Distant layers of rolling hills are barely visible this foggy morning, each layer lighter and bluer than the one before. A lone light on a hill in the distance shines brightly against the gray background, making me think that me and the person in that house are the only people awake this early. If I knew Morse code, I’d blink a good morning message. Everyone else is sleeping, and though I enjoy my alone time, I’d love to have a chat with someone over coffee about now. The sleep has left my eyes, and I’m caffeine-infused and ready for action.
In Search of Sunshine
Stillness surrounds this morning, and the calls of birds are heard from the limbs above, telegraphing from tree to tree. The shiny wet ground is covered with rotting leaves left over from fall. Small green sprouts are pushing their way out of the soil in search of sunshine to nourish them, and will soon reveal a blanket of wildflower colors. Brilliant bright green buds are peeking out at the very tops of the otherwise bare-limbed trees. And nearby, fields of bluebonnets have carpeted the hills in purples and blues. I look forward to the two weeks each year that bluebonnets blanket this state. Perhaps today I’ll drag my easel out along with some extra tubes of blue and purple.
Blankets of Gray
Growing up in Indiana, where snow drifted to six or eight feet, early signs of spring were as welcome as a long-lost relative coming home after years away. We embraced spring with a giant hug, and though it was still cold, we would take a blanket out to the park to bask in the sun because we couldn’t wait for the warmth to come. Anything other than a gray day was a welcome sight. I tend to be a fair-weather painter, though rain and snow are two of my favorite things to paint.
An Army of Painters
Soon, as winter fades, an army of plein air painters will emerge to capture the beauty of the season. In just a few weeks, several hundred of us will gather for spring training in San Francisco so we’re tuned up for the season. If you see a painter along the side of the road, toot your horn happily to celebrate their presence. If you hear of a plein air event, make a point of visiting to learn more. But be careful — we’re finding lots of people who go to events to watch end up as painters. You might come away with a new passion.
Early Decisions That Stick
Passion is a funny thing. At age 14 I fell in love with radio broadcasting and made a decision to become a broadcaster at that age. This year I celebrate 50 years in the radio industry. I’m no longer on the air (though I do a plein air podcast), but my passion remains strong to this day.
One day as I held one of my babies and looked up at a full moon, his first words, as he pointed upward, were “moon stars and the sky.” As a toddler he wanted to become a scuba diver/astronaut, and to this day his passion is to go into space and be one of the people to colonize Mars. And though I would miss him desperately, I don’t want to rain on his dream. Instead I want to encourage it as my parents encouraged my dreams. As a child I dreamed of being an artist, a businessman, and a radio guy. That’s the life I live today.
The more I talk to people, the more I realize that more often than not, people are doing things they dreamed of as children. It’s usually motivated by something specific. For instance, I met a young doctor who pursued medicine because his dad died at an early age and he did not want anyone else to go through that pain.
Watch Your Words Carefully
Sadly, I’ve also encountered people whose dreams were discouraged as foolish, who chased what they were told to chase instead of what was in their hearts. Though we want what’s best for our kids, who are we to know that their dream isn’t right for them? I’ve probably met hundreds of artists who told me they took on other careers and were miserable until retirement, when they finally decided to chase their dream. Most were discouraged by their parents or family members because we have this incorrect belief that all artists starve. For the record, I can name dozens of millionaire artists, and a lot more who make a great living. Not that it’s all about money. Like anything else, there are those who strive and succeed and those who strive and fail, which is more about persistence and lifelong learning than it is luck. Most just give up too early, or don’t know what to do and don’t know how to find what to do, which is why I’m passionate about helping artists learn how to live their dreams.
What would happen if we all became encouragers? How would the world change if more people were doing what they loved instead of what they are “supposed to do”?
What would have happened to you if you had been encouraged more?
There Are No Limits
As a child I was continually told that there are no limits, that I could do anything I dreamed. The things I’ve not accomplished on my dream list are only because of the limits in my own head. And though I can’t will myself to be a 7-foot basketball player, there are examples of short players who beat the odds and broke records.
If you and I could each touch seven people this week with a random unexpected word of encouragement, we could have a massive impact.
And as these things go, when people GET encouraged, they tend to GIVE encouragement because they see how good it feels. This could snowball.
Mining for Gold
Be sincere. Look for something you see in someone and send them a note … tell them how much you appreciate them, how much they mean to you, and why you believe in them. Something I learned in IBM training decades ago is that after giving a compliment, it’s best to tell the person why what you’ve complimented means something to you.
If you and I did this once a day, every day for the rest of our lives, we would feel better, others would feel better, and we could impact a lot of lives.
Only Deposits
We all have emotional bank accounts. One compliment deposits 100 points. One negative comment withdraws 1,000 points. We may think we’re being practical and helping, but people who have more withdrawals than deposits have self-esteem problems and lack belief in themselves.
Hundreds of people have told me that one single word of encouragement has changed their lives. Sometimes all it took was for one person to believe in them when they didn’t believe in themselves.
What deposits will you make this week?
Have a great Sunday.
Eric Rhoads
PS: Last week I was in an office-building restroom and there was a worker in there who was hunched over, miserable, and clearly hated his job. I noticed that he was ignored as people came through. I also noticed how good the restroom looked, so I walked up to him and said, “I just want you to know that every time I come in here, this restroom is the cleanest restroom in town, and it’s always perfect. I want you to know that there is nothing worse than heading to a meeting and having to deal with a dirty restroom, but when it’s clean, it makes you feel better about yourself. You may not hear this enough, but you are making a difference in people’s lives. Thank you.” Then I handed him an unexpected tip. He got a big smile on his face, a gleam in his eye — which teared up a bit — his posture straightened, and he thanked me. Everybody wants to have pride in their work. Let’s show some appreciation wherever we go this week.
Hello,
I am a long time follower of your posts re: art & creativity.
I live in Boulder.
Might you possibly be in the area ??
Tim Diffenderfer
303-815-4530
Sorry Tim. I am just seeing this. I did drive thru Boulder and went up the back of the hill to the reservoir, which I wish I had time to paint. Pretty beautiful. Then went up to Estes.
Relax, put your feet up, and find time to do what you want to do. Thank you for all that you do for everyone else. Now, it is your time to ENJOY!!!
Good for you, Eric! Take time to relax!
Good for you. Enjoy!
Ah, I opened this email with great anticipation. I really enjoy these ramblings of yours. You are quite a guy. I understand the need for a break. I am amazed at the pace you maintain and your accomplishments. My concern is that this might be the start of weaning us off these. I’m enjoying a nice sunny and reasonably warm day in VA for a change. I took my pup for an hour long walk this morning. So many nice scenes that should be painted, but she doesn’t allow it. I did snap a couple of photos.
Aw! Miss you! Enjoy your spring break!
Enjoy the Spring break with your wonderful family. Those young ones grow so fast it isn’t long before they venture off to their own separate vacations. So enjoy! Rest up . See you in San Francisco for another terrific convention.
Good!! Enjoy!!
Good for you! Enjoy and soak up your family.
I loved the analogy of the “Emtional Bank Account” as I had not heard that for many years since being in a Law Enforcement training with police psychologist Kevin Gilmartin. Thank you for reminding me of that and also demonstrating how powerful a simple recognition and/or compliment can change a person’s attitude, Thank-you….
I love your encouraging words to the man cleaning the restroom. Thanks for being aware of other’s feelings. You’re a good example of how to treat others. Thanks.
I always enjoy reading your Sunday Coffee Emails but, for me, your PS was the nicest part of today’s message. We tend to treat clean washrooms in public places and office towers as a given. People treat them dreadfully, dropping things on the floor and leaving them there; things they wouldn’t think of doing at home or at a friend’s. It was so nice of you to say “Thank you” to the worker. I’m sure even treating him as a person worthy of respect and notice mad a big difference. This is something he will remember, take out and savour on days in the future when things look bleak. He’ll remember that even though most people won’t say so, he is making a difference in peoples’ lives and making their day better.
Thank you for the inspirational “pep talk”. It came at a bump in my road and left me in better spirits. I can relate to smiling and thanking people who have service jobs. It always leaves a better mood. No one is unnecessary and should be made to feel good about what they do and the job they do.
I can also add that my young son and five other boys in his third grade class were told by their young teacher that they were stupid and would never about to anything. This boys had different levels of dyslexia. Long story short, the teacher was replaced, but it took years to get these boys to feel they were able of anything they dream. My son always went by “Eric the Great” before this, and it was some wonderful instructors in high school, along with parental encouragement, that had him signing his name that way again. Two of the other boys were not so lucky and found refuge in drugs with no good ending. I often had them over and tried to include them in family activities, but problems at home just didn’t make a encouraging environment. Talk to kids, know their friends and where they are as well as giving them positive activities. My son learned to read because I let him check out any books at the library…he chose corny joke books which we laughed and moaned through in fun for many years.
My story may be of track, but maybe it will help someone.
Thank you
Great,inspiring and very spot on ! I encounter people in the market, etc, who are so glum. Smiling at them is such a reward, because they smile back.People would have never done this when I was raised. My Husband talks deep conversations in the lines waiting for checkout. I love it ! Thank you Eric ! I look forward to every Sunday Coffee with you. See you soon in SF.
I love this article this week I could relate too word on the page I felt you talk to me I felt that you art big in art terms
Great soul-searching essay, and I agree wholeheartedly. The world is so full of hate these days that I wonder where it will all lead. Thank God we artists have the privilege of sowing beauty instead of hate. Your essays are a great Sunday treat and a few of my friends are now tuned in to your wisdom. Thank you for all you do.
Thank you Eric. I enjoy reading your posts, and they are inspiring and calming. Keep up the great writing for all of us out here that need a little encouragement.
Hi Eric,
One part of your excellent message struck me deeply. In fact, it has always been a sore point and a point of pride for me. I grew up in the 1950’s, the era of post war recovery and growing prosperity, black and white TV, Jon Gnagy’s 15 minute TV lessons, and very cautious working class parents who were still terrified that the Great Depression was always around the corner. I had shown an aptitude for art. In such an environment however, it was a foreign language, perhaps something that was cute but certainly not serious. When I was twelve or so my father, a victim of hard economic times, asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. When I replied that I wanted to be an artist, he started screaming at me. Remember, I was twelve, a kid, still being molded. After I stopped crying, I think my mother sooth over the situation. I still continued to draw, but pursued other academic interests that eventually led me on a track to pursue a law degree. Needless to say, there was a lot of history in between. I always worked and saved as a kid so I had my own seed money. Eventually, as was my nature, always a bit rebellious, I did what I wanted to do and became an artist. So for the last 39 years, I have run my own gallery, (which you have been in), show in others, and participate in many plein air events. I have done well for myself and keep trying to improve. The sore point, you may ask? I became a professional in 1981. I often think that instead of being screamed at I had been encouraged to hone my talents, how much farther along this journey I could have been by now. Obviously, it can’t be measured and at 69 I do understand what motivated that outburst and other remarks by my father. I certainly have made up for a lot of lost time and have tasted the fruits of success, both aesthetically and economically. For that I am eternally grateful. Thanks for another excellent cup of coffee.
Loved this article particularly the last part about the janitor. As it turns out, last week I took the time to send someone a complimentary note and got such a wonderful reply that it made me feel good as well
Good words, Eric. Thank you. I like to encourage people when they do a good job or when they are feeling down. I need more of that myself but don’t seem to get it. I do get it when I paint. Perhaps that’s why I paint. Being a full time student in art school at 64 is very discouraging as it seems they don’t expect much from me. I believe they think I don’t have much time left to do anything significant. But I have goals to do the plein air competitions and I feel like I am in my forties. I say, never give up.
Hi Susan. I’m a late starter artist as well. I retired at 71 and started doing art at 72. I’m now 74 and I feel like I still have a long art career ahead. I visited your website. You are doing quite well. I particularly like the Mansion Yard painting. Also, the view in the room feature is nice. I haven’t seen that before. Best of luck to you. You are doing great.
Life has circular patterns. Many times we go around and around. Sometimes we stop where we started. I enjoyed reading your take on this concept. Now that I am retired from a day job I did not hate, I have returned full time to my art. Every day I feel like a child playing with my paints. It is sheer joy!
I just love your writing. It always makes me think. So thank you for the Sunday morning coffee. I am 76 and did not start painting until 15 tears ago. I wished i would have stared much younger. I new nothing about painting. I am still trying to learn. Its not easy for me and i just do it for myself. Thanks again
Great article. I always enjoy reading them; they are uplifting and encouraging.
Wonderful advice, Eric. Thank YOU for sharing with us.
Dear Eric,
After reading this morning’s Coffee with Eric, Gene and I turned to each other and simultaneously said, “He’s such a nice man”. So we’ll happily leave a million encouraging words and compliments in your direction. You are a man of great vision and a kind heart. I, too, always try to thank the rest room people for their hard and thankless work. But you’ve given me more words to say and a tip is a fine idea, no matter how much.
I’m off for a #1 on my bucket list trip to a safari in South Africa. So lucky to be able to do it and I’m thankful.
Sending a hug,
Ruth & Gene (the vegan cookie man)
Ruth you’re very thoughtful, Thank you. Congtats on Safari!! Wish I could go. Maybe you’ll come up to the Adirodacks again one day. Bring cookies 🙂