Tossing and turning from the sweltering heat and the bright sun blasting a furnace of light through the windows, I hop out of my otherwise coży bed, make my way to the coffeemaker in the kitchen, and head to the dock to sip my wakeup juice. Alas, it’s so hot, I slip my bare legs into the water to cool the lower half of my body. When I’m done writing this (assuming I don’t drop my tablet into the drink), I’ll take a swim.
Though this has been the rainiest I can remember in three decades of summer life in the Adirondacks, the few warm summer days have been glorious and made up for the rain. Spare time has found me flat-out on the dock absorbing the sun’s rays, painting in my little wooden electric boat (though never enough), and sitting with a few visiting friends. And like all summers, all good things will come to an end.
This week I’ll slip away, head to Austin to host my newest online art conference, and then make my way back for a few more glorious weeks. When I return my kids will be off to college, though they are understandably anxious because of the uncertainty in the world.
What about you?
Are you finding yourself anxious about the uncertainty of the world?
Is fear entering your mind more than ever?
Yeah, me too.
A wise man (my dad) once told me years ago a trick he used when he could not sleep because of worry.
“Get up, write down everything you find yourself worrying about, and then go through the list. Is there anything I can change tonight at 2 a.m.? If not, tell yourself you can’t impact it tonight, and that you need rest to deal with the issues well during daylight.”
I have used this for years and it’s very effective.
But what about worry in the daytime?
I find myself dealing with worry or anxiety by asking myself these questions…
What’s the worst that can happen?
Is there anything I can do to change the outcome, and if so, what specifically can I do?
Sometimes asking ourselves simple questions gives us very clear answers.
The worst that can happen is that I’ll die and my family will have to get along without me.
What can I do about that?
In that case my anxiety stems from being ready to die. Though we are never ready, for me it’s about my faith and my belief that I’m ready from that perspective. And, as far as my family goes, I have to make sure I’ve got my affairs in order, my will written or updated, and hopefully enough savings or investments or insurance to get my wife and kids through it.
Knowing these things are handled would give me great peace of mind. The things unsettled give me anxiety, and motivation to get them done so the anxiety stops.
What about you?
What’s the worst that can happen?
What do you need to do to make sure you are prepared for the worst?
What things remain that are causing anxiety?
The other thing I have to ask myself is, what can I change?
Can I change the pandemic or the government response? In my case, no. So rather than getting worked up about it, I ask myself, what can I change related to that issue? Then I need to do those things.
The simple act of these questions, changing what I can, and stopping stressing about what I cannot change, has given me tremendous peace. Therefore these things don’t bug me like they bug others.
Make Up Your Mind!
Mindset also plays a critical role. I’ve told myself I refuse to allow this to ruin my life, my relationships, or my mental or physical health.
Would I regret spending the last year of my life in a twisted, worried anxiety state? Would I rather be calm and living the highest quality I can under the circumstances?
Being Mentally Ready
My gut tells me things are going to get worse before they get better. My instincts tell me that with all the things going on in the world (fires, floods, protests, riots, etc.) that it’s not just the pandemic I could be worrying about. But my mindset is very calm, and I won’t move into fight-or-flight stress until it has a direct impact. Even then, being calm in the midst of a storm will serve you and me well.
Do we want to deal with any of it? Of course not. But we all deal with the cards we’re dealt. Until then, we can be ready for the worst, prepared in any area we can control. After that, we can either go down the road of stress and anxiety or the road of peace.
Which road will you choose?
If this were your last month on earth, how would you want to live it? How do you want to interact with your family? What example do you want to share with them?
Choose wisely.
Eric Rhoads
PS: Is it possible for you to find things that give you peace and offer you a chance to be creative? Many of my friends are bound up in work-related stress. Recently I asked one of my friends, “How do you get away from it? What hobbies do you have?” His answer was that he could not get away and he had none.
When I recommended he take up painting, he said, “Sounds fun, but I don’t have what it takes. I was not born with an art gene.”
I’m spending my life helping people understand that there is no art gene required, and that if you can follow a mac-and-cheese recipe on a box, I can teach you the process of painting. Many don’t believe me, and others don’t believe me — but try, and are happily pleased they listened.
Some types of art are harder to learn than others. But when we were kids, most of us played with crayons. What if I could introduce you to adult crayons? Something you can use to create beauty, based on what you were familiar with as a kid?
Pastel is very sophisticated and very beautiful, but we work it like crayons. I have a Beginner’s Cay this Wednesday teaching pastel before my 3-day Pastel Live online event. Just taking the Beginner’s Day could change your life and help you lose your stress. And if you’re thinking that it’s not worth the risk, I offer a full money back guarantee. If you watch the first day and don’t think it’s for you, you get all your money back and you get the day you watched for free.
I hope you’ll check it out. The price increase is tonight at midnight. PastelLive.com.
Thank you for you insights and incredible wisdom, Eric! I so look forwrd to Sunday coffee because it offers me such food for thought and a fresh perspective on life. During these uncertain times of the pandemic, catastrophic weather outbreaks, politcal injustices and upheaval. I try to hold onto the positive aspects of life spending quality time with family and friends. Along with the most central premise in my life which is remaining positive through discernment,meditation and prayer the grounding essence of my life. Thank you for you sentiments and authentic voice. Blessings to you my friend.
I always look forward to read your Sunday article Eric, and I really enjoy it. Thank you
I, too, enjoy your Sunday message and look forward to it every week. We are living in such a troubled world, escaping for hours at a time sitting at my easel brings peace & calm into my life, and I can sense many of us artists feel the same. Would love to have joined the Fall Color Week gig, however, will not travel at this time. As I’m in my 60s, I feel there is so much I want to do while I still can and my fear is I’ll run out of time, which causes anxiety … oh the web we weave in our minds … Please keep these wonderful messages coming ~
Eric,
I wish I had read this at 2:00 AM last night when I couldn’t sleep. You always have the special ability to encourage, support and teach with humility and vulnerability. I just wanted to reach out from my “Monday morning coffee” and say hello and especially, thank you!
I needed to hear this one!! How can I post it on Facebook for all my friends to read?
We thank you so much much for your morning coffee conversation, so true and comforting. The one thing you stated about playing the cards we’re dealt helps because it’s a way to accept the crummy stuff and trudge on and be positive!!!
Thank you for this wonderful article. Very good advice for everyone!!
Your wise advice is very appreciated. When my time is up on earth, I will not ask myself how effective my job was or what kind of products I sold, produced or bought…. I will probably say…. I didn’t paint enough. I didn’t spend my time with nature to gather insight and use it creatively.
I won’t be looking at the balance in my checking account.
Always enjoy your Sunday coffee. thanks.
Hi Eric
I have been following and enjoying your sort YouTube videos and very much enjoy Cynthia Rosens video which I purchased. All of your artists give valuable info on composition,values etc however they dont seem to talk about actual physical teqniques of applying paint with a brush or pallet knife. I would be really helpful to have a video devoted to this or at least a short section on each video about how the artist handles his tools to achieve the effects with the paint.
Your words, Eric, are always thoughtful. I think we all share anxiety at some level, especially those of us who relate to our world through art. I just finished a long road trip with my 91 year old BFF (okay, my mother-in-law, Dolly). We toured Maine, P-Town, Boston, Gettysburg. This road trip took me back to the three-week car trips my family did every summer when I was a boy. I saw most of the country this way.
This recent road trip brought back memories of my wide-eyed beginnings as an artist…lessons in Learning to SEE and record the world I observed during these road trips. This time was different because we were traveling with a rambunctious, wheel chair-bound 91 year-old. Dolly is very resilient, and showed her courage daily in overcoming her physical challenges. I felt her anxiety every morning in just getting from the motel room into the van. There were many beautiful and bittersweet moments as well…moments I will recall when I set to work painting my memories.
I relate to your simplistic approach to life and it’s challenges. While not always successful, I do my best to Keep It Simple on a daily basis. Life happens! Now to stay motivated and get to work on my next pet commission and prepare a canvas to paint my grandson playing his horn. I actually signed up for a 4 weekly session leisure class (in oerson) at a local gallery to get the motivation going. My issue is painting alone all if the time at home in my studio. Happy Sunday.🤪
Thanks for reminding people that stress and anxiety are sometimes unavoidable, but also an opportunity to become stronger and better in many ways. Conquering fear of death is a good thing, and when we can do that, or at least be willing to work at that, then we really can enjoy life more no matter is going on. We can do our best for ourselves and others, and if that is all we can do then that is good enough. Thanks for a good talk Eric.
God always sends me a message everyday to fit my needs to fill his will in my life. Thank so much for this…there was not a word written which did not speak to my soul and my thoughts. I am surviving in my 5th week of Covid recovery. Like you I do not fear death, but the undone deeds or hopes of the future for those I will leave behind are worrisome. We are not forgotten, the future is not ours to see, but those who are still among us need to seek the path of peace, as there is no other day like today.
Wonderful insights to “state of mind” – Chicken little or briar rabbit.
But it takes strength and education to face problems big & small.
I will miss your ADK moments as the retreat is sold.
Side bar – typo last full paragraph line 2, Cay=Day.
Not that I can spell or write, but when I read – I read each
word – if I see something new – I have to look it up –
cay – small sand island on coral reef – neat!
Thanks for all your efforts on sharing the challenge
of art.
Happy Trails & God Speed
George
I really enjoy reading your Sunday Morning emails because they are uplifting and full of wisdom. You share great advice again in this one. Thank you so much!
Eric,
I look forward to Sunday Coffee each week. Your articles are timely and
Inspiring. Thank you for all you do to promote and support Art and Artists.
Really great Eric. I need this today! God bless:)
Really enjoy reading your Sunday morning articles Eric..You have a great gift of motivating and uplifting people. Not only in art but in the every day normal aspects of life.
Always uplifting and filled with good philosphy – Thank you Eric.