Warm sunshine peeked through a slot in the closed blinds of the bedroom, aiming right for my face as if to tell me it’s time to wake. Covers quickly went over my head, yet the sun had done its job and I could sleep no more. So I meandered to the coffee pot, then made my way to the pollen-covered porch to enjoy the perfect spring morning.
My mind has been traveling through some paths I’ve not visited for years as part of the grieving process over the passing of my mom last week. A memory of a special time when we grabbed my mom for a road trip from Florida to Indiana, the purpose of which I can’t remember.
How Far Are We?
Driving through Tennessee, a spurt of spontaneity turned into the most meaningful hours of summer ’98 for me and Laurie, then pre-kids. “Aren’t we close to Knoxville?” I said as she studied the map (remember maps?) from the passenger seat. “Check to see how far out of the way it would take us to visit Jamestown.” She looked at me with that, “Oh, no, here we go again” look, but then told me it would not be too far out of the way at all. That’s why I love her! Though we had a destination, a time constraint, and my mom traveling with us and asleep in the back seat, Laurie said, “It wouldn’t be much out of the way at all.”
Mom’s ailing aunt and uncle lived near Knoxville, and Mom hadn’t seen them for several years … and might never see them again. Wouldn’t this be a nice surprise for her? By the time Mom woke up, we were in Jamestown, Tennessee. Mom was tickled.
The Smell of Biscuits
The next morning, the promised of a home-cooked country breakfast woke us early. Biscuits beckoned … and do they ever know how to cook biscuits in Tennessee! We burred like bees down the hilly country roads at Armathwaite, passing chicken coops built by distant cousins and homes built by other ancestors generations earlier. We passed the Mount Helen Church, built by my great-grandpa Sam Garrett, and the cemetery nearby where he rests today. Then it was down along the Honey Creek Loop to Uncle Clifford’s farm, a farm that has been in the family for at least five generations. In fact, I just learned that my grandfather had given this farm to his cousin — Uncle Clifford.
Going Back in Time
Driving toward the farm was like going back in time, and I was getting younger with every mile. This was the place where I spent my summers tending chickens, and playing in the tall corn or the waterfall nearby. When we pulled up in front of the house, the smell of breakfast made the daydream inescapable — I was 10 years old again.
I had heard that Uncle Clifford and Aunt Ruth were doing well, and when we arrived they didn’t look any different … except that they needed some assistance getting around. We did what all families do — eat and talk. I asked Uncle Clifford about family legends I had heard as a kid, and although they weren’t quite the same as I had remembered them, it was fun hearing from the eldest family patriarch. Now it’s my turn to be “The Keeper of the Legends” for a future generation. I only hope my biscuits are as good.
Holding Back Tears
Time passed, and commitments called. We had to say goodbye … always hard when you know it may be the last time. Tears were shed, hugs were exchanged, glances were loving. We drove back over that winding, family-filled road, knowing we may never drive this way again. Everyone in the car was silent as we replayed the precious moments of our visit with Clifford and Ruth and committed those moments forever to memory. Mile after mile, as we got farther from the farm, I felt my years return. By the time we reached the Interstate, I was just another middle-aged guy, with a tear in the corner of each eye.
We almost didn’t make the detour to see Uncle Clifford and Aunt Ruth. It was a major inconvenience, put us a full day behind schedule, and wasn’t in the plan. But the little voice that whispered us toward Armathwaite made the next few hours the most memorable and meaningful of our trip.
Taking a driving vacation this summer? Follow your heart. Change the plan. Listen to the voices.
Eric Rhoads
PS: I adapted this piece from one I wrote on July 31, 1998. I discovered it in an envelope my mom kept. She kept everything I ever wrote or everything written about me, including an editorial I once wrote called “Listen to Your Mother.”
That was, in fact the last time we ever saw Ruth and Clifford, and the last time we visited the family farm and church. And now my mom is gone too, which makes me especially grateful that we took this detour, and took her on a road trip that year.
We all live very busy lives, where impulsive side trips can be annoying, but looking back, that 24 hours became one of the richest memories of my life. It turns out it was one of the most important things I have ever done. At the time, it was a sudden impulse. I remember thinking … “Not this trip, maybe someday in the future.” Now, a couple of decades later, I can say I’ve never driven that way again. But it’s something I need to do … go see the old farm, and little cousins I played with as a child who are now senior citizens. Take the time. Take the side trips. Grab a family member and take them back to their childhood.
PS2: I’d love to make some new friends and have you join me in the Adirondacks starting June 8 for a week of painting and hanging out together. I’ve made some of my closest friendships as a result of this event.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. My sister died last year at this time so I feel your pain. I love reading your Sunday morning coffee but this morning was such a surprise for me. I live in Jamestown, Tennessee and know exactly where you are talking about and probably knew Ruth and Clifford or went to school with their kids. I attended York Institute (named for Sgt Alvin C. York) and I am a retired art teacher from Clarkrange High School. My hope is to make it to a plein air painting with you in the Adirondacks.
Eric, so sorry to hear that your mother has passed. Our heartfelt sympathies go out to you and your family.
Going back to our “roots” is always fun, but somehow it is never the same as when we were young. Enjoy your summer and know that I
enjoy your Sunday Coffee emails.
Nancy and Bob Schell in rainy Pa.
Dear Eric,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I’m praying for God to comfort you and your family. How wonderful to have so many happy memories and thanks for sharing them as a way of encouragement and reminder to look back but also look ahead. Blessings , Louise
Hi Eric, read your article again this morning, family memories are so special. I forwarded it to my daughter saying “this is how I felt” when visiting relatives in Napa. I was able to visit my last living aunt Iydell the weekend of PACE in San Francisco. Used to see her older sisters, my parents for yrs when I visited but they are all gone now. My visit also included a breakfast with my brothers at “Buttercream Bakery” in Napa, next to the original Napa high. Sorry for your loss, its tough to lose parents, so many memories, stories I wish I had written down. Thank you for sharing your memories. George
Eric, I so much understand the side trip, I have done a few of those myself. Both my wife and I very much enjoy road trips, especially in our 1958 Austin-Healey, thousands of miles at a time and while we have a destination, we usually leave plenty of time in between for side trips so we do not miss out on too much. I have also taken my mother on some of these kind of rips to places she would never have visited as she was a widow by then and could not speak English, but before she came along, she had mapped some of the things someone had told her she should see and it very much added to the memories of these trips. Once they are gone you can only relive them in your memories. Thanks for the great article
It’s interesting to read this piece as I am in transit from Sidney, TX to Canada to meet my brother 10 years my senior to go fishing. Probably the last time we do this. You know it’s worth the effort. The scenery won’t be that hard on the eyes either. Yes, I did bring. My art bag.
So very sorry about your moms passing. Mine passed two years ago and it’s a journey that I know goes with you for the rest of your life. Nice that you could pick up warmth of family. Tears? They help the process.
You will also put comfort in your paintings I’m sure.
Probably due to you have the choice on subject matter which could be a memory painting
Enjoy this memory journey…
Dear Eric. I want to tell you how much pleasure I get reading your missives! Art comes in many forms and yours especially warm the heart and soul in ways perhaps transcending a canvas. Please continue to share your golden thoughts with us.
I am very sorry for your loss. Yet, so glad that you could write about your mother and this special trip. Just guessing but I think she would have enjoyed it very much.
A great letter, indeed! Made me think of so many fond memories. I’m at the point in life where I draw on those old memories.
Recently, a cousin was lamenting that it seemed as if we were having our family reunions at funerals! Not one of us has any guarantee about life span. I would love to be with you all in the Adirondacks but health issues prevent that. I used to trek the Boundary Waters and your promo shots greatly remind me of those days.
Great letter, Eric. Family remembrance is so important and we thank you for sharing.
Thank you Eric. It brought tears to my eyes.
Great story–especially liked the epilogue. Discovered in my Mother’s bedside table after she passed–a handwritten recipe for her excellent crumb cake and a newspaper story on how difficult it is to lose your parents, no matter what your age. Fifteen years on, only now appreciate how fraught partings become when you’re older. I lost 4 friends in the past three weeks–one to suicide and three to cancer–only one of those was older than me. We may not be able to drive down that road again together. Do the road trip!
ERIC…..THIS IS SUNDAY IN SAN DIEGO, AND THE FIRST ENCOUNTER FOR ME, A 93 YEAR OLD ARTIST, IS READING YOUR ?SUNDAY MORNING COFFEE”…..I LOVE IT…YOU ARE SO DOWN TO EARTH AND OPTIMISTIC…I’M ALMOST TOTALLY DISABLED AS FAR AS WALKING, BUT SIT AT MY EASEL PAINTING ALMOST EVERY DAY, TO KEEP MY SPIRIT UP…I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO ATTEND ONE OF YOUR PLEIN AIR ACTIVITIES, BUT SO ENJOY HEARING AND SEEING BLOGS YOU PUT OUT…..THE ONE YOU SENT TODAY WAS SO WARM HEARTED IT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE….KEEP THEM COMING…………..GEORGE
Like so many of us at this age, we know we will lose our parents one day…but when that day comes we are so pitifully prepared. All the loving things I could have said to my Mom and all the hugs I could have given her, but didn’t because I was so busy with my own life are a source of deep and tearful regret now. I encourage you to touch and talk, listen and still learn from them as long as you are fortunate enough to have them near. I cannot remember ever saying to my parents “thank you” for believing in me and my dreams. I don’t know now that the words would have been as important as their unquestionable support that allowed me to share those dreams with them.
Love this. It made me have a hankering for homemade biscuits. My daughter was home so I asked her to make me some since mine turn out like hockey pucks. She is a chemist as well as a baker and has explained that the way to get the maximum rise is to add the baking powder right before you put them into the preheated oven. Despite gluten free flour and 7300 ft altitude she made me the ultimate comfort food. Your article was not about the biscuits but they do conjure up soothing family memories.
This story really resonates with me, not quite the same but I took my mom on a trip a few years ago, we went to find where her grandparents were buried, drove down country roads looking for the old school. Travelled around the province to find the farms she grew up on and where the younger kids were born. We visited her sisters along the way and had a wonderful time. Mom told me story’s about her childhood that I will always cherish. She was born in 1918 and just passed away this year a day before her 101st birthday.
Oh my goodness~~ this is so wonderful to read this story. It is so moving. I am a firm believer in listening to your inner voice. Most people dont even know they have an inner voice! I love your articles and writing and art. I cannot do a paint trip or outing , I am too old and crippled and on a small income but I had lots of adventures when I was younger and I did listen to my inner voice! No regrets!! Live it while you can!! Life is short , enjoy the earth and friends and loved ones! Thank you for sharing this wonderful time you had with us! I totally loved it!!
Beautiful story of family love. Made me think about my far flung family. Thanks
Our prayers are with you
Dear Eric, Laurie & kids,
My sincerest condolences to you over the passing of your mom and grandmother. As I read your words this week, I also cried along with you as grief has no measure when losing a loved one and many days for me seems just like yesterday. The memories you have
written about your mom in the past & in her passing are beautiful & a recollection of family history in her honour.
My prayers to you all,
Jean Marshall