If I inhale deeply, my lungs are filled with the freshest air I’ve ever experienced, along with the scent of pine. This forest, hundreds of acres behind my Adirondack home, is old growth, much of it never cut, with trees that two of us cannot join our hands around, some exceeding 600 years of age. Twigs snap as I walk through the trail, and I hit an occasional patch of mud from the rains, making my way carefully across, jumping from logs to moss-covered rocks.

Forest Bathing

In Japan, they encourage people to take time off work to go “forest bathing.” The combination of fresh air and the visual of dark woods, deep greens along with fresh spring greens, pine needles, peeling bark on soft, worn pathways, is deeply good for our souls. Our home, built in 1894, was built from these trees, and sits on a patch of land between the forest and the lake. Our summer life feels ideal. Fresh air, fresh water, playtime, and family around us. Our bath of forest and lake time lasts through the summer and fall, and the rejuvenation I receive lasts me through the tough winter months of life. 

A Spoiled Child

At times I feel a little spoiled, with all this beauty around me. It started when I was a kid. I can look back to my childhood, when we had advantages our cousins did not have, and I once overheard my aunt say, “Those kids are spoiled.” I did not believe it at the time, but looking back, she was right.

Sheltered

And I’ve done a little too much spoiling myself. I can see the mistakes I’ve made as a parent, and those my parents made with us. We all gave a lot. But much of what they gave, with good intentions, probably did us no favors and prolonged important lessons on independence and self-reliance. My perspective on life was skewed because I was sometimes sheltered from painful lessons.

Child Labor

As boys, we were put to work at my dad’s business. I worked in the mailroom and learned to run a printing press. My brothers worked in the un-air-conditioned factory, assembling products. We put on our little suits and shook hands at trade shows. My dad would bring us into serious business meetings with clients or employees, and even at 8 or 10, would ask our opinions on things. And after the meeting he would ask, “What did you learn?” As a result, business came naturally to me as an adult. None of us liked it, but it was smart of him to do this.

Problems = Growth

Yet I never grew up until I had problems. My dad funded my first serious business venture, which speedily got me into the business world. I became privileged and a little too arrogant and full of myself, when in reality I was only born lucky. But when problems arose, he stepped back. Problems belonged to me, and I could get advice, but if I needed money, I was told no. I was told, “You have to figure this out.” It made me mad. But I actually had to figure it out.

Where Addicts Come From

Talking with some acquaintances who are coaches for addicted people, one told me, “Most of my clients have addictions because they never had any problems, or had all their problems solved for them. They weren’t allowed to make mistakes on their own. As a result, there is a giant addiction problem. These kids have low self-esteem because they were never allowed to solve their own problems. Parents mean well. But when you can’t solve your own problems, you have nothing on which to base your self-esteem.”

Parents Who Protect

“We make lots of threats as parents,” said this coach, “but the minute we should get tough, we break down and don’t let our kids suffer, just because WE don’t want to see them suffer. Yet the parents who let them suffer are the ones whose kids are less likely to end up dealing with problems their entire lives. Sadly, most get nervous, step in and solve the problems again, and their kids end up with problems for life.”

Two Paths

So many of us had parents who were hard on us, made us do things we did not want to do. From that, we went in one of two directions. We either suffered and realized it was good for us, and we passed that on to our kids. Or we suffered and told ourselves, “I’m not gonna do that to my kids.” That second one is why so many young people may be overly sensitive, easily wounded or hurt, and don’t know how to deal with pain. There is no telling how that might impact kids who end up struggling with their identity. When the kids whine about raking leaves or taking out trash, too often we give in so we don’t have to fight them or keep hearing the complaints. Soon they are doing little or nothing, and not suffering enough.

Learning Sooner

I was a numbskull. I kept repeating mistakes, and my parents kept bailing me out. Had they gotten fed up with helping me sooner, I would have learned sooner. And I’ve repeated a lot of that behavior with my own offspring.

It’s All About Me

My self-esteem came when I was responsible for myself, when I did things for myself, when I no longer looked to anyone else to save me. Then I had good reason for a healthy self-esteem, instead of having everything handed to me and being overly impressed with who I was when I had done nothing on my own.

Often I’ve suggested that pain is good, though we never look forward to it. Pain is the first step toward growth. It’s true in life, and it’s true for our kids. 

Surviving on Peanut Butter

I look backward and see where I was let off the hook, too many times and too easily. I see that when I was forced to work, forced to struggle, forced to suffer, I experienced growth and became a man. When I called my folks with a sob story and was told, “I’m sorry you don’t have any money for food, but I have confidence you’ll figure it out,” I was angry, but I never called and asked again. And I figured it out. I learned how to make my money last. All it took was a week living on a jar of peanut butter for me to learn to manage my money, and learn how to make more of it, which stimulated me to work three jobs. For several years straight I worked as an evening radio DJ, ran a wedding photography business on the weekends, and was also the DJ at the weddings I photographed so I could get a couple hundred extra bucks.

What was the moment you grew up?

What was the tough love you experienced that hurt, but made a difference in your life?
What did it take to find your own self-esteem?

When did someone say no and it benefited you?

What were you made to do that you did not want to do, that helped you grow and impacted your self-worth and self-esteem?

Parenting is hard. 

But the hardest part is to stop sheltering them as soon as possible, to give them chores and make them work, to resist their whining, and to let them gain independence in spite of their objections. Our kids had to do their own laundry, starting at age 7. We had to battle them for a week or two, and they had to go to school with dirty clothes, but they finally got it.

Kids without problems don’t grow up — until they have problems.

We have had some very difficult days when we worried because we wanted to bail a kid out of a problem. But bailing people out is the coward’s way. Great parenting allows them to suffer, and suffering along with them because you would rather not watch them struggle. But giving in is actually hurting them. Don’t give in, Even though it’s easier in the short term, it will be harder in the long run.

It’s never too late. It takes us time to grow, it takes us time to get fed up or tired of the battle. Sometimes it happens when you run out of money because you gave it all to help your kid. They can be 6 or 60, but the moment you say no and let them figure it out on their own, they will protest. But stick to your guns and let them experience pain. They will test you, they will pull at your heartstrings, and you’ll want to help them, but helping is hurting. 

Embrace the struggle.

Eric Rhoads

PS: This week I spoke to an old friend who started his business about a decade before I started mine. We talked about the recessions, the times we had to shut down or almost went out of business, we talked about all the problems we had to invent solutions for, and we both realized that the struggle is what made us. It’s not easy at the moment, but when you’re going through it, just know that you will get through it (or you won’t), but everything will be OK, no matter what. 

When COVID hit and I was facing closing down my company, I should have been more frightened than I was, but I had had enough challenges and struggles that I had confidence that we would figure it out, and if we didn’t, I could always start something up again.

What we came up with was a series of online conferences. When the pandemic ended, we wondered if these would end. We considered stopping them, but the people who attended told us how valuable they had been and that they were a gift because they often did not have the time, money, or circumstances to allow them to get on an airplane. So we’ve kept them going and they remain strong. Oh, we lost a few people who went back to work, but we picked up some others to make up for it.

My next big online conference is Pastel Live, starting in mid-August. It’s turning out to be the biggest we’ve ever had, even though one would think it would be smaller because people have less time on their hands. But in fact, last week we had record registrations. And we will again be presenting the biggest pastel event in the world. The Super Bowl of pastel painting.

If you want to learn to paint, or learn pastel, this is the perfect opportunity. You can join us by going to PastelLive.com, and we even have a money-back guarantee. 

Loon calls and the slosh of water are interrupted by a distant deep rumble. No, it’s not that thunder we’ve been hearing, but a classic 1930s wooden Chris-Craft jetting across the lake, its engine roaring and echoing. Though I’m not a fan of noise in the midst of silence, there is nothing quite like a classic boat, its sleek design, graceful lines, shiny high-gloss finish, and trademark rumble. Our lake is filled with wooden boats. 

Somehow wooden boats in a lake surrounded by deep green forests make me feel like I’m living in another era. If someone from this lake went into a coma in 1920 and awoke today, it would be virtually the same, other than one or two newer boathouses and some ski boats. But things here are mostly unchanged, which is why we love it. 

Have you seen the meme floating around social media asking, “If someone went into a coma in 1986 and awoke today, what would be the biggest shock?”

Repeating Life

I often wonder how life would be if I were just starting out now. Was it better when I started my career, or would it be better now? 

Years of Struggle

The struggle to succeed was difficult, and there were days and even months when I wanted to curl up in a ball and weep because it was so hard. When I first started I had to work like crazy to get hired by radio stations so I could live my dream of having my own radio show. I can remember putting on a suit and tie and wingtip shoes and having my mom drive me to interviews. I spent weeks editing samples of myself on the air (which I made up, since I did not have any experience) and sent them to radio stations within driving distance of my parents’ home. I wanted to be on the radio so badly, yet I was rejected by at least a hundred radio stations before I got offered a paying job. 

Yet if I wanted to be in the media today, I’d just start a podcast or a YouTube show. 

Stupidity and Hope

Starting my first real business was incredibly hard. Had I known how hard, I’m not sure I would have wanted to endure the struggle, but thankfully, I never believed the negative Nellies who warned me how impossible things would be. 

I had no money, no experience, and no idea what I was doing. I operated on pure stupidity, energy, and hope. It took me years to get my business to make a profit. I went seven years without a paycheck, putting all my money back into my business. I suffered through at least three recessions and almost went out of business several times. One year my bookkeeper told me I had enough to survive and pay my employees for three weeks, so I had to fire them all that day so I could pay them two weeks’ severance. Then, with one week of cash left, I managed to generate enough business to survive. It was the hardest two years I can remember, but I felt accomplishment when I made it through. 

Easy Breezy

If I wanted to get my business rolling today, I’d still struggle and make mistakes, but I’d have things like social media, e-mail, and messaging to communicate or promote. 

As an author, I was rejected by lots of publishers, and struggled to self-publish when no one would represent me. Yet when I launched my most recent book, I posted it on Amazon and it was a best seller in two categories within one week. 

Today is better.

If you want to be successful today, there is no excuse. You can do everything faster, for less money and more easily. You have more tools to help you than ever existed before in history. You have all the advantages and few of the disadvantages. You can even have training at your fingertips online.

If you can’t succeed today, you have chosen not to. 

Yes, success is hard no matter what. But it’s the easiest it’s ever been. 

So why are some not successful?

Maybe you actually are a success and just think you need more to be happy.

The Life of a Fisherman

There is the story of a man who approached a fisherman in Mexico. He asked the fisherman if he loved what he did.

“I get up every morning, make love to my wife, then I get to spend quiet days drifting in the ocean all day. I bring in a few fish, take them to market where I see my neighbors, make all the money I need, come home, play cards with my best friends, have a couple of drinks, and go to bed.”

The man said, “Yes, but if you work harder, you could get another boat, then a fleet of boats, and then you could sell it all and make a lot of money.”

The fisherman asked, “What do I do with all that money?”

The man said, “Then you can have a relaxing day, spend time on your boat, maybe go fishing, make love to your wife, hang out with your friends and have a couple of cocktails, and never have any worries.”

The fisherman looked at him in confusion, because he had all of that now. 

How Do You Define Success?

Lots of people tell me they want to be successful. So I usually ask them to define what success means to them and how it will change their life. And why do they want that? Often people have goals and dreams without thinking about how things will change and whether that’s the life they want.

Planes and Shiny Objects

I hear a lot of people talk about wanting things like jets, helicopters, fancy cars, and multiple mansions. Our culture and media tells us those things are the measurement of success. I’m reminded of a 1980s ad from some guru standing in front of a giant house, garage doors open and several Rolls Royces inside. Growing up, it was hard not to want these things because the media told us that’s what defines success. Nothing has changed. I used to buy the lie and unhappily chased mega wealth for years.

It all looks glamorous, till you realize the responsibility that comes with the perks. You have to manage and keep and pay for all those perks.

Rich and Lonely

One billionaire “buddy” had all the stuff. A three-floor penthouse in Manhattan, a 100-foot yacht in the Caribbean where he spent half his time, a jet, a dozen or so cars, and giant homes in all the cool places, including one in Europe. He had people who traveled with him to cook his food, massage his back, work out with him, and manage his business affairs. He was surrounded by people all the time. At any time of day or night, he could request any food, and it would be made for him. 

But he was extremely lonely. His wife left him because he was addicted to cheating with gold-digging blondes who loved men with hot cars and big bank accounts. Yet they were empty relationships. His kids would have nothing to do with him because he treated them as badly as he treated his employees. And he had no friends. In fact, he wasn’t really a buddy at all. I declined an invite to his big birthday bash with all expenses paid. Turns out no one else showed up either. They didn’t like him, they liked his money, and they only dealt with him because they had to.

Would you call him a success?

Maybe he was a financial success. Maybe he had freedom. But he was lacking what he needed most. Love and true friendships.

Don’t let others define success for you. Just because you see people with Ferraris, Gulfstream jets, helicopters, and yachts does not mean it’s right for you. Some of my friends who have accomplished these things gave up a lot to get them. Some are happy, others are not. But in most cases, those things are not about happiness. 

The Paradox

I find it almost comical. We strive for success to get stuff because we think it gives us validation, freedom, and happiness. Yet all too often we become workaholics and don’t have time for our families and friends or for leisure travel because there is too much to be done. 

Are you willing to give up happiness in the pursuit of happiness?  

I also find it tragic that some people are so driven to get these things to make them happy that they steal them or they take advantage of others in business. Is that happiness, knowing you had to steal, cheat, or deceive to get it? Knowing you did not earn it on your own, or knowing you did not earn it properly? Is looking over your shoulder in fear of getting caught a state of happiness? Does knowing you destroyed others so you could look better to yourself lift your self-esteem?

The pursuit of success and happiness often leads us to want these things so much that we give up happiness and true success to get them. 

The True Test

If you shed all the stuff society tells you you’re supposed to have, or supposed to want to have, what makes you happiest now?

What if you got all those trappings? Would you be happy? 

Would you be happy knowing you have to work insanely hard to keep up and keep them? 

Would you be happy knowing your friends might like you for what you have, not who you are?

A Sad Reality

I was with a famous actress acquaintance recently who was telling me about some of the challenges of her life as a celebrity, and how she and her kids can never really know if people are true friends. Over time, many she thought were her friends turned out to only use her to get a role or an introduction, or in hopes of money, then abandoned her. It’s heartbreaking. 

Will you be happy when you lose your fame, your money, your cars, jets, and yachts? Or will you be stressed to get more when one of your friends gets a bigger boat? 

If you’re not happy today, there is a big chance that getting the stuff isn’t going to make you any happier. 

One podcaster I heard said he craved owning a Bentley, and he worked for years to own one. Three weeks later, it was just a car. The thrill wore off quickly. 

Will you have happiness if those things never happen?

Friends who travel have told me that people deep in the jungles of Africa who have nothing, not even enough food, are the happiest and most joy-filled people they have ever met.

Chase the Right Dreams

There is nothing wrong with wanting more, or chasing your dreams, or wanting to change your circumstances, especially if they are awful. But if you’re not finding a way to be happy now, the things you crave may not change anything. 

Define Your Perfect Day

Waking up alive, playing with my dogs, having my wife and family around me laughing and joking with one another, showing up at work with people I love to work on things that will make other people’s lives better, playing guitar with friends and painting outdoors with friends, and having daily conversation with my Maker … that’s a perfect day. 

I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and the life I’ve provided my family, but I’m happier that I discovered that the things I thought I wanted would not make a big difference. Happiness is a state of mind, not a state of ownership.

Before you chase success, define it. With every goal, ask, Will this really make me happier? And ask yourself … What makes me happy now? And if I lose that in exchange for something else, will I be happier?

Success is wonderful, but there are always tradeoffs.

Eric Rhoads

PS: One of my wealthy acquaintances recently said, “You’re a really good painter, and I’d give up a lot to be able to paint like you.” I responded, “If you give me some time, I can teach you.” He said, “I’m too busy. My time is not my own.” So in reality, he was blowing smoke. He could have made a choice to learn something he thought was cool. 

Learning to paint has helped me find happiness. God made you and me to be able to create, and it opened my eyes to a new world. I see things through the eyes of an artist, I have something I love doing, I get to go outdoors and paint in my spare time, and I even sell paintings, which is kinda nice.

But I’m even happier when I see people who had no confidence, no belief in themselves, people who believed they had no talent, learn how to paint. We have literally transformed millions of lives by teaching those people to paint. 

If you’re one of those people who thinks you could not possibly make a pretty picture, I challenge you to consider it. You can do this.

I have an event in August called Pastel Live. The first day is for people starting out; it’s called Essential Techniques Day. Pastel can be the easiest medium to learn to paint with because we were all used to coloring with crayons in our childhood. Pastel is a lot like that. It’s not chalk, it’s pure pigment, and you can get more brilliant color than with any other medium. And I encourage you to try it by attending Pastel Live, or just our Essential Techniques Day. If you watch the full first day and feel you did not get transformed or informed enough in some way, let us know by the end of that day and we will refund your money. There is no risk at all, but everything to gain.

And if you paint in oil, acrylic, watercolor, or other media, you’ll love trying pastel. It will get you reinvigorated and reinvested  in painting, and it will teach you things about painting you can only know by trying pastel.

You can attend the first day for less than a meal out. Sign up today at PastelLive.com.

PS 2: I’m taking a small group to see the art of Madrid and Stockholm. Both cities are rich with art. Check out my new trip at www.finearttrip.com. 

P.S. It’s almost like magic when you make up your mind to learn something. Years ago, my dad wanted to learn about a certain type of investing, so he found the world’s leading expert, befriended him, and invited him to visit him at the lake. They cooked something up, and the guy moved in for the summer and they worked together every day for three months. Within three months, my dad was also one of the leading experts in that topic. 

That concept led me to the idea of teaching people to paint with the world’s leading experts. At my Adirondack event, two people painted well right out of the box, though they had never done it before. I learned that in both cases, they had watched a lot of my videos over and over. Though they were not learning in person, video can have the same impact. That’s why I’m so driven to capture the biggest names: so the world can have their minds forever and they can train more people than they ever could in person. 

If you want to learn anything, make up your mind, devote the time, and you’ll master it. 

The other way we’re doing this is by creating online events. These events are immersive, and the magic of immersion is that you can ramp up fast by devoting a concentrated amount of time. 

For instance, if you decided you wanted to learn pastel, you could set aside four eight-hour days for instruction from a top master, and focus on pastel all day. At the end of those four days, you could have a clear understanding of the concepts, because of the time and repetition. Will you be a master after four days? Nope. That takes decades. But you’ll have ramped up fast and you’ll understand the core principles, and then you just need to practice. Then, a year later, if you do it again, you’ll be way ahead, and you’ll understand concepts you did not understand before.

We do four events a year. Each is four days, and each is designed to immerse you to help you learn fast. Thousands of people have learned to paint for the first time when they did not believe they could, and thousands of others have elevated themselves by devoting four days a year, and, in some cases, four days several times a year. 

The other thing I find fascinating is that I learn faster when I’m forced out of my routine and comfort zone. For instance, I’ve been an oil painter most of my painting life, and I had no desire to learn other mediums like pastel or watercolor, because I still have not mastered oil, which is a lifetime of work. Yet when I started these online conferences, I felt the need to practice what I preach, so I studied at Watercolor Live and Pastel Live, and in both cases, it had a positive effect.

Not only was I learning something new, which was invigorating, my brain was constantly asking, “How can I apply this technique to oils?” The result was that I was reinvigorated, and I learned new things I could apply to other things. And the best part is that I discovered that I now want to do different mediums when I’m in different moods and want different effects. 

My next four-day event is Pastel Live, which is coming up this August. It features master pastel painters, each of whom do things differently, and who paint in different styles. It’s phenomenal to see the outcomes people get from attending. It’s a great entry into art for those of you who want to learn for the first time. And a great way to capture a lot of information from great artists and put it in your brain. 

I’ll be hosting and hope to see you there. PastelLive.com

Eric Rhoads

PS: Never in my life have I seen so much strife, so much conflict, so much polarization over the state of our country. You cannot solve it on the 4th of July, but you can destroy relationships by trying to change the minds of those around you. Before you open your mouth with a beer-induced disagreement, remember, these are people we love, who we want with us again next year. Keep it civilized. Have some fun. Change the world on a different day and celebrate the freedom we still have.

PS 2: Do you remember that feeling you got as a kid when you were lying on the floor coloring, feeling about as happy as you could?

Do you remember someone admiring your work and putting it up on the fridge for all to see?

I loved that feeling, but lost it somewhere along the way. But it was rekindled when I was about 40, with my first art lessons. Even though I had moments of frustration because my hand could not do what my brain had in mind, I still was in a state of joy making art.

One of the reasons I do what I do is because I love seeing people light up when they realize they can create art, even after they have told themselves they don’t have the talent required.

One of the best and easiest ways to learn art is to start with pastels, which you use kinda like crayons … pick a color and lay it down on the paper. It’s a great medium for newbies, and it’s something you can do your whole life. Pastel gives you a lot of flexibility, some brilliant, intense color (more intense than any other kind of painting), and you don’t have to learn about brushes, oils, and cleaners. It’s as simple as stick-to-hand-to-paper. (I’ve posted a couple of pastel paintings I love below.)

You may have heard me say I can teach anyone to paint. It’s true. Even those who don’t believe it themselves. Because painting is a process, not requiring talent. (Talent comes later, when you want to get to the highest levels, and talent is really just lots of experience and time painting.)

Take some time for yourself this August to attend Pastel Live online. You’ll never regret it. And take our Essential Techniques Day first. Pastel Live is four total days of top artists teaching techniques in different styles and approaches to pastel. And it is not much more than a dinner out with friends. But unlike that dinner, this will provide you with joy for a lifetime. In fact, if you attend and don’t feel you got your money’s worth after the first day, let us know and we will refund 100% of your money.

I encourage you to sign up now. Pastel Live, August 17-19, Essential Techniques Day August 16. Save up to $600 here.

The sun streams through the window waking me. At first I’m feeling lost, out of my routine, until my brain catches up and realizes I’m not home, but away in a strange bed. A glance out the window treats my eyes to billowing clouds, streaks of sunlight and distant snow capped mountains. I’m desperately searching for a coffee maker, and will probably have to get dressed and go to the lobby.

My family and I  landed here in Colorado last night, and today is the culmination of two years of preparation by dozens of people on my team. It’s the beginning of a five day learning, painting and friendship adventure, called the plein air convention.

Yesterday was the start of a two day Lori Putnam workshop, which continues today, and today is an essential day for plein air beginners. Then at 4 pm, the big show opens and it will be my busiest week of the year. 

Why I Dislike Weddings

When I was a wedding photographer, I discovered a thing I called Wedding Letdown. Brides would spend a year or more in preparation for their big day, and then in a few short hours it was all over. They are no longer the center of attention, there is nothing to plan, and the only thing between that ending day and normal life is a honeymoon. I too experience this letdown when its all over. A week of joy, friendships and wonderful people, then back to life as normal. Its something to celebrate,  but also can be bitter sweet. But we’ll see how I feel next week at this time if I have the energy to get up and write. 

A Big Dream That Almost Did Not Happen

I love this week for a lot of reasons. Its the result of a big dream, which everyone told me would never happen. My accountants told me that launching a convention with the return of PleinAir magazine would be the death of my business and sure bankruptcy. So everytime I show up, I remember that it almost didn’t happen. 

After many decades of managing stress, I rarely ever get too stressed anymore, but I do want to make sure everyone has a wonderful experience. Yesterday I met with our team, our volunteers, and it’s in their hands now. I just have to do my part, and hope that I’ve given people the experience of a lifetime. 

Earlier this week I was talking to my son Berkeley about his upcoming internship at a company in New Zealand, and I told him what my dad told me at his age.

Advice I’ve Never Forgotten

Though I had “kid” businesses like lemonade sands and candle making, when I got my first job, my day drew a little chart and he said, “sit down with your boss and ask them to define their exact expectations of you. Then he drew a line and said, “this line represents their expectation.”

Always do more than expected, always over deliver. If you fall below their expectations, you’re not a good employee. If you meet expectations, they will be happy with you but you’ll be the same as every other employee who is meeting expectations. But if you always do more, take on more, ask what else you can do, you will stand out above the rest.

Of course my teenage mind said, “but I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want to be better than the other employees, otherwise I won’t make any friends.”

His response was spot on.

How to Stand Out

“There is a chance that people who do below expectation will eventually  lose their jobs. If you spend time with them, you become them, because we become like the people we spend time with. The others will keep their jobs, and though you may feel you’re making them look bad by doing more, the reality is that if you don’t do that, you’ll never see the next opportunity.

He explained that “as a boss, I’m always looking to see who is exceptional. Some people are A players, some are B and C players. An A player thinks differently and can do 80% more than a B player without a lot of extra effort, because they think before they act. A B player can do 20% more than a C player, but both either don’t think or they simply don’t care.

He went on to say “surround yourself with people who are better than you and you’ll become like them. They are all good people and no one is better than anyone else, but some are better at their jobs. 

A Surprised Boss

So I did what he recommended. I sat with my new boss and asked him to define my expectations of me. “No one has ever asked me that question,” he said. Then he proceeded to tell me. Then I said, “What can I do to be a better employee?” His response, “no one has ever asked me that either. I think just do a great job and if you see something else that needs to be done, do it. 

Rapid Growth

I was in a pretty crummy job at that radio station, but I managed to over perform, get everyone to like me because I was always helping them, making them look better, and before long they were recommending me for other jobs. I eventually got my break to go on the air. Then I kept trying to get better, and I ended up with better jobs at better radio stations until one day I was in a big city in a great job on the radio. That led me to station ownership by the time I was 25.

A Budding Superstar

Years ago I hired a young guy for my mail room. Tom Elmo would come in and say “Ok that’s done, what can I do now?” He kept doing it, then he just figured things out on his own. Today he is the top guy running my company and we’ve worked together for about 31 years. He gets it.

Someone said that the key to success is showing up. I agree that is half the battle. But showing up isn’t enough. Doing more makes you more valuable, and soon you become invaluable, then opportunity flows to you. I tell my kids that the bar is low. Showing up will put you ahead, but if you really want to go further, become an A player. Find out what needs to be done and how to do it faster, and better. Be like Tom.

Ask Yourself How to Improve It…

If you’re going to do anything, ask yourself. What can I do to make it better? What can I do to give people a better experience? What do they want and how do I give them more than they want? 

That’s the goal this week and always. And when things get stale, it’s time to reinvent and compete against yourself to make things better than your already high standards.

Easy Advice to Those Willing to Listen

Life on TikTok and Instagram is filled with muscle bound perfect people driving Ferraris and going on luxury vacations. Many are selling the idea of extreme wealth and get rich schemes. Most are selling snake oil. But learning these foundations will do more good than most of the strategies being blurted out so you’ll give them money. The simple act of forwarding this email to someone starting their career or struggling with their career can make a difference. I had the benefit of a dad who filled my brain with little things that make a big difference. My goal is to share to help others live excellent lives. My mantra is to over deliver.

Advantages Come to You

When you focus on trying to figure out how to be the best, and when you deliver, you’ll give yourself advantages others will never receive. Some people think that they should not do more unless they are paid for it, but what they don’t understand is that you are paid for it. It may not be immediate, but instead of saying, “pay me more and I’ll do more” you’re showing what you’re worth and it will eventually be recognized. And even if you’re not, you’ll know you did your best, or you’ll reevaluate yourself and ask if you could have been better at what you do.

Life is filled with opportunity. Opportunity favors those who step up and find a way to overdeliver. 

It’s my hope that my team and I over deliver this week. Keep us in your prayers.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Never in my life have I seen so much strife, so much conflict, so much polarization over the state of our country. You cannot solve it on the 4th of July, but you can destroy relationships by trying to change the minds of those around you. Before you open your mouth with a beer-induced disagreement, remember, these are people we love, who we want with us again next year. Keep it civilized. Have some fun. Change the world on a different day and celebrate the freedom we still have.

PS 2: Do you remember that feeling you got as a kid when you were lying on the floor coloring, feeling about as happy as you could?

Do you remember someone admiring your work and putting it up on the fridge for all to see?

I loved that feeling, but lost it somewhere along the way. But it was rekindled when I was about 40, with my first art lessons. Even though I had moments of frustration because my hand could not do what my brain had in mind, I still was in a state of joy making art.

One of the reasons I do what I do is because I love seeing people light up when they realize they can create art, even after they have told themselves they don’t have the talent required.

One of the best and easiest ways to learn art is to start with pastels, which you use kinda like crayons … pick a color and lay it down on the paper. It’s a great medium for newbies, and it’s something you can do your whole life. Pastel gives you a lot of flexibility, some brilliant, intense color (more intense than any other kind of painting), and you don’t have to learn about brushes, oils, and cleaners. It’s as simple as stick-to-hand-to-paper. (I’ve posted a couple of pastel paintings I love below.)

You may have heard me say I can teach anyone to paint. It’s true. Even those who don’t believe it themselves. Because painting is a process, not requiring talent. (Talent comes later, when you want to get to the highest levels, and talent is really just lots of experience and time painting.)

Take some time for yourself this August to attend Pastel Live online. You’ll never regret it. And take our Essential Techniques Day first. Pastel Live is four total days of top artists teaching techniques in different styles and approaches to pastel. And it is not much more than a dinner out with friends. But unlike that dinner, this will provide you with joy for a lifetime. In fact, if you attend and don’t feel you got your money’s worth after the first day, let us know and we will refund 100% of your money.

I encourage you to sign up now. Pastel Live, August 17-19, Essential Techniques Day August 16. Save up to $600 here.

The sun streams through the window waking me. At first I’m feeling lost, out of my routine, until my brain catches up and realizes I’m not home, but away in a strange bed. A glance out the window treats my eyes to billowing clouds, streaks of sunlight and distant snow capped mountains. I’m desperately searching for a coffee maker, and will probably have to get dressed and go to the lobby.

My family and I  landed here in Colorado last night, and today is the culmination of two years of preparation by dozens of people on my team. It’s the beginning of a five day learning, painting and friendship adventure, called the plein air convention.

Yesterday was the start of a two day Lori Putnam workshop, which continues today, and today is an essential day for plein air beginners. Then at 4 pm, the big show opens and it will be my busiest week of the year. 

Why I Dislike Weddings

When I was a wedding photographer, I discovered a thing I called Wedding Letdown. Brides would spend a year or more in preparation for their big day, and then in a few short hours it was all over. They are no longer the center of attention, there is nothing to plan, and the only thing between that ending day and normal life is a honeymoon. I too experience this letdown when its all over. A week of joy, friendships and wonderful people, then back to life as normal. Its something to celebrate,  but also can be bitter sweet. But we’ll see how I feel next week at this time if I have the energy to get up and write. 

A Big Dream That Almost Did Not Happen

I love this week for a lot of reasons. Its the result of a big dream, which everyone told me would never happen. My accountants told me that launching a convention with the return of PleinAir magazine would be the death of my business and sure bankruptcy. So everytime I show up, I remember that it almost didn’t happen. 

After many decades of managing stress, I rarely ever get too stressed anymore, but I do want to make sure everyone has a wonderful experience. Yesterday I met with our team, our volunteers, and it’s in their hands now. I just have to do my part, and hope that I’ve given people the experience of a lifetime. 

Earlier this week I was talking to my son Berkeley about his upcoming internship at a company in New Zealand, and I told him what my dad told me at his age.

Advice I’ve Never Forgotten

Though I had “kid” businesses like lemonade sands and candle making, when I got my first job, my day drew a little chart and he said, “sit down with your boss and ask them to define their exact expectations of you. Then he drew a line and said, “this line represents their expectation.”

Always do more than expected, always over deliver. If you fall below their expectations, you’re not a good employee. If you meet expectations, they will be happy with you but you’ll be the same as every other employee who is meeting expectations. But if you always do more, take on more, ask what else you can do, you will stand out above the rest.

Of course my teenage mind said, “but I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want to be better than the other employees, otherwise I won’t make any friends.”

His response was spot on.

How to Stand Out

“There is a chance that people who do below expectation will eventually  lose their jobs. If you spend time with them, you become them, because we become like the people we spend time with. The others will keep their jobs, and though you may feel you’re making them look bad by doing more, the reality is that if you don’t do that, you’ll never see the next opportunity.

He explained that “as a boss, I’m always looking to see who is exceptional. Some people are A players, some are B and C players. An A player thinks differently and can do 80% more than a B player without a lot of extra effort, because they think before they act. A B player can do 20% more than a C player, but both either don’t think or they simply don’t care.

He went on to say “surround yourself with people who are better than you and you’ll become like them. They are all good people and no one is better than anyone else, but some are better at their jobs. 

A Surprised Boss

So I did what he recommended. I sat with my new boss and asked him to define my expectations of me. “No one has ever asked me that question,” he said. Then he proceeded to tell me. Then I said, “What can I do to be a better employee?” His response, “no one has ever asked me that either. I think just do a great job and if you see something else that needs to be done, do it. 

Rapid Growth

I was in a pretty crummy job at that radio station, but I managed to over perform, get everyone to like me because I was always helping them, making them look better, and before long they were recommending me for other jobs. I eventually got my break to go on the air. Then I kept trying to get better, and I ended up with better jobs at better radio stations until one day I was in a big city in a great job on the radio. That led me to station ownership by the time I was 25.

A Budding Superstar

Years ago I hired a young guy for my mail room. Tom Elmo would come in and say “Ok that’s done, what can I do now?” He kept doing it, then he just figured things out on his own. Today he is the top guy running my company and we’ve worked together for about 31 years. He gets it.

Someone said that the key to success is showing up. I agree that is half the battle. But showing up isn’t enough. Doing more makes you more valuable, and soon you become invaluable, then opportunity flows to you. I tell my kids that the bar is low. Showing up will put you ahead, but if you really want to go further, become an A player. Find out what needs to be done and how to do it faster, and better. Be like Tom.

Ask Yourself How to Improve It…

If you’re going to do anything, ask yourself. What can I do to make it better? What can I do to give people a better experience? What do they want and how do I give them more than they want? 

That’s the goal this week and always. And when things get stale, it’s time to reinvent and compete against yourself to make things better than your already high standards.

Easy Advice to Those Willing to Listen

Life on TikTok and Instagram is filled with muscle bound perfect people driving Ferraris and going on luxury vacations. Many are selling the idea of extreme wealth and get rich schemes. Most are selling snake oil. But learning these foundations will do more good than most of the strategies being blurted out so you’ll give them money. The simple act of forwarding this email to someone starting their career or struggling with their career can make a difference. I had the benefit of a dad who filled my brain with little things that make a big difference. My goal is to share to help others live excellent lives. My mantra is to over deliver.

Advantages Come to You

When you focus on trying to figure out how to be the best, and when you deliver, you’ll give yourself advantages others will never receive. Some people think that they should not do more unless they are paid for it, but what they don’t understand is that you are paid for it. It may not be immediate, but instead of saying, “pay me more and I’ll do more” you’re showing what you’re worth and it will eventually be recognized. And even if you’re not, you’ll know you did your best, or you’ll reevaluate yourself and ask if you could have been better at what you do.

Life is filled with opportunity. Opportunity favors those who step up and find a way to overdeliver. 

It’s my hope that my team and I over deliver this week. Keep us in your prayers.

Eric Rhoads

PS: The people teaching at the plein air convention are some of the best painters on earth. If this had existed a hundred years ago, Monet and Degas would be teaching on our stages, and the people teaching on our stages may go down as being famous a hundred years from now. This is a rare opportunity, and though I hope it lives on beyond me, there is no guarantee. This is a special moment in time, something that has never happened before in history, and may never happen again. If I were you, and I lived within driving distance of Denver, I’d grab the opportunity to be here.

The sky is glowing an iridescent blue like a Maxfield Parrish painting, with twisty silhouettes of tree branches reaching high to patches of leaves. A slight swaying in the trees draws my eye to the distant gay mountain, where a few stars glow in the still-darkened sky. Morning has broken.

In my junior year of high school, I was somewhat lost and confused. I had one interest only, being a DJ on a local college station with no listeners, populated by nerds like me who loved the idea of being on the radio even though we were talking to the wall.

Grades were never my strong suit, and college wasn’t on my radar because a career in radio was already my plan. I loved the attention, and stardom, in the form of radio, was what I was looking for. 

But Carolyn Parsons had a different vision for me. She was my Humanities teacher, in a class that I struggled with. She was as hard on me as anyone ever was. “Get your act together, Rhoads, you’re better than this,” she would say. Though my star may have been shining among my friends, nothing I could do would please “Mrs. P.,” who was known to be the toughest teacher in the school. 

She pushed and pushed. I felt hassled and abused, but she did not let up. I even told my parents, who did nothing. Dad would say, “Son, be the best you can be. Listen to the people around you, and try to see their perspective.”

For the end of the year, we were to have a major project, something to present to the class. We each got half of the class time over about 15 days. I needed to come up with a poem, a story, or something, but I could not. But Mrs. P. would not let up.

“Surely you can do something well, Rhoads. You need to find it.” But I had no idea what it would be. The pressure was on — I was on in a week. I had already seen many other presentations. Some were great, others not so great, and the bad ones got hammered. I did not want that embarrassment.

One day it came to me … what do I really love? I love audio, I love music, and I love photography. So I decided to come up with a multimedia slideshow. Simply put, a slideshow set to music. 

I worked feverishly to take photographs that were artsy, that told a story, and set them to the Cat Stevens tune “Morning Has Broken.” Shots of sunrises, sunsets, graveyards, sad people and happy people. Everything had a yellow theme to it, as if silhouetted before glowing yellow skies.

I fine-tuned, practiced — and I was scared. But at presentation time, I pulled it off. The lights were low, and I looked up to find Mrs. P. standing and clapping, with tears in her eyes. I had broken through.

Her tears were probably not about the quality of my presentation; they were a celebration that her toughest, hardest-to-deal-with student had come through. 

She changed my life forever by finding something within me I didn’t know I had.

I dedicated a book to her many years later, and I sent it to her with a note about her impact. I never saw her again, but she lives in my heart as the woman who cared enough to badger me to live to a high standard.

Carolyn Parsons wasn’t my mom. But she played a significant role, seeing things in me others did not see.

In today’s culture, where everyone needs a trophy, her methods might be frowned upon. But there is value in pushing people to some breaking point where they find themselves. Otherwise they may never get there.

Today, as we honor moms everywhere, we need to remember that we all have different styles and approaches. My mom never pushed me, but she nurtured me. My dad encouraged me. But others in my life stood up to play roles that they saw needed to be played in my life. It’s a community effort to raise children. I think we sometimes forget that.

I would have turned out OK, but Mrs. Parsons challenged me, and pulled out a creative side. I’m sure it would have been easier to let me fail. Instead, she cared enough to push me.

Motherhood isn’t always about nurturing. A great mom (or dad) always sees things we can’t see in ourselves. Sometimes they nag and push and tell us to brush our teeth. But it’s not about clean teeth or clean clothes, it’s about self-discipline that impacts every detail of our lives. 

Being a dad isn’t easy, either; we have our own role to play. And I have huge respect for those who juggle the job of being both mom and dad. I often lose respect for those who bail out and leave their kids to figure it out on their own. No kid deserves that. There is no room for selfishness when raising children; one hangs in there, no matter what. But that’s an unpopular opinion today. Anything goes.

Today, as a tribute to your mom, think back to the times she annoyed you, pushed you, and held you to higher standards … and be grateful. Being a mom isn’t easy, and being tough isn’t popular, especially when you’re on the receiving end. But it’s so necessary.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Eric Rhoads

P.S. My mom died three years ago this week.I miss her and my dad daily. Embrace the ones you still have, no matter how much fault you can find with them. One day they’ll be gone.

Next week I’m off to host the Plein Air Convention in Denver. People ask if I’m excited, and the answer is, “Absolutely!” Can’t wait. See you there?

www..pleinairconvention.com

Massive thunderstorms pounded our metal farmhouse roof. The rattling sound was overwhelming, but this morning the sky is clearer than usual, the birds are happy after their bath, and it’s a stunning day filled with wildflowers and the scent of beauty in the air. There is a big debate in my mind whether spring is my favorite season. What I love about spring is the rejuvenation, the beauty that comes after the harsh cold. And I love spring fever, when we’re all eager to wear shorts, flip flops, and sunscreen. 

I flash back to winters in Indiana that I thought would never end, times when we struggled with the ice, the cold, the dark gray days, dead car batteries, cars sliding off the road and getting stuck in snowdrifts. I could never get warm, and we couldn’t wait for spring to appear.

Experiencing Winter

Recently I’ve watched friends and family experience their own personal winter. Tough times of fighting disease, unexpected tragedy, family trials, addictions, financial or legal troubles, and losing cherished family members. I often feel guilty that I’m experiencing spring when they are suffering. But we all tend to cycle in and out of good and tough times. I too have gone through my own endless emotionally gray days, wishing for them to be over but so consumed I could not see the sun breaking through the clouds in the distance.

And though I never welcome those times, I anticipate there will be more of them. Starting two years ago last week, we experienced a season of winter, losing my dad, my mom, my cousin, my aunt, and my uncle. It was a brutal winter.

Please Don’t Die

When I was a child, I was so enamored with my dad that I constantly worried that he would die. I could not imagine life without him. I don’t know why I thought about it so much, but every stage of my life, I worried, and I told myself I could never get through it if he did die. It was a little boy’s obsession that continued into much of my adult life. It was totally unfounded and illogical, and I don’t understand why it had such power over me for so many years. 

Yet when my dad did die, it was horrible, but not as horrible as I had imagined it would be. Maybe because he was ready, and he had lived a full and valuable life up to age 94. I had spent years worrying about a winter that was not as awful as I had anticipated. 

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Perspective is a wonderful thing. Time and experience allow us to look back and see our mistakes, and our wins and losses. I regret having spent countless hours worried about things that never happened, preoccupied by what might happen. And though there is value in being prepared for worst-case scenarios, there is no value in worry whatsoever.  

So I decided to remove worry from my life. I rarely worry even at times I probably should. My attitude is that I’ll deal with the bad things when they happen, not before. Time is too precious for worry. I’m trying to trust God more. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

A Painful Lesson

After horrible winters that seemed endless, the sun always began shining again, and I look back on how I managed to get through the winter and came out stronger in the end. Looking at trials as important lessons also reduces worry, and I no longer cling to things. In fact, I crave change, because whenever I am stressed about change, things always end up better once the change is made.

Worry less. Stress less. Accept change. Know that trials and tough times all come with important lessons that make us better. 

What would you change?

If I had to change anything, as I reminisce about the past, I’d let go more, control less, realize that it’s important to allow others to make mistakes, and my preventing them from making mistakes does not make them stronger people. And I’d look for more ways to build confidence in others and help them overcome their fears. We all need to know that others believe in us, even when we don’t believe in ourselves.

Growth does not happen without running the race, struggling to get to the finish line, and experiencing pain. 

The Sun Always Rises

I don’t mean to make light of any terrible thing you’re experiencing at the moment, but know that there is sunshine on the other side of winter and that you’re strong enough to weather the biggest challenges. You need to know that someone believes in you, and that we’ve got your back. Sometimes we have to step on the carnage of pain and loss to get to a higher mountain. It may not be pretty, but the view is better at the top.

Growing Up the Hard Way

My dad once said to me, “Son, you never really grow up until you lose your father.” My dad was in his mid-60s when my grandfather passed, and my dad seemed pretty grown-up to me. But now I know he was right. There is a freedom that comes with knowing you have no one to rely upon but yourself and your Maker, and it sets a path for a whole new you. 

Whatever you’re going through at this moment: You’ve got this. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: This may sound silly, knowing that Sunday Coffee is widely distributed. But I’m truly there for you. I know you won’t reach out frivolously, but if you need help and I can offer it in some way, please ask. I know what it’s like to have no one to turn to. 

PS2: I’ve grown to really love Carl Bretzke, a painter friend I interviewed for the Plein Air Podcast last week. I like him because he is real; there isn’t a phony or insincere bone in his body, not a mean thought in his mind. I wish I lived closer by; I’d wanna hang out all the time. I learn so much from his wisdom.

When we were talking, he brought up that he had attended nine of 10 Plein Air Conventions, and he was eager to attend the one coming up in May in Denver. I was surprised he had attended that many times, and I asked him why he keeps coming back. After all, he is a highly accomplished and successful artist.

His answer was unexpected, but just demonstrates how the best always want to get better. He said, “I come back primarily to see my friends, most of whom I met at the convention originally. But I attend every demonstration, because I always learn new things about painting from every one of them.” Having a curious mind serves him well. The best never rest; they always strive to learn more. Who knows, maybe we’ll see you there. (www.pleinairconvention,com)

And if pastel is your thing, Pastel Live is coming up this summer in August. This is the best we’ve ever done. www.pastellive.com.

Do you pay attention to light? This morning I woke up a little after sunrise, and the sun was slamming the sides of the trees outside my window with colorful warm light in the early glow. Parts of the tree were in shadow, while little spots were illuminated with color. Little twigs and leaves popped out against the dark purplish distant background and lit up like little firecracker explosions.  

In the distance I see the silhouettes of trees in front of a brightly lit pasture of glowing greens and slight reds against the fog. The morning dew reflects little moisture bombs on every blade of grass, making them glow with light.

Golden Hour

Years ago I was attending a broadcast convention, walking down the streets of Boston with friends, when the golden hour approached and illuminated the sides of the brick buildings with a pink-orange glow. The clouds above were gleaming with yellow. I stood and marveled at the light, but when I pointed it out to my friends, they just said, “What is it we’re supposed to look at?” At that point I realized I had been given the eyes of an artist, and that my friends weren’t likely to appreciate what artists see.

It wasn’t always that way — I’d never noticed light and color. But a couple of years after I started painting, I saw everything through new eyes, and life became even more enjoyable.

My first instinct this morning was to rush to my easel to capture what I saw for that fleeting moment, but alas, Sunday Coffee calls.

Sometimes I think we’re appointed to our roles and the way of seeing the world that goes with them. We develop a bias that influences everything that enters our brain. 

Playing the Hits

When I was young and on the radio playing the hits, my bias was radio and music. Somehow my radio-colored glasses impacted how I saw the world. 

What is your bias? 

“Bias” can have a negative connotation, when in fact it’s simply a filter. I look at the world and ask how I can paint it. If I’m into woodworking for a season, I may ask how I can build it. If I’m practicing medicine, maybe it’s how I can heal it?

People are often critical of others because the others cannot see what they can see. It even says so in the Bible:

And He said, “To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is in parables, so that seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand.” Luke 8:10

Rose-Colored Glasses

If we like what we see, we want others to experience the world through our filter. I wanted my friends to see the color, but they first needed to develop an appreciation. They expressed no interest and probably thought I was nuts.

How much better would our relationships be if we tried to understand the filters of those around us?

We can be dismissive of others because we feel we’re so well read, and we pity others who don’t grasp what we’re saying. 

We can destroy a lifetime relationship because we don’t bother to dig deeper to understand and listen more closely. 

Seeing Color Differently

Many years ago I took a class from artist Camille Przewodek. She would point out colors she saw and paint them, but I could not see them — until she taught me how to see by making me toil over hours of painting colored blocks in sunlight. Suddenly I could understand what she was trying to say. I put in that effort because I had interest. But how much effort do I put in to understand my friends, those I meet, or the needs of my own family?

I need to listen more carefully, not only to the words, but the filter behind the words. 

How many times have you felt something was off, and you ask if everything is OK, and you hear “I’m fine.” But the body language says, “She’s not fine.” You can choose to accept it, or peel back the onion a little more. 

People want to be heard and understood. 

How would you rate yourself on your hearing? I’d probably fail the test. 

Listening with Your Eyes

Recently a discussion with an employee stood out because I was hearing everything was fine, but I was seeing it wasn’t. I could have let it go, but I sensed that I needed to probe gently. One layer at a time, I discovered the employee was unhappy, thinking about leaving because she wasn’t being heard. She cared deeply and was not feeling as though I was doing something that needed to be done. By tuning in, listening carefully, not being eager to have all the answers, I was able to resolve the situation. But I almost didn’t go down that path, because I was busy, focused on something else, and not hearing. 

Where are you not hearing?

What is your pride or ego preventing you from hearing? 

Who in your family, or who in your life, needs you to hear them, understand them, and hear things from their perspective? 

Are you truly listening?

Eric Rhoads

PS: The next time someone says something that makes you recoil, ask yourself this: Am I respecting them? Am I automatically ruling them out because I don’t buy into what they are saying? Is this something I need to understand more? Should I listen more deeply and try to understand?

There are things in my life I was never receptive to that I later embraced.

There are also roadblocks in our heads, because we don’t see ourselves in these things. But what would change if you opened up to listen and explore? What if instead of telling yourself, “That’s not for me,” you instead say, “I wonder why this person is trying so hard to get me to pay attention to this. Maybe there is something they understand that I can’t see. Maybe I need to open myself up to exploration before ruling it out.”

PS 2

Are you listening to yourself? To your heart? Or are you letting other things cloud your decisions about what is good for you?

There was a moment in time when I was introduced to painting. I was interested, but I lacked belief that I could do it. So when an opportunity came up, I came to a crossroads. If I had listened to the negative noise in my head, I would have turned left. Instead, I went the other direction, even though I was uncomfortable and afraid. 

That single decision at a crossroads changed my life forever. Not only did it help me see the world through the eyes of an artist, it helped me launch a whole world I would never have anticipated. A world where we were able to create art magazines, newsletters, retreats, conferences, video training, online events, and so much more. 

Turning left would have taken me in a different direction. Turning right actually resulted in helping millions of others discover how to see the world through the eyes of an artist. It’s helped them become part of something bigger, part of a community, and it appears to have enriched their lives. 

When you feel your heart tugging, listen. It may be God telling you something that will allow you to enrich your own life and the lives of others. 

I’m stubborn. I want to control everything. But I’ve learned that I have control of nothing. I have to listen, I have to ask for guidance, I have to pay attention to those little voices in my head. Yet I have to decide which voices are for good and which are for evil.

Thirteen years ago, that little voice told me to relaunch PleinAir Magazine. I had closed it years before because it was bankrupting me. I was broke and out of money. So I changed its name to Fine Art Connoisseur, and we survived. (I’m also passionate about realism.) 

When that voice told me to relaunch it, my advisers told me not to do it. They told me I would be bankrupt. It was a bad business decision. But my heart was tugging at me. And it was tugging at me to launch a convention with the relaunch. Again, my advisers told me not to do it. 

It was like going to Vegas and laying all of my life savings and all my efforts in business on red, spinning the wheel, and hoping I’d win. 

Thankfully, things worked out, and now we are about to celebrate 10 years of the Plein Air Convention (keep in mind, we had to cancel two different years). 

COVID came along, and in one day, we went from having 1,200 people signed up for the convention to having almost everyone cancel. Again, it almost killed my business. We had to refund all the money, but the hotel was still insisting on being paid. Plus we canceled our FACE event and the hotel decided to sue us for breach of contract. It cost us a fortune to resolve that. And we got hit with $50,000 in credit card fees. The little voice told me that it would not be right to deduct the fees from the refunds. So we got stuck.

We were hanging on by a thread. Our response was to launch online virtual conferences, and it saved us. Otherwise our ability to help out the plein air world would be over, and there would be no more Plein Air Convention, no more PleinAir Magazine, no more Fine Art Connoisseur, no more anything. 

We dodged a bullet.

Thankfully, a lot of people have signed up for the Plein Air Convention, but we’re not yet at our pre-COVID numbers. If you were one of those people who signed up, canceled, and has not come back, I’d appreciate it if you’d consider joining us. This is the last time we will be in Colorado. 

And if you’re new to this and want to understand the plein air lifestyle of painting outside, making friends, and being challenged and creative, consider coming to find out what this is all about. You’ll learn everything you need to know to get started — you’ll see all the things you’ll want to buy at the convention — you’ll watch hundreds paint together in amazing beauty, and you can choose to paint along or not. You won’t regret it. 

You might be saying “someday,” but if everyone said someday, someday would never come. Last year a woman told me she had been meaning to come for years, but never got around to it. She told me she was so thrilled to be there, it was much better than she anticipated, and she had a great time and made lots of friends. And I’m glad, because I heard from her husband that she passed away unexpectedly a few months ago, and that he is happy she decided to go. 

If your heart is telling you to do something, listen and do it. There is never enough time, there is always something else you have to do, there is never enough money, conditions are never perfect. If your heart is telling you that you need to be there, you need to find a way. pleinairconvention.com

PS3

It’s amazing what gets into our heads. I used to travel most of my year. Yet I have not traveled too much since COVID. I did do my annual June Adirondacks and Fall Color retreats, and I did take a group to New Zealand. But for some reason I’ve been telling myself I need to cut back, travel less. 

On Tuesday I decided to travel to Las Vegas to see one of my key employees receive an award of major importance from the Broadcast Foundation. I received their Broadcast Pioneer Award a decade or more ago, and Deborah Parenti was due to receive their Broadcast Leadership Award. I wanted to be there. 

But as I was packing, I found myself reluctant to travel. I found myself looking for excuses not to go. But I went.

Not only did I make her special event, I reconnected with people I had not realized I missed seeing. It was a rewarding experience, and I found myself meeting new people, including some people I needed to meet, and some I hadn’t known I needed to meet. 

Our heads can be a deep, dark place, and we can end up ruminating on things that simply are not true. Had I not gone on this trip, I would have missed out on some very rich experiences. I’m glad I went. 

I want to take a second and tell you about Deborah Parenti. She had applied for a small role as conference coordinator for our radio division. She must have called me 30 times, and, yes, I found it annoying. But once she got me on the phone, she was amazing, and I immediately was drawn to her. So, a little reluctantly, I hired her.

Deborah is that person who always overdelivers. She cares deeply about the success of those she encounters, and she always accomplishes more than humanly possible. She is so good that I decided to back away from that division, which was my baby, and turned it over to her, making her president of the division. It was one of the best decisions of my life. She is very deserving of the award. She truly is a leader. 

PS 4

At the award ceremony, there were awards given to a couple of people who have passed on, including Rush Limbaugh and my friend Jim Thompson, a broadcast leader. Listening to acceptance speeches from friends or family, I had a moment of clarity. Life comes down to a couple of sentences when someone is honoring you. “He did this and that with his career, started this or that company, and helped these people by working with this or that.” 

In the past I’ve written about writing your own obituary in advance, so you can get clarity on what you want to accomplish in your life. This was an eye-opener for me, because I realized I’m not giving back enough, I’m not helping enough people. I don’t think life is about the companies you founded or the jobs you held, it’s about the people you helped. I realized I need to do more. I’d love your feedback on what I can be doing to help others. I’ll listen. But if I do it, I may not talk about it…

PS 5

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others.” Matthew 6:14

I don’t want my name on a building. I don’t want to talk about my giving, I don’t want others to know what or how much I give. I do tell my employees part of it, because they need to know we have a bigger mission than just showing up at work. But otherwise I no longer share it. 

There was a time when I’d want to announce it with trumpets, but I realized that if I did that, my giving might not have been pure and for the right reasons. I don’t want to give so that I look good (though my ego tells me I should). I don’t want people to like me or pay attention to me because they think I’ll be a big donor. So I remain silent. Laurie and I pray about where we can help, and we seek to make a difference.

We are often critical of organizations, churches, ministers, etc, about asking for money. I think it’s healthy to remain skeptical. But last week in church I heard this message that was so powerful, I think everyone should watch it, because it’s not about what you give but what you receive when you give. https://austinridge.org/sermons/what-do-you-get-out-of-giving

This Texas ranch house is shaking with the thunder that seems almost continuous from the massive storms. Water is pouring down in buckets as I sit dry and well-protected on the long wooden porch. Finally I can take a deep breath without inhaling pollen spores, since they’ve been dampened down by the rain. My heart is filled with joy, not only because of this day, but because I try to find joy even on the most difficult days.

Easter Memories

This morning my mind took me back to 5311 Indiana Avenue, in Fort Wayne, Indiana. A little brown house my parents bought for $50,000 (today its value is $233,000). It was a model home for a new neighborhood called Woodhurst. 

We would color eggs in the little kitchen the night before with my mom and dad. My brothers and I would wake up on Easter morning and have to find our hidden Easter baskets, and then we would become energy bunnies after eating most of the chocolate in one sitting. Then I would put on my little bow tie and my red sport coat, and I’d strap on my hidden James Bond 007 gun holster under my jacket and head to church. The problem, of course, is that it’s hard when you’re young to sit still and listen any time. But after a basket of chocolate, it’s doubly hard. 

Easter Orphans

After church, we would usually go to my grandparents’ little house at 317 West Wildwood, the house my mom lived in when she was in high school. (There should be a plaque, because my grandparents and my mom were saints!) At all holiday meals, there were always “orphans” invited, usually family friends who were alone, widowed, or visiting town. Raymond MacPeek was always there. He served in the Merchant Marines with my dad and was always single. And Dellia, an old lady who was our other grandma; we’d known her since we were born. She used to live across the street from my Grandmother Rhoads, but when her husband and kids were killed, she was left with nothing, so my grandparents gave her a room and supported her for the rest of her life. I wonder if I would be so generous.

I feel like I was raised well by good people. They were not wealthy, but they were rich. They had hearts of servants. Their radar was always searching for people in need, people they could help. They were not selfish people; they always seemed to put themselves last.

What does it mean to serve?

I’m trying to learn this, trying to lose my sense of self and put myself last instead of first. I want to serve my kids, I want to serve my wife, I want to serve my friends, my community, and the people who support me in so many different ways. 

Lose Yourself

My recent realization is that most conflict in my life comes from my selfishness, needing to be right, making things about me or my needs. How would we change if we put others first, before ourselves?

Look for Opportunities

Someone told me something recently that I had never considered… “Be on the lookout for opportunities to give.” At first it did not resonate with me, but then they said, “When listening to others, ask yourself how you can help them. What do they need?”

Too much of my life was focused on “How can I get them to give me something?” It used to be that way for me in business … how can I get someone to buy, how can I get someone to do what I need done? But an amazing thing happens when you flip your script away from your needs and totally focus on their needs. 

It does not have to be about giving money. It can be about giving time, advice, experience. 

My therapist friend tells me, “The best thing for depressed people is to volunteer to help others. Suddenly they forget about their problems and come to life by serving.”

Listening Closely

Two weeks ago, I put serving more on my radar. Every time I talk to people I am looking for clues to how I can help them. Just last week a friend told me he had a family member involved in starting a new church. I could not stop thinking about it, so I asked him to introduce me to his family member and I called, asking how I could help. It turned out she was having a specific problem that she did not know how to solve, and though I could not solve it, I knew who could, and made an introduction. I had no idea what the need would be, but I just assumed they might need something.

Try it for just one week.

Starting today, listen for where you can help. Then offer to help. Offer to serve. See what happens. I was amazed at how much joy I felt when I looked at everything with the intent of helping others.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I hope you have an awesome Easter today!!

I mentioned that I had a 007 holster I would wear. When I grew up I wanted to be a spy like James Bond. I had a toy secret briefcase with spy tools, and I had toy listening devices. It all seemed very glamorous. It does not appeal to me today; I wouldn’t make a good spy because I’d blurt out everything the first time I got caught. 

I can remember my first James Bond movie, but I never imagined I’d ever meet a “Bond Girl”! I just learned that Jane Seymour was one of the early Bond Girls, so I’ll meet my first Bond Girl ever when she comes to Denver to attend the Plein Air Convention & Expo next month and help us celebrate our 10th birthday. I hope to see you there to work on your painting skills and to celebrate with us.

Nature’s colors are beyond anything any artist is capable of reproducing. The color harmony of this morning’s sky, filled with peach, pink, purple, green, yellow, and gray-blue. The spring greens on the twisty oaks, and the thick carpet of blue flowers, this year the best I’ve ever seen them.

I feel blessed to stare out at the backyard, the distant view, the deep lavender mountain, during a moment of perfect peace. I look forward to my quiet time when others still sleep, when it’s just me, my thoughts, and my faithful dogs.

Trying Something New

Two weeks ago, I tried something new. I decided to celebrate spring by asking people worldwide to join a broadcast from my backyard. I called it a global “paint-out” — a gathering of artists to paint. I invited some friends and ended up with about 30 local artists painting in my backyard, while we saw people all over the world watching and painting together. Suddenly the art world is flooded with paintings of one scene. 

Chainsaws Galore

Doing a live event always has its challenges. Millions of tree branches were downed in the recent ice storms, and cleanup will be a yearlong process for many. And that means the quiet of this beautiful spot is interrupted by a symphony of chainsaws in all directions. For two days before the event, my neighbor, owner of a very large property, had a whole crew sawing away, so noisy I could not think.  

Out of the Blue

When my producer came out to do a practice setup, he mentioned that the sawing was going to be a problem and would be picked up on the mics, which of course I had anticipated. So I walked over to the tree guys, got the name of their boss, and made a phone call, putting me in touch with the owner of the property by text. In a series of texts I mentioned two concerns: the possible change of our view, which could result in us looking into his home (and him looking at ours) and the noise during the broadcast. 

My first text was not well received. He would do whatever he wanted to do, these are his trees. The tone, I thought, was overreacting and inappropriate.

My first reaction was to fight back, because bullies need to be challenged and not allowed to be bullies. But I took a deep breath and did not write what I first wanted to write. 

Instead, I paused and said a quick prayer for guidance. I did not want to have a reaction rooted in my ego. Instead, I prayed for the man. I heard “Love your neighbor.”

My dad used to say you never know what’s going on in someone’s world. If they are having a bad reaction to something, it may be because of other things going on in their life. 

In Another Man’s Shoes

I don’t know this man well, I’ve only met him one time, but I know he co-owns one of the world’s biggest companies, has tens of thousands of employees, and lives in a pressure cooker environment. He has to make tough decisions every day, and the last thing he needs is some neighbor blowing up his texts with another problem to solve, probably in the middle of a meeting. And who knows what else is going on with his family or his health?

So my response was firm, but in a nice way, not allowing him to bully but also loving and understanding. And the outcome was positive and unexpected. 

My ego wants to fight. I don’t want to be told what to do. I want to be right all the time. But had I gone down that path, I would be at war with a neighbor. Instead, the situation was defused.

Does this sound familiar in your life? 

Communication is one of the hardest things to learn. It’s always easier to just slam someone or be the bull in the china shop. But the breakage is high, and often irreparable. 

Bad Reactions

Looking back, I can see dozens of times when my reaction was too harsh, or I was too rushed to take proper time to respond. Usually I was not being mindful of what others were going through or how they might perceive what I said.

Too many times it’s been a harsh e-mail, other times an e-mail or text not intended to be harsh, but taken that way. And the breakage has, in some cases, never been repaired. 

“Take a deep breath,” I tell myself. Say a quick prayer and pray about the situation. And pray for the person you think is doing you wrong. Because when you do that, you are bound to see a perspective you had not considered. 

Vulgar and Hurtful

I was once communicating with someone by text when suddenly he laid into me, saying some horrible things. It was the worst encounter I can ever remember in my life. It was vulgar, hurtful, and shocking. I honestly did not know how to respond. And I don’t remember now how I responded or if I just went silent. But a few days passed, and an unsolicited apology came in, stating that the man was an alcoholic, had fallen off the wagon, and had anger issues when he drank. It took a big man to admit that, and to apologize. And I said a simple thank you and have had no contact since — because, I suppose, I assume it will happen again. (And this is why it’s dangerous and foolish to drink and then get on your phone.)

Ego Out of Control

We are imperfect humans who often have a high opinion of ourselves. “Don’t you know who I am?” has been uttered by many of us far too many times. “I need to speak to your manager now!” “I’ll own this place!” “I’ll never be back!” and other silly things we utter in anger like spoiled children, usually to powerless employees at the restaurant or store we’re visiting when things don’t go well. Or we lash out on Zoom calls or drop F-bombs in meetings. 

Stupid Management Tricks

I used to think, “My way or the highway.” I used to be the manager who had to have my way always, and I’d lash out when it did not happen. I’ve disrupted people’s lives by firing them on the spot when they were angry and stirring things up. But, thankfully, I grew out of that. Sometimes I want to do it, but I bite my tongue and try like crazy to be patient. And if appropriate, I’ll talk to them later, when I’m calm, to use it as a learning moment. 

What if instead of reacting, you pause? Rather than firing back with a scathing e-mail, you tell yourself to wait 12 hours? What if rather than getting back or getting even, you simply stop, say a quick prayer, and try to see their side? What might they be going through? 

The Biggest Loss You’ll Ever Know

One of the hardest things I’ve had to do is to lose myself, lose my ego. Ego can be good because it can push you to do great things, but it’s also one of the most destructive forces on earth. If we can lose ourselves, focus on the needs of others, look for ways to love the unlovable, we’ll see new things open up in our lives that we never imagined possible. We can either be impressed with ourselves and try to impress others, or put all that aside and just be loving to everyone. I’ve never said it’s easy, but it changes your heart, changes everything about your life, and makes life so much easier. 

Ultimately, my event still had the sound of chainsaws. For whatever reason, someone along the way decided to keep them going anyway. And another neighbor had a leaf blower going. It may have made the broadcast less pristine, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin an otherwise perfect day. 

If someone ruins my day, I can live with it. My goal is to not ruin someone else’s day. What about you?

Eric Rhoads

PS: The global paint-out was a big success. We had about 4,300 people sign up to watch or paint along, and we had people around the world taking part. It was fun, and different, and I learned a lot from it. I learned that I miss being around people; having local painters here at the house was wonderful. As a result, I can hardly wait to be at the Plein Air Convention, and a reunion of old friends and new.