A squirrel chatters loudly as it jumps across the lace-like tree branches that surround my 140-year-old octagon-shaped porch overlooking the lake. It’s my favorite place — where I have morning coffee, where I read in the evenings, and where I sit to relax during those rare times when I have downtime. When guests come, it’s where most of our chatting takes place, and it’s where I practice my guitar. Sometimes I just sit and stare at the lake and listen to the loons.
Unlike June, our first month here at the lake, when things were silent and it was rare to see a boat or a neighbor, the July 4th holiday stimulated most surrounding camps to fill every cabin with guests. It got busy with boats and parties, and now it’s deadly quiet again. But most will be back in another week for the rest of the summer.
Some summers at the Rhoads camp are packed with visiting friends, but so far we’ve had no guests. But we’ve had the gift of having all three kids home together, a rarity these days with their busy lives. I told them I’m happiest when we are all together.
Another Lake Another Time
Growing up, life seemed normal when my parents and brothers and I were all together at our lake home on Lake Wawasee in Indiana. We boated, sailed, did water skiing and canoeing together, cooked out, and played games at night. We managed to carry that summer tradition through high school and college ages. And we were shocked when we thought it was all coming to an end, when Dad sold the place to move off the lake after being there for three generations.
None of us were terribly excited about the new place in the Adirondacks, not because it wasn’t beautiful, but because our tradition, our secure feeling, was uprooted. Our comfort zone had been disrupted. But dad was ultimately right. Living on Golden Pond was better. We fought it for a while, but eventually fell in love with the new place’s stunning beauty, lush woods, and rich history. And we continued those same family traditions here and built new, better traditions, like breakfast in the tiny Trapper Cabin and dessert and ghost stories in the Teepee.
The Power of Disruption
It takes a special vision to disrupt family tradition, to abandon a place where our grandparents and great-grandparents had lived. But it had changed, and instead of a quiet, tree-lined lake, it had become packed with houses squeezed in together and thousands of loud, exhaust-spewing ski boats and jet skis. A teenager’s dream, but not a very peaceful place for civilized adults.
I wonder if I could have done what my dad did, making a disruptive change for the better against the wishes of my family. Or would I succumb to the pressure to keep things the way they are, just because it’s always been done that way?
What about you?
Family is one thing, business is another. Recently I’ve experienced some planned disruption in my business. I felt the need to make a change and replace a perfectly lovely person, and friend. There was nothing wrong with this person, who was perfectly competent, but change was needed to take things to the next level, and there was no place to put this person. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it was the right thing to do if I was to prepare for the next level of growth. In reality, I resisted it; I did not want to let go and make the change, because comfort is easier than disruption.
Disruption is painful. It’s uncomfortable. Having to ask good people to move on is the worst. Yet if you don’t do it, you eventually risk suffering the effects of no change, which can put more jobs at risk.
Is there a place in your life or work where your gut is telling you to make a change, but you’re resisting?
Pain Is Gain
Every high achiever I’ve ever studied has said exactly the same thing: You don’t grow if you don’t face pain. Making changes in your life, your work life, your relationships is painful. Not making them tends to result in becoming like a stale pond of still water … stagnant and gathering algae. Yet when you put a fountain in the middle of a pond, to agitate the water and keep things alive and moving, the pond recovers from being stale. The same is true for life.
Are you due to be agitated? Have you become stale?
Apple founder Steve Jobs, who was known for disruption, famously said, “Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity, not a threat.” His perspective embraces disruption rather than fearing it. Even Helen Keller highlighted the power of adversity: “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Facing pain head-on can lead to resilience and strength. As 1888 presidential candidate Frederick Douglass said, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”
Recently a Navy SEAL talked in a TikTok video about how all the good things that happened in his life occurred because of his willingness to endure pain. The more pain you suffer, the better things get.
’I Should Have Done It Sooner’
I often hear those words from someone who delayed making a change for years, only to look back and realize it was not as painful as they had feared, and that things were better. Someone else I know told me they had clung to a job they hated, eventually got fired, and told me it was the kick in the butt they needed. Life is better as a result. It might be a job, a relationship, or a work-related decision.
Using Milestones
We are officially at the halfway point of 2024. It went by so fast — it feels like it was just New Year’s. I like to look at milestones like this as a chance to start thinking about what I want to change next year, then using the next six months to make a plan and lay the track. If I don’t, life gets away and growth never happens. Birthdays are a great time to ask yourself if you’re happy, or if you need to make changes or need to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
If something about that is ringing true, ask yourself, “What should I do about it, and why do I fear it?” What’s the worst that can happen? It’s probably not as bad as you think it is.
Be bold. Be strong. Make a decision and move forward so you don’t become a stagnant pond.
Eric Rhoads
PS: A friend of mine says, “If I lose sleep over something more than three nights, I need to make a change.” Usually it’s about someone causing you grief that needs to move out of your life. Sometimes, though, we tolerate it because they are people we cannot completely disconnect from … like family. What are you losing sleep over?
I used to lose sleep over learning to paint. I wanted to do art, but I feared that I would fail, so I did nothing. I knew I did not have natural talent and couldn’t even draw a stick figure well. My attempts reinforced my beliefs, and once a teacher even told me, “You really aren’t cut out for this.” I was devastated but not surprised.
Years later, I accidentally came across info about an instructor who sounded different, so I sought him out, and he discovered things inside of me I didn’t know existed. A great teacher can make the difference.
I’ve devoted the last two decades to teaching people how to paint, and the result is that massive numbers of people have discovered their inner gifts, once someone like us showed them how to bring them out.
I now paint in most mediums (oil, watercolor, acrylic, gouache, pastel), and knowing what I know now, if I had to start over, I’d start with pastel. Why? Because my earlier start was confused by formulas and mixtures to make color and make it flow. I was intimidated by oils, smells, chemicals. But with pastel, you already know how to use it … it’s like a sophisticated crayon, with brilliant color. You don’t have to learn to mix chemicals or mix colors, you just learn by putting one color over another. And in most cases, you just choose the color you want.
My annual Pastel Live online event has taught thousands to paint over each of the last few years. If you immerse yourself for 3 days (and 4 if you choose our optional Essentials Day for beginners or as a refresher), you can’t help but walk away knowing how to paint and feeling like you made huge progress. Then as you practice, knowing the principles learned from the 30 or so top masters teaching, you skip a lot of years of trying to figure it out on your own.
The event is coming September 18-20. If you cannot attend live, just know that you get replays with each signup that you can watch on your own schedule. Though the experience is best when you’re with us live.
Visit PastelLive.com
I enjoyed these thoughtful and timely reflections. Thank you. I know what I need to let go of, now need to decide what, if anything, I want to add.
You gave a really great example on using pastels! I have been literally intimidated by them, unsure of really how to use them! This article turned the light bulb on for me!
Thank you so much Eric! Maybe now i can try to finish some pieces I’ve left on the shelf!