As I sit on the red cushions of the old wicker couch on this long Texas porch, the heat of the cushions feels great on my travel-weary back. My sleepy eyes are squinting at the intensity of the morning light, which is casting a yellow glow on the side of my art studio in the back of the property. The dogs keep jumping up on my lap, then leaping off to chase squirrels. I’m happy to be home after four months away in the Adirondacks.
Life of Regret
Recently I had a discussion with a friend who has lived a life of regret. In fact, he was sad and pathetic because every time we meet, he tells me about all the things he could have done but was too afraid to do. He was tremendously talented, but his fear of failure destroyed his life. Instead of using his amazing talents in Hollywood, he locked himself in his house for 30 years after he did not get a job he felt he deserved.
Stuck in the Mud
We all have experiences we regret, and many of us struggle with clinical depression, but every time I talked with my friend over many years, he brought up the job he almost got, and then told me all the reasons he did not really deserve to get it. He was stuck in his own mud.
What if he had tried one more time, or two more, or 20 more? What’s the worst that could have happened? Instead, he stopped trying.
How Do You Define Success?
We all define success differently. Some want jets and mansions, others want a great family, others want adventure. Yet to gain the success we want, we have to overcome fear.
I was afraid to ask out the most smart and beautiful woman I ever saw. But I eventually overcame my fear and ended up married to an amazing woman who gave us three wonderful kids. What if I had never overcome my fear?
Success is defined by your willingness to step out in spite of your fear in order to accomplish your dreams.
I’ve met some of the wealthiest and most successful people in the world, including presidents, vice presidents, billionaires, astronauts, sports heroes, and people who run giant industries, celebrities in film, TV, radio, and music.
Funny thing .. they are just regular people in every way. Some I’ve met did not even seem all that smart. But the one thing they all have in common is that they don’t let the fear control or stop them. They persist in spite of their fear, in spite of their failure.
What if I fail?
So what?
What if I look bad?
So what?
What if I lose everything?
So what?
Success in life, in work, in career, hobbies, and family is always about overcoming fear. We fear working harder, we fear failure, we fear ridicule, and we fear rejection.
What do you fear?
What could you do if you had no fear?
In what ways is fear controlling or preventing you?
Though there are many habits and abilities that impact success, fear is the one that holds us back most.
Have the courage to look fear in the face and say, “YOU DON’T CONTROL ME.”
You can do this. I know you can.
No matter your stage in life, old or youthful, you don’t want to look back at what you did not try because of your fear.
People who change the world have fear. But they step out anyway.
When will you overcome your fear? When you do, you’ll have newfound freedom, and greatness will emerge.
Eric Rhoads
PS: Happy Halloween! I’ll be out tonight, costume on, begging for candy. Maybe someone will mistake me for a large overgrown kid pretending to be an ancient being from another time 🙂
I thought it would be nice to bring you up to date on my world and all the things we’re working on.
- I’m doing a PAPIPA … Paint a Pumpkin in Plein Air challenge online. Paint a pumpkin from life … any style, carved or not, and post it on your social media with the hashtag #PAPIPA and tag @EricRhoads. The winner will get a full ticket to our REALISM LIVE online virtual conference, which is coming up a week from Wednesday. The second and third runners-up will get their choice of any video we’ve produced at Streamline.Art.
- Last week we released a new video by Mary Garrish, called The 6 Elements of Design. She is very impressive and a great landscape teacher. She’s simplified things to six elements, and it really makes painting easier to understand.
- TODAY (October 31) is the last day to enter your paintings into the monthly PleinAir Salon. You can win $15,000 and the cover of PleinAir Magazine, and there are $33,000 in annual prizes. Our esteemed Judge is Patricia Terwilliger, co-owner of Jones & Terwilliger Gallery.
- This Tuesday, November 1, Is the last day to get the pre-release price on the new Camille Przewodek video, A Colorist’s Guide to Painting. As you know, I studied with Camille, and she changed my life when it came to understanding color.
- Speaking of Realism Live, there’s $750 in bonus gifts if you get signed up by November 7. Oh, and I do an “If You Don’t Love the First Day, You Don’t Pay Guarantee.” The lineup is amazing, including Quang Ho, Jacob Collins, and dozens of others.
- I’m always signing artists who are hot. In fact, we don’t sign anyone unless they are the best of the best, or if they are a hot up-and-comer. This upcoming weekend we’ll be releasing a new video from Kyle Buckland. Keep an eye out for that.
Have a great Halloween.
Eric great words of wisdom coming from a successful artist , teacher, lecturer and so much more. I recently retired and started painting again. The desire to paint that I once had is back. I never thought that would happen and it feels good. Like spending time with an old friend. Thanks !
Thx Eric! I needed that!
Thank you so very much for your encouragement…
This is a great newsletter which covers a reoccurring challenge among many people. Thank you for the reminder and I will be sharing. Who knows what could happen?
Have you read “what do you do with a chance?” by Kobe Yomada? It’s a children’s book with the message of not giving up. It was read in church this morning. Hearing that in church and then reading your conversation made me think about my own fears of failure. I’m starting a new chapter in life as a retiree and it’s overwhelming to in many ways, especially meeting new people, becoming a better artist, and starting a new small business. I’ve been struggling with fear but I know (hope) I have many years ahead and I don’t want to regret not having taken a chance at the beginning of this phase. Thanks for your meaningful words!!
Thank you. As always your words are inspirational!
Hi Eric, I’ve been following you for a couple of years — have attended the Watercolor Live in last two years — learned so much as I just entertained the idea of starting watercolor in November 2019 —and I have signed up for 2023. I really enjoy your Sunday 2nd Cup of Coffee! – just the title makes me take a breath and exhale! I gently drift into a bit of reflection. I love your first descriptive paragraphs. Maybe you could publish all your Sunday musings?! However, I am still a “beginner” at watercolor. As you did, I bought out the store, but did not and still have not carved out enough time to paint. A month ago, I overcame my fear of painting with people and signed up for a local one day “Grand Prix” painting day/competition for all levels – Sept 3, in a week! I am putting myself out there to plein air paint, and apparently have to display my work at the end of the 3 hours of painting allotted time, as does everyone else. A big step, but glad I’m taking the plunge… Thanks, ,again for your Sunday emails — they are much appreciated. I live in Vancouver area of British Columbia… I have been following Gabriel Stockton for two years, and actually bought one of Francesco Fontana’s paintings in the Watercolor Live auction. Thomas Schaller is also a favourite, as is Michael Solovyev. I am motivated to get into painting more instead of listening to Zoom lessons. I want to be better prepared for Watercolor Live in January. Oh, and I loved your 365 days of Zooms meeting so many world renown artists – opened up a whole new world for me. I just started painting in Spring 2020 – onward! Thanks again, Eric…. you are an amazing person with all the energy you bestow to others. Enjoy relaxing in the late summer evenings! Twilight is one of my favourite times of the day. Cheers, Joan
That was just a great piece of advice.
I was asked to be the speaker at a porcelain art club last week.
I had been asked before but put it off and after being asked to a meeting it was discussed that I had been approached so said I would do it.
I was a bit nervous as I am usually fairly quiet and not used to speaking but spent a lot of time thinking about what I would say and had a lot of material prepared. I woke at 4am the morning of the meeting and laid there thinking about my life. How as a child I used to draw, the best present I ever got as a kid was a pack of 72 Derwent coloured pencils and how I came top in art at high school before working in an office. I married and had my children young. I saw a friend’s china painting in my early 40s and thought I will do that one day. I was meant to as I saw an ad in the local paper for classes. My children had grown up and left so I went and loved it. I won so many prizes. About 15 years ago I took up watercolour and stopped painting on china. As I laid there I thought about all the friends I had made through my love of art and the travels, two to Europe and one to Tasmania with a painting group that I would never have done but for my art. I took along photos, paintings, details of my travels and so many said how much they enjoyed it. One friend rang me to say I have always been quiet and in the background, how proud she was of me and how the real me stood out. Being involved in art has helped me through lots of tough times too as I say I go to La la land when I paint. We are just so fortunate to be able to be involved in something we love.
So very true!!! Love you coffee talks.
Oh my Gosh! Do you KNOW ME? Thanks You!! Maybe I will just go forth and do something that terrifies me. I WILL do it . . .. tomorrow :-))
So glad I came across this. I’ve been in a rut for over eleven years, perhaps a lot longer. Bad decisions I made in the past regarding relationships, and genuine bad luck in regard to career and work made me, even unknown to myself loose hope and even belief in myself and my abilities. Fear though, has also played a huge part, even when I didn’t realise it was fear, the unwillingness to take risks because of the fear of failure, with all the other fear factors you outlined. Thank you for the article, we first need to admit our fears and identify them, to then fight them and overcome them.
Thank you so much Eric. This has helped me immensely. Without a doubt fear is definitely my worst enemy. I will reflect upon your words often. Thank you again. I enjoy you as a person and it is good to know you.
Eric, I love you man because you are always positive. That is the way it should always be.
My fear right now is I do not know where I will be living. I am renting and the house is for sale. I have health issues that appeared since dec. of last year….this is never out of my mind as I am alone and family only in another country. So this is serious fear for me. I am not young.
I have stopped everything I did, I see the sun today and would have enjoyed the garden which is not for me anymore…my cat needs his balcony…anyway…fear.
Great sunday message! So What that is a most apt phrase. I once lost a million$ in 30 days on an ill advised business decision. Thems the lumps from which you have ato shake your head , have a good laugh and move on. In order to lose the million i had to have made that previously and many times since. Loss is a fact of life and business, fear is only there tot oresent one with options and alternatives, After which you do what you feel is right in the circumstance. Fear is usefull only in so much as it provides caution. I used to fly into europe with only enough money to make it out of the airport. [art selling trips] i never failed to come back without money and a load of experiences. At 67 i still live that way.
I constantly run into the moaners and groaners who have done nothing with their lives, taken no risks and climbed no mountains. It was their choice mostly done through fear!
Love your SUNDAY MORNING. thank you for much needed reminders in daily life. Yes, life is a struggle, but we are truly blessed to be here and have such freedom to direct our life 🥰
This is one of the best columns you have ever written. I would like to know more about other fears you have overcome, in addition to asking out your future wife.
Best regards,
The old saying, …FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real…is as true today as ever! Thanks for your reminder…
This reminded me of my favourite quote: ““What if I fall ? Oh but my darling, what if you fly ?” – Erin Hanson
I’ve been enjoying Sunday Morning for a number of years ! I’m never disappointed and watch for it every week. Thank you for all you do !
What an excellent writing price Eric. So many truths – I commend you for helping others. Great advice
Thank you for this awesome reminder. I’m going through some difficult times right now and reading this is soothing and encouraging. It is good to read, even if tackling my fears has become a personal growth strategy I developed after recognizing how such amazing and life transforming things happen every time I decide to tackle a specific fear. For instance, I don’t usually do anything special to celebrate my birthday but in February 2017, I decided I could do something for my 40th birthday and decided to face a fear as a way to celebrate. I choose the fear of painting and went at a 2-hour paint event activity. I felt so much anxiety in the first hour but talked myself into breathing deep and relaxing. In the 2nd hour, I realized I was actually starting to enjoy the experience. Quickly, painting became a form of expression that allowed me to become aware of and understand deep emotions I wasn’t able to access before even in therapy. It also became an amazing way to connect with others but also with my true self. It became a true passion which has changed my life in huge ways. There are other amazing ways that facing specific fears has transformed me for the best. I now consider fear as a caring friend that is there to indicate real danger when it’s the case but most of the time, it indicates where to dig to discover the treasure of growth and fulfilling life changes.
Thank you Eric. Just what I needed to hear today.
You are such an inspiration! I have no fear! I have learned that you restrict yourself if you let fear control you. I have had many beautiful experiences in the ocean because I overcame my fear of being eaten by a shark! I really only thought about this one time, and then I came to realize that I would miss all the beauty and wonder that God gave us if you have fear.
God bless you Eric Rhodes🙏
Francie Tucker
Very timely reminder Eric. Thank you.
A wonderful tribute ❤ to a wonderful man. Dean was a beautiful soul. You and he were blessed to know each other.
When I think of fear I think of resistance and the book The war of art a truly worthwhile read!
I spent the $97 on the Mary Garrish tape. Can I return it after less than one day. It is not at all what I expected in describing the 6 elements of designing a great painting.
As always, words of wisdom. Eric you don’t believe how much your words impacted my life. Thank you
Hi there – and good morning! I don’t see the link to the cloud painting demo? Thank you for your Sunday morning messages, they are a pleasure to read.
I tried to access some of the material by inputting my name and email address, but I received a message saying that this email had been removed or blocked because a message had been flagged as spam or abuse. This is an error, and I don’t know how it could happened but it was certainly not from me. Can you please have someone look into this and correct the records.
I have written previously about this because I received the American Watercolor Weekly newsletter before and then it suddenly stopped coming. I even telephoned Streamline Publishing in Florida and was told that it would be rectified. After my phone call I began receiving the Sunday Coffee emails but have never received the Watercolor Weekly newsletter.
Thank you.
Where is the hyperlink to clouds & sky please ?
I look forward to in person events. Internet where I live is painfully slow, with no streaming capability. Downloads take overnight.
I’m sorry for the loss of your team member, Dean Pickering..
The loss always leaves a gape in our lives..
Thank you for Sunday Morning.