It’s quiet and peaceful around the house. One of our kids is home from college; the others will show up by Thanksgiving day. And soon, the house will be filled with cheer and laughter as the holidays begin and visitors begin to arrive from other places. It will be one giant slumber party. And then the house will be quiet again, one week from today.

Thanksgiving Fits

As a child, Thanksgiving and Christmas were my two favorite holidays. I loved them because it was a gathering of family, time to run around like crazy with my cousins, time to see people we only saw at holidays.

But some Thanksgivings stand out as overly dramatic … like the time something upset me and I hurled my plate of food across the room out of anger. I remember my aunt saying, “That kid is spoiled and needs to be punished.” She was right. I had a bad temper as a child. 

Most disagreements were about which football game to watch or which team to root for. If there was political discord, I don’t remember much of it. But this Thanksgiving may be different. 

Wounded

This year, there are a lot of hurt feelings and wounded people who did not get their way in the election, feeling as though anyone who voted for the President-elect must be out of their minds. Of course those who did vote for him were feeling the same way about his opponent’s supporters. This is probably what it was like during the Civil War. Families became divided and Thanksgiving dinners became unbearably difficult.

Some families will gather and celebrate their win together, with everyone in agreement, but most families will have some members who are in disagreement.

Disagreement is healthy. Discussion is healthy. But as a nation, we’ve become so deeply divided, more than I can remember in my lifetime. 

Will you allow it to divide your family?

We’re all responsible adults, and we have all made up our minds based on what we believe is best for our country. Some may be critical of where you got your news, and wonder whether the full story was told, but we each have choices to listen to or read the sources we trust. And though a friendly, spirited debate can be fun, it is unlikely anything you say will change the minds of others. Most of us stay stuck on our decisions.

Family is the most important asset any of us have. Even though you may only connect with crazy Uncle Harry or insane Aunt Martha or only see your wayward brothers or sisters once a year, we should embrace our time together. Our parents or grandparents would want it, and to me there is nothing more precious than when I have all my kids at home on the holidays. And if I can see cousins, aunts, uncles, and close friends, it’s a bonus.

Who will you be this Thanksgiving?

Will you take the high road, and instead of rubbing salt in tender open wounds, be respectful and avoid bringing it up? 

Will you choose to be mean or vicious or get even? Or will you embrace family for the sake of family? Siblings don’t always need to fight.

Consider taking the high road. Maybe avoidance of certain topics is the best way to keep the waters calm. Instead, plan some fun things like games. Maybe pull out old family pictures to reinforce the things you used to have in common.

Holidays are about creating memories, preferably good ones. Not memories of people blowing up and storming out.

If you’re disappointed in the outcome of the election, ask yourself if your family members treated you badly when your team was in control for the past cycle. Were they treating you with respect even though they were disappointed? Will you do the same this time?

It starts with treating others the way you want to be treated.

We never know what lies ahead. With talk of WW III,  family members present this Thanksgiving may not be with us again. And we can never predict who will survive another year. Don’t look back wishing you had connected on a deeper level or regretting that you battled instead of being loving.

Remember, Love conquers all. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: We’re putting a basket in the center of our Thanksgiving table. Every phone goes into the basket and does not come out during dinner, and ideally, not for hours after. We want people engaged with one another, forcing them to interact, play games, or do something other than looking at social media. Let’s all seek ways to engage more, and find common ground.

PS2: I decided to create a day to help artists (painters, photographers, crafters) with their 2025 planning and to give them the core skills needed to have a great 2025. I announced it, and hundreds have already signed up. HOLD THE DATE, January 10, all day. You can learn more about it at www.streamlineartevents.com/marketing.

PS3: Retreat update: My February WINTER ESCAPE art retreat in St. Augustine is about 52% sold out already. I’m guessing it will sell out between now and Christmas. https://winterartescape.com/


My Adirondack spring retreat in early June is almost sold out. Still a few seats left. www.paintadirondacks.com

My fall retreat has only 22 seats left. This year it’s in Dore County, Wisconsin (which is stunningly beautiful). www.fallcolorweek.com

PS4: Like most, we have a Black Friday sale for the videos we’ve produced. Check it out at www.painttube.tv. 

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