The smell of Christmas cookies is still in the air, combined with the scent of pine from our new Christmas tree. As I make my way out to the porch on this balmy Texas morning, sticky pine needles stick to my bare feet. Here I sit, staring out over a fresh morning, cuppa in hand, awaiting the last moments of peace as the hectic Christmas week is about to begin.
Big Muscles
Though I love to work, I’m looking forward to some time off. Like a muscle that is flexed constantly, your brain needs a break once in a while, a distraction, to open up to new possibilities. Christmas is the ending and the beginning.
Year-Round Christmas
When I was a kid, my father would insist we get our Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving. He loved the feel of Christmas, and in the last two years of his life, he left his Christmas tree up the whole time because he loved it so much and it brought so many memories.\
The Old Church
My Grandmother Luella was fun to visit at Christmas because she had bubble lights on her tree, which were probably from the 1940s. They were almost like miniature lava lamps, but if you touched them, you’d get burned! She also had a little plastic church; you would wind it up, and the music box would play while the doors opened. It was a favorite of all the grandkids, and I think everyone wanted it when she passed. I’m not sure who got it; it wasn’t me.
OK, So It’s Tacky
We grow fond of decorations. They become like family heirlooms, even if some are silly and some are tacky. When the kids were little my mom sent this Christmas angel with wings that light up in multiple colors. As tacky as it is, the kids still insist we put it out, and my guess is that if we are ever blessed with grandkids, it will be the decoration they all want to inherit when we pass.
A Song from Bing
One of my favorites is a cartoon-like Christmas caroller leaning against a lamppost, looking like Bing Crosby holding a microphone. When you press the button, it sings like Bing. Silly, tacky, but fun. Everyone groans when I push the button.
Cookie Cutters
Mom used to make Christmas cookies, pulling out these red plastic cookie cutters from the ’50s. I’m not sure what happened to them, but we bought a set at an antique store, as a reminder. Of course, they get used for making cookies.
Memory Bombs
Each time we put up the tree, the ornaments are like a time machine, stimulating memories. We have some from our childhoods, and lots our kids made when they were little. Ornaments from the kids’ band, ornaments from places we visited, ornaments from celebrations.
I never really stopped to think about these things till now, but these heirlooms carry important family history, and they often remain when our loved ones are gone, reminding us of them.
Each family has traditions. We always set a place at the table for Jesus, and we bake a baby Jesus figure into a cake. And we read the Christmas story from the Bible before we ever open gifts, so we’re putting Christ first.
Though I’m easily annoyed by the pressure of gift buying and the overt commercialization in retail, bringing Christmas out even before Halloween, I’m grateful for the tradition and the feeling it gives us each year.
What are your family traditions?
What are your favorite memories of Christmas past?
Favorite Christmas movies?
Christmas is, in my humble opinion, Christ bringing us together, keeping families together, and helping us to remember and honor those who can’t be with us. It’s a time of joy, allowing us to perhaps forget for a brief time some of the difficult moments we face the rest of the year.
In just one week, those of us who celebrate will be gathered around a tree, creating memories and reliving memories.
May your Christmas week be filled with Joy.
Eric Rhoads
PS: If you’re not feeling in the Christmas spirit, find someplace with some Christmas music and decorations. We make a point to drive through some well-lit neighborhoods at night, and though we show up at our place of worship most Sundays, we love the Christmas music this time of year, and we’ll be there Christmas Eve. It’s a time to be part of a bigger family, where everyone is welcome.
We have some people very close to us who will be trying to pull some joy out of their Christmas this year, because of a lost child, and a lost father and grandpa. If you’re experiencing this, you are in our thoughts and prayers. It’s hard to be filled with joy at times like this, but it’s my hope that you find some joy in the memories found in your family traditions.
And may God Bless you Eric for the blessings you bring and the voice of Jesus and HIS hope through your own ministry..ART.
Thanks for you
Dear Eric,
I’ve been reading your Sunday Coffee for a few years now. I’ve enjoyed it very much, and your wisdom and your emphasis on Christ and His influence on your life. I’m a widow now for 10 years, so I’ve enjoyed your insights on the passing of your father. I’ve been a painter in oils since 1999. During Covid, I appreciated your organization of Realism Live and appreciation that you organized the other methods employed in making art. I turned 80 on November 1 but I had a fall that broke my right arm so badly that I had to have a new shoulder, so I am unable to paint or draw till I recover my range of motion. I look back on the days when I learned to paint from a master painter and think of her and thank God that she came into my life. She is now pass away in 2016. She is missed so much. She had such an influence on many people who desired to paint. Her paintings hang in the White House and other countries. Your influence has helped so many people as did my teacher (Libby Berry) to people who may never thought they could paint. Merry Christmas, Eric and your family.
totally in AGREEMENT
Hi, Eric!
Thanks so much for writing this! It made me pause and think about all the fond memories I have of the Christmas Holiday with family. I grew up in the Midwest, and one of the best memories I have is how we would all sit around and play board games. It was too cold to go outside most days, so to pass the time with all the relatives, we would have fun, laughing together over all those games. There were those who always tried to cheat, and others who won just about every game somehow…multiple generations having fun around the table for hours.
Cookie cutters are also special because they remind me of my grandmother. To hold one of those simple little cookie cutters, knowing her hands held them for so many years…priceless.
Thank you, Eric
Thanks for sending your thoughts about Christmas. What you had to say made me think about Christmases past verses present. The past is filled with great memories. Present memories are, unfortunately, a mixed bag of good and troubling memories. My thought is I need to to work on the good memories.
Dear Eric,
Your article this Sunday, a week before Christmas, was heartwarming! I have Covid as does my husband. Our plans of cooking and shopping and decorating have come to a halt. This may seem depressing, but all of my childhood Christmas ornaments and those my 2 sons made in elementary school were all destroyed in a fire caused by a lightning strike on Good Friday n 2016. My Art friends surprised me that year with beautiful ornaments they had made. As I put them on my tree this year, it filled me with appreciation and gratitude for what we have, not what we have not. I am grateful to you for all you have done for the artists out there who are looking for inspiration and guidance in their quest to learn from some of the best of the best. I am always tempted by all the opportunities you offer, i.e. Plein Air Conventions, Adirondack Workshops, etc.
wishing I could go, especially to Denver, where I lived for 2 yrs. In the 70’s. All the best to you and your family! Merry Christmas! Sally Brydon Booth
It seems (ALMOST) hypocritical that the free thinkers: & non-bondaged citizens of the world can celebrate Christmas this year! The obvious evil alliance between the controllers of China & Russia; with a plan to bring the world to conform to their subjugation is of great concern! And what they can’t seem to comprehend; is that they will ultimately be attempting to annihilate each other! Those in power; do not care about sacrificing their own populace in order to gain world dominance! With Iran; aiding & abetting both! in order to weaken the resolve of freedom-loving countries!
Hi Eric
I am just having my Monday Morning Coffee ( I live in the Southern Hemisphere)
Before I read your Sunday Coffee email I was having a blah humbug Christmas Moment…Letting the commercialising of it all get to me I think . Anyway after Reading thru your column I was reminded of my Christmases past and traditions we had…and also how only the true meaning of Christmas is lost if you let it get lost … We too are yet to have grandchildren but I am grateful for my family and for the times we have together..
Merry Christmas and thank you!
I enjoy your Sunday coffee posts very much. When I did not get them for several weeh=ks (it seemed longer)I missed them. Hope a blessed and merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you, Eric. I think you love the Christmas spirit as much as I do. Merry Christmas 🎄
I always enjoy your good sense and the thoughtful writings that make me slow down and think about how blessed my life has been. I imagine you are a good friend. Thank you
Eric, Thais is wonderful! I’m sitting here, drinking my coffee, and I realize our family traditions are very similar to yours. It really is a small world. Merry Christmas.
Love your columns.
Thank you Eric for keeping us company every Sunday with A coffee or hot chocolate during this Christmas season you hit the nail right on the head, that Jesus is the reason for the season!! Thank you for your uplifting stories! Pray. You and your family peace and joy that only Emmanuel can give! A fellow novice artist. 🙏🏼🇺🇸
God’s Perfect Timing
Written by Marilyn Jacobson
09/30/2021
Gary was diagnosed with stage five prostate cancer, June 2021, shortly after being hospitalized for Covid induced pneumonia. When Gary was told that his cancer was likely terminal, he said he wasn’t afraid of dying, but didn’t want to have terrible pain. He told me he was surprised he didn’t feel depressed about the diagnosis, even though he had struggled with depression much of his life. A Hormone medication was prescribed to suppress the prostate’s production of testosterone. He received home health and palliative care. We discussed hospice as an option with a Palliative Nurse and the Home Health Chaplain.
The first six months Gary had a great response to treatment, although he was miserable with hot flashes due to the hormone treatment. His care was difficult as he was on oxygen the first 4 months. He had physical therapy, and would get a little stronger and then have a setback and he never seem to regain much strength. In spring 2022, Gary learned his cancer had started growing again. His PSA was rising, nearly doubling every month or so. However, he was feeling fairly well and decided not to start chemotherapy as we had scheduled a Jacobson family reunion on June 11 which Gary very much wanted to attend.
He was hospitalized in May with a recurrent UTI. After treatment in a TCU near our home Gary was discharged June 9 and he was able to attend the Jacobson family reunion two days later, the first example of God’s perfect timing.
The family reunion was great. GARY was tired, but was able to enjoy nearly 6 hours of visiting, laughing and storytelling and eating with his sisters, nieces nephews, our three children, and two of our grandchildren. Before eating, we sang table grace in four-part harmony, a wonderful Jacobson family tradition. The reunion was hosted by our children, and everyone contributed to the potluck. Gary gave a little talk at the end, and encouraged the family to continue having family reunions, though he probably wouldn’t be attending the next one, considering his diagnosis. “And if you don’t have one within two years l
I’ll come back to haunt you” he said, then he laughed. He kept his sense of humor to the end.
Gary was hospitalized again the end of June, for a recurrence of the UTI infection which had spread to his blood. This infection was a MRSA, as the infection had become resistant to treatment. GARY seem to get better on I.V. antibiotics. He had a medical procedure, then was discharged to Sholom Nursing Home TCU for therapy, with a goal of returning home, if he could regain enough strength. When Gary realized he was too weak and in too much pain for rehab at Sholom TCU, he requested Hospice. That night after he kissed me, he prayed, “God, I’m ready when you are.“
Gary was in hospice care 10 days. The antibiotic was stopped, Gary lost his appetite, and generally failed quickly. Our son Eric and daughter-in-law Mary returned from Florida to be with us and provide support. Our daughter Pam visited us daily. Gary’s brother Ron and his wife Connie, who had been unable to attend the family reunion, came to visit Gary. Before leaving to return to Omaha, Ron sang “Amazing Grace” with the insert “The Chains Are Broken, I’ve Been Set Free” to Gary. Afterwords Gary asked “is that Ron?” At times Gary laughed a soft “heh, heh, heh” and when asked, described his hallucinations, “a cat ran into the bathroom, a bird flew over your head Mare, a cat has (counting) 12 wheels. He must be fast! Mare, get my shotgun!” “Why?” “The coyotes are coming.” I said, “tell them to go away.” Gary said, “Go away.” We all laughed when Gary described what he was seeing. We were thankful the hallucinations didn’t distress him, that they amused him.
The final six days Pam, Eric and I took turns sleeping overnight on the recliner in Gary’s room. One night I prayed “God, I hate to be impatient, but…” God knew I was ready to let Gary go. The hospice nurse told us the dying person needs to hear four things from the family: I love you, I’m sorry, I forgive you, goodbye. The next day I told Pam and Eric that I knew Steve said goodbye to Dad, and I said goodbye. Eric said, “I said goodbye.” We both looked at Pam who said, “well, if a person had some privacy….” Without a word Eric and I got up and left Pam alone with Gary.
Two days later Gary died. Mary, Pam and I were with him, Pam and I were each holding a hand, and Mary gently rubbed his feet when he took his last breath. Then we three women hugged each other and broke into tears. Within a minute my phone rang. It’s an unusual ring, which sounds like an old horn on a Viking boat. Mary said, “Gary is being announced in to heaven!” and we all broke into uncontrollable laughter. I went to answer the phone and said “I bet it’s Steve,” and it was! He and his wife Sonia had just arrived home from a hot exhausting 5 hour drive across the Arizona, and Steve felt compelled to phone Gary. First Steve dialed Gary’s phone which was at our home, (as Gary breathed his last breath) then he phoned me. Eric came into the room a short time later, so all my children were present at Gary’s death. This was God‘s perfect timing!
Later I had to explain to Steve why we were all laughing when Gary had just died. Steve said it sounded like a party when I answered his phone call as everyone was laughing!
I suppose in a way it was a party. Gary had finished his journey and was in the presence of God where there are no more tears, no sickness, no suffering, no pain. Hallelulia!
I’m sharing this story with friends and family, as an encouragement and testimony to my experience. Please share it as you wish.
Marilyn Jacobson
I and my siblings went to a parish school in Chicago. Each grade sang at a Christmas Day Mass, and I also sang at Midnight Mass. So my parents went to at least 3 Masses that day. There was pagentry with placing the baby Jesus is the crèche on the altar. Often a lot of snow to drive through. We opened piles of gifts after all those Masses. Then the work began to fix Christmas dinner! Aunts and Uncles and lots of cousins gathered together. Happy times!
Thanks for your memories that made my memories come alive. Merry Christmas and a great New Year to you and yours.
Thank you Eric. I enjoy your Sunday morning coffee articles. This weeks article was meaningful and helpful to me as I just lost my Mom last week. I think people forget sometimes to reflect on their memories that bring smiles and happiness in their hearts. Hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you and your family and Ll those you hold dear, Eric. It is the most wonderful time of year for family and friends. Many thanks for sharing your coffee with us every Sunday – it’s a great and treasured gift. It means far more than you could ever imagine.
Love this, Eric. I, too, read the Christmas story (now to my grandkids) before we open presents. I have lots of ornaments made by my kids in the 80s. I still hang them, and their kids get a kick out of them. And my Manger set is one my parents bought 70 years ago!
Blessings on you and yours this Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you for all your wise words.
God bless.
I love Christmas, and I love your post! Christmas trees are like time machines. I have a few vintage ornaments that were my grandmother’s, and I kept collecting vintage ornaments from the 20s-50’s, so have 8 bins full of them now! I also have other ornaments that my Mom made, and my daughter. I’m officially banned from buying Christmas stuff, but I just bought 5 vintage rhinestone snow flakes last week 🙂
I too have a family memory tree. Each year I would buy ornaments that fit each person. A train for my son, Santa and a computer for my husband, and a baker with all his goodies for me. It is loaded with our lives for one is certain and that is change. May your year be full of wonderful changes and new possibilities.
Fellow artist,
Ronda Morgan, Wichita Falls,Tx
Wonderful story! I am glad to learn that you are preserving the precious tradition of Christmas by sharing the gift of Christ.
Merry Christmas and God bless!