It’s ironic. We spent two weeks to get sun and warmth, but instead got clouds and rain. Today, waking up in Austin, the sun is shining, the temperature is warm, and the glow of golden light greets my morning, putting a big smile on my face.
Last week during the storms, the rain, the dark clouds, and the high winds, everyone was hunkered down, staying inside as much as possible, trying to stay warm and dry. Yet as I looked at the sky from inside, I noticed some giant birds were taking advantage of the high thermal winds, frolicking about like surfers who had found high waves.
Instead of hiding out in a tree, they were soaring more than ever, taking advantage of what the rest of us thought were bad conditions. I could have watched them for hours.
A Call for Help
Last week I received a message on social media from a man who said he’s been watching me for years. He runs a business and asked me for some time so I could offer him some advice. According to him, “I’m amazed at how much you get done and want to know how you do it.” I’ll tell him it’s about growing your wings.
A Mega Yacht
Last week I had the pleasure of being invited to take a ride on a mega yacht owned by one of the wealthiest men in America. We got to know him because his yacht was docked across from the houseboat we were staying on, which he also owned.
Know Thyself
It’s easy to be impressed in a situation like that. Riding on a multimillion-dollar yacht, hearing about his racehorses, his classic sports car collection, his dozens of businesses, some of which are household names, and his jets. It’s also easy to allow yourself to feel small and insignificant for not having accomplished that level of wealth. This man had unbelievable financial success, but did he have wings?
Chasing Wealth
When I was a young business guy, it was great wealth that I wanted. Our society has drilled that into our heads: Success is stuff. Lots of expensive stuff. And I spent years chasing stuff and finding there was never enough; someone else always had more. In comparison to this guy, I could maybe have afforded one chair on his boat. Nothing more.
But that is a dead end game for me. Maybe some people are cut out for it, but it was not until I let go of it that I started to feel my body lift off the ground. It’s when I started to grow my wings. The more I let go, the more I lifted off.
The Magic of Purpose
Wings grow from purpose. And when you grow wings, you begin to lift off. The more purpose you get, the more good you do, the more you reveal your true heart, the higher you will soar.
It’s like the more you give, the more you get. For instance, there is a principle called tithing, meaning giving a percentage of what you earn to do good things. It can also be a percentage of your time. And the more you give, the more you end up getting.
You see, wings are about letting go. We tend to cling tightly to things, to money, to what we have … yet the minute we start letting go of those things, we start to soar.
You won’t find this in business books or books about success, yet it is one of the greatest principles of success.
Purity of Heart
Of course, some try to game the system … meaning they give more just to get more. But that lacks purity of intention, and when it occurs, they will get some lift, but they won’t soar. When your heart is right, when you’re doing things for a grand purpose and making it all about others, your wings will take you to play in the winds overhead.
Chasing Generosity
Once I let go of the foolish idea of chasing wealth for the sake of wealth, and instead chased generosity and the idea that my life needs to be devoted to helping others, the skies opened up, the wings came out, and I’ve been able to soar to do more.
That should be a slogan … Soar to do more.
Goodbye, Self
When we let go of self, when we stop worrying about ourselves and start doing more for others, we’ll be dripping with reward. Your heart will be the happiest it’s ever been — but it can also lead to financial reward if your intent is pure.
Soar More
Last week I talked about happiness and never letting things or others define what makes you happy. But if you can engage others in your life in your bigger mission, you’ll soar more, and you’ll help them soar. For instance, my employees have a bigger purpose knowing that we take 10 percent of our company earnings every year to build a house for the homeless shelter in my town. We’ve built several now, and it changes lives.
Getting Lift
True encouragement will also give you lift. Surround yourself with people who believe in you even when you have doubts about yourself — people who truly can be the wind beneath your wings. We all need that. We can fly without it, but it’s better when you can share it with others who believe in you.
When you grow wings, some will want to help you grow them bigger and help you soar higher, but others will want to cut them off or weigh you down. You have to be willing to embrace those who encourage you and ignore those who want to see you fall.
“Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down.” — Ray Bradbury
Don’t Wait for Perfection
People want to make things perfect before they take a leap, but perfection does not exist. Tiny efforts lead to bigger wings. Find something you can do that will use your dreams to help others, or just jump in and volunteer somewhere. It’s also one of the best ways to overcome depression. You get a rush of dopamine when helping others and when you stop being selfish.
I believe we all have wings, and they will come at the right time. But you can’t wait for them. They are waiting for you.
“Wings are freedom only when they are wide open in flight. On one’s back they are a heavy weight.” —- Marina Tsvetaeva
The Death of Self
If I could do just one thing for my kids to secure their future, it would be to help them understand that selfishness is the road to ruin. Selfish may get you great wealth, but if you want a fulfilling life, it’s about being selfless. The death of self is the beginning of life. It’s taken me decades to learn that and get my own wings.
It’s not about how much I can do, it’s that when I have wind under my wings, and I see that others are benefiting, I cannot do enough. You’ll also find that to be true.
Imagination
Stop being self-focused or career-focused and instead use your imagination to discover how you can leverage your skills and career to help others. Then, and only then, will you truly get your wings.
I wish I had discovered this decades ago. Looking back, others tried to tell me, but I thought I knew better. Still, that resulted in me spending my life learning powerful lessons that made me ready to receive my wings when it was time.
“The man who has no imagination has no wings.” — Muhammad Ali
What about you?
Have you grown your wings?
Are you focused on generosity?
Can you soar more?
When you have wings, all your aches and pains and problems become secondary.
Go soar.
Eric Rhoads
PS: Last week, I received three different e-mails from people who said, “I feel like you wrote this especially for me.” This happens to Laurie and I a lot at church — we feel like the sermon was just for us to hear. Though these Coffees are just life lessons, not sermons, if you know someone you think would enjoy it, or maybe someone struggling to get some wind under their wings, maybe you could pass this along and they will subscribe for free. And if you’re not a subscriber, I hope you’ll consider it.
Today I’m getting on an airplane, but not for business for a change. I’m treating myself to a one-week workshop in painting from masters David Leffel and Sherrie McGraw in Scottsdale. One of my personal deliverables for 2020 is to be a better painter, which excites me, so I’m launching my year with this in mind. Yes, it’s selfish, but it will help me soar in other areas of my life. I’m also signed up to study with another artist later in the year.
I just signed up for your Sunday coffee and decided to read some older posts. This is the first I read, and am inspired and yet still afraid. I am paralyzed by fear. My depression has become so bad that I am having trouble leaving the house. I want to paint. I want to learn. I want to volunteer. But, I am frozen in place . I’m afraid to leave my husband home alone since he has been ill. I hear you and I’m going to fight like hell to beat this fear. I really would like to claim my wings.
I too agree with all said above and know that you are soaring giving so much of your time and knowledge . I have observed that all great artists today are sharing unselfishly because they have worked so hard as we all have and a time comes when we feel the need to share . Artists are never finished learning as you demonstrate by joining in workshops to further your skills. That is the true joy that we as artists share. Thank you for all the fabulous works that you are involved in . I am amazed and pleased and hope that I may contribute in a small way also.
What a great letter! I have found what you said to be true. In giving to others, you are actually giving to yourself. You learn life lessons, you stretch your faith, you grow in loving others, you become more compassionate, and best of all less selfish and self centered. Once you take the focus off yourself, you’re ready to take wings and fly.
I told you
That we could fly
Cause we all have wings
But some of us don’t know why
INXS
Beautiful
This is not the first time I am leaving a comment after reading your Sunday e-mail. I so appreciate what you put out. Giving back is my way to share my passion for painting. I have sold art, but when anyone buys it directly from me, I give that person a “gift painting” or a set of notecards of my paintings. It is my special way to say thank you for having honored me with the purchase. Each time the person is somewhat surprised, but I feel the gift came from my heart and they truly appreciate it. When something is sold through a gallery, I often don’t know the name of the person, so I cannot do the same. I think I set myself free when I decided to retire early, and opt for a smaller retirement income, but wait each morning to start a new piece or work on one I started. Like many others, who have commented, very ofter I feel you wrote what I thought already.
I am truly jealous – David and Sherrie are two of my most favorite artists, years and years ago I subscribed to Southwest Art and always enjoyed seeing their work. I too am taking a workshop… in June, cant wait! It’s time to learn. Thank you for your advice on soaring…I’ll take it to heart!
Love this, Eric! Thanks for writing it. I know that encouragement is one way to help others “get their wings.” I try to do that every day, and you are doing it with your writing.
Eric, Thank you for your column today; it touched joy in my heart! You also made it reverberate in my soul. There are not a lot of people who do that for me. John Pavlovitz is one; you are another. I am grateful beyond belief!! I am an art quilter and volunteer my domestic violence quilts to a Womens’ Shelter for their program and that has been a now-4-year delight in my life. That it touches these women and helps to allow them to express their feelings means a great deal to me. I don’t get personal feedback from them, only a general feedback from the managers. That is enough for me to know that I have made a difference, that my quilts have made a difference. In 2020, I hope to be able to make a greater difference and your column has underscored the path for me. Thank you!!
I just can’t believe how much I needed this reading today, it’s like a light went on in my heart and mind, keep talking to these art centers to offer scholarships, a free class to our elders (of which I am one), so they feel alive again, then maybe volunteer to work with children! I have recently encountered a very debilitating illness but I’ve decided to keep using my voice for the Arts, could be the only thing that saved this crazy good world we live in😊 Thank you Eric Rhoads💖
Thanks again Eric for an inspiring message. You nailed the point. In my small art career, I found more pleasure creating paintings that highlighted others. My first series” A to Z. An Historical survey of Women Artists/ Using the Fruit of a Pear. “. Has been seen by thousands of viewers in various states to bring light upon women artists. This gives me great happiness. My new series:”MOTHERS OF INVENTION/ A Survey of Women Inventors. Which will premiere Sept 18 2020 at Meibohm’s Fine Art Gallery in East Aurora NY is a painting and assemblage series. Telling many wonderful stories of women inventors from the 1700’s to present day. This gives me the most joy.
Thanks. And I look forward to your talks in the coming year.
Amen! You have reached perfection! I wouldn’t change a word!
Amen! You reached perfection! I wouldn’t change a word!
GO HAVE YOURSELF A GREAT TIME! THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND NOURISHING A PRECIOUS PART OF YOURSELF.
I’ve been trying to figure you out for a couple of years: how you seem to be spending tremendous energy in self manifestation: taking expensive painting lessons, trips, dragging in mountains of money. I wondered how you justified your tremendous success. Yet how you also seemed so sympathetic to the human condition; how you loved your family and others so completely. The only thing I could come up with is that you were in fact a tremendously generous and unselfish person. That A LOT of good was (and still is, obviously) flowing out of you, or maybe I should say THROUGH you from Almighty God. I have no idea how much you must be doing for others. Or exactly how you do it. But it must be a staggering amount.
I really don’t think these words adequately express what I feel about you and this article, but I wanted to say something… You really opened up this time. I mean REALLY opened up. I know now for sure I figured right about you, and though that statement might sound like it, this is not intended to be about me in any way. It’s about you, and what a blessing you are to the world. God bless you and yours, Brother. Keep soaring! And keep the good word coming!
Hey Eric, Another nice “cup of Eric’s Coffee.” You’re being the “wind” that helps lots of others soar. I agree that it’s not the amount given (either time or money), it’s the heart it comes from. I find that when I give more with more of the right heart, the art sales grow exponentially, and the giving increases likewise. And the joy follows. Many times the extra income lets my wife and me travel to minister to folks in jail. Come with us some time. May God continue to richly bless you with the joys that come from serving Him.
Good article…I’m wondering what happened to the art cartoon: Art the Artist…I thought it was funny and well done.
Eric, what a clear, insightful message you’ve written here. I’m 83 and can testify to it’s truth. I, too, have learned what matters, and find peace, joy and purpose in seeing ways to serve others and let self die. Of course, those choices bring life! I’m thriving as painter, certainly not financially, but enjoying the experience, growing in skill, and giving meaningful art to family and friends. It’s all good. Let more of self die!
Wow! I can’t like this Sunday Coffee enough. Three years ago I was led to become director of the arts council in our small town in a impoverished area of Mississippi. I get a part time salary for a job that requires full time work. It has been one of the most frustrating and REWARDING things I’ve ever done! Whenever I think it’s time to walk away I see a small glimmer of what we do and I thank God for giving the opportunity to be a part of it. Thanks for all you do Eric!
There’s ego selfish, and that’s what you are talking about, and then there is Higher Purpose selfish. The ego selfish is fearful of not having enough and pursues false goals. Higher Purpose selfish pursues true goals, found in the heart, so one CAN give more with authenticity and naturally wants to. Taking advanced painting classes doesn’t sound at all ego-selfish to me since it is in your heart to expand your skills, which you will use in your expansion of the Plein Aire movement and more. Thank you for all you’ve done to soar with great wings that have helped so many. I hope to join you someday plein aire.
YES, please, compile Sunday Coffee into a book.
Great nudge Eric, and such wisdom. A great way to begin 2020. Let’s all soar in our own way.
I love sharing, especially when I’m painting on location and someone stops by to watch. If someone stays a while and is very interested, I’ ask if they want to give it a try and sometimes they do. I find children are the biggest takers and sometimes don’t want to leave. Perhaps it’s the beginning of a new journey to enhance there life.
I love hearing your taking a class with David and Sheri. I took a wonderful workshop with David way back in the early 80’s. We did a still life, I bought his demo and love it and it hangs in my studio. It’s so wonderful to be able to look and see his brushwork and approach. The canvas is perhaps a third covered, since every stroke was thought about and then painted. David probably doesn’t remember me, but he’s made a huge impression on my career. Please give him my best.
I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Sheri, but have watched her demos and learned so much. She’s amazing. Enjoy the experience and it’s not selfish when you give it away, which I know you will.
Enjoy.
Grace Schlesier
Well….this has sort of left me speechless, and tearful. Whilst I am not a materialist…except for art paraphernalia….and I have had the privilege of teaching art for 10 years….I don’t allow time for me especially to paint outdoors which is where I know my heart lies, but my confidence fails me…due to many factors, but
I have so wanted to have the confidence to take people suffering with depression en plein air with me , but lack the conviction because it’s new to me so I’m learning this myself, so fear I couldn’t help others….maybe I should just wear my heart on my sleeve and share this with them? I’m particularly interested in helping war veterans with ptsd but don’t want to set them up to feel failure….
This has really hit a chord Eric it’s so beautifully written….it’s too good to let it disappear into the ether !
Write a book please …so we can dip into it and enjoy your generous way with words of wisdom.
Thanking you so much ❤️🎨
Eric, this is one of your best essays. I read them every Sunday and have forwarded them to others.
I’ve painted since in my early thirties and I’m now 91 and still enjoy the process and can still see improvement in my work after all these years. We never learn it all, do we? Painting has been a genuine blessing for me. I’ve just finished a book of my essays, after novels and a memoir. Using our creativity is life altering and has led to “old age” in my case.
Eric, keep up the good work. Enjoy your trip also. You may improve your painting skills but I doubt if you can improve much as a human being. Not flattery – just telling it like it is. LOL
May God continue to bless you and your wife.
In case you look up my website, I’ve neglected it recently but I have my age as an excuse.
Just what I needed today to get 2020 off to a good start; thank you! And, having attended a few of David and Sherrie’s workshops, lectures and studio tour, I know you will be “soaring” with renewed painting excitement. Often I review my class notes from David’s tutelage before starting a new work.. it takes a while for some concepts to sink in — as in “when one needs a teacher, one will appear…”
Thank you, Eric, again and again.
Along those lines, I just re-read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom and I recommend it either as a re-read or a new read to your audience. Morrie was full of life, compassion, caring and love. What a great teacher he was.
Thank you once again. I look forward to this page every week. Sometimes it takes a week to get to it but then I have something to look forward to. It isn’t so much about our art but who we are that gets me. And what we give to others and that is what that feeds our soul and then spills out onto our art. I think our optimism and satisfaction at helping others is what makes our paintings “sing” and gives them a spirit. And it’s exciting that I have something to do the rest of my life that I love; with a pastel stick, a paint brush or making a supper for a shut in or helping someone with a garden. It’s all good and helps to balance out the bad that tries to get in.
Hi Eric,
I enjoy your Sunday Coffee. I believe we are here to spread our love. I also believe that includes loving ourselves. I don’t think that taking a painting workshop is selfish. I think it is self-care which we all need to be refreshed and able to go out and be of service to whoever, whenever and however we can.
Eric, I thank you from the bottom of my heart as I’ve always known God has given me the gift of art for a greater good, perhaps to be his hands and feet to make people understand that need to love one another. I’ve been struggling on how to use my art to serve other besides selling art.
You cannot find two people more capable of making you soar even higher. I have studied with both quite a few times, and I feel it has made me a better person as well as artist. I am happy that you are doing this because I know you will ‘pay it forward’. You, as well as David and Sherrie, make the world a better place.
I always look forward to Sunday’s to read Coffee with Eric articles, I’ve never read a disappointing one. Today though I had to send a comment which I never do, this was one of his best I’ve read. Loved it, we always need to be reminded at times and they can be very valid lessons to learn from the article if one is not inclined to soar and want to spread the love. Thank you for writing this lovely article, and for all you do to inspire people to come out of their comfort zone.
After reading Sunday morning coffee for several months now ,I think IAM becoming a Rhoads scholar!! Love all the advice and insights into life issues , plein air events,etc. Thanks for all you do ,can’t wait for the next coffee time!!!
Thank you for writing and sharing this, Eric!
I saw a sign on a church billboard last week that said, “Don’t count your days…make your days count.” Your messages inspire a lot of people just like the billboard did for me. Keep up the great work that you do for so many people.
Wonderful talk, and yes, I think it was written just for me at just this time.