Fog and mist fill the bright, colorless morning sky and soften the edges of treetops in the distance. Softness in the air even covers the trunks of gnarled and twisted scrub oaks. The weeds and grass are glistening with water droplets, and the long deck that runs the length of the house is wet where the roof offers no cover. The red Adirondack chairs placed in a circle around the fire pit are reflecting the light from above and are glowing. As I let the dogs out this morning, they sniff in circles, tracking bustling creatures from last night.

It’s Cozy Time

Sometimes a cozy morning like this calls for a couch, a blanket, the sounds of silence, and a good book. I begin my morning routine before I dip my fingers into the cesspool of social media. A daily chapter of the old family Bible has proven to offer perspective and to impact every daily decision. Almost every day it feels like it was written just for me, addressing today’s specific issues or concerns. It eliminates my fears and anxiety and gives me wisdom.

Long Days

The past five days were 12-hour work days away from my office, prepping and hosting our annual online watercolor conference out of our Austin soundstage. It’s a massive effort involving about 30 people on my team and a full year of preparation. It’s like planning a four-day live tV show like the old Jerry Lewis telethon, combined with a four-day wedding with thousands of guests from 31 countries. I’m so proud of my team and their incredible sensitivity to our guests’ needs.

Feeling Pretty Awesome

Though I am a little worn out, I’m not exhausted — instead, I’m exhilarated. I had the pleasure of serving people who relied on us to deliver art instruction at a high level for a total of 24 hours over four days. And from what I can tell, we delivered, because the majority are returning next year.

Oh God, Please…

My prayer each night after the event? “Lord, with all this attention and praise, keep me humble and not prideful. Help me to serve these people with true humility.” Because I get more attention and feedback at my events than at any other time, and I don’t want it to go to my head. I don’t want to ever start thinking I’m special or better in any way. Having experienced an ego-driven life in my radio days, I know how seductive it can be, and how dangerous it is to lose a sense of reality.

The World’s Greatest Gig

Like a cat, I’ve lived multiple lives and careers, and none ever felt like the perfect fit till I landed here, starting art magazines, teaching and inspiring artists, and focusing on transforming lives. It took me decades to discover it’s not about me, it’s not about wealth, and that a great life is about giving and serving. 

The Cure for Depression
You can’t be depressed or think about yourself when you are a servant helping others. The world has it backwards; it’s not about getting rich so others will serve you, it’s about serving others to help them live rich lives. I don’t have most of the cool stuff I once owned because I got tired of it, or its life was over. But I never forget the people who served me decades ago.

Success Redefined

When people are giving you praise for pulling them up, encouraging them, inspiring them, teaching them so they can lift themselves up, you have reached true success, especially if you don’t take their praise as if you’re something special. When they look at you with tear-filled eyes, knowing you gave them the launch they could not see how to give themselves, you’ve reached the pinnacle. Then you can live life wearing a confident smile with a twinkle in your eye. Enjoy the moment, don’t get prideful, and move on to help others in some way. 

Giving Back

This isn’t about feeding the needy, though that is necessary and important, and we should all do what we can. It’s about turning what you do into a serving and giving machine.

It’s not even about giving everything away, which isn’t usually practical or possible. You deserve a handsome living from your toil. But life is about taking what you do every day, being the best at it, and focusing on the needs of those who need to be served, whether you are teaching school, working in a plant, driving an Uber, working on heating systems, being a student or running a business. 

It’s about delighting others at a higher level and never making it about you. And when this occurs, rewards always follow. 

A Word of Caution

Biblical stories talk about the benefits that come back to you for tithing and giving of your time. But they also talk about doing your good works in private, about not letting one hand know what the other is doing. Though I don’t want to be critical of anyone doing good works, I get turned off when ads tell me a company is giving some percentage of its profits to some charity. The only reason to tell people about it is to look good or to get them to buy more. Why not just do it quietly? 

For a brief moment I was public about what we do with the profits of our company, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed the only reason to tell people about it was to look good to others. I decided that doing so no longer works for me. I tell our employees, because they need to know where our profits go, but we are no longer public about our giving. Being quiet keeps intent pure. If you are only giving to increase your rewards, people see through it and you’ll appear insincere.

Yesterday a friend was telling me about a company that wants to work with him, and he said, “They pretend to care about me, but really, they only care about money. Life is too short to deal with people like that.” Don’t get me wrong, I also care about making a fair living and being able to provide for my family and their future. But I don’t do what I do for that reason. I strive to do what I do because it’s what I can do well for others.

When everything you do is all about making as much money as you can, shortcuts follow, service gets reduced, quality diminishes, and people get hurt. 

The magic of having a servant’s heart is that your joy no longer comes from things, it comes from service to others.

Where are you serving others? 

Where are you finding your joy?

Is what you are doing truly satisfying?

Are you making a difference in the lives of others?

Are you pretending to care, or do you really care?
Would you still do it even if you could not make another dime?

What do you think about most?

I struggled for years, working crazy hours, trying to build something that was about me, and about money. But when I flipped that, everything changed. My acquaintance Dave Ramsey (radio and tV financial host) once told me that the minute you focus on service, everything changes. I fought it. But once I finally flipped the switch, my life changed, my success changed, my interest in serving changed. 

Seek to serve. Others need what you have to offer.

Eric Rhoads

PS: This may sound strange but sometimes selling is serving. If you have something people need that will truly make their life better but that they are resisting, they will benefit from your passion to sell them something you know will help. I sometimes promote heavily and sell hard, because I hear the stories about the things we’re doing that change lives and change the direction of people’s lives — things that build confidence, things that can build careers. For instance, I know that if I push an artist to buy my marketing book, it will help them if they take the action I suggest. If they don’t, they may struggle for decades, as most do. 

 A woman attending our Watercolor Online conference this week told me that she was reluctant to sign up because she did not think she deserved it. Because she encountered something that convinced her, she told me it was 10 times better than she expected and it was just what she needed to put her on the right track. If I didn’t push, she and thousands of others might have missed out.

I have lots of artists who read this. Your art can change lives. You can cheer people up, or place them in a certain state of mind when your work hangs in their home. My friend Charles H. White tells me the story of a cancer patient who bought his painting to transport her to a better place while recovering from chemo. She said she stared at his painting every day, and it got her through her pain. What if he had not bothered to do the work and show up at an art show where she discovered that painting? What if he had not helped her make the decision to spend a little extra to get something of quality? His painting changed her life. Your paintings can change lives too, but if you lay back and hope someone buys something, others are missing out on what you have to offer. 

Our next event is coming up in March. It’s called PleinAir Live, and it’s about teaching landscape painting online, with top landscape artists teaching. My life changed when I started going outdoors to paint, spending time in nature, and making lots of new friends. It made me a better painter — but it would never have happened had I not been motivated by someone who nudged me. I hope you’ll join us. (www.pleinairlive.com)

Note about my team: I realized something really important this week. You can’t do it alone. You need help. You need a good team. If your team is failing you, it’s not their fault, it’s your fault. You picked them, and if they’re not working out, it means you didn’t train, encourage, and nurture them. I feel like the luckiest man alive because my team at Streamline is beyond amazing. We hire slowly and carefully and work to get a cultural match in our team members, and then we get glowing reviews from the way they serve others. They truly have the spirit of serving, and they do it with grace, with love, joyfully and with excellence. In moments like this, when they have worked a year or more on planning and a couple of solid weeks on execution, including 12-hour days, long nights, and weekends, I realize just how blessed I am to have them. 

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Little leaves on tiny stems sparkle like jewels as the brilliant morning light makes streaks in the sky, kissing the trees and illuminating their rough bark with a reddish orange glow. Lavenders, purples, and light blues fill the long shadows as they stretch like rubber bands pulled as far as they can go, all pointing out from the sun, inspiring what could be a painting from where I sit on the long wooden Texas porch. Feeders for the birds sway in unison, to and fro, as a light breeze tickles the leaves, and squirrels jump from branch to branch trying to get to the feeders like thieves scrambling to get into a bank vault of treasure. 

Here I’ve sat through hundreds of sunrises like a moviegoer, each screen with its own plot and colorful action. My hand rapidly scribbles thoughts or images into my sketchbook, which is my closest companion, always close by when I need a friend.

A Lifetime of Journals 

Opening the cabinet, I see them standing side by side like little soldiers, numbered and stored for years. I can return to any of the last dozen years, pick a date, and page through these journals for my notes. Unlikely to be a family heirloom when I’m gone, they contain the content of my days, my thoughts, notes from my meetings, and things I hope to remember, pages by the thousands. When I pick any random day from the past, the pages filled with stressful moments, the days I thought my world was over and things couldn’t possibly get worse, seem unusually emotional and over-reactive — things weren’t so bad after all. These moments were overblown, and they are no longer emotionally charged. Endless hours of worry, frantic meetings to solve world-ending problems, once placed in distant perspective, have lost their power over me.

Explosion Prevented

Just last week I was seething with anger and disproportionately charged over an incident with a couple of foolish errors that could have had a massive negative impact on our ability to pay our bills. All because someone didn’t measure twice and cut once, setting off a chain of events that uncovered other errors. All would never have been revealed had it not been for a caring customer who brought it to my attention with a midnight text, while other customers remained silent and simply moved on to something or someone else.

Hidden Gems

The mistake that made me want to react so negatively turned out to be a gift, because had it not been discovered, its impact would have been far-reaching and potentially very damaging. My first reaction was to throw blame, but after a lot of digging into it, my more measured response was to solve the problem and realize no one did anything wrong with bad intentions. They just needed to learn how to prevent the mistake in the future.

Unexpected Growth 

Not only were there lessons for me, there were lessons for those around me. My son, sitting beside me on the couch, right before a deadline, saw me snap into massive action, making calls, sending e-mails and texts to solve the problem before it became a deeper problem, showing that sometimes you can’t wait for morning. Though I’d rather have gone to bed and not stayed up half the night, there are times when you have to do what’s necessary.

Teaching Lessons 

It was also a chance to say … I’m angry, and my first reaction is to blame people and get rid of them. But it’s important to take a breath, put things in perspective, and realize we need to focus on solutions, not problems. 

No one died. No one got a call from their doctor announcing a threatening disease. There are bad days, but problem-solving is what we get paid to do.

Reaction is a natural force, anger follows, but time puts things into perspective. The more time passes, the better. 

Massive action may be needed to rectify a problem fast, but yelling, blaming, firing only makes everything worse. 

Growth is the gift of pain.

Past Mistakes 

Reading my journals, hundreds of moments would reveal times when I was less mature, when I’d hit the send button in anger and disrupt things and make them worse, like a bowling ball knocking down pins. Times when my ego was bruised and I felt the need to be right, not bothering to seek the other side of the story or to understand what someone might be going through that prompted their action. 

I once had an employee go off on everyone in a meeting, screaming and yelling unnecessarily. I excused myself, asked him into his office, and terminated him immediately because that behavior isn’t acceptable and it was his third strike. Little did I know — I found out months later — that there were things he was dealing with that prompted his anger, bad news of a life-threatening diagnosis. Though there’s never a good reason for bad behavior, there are reasons. Had I been more mature, maybe I would have called him into the office, told him his behavior was unacceptable, and said, “Take the rest of the day off, and we’ll chat tomorrow.” Maybe then I’d have bothered to ask what was going on. 

Explosive reactions are sometimes understandable, but they’re not helpful. Deep breath, plus time, is almost always a better answer. 

Words cut like knives and last for lives. They can’t be taken back. 

Past explosive reactions have created bigger problems for myself. So now I try to keep my mouth shut and don’t hit the send button in anger. 

Time Heals 

Two days after the big problem, things looked different. My instinct to shout would only have made things worse. Plus, it promoted new systems to prevent future problems and provided training moments, and that makes us stronger. 

When anger hits, don’t seek revenge, don’t default to harsh words or screaming. Take a deep breath, seek perspective, and when the time is right, seek understanding. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: This week was one big meeting, all day every day … I had two days with my board, which is a hard but necessary opportunity to gain the perspective and advice of others. Then two days with a couple of team members for planning and much-needed perspective, and then a day of normal meetings.

This week will be a couple of days of rehearsal and last-minute adjustments, then four days of my online training event Watercolor Live, which has a massive audience of people who want to grow as painters by watching the advice of top master artists, along with people who have decided they want to learn. There is still time for you. And if you can’t make the dates, replays are an option. www.watercolorlive.com.

There is no better feeling than walking outside in my fuzzy flannel PJs, feeling the texture of the wooden porch on my bare feet and not having the hair stand up on my arms from cold weather.  I squint my eyes in the brilliant orange light coming up from the purple mountain range in the distance, with pastel-like purples and greens in the sky. It’s a perfect morning.

An Unexpected Problem

When I was a kid, my dad bought his first really nice car. It was a celery-colored Lincoln Continental. My friends used to call it the Queen Mary because it was like a boat. My grandparents were upset when my dad bought it because, as they said, “We’re not showy people.” In our little town, it was the most expensive car you could buy — we certainly did not know about Mercedes or Rolls or Bentley. 

A Moment of Shame

I was in about seventh grade, and one day my mom dropped me off at Harrison Hill Elementary. She was driving the Lincoln, and when I got out of the car all the kids started mocking me. “Spoiled rich kid,” they would call me. I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. 

From that point forward, they treated me differently. I was already bullied because I was the school fat kid, and now I was double bullied because I was fat and rich. I became very lonely and literally developed ulcers over it. 

Not Much Different, Really

In reality, we were pretty much like everyone else. We lived in the same neighborhood as most of the other kids. Our houses were all about the same. In fact, our house was a lot smaller than most. But that car somehow sent the wrong signal. 

When Success Hurts

My dad was proud of reaching this moment of success because of his hard work on his company. He grew up dirt poor, and the Lincoln was probably a signal that he

had made something of himself. It was more about feeling good than trying to pretend to be better than others. But the car changed things with our neighbors, and even my mom’s friends, because suddenly we were different. Though I did not realize it at the time, my dad was perceived as flaunting his success.

After that day at school, I did not want to be seen in that Lincoln. In fact, when my mom would drop me at school, I had her drop me off a block away to avoid being seen. 

Finding Deep Meaning

I had not thought about that car and the incident with my “friends” for decades. But I was in a class recently where we talked about our limiting beliefs. What I discovered is that most of us operate our lives through the filters of our childhood and the things that happened to us before we were 10.

And because we’re not experts at solving problems at that age, we solve them in the ways we know how, which are usually about avoiding pain.

During the event we were given an exercise to tap into our subconscious minds to try to discover our limiting beliefs, the things holding us back. 

Wanna guess what one of mine was?

Here’s a clue. It had to do with that darned Lincoln.

The Lincoln represented wealth, and being seen in it represented not being accepted by my friends. 

I discovered that too much success made me uncomfortable because I did not want to lose friends. So throughout my life, I would hit a ceiling and never get beyond it.

I found out that I was subconsciously sabotaging my own success because I do not want to be mocked or bullied. A childhood need to be liked and accepted was still impacting my behavior as an adult.

Not only was I unconsciously limiting my own success, I was apologetic for the success I had. 

Apologizing for Success

If someone would compliment me on my home, I’d tell the story of how we got a good deal on it. Why? I did not want to be different or not accepted. Yet I did not even realize I was doing it.

Though I wanted to buy a nice car, I resisted and drove the same small, crummy car for 15 years. Finally, I bought a car, but I’d keep it in the garage so my friends wouldn’t see it. And if they did see it, I made a point to tell them that I bought it used and got a great deal.

I was operating on my fearful 10-year-old brain, which was telling me to avoid success so I would be loved and appreciated.

How silly is that?

Lots of Life Wasted

I spent several decades of my life living with limiting beliefs I didn’t know I had, and only discovered them through an exercise to ask my subconscious brain what was holding me back. I knew I had a problem. I did not know the cause.

I’m sure I have other limiting beliefs that hold me back in other ways. Now I need to do more exercises with my subconscious to find out why I have nagging feelings about things.

Yes, You ARE Worthy

Our limiting beliefs are thoughts or ideas that limit our potential, holding us back. We tell ourselves things like, “I can’t do that,” “I don’t deserve that,’ “People from our background don’t do this,”  “I’m not worthy,” etc.

These beliefs are rooted in past experiences and societal influences, and are often so deeply ingrained in our subconscious mind that they impact our behavior. These beliefs are like being tied up, keeping us from our full potential. 

Make It Stop

Empowering beliefs are, of course, the opposite of limitations. But sometimes positive affirmations and positive thinking aren’t enough. I’ve done those things my whole life. And they do work. But in this case, I have to find out about my limiting belief and realize how it’s impacting my behavior. Once I’ve done this, the limiting belief will stop.

I’m told that the chains will lift more and more as days pass, but I’ve already noticed I’m doing things in some situations that I wouldn’t do before because I did not feel worthy.

Whew, this is deep stuff. Deep inside our brains.

Do you have limiting beliefs?

I’m told everyone does, and that most are not aware of them. 

It turns out that questions to your subconscious provide breakthroughs. 

Instead of “Why am I afraid to fly?” I should be asking myself, “If there was a reason I’m afraid to fly, what would it be? And how is it hurting me?” (This is a key part of tapping the subconscious.)

Failed Dreams 

My dear aunt spent her whole life wanting to go to her grandparents’ home country of Ireland. By the time she died, she’d never achieved that dream, because she was afraid to fly. She knew she was afraid and told me, but she never understood what was causing her to be afraid. It was probably related to something that happened when she was a kid. No matter how much we tried to reason with her about safety, logic could not overcome her fears.

In what ways are your beliefs stopping you from living your dreams, reaching your full potential?

It’s never too late. 

Everything in your life is filtered through your unique pair of glasses. Every choice, action, and even every buying decision. You and I do things not knowing why. 

Why does one person, like my dad, need to buy a giant expensive car?

Why do some people not want to be around certain personality types?

Why do we avoid certain things?

The reasons are deep inside your head, and the answers will come to you, once you start asking for them.

Eric Rhoads

PS: When I was almost 40 I came to the conclusion that it would be fun to learn to paint. I tried several times and failed, and ended up telling myself I did not have what it takes. I told myself that some people are born with the gift, but I wasn’t one of them. Thankfully, one man helped me see that none of that was true, and that by following a system, I — or anyone — could become proficient. 

For at least the past 20 years I’ve devoted my life to overcoming the myth that there is an artistic “gift,” and I believe we have probably taught over a million people to paint. When I tell myself I need to reach 10 million, my limiting beliefs kick in and I hear a little voice say, “Eh, not possible.” But when this happens, if you listen to what that little voice is saying, and ask yourself why it’s being said, you might tie it back to your subconscious mind. Then you can ask for answers … if I knew the answer, what would it be?

If you’re like I was, and you want to learn painting but don’t feel worthy, I give you my 100% money back guarantee that I can teach you to paint through my event this month. It’s called Watercolor Live, and if you attend the first day and don’t feel like you’re getting it, or learning, or overcoming those negative thoughts, just ask and you get your money back.

And if you want to hear about the two big lies that are holding you back, watch the brand new video I posted at www.watercolorlive.com.