As I was driving to the airport and rushing to catch a plane, my father sent me a text that said, “I’m going to come to your Plein Air Convention. I want to see what you do.”

I was blown away.

My dad was going to take his time and money to get on a plane and fly across the U.S., in order to be supportive of his son.

“That’s a great example of a great dad,” I said to my own son, who was riding in the back as Laurie drove me to the airport.

I texted back to find out if he needed a hotel room at the convention, and he replied that he had one at another hotel. I wasn’t sure when he was coming, but he asked when he should be there, and I suggested the opening of the convention and the next morning for Art Marketing Boot Camp.

That was the last I heard.

Midnight and a Sudden Text

Then, after arriving at my room at midnight the day before the convention started, I plugged my phone into the charger and noticed a text from my dad saying, “They don’t have my room.”

I assumed this meant he was in San Diego already, so just as I was about to call him back, my hotel phone rang. “Mr. Rhoads, there is a man here claiming to be your father, and he wants a key to your room.”

I ran down to the lobby and connected with my dad. Thankfully I had the presidential suite at the hotel because we were holding a VIP party for the six- and five-year attendees and faculty. So I requested a rollaway bed, offered him my king-size bed (which he refused), and we got him settled in.

Fast-Forward to the Future Me

Dad attended the opening and Art Marketing Boot Camp and wandered around the convention meeting friends and clients. In fact, I found him at a table at the bar with about six friends around him. One friend, Kathy Anderson, said, “This is eerie. I’m seeing you in 30 years.”

This experience has had me thinking about what a great dad and mom I have and how blessed I am to still have both of my parents.

It’s also made me question my own abilities as a father. What could I be doing that would be showing my kids that I support their interests? As a result, I’m trying harder to be more tuned in to what is important to them.

Raising kids is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, yet the most gratifying. Laurie and I have triplets (two boys and one girl) who are age 15.

Childhood Lessons

While thinking about how to be more deliberate and make sure I impart good information and wisdom to them, I draw on my childhood, and the lessons I observed from my parents and other mentors.

For instance, I think I got my work ethic from my dad, because he worked a lot. He once said that if you’re going to do something, you should be the best in the world at it. My mom imparted my creativity by encouraging me to paint and pushing me to try new things.

As kids, we had to work part of our summers at my dad’s company. That’s where I first started learning about marketing. “Always use full color, never black and white,” he would say. “You want to show your quality.”

My brothers worked in his factory and warehouse because they were a little older. I had to collate catalogues, test and try to break equipment, collate and assemble catalogue sheets, and I even learned to run a printing press. Summer after summer, we worked at the business, mowed other people’s lawns for income, washed cars, and did what we could to get some spending money or save for cars of our own.

Of course, we did not always love working at the time, but we got used to it, and we even got paid a little for it. Better still, we got the satisfaction of putting in a hard day and the sense of accomplishment that made us want to work more.

Working Trade Shows

Dad also used to make us work at trade shows. He would get permission for me to skip school, and I’d put on a suit and work his booth at McCormick Place in Chicago at the National Restaurant Association show. I had to shake hands, introduce myself, and show people how to use his restaurant equipment. I hated it at first, but over time grew to love interacting with people.

And he always made us put on suits and sit in on important business meetings, and in the meetings he would ask us what we thought, including us in important discussions, making us feel valued.

Though I’m not taking my kids out of school to work my events, you’ll see them at my Adirondack painters’ camp this coming June. They have worked registration since they were about 6, and today they have it down so well that I don’t need to lift a finger. They too griped about it in the beginning but now look forward to it.

Friend, Encourager, Challenger

The point of all this is that there is a delicate balance between being a friend, being an encourager, being a supporter, and challenging them and helping them develop a work ethic.

It’s really not just about kids, it’s about life.

Parenting, like life, is about challenging, helping people to find things within themselves that they don’t know are there, being supportive and encouraging, but pushing them to do things they won’t do on their own. Parenting, like life, is about showing up.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have been born to the parents I was given. Others have also been lucky, and some not so lucky. And though we get so much of our personality and ethic from our folks and other influential people like grandparents and friends, we can always find mentors we can emulate. I’ve had incredible mentors in business, in art and painting, and in marketing, who have given me examples of how to live an enriched life. Some mentors are close, others we see from afar through things like biographies.

The Never-Ending Task

The lesson this week for me is that parenting never stops. I received a lot of much-needed encouragement and support, and even though I’m well into my career and no longer a child or even a young adult, it felt good to be acknowledged and appreciated by my dad. I also received a note of encouragement from my mom, who saw the success on Facebook.

You may or may not have kids, but if you do, even if they are older, they still need you to show up and support and encourage them. They may not say they need it, but it sure feels good.

Your mission for this week?

Gratitude. Stop and think about what you have, or had, and be grateful for it. Even if it was not perfect, others do the best they know how to do.

Encouragement of others is a gift that not only explodes their self-confidence, it feels good to watch people light up. Encourage those around you.

My mission is to sit down and make a list of the things I still need to impart to my kids before they go off to college, and spend this summer working on those messages.

Have a great week. Thanks for sharing coffee with me this morning.

I feel like one of the luckiest men alive.

I knew and spent time with my grandparents as an adult and had all four for many years into adulthood. Three out of four lived into their mid-90s, which is a strong indicator of good genes.

I’m also blessed to have both of my parents, and they remain active, mentally alert, and very engaged. In fact, my dad flew out to the Plein Air Convention by himself and hung out with us for a couple of days before he went on a photo expedition. He wanted to see what his kid does for a living and be supportive. I’ve got a great dad and mom who support me.

Of course I tell my triplets, age 15, that I fully intend to be in their lives for many decades to come because I want to know their great-grandchildren…

Which brings me to something I spoke about on stage at the Plein Air Convention. It’s about aging.

Time Is Running Out…

I often tell the story of a relative who in his late 50s started talking about how he was “getting old” and needed to start the process of planning, because he would not be around long.

Perhaps he was half-joking, but I remember telling my wife, “He’s right. If he keeps talking about getting old, he won’t last long.”

As it turned out, he passed away soon after.

You see, our subconscious mind has triggers; they trigger our bodies to react to what we’re telling the brain. Our body is getting one of two signals: the signal to live or the signal to die.

The body takes those signals and produces what it needs to live, or to begin the process of deterioration. There are “signals” that impact life … our thinking, our level of exercise, our diets, our social lives, and our mental engagement.

I don’t even like to utter or type the words “I’m getting old” because I’m very protective about not putting this thought into my head to trigger negative action in my subconscious mind. If I do, it’s only as an example, and then I make a conscious effort to tell myself, “That’s unlike me to think that way.”

Though you and I don’t know when our end will come, I think it’s important to manage our thoughts and feed the right triggers, so that no matter our chronological age, we don’t trigger ourselves into a dying mode.

You Have to Train Your Brain

Instead of saying those words when I have a cranky back or a pain, I don’t utter anything age-related. Instead, I simply tell myself, “I need to fix the problem.” I then work very hard at not accepting physical limitations. After all, they may be age-related, but are usually caused by the lack of something else, usually proper diet or proper exercise.

Two years ago I popped a disc in my back when doing a stretch at the gym. It was painful, and it slowed me down. I refused surgery and kept going to professionals until I found some who told me there were other ways to address the issue. As a result, I went through a lot of chiropractic, rolfing, acupuncture, a little yoga, and even some new forms of deep tissue work, along with stretches and exercises to build scar tissue.

The problem is 100 percent solved, the disc is back in place, and the back is stable. Had I accepted the diagnosis of surgery first, or one doctor telling me, “It’s just part of getting old, you’ll need to learn to live with it,” I would not be where I am today.

There I go, talking about my health…

Have you noticed that often this is the topic when older people gather? My dad said, “I need to find younger friends, because the older ones only want to talk about their health.”

You Become What You Think About

What you talk about, what you spend your time on, is what feeds your mind. I try to avoid talking about my health, and I try to change the subject when friends start sharing their aches.

Frequently I scold people for using “getting old” kinds of phrases. The other day I scolded a nationally known speaker who teaches positive thinking. He did not even realize he was doing it.

In Art Marketing Boot Camp at the recent Plein Air Convention, I did a segment on building “the ultimate retirement” business as an artist because I hear from so many people who want to ramp up their art careers fast after they retire from their lifelong career. Many ask if there is time.

My answer is that you should assume you have unlimited amounts of time. The key is being engaged mentally, socially, and physically. Don’t place limits on yourself about how much time you have left. Assume you have a lot, because you can hold a paintbrush till your last breath.

Five Will Get You Fifty

Five years ago I read an article that said if you can live just 10 more years, there is a strong chance you could live 50 more years. The reality is that technology is rapidly changing. In fact, some billionaires are working on 3D-printing human tissue into new hearts and say they will eventually be able to 3D-print a full human body with perfect health.

They also say they have transferred a brain from one mouse to another, so a mouse who has learned a maze can have that information moved to the other mouse — without surgery. What they are saying is, if they can combine brain-transfer tech with 3D body printing, you could, in theory, live as long as you want to. Perhaps you’ll find it controversial, but I think it just might help me know my great-great-great-grandchildren and play volleyball with them.

I’m Not Insensitive

Look, I know there are true and real issues, like illness and injuries, that many of you face. I was approached by a woman at the convention who was living through horrific chemo treatments and was not yet out of the woods. I don’t in any way mean to make light of the situations you or your family or friends may be going through.

But I also don’t entirely trust traditional MDs. I’ve read about a lot of new technology in use today for various issues that my own doctor is not even aware of. Though there is a lot of untrue stuff selling hope on the Internet, there is also a chance to research and find legit solutions. New things take time to be adopted, and many MDs want to be cautious and make sure the science supports it.

Boundless Energy

People ask me where my energy comes from, because I tend to walk fast, get up early and stay up late, and manage to crush through a lot of work and some very long convention or painting event days at things like my Publisher’s Invitational in the Adirondacks or Fall Color Week or my Russian Art Tour.

Frankly, I used to fall asleep in my chair after dinner every night and I lacked energy. Switching to a vegan diet, eliminating all grains from my life, and juicing greens every morning have a lot to do with my energy. I also see a nutritionist every year to adjust my supplements. Oh, I still see my MD, and I make sure I get my key vitals and heart checked frequently. Plus I’m at the gym an hour every weekday, doing weights and cardio. But I don’t want you to think for a second that I’m pushing this on you. Everyone has to find what works for them.

So Much to Do, So Little Time

I may be proven wrong in all of this, but at least I’m fooling myself into thinking I can play a role in extending my life. After all, there is much to be done, and I’ll need a lot of time to do everything I want to do.

Many of you reading this are of an age where you need to reconsider your thought patterns and the behavior that supports your energy level and health. Chances are a lot of things your MD says cannot be reversed can be reversed.

Others are a long way from it, but it’s best to understand it now so that you’ll be ready when you do face it.

Hello … You’re Dead

I’m big on watching what I put into my mind. My friend Kaye and I were on the phone one day and she was telling me about caring for a friend of ours who is dying of cancer. She said, “I’m not sure how much longer I can take this. I work a full day in my company and then I work hours on his care. This is killing me. “

I stopped her and said, “Kaye, for your own benefit, please don’t use the words, ‘This is killing me.’ Your subconscious will pick up on that.’

She then scolded me for telling her about this positive-thinking BS.

Kaye died the next day.

Do not feed your mind things that trigger dying. Feed your mind to trigger life … long, healthy life.

It may sound like positive-thinking BS, but there is a lot of recent evidence to support it.

Most importantly, ask yourself what you believe and what you’re telling yourself and if it’s supporting what you need to get done before your time comes.

A friend of mine asks himself every year, “What am I doing that is not supporting my ability to live a strong, healthy, long life?” Whatever he comes up with, he quits.

He quit smoking.
He quit eating meat.
He quit eating dairy.
He quit sitting around and started taking walks.
He quit gluten.

Forgive me if I’m preaching. I only want the best for you.

Your mission for this week?

• Maybe ask yourself what you’re doing that does not support your longevity.
• Catch yourself. Every time you make an OPR (Old Person’s Reference), set off a mental buzzer and say, “That’s unlike me to think that.” And please stop uttering words like, “I’m getting old,” or “I’m old.” Old is a relative term, and with the new technology today, you might not even be halfway there.
• Be careful about other mind-altering words, like, “I can’t take this anymore. This is killing me.”

Have a great week. Thanks for sharing coffee with me this morning.