Roaring thunder is echoing off the distant mountain and the lake acts like a giant amplifier, making the booms even louder. The old porch is shaking with each blast, and the rain is slamming loudly on the roof above. Rain is driving sideways like arrows trying to penetrate the screens, yet somehow the water isn’t coming in.

My dream was to one day have a porch like this. Sitting here in a storm is one of my favorite things; it’s as if I’m defying nature, nestled and secure in my little wooden shelter.

Did you know there is a difference between goals and dreams?

I’ve found that goals are intentional, and often related to dreams — but dreams tend to be random, often not formalized by the process of goal-setting.

Which do you think is more powerful? A set goal or a random dream?

In Trouble for Daydreaming

In fourth grade at Harrison Hill Elementary I was sent to the principal’s office for daydreaming, not paying attention in class. Most of my school years were considered unproductive because of my horrific grades, which had to do with not paying attention, not wanting to be there, being bored, and being in a better place inside my head than in class.

Drifting into Dreamland

Today, though I’m a better student because I pursue what I want to learn, I still drift off when a speaker stimulates a thought that then circulates inside my head, getting louder and louder as I explore the possibilities. Before long I can miss a couple of hours of content because the idea is being played out in my head. And frankly, that’s the value of going. 

No Life Without Dreams

Dreams have been the foundation of my life, which has been a machine gun of ideas sprayed across the world. If I think about something, I’m thinking about it as if it has already occured. I envision my life when that dream takes place, and I see myself doing what it is I’m dreaming. Events like the Plein Air Convention and the Figurative Art Convention were dreams where I saw myself on stage, presenting the most brilliant minds in painting. And when those dreams came true, the first versions were exactly as I pictured them, faculty and all.

Dreaming Isn’t Goal-Setting

I’m big on goal-setting, but I’m bigger on dreaming. Because dreams, I think, reflect what you really want, and sometimes goals are what we think we should want. They’re often rooted in family responsibilities like paying bills or raising enough money for college (we’re facing that now).

Where do your dreams take you?

Others tell me they don’t dream, or they don’t have vivid dreams. Still others don’t daydream. I’m guessing they do, but they’re not embracing it for what it is. It’s not useless folly. 

Ending Dreams

Young couples have dreams. One day we’ll have a family, three kids, two dogs, a little house with a white picket fence. And most of them get those dreams. Then they dream of their kids growing up, college, grandchildren, etc. And those dreams typically come true, though they are out of their hands and in the hands of their kids. But sometimes those dreams end there because of the limits we impose on ourselves.

Squashing Dreams

Before quarantine times, I was with someone whose child was telling me about his dreams of doing something big and great, and his mom chimed in and said, “Stop that foolishness. Our kind are not meant to do such things.” I was mortified and wanted to speak up, but did not out of respect to my hosts.

Are you squashing your own dreams or the dreams of others because you feel undeserving?

Brilliant Dreamers

You may think that someone like Elon Musk has something we all don’t have. We may tell ourselves that his brilliance is possible because he is a billionaire, but the reality is that he is a billionaire because of his dreams. Unlike most, he has trained himself to dream big, not place any limits, and explore endless possibilities. We all tend to give ourselves reasons things can’t be done, yet if you eliminate the limits and dream big, you will surprise yourself with what you’re capable of accomplishing. 

Dream Till You Believe It

I’m a big believer that goals without actions are just a to-do list that never gets done. It’s action that moves things forward. The value of dreams is that when we envision something in detail and continually repeat those thoughts, we begin to accept that the impossible is possible. The brain tends to help us seek and find ways to do impossible things. 

Like most, I have limits. I catch myself continually telling myself all the reasons something can’t happen. But once I catch myself, I try to change my thinking. It’s very deliberate.

What is one big dream you’ve always wanted to accomplish?

Now, what are you telling yourself about that dream? Here is a typical list:

• It’s too big for me
• People like us don’t do things like that
• I don’t have the degree or education
• I don’t have the talent
• I don’t have the money
• I’m not good at the things needed to accomplish it
• I’m too young
• I’m too old
• I don’t have much time left

Dreams are the place you write the next chapter before you accomplish that chapter.

Napoleon wrote, “Small plans do not inflame the hearts of men.”

I have confidence that your dreams can come true. I can’t tell you how; I never really know how, when I first start. But the more you think about it, envision yourself in it, the more the answers will come.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I was dreaming recently during our quarantine. I thought that there is a whole world of artists who have been coming together on my daily videos (noon Eastern @ericrhoads on Facebook and Instagram), and it made me dream of creating the first worldwide artists’ event in history. Something where all the plein air painters (and wannabes) gather virtually in a global plein air event.

At first, my brain told me it was too much work, that it would be impossible. Then I started thinking about the time, the money, the challenges, the tech, and I almost stopped working on it. But then I realized it’s a dream that can change lives and that I could not let anything get in my way.

Plein Air Live will take place on July 15-18, with a new plein air beginners’ day on the 14th. Five days total where the world gathers, paints together, learns together, and celebrates our passion. You’ll be part of a historic moment, and you’ll be connected with people you never before knew. And no travel, no expenses. All in your safe home.

Already the response is phenomenal, and frankly, technology may limit how many can attend. So if you go to PleinAirLive.com and fill out the form, we will ticket people in the order they came in. No obligation, but once we announce details, you’ll be glad you are holding that possible reservation.

This is one of my big dreams. There are others. I fully intend to live my dreams. I hope you will too.

PS 2: Here is a link to all the free video samples we’ve posted the past almost 80 days. Enjoy.

PS 3: The world, at the moment, is filled with hurting people, and they also have dreams. Let’s all remember to listen to the dreams of others and help them live their dreams.

Glitter has been sprinkled all over the water, and the light is blasting it to reflect like lasers into my retinas. The sound of a mild slosh hits the old wooden dock, and the 50-year-old metal rowboat with peeling green paint and a maroon Evinrude outboard stands ready, with poles hanging over the sides awaiting today’s fishing expedition. 

Brilliant Morning Light

The tops of the trees are orange, while the shaded part of the pines remains deep greenish-blue as the trees eagerly await a sunbath when it rises further. The mountain in the distance is looking especially inviting today, as if to say, “Come, climb me on the first day.”

We arrived here in paradise late last night, ready to go into our two-week self-quarantine after breathing the mask-filtered air on an almost empty airplane. But oh! What a place to be stuck. A boat-access-only cabin that was built 140 years ago, and we have nothing to do but absorb its silence and dust its shelves. I’m ready.

Thirty Years and Counting

If I were counting, I would guess this is summer number 31 for me on these lakes. I first visited in 1988 or ’89 and never wanted to leave. I fell in love with the smell of pines and the stunning scenery of the mountains. These lakes have become my muse, first for photography and then, many years later, the joy of painting. Though I want to see the whole world, this is a part of the world I want as a constant in my life, a place to go for some mental downtime.

A Sea of Paintings

Last summer, as we were driving in from the airport, I saw things with fresh eyes and made a list of a hundred different spots I wanted to paint. Yet I barely painted all summer because moving into the old cabin and doing repairs and projects consumed all my time. Yet again this year, I’ve set my sights high, in hopes of painting daily this summer. Time will tell.

Stuck Inside

Like you, I’m tired of being stuck inside, and like you, I’ll self-isolate for a couple of weeks after arriving and avoid situations that put anyone else at risk. Thankfully, the wilderness does not put me in touch with anyone for miles if I’m out painting, fishing, or hiking. So, to the extent you can in your situation, try to get some fresh air and some time outside if possible.

Taking Care of Your Mental Health

Each of us is in a different situation, a different place, with different circumstances. But all of us have had to face things we’d never imagined were possible. We’ve been stuck inside, we’re not exercising as much, we’re not getting a healthy dose of social activities, and we’re eating differently. And with the double whammy of quarantines and unrest, we’re filled with uncertainty and fear. Perhaps we should consider what Roosevelt meant with his “nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Fearing fear is actually a wise thing. They did not have the science data we have now, but It turns out that fear triggers massive releases of cortisol in the brain, which actually impacts your thinking ability and launches you into a fight-or-flight mode. According to Psychology Today, “low-grade cortisol baths” seem to be the biggest immune system culprit of all. These “baths” are smaller influxes of cortisol all day long, primarily due to a stress-dominated thought process … “When added to the concept that your brain, in many ways, doesn’t know the difference between what you vividly imagine (or worry about) and what is real, you can see the damage your panic may be wreaking on your risk of contracting a circulating virus.”

They go on to say, “When stress, anxiety, worry, overwhelm, depression and isolation are left unchecked they actually reduce the effectiveness of your immune system and make you, and those around you, much more susceptible to getting sick.”

Not only does fear impact our physical health by weakening our immune system, causing cardiovascular damage, ulcers, and irritable bowel syndrome, it can accelerate aging and premature death. Fear also creates memory impairment and tends to “lock in,” making things worse by increasing anxiety. Fear causes brain processing impairment, which results in erratic decision-making, increased negativity, explosive behavior, and impulsive reactions. All of this then leads to fatigue. It seems to me that with COVID-19, our immune systems have to be our highest priority.

My Downward Spiral

This week I found myself glued to the TV, staying up watching protests and rioting until two in the morning, worrying about my community and our own safety. I stopped sleeping, tossing and turning all night. Laurie pointed out I was not myself. I had become grumpy, irritable, and negative, and I realized I was falling into a negative spiral. I was not my normal upbeat self. I was suddenly depressed, then started having some wine to self-medicate and escape, and of course I felt bad the next morning. I was defeated.

A Moment of Clarity

Upon awaking with a slight hangover and little sleep it struck me that I had to snap out of it, and not let my emotions drive me further down. I knew I had to lead my family, and with my daily broadcasts, lead my friends in the art world. So I worked hard to elevate my mood (yes, dancing like no one was watching with some loud music in my studio). I committed to eating right, exercising more, getting up and getting to bed earlier, and insulating myself from all the bad news. Though I check enough to get a minute or two of basic information, I’m no longer watching the TV news, no longer watching the unrest unfolding, no longer allowing that to dominate my thoughts. I’ve pulled away from social media and am unfriending everything negative.

Your Number One Priority

Your health, your mental well-being, has to be your number one priority. Without it you can’t make good decisions, can’t take care of your family, and can’t provide the emotional support others need. And if you allow your thoughts to destroy your immune system, you’ll fall deeper into the spiral and could get infected with the virus. 

Is it time for you to consider the toll all this negativity is taking on you?

Once I got to the woods, to the lake, I realized just how keyed up I was, and how getting away has been such a relief. I did not know how badly it was impacting me till I changed my perspective.

Enough Is Enough

Psychologists tell me that worry and fear are usually unwarranted. We tend to amplify the story and then ruminate about it, but most of what we worry about, we cannot change. Change what you can, but don’t worry about the rest. So I’m officially declaring this the summer of joy. 

The Summer of Joy

You deserve joy. You deserve laughter, fun, walks in the woods, time doing what you love with those you love. You deserve hugs, silliness, and happiness. And, after all you and I have been through, we need it and appreciate those things more than ever.

A Shield

I for one refuse to allow anyone to destroy my joy. I’m going to protect myself by avoiding the news, avoiding social media (other than my daily broadcasts and reading the comments), and taking another break from all media. If the world ends, I’ll eventually find out. Meanwhile, life will be better and I’ll be happier.

Happy Socks

Joy is not up to someone else, it’s up to you and me. We control our joy. We may get it from the actions of others, but we can get it by simply looking into ourselves and pulling it up like a great pair of happy socks. The media and social media are robbing us of our joy. If you want a summer of joy, you may want to consider a summer away from the things that are feeding fear. Just something to consider.

Control Your Reaction

Right now things feel like there is no end. No end to the virus and its possible return, maybe a lifetime of masks and distance. No end to the protests or the causes of the protests. We can’t control those things, but we can control how they are controlling our emotions and feeding our fear.

I want the best for you, I want you healthy, happy, strong, and vibrant. It’s OK to run from the fear, to hide out and put your head in the sand for a while, and consume yourself with fun distractions. In fact, it’s healthy.

Here’s to a summer of joy.

Eric Rhoads

Distractions: I have lots of them if you want to learn about art.

1. Free lessons for beginners at www.paintbynote.com
2. Free daily broadcasts of art instruction samples at 3 p.m. and 9 p.m. on YouTube Live (@streamlineartvideo), and I’m live daily at noon on Facebook and Instagram (@ericrhoads) and on Youtube (@streamlineartvideo)

Last summer I wrote about taking a digital holiday, getting away from the negativity of social media and all media. Today, social media and TV have become unbearable, and because of fear, fatigue, and explosive behavior, things are worse than ever.

I’d like to invite you to join me in putting my head in the sand. No, I’m not ignoring real issues we have to deal with, but our mental health is at risk.

I for one cannot sit night after night stimulating fear in my system. I’m not willing to allow current events to destroy my health, my life, and my mood.

And the reality is, I’ll change what I can change, but beyond that, my worry is a fool’s game.

Drinking in the beauty of Austin, Texas, with its deep green cedar trees and gnarled oaks, I’m staring out over the yard one last time. No more will I sit on this porch in my red wicker couch on the long covered porch with the tin roof that rings like a metal drum with each raindrop. No more will I cuddle with the dogs here as I write. I’ll miss the deer in the yard and the neighbors’  Longhorn cattle, but alas, now that the kids have graduated high school, summer calls us to an old cabin on the lake where I’ll be reaching out to you for the balance of the summer. It’s good for us, our family, our kids, and even the family who stays in our Austin home each summer, who get a change of scenery.

Silence

But when we return, our secure little nest will be silent. No more slamming doors, teen drama, setting the table for five, no more arguments, but also no more hanging out on the couch with a day-to-day debriefing. Thankfully, two of our triplets remain in the state, only a couple of hours away, and one in a neighboring state about a day’s drive away. 

Years ago the stress of parenting made us eager for these stress-filled, high-drama days to be replaced by quiet moments, but as we approach the runway for takeoff, we’re getting sad. It’s the start of a new chapter.

Stressed

Over dinner the other night we were reminiscing about school with the kids, how they were so stressed about moving to a new city and a new school. They were stressed about elementary school, then stressed about the transition to middle school, then high school. As parents we knew how short and insignificant it would all one day feel. Yet no matter how much we told them everything would be OK, their stress levels were high until they’d had time to adjust.

All New to Us

Now the tables are turned. Our anxiety about kids in college is probably as bad as theirs, as is our anxiety about moving to the next chapter. This new chapter will be a trial run, kids away from home, us being alone together and having to get to know one another all over again. Yet we’ll still be coaching kids in school and reminding them occasionally of life choices they need to be making. And after college, if there is no grad school, it will be graduation to life, a new chapter for them and for us. We don’t know what it will bring, but chances are our little family of five will grow, with new personalities injected into our lives, and hopefully one day some little ones who can call me Gramps. 

Perhaps I’m a late bloomer, or maybe I just delayed things as long as possible. My cousin, one year younger, just retired this week and already has grandkids who will soon provide great-grandkids. Me, I’m still putting in 15-hour days with no intention to retire, and my kids are just now leaving the nest.

As we turn the page to a new chapter, or click the remote to a new episode, I for one am in love with the idea of change. I used to fight it, now I crave it. 

Tolstoy said, “True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” Roy Bennett said it this way: “If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down.”

Breaking the Rules

Though I’m not critical of the mold for how we’re supposed to act or be when our hair turns white, I feel like this chapter brings many new possibilities. I’ve passed on hundreds of invitations to paint at events or speak at colleges and events, and skipped all-expenses-paid trips to foreign lands because I wanted to be home as much as possible. Now, I’m free to go, and my wife is willing to go along. And, for the first time, she is free and has ideas for which I must be the one to tag along. It’s only fair.

The winter pastor at our old church in Florida, author John Maxwell, says, “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”

As I watch friends who have lived this chapter before me, I’ve seen some become stagnant ponds, and others become waterfalls. Movement creates movement and energy. Stillness creates more stillness. There is a time for each, yet too much still water breeds mental bacteria.

The Edge of the Earth

Each of us is in a different place. Your life may be ahead of you. My friends with young kids don’t yet realize it passes in the click of your fingers. I never believed it, yet here I am. Some of you are at the edge of the earth, about to jump off for the next planet. Like changing seasons, we each move from chapter to chapter, often clinging to the past only to be dragged into the future. Then when we get comfortable, we get dragged out of that comfort zone again.

I for one am enthusiastically looking forward to being uncomfortable. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. 

“The comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” – Brian Tracy

Where are you?

Are you so comfortable you don’t want to be ripped out of your easy chair? Or are you waiting for the next chapter to begin?

I for one am excited. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: We’ve all been ripped out of our comfort zone. Each day when we shop for groceries, we wonder if we’re the next victim of COVID-19. But, if you dig deeply, you’ll find this time has been a gift. Look for it.

My gift for my art-loving friends has been almost 70 days of art instruction video samples. But, like all good things, they are soon to go away. People have asked me to keep them up a little longer so they can catch up … so to find them, follow these steps.

1. Go to YouTube.
2. Search Streamline Art Video. 
3. Click “Subscribe.” You’ll have access to everything for a while after we make them disappear from the public page. Please do so today, so you don’t forget.

PS 2: Big news. Sometimes bad things lead to good things. My summer painting retreat in the Adirondacks was postponed, then canceled because the college we normally stay in has closed for the summer. But a place I’ve always wanted to hold the event has opened up because they had to cancel their summer camps. For our 10- year anniversary, we are staying in one of the GREAT CAMPS of the ADIRONDACKS, which was built in 1901 for 2.5 million ($70 million in today’s dollars). It’s a classic, on a different, more beautiful lake. If you’re interested, we’re still accepting people, and we have a 100% money back guarantee if we or you have to cancel. 

Each morning during self-isolation I’ve been without my normal routine. Normally, pre-COVID-19, I’d awaken early, make breakfast for the kids, see them off to school, head to the gym or yoga, come home to get ready, and then go to my office.

Now, I’m staying up late, usually until midnight, sometimes one or two, and there is no routine to awaken for. My kids have been sleeping in on days when there are no Zoom classes, or getting up two minutes before class, which they can attend in their pajamas. No breakfast to make, no gym available to visit. The only thing consistent is my “go to the office” routine, which has been at home since the kids were born.

Sleeping In

Frankly, I like sleeping till I awaken and not having to deal with an alarm, but I do miss those morning routines with the kids. And this week one of my triplets graduated with a Zoom call, and the other two are officially graduating next week. 

Leaving the Nest

My wife and I are mourning because we’ve looked forward to this day for years, watching our little birds released from school and ready to move to more self-sufficiency in college. But in spite of the school’s best efforts, a Zoom call graduation was somehow so anticlimactic. There were relatives watching the call, but no gatherings of family flying in, no party, no graduation dinner, and not even a chance to see all the kids our children grew up with one last time. 

Beaming Faces

This moment has made me realize that the absence of ceremony is a casualty of this “hidden enemy.” Though I typically dread moments when I need to put on a suit and tie and sit through hours of mind-numbing content, I’m actually missing it. It would be an absolute joy to see these faces beaming at the prospect of their accomplishments in school and in anticipation of their future. And what a joy to see the faces of kids from Scouts, the playground, from playdates, from band outings, from Halloween and school plays, and so much more. And what a disappointment that we don’t get that closure, knowing we won’t see most of them ever again. 

Missing Touch

Last week we opened our soundstage for the first time for me to shoot an interview with an artist who came in for the shoot, and the ceremony of a handshake, a hug, or even a high five was missing. It somehow felt less meaningful; it does not feel like an actual connection without that touch. The ceremony of the touch is missing. And for the first time, I’ve realized that I can’t really get a feel for someone by just looking into their eyes. That touch somehow makes the connection so much more complete. I’ve also missed it with a couple of visiting friends, where we sit masked, several feet apart, trying to catch up. It feels forced.

Closure is missing in so many areas right now. Closure of one week to the next by starting the week in communion with neighbors in our churches or synagogues and getting fed some inspiration and knowledge. Saying Goodbye

Sadly, families are unable to gather for memorial services for loved ones lost. I cannot imagine the incomplete cycle of life without that closure to say goodbye, to celebrate a life well lived, to laugh and cry together, and to see remaining family members, some of whom we see only for funerals. It’s very empty, and I feel so sad for families who could do nothing at this time.

Sharing Energy

Frankly, I’m missing the ceremony of spreading energy with friends in our events like the Plein Air Convention or the Publisher’s Invitational art retreats, which have had to be rescheduled for later dates. It makes me understand just how important these people are in my life, and how much I miss them, even if I see them just once or twice a year. Video calls are barely a good alternative.

Reinvention

The result of these times is that we’ve all been forced to reinvent. We can’t allow restrictions to prevent our celebrations and our closure. Couples are moving forward with online weddings, there are social gatherings with online cocktail calls and other virtual events. These don’t fill the void of human contact, but they are better than nothing.

Making Better Use of Moments

No one knows what our lives look like a few months in the future, though many are predicting the worst and the best. It’s simply impossible to know yet. But the sooner we can replace normal, the better off we all will be. I can’t wait for parties, having friends over, events, conventions, meetings, handshakes, and hugs. And when the “all clear” signal is transmitted, I plan to go all in and be more social than ever. I’ll make a point to spend more time, and quality time, with friends, and no longer take those special moments for granted.

We all have pent-up demand. And I suspect, if we can, we’ll do more things, be more social, travel more to see family or just to take trips, and it will be like the pleasure of eating an orange for the first time after years of being unable to take a bite.

Now is the time to plan what’s next for each of us. 

What will you do first?

Who do you most want to see?

How will you look at the value of your time together differently?

What do you most want to do?

Some are striking fear by telling us this will return in the fall, or that we may have sudden quarantine weeks for the rest of our lives. Others are saying this never ends. Ever.

I don’t want to believe any of them.

But what if it were true? Or what if you only had the next few months to do everything in your life you’ve always wanted to do? What if you have three months to see everyone you’ve wanted to see in person?

What if you could hold certain people only one last time?

Savor the possibilities, and make your plan.

My guess is that there will come a time when everything is back to the way it was before. Hugs and handshakes included. Even blowing out birthday candles on a cake we later eat. I’m counting on it.

Yet, it’s clear there are no guarantees in life. Therefore, I plan to be ready to pounce. I’m making my list of every event I want to attend, every person I want to see, every conversation I want to have in person, because I don’t want to ever look back in regret. What about you?

Eric Rhoads

PS: In spite of the difficulty of this time in history, each of us has discovered something about ourselves. Most of us have innovated in new ways, reinvented in some ways, and often reinvented the ways we live and work. For some, those new ways make us better and will stick. Others will return to the old ways. Yet I think there have been blessings to come from this, even if nothing more than the appreciation of the freedom we once had and have lost. I now know more than ever just how important freedom of movement is. I also know the power of fear for the first time in my life.

Before you go back to your definition of normal, consider embracing the new you. Do you really want to commute for two hours a day? Do you really want to spend your life in a car or an airplane? Do you really want to go back to all parts of the way things were?

I’d be nervous if I owned office buildings, because a lot of us will no longer want to go to an office. Working from home works. Companies can save money and have found they can survive and in some ways be more efficient.

Make your list of the parts of life you like from quarantine and the things you are no longer willing to do. Quality of life matters more than ever. Focus on quality.

Lots of people have returned or come to art for the first time in their lives. We’ve seen millions of hours streamed of our instruction videos and have had hundreds of thousands discover what we do. We’ve been doing free video samples daily at 3 p.m. (ET) (Facebook or YouTube @StreamlineArtVideo) and I’ve been live daily at 12 noon (ET) (@ericrhoads on Facebook) to try and keep everyone upbeat.

We’re about to discontinue these daily instructional videos, but for now they are still up and you can find them all here.

I should also mention that on June 1 we’re giving away a lovely Joseph McGurl painting to celebrate the anticipated end to quarantine in most areas. You can enter to win at paintgiveaway.com.

And for those who think you have no talent but really wish you could learn to paint, I have made beginner videos for you free at www.paintbynote.com.

A pinkish mist fills the sky and the distant mountain is glowing a vibrant purple. The twisty trees with umbrella-like tops are silhouetted against the eerie light, making them feel like a Sydney Long painting; the only things missing are flute-playing nymphs. 

Looming Overhead

No matter how lovely the scene, a giant dark cloud hovers overhead this morning, a cloud that will be here each Mother’s Day forever. This past week was the one-year anniversary of my mother’s graduation to a better place. Though it’s a week we remember her, celebrate her rich life and her new home, the dark cloud of sadness will never completely lift.

Landing on “Go to Heaven”

I like to think of it as a graduation — life provided the lessons needed here to move to the next level. Some learn the lessons at young ages; others, like my mother, absorb them over 93 years. She would have been 94 on April 8. Life, like a big game board, lands us in a better place once we land on the right square.

Unknown Depths

With a year to think about my mom, to relive special memories of our lives together, and as a parent who understands the depth of sacrifice a mother makes — and as a parent who is about to have three little birdies fly from the nest to college, then life — I can appreciate the sadness and the joy, bundled in a single package of polar opposites, of preparing them to leave.

The Secret Code

No matter how much I think I’ve done as a father, no matter how involved I’ve been, no matter how much I’ve contributed to financial support, my role is a fraction of that of a mother. It’s a special club, with a secret code and a level of intuition that is not given to men. (Though clearly there are men who have to assume that role, and who do so with great dedication.)

Guess How Many

During our first ultrasound, where we saw four babies for the first time (the doctor said the fourth was tiny and would “dissipate”), my wife wondered how she could possibly handle triplets. Yet, in hindsight, she was highly prepared and selected for this role because of it. She had the strength, the guts, the persistence, the organizational skills, and the resolve to pull it off, a task few others could have done so beautifully. 

Little Worms

Not only have these kids been raised with grace and beauty, their tiny beaks have been fed little worms of wisdom to prepare them for the day they fly. Like a fry cook in a busy diner, juggling hundreds of orders a day, it has been intense, a bit hectic at moments, but in the end, everyone got the lessons they needed.

Superhuman Ability

Raising triplets (or more) may be difficult, yet all moms have a task that is beyond anything most men can comprehend. No matter how good we are, moms really do have eyes in the back of their heads and extra arms behind their back. Somehow they can be in 60 places at one time. In fact, science has proven that women have 10 times more neural connectors in their brains, giving them that special intuition. Sorry, men, we can never catch up; they are always a hundred steps ahead of us while we’re still trying to figure out how to do one single thing.

Implanted 

I tried for a moment to think of all the lessons I’ve learned from my mother, but it was an impossible task. They were implanted in me so deeply — like a hard drive was plugged in and downloaded. That’s the gift of motherhood: the download. The moment-by-moment repetition of a thousand different things. It may feel like nagging at times to those who don’t seem to be getting the lessons, but in fact, it’s simply part of the process of imprinting instructions for survival.

Imprinted Deeply

When we’re in the midst of the daily battle to keep them fed, dressed, and learning their lessons, I know many moms who eagerly (yet still reluctantly) look forward to the day they and their children gain their independence. But the role of a mom never stops. And I’ve realized in this past year that my own mom’s role has continued even beyond her death. Just yesterday I spelled out “MISS-I-SS-I-PPI,” and flashed back to the kitchen table where my mom was teaching me how to remember the word. Her encouragement, her big smile, and the moments of every possible lesson flash back to me. Her imprint is here forever. Though she is physically gone, her spirit and her lessons live on.

There Is No Equal

As a husband or as a father, there is no way I can fathom the depth of a mother’s role or her impact. I’ll never be a member of that secret club, will never learn the secret handshake, never know the special code to enter the club. And, like having a secret society keeping things quietly “handled” in the background, I’m OK with that. I’m thankful it exists because I know no matter how good I am, I can never equal the abilities of a mother.

Acknowledgment

Each of us is in a different place this morning. For me, it’s looking back on the memory of my mom. For some, mom has been gone for decades. For others, she is still with you. In all cases, all she wants is a little acknowledgment, a little appreciation. 

As kids, we cannot understand and appreciate the depth of a mother. As adults, we understand it more fully, but it’s not till they are gone that we wish we could have just one more of those warm hugs and loving looks.

If you’ve still got your mom, give her time and attention like it’s the last time you’ll ever see her, because one day, it will be. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: I started writing Sunday Coffee a couple of years ago as a tool to impart life lessons to my kids, who will be leaving the nest soon. It spread after I sent a copy to a friend, who suggested others might also benefit. If you think someone will benefit or enjoy it, pass it on. If you’ve received it from a friend, you can get it in your e-mail inbox weekly by signing up at www.coffeewitheric.com. It’s my gift to you.

Sometimes you’ll see a reference to art, artists, or radio. I make my living as the founder of a little company that produces magazines for the radio and the art industries. You can see everything we do in art by clicking here, or you can go to EricRhoads.com. 

During the quarantine, I’ve been on Facebook (Streamline Art Video) live every day at noon ET to offer encouragement, ideas, and things to keep you growing, entertained, and learning something new. Those updates will continue until the quarantine has been lifted across most of America. (To receive them, click this link and hit subscribe.)

Also, each day at 3 p.m. ET, I’m offering segments of the over 400 art instruction videos we’ve produced. We’ve had over 2 million views. If you love art, want to know how art is made, or know someone who might enjoy it, forward this to them. To gain access to these each day at 3 p.m. ET (during quarantine) go to Facebook, search Streamline Art Video, and hit subscribe (or use this link), or do the same on YouTube (this link). If you’d like to see all the ones we’ve done, you can find them here.

I have a goal of teaching 1 million people to paint, because painting deepens your appreciation for life and beauty. I have free lessons for beginners; just go to www.paintbynote.com and get the free guidebook (which has eight free lessons).

Perky little yellow wildflowers are showing their faces in the bright morning sun. Greens are bright and happy after last night’s bucket brigade of nourishment. My symphony of birdsongs is performing from all directions, as if to say, “It’s spring!”

Not all of life is about birdsong. Sometimes it’s the deadly squawk of a vulture. Horrible, unpleasant things happen to us.

Loss of Love

Looking back on my life, I’ve fallen in love many times, and every time a breakup occurred, I’d be devastated for months, sometimes years. I fall in love deeply, and when it ends, it hits me hard. I feel battered and bruised, as if my parachute didn’t open and I slammed into the ground at the speed of light. But sometimes you have to be pushed or jump out of the plane.

Frequent Failure Miles

I can count the failures, too. I can clearly remember the day my bookkeeper came into my office to tell me, “Eric, you’ll be bankrupt in three weeks.” There was no way out. So I did what any self-respecting businessman would do. I went into my office, laid on the couch in a fetal position, and wept.  I could not see beyond the dark cloud. The business I had been working on for years was out of money.

When I think about the breakups, the failures, the heartbreaks, the failed attempts, and the moments when everything seemed so hopeless, I actually get a physical response — shivers in my shoulders as my head is pushed forward.

Not-So-Comforting Advice

I can also think of all the advice everyone would give me. None of it was very valuable or comforting when I was consumed with the flames and black smoke of worry. How could they possibly know what I’m feeling or going through?

Good Terror

Yet, as I take an inventory of my life, I’m grateful for those moments of terror. I’m grateful for four recessions. I am grateful for losing all my money. I’m grateful for losing a marriage. I’m grateful for every bad thing that ever happened to me.

It’s easy to say it now, looking back. At the moment, it’s not so easy, because we can’t yet see the lessons to come. But they always come.

Grateful for COVID-19

I know this is going to sound awful, but I’m grateful for the coronavirus. Though it has been devastating, has resulted in deaths and financial ruin for much of the world, I’m grateful because it’s making us stronger, it’s forcing us to be more creative, it’s making us consider alternatives we never before would have considered. I dare say it’s even going to make us more prosperous, even though it’s wiped out many of us financially.

Unexpected Response

Every couple of days I’ll get a text from someone: “How are you holding up?” And my response is “terrific” or “fantastic.” These people know my business has crumbled and is barely standing, like the Parthenon, and they expect me to be down. But the good news is that it’s still standing — and the Parthenon is the most visited tourist attraction in Greece. It’s an attraction because it crumbled and was once magnificent, and it stands for what once was, and what could be.

A Big Dark Bag

Yes, I’m wounded, yes, I’m concerned, but my family is alive and healthy, and this forced time together has brought us closer. And the need to take action and find some way to pay some of the bills has forced me and others on my team to reach deep into the bottom of a big dark bag and pull out creative solutions that will end up being fresh, new solutions to old problems.

On this day of resurrection, let us not cling to the bad. Let us cling to the hope, the new life that comes from the destruction of the old.

The End of the Storm

I’m convinced that as we awaken today, new hope will be revealed within each of us. I believe the world will see a resurrection. A giant dark storm has covered the world, and a fresh new morning of bright, shining light will make this world better, make us more loving, kinder, and more aware of the encouraging things we’ve discovered about ourselves and each other.

Sometimes we need to be slapped in the face, kicked in the stomach, and thrown to the ground to realize that something needs to change, and that it would never have occurred without the pain.

Operating on Fear

I refuse to cling to the dark side of the story. I’m sad about it, but I refuse to be controlled by it. And I’m not going to buy into the fear and believe for a moment that this is going to continue for weeks, months, or decades. Nothing will drag me out of the comfortable pool of optimism. I refuse to dip into the stormy sea of doubt and fear. I’ll deal with the reality of each day, and reject any predictions of a future no one on earth can predict with accuracy. As my therapist friend says, “Only worry about the next 15 minutes. You can’t control much more than that. Why torture yourself?”

Your Assignment

I’m going to ask you to do something today. I never ask anything of you. But today, it’s a big ask. I want you to go deep into your mind, reach in, and yank the dark poison out of your head, and spend today … just today … believing in a resurrection from this situation, believing in hope, and keeping your head out of the poison. And, after today, if it felt good, add just one more day, then another.

Can we manifest ourselves out of this difficult time? Maybe, maybe not, but having a full day of peace and no worry is better than a day of worry and angst.

You and I are under observation. Our families, our communities, our friends, our colleagues are watching us, how we respond, and the leadership we can provide. Everyone is looking for hope. Maybe you can provide it, giving them a much-needed day of peace.

Unintentional Purpose

I spoke to my dear old friend Lisa on Thursday and she said, “Eric, I needed this. You’ve lifted my spirit and pulled my head out of my fear.” She was in a black vortex, spinning down into a hopeless dark place. I don’t know why I called her, I did not know she needed to be lifted, and honestly, I didn’t even do it intentionally. But that’s why thoughts come into our minds to connect with others. We have purpose.

The Tale of Rescue

There is an old story, one you’ve no doubt heard before. A man was stuck on his rooftop praying to God for help. Soon a man in a rowboat came by and offered to rescue him. “No, thank you, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me,” the stranded man said. Then a motorboat came by and offered. “No, thank you, God is going to save me.” Then a helicopter came and the pilot said “Grab the rope.” But the stranded man said, “God is going to save me.” Soon the flood waters rose, and the man drowned. And when he entered Heaven and met God, he said, “God, why didn’t you save me? I had faith in you but you let me drown. I don’t understand why.” And God replied, “I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat, and a helicopter. What more did you expect?”

In the Foxhole Together

There is an old saying that “There are no atheists in foxholes” — not in the middle of a war when bullets are flying around your head. You, me, and the world are in the foxhole together. We have to save one another. And we need to be tuned in to grab the lessons this is providing us and the help placed in front of us that we’re simply too blind to see. To everything, there is a purpose. Don’t wait for it, look for it.

And remember: The comeback is going to be greater than the setback.

Stay strong. Stay calm. Breathe deeply. It may feel dark, but the sun always comes up. Look for the resurrection.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I thought staying at home would give me more time to do the things I’ve been wanting to do. Though there has been a little of that, me and the remaining crew have been putting in 12-hour days so we can keep you engaged, informed, distracted, and entertained. Since this began we’ve created and published 21 art instruction segments, at least 21 hours of content. Plus we’ve conducted interviews with experts to help you. Below, I’m listing all the things we’re offering, in hopes you can make good use of them. 

Use this time to grow, learn new things, challenge yourself, and make yourself better. 

Here is a sample of the current issue of PleinAir magazine for your enjoyment: click here. If you like it, we’re offering a 30% discount now! You can subscribe here.

I also go live every day at noon Eastern on my Eric Rhoads Facebook page, which you can follow. (Sorry, no friend slots available.) 

Important for everyone to watch: 

• Lee Milteer: Managing Your Mindset
• Stephanie Few: What you need to know about government assistance for artists, galleries, and small businesses.
• Stephanie Few: Financial help for artists and galleries
• Jay Abraham: Survival for artists and galleries.
• Jean Stern: Artist Survival Strategies
• Free Painting Lessons for Beginners: www. PaintByNote.com
• Gallery Profile: Rehs Gallery
• Daniel Greene, N.A. Memorium (1934-2020) FACE 2019 Lifetime Achievement Award Recipient
• Free video segments daily via Facebook Live:

Goosebumps pop up on my arms as cold air blasts me when I open the old screen door to the porch. The long, wet painted floor planks with peeling paint reflect the sky, and the distant fog has turned the mountain a light gray-purple color, barely visible. Wet spring greens contrast brightly against the dark sky. Carefully, I make my way to my favorite experience — sitting under the long porch roof during fierce rain and thunder. As a child, we had no porch, but we would roll up the garage door to sit and enjoy storms, and every time it thundered, we would say that God was bowling.

Counting my blessings this morning, knowing that being cooped up with a wooded backyard and a neighbor with 40 acres helps me cope with knowing others are stuck in a tiny apartment and can’t even go for a walk for fear of infecting or being infected. Last night this masked, gloved hombre risked his life driving three minutes down the road to pick up a bottle of wine to make our Saturday feel a little more special. It’s the first I’ve been in the car for two weeks. Even though I only encountered a clerk behind glass, and washed down the wine bottle while still gloved, it was almost more risk than I should have taken. 

No matter how much disaster preparation I’ve done to be ready over the past decades, I never anticipated this. But staying home is a small price to pay to keep from infecting someone or being infected. 

What good could possibly come of this?

My reaction, my fear, my concern for others, and the sadness of watching Facebook friends post sad news of family members and friends who are ill or worse, makes me want to default to depression. But I refuse to give in — reminding me of the famous Churchill quote about never giving up or giving in.

Important Perspective

When we keep our perspective, it helps. Churchill made that speech while England was being bombed continuously. By September 7, 1940, London had been bombed for 56 out of 57 days, and for over nine months. People were not only stuck in their homes or in bomb shelters, lights had to be out; food was in short supply; factories were not only shut down, most were destroyed; and in the nine months of bombing, 43,000 people died. And though the death toll of COVID-19 is staggering, at least we’re not having the stress of bombs rattling our neighborhoods and wondering if we’ll be randomly killed. I can’t imagine that stress. 

I decided to look up that famous speech … and share a couple of passages. 

“We must learn to be equally good at what is short and sharp and what is long and tough. It is generally said that the British are often better at the last. They do not expect to move from crisis to crisis; they do not always expect that each day will bring up some noble chance of war; but when they very slowly make up their minds that the thing has to be done and the job put through and finished, then, even if it takes months — if it takes years — they do it…

“As Kipling well says, we must ‘…meet with Triumph and Disaster/And treat those two impostors just the same.’

“You cannot tell from appearances how things will go. Sometimes imagination makes things out far worse than they are; yet without imagination, not much can be done. Those people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist; certainly many more than will happen; but then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this far-reaching imagination. But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period — I am addressing myself to the School — surely from this period of 10 months this is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never — in nothing, great or small, large or petty — never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. We stood all alone a year ago, and to many countries it seemed that our account was closed, we were finished. All this tradition of ours, our songs, our School history, this part of the history of this country, were gone and finished and liquidated.

“Very different is the mood today. Britain, other nations thought, had drawn a sponge across her slate. But instead our country stood in the gap. There was no flinching and no thought of giving in; and by what seemed almost a miracle to those outside these Islands, though we ourselves never doubted it, we now find ourselves in a position where I say that we can be sure that we have only to persevere to conquer.

“Do not let us speak of darker days: let us speak rather of sterner days. These are not dark days; these are great days — the greatest days our country has ever lived; and we must all thank God that we have been allowed, each of us according to our stations, to play a part in making these days memorable in the history of our race.”

Winston Churchill, October 29, 1941, Harrow School

As we sit quietly in quarantine, it’s important to keep our perspective to manage our fear. We can certainly tolerate the stress of watching movies on Netflix, reading a few extra books, or having deeper, more meaningful time with family members or video calls with friends.

Embrace It

Though I don’t like my station in life at the moment, I’m embracing it for what it is. My business may be crumbling and my laid-off employees are suffering, as are over 6 million out-of-work Americans. We’re all wondering if our world will ever see daylight again, if we’ll ever be able to pay our mortgages or rent, if we’ll be masked forever. 

Finding Ourselves

I don’t think life will ever be the same. Yes, we will return to a new normal, but we have each grown from this experience and taken hold of something from this that has enriched or informed our lives. We’re seeing how strong we can be. We are discovering things about ourselves we did not know. Those with businesses, myself included, are discovering new ways to do business, which will continue after the all-clear.

Newfound Benefits

Of course, none of us wanted this to happen, but each of us will be better off for it in some way. This has strengthened our marriage, given us more time together, kept our busy teenage triplets at home, and we’re seeing them playing, doing projects, and involved in things they had no time for before. They’ve been forced to be creative, to grow. And while their last few months at home would have been them spending no time with us, off with their friends, we’re getting the gift of time with them. Deep, rich time.

Imagination

I’m so impressed with human ingenuity, watching friends do things they never would have imagined. Their imaginations are on fire to develop solutions to help others, to expose their enterprises, to survive, and those innovations will make them stronger in the long run.

I’m also impressed with how we are coming together as a people. We share this fear, this problem, this quarantine, with the world. Because of some of the initiatives I’ve been forced to come up with, I’m meeting and chatting with people around the world. They are helping me, I am helping them. I realized after talking with a new acquaintance, an artist in Iran, his issues and my issues and concerns are the same. I’m realizing we have more in common than not. We’re connected by our passion for art.

Advice from a Therapist

We each have different viewpoints on this crisis. Some predict it will never really end, others predict a lull and then a resurgence, while others feel it will all be over rapidly. We don’t know. My friend Leslie, a therapist, suggested I tell people to watch enough news to be informed, but don’t become obsessed with it to the point that you start scaring yourself more than you should be. Worry about what you can change, not what you can’t change, and stay in the present. Are you safe now? Change what you can change in the next 15 minutes. Don’t ruminate about six months or a year from now. I thought it was valuable advice. I would add, find something to look forward to, something to get you excited, something you can learn at home, a project you can take on.

Don’t Look Back with Regret

As I was walking into my office last night, seeing piles of projects I’ve been meaning to get to one day, I realized one day has to be now or it won’t come. I don’t want to look back and realize I had endless hours wasted on social media when I could have been checking projects off the list.

You’ve learned that you are stronger than you realize. You’ve learned so much about yourself. Be thankful for this time because you may never have learned those things. There truly is a silver lining to this dark cloud.

Be strong.

Be creative.

Resolve to make the best of this.

Connect deeply to those around you.

Reconnect with people you normally don’t have time to talk to.

This is a golden hour. It will come to an end. Maybe soon, maybe not, but it will have an end. When that end comes, you’ll be busier than ever.

Take advantage of this time.

Godspeed.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I’ve been trying to help in any way I can. Trying to help those in my tribe have tools to get through this, and things to do. I’ve listed them below. Make good use of them.

For those who want to learn to paint, but don’t feel they have talent/can’t even draw a stick figure: free lessons at www.paintbynote.com.

For those who want to watch top artists at work, see how they paint or draw, get into their heads, we’re doing a Facebook Live daily at 3 p.m. Eastern. And all the past content is shown on that page. Go here.

I’m doing a daily update (mostly for artists) daily at noon Eastern on Facebook Live. I’m out of friend slots, but you can follow me to get these. Go here.

An interview done by Jean Stern with me about what artists and galleries can do to survive.  Watch it here.

An interview I did with Jay Abraham, the $100,000-a-day marketing consultant on what artists and galleries can do to survive. See it here. It’s also posted on my ArtMarketingMinute blog and my PleinAir Podcast.

An interview I did with Jay Abraham that every business person and small-business person in the world should watch about the opportunity at this time. See it here.

My art stimulus package. Here’s how it works: Artists and galleries will post links to their paintings or websites on their social media and tag it with #buyartnow. People who want to buy art to help them survive can put #buyartnow into the search on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or Twitter and browse through what others have posted. 

On Tuesday I’ll be interviewing business guru Lee Milteer about what she thinks you can do to take advantage of this crisis. Watch for it on my Facebook.

My team is working around the clock to come up with new ideas and implement these things. YAY, TEAM!! Thank you.

If you want to support our efforts, here are some links to products we offer:

Art instruction videos:

• www.streamlineartvideo.com
• www.liliartvideo.com
• www.ccpvideos.com

Events:

• www.pleinairconvention.com
• www.figurativeartconvention.com
• www.publishersinvitational.com
• www.fallcolorweek.com
• www.paintrussia.com
• www.radioforecast.com
• www.hispanicradioconference.com

Magazines (maybe you need a subscription)

• RadioInk.com
• Radio + Television Business Report
• Fine Art Connoisseur
• PleinAir Magazine

Free Newsletters

• Fine Art Today
• Realism Today
• American Watercolor
• Plein Air Today

Social Media Links

• My Facebook
• My Instagram
• Realism Today: Instagram or Facebook
• PleinAir Mag:  Instagram or Facebook
• Radio Ink
• Radio + Television Business Report

Products:

• EaselBrushClip.com

Websites: 

• EricRhoads.com
• CoffeeWithEric.com
• FineArtConnoisseur.com
• OutdoorPainter.com
• PaintByNote.com
• PaintOutside.com
• PleinAirForce.com 
• RadioInk.com
• RBR.com

Tiny buds with the colors of spring are popping out on the tops of the hundred-year-old twisted oaks. A view of the distant mountain shows dark patches of trees with bright new growth creating a patchwork pattern. The air is balmy and fresh, the songbirds are loudly celebrating the arrival of spring, and the distant cattle are munching on tasty new wildflowers. Life is good.

Spring comes after a harsh winter or a mild winter. But it always comes. The cycles continue and always will. And when spring comes, we get out and enjoy it and rapidly forget just how harsh the winter has been. Instead, we enjoy life a little more once we get outside after being cooped up.

Patterns of Downturns

Amazingly, there have been about 47 economic downturns in the history of America, and after each of these winters, spring always came. Sometimes it roars in like a lion, other times it creeps in like a lamb, but it always comes.

Clearly I don’t want to make light of the absolutely frightening moment in history we, the residents of the world, are living through. This virus has already touched my life, in the sense that I actually know a couple of people who have had it. One recovered fully, one did not. And it has impacted all of our lives.

The Great Depression?

Growing up, my father often told us stories of growing up in the Great Depression. He has both fond memories and some that cause pain to think about. The hard ones were the humiliation of having to move out of their house and rent it out in order to pay the mortgage, and having to move in with family members, being treated badly and subjected to hard labor on the farm. No matter how much I try to envision this, I cannot relate, because I grew up in a time where my parents sheltered us from whatever was going on at the moment. Though there were some bad recessions, and I’m sure some difficult financial challenges, we kids never really knew. There was always food on the table, a smile on their faces, and encouragement.

Marked by This Moment

Everyone alive on this earth today will be marked by this moment in time, a time that will be part of our stories for the lifetime ahead. Some of us have been severely wounded financially, others wounded by tragic losses of family, and all of us wounded by fear of the unknown. At this moment in time, none of us knows what happens next. While some predict the worst, others predict the best. We have to choose who and what we want to believe. Being the optimist, I’m hoping for the best, but ready to step up as needed for the worst, knowing I, or someone I love or care about, could be the next victim.

Self-Help?

So how are we to process all this? Hundreds of pop psychologists and self-help specialists are all over the media telling us how to cope. “We’re in a state of shock,” says one. “You’re experiencing PTSD,” says another, while someone else says, “If you’re down, you’re grieving.”

I’m sure each of us is seeing it differently. I’m certainly not expert enough to offer psychological advice.

My wife created a meme that went viral. It said, “Our grandparents were asked to send their children to war. We’re being asked to stay home for a few weeks. Let’s keep things in perspective.”

I thought it was good advice. 

Again, not to make light of the businesses that lost their incomes (my own included), those who had to lay off people (we did), and those who have been laid off — or worse, who can’t get unemployment because of what they do for a living. Artists, for instance, can’t get unemployment, though they make their living from selling art. Maybe they can get SBA loans. Let’s hope.

Flipping a Switch

Like many of you, I found myself down, worried, and wondering how I was going to feed my kids and even send them to college. I was ruminating about the worst, and I noticed it was driving me into a deeper funk. I was getting more and more depressed, I wanted to sleep later and later, and it was impacting how I felt. If this kept up, I feared I’d not be able to recover, that I’d worry myself into a frenzy, possibly destroying my health with my state of mind.

But that was not acceptable.

Then I had a moment of clarity (stimulated by a nice brisk walk) … I can’t rely on anyone but myself to pull myself out of the ashes of fear, and fear isn’t serving me well. So I just told myself to “stop it.”

It actually was that simple. My resolve overcame my self-pity.

Then I recorded a call with Jay Abraham about what artists need to do to survive.

When I finished with that call, my physiology was completely changed. 

Because of Jay’s perspective, and because of a talk I had with my dad, I realized that this downturn, this quarantine, this disruption of the world could be the best thing that ever happened to me.

How can that be?

I had to call on my inner self and realize that I have a responsibility to lift others up, to help them change their physiology, and to help them see the opportunity in this. So I started stepping up. I gathered the remaining staff who had not been laid off and redeployed them on things we could do to help … like daily videos with art instruction to help people make good use of their time, like articles to help draw attention to our advertisers even more, like videos to help give advice on how to make this into a profitable time.

Like the Song… a New Attitude

Suddenly, I was on fire with energy. In fact, knowing I had been down, my caring friend and assistant Ali phoned me “just to see how you’re doing.” My response was “Fantastic!” — and I meant it.

I had a shift of thinking. Instead of being woeful, I am hopeful. Instead of worrying, I’m taking action. Instead of being down, I’m more up than I’ve been in a long time. It happened instantly by changing my perspective.

I can’t do it for you or those you love. But anyone can do it for themselves. Even if it’s not real. There is an old saying, “Fake it till you make it.” And a funny thing happens when you pretend to be upbeat … you actually become upbeat.

Evidence Does Exist

I’m told there is evidence that mindset changes our cells and impacts our health. I’ve always believed it. I’ve never seen the evidence, but I’ve lived it. Our minds control 85 percent of everything in our lives — especially our responses to things, how we look at things.

Pour Out Your Brain on Paper

What if you took a big yellow pad and wrote numbers 1 through 50 on it and forced yourself to come up with 50 ways you could benefit from what is going on now. It won’t happen fast, you’ll have to really stretch, but write down everything. Don’t judge your ideas, just get them down. And chances are, you’ll hit a gold nugget when you review your notes.

I’m Not Buying In

There is no doubt this is a frightening time, but I refuse to allow myself to be frightened. I refuse to allow my days to be ruined by being down. What if they are my last days? Do I want to live them badly? No way. Nor do I want to be remembered as a Negative Nelly. Most important, my brain needs me to focus on hope and the great things that will come out of this time. I can tell you my family is a lot closer and my kids are doing things they’ve not done in years because of their boredom. It does my heart good to see it.

You and I are defined not by how we are when things are perfect. We’re defined by our actions when things are awful. I’ve seen some pretty upset, frightened people who have allowed this time to turn them into brave social media monsters. I’m sure they are nice people, but fear is getting the best of them. I refuse to let it get the best of me. Remember, the only thing to fear is fear itself. Finally I understand that.

On the other side of this, our world will be different. I don’t know how, but I suspect we will all have to adjust to some new ways of thinking about things. And, chances are, things will be better in some ways and maybe worse in others. We will adapt.

Just know it’s OK…

It’s OK to be scared.

It’s OK to be worried.

It’s OK to be concerned.

But it’s not OK to let it destroy you.

One day soon … maybe by Easter, maybe by summer, maybe by fall … no one knows … the window will close and this virus will no longer be a threat and our economy will ramp up again. Maybe fast, maybe slow. But winter will be over and spring will be here, and in spite of all this, we’ll all be better on the other side.

Think about how many times you wished you could just take a few weeks off to do nothing. Your wish came true. Make good use of it, because the pace will increase and we may not get this opportunity again.

Yes, it is an opportunity. It just depends on the lens you’re looking through.

Stay well. Be strong. And know that winter will be over soon.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I’m a small-business guy. I’ve owned my small business for almost three decades. I’ve had periods where I’ve gone seven years without a paycheck, eating peanut butter to survive. I’ve had moments where I actually made enough money to buy a used car, or get a nicer apartment, and even some times when I was able to put some money away for a rainy day.

Being a business owner, big or small, has its pros and cons. The cons are always that there are times when you have to make decisions that disrupt people’s lives. Maybe someone had to go because they were doing a bad job, or sometimes it was because we could not afford to pay them. But each time we have to make a decision about the lives of the people we work with, it’s met with lots of sleepless nights, often some tears, and a lot of discussion to figure out a better way.

It’s popular to beat up on people who own businesses for the decisions they make. Sometimes for good reason, but other times because we have not walked in their shoes. I am convinced that there are some big evil companies and executives in the world, but most are just people who got sick of working for a jerk and started their own business, putting everything at risk.

Today, we’re hearing the stories. We’re realizing that the lady who owns the fancy restaurant down the road is in debt up to her waist and won’t survive. We’re finding out that the companies we’ve been doing business with are barely making it anyway and now cannot go on. We will see thousands of businesses go away — many we don’t want to see go away. People you thought had big bank accounts and big images are living week to week or deeply in debt.

Watch for the stories. Do what you can to aid these people by throwing them a takeout order or buying a gift card if you can.  Don’t think it won’t make a difference, and don’t worry about whether you’ll lose your investment if they don’t make it. Our local smoothie chain had to close 12 of 14 stores and is begging for people to order smoothies and pick them up. These are people who have put their lives into their businesses so they can serve us. Sure, they want to make a profit and live in a nice house and drive a nice car, but customers are what keeps them going. And if you can help out the workers in any way — people may not have had enough to get through the week, let alone the month — do something, anything. You don’t need anything in return. It could be you (maybe it is you).

We’re trying to bring income in our own doors and commissions to our artists by making people aware of our videos that train people to draw and paint (we have over 400 of them). Each day at 3 p.m. Eastern, we’re putting up at least an hour of training and interviews with artists. It’s our way of helping, but thankfully a few people like the samples and buy them. It’s my way of keeping people employed. If you want to see the videos, click this link to the Streamline Art Video Facebook page and hit “follow.” You’ll find them there, and you’ll see the live ones each afternoon at 3.

Stay strong. Winter is almost over.

My feet tingle as they hit the cold, wet deck of the covered porch that goes the length of the front and back of this “Texas farmhouse.” Pussy willows reach for the sky with their arms out in praise, their soft buttons of fur standing out in contrast against the darkness of the woods behind them. A Christmas amaryllis in full bloom adds a splash of red color against the greens of spring as though it’s Christmas again. Crunching leaves of fall remain interlaced with new blades of grass, and Texas wildflowers start to show their cheery faces as the old tree at the edge of the property blooms with white blossoms. A roar of rain slamming into the tin roof drowns out the distant birdsongs.

There is simply no feeling quite as good as spring. Winters, even the short and warmer ones like this year’s, are always long, and we await the new season with hope and anticipation.

Fields of Flowers

Yesterday, Laurie and I were explorers on a quest for fields of bluebonnets. Roadsides here are covered with them, thanks to Lady Bird Johnson, who had seeds handed out with license plates and encouraged Texans to spread the seeds along roadsides. The viral effect created roads of beauty, a Texas tradition we all look forward to. Kids in their Sunday best are photographed among the fields of flowers each year as an Easter tradition.

Massive Snow Drifts

When I lived in Indiana as a child, winter provided a much-needed rest from the activity of the rest of the year. Snowdrifts the size of houses would keep us inside by the fieldstone fireplace, other than a few frozen adventures to tunnel out and build snow forts where we would lob ice orbs at one another.

A Crafty Lady

We learned to be creative, to fill the time with projects — some productive and useful, like cleaning out indoor spaces in need of decluttering, and others more creative. My mom would sit for hours between meals cutting fabric to cover shoes, make hats, and sew clothes. She was the first to place a paintbrush in my hand as if to give me a life mission I did not yet know I had. We would sit together for hours, talking and painting.

The Baggy Green Sweater

One year Mom asked me to pick out some yarn for a sweater she would knit. I picked out bright green fuzzy mohair, which seemed like a good idea at the time. The end result was oversized (so I could grow into it), baggy, and made me look like a giant green blob from Mars. I can still see the pride in her eyes seeing me wear it to school, yet as soon as I was at my locker, it came off — then back on again before going home. I was embarrassed to be seen in it. I tear up just thinking about how hard she worked on that sweater for me, the love that went into it, and my deception so my friends wouldn’t see me wearing it. I think she eventually found out, which would have broken her heart.

My fondest memories of my great childhood are about the downtime, the simple times of crafting at the dining room table, being with family when the fireplace was crackling, and playing long games of Monopoly.

Last week I mentioned silver linings, and this time of quarantine is an opportunity to reconnect, to have downtime to play, to make memories, to engage with your family.

A Little Embarrassed

Remember when the media frenzy called Y2K had many of us ready for the end of the world? I have special memories of the family being sequestered together in a cabin on a frozen lake, a memory that is special to this day. Though nothing came of Y2K and we look back a little embarrassed at taking the bait, it’s hard to know what looking back over COVID-19 will be like. But we could look back on the best parts, when we were forced to be inside with family.

What can you do to make this time the most special in the memory bank of your family?

What can you do to communicate messages your family needs to hear… family legacy, the stories of the past?

What lessons can we impart to our families? Not lectures, but stories with lessons built-in?

As the cases amplify and more is learned as more are tested, we can focus on the bad, or we can focus on the things we can influence or change. Let’s use this time to strengthen our relationships and build lifetime memories.

One day soon we’ll be looking back, probably a little embarrassed that we filled our garages with toilet paper, but we’ll cherish the time we were imprisoned indoors.

Yes, this too shall pass.

Be strong, but be deliberate. Don’t let this opportunity pass; it’s a chance to create a lifetime memory.

Eric Rhoads

Opening the squeaky green screen door to the old porch, I’m expecting a jolt of frigid air, but instead I’m met with the sound of palm trees gently blowing in the warm breeze. Yes, spring is here, and judging by yesterday, it may be an early summer.

Speaking of palm trees, this week is Spring Break, and our plans to escape to a hidden tropical paradise have been replaced by a staycation. It’s just not worth the risk of infecting or being infected. So, to give my lovely bride the week off she hoped for, the kids and I have agreed to cook all the meals for the week. And since we’re staying put, we have time. 

This week I’ve been pondering what I might say today in light of what our world, and our country, are facing. It’s not an easy task, because ignoring the situation and pretending it does not exist would not be prudent. On the other hand, overreaction and panic aren’t very pleasing either.

A Rant

I have to say that I’m highly disturbed by the irresponsibility of the media, and their bloodthirsty taste for ratings. They are so driven to drive ratings and ad dollars that they don’t realize they have pushed the country into overreaction, where hoarding is taking place so others cannot get essentials, and they are placing millions of jobs at risk because of this overreaction. I’m a little ashamed of them at the moment. They have us on the edge of our seats, as if our very survival depends on their next report. It sickens me.

I’m also concerned about the lack of civility among some people during this crisis. Panic is simply not necessary. 

We never really know how we’re going to react to a situation until we face it. 

The Higher Road

Laurie and I learned that recently during the cardiac arrest of our son Brady, who almost did not survive. In spite of our tears, our fear, our panic, our need for answers, we both surprised ourselves with how cool and collected we managed to be in spite of it being the worst day of our lives as parents. Though we were jolted into it in a moment, we managed to stay civilized, cordial, grateful, and appreciative to others even though we wanted to scream. That showed volumes to our other kids, who looked to us for how to respond. We’re being responsible and not panicking in this situation as well.

When I was a child, I was terribly afraid of tornadoes. They came almost instantly, with no warning, and would devastate a community within minutes. As an adult I always said I’d rather live in a hurricane zone, because they could have three or more days’ notice.

A Word We Never Thought We Would Speak

Now you and I are faced with a pandemic — words we never believed we would be uttering in our lifetime. Something we believed happened in the old days, when medicine was less sophisticated. Yet this is a hurricane, not a tornado. In other words, we know it’s coming, we know it could be horrific, but we have some time to prepare ourselves. Time to prepare is a silver lining in this dark cloud.

Silver Lining to a Dark Cloud

I’m no expert, but I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on, and the most important action we can take to prevent the spread is voluntary isolation from others. That means avoiding places where you could spread a virus you don’t know you have, and avoiding coming into contact with it yourself. I’ve spoken to friends in Italy, and they reinforce that need for dramatic action. It turns out that many are loving the time with family, the time to reconnect, and a chance to be home. Again, a silver lining. But gatherings of any size at this moment are simply irresponsible. We don’t have a clue who is a carrier. You or I could be and would not know it.

While others are screaming “Fire!” in a crowded theater, my goal is to be a voice of reason, to let you know that everything is going to be OK. Though there will be some difficult moments, the actions to reduce the spread are actions that may get us on the other side of this nightmare sooner.

You Are Strong

I want you to know that you are strong and that you can step up and handle things that you never believed you could handle. There will be a day, probably in the not-too-distant future, in which this pandemic will be over, and we’ll look back knowing we made it through. It’s important to keep our eyes on that day, because the worst days could feel pretty grim.

Drinking Battery Acid

Keep in mind that fear and panic are the enemies of your fellow man, and of your own health. My health coach tells me the immune system is damaged by fear, panic, and stress. The best way to keep your immune system strong is to keep stress at a minimum, get lots of exercise, eat well, take your supplements (according to him, large doses of C and D3 are important in this case), drink lots of water, and keep your attitude in check. Try to keep a smile on your face — it changes your physiology. And worry serves no purpose. In fact, worry is like drinking battery acid: It’s toxic to your health.

Instead of freaking out when there are announcements of actions being taken, I’m embracing these actions. As far as I’m concerned, the sooner we shut everything down and isolate us all from one another, the sooner we’ll see the sun again. 

Meanwhile, I’m making some welcome changes in my lifestyle. Though I go to the gym daily, I’m now avoiding it. Instead of a treadmill, I’m taking walks. Instead of lifting weights, I’ve decided to use some of this time to lift some heavy boxes in the garage to the trash. And instead of risking exposure at a yoga studio, I’m watching yoga on YouTube and doing it with our two dogs. It’s important to keep exercising to ward off disease.

I refuse to panic. I’m probably the only American who didn’t stock up on toilet paper. I refuse to be the guy who keeps others from getting the reasonable amount they need. I refuse to be selfish.

My friend C.W. Mundy sent this to me today, and it really says it all, whether or not you consider yourself a spiritual or religious person. The message is powerful:

“Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope: where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

“Oh, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.”
— St. Francis of Assisi

What to Do When You’re Down

As a result of this virus I’ve caught myself “down” and “worried” a couple of times, but then I remind myself that these feelings can only make everything worse. In the past I’ve discussed the critical role attitude plays and how science has confirmed that attitude impacts your cells. So when you slip into those moments of angst, no matter what’s happening, just remember you’ve had difficult moments in the past and you will get through this. No matter what happens.

Unknown Future

I don’t want to make light of this event. It’s difficult for all of us. I’ve had to cancel a business event we had planned for next week, which hurts my business financially. And, because most of my business is based on events and travel, I have no idea what my future looks like. But fear, panic, and stress won’t allow me to make clear decisions, so I’m working hard to avoid stress. I highly recommend you avoid it too. Sometimes we have to accept that things are out of our control.

Don’t Be Controlled

Remember that you have a choice about how you react or respond. The news media loves us in a panic so we’ll “tune in” every other moment to feed our fear. It’s great for their ratings and advertising incomes. Sadly, it’s not great for us. Though some will argue we need to be informed and take notice (true), we can do that without the drama and panic. Keep those stress levels under control. Why die of a heart attack or stroke while you’re stressing about how not to die from coronavirus?

Let’s all make the best out of a bad situation. Seek out the silver linings, and have confidence that you are doing all you can do to prevent exposure or infecting others. I’ll not go into the science because you can read it in a thousand places. 

Oh, and one more thing. 

Say It Now

I was due to be in China this week (I just returned from Russia last week), and one of the watercolor masters I was going to meet with has passed away from the virus. There is a strong chance that you’ll know people who will also pass away, so there is no better time than now to reinforce your love for those in your life. Hope for the best, but don’t look back wishing you had done more, or said what needed to be said.

Feeding Panic

People will tell you the sky is falling, the world is ending, the economy is crashing — and the signs we’re seeing would lead anyone to believe it. Don’t take the bait. Don’t feed the panic machine. Remember to use calm, sound judgment, and clear thought. This will allow you to deal with anything.

Be There for Them

And don’t forget that this may be harder on others than it is on you. School closings mean moms or dads who work in hospitals won’t be able to work. Hospital workers in Italy are exhausted after weeks of going without sleep in order to save lives. Tens of thousands of jobs are being lost overnight because events or flights are cancelled. It’s not all about me, it’s not all about you. It’s about our community, our friends, our country, our world. We’re all in this together. People need you to listen, to console, to understand, and to love.

We are defined by moments like this, both as individuals and as nations. Who do you choose to be?

Godspeed.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Sunday Coffee is read by over a quarter million people every week because you have generously shared it with people you love. I want to thank you. When we’re in a media-centered world that drives fear, my goal is to be a contrarian, to let others know there is another way, a reasonable, responsible response to life.