Describing paradise isn’t possible. The feelings permeate your entire soul. How do you describe the feeling of the warm sun on your skin as you lie on the dock absorbing its rays? Or the feeling of seeing a giant nesting eagle almost within reach as you boat past her in a kayak in waterlily- filled waters? Or a hundred varieties of rich greens, all in one place, in view against the subtle purples of distant mountains? I feel blessed to be spending my summers here in the Adirondacks.

Lucky You

“You’re lucky to be able to spend all summer in a place like this,” said an acquaintance. Blessed yes — lucky, maybe. But everything I’m experiencing had little to do with luck and everything to do with a deliberate plan I began making after a frustrating turning point. As it turns out, most of the good things that happen in life are born of frustration and the desire to change those feelings and overcome the limitations that cause them.

Limited Time

Once I was exposed to this paradise — thanks to the vision of my father, who found it and moved here for his summers — I was so in love with how my body melted into relaxation within 24 hours of being here, and how my eyes were stimulated with its deep, oxygen-flooded woods, crystal clear waterfalls flowing over giant boulders, and its 6 million acres of protected beauty. But I had to leave … off to work, unable to stay, only able to squeeze in a weekend once a summer, at best. Wanting to be here, and frustration that I could not be here more, drove me to make a plan that allowed me to be here all summer, every summer. 

Powerful Dreams

Plans like this are driven by dreams so powerful that nothing is allowed to distract you from making them happen. I told myself that by the time I had kids, I wanted them to grow up on this lake, experiencing true halcyon days of summer, for every summer of their lives. (Or at least every summer till they were in charge of their own timeline.) My plan started with a goal … spend all summer here. That meant I had to become independently wealthy or retired, neither of which was an option. But being driven by the dream, I gradually looked for ways to unwind commitments where my in-person presence was required to run my businesses, including team and business meetings in an era where Zoom had yet to be invented and the internet was just starting to become a thing. Yet by the time my kids were born, I hit my goal, and made a commitment that I would never leave on business trips or for meetings in the summer months. Happily, I’ve only violated that a handful of times in two decades.

Without frustration, we don’t know how much better our lives can become. Without pain, we cannot appreciate the perfect days.

My Sucko Boss

As a young man of 19, I was able to take a two-week vacation from my radio job in Miami to join my parents on their trip to Europe. It was my first time there, and my eyes were opened to a whole new world. But when my time was up, my parents suggested I see if I could get just three more days off to join them on the next leg of their trip, Vienna. But an overseas call to the U.S. (difficult in those days) to my boss resulted in him screaming, “NO! And if you’re not back on time, don’t bother coming back.” So I came home, only to discover I could have stayed a few more days and no one would have cared. It was simply a power play from my boss. 

Embrace Horrible Moments

Defining moments of frustration like this need to be embraced. It was that split-second moment that made me tell myself, “I’m never going to work for anyone again. I’m never going to allow myself to be placed in a position where I can’t do what I want.”

Kicked Into Action

It was that moment that got the squirrels turning the wheels in my previously stunted brain. I was on fire with ideas, and within a few months, I had set up some side businesses, built up my savings, and eventually quit my job. I took one more job because my plan included making myself well-known in certain radio circles by taking a loser radio station to number one in less than a year — which then got me several job offers and resulted in my starting my own consulting business, taking all of the jobs offered. That was my launch.

No matter how stuck you may think you are, there are always options to get you unstuck. And the best moments are the “I’ve had enough” moments. 

Doing the Right Thing

Though I was tempted to quit and stay in Europe, it was not the right thing to do for my career or for my need to pay my bills. But it stimulated my thinking, which resulted in the creation of a plan. My frustration and need to become independent overcame the fear of going out on my own. 

If you’re feeling stuck, know that there is a solution, and there is hope. But things don’t magically solve themselves; they require your thought and your action. There is always a way out. But you have to overcome the tricks your brain is trying to play on you.

Problems Seem Bigger Than They Are

Our fears tend to enlarge the magnitude of our problems, and then we tell ourselves stories that it’s impossible to escape. It’s never impossible. You just have to get sick and tired of where you are before you’ll make the changes you need to make. 

Where are you stuck? 

Are you feeling trapped?

What is frustrating you?

I guarantee you, if you embrace the frustration and the fear, you can change your circumstances, no matter how stuck or alone you feel.

Eric Rhoads

PS: You would think a guy like me, who appears to be overconfident at times, would not allow his brain to control him with negative thoughts. Right? I’ve stood on stages in front of thousands of people and made a complete fool of myself. I just hung upside down from aerialists’ silks at the Plein Air Convention. I’ve been on broadcasts reaching millions of people while entertaining. I’ve been featured in hundreds of articles, TV shows, and radio stations. I’ve hung out with rock stars. I’ve overcome so many things, yet there are moments when fear or doubt still creep in.

I just experienced two of those moments.

The first was because an art gallery owner visited my studio. He picked out 16 paintings to take to the gallery, some of which need to be finished, or signed or varnished. He then said, “I want to do a show, and I want you to come in for a reception.”

Gulp. Fear set in. It was one thing to send paintings to a gallery, it was another to commit to a show where I would be laid bare in front of the world. My mind immediately went into negative overdrive with “What if?” questions: What if I don’t sell anything, what if I fail, what if I embarrass myself? After all, this gallery sells the very top contemporary painters and a lot of historic masters. To think I’d be in a show hanging next to those paintings was intimidating. “I’m not good enough; I’m not even close to their level.” I was experiencing imposter syndrome. All legitimate feelings of course, because I know that my work isn’t as good as a lot of other work. But the gallery owner reminded me, “I’m not going to stake my reputation on a show of substandard work. Relax. You’ll be fine.”

I have not committed to the show yet because I want to see how the paintings turn out first. If I do it, I need to push my limits to be as good as I’m currently capable of. (Not to mention not having a lot of painting time.) But I’m leaning toward doing it, assuming I can get the rest of the paintings done. And I should probably just commit and set a deadline so I can’t back out.

I’m sharing this because I know I have to push myself beyond my negative thoughts, and I wanted you to know I still have them.

Another thing…

I got a call from Sandy Hildreth, the organizer of the local Adirondack plein air festival (which is not the same as my Adirondack Publishers’ Invitational retreat). The artist set to do her workshop this weekend backed out due to health issues, and she asked if I would do it.

My first response was, “No, I’ve never taught a workshop.” Her response was perfect … “Maybe not, but I see you working with painters at your events and you clearly know what you’re doing, and I’ve seen you teach on video.” 

Again, my doubts crept in and I declined. But as I thought about it, I thought, “If not now, when? What if this is my one chance to do a workshop?” So I called her back and agreed to do it. 

My brain had been playing games with my head. “You’re gonna bomb, you’re not as good as others who could be teaching it, your artist friends are going to mock you.” 

But here I am, Sunday morning, and I’m about to head over for day two of my workshop, which started yesterday morning. I don’t know what I was worried about. I’m seeing that I’m able to help some really good artists figure out how to get better. I’m seeing the lights turn on when they suddenly “get” certain concepts. 

I’m telling you this because I want you to know that these feelings are normal. Tony Robbins says this is your reptilian brain trying to protect you. But we have to overcome those thoughts and fears and do it anyway, because if we don’t, we’ll sit sheepishly in our comfortable chair and never leave it.

By the end of today, I’ll either know that I rocked the workshop or I will have received bad feedback. Either way, I will have grown. So I’m glad I said yes.

What’s holding you back?

If you’re telling yourself … I’d love to learn to paint, but…

  • I’m not good enough
  • I don’t have talent
  • I can’t draw a stick figure
  • I’m not an artist

I guarantee I can teach you in my Pastel Live even next month. It’s a 3-day online workshop with the best pastel painters in the world, and pastel is one of the best ways to learn to paint because it does not require you to mix liquids and chemicals to figure out colors. Like crayons, you grab the colors you want, but unlike crayons, the colors are vibrant and professional-looking. Join me by visiting pastellive.com.

One of my next goals … I want to stand onstage in front of an audience at a non-art event, and show the audience that they can lose their stress and build their self-esteem by learning to paint. Then I’m going to pass out materials to 10,000 people in the room, and teach them how to paint step by step, right there from their seats. Then we’re all going to celebrate our success when they all realize they can do this. 

Will I do it? Absolutely, now that the goal is set. It’s just a matter of time.