Need a new search?

There is magic in mornings like this. The house is still and quiet as I walk barefooted on the old wooden floors to the porch that surrounds this Texas ranch house. The sky right before sunrise is misty, and filled with pastel-colored light. Soft purples and blues can be seen in the distant hills, which have lost all detail as they stand silhouetted against the pink and yellow sky. Moments later, the top of the mountain is a glowing yellow, and gradually, the entire mountain is engulfed in light. I love the moment where the light meets the shadow and the tip of the mountain glows, creating a middle color between the bright sky and the dark shadow. To me, as a painter, it’s one of the hardest things to capture, but so pleasing when I get it right.

Dreams and Ideas

Though I cannot tell you the cause exactly, vivid dreams have been filling my head since the week of Christmas to today. Each day I awaken energized with new ideas, new concepts, and new ways to change the world … or at least my little world. I’m recalling experiences with others that never occurred, and recognizing the people in my dreams. And when I awaken, I have a sense of clarity, a new hope, so much so that I’m more enthusiastic about my days than I can remember. There is no better feeling.

Wondering Why

Nothing has changed in my diet or my regimen of vitamins and supplements, though I suspect my recent increased level of exercise has something to do with it. I had been going to the gym daily, five days a week, but that stopped with COVID quarantines. As I gained my “COVID 10,” it was clear I needed to take action, but unfortunately, a gym environment wasn’t making me feel secure. So I splurged for a machine, which so far is getting almost daily use. I’m hopeful it won’t become a coat rack like others in the past.

Letting Go

Though I believe the exercise contributes, I think it’s the peace of mind that everything is going to be OK. In spite of the turmoil, the news, the insanity of 2020 and all that has come with it — including a clear understanding that no one source can be relied upon for accurate information, and that will create confusion — it ultimately comes down to one thing. God is in control. There is that old saying, “Let go and let God.” I think I finally got there. There is something very freeing about letting go and holding perfect balance.

A Clean Slate

After a couple of days of celebration, the whiteboard of 2020 has been wiped clean. Standing before us is an empty slate, and we have the gift of a new year, knowing that we get to start over. I’m going to draw a big smiley face on the board, based on my expectations.

Hippies Everywhere

As a child of the ’60s, I can remember when the smiley face came out. It was everywhere — on stickers, on patches, on black light posters with psychedelic fluorescent colors. I wore an old army jacket with a giant smiley face patch on the back, about the size of a dinner plate. Unlike so many of my friends who were protesting everything, like the Vietnam War and other social issues (which I too felt were problems, though I think I was too young to understand just how much), I was making a statement, and it was, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

Overwhelming Moments

Like most, I’ve had moments in my life where things seemed pretty overwhelming —

moments of depression over lost loves, lost businesses, and sad situations. Yet that patch on my back has always been there, long after the old army jacket was lost. And this idea of trusting that everything is going to be OK, that there is a silver lining to all those dark clouds, and of seeking the good in the midst of all evil has worked. It’s like the line from some past presidential speech about the shining city on a hill. Darkness may be consuming, but as long as there is a light of hope, that light will always prevail.

I’ve spent a good bit of my life being criticized for that patch on my back. And it’s hard to explain why hope prevails in certain dire situations when others are hurting. But I know we all need the hope that that light, that smiley face, will return. 

Maybe I’m a little too glib for some. Frankly, it just makes some people mad. There are people who, like me, have decided to wear a patch on their back, but instead of seeking light, they are seeking darkness. I don’t think it’s intentional; it just happens to them. Or so they would say.

Rose-Colored Glasses

If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that we have a choice on the processing we use, the filter through which we look. You and I cannot control the horrific things that get laid upon our shoulders, often so heavy a burden that it feels like it’s going to crush us. I’ve had so many of those moments when I felt there was no way out, and many times it consumed me. Yet I would always somehow find that one tiny spot of light, and soon it would get bigger and bigger. I think the difference is that I’m looking for it.

A Mentor Walking with You

I read something in a book called Jesus Calling, which is a daily devotional Laurie reads out loud most mornings. It says that problems are there to teach us important lessons, like a mentor who walks side by side with us through life. And that as soon as we stop looking at problems as problems and look at them as lessons, that mentor can walk peacefully with us through our lives, and those problems won’t drag us down.  

Knowing that problems are lessons we can embrace somehow makes them easier to bear. And when I’m looking through problems, I’m seeking the light. What am I supposed to learn from this? 

This all boils down to the lens, the filter, the attitude we select. You can reach up to the shelf and grab a dark filter or a light filter. 

Which will you choose for 2021?

We are a country that has been divided. There are those who are wondering why we’re having the outcomes we’re having. Why would God let this happen? Why can’t I get my way? I wonder the same things, and often allow myself to get worked up and manipulated by the news. But once I let go, understand that there is a reason I may not understand, and seek the light, I am given peace to trust the plan.

What about you? Can you trust the plan?

What is the symbol you’ll wear on your jacket? You have a choice.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I don’t ask much, but there is someone in your life who needs to read this. Pass it on.

Briefly, I want to tell you something that made a change in my heart. A brief story. I was a pretty hard-driving business guy, pushing for meaning through my business, trying hard to make money. But, for some reason I cannot explain, it never was a suit that fully fit. Something was missing.

When I was about 39, I wandered into an art store while waiting for my wife to complete an appointment. Remembering fun at the table with my mom growing up, painting side by side, I walked out with a bag of art supplies and a little tabletop easel. 

I came home and set up a studio in a little space at the very top of the stairs, and I tried to copy photographs. But it was not going well. I could not get the globby paint to perform, and I was unable to make what was in my head show up on the canvas. I tried for weeks, but nothing was working. So I did what any self-respecting person does when they hit the wall of frustration in art.

I told myself I did not have any talent. And I gave up. I put everything in a box in the closet and resigned myself to the fact that I did not get the gene for painting.

Soon thereafter, on my 40th, Laurie bought me an art lesson at the Armory in West Palm Beach. I showed up all enthusiastic, but when I got in the class, the instructor told me to express myself and throw the paint on the canvas. My heart wasn’t in it, so I told him I wanted to learn how to paint real things, like flowers or a bottle, a face, or people (I didn’t even know the terms for still life or portrait).

He discouraged me, saying, “No one does that anymore. That’s old school.” 

Heartbroken, I tried to like what he was teaching, but after three Saturdays, I gave up again.

Soon after, I was in Miami visiting a friend. We had been to lunch in his car. He dropped me at my own car and took off. When I reached in my pocket for my keys, I realized they had fallen out in his car. I couldn’t reach him, and I didn’t think to call a locksmith, so I called a cab. This turned out to be the cab ride that changed my life forever.

With an hour and a half drive, I struck up a conversation with the driver, who turned out to be an artist supplementing his income. I told him my story, and he told me about a fellow in West Palm Beach, at the same art center, who taught classical painting. He was in the lineage of the Old Masters (he’d studied with people who studied with people, all the way back to the masters).

It took me a year to get up the courage to visit, because I had that thought rattling around in my head: that I lacked talent.

The day I arrived, I sat in the car in the parking lot for a while. I got in and out of the car. Should I go in or not? My palms were sweating. But finally, I went in.

As I entered, I could see several people painting, and their paintings, all copies of Old Masters, were way beyond anything I could see myself doing. So I did an about face and started to leave.

Thankfully this little man, Jack Jackson, called me back and asked if he could help me. Little did I know he was an angel sent from God to change my life that day.

I told him my story, and he told me I could do it, no talent required, because he taught a system. “If you can type,” he said, “you can do this.” It didn’t even require drawing skill (though it’s a good idea to learn it, he said). 

He said to give him 18 months and I could be doing work like the paintings I saw. Then he pulled me in and gave me a small project that taught me something right away. I worked on that project for a couple of hours while listening to him with the others. Then I came back again and again, and soon, I was painting at the level of the others. It did not even take 18 months.

One day, after a year or more, I was on a business trip and visited the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, a museum at the top of the hill by the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s where I saw my first Bouguereau painting. I stood in front of it and could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. It was the first time I teared up over a painting, but it was because the artist had accomplished such mastery. I teared up because I now understood what he must have gone through to reach such a high level. I can remember seeing the veins under the skin, strands of hair, and toenails that looked perfectly real.

At that moment I declared that I was going to spend the rest of my life in art. 

I did not know what I was going to do, or how, but it was because of Jack Jackson and how he opened my eyes.

That was over 20 years ago. Since then I’ve been driven to help others who, just like me, believed they could not do it because they had self-doubt and the belief that talent was required.

A couple of years ago I set a goal of teaching a million people to paint. My belief is that learning art changes your heart. I thought this would be the best way I could make an impact on the world. There are not many unhappy painters. And though there is constant frustration because we all want faster growth to the next level, we’re having fun and growing while doing it.

Since that “Bouguereau moment,” my life has been mostly devoted to art. We’ve reached a lot of people, taught tens of thousands of people to paint, and given encouragement to thousands more.

I want you to know I believe in you, and I believe you can do it, even though you don’t believe you can. I guarantee you can become an artist who is accomplished enough to be happy with your artwork. 

I know this is hard for you to believe. I was that way, the guy who could not draw a stick figure. Yet today, I’m in three galleries. Am I the best painter in the world? Far from it. But I’m living a dream, and you can too. It can be a dream of painting for pleasure, or taking it further to income. We teach it all.

Where do you start? 

I’d start at PaintByNote.com. I decided that painting is like music. If you can learn a few music notes, you can play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” or “Chopsticks.” Then, those same notes eventually lead you to Beethoven. A few simple notes, ranging from black to white, can teach you. It’s the system my mentor taught me, and it will help you learn painting foundations before you ever try color. And if you follow it, you can do it without learning to draw (which you eventually will want to do). There is a guidebook with free lessons in it, and if you want, there are some other things you could buy, but you don’t need to. 

The key to learning is just jumping in and putting your negative filters aside.

Next I want to tell you we have a watercolor event online later this month. Already over 1,300 people from around the world are coming. It’s inexpensive and has the world’s best watercolor artists teaching, and we even have a Beginner’s Day you can attend without registering for the whole thing. WatercolorLive.com

We do so much, I can’t list it all here, but it’s all available at StreamlinePublishing.com/Everything.

You can do this. You can make a resolution that you’ll give it a year. It could be the best, most satisfying thing you’ve ever done.

We are living in interesting times, and each of us has experienced something that is a part of history, a time future generations will look back to through our eyes. Though I knew most of my great-grandparents, I don’t have too many memories of their stories. But grandparents offered many a tale, family lore, tales of struggles and interesting times. 

The Great War

I can remember my Grandfather Walter telling stories about World War One. Not so much stories of war, but life in the army. I can remember sitting at the little yellow 1950s breakfast table in the kitchen of my grandparents’ Webster Street house as he told me I needed to learn to eat faster. “In the military they gave us only about five minutes to eat, and if you don’t eat fast, you won’t get enough, and you won’t know when the next meal is coming.” Yes, he converted me to a fast eater because I was too poky.

Al Capone Days

My other grandfather used to tell tales of living in a boarding house in Chicago during the Al Capone days. I seem to remember him saying that Chicago at the time was like the Wild West, with people getting gunned down by mobsters in broad daylight. I don’t know if he saw it or read about it, but it sticks with me. 

Dot Com

Today we hear stories of the “dot com era” of the Silicon Valley boom, when money was being thrown at companies and speed was needed to go public. Billions were made, and legends were created. I remember being so excited about it that I wanted to be part of it. 

A Big Win

Knowing nothing about raising money, I got on the phone with an old elementary school friend I had reconnected with as a result of a reunion. He was a venture capital guy in the middle of Silicon Valley and had been involved in some legendary companies. I told him I had an idea and had no idea how to get it funded. That call turned into a conference call, a quick flight out for an in-person meeting, and then multiple flights. The end result was that my idea was funded, we moved to San Francisco, and we were in the middle of a historic time. I met with people who became legends or funded legendary companies, including the founders of Google as it was just getting started, Napster, SalesForce.com before it was ever funded, and others. I’m sure I could bend your ear about those interesting times if you were ever to ask, and maybe one day I’ll be blessed with some curious grandchildren to listen.

Stories for the Future

Imagine being alive to tell your grandkids about a special time in America where you experienced something like the Civil War, the Revolutionary War, or more recently the Vietnam War or the Iraq War. 

Living History

We are living in one of those times now. Our lives will go down in history. We have spent most of 2020 in the midst of a worldwide pandemic. From it we’ve learned about ourselves, our families, our government, and what people are willing or unwilling to tolerate. We’ve learned about fear, about anger, and we’ve experienced a change in our culture. We’ve seen things in our streets we could never have imagined, we’ve watched our lives change, and we’ve gained or lost trust in others. As a result of 2020, we will never be the same. And, I suspect, one day some curious grandchildren will hear the stories of 2020 from us. 

I could cling to the stories of my grandparents for hours, but what was sometimes missing were the lessons they learned. Maybe they shared them and I missed it. 

Topsy Turvy

Here we are, having lived through 2020. We’ve had our world turned upside down. We’ve discovered that some we trusted cannot be trusted. We’ve learned that others we never suspected were capable of it would become patriots or heroes. We’re wondering who to believe about matters impacting our way of life. We’re hearing contradictory messages about science from equally credible people who disagree. Everything has been turned upside down.

There are millions of stories. Some will be stories of disruption and destruction, others of lost family, others of lost businesses. We’ll hear stories of wild and unexpected success along with stories of devastation. 

This week before we enter a new year, perhaps a new era, we’ll write our stories about 2020. 

If you were to write your 2020 story, what would you say? 

How will you say 2020 treated you?

What lessons have you learned that you can share with your future offspring?

I’d like to think that in 2021, we’ll get beyond 2020, see the sunshine of success again, and soon it will seem like a blur. 

Though I suspect, just like the Great Depression affected the behavior of an entire generation, we will think differently forever as a result of this year.

How will you think differently?

What will you DO differently?

I look at restaurants that have been around for decades going out of business. The great 21 Club in New York, which brought me lots of lifetime memories with friends, is going away forever. What could they have done differently? Maybe nothing, because the restaurants were forced to shut down. 

Rethinking Everything

You have to believe it will make people rethink leases on buildings, and wonder if the next business won’t require a building. It will make people rethink savings. A steady cash flow that continued week to week for decades wasn’t enough to keep some in business, because they had not saved enough to sustain them through something unexpected.

I’m wondering how many will want to work from home forever, who will no longer be out in the community. How many will never live in a city again due to the fears of experiences like civil unrest and basic supplies being unavailable?

How to Get My Attention

Though I don’t want to make light of tragedy … tragedy was the only thing that got my attention enough to fast-track things I’ve talked about for years but never done. I don’t think I realized just how vulnerable my income was, and had I not made some fast, radical decisions, I’m not sure I’d be able to write about it today.

That’s why it’s important for all of us to look at the lessons. 

Though many things were out of our control, what could we control? 

What could we do differently?

How could we have been more prepared?

This pandemic wounded many, destroyed many businesses, but at the end of the day, if we ponder the lessons, we’ll all be stronger for the unexpected next time. 

Yes, we’re living in interesting times, and there will be stories to share and lessons to learn. What will you take away from this tough year that will make you stronger and better?

Eric Rhoads

PS: I was listening to a podcast where Matthew McConaughey was interviewed about his new book, Greenlights. He talked about how most people stop at the red lights life puts in the way and how you have to learn to turn them into green lights. Pros never give up or give in; they keep at it till they find a way. If you believe in something, let no one, no discouragement, and no challenge get in your way. You can defy gravity. You have vision that no one else can understand and that others will discourage. Don’t let them talk you out of the great things you can do. There are no limits, and no age limits (too young or too old). No matter what is happening in the world, it cannot stop you. The limits exist only in your mind. Make 2021 the year you take your moon shot.

Back in April, if you’d have caught me on the right day, I was ready to give in. I was at a loss. I thought I’d be out of business. I faced laying people off, and I saw my business crash. I got pretty depressed for about 24 hours. But then I told myself, “Enough pity. It’s times like these that separate the amateurs from the pros.” Either I was going to accept things as they were, and accept failure, or I was going to find a way, no matter what. Failure was not an option. So I pulled myself together, and let fear guide me to action. I talked to all my mentors, talked to my team, and launched ideas that could have failed. In fact, I almost didn’t launch them because I was convinced they would not work. But I had nothing to lose. We survived 2020 by doing two virtual events when everything else was cancelled.

Our third virtual event, Watercolor Live, is coming up in January. It’s breaking all previous attendance records so far. It’s a gathering of the world’s best watercolor master artists, teaching watercolor. People are attending from 30 countries so far. You can become an incredible artist, and this is the open door inviting you in. Don’t let this opportunity pass. You CAN do this.

A sheen of ice covers the back deck as I let the dogs out this morning into the frigid air. The frost has coated the bushes as if they were dipped in white flour, and the dogs can’t wait to get back inside to the cozy warm fireplace. It’s the perfect morning to sit by the fire, smell the fragrant smoke, and hear the snap, crackle, and pop of the wood. Holiday music fills the air, and a big, soon-to-be-empty plate of cookies is sitting on the kitchen counter calling my name. As the song says, it’s beginning to look a lot like … well, you know.

I’m always amazed at how rapidly Christmas and then New Year’s come and go. The time between Thanksgiving and the first week of the new year is always a blur. And, once we get back in the groove, it’s February already.

Amateurs at Play

Back before I was a professional, I was an amateur goal-setter. I would wake up on January 1 after sleeping in and then, and not until then, I’d set my New Year’s resolutions. It was usually something about losing weight or getting rich. And, after thinking about it for the day, nothing ever happened until the following New Year’s Day. In fact, that’s the extent of goal-setting for most people. Gyms love it because people will sign up the first week of January, then never show up all year. But the act of paying for a gym membership makes them feel they are doing something about their health.

How the Big Boys and Girls Do Things

When I started learning about goal-setting from the pros, everything changed. I learned that in the major leagues, the people who take and achieve moon shots are the people who take this whole goal thing very seriously.

Now, what you do with your life is no business of mine. It is your choice. You may be perfectly happy as things are and you may want for nothing. If that’s you, stop reading now. If, however, you want to see how the big guns do it, stick around for a couple more minutes.

What Does Not Work

I’ve learned a lot about goals in my lifetime. And like most, I’ve read tons of books and heard lots of theories. At the end of the day, most of those books are written by people who never really accomplished anything — other than hitting financial goals by writing a book about goals. And most of their theories never worked for me. 

The phases of my life to the present time have been littered with failures, an occasional success, and a lot of accidental magic. 

Happy Accidents

Some of the best things that happened in my life were accidents, which brings me to my first of many thoughts on goals and life. Some of the best things that happen are never in your plans. Even the pros will tell you that no matter how much planning and goal-setting you do, something can come along that changes everything. The reality is that we all have opportunities fall in our laps. The difference between the amateurs and the pros is that the pros recognize opportunities when they appear, and they are ready to take action. They are willing to take a giant left turn, fast, without a lot of planning.

But here is the critical thing. 

We all get things dropped in our laps. The pros always know where they are going and why, and if something randomly drops in their laps, they can instantly determine if it’s a fit because they know if it fits into their goals or within their guardrails.

You Want Me to Do What?

Let me give you an example of something accidental that dropped in my lap. Maybe 10 or 15 years ago, I was approached by someone who suggested I become the CEO of their company. They threw out some big numbers and tried to interest me in the job. Though I was already running my own company, I usually explore everything. So I asked, “What will my life look like if I take this?” They quickly said I’d be spending a lot of time on an airplane, flying back and forth to Asia. About every two weeks, back and forth. I was quickly able to say, “I’m not your guy,” because I knew my guardrails and my goals. I politely ended the call.

Keep You From Running Off the Road

Guardrails are the things that fit within your ethics or your lifestyle. When my kids were young, one of my guardrails was that I wanted to be home as much as possible and travel as little as possible. Another was that I never wanted to work FOR anyone again. So when the call came in, I quickly found out I’d be traveling and working for someone else. Neither was a fit.

It’s Not a Fit

Goals, of course, are things that fit into where you’re going and fit with the value of your time. Let’s say you told yourself you were only going to invest time or resources in something that earned you at least $100,000 a year. If something came along where you would earn only half that, you’d know it’s not a fit — unless you are convinced you can make that $50,000 double. That’s a great way to determine if a shiny object that drops in your lap is worth pursuing. Goals and guardrails. 

In just about 10 days, you’ll be full steam into a new year. The pros already have their goals done and their guardrails determined. (I do mine in September.) But there is still time.

Menus Get More Attention

Most people spend more time deciding what to eat when they go out to dinner than they spend on their life goals. Carve out two hours a day for the next 10 days, and give it all some serious thought. Create three main goals, then sub-goals for each, and then work backward so you can break them out into monthly and weekly tasks toward your larger goals. That becomes your plan. Revisit it once a week, and strive to make that week’s goal happen. Add time to your calendar twice a week to THINK about your goals and challenges and ask yourself critical questions.This is how annual goals get reached.

Drifting at Sea

A body in motion stays in motion. A body at rest stays at rest. A boat adrift lands wherever the wind takes it. A boat with the motor running and following a map always arrives at its destination. Movement, with a map, is the key. And a great crew helps, including mentors with decades of experience. They are more valuable than gold because they have made their own maps of success and failure, and they can save you from yourself.

Determine what you want (goals) and what you don’t want (guardrails). Develop a plan, read it and act on it weekly, spend a lot of time thinking, get some great mentors, and amazing things can happen.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I was listening to a podcast where Matthew McConaughey was interviewed about his new book, Greenlights. He talked about how most people stop at the red lights life puts in the way and how you have to learn to turn them into green lights. Pros never give up or give in; they keep at it till they find a way. If you believe in something, let no one, no discouragement, and no challenge get in your way. You can defy gravity. You have vision that no one else can understand and that others will discourage. Don’t let them talk you out of the great things you can do. There are no limits, and no age limits (too young or too old). No matter what is happening in the world, it cannot stop you. The limits exist only in your mind. Make 2021 the year you take your moon shot.

Back in April, if you’d have caught me on the right day, I was ready to give in. I was at a loss. I thought I’d be out of business. I faced laying people off, and I saw my business crash. I got pretty depressed for about 24 hours. But then I told myself, “Enough pity. It’s times like these that separate the amateurs from the pros.” Either I was going to accept things as they were, and accept failure, or I was going to find a way, no matter what. Failure was not an option. So I pulled myself together, and let fear guide me to action. I talked to all my mentors, talked to my team, and launched ideas that could have failed. In fact, I almost didn’t launch them because I was convinced they would not work. But I had nothing to lose. We survived 2020 by doing two virtual events when everything else was cancelled.

Our third virtual event, Watercolor Live, is coming up in January. It’s breaking all previous attendance records so far. It’s a gathering of the world’s best watercolor master artists, teaching watercolor. People are attending from 30 countries so far. You can become an incredible artist, and this is the open door inviting you in. Don’t let this opportunity pass. You CAN do this.

The sounds of closing doors, rustling potato chip bags, steps on the back staircase, and the refrigerator door slamming at 3 a.m. have become unfamiliar these days, yet having three teens home from college has removed our silence and returned us to a house of vibrant activity, dishes left in the sink, and late-night returns home from seeing friends. 

At first it was disturbing, disrupting the silence these empty-nesters only recently discovered after 18 years of care-giving. But now they are joyous sounds, now that we’ve adapted again, this time knowing our guiding voices are needed a little less.

I used to rise early, while the house was sleeping, in order to find the sounds of silence. I’d escape to the back porch, overlooking the neighbors’ 40 acres of cattle. This morning, I sit in the living room, dogs on my lap, nudging me to pet them while my hands are juggling the keyboard. 

Seasonal Memories

Old friends greet me — the giant Christmas coffee cup and platter we have used for almost two decades to put out cookies and milk for Santa. The stockings with the names of each family member, the dogs, and dogs from our past. The tall strong nutcrackers stand guard by the fireplace, following instructions to let no one other than Mr. Claus enter. The color-filled tree, filling the air with the scent of pine, holds family heirlooms, treasures from our past. If there were to be a fire, those ornaments would be the biggest loss — ornaments with the kids’ faces on their first Christmas, reminders of vacations over the years, ornaments that were favorites from our childhoods that stimulate memories of our lifetimes.

A Solution to Hoarding

On the table in front of me is the old family Bible, used for generations and the place everyone documented family births and graduations to a better place. Beside it, a pair of preserved baby shoes that were mine, discovered with my mom’s special treasures when we had to clean out her house. Only a few items remain from the house of memories, which is now gone. Rather than take everything away with us (which would have been impossible), we each picked what we wanted and then took pictures of the things we had not seen in years so that, rather than becoming hoarders, we could get the good feeling of seeing them in our photo libraries.

Decades of Dust

When my grandparents died, the same process occurred. People took what they wanted and put those memories to use. My mom did the same, but the big stuff, like furniture, went into a storage unit she intended to use for a little while, until she could use the things in it “someday.” Laurie had the pleasure of driving to Indiana on the way home from New York, and having the storage people cut the lock off the unit and pry the door open. It had not been opened for 25 years, since the last time I visited to consolidate everything down to a smaller unit. Overall, my mom paid on that unit for 35 years, and those “someday” things never saw sunlight. This summer we’ll stop on our way back to the lake and spend a couple of days going through the dust, to fill a truck with some of those antiques to use in our antique lake cabin. The rest will be distributed to my brothers or to Goodwill.

Depression Babies

My Depression-era parents saved everything because they grew up with nothing. I was well trained in hoarding. I used to do a spring cleaning of my room and throw out toys and things I no longer needed, and when I came back from school they were all back in my closet. I eventually learned to keep everything, following in the footsteps of my past.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

For decades I begged my mom and my dad to not leave us with this mess to go through. Dad listened and has spent weeks combing through his storage unit and is no longer clinging to good things that should be put to use one day. Mom never did. The other remarkable three-year project was getting every photo and slide my dad ever made scanned to be stored digitally.

Starting Over

After a failed marriage over 30 years ago, I left with what I could fit in a couple of trips in my car, but it seems I’ve managed to keep everything since. Hundreds of paintings I’ve created, useful to no one but my memory. Oh, and piles of old business records, scrapbooks, boxes of photos, and a lot of stuff I’ll never use. Of course my fear is something good will end up at Goodwill. Thankfully, I’ve had all my paintings photographed and archived; I just need to get around to “comments” to explain the meaning of each. And of course there are about 30 portraits of me, by the greatest living masters, that will one day need a home.

When going through mom’s storage, I realized that the only things meaningful were memories we could relate to. Most everything she kept that had meaning to her was of little meaning to others.

The Giant Purge

One of the greatest gifts someone can leave their kids is a clean home with the excess distributed to heirs or removed. And, since this Christmas will be a homebound holiday for most, why not use the time for the great Christmas memory adventure? Scan the photos, photograph things you can let go of and give to charity, purge drawers filled with old gadgets that were once expensive but are no longer of any value, and comb closets to rid yourself of those favorite T-shirts you love but haven’t worn in decades. Your heirs will thank you. And, if you can, make your heirs part of the process. They may want things once they hear the stories behind them. Doing so will stimulate a Christmas of memories and an activity to create some family togetherness. 

The Cycle of Stuff

Life is funny. We start out with nothing, we want to make more money to buy more stuff and bigger houses, which we fill with even more stuff. Then, as we age, we eventually need to downsize, but instead of getting rid of things, we make storage unit owners rich. The guy who owns the storage unit I visited has one of the biggest houses in town and told me that most of his customers pay every month and have not visited in decades. His longest absentee customer hadn’t been seen in almost 40 years. My mom was his second-longest. 

Clinging to stuff is understandable, because we’re really clinging to memories. It’s hard to throw out a 30-year-old piece of furniture you paid a lot of money for. It’s hard to part with the old appliances you could barely afford. It’s practical to think you might use something or wear it again someday. 

What’s Holding You Back?

Stuff is an anchor. Friends once told me they wanted to downsize, but they had too much stuff and did not want to deal with it. So they never did … until their house burned and they were left with no stuff. Though it was a devastating moment that ruined their lives in many ways, they also told me that it may have been the only thing to get them to move on. Now they are building a modern dream house in the same spot, and it’s more of a fit with their lifestyle today.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

As I sit here writing this, I know that I’ll have to do it too. Shelves of stored paintings and books, old easels I have not used in years, gobs of paint. Yet I know someone will want it, and I can either sell it or give it away. I actually have an “eBay pile” of things I’ve intended to sell for the past decade. Never got around to it. It’s embarrassing. But it’s time for it to go, and I need to take the time to make it go.

So, Christmas vacation will be a staycation, and the virus may be doing us a favor by making us stay close to family and deal with the many needed projects that never get done. I don’t want to look back knowing I had the time and did not use it.

What about you?

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Joyous Holidays.

Eric Rhoads

PS: What’s better than accumulating stuff? Accumulating knowledge. I always want to grow, and this time is a great time to take online courses in something you want to learn. We have created thousands and thousands of hours of art training by the best in the world, which you can find here. 

We also have a rare gathering of the top watercolor artists in the world, teaching online for four days in January. It will make you a better painter, even if you’ve never painted. You can learn about Watercolor Live here.

We’re in survival mode, like most small businesses, so a subscription or a gift always helps. A gift guide is here and everything we do can be found here. Yes, it’s ironic to bring new stuff in when taking the old stuff out. But, when you give it, it’s going elsewhere too. 🙂

Today I’m excited. We’ve celebrated Thanksgiving and our triplets are home. College this year has no spring break, so they will all be home through January. 

Though I could get used to this empty-nester life, there is no joy quite like the joy of having my family together as one. But things will be different. Their taste of independence isn’t blending well with our need for some household rules — simple things like showing up for an occasional meal, or not coming in at five in the morning. We’ll have to make some adjustments on our end and try not to revert to high school rules now that they are spreading their little college freedom wings.

COVID Blessings

Before COVID, the kids were working, hanging with friends, and had mostly disappeared from the house. Then  COVID brought a few months at home as a family, a chance to be together and reconnect. And now, though we’re not in lockdown here (but being careful), we’ll have a couple more months to be together as a family.

Perhaps the same thing is happening to you.

Big Effort

I once learned something from my dad, something I never really knew was happening while we were growing up. I learned that he was deliberate in his effort to make memories.

As the beneficiary of that with my brothers, I assumed those memories just happened. But in fact, many of them were planned, and many of them took a great deal of effort.

Mega Memories

I can remember family vacations, with five of us packed into our old Oldsmobile. I can remember being in our T-bird convertible, breaking down on a one-lane road at a pass in Colorado and having to hitchhike into town. I can remember being terrified as we pulled our Airstream trailer up a steep incline, wondering if the car could make it. I remember visiting the White House, the Smithsonian, Mount Vernon, and having flashbacks as if I had been there before. I can remember camping on Lake Erie. I recall getting my grandma to ride on the back of a mini bike (I thought she was really old at the time, but she was younger than I am now). I remember the first time I heard my dad swear, when he hurt his finger while working on the boat engine (I was mortified). I can remember my mom bringing home a six-pack of beer, something we never had in our household, so she could wash her hair in it (or so we were told), and hiding it from my grandparents. 

I could go on.

If this were a competition between my parents and us as parents, I’m afraid my parents have done a better job of creating memories than we have, though we’ve created a bunch.

A New Chance

Now, I’m blessed with two months to make memories. And though I’ll be fighting whining kids who want to hang with friends, I’m sure my parents had to battle the same things. The only difference is that they did not have to battle cell phones and video games — though they did have to battle our addiction to black-and-white, then color TV, and shows like Dark Shadows, The Monkees, and Bonanza.

I’m not sure what memories I’m going to create, but I’ve decided I’m willing to endure the unpopularity of pushing through to get them to do something. 

What about you? 

We have the month before, Christmas, and possibly more time in quarantine together, and they will be home till mid-January. What will we do differently this year? What will they remember?

Adversity

I can’t remember much about my wedding, but I can remember when the horse from the horse and buggy pooped during the ceremony and everyone laughed. I can remember stumbling into a couple of guests making love in the sauna during the reception. Sometimes the best memories come from the things that go wrong … like the car breaking down or the horse pooping. 

I suspect you’ll find us all packed into our camper for a weekend trip or two, maybe a longer drive. Or maybe we’ll bake COVID cookies with little icing face masks. I’ve bought some silly turkey hats for Thanksgiving. And I plan to crank up the music for a little dance party. 

Will I be ridiculed? Absolutely. But it will be worth it.

The ultimate test … when my kids are staring at my cold dead body at my funeral, and gathering afterward for a meal, I want them to remember the turkey hats from this Thanksgiving, decorating the Christmas tree and the dance party. I don’t want them to be thinking that we never did anything or had any fun.

I have special memories of my great-grandparents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and my parents and siblings. To me the greatest loss I could experience is not just the loss of those people, it would be the loss of the memories they created, intentionally or unintentionally.

What memories will you create with your family?

Be deliberate. The best things in life often take the most effort.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Monday will be day #250 of doing a daily “broadcast” on social media. We’re getting an average of 10,600 views a day and exposing tens of thousands to art lessons live. Tomorrow I’ll give away some big prizes and we’re holding The Battle of the Mediums. Four artists painting in oil, watercolor, gouache, and pastel at once, so see who wins the prize. And we have prizes for you that we are giving away during the live 12noon broadcast. Join us here at noon. 

I’m really excited. Here I was worried about surviving and staying in business, and because we pivoted to virtual online art conferences, we’re probably going to survive. Yay! But I’ve got to keep it going to keep all these wonderful people employed so they can make memories for their families. If you think you might like to learn watercolor, even if you don’t believe you have the talent, sign up for my Watercolor Live learning event in January. Somehow we’ve managed to get the very best watercolor masters in the world to teach, and we’ve also created a Beginner’s Day. I’d be grateful if you would check it out and maybe give it to someone as a Christmas gift.