It’s quiet and peaceful around the house. One of our kids is home from college; the others will show up by Thanksgiving day. And soon, the house will be filled with cheer and laughter as the holidays begin and visitors begin to arrive from other places. It will be one giant slumber party. And then the house will be quiet again, one week from today.

Thanksgiving Fits

As a child, Thanksgiving and Christmas were my two favorite holidays. I loved them because it was a gathering of family, time to run around like crazy with my cousins, time to see people we only saw at holidays.

But some Thanksgivings stand out as overly dramatic … like the time something upset me and I hurled my plate of food across the room out of anger. I remember my aunt saying, “That kid is spoiled and needs to be punished.” She was right. I had a bad temper as a child. 

Most disagreements were about which football game to watch or which team to root for. If there was political discord, I don’t remember much of it. But this Thanksgiving may be different. 

Wounded

This year, there are a lot of hurt feelings and wounded people who did not get their way in the election, feeling as though anyone who voted for the President-elect must be out of their minds. Of course those who did vote for him were feeling the same way about his opponent’s supporters. This is probably what it was like during the Civil War. Families became divided and Thanksgiving dinners became unbearably difficult.

Some families will gather and celebrate their win together, with everyone in agreement, but most families will have some members who are in disagreement.

Disagreement is healthy. Discussion is healthy. But as a nation, we’ve become so deeply divided, more than I can remember in my lifetime. 

Will you allow it to divide your family?

We’re all responsible adults, and we have all made up our minds based on what we believe is best for our country. Some may be critical of where you got your news, and wonder whether the full story was told, but we each have choices to listen to or read the sources we trust. And though a friendly, spirited debate can be fun, it is unlikely anything you say will change the minds of others. Most of us stay stuck on our decisions.

Family is the most important asset any of us have. Even though you may only connect with crazy Uncle Harry or insane Aunt Martha or only see your wayward brothers or sisters once a year, we should embrace our time together. Our parents or grandparents would want it, and to me there is nothing more precious than when I have all my kids at home on the holidays. And if I can see cousins, aunts, uncles, and close friends, it’s a bonus.

Who will you be this Thanksgiving?

Will you take the high road, and instead of rubbing salt in tender open wounds, be respectful and avoid bringing it up? 

Will you choose to be mean or vicious or get even? Or will you embrace family for the sake of family? Siblings don’t always need to fight.

Consider taking the high road. Maybe avoidance of certain topics is the best way to keep the waters calm. Instead, plan some fun things like games. Maybe pull out old family pictures to reinforce the things you used to have in common.

Holidays are about creating memories, preferably good ones. Not memories of people blowing up and storming out.

If you’re disappointed in the outcome of the election, ask yourself if your family members treated you badly when your team was in control for the past cycle. Were they treating you with respect even though they were disappointed? Will you do the same this time?

It starts with treating others the way you want to be treated.

We never know what lies ahead. With talk of WW III,  family members present this Thanksgiving may not be with us again. And we can never predict who will survive another year. Don’t look back wishing you had connected on a deeper level or regretting that you battled instead of being loving.

Remember, Love conquers all. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: We’re putting a basket in the center of our Thanksgiving table. Every phone goes into the basket and does not come out during dinner, and ideally, not for hours after. We want people engaged with one another, forcing them to interact, play games, or do something other than looking at social media. Let’s all seek ways to engage more, and find common ground.

PS2: I decided to create a day to help artists (painters, photographers, crafters) with their 2025 planning and to give them the core skills needed to have a great 2025. I announced it, and hundreds have already signed up. HOLD THE DATE, January 10, all day. You can learn more about it at www.streamlineartevents.com/marketing.

PS3: Retreat update: My February WINTER ESCAPE art retreat in St. Augustine is about 52% sold out already. I’m guessing it will sell out between now and Christmas. https://winterartescape.com/

My Adirondack spring retreat in early June is almost sold out. Still a few seats left. www.paintadirondacks.com

My fall retreat has only 22 seats left. This year it’s in Dore County, Wisconsin (which is stunningly beautiful). www.fallcolorweek.com

PS4: Like most, we have a Black Friday sale for the videos we’ve produced. Check it out at www.painttube.tv. 

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A slight chill is in the humid Texas air. My eyes are squinting as the warm yellow sun pops up over the distant purple hill, turning it more pink. Light is splashing everything, and the air is starting to warm up a bit as I sit here on my old wicker couch on the back porch.

Playing Coach

One of the most fun things I get to do is coach younger people who want to become successful. I love sharing any wisdom I may have accumulated — acquired through decades of work, decades of mistakes, and decades of pain.

Instant Success

Living in a fast-paced Instagram-and-SnapChat world, all the gurus are online sharing 90-second sound bites of wisdom and selling success courses. It’s really no different than when I first craved success; only the delivery method is different. I listened to tons of cassettes, and later CDs, learning from the hot gurus at the time. Of course I’ve attended dozens, maybe hundreds, of seminars, classes, and events in my career. In fact, I was at the first, or one of the first, Tony Robbins events in Fort Lauderdale when he first launched his career, and at another event he held so small, there were only 30 of us in the room. He of course has led a charge to train millions, and his content has evolved and is better than ever. 

Every guru has something great to offer, and I always encourage young people to pick some that resonate with them and double down to buy everything their preferred experts offer, attend everything they can, and formulate their own ideas for what fits their personality. An education is a great value at any cost.

Rarely Spoken

There are some things I rarely hear success gurus talk about, yet they are just as important as anything they have to offer, if not more. If I were to try and sell or market these things, they’re not sexy enough, yet they are just as powerful when combined with the tools and ideas being taught by others.

Success Takes Many Forms

Success isn’t all about business, it’s about living a successful, exciting, and rich life. Business or financial success is only a small piece of it, and it’s overrated if it interferes with your having a rich life in other ways. If you’re miserable operating your business or job, working so hard that you don’t have a life outside it, being so obsessed that it kills your relationships, then you’re not a success. Success is about balance in all parts of your life. Business or work or finance is only a fraction. What about family success, spiritual success, marriage or relationship success, health success, mental success, hobby success? If you lost your job or took away your business, what would you have left?

Competitive Success

Someone once asked me about my competitors and why I tend to do so much better than they do. It made me pause and explore the deep crevices of my mind. After all, every time I turn around, someone is taking something we’ve developed and launching their own version with the intent of building their own business. I can’t blame them, but they are going about it all wrong. I’ll share how they can crush me. (By the way, we honor our competitors — there is room for us all, and they too do good things.)

Start Here

I once met a wise man who had spent his life in advertising, handling some giant accounts. When I’m around wise people, my curiosity takes over and I try to glean as much as possible from their decades of wisdom. He reinforced something worth repeating. “Make sure your product is the finest in the market, so good that it’s difficult for others to even come close when they copy you. So good that it solves a giant problem for the user. It has to be exceptional. And ideally, you have something no one else has, and when they copy you, you have something else ready that’s even better and more unique.” 

This is a killer business principle, often overlooked. But it really applies to success in life. What can you do to be the best friend for others, someone who steps up and is exceptional to help the people around you? What can you do that goes above and beyond? How can you be the best mom, the best son or daughter, the best brother, the best friend? How can you be more exceptional and give them what they need more than others?

But that’s only a small piece of the puzzle. Almost anyone can figure that out. But is there one most important thing..

As I ponder my successes and failures, I’ve discovered success is the opposite of what most people will tell you. A mentor of mine once said, “The key to making money is to not be emotional about what you’re selling,” yet I think the opposite is true for me. I am emotional. I’ve always told my team that we do what we love, we never pick anything we don’t love. As a young man I was passionate about radio, so I ended up founding a radio industry trade magazine (which I still own). I had a chance to add other magazines to build my business, which would have been practical,  but I resisted. I did not want to do magazines about auto parts or dentistry, because I did not care. I believe people can tell when you’re in it for the money versus being in it for passion. Plus, why spend your life doing something you don’t love? That can feel more like prostitution. Life is too short to focus only on money. 

Using Failure to Change Lives

Discovering art for myself, and moving into art, was one of the best things I ever did. Thankfully, I had horrible experiences learning. I had instructors tell me to give up, that I was not cut out for art. I persisted, but I watched friends get discouraged and drop out. But because it was hard for me and others, I have spent my life passionately solving that problem so it would never happen to anyone else. As a result I was able to help more people than ever because they could sense that I understood them. People respond when they see that you care deeply, that you’re not faking it, and when you are more about them than you are about yourself. 

Convincing Commitment

When the pandemic started, I created a show and hosted it daily, seven days a week for seven months, and five days a week since then. The show has had almost 17 million views since we started. Yet when the pandemic was over, people told me, “You should cut back to one day a week,” to which I responded, “Anybody can do one day a week, but doing five days a week shows commitment.” This is where sacrifice and commitment comes in. To be a success, you have to make personal sacrifices. People are always reading you and your intentions, and unless you’re showing up for them in a big way, they can feel your lack of commitment. People often say, “I don’t know anybody busier. I don’t know how you manage to do so much for us, thank you.” How could I possibly back off or do less when people are gaining benefit? When you’re helping others is no time to get comfortable.

Big Isn’t Always Better

Big corporations have come into my space to compete, and they make a lot of money, but audiences can tell the difference between commitment and product. I don’t want to be some big, faceless corporation where people don’t know me and my team. I don’t want to cut costs just to make more money, if it means making a product that’s less than amazing. Though sometimes cost cuts are the harsh reality of business when times are tough, I try to never cut what matters to my family of followers and my team. They are both our family; they are the reason for our success. Big companies don’t think that way, yet they can never figure out why they are not as deeply embraced.

Your Heart Revealed

People can tell your commitment. They can read your heart. The reason I push so hard on things is because I know these things can change people’s lives, and sometimes you have to jump up and down a lot to help them see what they need.

Success isn’t about tactics alone. If you want a rich life, make everything about your heart and how you can reach the hearts of others. If the intent is all financial, people can see it and feel it, just like people can sense whether someone is genuine with them or lying. The intention to solve problems and help others needs to rule all decisions. 

People tell me I’m naive. Probably. I’m sure I’d be a lot wealthier if I cut costs, treated my team badly, and looked for ways to squeeze people and lie to customers. But I could not look at myself in the mirror.

Take This Test

The true test of success … am I truly passionate? 

Am I working hard to help others have a better life? 

Am I changing the world in some way? 

Am I striving to always get better, and give people something new and better? 

Can I sleep at night or look myself in the mirror? 

Am I being honest and sincere with my customers?

Is my family happy with the time they are getting?

Success is an art. It’s the art of designing a well-balanced life, the art of serving others, the art of caring deeply. True success is never about the money alone.

Eric Rhoads

PS1: On Friday I wrapped up a four-day online art training event called Realism Live. It was life-changing for people in 14 countries and 50 states. I’ve been flooded with stories from people about how these events changed their lives, how they did not think they could ever paint but took a leap of faith and discovered how to do it, learning from the best of the best. 

Doing this is a tremendous amount of work for about 30 people. I spend hundreds of hours a year working on it, and I put everything else aside for long days for four weeks a year to make it happen. When it was over, I was invigorated and feeling as if I served people well, giving them more than they expected. I could never charge enough to pay for all the time my team and I devote to this effort. Yet people can tell we’re there for them. It makes it all worthwhile. Ultimately success is about service and sacrifice. 

My next online event is about watercolor, coming this January. It’s called Watercolor Live. 

PS 2: One of my favorite things to do is host painting retreats. I do three of them a year, which takes three weeks of my time and lots of prep work, and I love doing them because I get a week of one-on-one time with new friends, painting together and hanging out together. There is no substitute for one-on-one time with the people you serve. 

I have a new retreat designed to help people escape cold winter weather in February to paint in the sunshine. I’m holding a WINTER ESCAPE in St. Augustine Florida, America’s oldest city (and one of its most beautiful). We will paint the area for an entire week. 

Reward yourself with a Christmas or Hanukkah present, or suggest it to your family. It’s a week of painting, fun, painting at night too, and it’s going to be a blast. But it’s already half sold out after just 30 days since it was announced. 

www.WinterArtEscape.Com

PS 3: The Plein Air Convention also allows me to connect and serve. It’s a big event of about a thousand painters, and is happening in Reno and Lake Tahoe this year. Because it’s returning to the West, it will probably sell out fast. As it stands, we have only 268 seats left. If you wanna go, don’t take a chance of missing it. 

Sketchbook on my lap and watercolors in hand, I’m trying to capture the vibrant pink clouds as the rising sun bounces off their otherwise purple shadows. I’m trying to learn to paint the feel, not just the scene. I think that’s a lifetime goal. Then again, sometimes I forget the goals that are important to me, and then I forget to pursue them.

A Basket of Dreams

Imagine for a moment that you have a basket sitting there in your kitchen. Beside it are some note cards. Every time you have an idea, or a dream about doing something, you write it down on a note card and throw it into the basket.

In my case, I have a document open on my desktop. It’s the basket that all my ideas go into. I have 30 ideas a day, and every one goes in my basket.

Lots of Pitches

My team will tell you that I’ve been known to drive them a little bit crazy. I’ll have an idea, send an e-mail throwing it to the team, and expect them to do it. The problem is that I keep throwing fastballs. They probably get 50 a year, maybe more. They have to catch them, then decide what to do with them next. Do they start working on them, sit on them, or delay them?

Driving them Crazy

They’ve come to realize I’ll throw them a ball, they’ll start working on it, and then a month later, I’ll not even remember throwing it at them or it will no longer be important to me. It’s a giant waste of resources. But when things are working well, they’ll throw them in their basket, then hold a priority meeting with me. “Boss, we’ve got 56 things in the basket. Let’s go through them and decide their priority.” This is how a well-oiled machine works. In the past, I’d ask why something wasn’t done and they would tell me, “Because we’re working on this other project.” No human alive could accomplish it all. 

So is this something you should do?

Let me ask you some questions.

1. What are your five most important priorities to get done before your life ends?
2. What are five places you want to visit before you die?
3. What are five things you’ve always wanted to do but have not yet done?
4. What are the biggest goals of your life? Your career?
   

If you can’t answer these questions, you need to consider a basket and priorities. Include your family too, so they can live the family dreams.

There are a few important steps I think most of us should take.

1. We need a dream basket.
2. About this time of year, we need to pick up the basket, pull everything out of it, and ask the following:
   1. Is this item still important to me? 
   2. If so, is it important to me this year?
3. Anything important this year needs to be given a priority: No. 1, No. 2, etc.
4. Anything big for next year or a few years down the road, you need to ask: “Do I need to be working on it this year?” Some things take years.
5. These priority items need to be your goals. Ideally you should have goals by category…
   spiritual goals, physical goals (weight, diet, workout), mental goals (learning, growing), travel goals, financial goals, etc.
6. Start making a plan now, so you hit the ground running. If you wait till January, you’ll miss the first-quarter goals.

A Giant Mistake

Have you ever been so busy that you don’t have time to work on something that is important to you?

Last year I was so insanely busy that I did not go through my bucket, I did not set my goals, and I did not follow my regular routine. As a result I lacked focus, and because I had no goals, I did not hit them. But I’m sure I didn’t hit them because I didn’t set them. It’s too unstructured for me.

The Big Powwow 

Most years I get my key executives together in a room, and we pound out our priorities and goals for the year. It takes about three days. But we were so busy last year, we did not do it. Therefore I feel like we just drifted this year. 

I’ve discovered that success isn’t about a ton of goals, it’s about one big goal and two smaller ones. Once you knock those out, you can add others. We try to have three goals per quarter, no more.

This year my basket goals are being set, and in a couple of weeks, several of my team will gather for a full week and we will walk away with a budget, our company and department goals, our new initiatives, and our targets. And I’ll also do the same for my personal goals. When you’re shooting into the air, you never know if you hit a target.

I’m so embarrassed that I missed this, and I feel like I threw the year away. Don’t let it happen to you.

Your Mission

You need this, whether you’re on your own, running a business, or running your life or your family. If you don’t set goals, you probably will miss out on the things you want to get done in life. Life goes by quickly. You need to hold yourself accountable to those goals and not let yourself off the hook. Even if you can’t afford them, you need to find a way. You always can. That’s why planning is important.

Staying on Track

Goals are useless unless they are top of mind and in your face at least weekly. If you stay focused on them, you stand a higher chance of hitting them. If you never look at them and forget about them, I guarantee you’ll miss them. So get busy!

Eric Rhoads

PS: Monumental Growth

One year I was hurting. I felt my painting ability was suffering, and I wasn’t getting better. So I sat down and made two goals. One was to be better at landscape painting, and one was to be better at portrait painting. I then made a plan, followed my plan, and I actually made more progress in one year than any year before that.

Starting on Tuesday, I’m helping others around the world achieve their painting goals with my online conference REALISM LIVE. I have about 22 top master artists teaching for four days, and people attending from over 20 countries. Thousands have attended this event. It is, I believe, the fastest way to make great progress, because you are immersed for four days. Then of course you have to apply yourself and practice what we’ve taught you. We’re teaching portraits, figures, drawing, painting, still life, landscape painting, and more. There is time to join by going to www.realismlive.com. But do it before the price increase tonight at midnight. I have a guarantee: If you attend, and don’t feel as though you got enough value on day one for the entire fee, let us know by the end of day one and we’ll refund your money. Join us, even if you think you can’t paint. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

PS 2:
I’m doing a new artists’ retreat in St Augustine, FL, in February. It’s called WINTER ESCAPE (“Escape to Sunny Florida from the Snow and Ice”). It’s already 50% sold out, and I think it could be sold out before Christmas. You can learn more at www.winterartescape.com.

I’m nervous.

In spite of the glowing sun hitting the trees and the cool breeze making the grass sway, in spite of the musical birds nesting in the trees above the back porch, I’m nervous.

I’m not only nervous, I’m anxious.

In spite of my desire to avoid the news cycle and to not become consumed with social media, I’m nervous about the election and the future of America.

Wait.

Before you assume I’m about to make a political endorsement, just know I don’t do that. 

Though I desperately want my favorite candidate to win, for the good of the future of our country, I don’t feel it’s my place to try to influence you just because I happen to have a platform.

I’ve spent too many years hopefully building your trust and respect, and for me to try and convince you that my candidate is better is a fool’s game. Nothing I say will change your mind.

But I am anxious because the media rhetoric has me believing that if my person does not win, the world will change for the worse. The problem is, the other side believes the same thing. 

We all want a better world, a better economy, a safer place and a better life for our kids and grandkids.

My Prayer

I was having a conversation about this with God in my prayer this morning … Here’s how it went.

Me: Hi, God. Thank you for this beautiful day. But I have to admit, I woke up a little nervous. I have a little anxiety.

God: Anxiety? Really, Eric? Why?

Me: I’m worried about the election. I’m worried about our country. I’m worried about the future of America and the future of my kids’ freedom.

God: OK, got it. How can I help you?

Me: Well, I don’t know. I was thinking of praying that you make sure my candidate gets elected, but what if I’m wrong?

God: You’ve prayed for things before that were wrong. Sometimes I’ve answered your prayers and they turned out not to be good for you.

Me: I know. Why?

God: Because sometimes what you want isn’t good for you and I need to show you that you need to be more reliant on me, not on things. After all, I’m not Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. I’m not here to grant wishes like a genie in a bottle, I’m here for you to worship me, and for you to change your life because you want to please me, not because you want to win brownie points. Remember, no matter how good you are, you cannot earn your way into heaven. There is only one way.

Me: Thanks for the reminder. So what can I do about my anxiety?

God: Let me handle it. Turn it over to me. Instead of praying for your candidate, pray that my will be done.

Me: I know, but it’s hard to let go. I want to control things.

God: Trust me. I’ve got everything under control. If you don’t get your way, maybe there is a lesson you need to learn. Remember, Eric, I’ve got this. I’ve seen every ruler since the beginning of time. Some were good, some were bad. I give you free will for a reason. I’ve watched a lot of countries destroy themselves because they put the wrong people in power. 

Me: OK, God. 

God: Your prayers mean everything to me. I want to hear from you. I want everyone to turn to me. I want you to change your plans according to my plans for you. But that means you have to trust me. You have to talk to me, and listen to me. 

Think about this … there are two quarterbacks. Both take a knee and pray to win the game. Just because one does not win the game does not mean I don’t love them both. There is a reason for everything. You need to rely on me, but you need to listen to the lessons when things don’t go your way. Stop stressing.  I have people who love me who are praying for both candidates. My followers are not Democrats, Republicans, or Libertarians. They are all in my family.  Just know, I’m in control.

Me: OK. I agree. I pray that whoever ends up with the keys to the country, you bless them, guide them, and lead their heart to make the right decisions for the good of the people. 

God: Now you get it.

Your Vote on Tuesday

If you’re someone who prays, pray that God will lead your heart and your decision. Pray that you’ll listen to the voice inside of you, pray for the future of this great land, and pray that our leader will do what’s best for our people. Most importantly, pray for God’s will.And if your person does not win, just know that there is a reason. Embrace it, learn from it, and keep praying for our leaders even if you don’t like them. Pray for your enemies.

If you’re not someone who prays, listen to your heart, not your head. Don’t succumb to the pressure of others. Be the real you. Most importantly, no matter what, get out and vote. Don’t ever think your vote does not matter. 

And if you’re anxious, give it up to God. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: This is all very entertaining. Though I’m tired of all the political nonsense, it’s fun trying to predict what happens next, what bomb will be dropped on each candidate or what distraction will show up to keep us from voting. It’s better than any movie.

But … I know a lot of people who have put their lives on hold. Their world will come to an end, they think, if the wrong person gets into office. Don’t let this stop you from living your life, doing what you need to be doing. Lick your wounds or celebrate, but in either case, move on and get back to living the richest life possible. 

Speaking of entertaining…

Just around the corner in November is my next online conference. It’s called Realism Live, and it’s the last time we’re gonna do it for a couple of years. It’s THE BEST ALL AROUND ART CONFERENCE for those who want to learn a little bit of every kind of realism art … landscape painting, drawing, portraits, figures, still life, and more. I think we’re down to our last 200 seats (this is a massive worldwide art training event that THOUSANDS have attended), and I suspect those seats will go fast because the price increases very soon. Register at www.RealismLive.com.

Wanna Get Away to the Sun?
A lot of the country had its first snow this week. By February, you’ll be sick of gray days. My newest artist retreat is called WINTER ESCAPE. It’s being held in St. Augustine, FL, the oldest city in America, and we’re going to implement some new things we’ve never tried at our other retreats. We’re already 47% sold out. If you wanna go, sign up now. If we get enough people, we’ll be able to take over a whole hotel on our own, which will make it even more fun. Check it out at www.winterartescape.com.

Watercolor People…
Watercolor Live is coming up in January, and it’s already exceeding expectations. Register at www.WatercolorLive.com.