Opening my eyes today, a new scene shocks my brain. “Where am I?” I think. Only to realize I’ve awakened back in Austin after several months away.
As I meander to the porch, I’m hit with a blast of cold air, realizing that, having left in June, I completely missed months of the over-100-degree furnace. Fall is in the air, but color change here is often subtle, as is the case now. Though the tree in front of my neighbors’ home will soon change to a fire red, inviting me to paint it once again, as I do each year.
Usually when I’m away, I fill in with a “best of,” but this time, away in New Zealand for a couple of weeks and then on to Maine for my Fall Color Week artists’ retreat, I completely forgot to do it, so your Sunday mailbox may have been a little emptier than normal. Hopefully absence has made your heart grow fonder. I know I’ve missed writing.
The reason for my absence was, first, a much-needed week off, then the trip to New Zealand where I hosted a group of artists for almost two weeks, and then off to Fall Color Week in Maine. Then five days driving back, which included visits to two of our three kids along the way home.
A Culture Like No Other
In New Zealand, we started our trip with an art historian who helped us understand New Zealand culture. He told us of a Maori word (which escapes me now), which is THE desirable status for people in New Zealand.
Money Money Money
Status in New Zealand is not about money or what you own. It’s about your contribution, your reputation, and the mark you make for others. That may explain why I’ve never met happier, more interested people. Interested in learning about us, and truly listening, not eagerly waiting to tell us about themselves. And not at all interested in telling us about their cars, houses, or bank accounts.
It was refreshing.
Following our travels with our artists, meeting New Zealanders along the way, my wife and I visited a friend for a weekend. He picked us up at the airport in a 20-year-old car with duct tape on the torn front seat. He made no mention or apology; it was just his transportation.
If that had happened in the U.S., he’d likely have been making excuses. I know I probably would.
Can You Say Red Carpet?
My friend isn’t just any New Zealander. He is not only a prominent citizen (knighted by the Governor-General, having turned down being knighted by the Queen because it would have been “over the top”), he is the founder of a major motion picture studio that has created or been involved in some of the most important and famous films in the world. Annually they play a role in about 50 major films. He has hundreds of employees, can pick up the phone and call any household name in Hollywood, and he has several Oscars and is a household name himself. Yet you would never know it when meeting him. There is no arrogance, no airs about him.
More Than Autographs
While hanging out with him in a public place, he was approached by a few people who knew who he was. And instead of playing the typical “star” role, as many people I know would have done, he was gracious, curious, and interested in the people who approached him. He truly wanted to know about them and their stories. In many cases he spoke with them for 10 or 20 minutes.
That says it all.
There is no bragging about what he does, what he owns, how much money he makes, and who he knows. In fact, he’s lived quietly in the same modest home for over 30 years.
A Tool for Better Things
To him, money is a tool to do cooler things. He puts what he earns back into the business or into new and interesting projects. His currency isn’t money, it’s people, and it’s finding new and better ways to do things.
I point this out because I find it so unusual and refreshing. And so unlike what you might experience in other parts of the world, where showing off is everything.
For that reason … I’m officially moving to New Zealand.
(Just kidding. But I would if it were not for the distance for me to travel to my kids, meetings, and events.)
World’s Hottest Models
Some of my best friends in America are also models of this model behavior. Which is why they are my best friends. We “nerd out” about cool things, cool books, great art, great music, and interesting innovations. We don’t nerd out about material objects and money.
Sadly, much of our world seems to have become all about who has what, how much they have, and how to get more. We care more about fashion, cars, plastic surgery, gadgets, and social media posturing than we do about the meaning of our lives and our true contribution.
So many are driven to get more. But to what end? What will having more bring us?
Cool Things Rule
What I love about my New Zealand friend is that he is driven by his life’s purpose to do cool things. To invent. To create. To do what hasn’t been done. And he does it while seeking ways to help everyone on his team and make the best work he can for his customers.
What if you and I were more about our mission, our passion, helping others, and less about the status of money?
I admit it, there was a time when I thought I was supposed to chase money and cool things, but something changed. Now, to me, money is a tool, something to buy freedom, something to allow experimentation and launching new ideas.
My friend Norm says, “I’ve been poor and I’ve been rich. Rich is better.” Though I don’t disagree with him, if money is all you’ve got, you may not be living a rich life.
Are you living life with purpose?
Are you focused on doing things well, on building a reputation that isn’t about money, but about that purpose?
Are you alive and on fire for your passion?
Returning to America, I found people to be short with me, too busy to interact, only wanting to talk about themselves and uninterested in others. The contrast screams out loud after time in New Zealand.
I think it’s important that our kids know … it’s not all about money, shiny objects, and fame. They need to know it’s OK not to chase dollars and instead to chase what you truly love.
Eric Rhoads
PS: This trip helped me see that I need to do more cool things. I need to innovate more. I need to take more risks. I need to play more, have more fun experimenting with things, and just come up with ideas that will make things better and more fun for you.
Stay tuned.
One Very Cool Thing
Meanwhile, my next cool thing is our Realism Live online conference for a few days next month. There is already a massive audience signed up, and I guarantee it will be cool and make you more passionate about your art (or learning from scratch), or your money back. I would never ask you to do something I would not do. Check it out at www.realismlive.com. Yes, you need to play more, have more fun, and add more interesting things to your life, even if you think you can’t do it.
Another Cool Thing
Oh, and I’d like to ask you to consider subscribing to PleinAir Magazine. Even if you get it at the library or newsstands, it’s better to subscribe and have your own copy come to you. Our digital issue has 30% more content than our print issue, and they are both awesome. Visit www.pleinairmagazine.com
Good words to read. Thank uou.
There are too many people living on the surface around me.
Hurry, hurry.
. I love this outlook.
Fabulous!
Hello Eric,
I particularly liked this Sunday Coffee, as it reminded me of the lovely time that I spent in NZ on this trip with your group. We had a wonderful time meeting New Zealand and painting her memories onto our canvases. Pretty nice work by all of the group too. Despite the COVID intrusion, it was memorable. I believe that our guide, Angie, embodies that New Zealand quality that you speak of in this post. Vibrant, interesting and warm. She refers to NZ as “our little country”. It packs a wallop!
I much enjoyed spending time getting to know you and Laurie. Thank you.
Appreciate the pep talk full of good advice 🙂
Thank you. I look forward to your weekly message. It always inspires me.
You can’t take it with you! As we age we settle down – more enjoy the feeling of what we’ve accomplished, those we’ve helped, places we’ve really experienced. Much of that actually ‘stays’. And making our own genuine art is the best gift to leave those you must. A true piece of yourself!
I love your comments on the New Zealand attitude. It is also, based on photos I have seen, a beautiful country and if the opportunity arose I too would be tempted to move there. Welcome back.
Hi Eric,
I love New Zealand and the wonderful people there and wanted to move there too. The same reason we could not.
I greatly enjoy your letters. I have a sick husband and we do not travel so much anymore, and we miss it.
Pat Suggs
One of your best!
Thank you Eric, well written and a beautiful approach to life.
Thank you Eric; your outlook moves my heart! My husband was my example of the same.
Exactly. You always hit the nail right on its tiny little head.
Well said! And with that, I’m ready to move to New Zealand. I always enjoy your Sunday posts…keep ’em coming!
You are SO right about New Zealand. And our time in Australia was the same. Total hospitality, generosity and no materialism. Our son lives in Oz, and to get residency he was advised to be “keen” to live there. We visited two weeks after 9/11. In a shop the two salespeople were busy behind the check out — sewing quilt squares to assemble and send to NYC. They cherish experiences, not things. ❤️
Eric (if I may call you by your first name),
I just cancelled my newly renewed digital subscription to PleinAir Magazine. So that I could resubscribe to the paper and digital issues. There is nothing like holding a physical magazine or book to read. Sue Henry was a true pleasure to speak with and to have her help making the transition.
Three years of attending Pastel Live, I appreciate having continued contact with Streamline Publishing. Thank you for what you do and wishing you and your crew many more years of success.
Warmest Regards,
Steve
Hi Eric, You are totally right! In North America we need to take a U-Turn on what is really important. You have been an example of this. When the shut down happened in Covid you started Streamline. This was a risk but you did it to help others weather the hard times. I think it did pay off financially but you were not motivated by that. Think of where the US would be politically, socially, financially and personally if your and my culture would change to make people matter, not money.
I live in Toronto and spend all of my time in service of my family, and other artists…and my dog.
I started to notice you just before Covid and love all that you do for others.
Thanks, Eric.
I always enjoy what you have say and how you learn from others. I can relate to what you say. I was a teacher for 40 years and it has always been about my students and their families.
Enjoyed your letter today; thanks for passing it on. I’m hoping lots of your readers and followers take note. Great advice.
An addendum to previous comment:
I just wanted to add that New Zealands beauty and people have always had an enormous attraction for me too
But Eric there are places in the US where people live simply ( mostly in rural areas ) and are quite down to earth
WE drove around both islands in New Zealand about 20 years ago. That was the first, and only time, ever, that I have rented a car and someone came out with me and showed me how everything in the car worked, including where the jack was in case I needed it.
When I renewed my subscription a while back, the digital edition came with it. But no directions on how to access it. I hate to be so stupid but my excuse is my 80th birthday is next month
How wonderful you got back to New Zealand. I think it’s the most beautiful place I have ever been too. The San Juan islands in Washington state reminds me of it a lot . (In case you ever do a group there) . I have missed the tribe this summer and fall ,but healing well . I lived vicariously through everyones wonderful pics. Just felt like saying hello and loved your coffee with Eric today . Best always, Lynda
Eric,
Thank you for your Sunday coffee letter. It’s alway a very interesting read. I especially loved this letter about your very special friend. It’s very heart felt and true that life’s possessions, money and speaking of one’s self are not what life is about. Living life is about sharing your real self and always being curious. Sure money gives you a freedom. But you must know how to live a life honestly and as a good human. Thanks for being real❤️.
Sincerely,
Julie Castillo
Hi Mr. Rhoads,
this Storry was realy a plesure to reed!
I would like to subsscribe the Magazine, but I have to take care of my Mom. What I do with a plesure, without thinking!
Meanwhile I’m looking all your YouTube Videos and learn and paint with that what I have here laying around.
Ceep doinng what you do!
Best regards
Kevin Ender
Good morning, Eric, I missed your Sunday morning coffee words. Welcome back! When I read your musings, it’s like a good friend knocked on my door and we sat down to look at the day. Thanks so much for what you do and for staying humble.
Thank you Eric, for this last Sunday letter. I’m inspired. The next show I’m entering is “Abstracts”. I’ve been sort of ambivalent about it. Now, thanks to your letter I’m psyched to “just do it” and be exuberant! I know the title; a Maine saying; “You can’t get there from here”. That means I can do ANYTHING!!
Once again, I’m grateful for your inspiration!
Alice Ingraham
What a great way to start my week again…Sunday Coffee. Thank you for sharing your perspective from your summer…once again you encourage the arts and artists snd make a difference to do many.
I’m already anxiously await Watercolor LIVE 2023….I’m working at waiting patiently🥴.
Hi Eric…..it sounds like N.Z. was a big hit with you and I hope with your group of artists, I would love to see their art works (did our fickle weather /sandfly behave long enough for them to finish a painting or two???)…anyway ,keep up your enthusiasm and positive out look ,it’s what’s needed after I read the newspapers .
Cheers from Christchurch
Welcome back and Amen to those wonderful New Zealanders who live the REAL meaning of life.
I’ve lived in NZ for almost 40 years. Yes you’re right about how people here are not so focussed on material things. I think it’s because we live in a small country where bragging about how much money and material things you have will not win you any friends. It’s not what people value here. People value you as an individual and how much “mana” you have ( this is a hard concept to explain and it’s somewhere between humility and status that has been given to you by your peers). Money doesn’t buy you respect or status in our community. So it’s actually hard for artists to self-promote. We also have something called “tall poppy syndrome” which means anyone self-promoting will get cut down for doing so. Recognition and accolades have to come from peers. Not a bad way to live.
And by the way, I think that your “friend” sounds a lot like Peter Jackson (note I didn’t say Sir Peter!)
Money is a tool, something to buy freedom. That is 100% correct
I love your posts!
Canada would seem to be somewhere between your perception of new zealand and your experience of usa. here you can find both ways of life if one bothers to look. A myriad of choices and a large country make that possible. The older of us lament how it used to be before XYZ took place but life is change and all things and perseptions of reality change. art changes along with it.
Thanks for your thoughts on what is more important, money and stuff or a passionate interest in trying to be creative in some form or other and having the good fortune to have genuine friends around. IF you can help others out, or just try to be gentle with the people you meet. That is good too.
What a wonderful and inspiring post. I am going to save in my file of inspiring writings. Thank you.
Eric I was so thankful to see you back in my mail box:) You were missed! I am on the same page with you definitely and have been thinking how can I give back. I have made a commitment to give to charity a substantial amount to charity – not sure how to do it but I am working on it. You have given back and are an inspiration! Cheers
Hi Eric:
I believe the Maori word you’re looking for in Mana:
In Māori terms, your mana comes down to how well you care for your family, subtribe, tribe and canoe. Ultimately, other people.
Thank you for an unforgettable trip.
Still inspired!
Pati
I have missed our Sunday coffees, and I’m glad you’re back. How did you know that today’s message was exactly what I needed to hear?
Earlier this year, I had the chance to fulfill a 40-year long dream of having a studio space large enough to share, with proper lighting, heat, etc., where I could introduce others to the amazing, obscure world of art-making, the same gift I was given so many years ago. When the builder’s estimate came in at nearly double what I was hoping for, I told my husband that we could not afford it, but he replied, “Yes, we can. If not now, when?”
We are far from wealthy, but proceeded with the project, with me fretting over the cost and feeling guilty. It was completed several months ago, and is the studio of my dreams. I have several students already, and plans for expanded classes next year. I don’t charge any money for the “paint sessions “ because my intent is not another business to run, just to share the gift. Your column today confirms my instinct, and I will not feel guilty anymore about the money, which was just a tool. If I can help even one more person open the door to seeing as an artist, it will all be worth it.
Thank you.
One of your best ‘Sunday Coffee’s to date, IMHO. (In My Humble Opinion).
I am doing mental calisthenics trying to noodle who is your “friend”.
As always…your Sunday morning “uplifters” have done it again for me. I am re-enthused, re-invented and making promises to myself to jump into new cool things I have been putting off! I just want to say THANK YOU!
An old friend.
Hi Eric, you have been truly missed in my Sunday morning routine! Thank you for your willingness to share your experiences and many of the wonderful discoveries you’ve made on your travels…it is inspiring.
Hi Eric, your Sunday Coffee post was an affirmation of what living the good life truly means.
Welcome back, and milk that New Zealand vibe as long as you can!
Ahhhh, Namaste,
Patti
Yes, I missed coffee with you.
Thank you for your inspiring words.