone rang. It was my client Marty at ABC Radio Networks, and he said this: “We have a little budget left over. Would it be OK if we prepaid some of next year’s advertising?” He FedExed a check that arrived the following morning, for $18,756.18. It was the exact amount we needed. Was he an angel? It sure seemed like it.

Prayer, asking the universe, manifesting things. Whatever you want to call it, it works.

Dying with No Hope

My friend author Lee Milteer proved this recently. Her friend (and my acquaintance), a very famous speaker and author, had been sent to hospice because problems with his diabetes had become very serious. He was expected to die within a couple of weeks. He was a multimillionaire with the best medical care, but they still could not help him. 

Lee posted about the situation on her Facebook page and asked everyone to manifest his wellness and to pray for his recovery. She kept reminding people for weeks, even though the situation was dire and worsening. Yet she encouraged us to keep it up and not to let it happen, believing we all had that power. 

Weeks went by, and his condition improved. And after many weeks, he came out of hospice and is healing at home, expected to fully recover. 

This is an example of the power of manifesting and prayer.

Dream Exactly

Lee once explained to me that one of the reasons many entrepreneurs succeed is because they tend to be daydreamers. That’s always been true for me. I always dream things in exact detail, and do it so much that I end up believing I can do it and believing it will happen. And things tend to happen exactly as I imagine them. I even imagine how things will go on the way to meetings, and they almost always go exactly that way. 

Crazy Talk

You may think this is just crazy talk, yet what you see in your mind is what happens. That’s why negative thinking is so dangerous. That’s why we have to be careful about what we put into our minds.

Like angels, butterflies may be manifested, or they may just show up because you need something you don’t know you need.

I’ve had people pop in and lift me up when I didn’t even realize I was down. Some bring such clarity, or energy, or passion, or laughter, or they just dazzle you for a needed moment. Others bring an important lesson, a needed answer, or a different way of looking at things. That’s why I call them butterflies — because they swoop in with beauty to make your life better for a moment.

Ever call someone out of the blue and have them tell you your timing was perfect? Or you just told them something they needed to hear? Maybe you were being a butterfly at that moment.

Where are you being called? 

If you ever feel the need to pick up the phone or pay a visit, but don’t know why … follow your gut. You may have been tapped on the shoulder to play a special role as either a butterfly or an angel. Or you may say something out of the blue and lift someone up unknowingly.

Where are butterflies and angels showing up in your life?

Where are you manifesting your needs?

Are you asking for what you need?

You don’t always get what you ask for, but you always get what you need. Especially if you listen carefully and have high expectations that your needs will be met.

How is it an invisible signal can show up through the airwaves on different frequencies to play music or news on the radio? Sometimes you can’t see things. 

How does the wind blow? You can’t see it, you can only see the effects of the wind.

Our entire world is made up of vibrations. Molecules are continually vibrating. We are vibrating, and signals are being sent. There is actual evidence. For instance, new Google research indicates that trees send signals through the ground to other trees, as do other plants. Is it really all that hard to believe that we each send out signals of needs for others to pick up?

Manifest your perfect life, and expect it. Listen for it. And always take action (a drifting boat eventually hits the rocks).

Listen for angels and butterflies and embrace their purpose. And try to be an angel or butterfly to others.

Now spread your angel or butterfly wings and get busy. The world is waiting for you.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Whew! I’ve been running nonstop since September … first with 100 people at Fall Color Week at Ghost Ranch in New Mexico, a painters’ retreat; then a smaller painters’ trip for 12 special people in Saint-Paul de Vence, France; then our annual Fine Art Connoisseur art trip in Provence and the French Riviera; then to FACE, my Figurative Art Convention in Williamsburg; then to my Radio Ink Forecast conference at the Harvard Club in New York; then to speak with an esteemed panel of station owners at the FCC. It’s exhilarating, but time for a break. 

I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving with family before the insanity begins again.

I’d like to leave you with one important thought. Your family, no matter how screwed up, is a part of who you are. After losing my mom this year, I would give up everything I own for one more Thanksgiving with her. My friend Frank just lost his 19-year-old son this week, and his Thanksgiving will never be the same. Embrace your family for who they are, forgive them for whatever they’ve done, and leave every past issue behind. Don’t engage, don’t take the bait. Use this special time to celebrate family. They won’t all be together forever, and no matter your issues, you’ll regret it when they are gone. I just had a friend tell me she was mad at her dad for 10 years and did not talk to him, and then he suddenly died. How sad. Don’t look back wishing you had healed a wound and invited someone who is currently not in your favor. Even soldiers in past wars stopped fighting for special holidays. Thanksgiving is sacred because family is sacred, no matter how imperfect we are. Put your ego aside, swallow your pride, and have a loving and memorable weekend together.

I should mention something else … Since April we’ve offered the same price for our Plein Air Convention in Colorado, but the price ends on Black Friday. We’re down to less than 200 seats for the world’s largest celebration of plein air painting, and you don’t have to be a good painter (or a painter at all) to attend. It’s a week of the world’s best painters, there to teach you. Last week someone told me they had been too intimidated to come and missed several years, only to find there was no reason to be afraid. Maybe if you’re interested in exploring this fun and challenging lifestyle called plein air painting, you should consider it. We usually sell about 300 seats before the first price increase, but again, we have fewer than 200 seats left.

Streaks of yellow light are streaming toward me through thick purple fog and silhouetted gnarly oak trees. I shiver as I try to extend my porch time once more before winter. Warmth hits my goosebumped skin as the light increases, and the sides of my old cabin are washed with a rich red-orange glow. 

Stage Exhaustion

Last week exhausted me — being on stage, using my voice more in one day than in most months, giving and getting hugs from enthusiastic artists, wall-to-wall meetings between stage time, entertaining our VIP guests and faculty in the evenings till the wee hours. And exhausting as it was, I feel like the luckiest man alive to be able to serve others and give them a special week of high energy, learning from the best artists in the world, and time with old and new friends.

Joy and Exuberance

A recent realization has been that my art is bringing people together, and even if I have to put my ability to do paintings on hold so I have time to do things like last week’s Figurative Art Convention & Expo, it’s worth it to see the joy and exuberance in the faces at FACE. Dozens, probably hundreds, told me it was a life-changing experience, the best of anything they had attended, and that they got more than they expected. I feel like I’ve done my job.

True Purpose

Comparing notes with a friend recently, we both determined that life is better when we’re changing the lives of others. Though it used to be about the money for me, it’s now about the gold … the golden glow in people’s hearts when they experience change, when they have a revelation or an aha moment. I live for those moments, and that encourages me to find ways to give more.

Digging Deeper

And for every convention session, panel, demo, or other event people could attend, there were that many and more personal interactions where I felt I was able to coach and counsel people who had lost their way, who needed someone to point out what they could not see, to offer clarity where they had none. The two things they all had in common were self-doubt and being too hard on themselves.

Life on Override

Beating ourselves up, negative self-talk, and insecurity are the games we play in our own heads. I play them all the time, even though I was raised in a positive environment. It’s a self-preservation mechanism rooted in our reptilian brain. It’s natural for the mind to protect us, and it’s unnatural for us to override its protection. Yet overriding is the only way to escape those voices and build an awesome life.

What do the voices in your head say to you?

I wanted to understand what mine were saying, but most of the voices tend to be at an unconscious level. So I made a point of writing them down every time I noticed one. I knew I had head trash, but no idea just how much.

Then I took the list and asked myself, “Is this true?” and, “If it is true, can I change it? How?” I also asked myself, “What would be a better thought I can substitute?”

Have you ever had something come out of your mouth and you didn’t even know how or why? I also started writing down my automatic responses to others. 

The Monsters Are Hurting You

Those are the monsters lurking inside your subconscious mind, and they are blurted out, as though they were natural responses to protect you. But instead of protecting you, they are hurting and limiting you and others.

If you do both of these exercises for a week, you’ll learn more about yourself in that week than you’ve learned most of your lifetime. Just pull up a notes app on your smartphone and write down every negative thought whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying them. It’s almost better than therapy.

Mama Calling

Ever hear someone say, “I find myself sounding like my mother when dealing with my own kids, even though I swore I would never say those things”? That’s the instinctive monster inside, most of which was implanted generations earlier and passed along.

You get to be the lucky one. You can break the cycle.

The weak never break their chains — the strong break them. It starts by telling yourself you can overcome any possible obstacle, no matter how difficult, and that the ability to overcome anything lies in your head.

Are You Tired Yet?

The other good news is that the weak can become strong. All it takes is getting sick of the results you’re getting now and being determined to overcome the voices in your head.

Fantasy World

We all tell ourselves stories and lies. We all live a certain percentage of our lives in a fantasy world. Those lies cause the drama in our lives, our families, our friendships, and in our own heads, preventing the best possible life from happening.

“Oh, Eric, I don’t deserve the best possible life,” you say? That’s the first monster to slay. Of course you deserve it. Why wouldn’t you? (More monsters will come out about now.)

Slay the dragons in your mind, and you’ll live the life of a true dragon slayer.

Start today.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Words simply cannot express the gratitude I have for the people of the FACE convention. We had a faculty filled with generosity to serve others, attendees who were on fire with enthusiasm and energy, and I feel like the most hugged man on earth (one of the perks of my job, I guess). Thank you for allowing me to serve. Well over half the people attending signed up for next year, which is unheard of this early for a convention. We are very excited about seeing you in Baltimore next fall.

Tomorrow I’m off to a week in New York for our annual Radio Forecast conference at the Harvard Club, and then to Washington, D.C., where I’ve been invited to offer my opinions to the commissioners at the Federal Communications Commission. If we don’t talk, have a wonderful Thanksgiving — though I fully intend to report next weekend before the holiday. And if you have a chance, invite someone to Thanksgiving who needs a family to spend the day with. No one should be alone if they don’t want to be. It’s something my parents did every year on Thanksgiving and something we try to do.

Oh, and if you encounter someone who needs a jolt of Sunday Coffee, pass it on.

Flickering, crackling, and the soft smell of burning wood come from the old fireplace, tucked away in a tiny sitting room at the hotel here in Williamsburg, Virginia. The decor is Early American — pineapple-patterned wallpaper, old brown furniture, and portraits of presidents.

It’s quiet here, most guests are not yet awake, and no one has discovered this little reading nook. I hear the occasional distant ding from the service bell at the front desk, done to call the bellman like in the old days.

Going Back in Time

My morning walk brought me back to another time, a different era. This old town made up of original buildings from the Revolutionary War era is tightly closed up, but later will bustle with tourists and kids who will march alongside the red-coated soldiers. Later will be the smell of baking bread from the bakery, whose old brick oven uses real fire. The candy maker will be handing out samples, and you can go into the tin shop to see cups being made, or the print shop as they make reproductions of old Revolutionary War posters one sheet at a time, with moveable type. It’s truly a place every family should experience at least once. I came here as a kid, then once as an early married couple, and now, for my Figurative Art Convention & Expo (FACE), which starts today.

A Rockefeller Vision

Last week I mentioned that I was grateful for the wealthy who built great homes and art collections that because museums. Today I’m thankful for John D. Rockefeller, who had the vision to create Colonial Williamsburg by buying up houses in different villages and moving them here to create a living museum. Today we’ll do a plein air paint-out (outdoor painting) in the streets with costumed models before the official start of the convention at four.

The Last Year at Home

Living a life of travel has its benefits, but few things will drag me away from home next year; it is our last season with the triplets, who go off to college in the fall. Life will change for them, and for us. Though I’ll need to keep working to pay the college bills, I’d be working anyway because I love what I do. But I’ll miss feeding the kids each morning, chatting with them randomly on the couch, eating dinner together — even now a rare occasion since everyone is off to jobs and friends. Soon it will be time to reinvent, to ready ourselves for this new chapter.

The Storms of Life

Life is like a series of storms. A hurricane comes in slowly, with ample notice to get ready and get out, but a tornado comes with no notice. It just shows up. We’ve known college was coming since the kids were born, preparing little by little by setting money aside, yet like most, we don’t do all the prep we should until we get closer and closer to the event. I consider knowing in advance and being able to prepare a gift.

Storms, tornadoes, or other sudden, uncontrollable events also happen. Or, as is the case now, fires that sneak up and force you out, if you’re lucky enough to get out. It’s then we have to rebuild, often from scratch. I’ve been closer to this than I want to because of friends who are suffering through fires and losing everything, and friends who lost everything last year and the year before.

The Power of Reinvention

When storms come, we have to reinvent. One friend had enough of the fires and decided not to rebuild, but to move here to Texas (we have plenty of room, and y’all are welcome here). Another stayed in California but moved to a different community and started a life as an art gallery owner. 

Being Happier than Ever

If you live long enough and get out a lot, you start knowing people afflicted by all kinds of disasters, and almost everyone has told me that their disaster was the best thing that ever happened to them, though it was horrific at the time. Disaster or tragedy force reinvention. Most are happier and have told me that they had things in the back of their minds that they wanted to do, but never got around to doing them because of the ties or strings they had.

For your sake (and mine) I hope YOU don’t have to face storms, fire, or a tragedy that forces you to reinvention. But I do hope that if you feel the need to reinvent, you don’t wait for a disaster.

What Do You Dream?

Do you have things in the back of your mind you always wished you had done? Places you always wished you had tried living? Careers you would like to switch to?

Don’t wait for a storm.

Roving Gypsies

Laurie and I have a sense of adventure. We find it exhilarating to make new friends and try new places. Since we’ve been married we’ve moved several times to new communities. We’ve lived in Florida, the Bay Area of California in two different homes, and here in Austin in two different homes. And we’re excited about the prospect of living somewhere new once the kids are in college, or soon after if the kids stay in Texas. Though it’s hard to leave friends, we can always visit them (some we see only a couple of times a year anyway because we’re all so busy). 

The prospect of reinvention is exciting. Laurie’s big dream is to get an RV and go around to visit people we know or work with. Visiting clients and art shows. She can drive, and I can work in the back. Sounds fun to me.

I’d like to try living in Italy or Spain or France (or all three). And I think it would be fun to do the RV thing there. And I want to build a dream art studio somewhere.

Aligning Your Dreams

One thing that’s important is to get in alignment. It would not be fair for one of us to pull rank and force the other along on a dream they don’t share. Why not sit down with a sheet of paper with three columns, “My Dreams, “Your Dreams,” and “Shared Dreams.” Then you’ve communicated and can pick the shared dreams you want to pursue.

Out of Alignment

Laurie and I loved living in Northern California. One day we decided to put our dream house up for sale because we felt obligated to move back East to be with aging parents. One day one of us said, “I really love it here. I don’t want to move.” Then the other said, “I thought you wanted to move so I was going along with it. I don’t want to move either.” So we took our house off the market and stayed a few more years.

How about today you have a reinvention discussion? Ask yourself some questions. Ask your spouse or partner some questions.

What have we always wanted to do but never done?

Where have we always wanted to live but never tried?

What dreams do you have, what dreams do I have, and which do we share?

Now, when you get to the point of practicality, shove it to the side. “Yeah, but we can’t afford that dream” is a common thing that gets in the way.

Dreams Overcome Roadblocks

I’ve found that if you have big, audacious, out-of-the-world dreams, things you both want so badly, you might be willing to sacrifice an old dream that is anchoring you. For instance, if the dream is to go live in Italy, ask what’s holding you back?

Maybe it’s the house. But if the dream is so big, sell the house.

Obligation is another dream killer. “Yeah, but we have to stay and take care of Mom.” It’s the right thing to do, but have you talked to Mom about it, or your siblings? I have friends who felt they were stuck but found out a sister was dreaming of moving back and living with Mom to take care of her. So they left to pursue their dream and visited on occasion. If you can’t overcome roadblocks, you can at least build the dream, craft a plan, and pull the trigger on the dream the second the roadblock moves.

You’ll find that if a dream has enough power, you can usually find a solution.

Which person do you want to be? 

Do you want to be the person who looks back and says, “I wish I had done the things I wanted to do?”

A Final Dream

This last October when people registered for my Fall Color Week painting adventure, there was a framed photo of a beautiful lady at the registration desk, and at our announcements all week. For privacy I won’t mention her name, but she had been to every Fall Color Week since we stated it five years ago. But after our trip to Canada last year, she died unexpectedly at a fairly young age. She once told me it was her dream to attend that event, and once she went, she looked forward to coming back every year because of the friendships. What if she had kept putting it off till the time was right? At least she lived before she died.

Are you living your dreams?

Don’t wait till a storm … or worse, the point when you can’t get out of a hospital bed. If you can walk, if you can breathe, even if you can be pushed in a wheelchair, even though it might be hard, you have dreams you need to live. We both know someday will never come unless you take action.

For most of us…

There is never enough time.

There is never enough money.

There is always something getting in the way.

There will never be perfect conditions.

You can plan it, or you can wait till you’re forced into a plan. And that plan may not include any of your dreams.

Do it now.

Eric Rhoads

PS: When we’re done here at FACE this week I’ll announce where we’re going next year and some of the rock star artists who will be coming. If you could not make it, go to the website to see who we’ve announced and book for next year (there is a 12-payment plan).

Next week I fly to New York for my annual Radio Ink Forecast event, which is held at the Harvard Club. It does not get much more elegant than that. After our day of sessions, we hold our annual “40 Most Powerful People in Radio” reception with all the high rollers in radio. I get to play host and see lots of my friends. It’s a lot of fun for me.

Then, the following morning I take a 5 a.m train to Washington, DC. I’ve been honored with an invitation to speak before the commissioners of the Federal Communications Commission to share my thoughts (along with a few other broadcasters) on what they should or should not do with regulation for radio. Though I’m trying to be cool … I’m pretty excited.

Then things settle … no more trips. We’ll get to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas and reconnect. It could be our last Christmas together if the kids fall in love in college and go to someone else’s house. We have to make it special this year.

Need a great Christmas or Hanukkah gift?

The Plein Air Convention for your favorite painter, or next year’s FACE event, or Fall Color Week for next fall when we go to the White Mountains of New Hampshire (the color is on fire), or the 10-year anniversary reunion (for new and old) of my annual Publisher’s Invitational in the Adirondacks. And because next year I’ll not have to be away from home as much, I’m working on a couple of new surprises.

Eric Rhoads

PS: There is someone in your life who needs to hear this message. I’d be honored if you would pass this on so we can give them the encouragement they need, and maybe they will become a subscriber (free) and pass it to others.

This week I’m as excited as a schoolboy. A week from today my Figurative Art Convention & Expo (FACE) begins in Williamsburg, Virginia. We’ve got some of the top artists in the world on our stage teaching their techniques. It’s open to beginners and pros, and we might have some seats left (people often wait till the last minute), but, if so, probably not more than a couple. If you want to experience this art thing of painting people and portraits, this is one of the best things you could do for yourself. I’d love to meet you. Quite a few Sunday Coffee readers have registered, never having painted before. I think that is very brave and cool. FACE is being held November 10-13; more information here. 

If you want to be in the cast for the TV show, the producers are casting it now. You can learn about that at www.TheGreatOutdoorPaintingChallenge.com.

If you would like to give a tax-deductible donation or be a sponsor, or if you want to become an executive producer with a mega donation, please drop me a note at ([email protected]).

If you want to hear what’s happening in radio, we are gathering the biggest names in radio together at the Harvard Club on November 20, and then we have a giant, elegant party in Harvard Hall afterward. You can learn more about that at www.radioinkforecast.com.

Then … things will calm down for a while and we can all enjoy the holidays.