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Brilliant spring greens lightly cover the recently bare twisted oaks. Buds of fuzzy pussywillows signal spring’s arrival. Blankets of deep-blue bluebonnets and orange “Indian paintbrushes” cover miles of roadways and farms, bringing rich, vibrant hues to the otherwise dusty sage colors here. A soft warm breeze moves through the treetops like ballerinas quietly tiptoeing the moves of Swan Lake. I’m like a prisoner freed from the shackles — spring has released me from the indoors and the heated air as I return to my special place, the old long porch looking out over the vast distant hills and tall grasses.

What Is Soul Work?

Being here, keyboard at my fingertips, is my soul work. I learned the term from artist Liz Haywood-Sullivan during a recent conversation about a company that had become soulless, abandoned its roots, and is facing its demise as a result. The company had failed to understand its role in the soul work of others, and instead chased the path of money without purpose.

The term, which I’d not heard before, perfectly described my life, my path, where I had come from, and where I’ve ended up. Perhaps it explains your path as well.

Liz pointed out that soul work is the thing we eventually get to that enriches our souls. We spend our young lives chasing dreams, building lives and families, earning necessary dollars, and then we often find ourselves trapped on a treadmill that sucks the joy from the marrow of our bones. Trapped by financial obligations, debts, family responsibilities, and jobs we once loved that no longer give us fulfillment.

The Signal in Our Heads

Then, at the magical and necessary moment, a little bell goes off in our heads, signaling that “there’s more to life than this,” at which time many begin to pursue the things that enrich their souls. It may be writing, crafting, sewing, gardening, painting, woodworking, photography, or any of dozens of other things.

It’s a rare bird who chases their soul work at a young age and sticks with it in spite of the chains of obligation. We call these people “artists.” And, at whatever point we decide our souls are ready, we too can become artists. It’s a special badge few ever get to wear, but many wish they could.

What is your soul work? Have you arrived there yet?

You would think watching the demise of a competitor would bring celebration, but as I pointed out to my team, it could have been us. We are all one bad decision away from ruin. And as someone who runs a business — which is part of my soul work — I can tell you that every day brings a challenge in which greed, easy money, heartless decisions, small lies, and ethical lapses can, for a moment, be seductive. Yet once one crosses the line, the line has been crossed forever. That line will move from a mild lapse of judgment toward a series of soulless decisions, and that leads to self-destruction. Small lies become big lies, small ethical lapses become criminal offenses, and heartless decisions destroy lives.

Never Cross the Line

Knowing where to draw the line at all times, and being strong enough to resist crossing it, is the mark of someone who keeps their soul intact. Like those cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, the calls of each draw you in, and if you’re not on guard at all times, a seemingly harmless decision can be like removing a small support pillar, and can eventually bring the entire building down.

One Decision Too Many

Too often companies start out doing well-meaning things, maintaining ethics and purpose and brilliant vision, but then, because of a need for speed, or a need to get bigger, will make that one line-crossing decision that removes that first pillar. Most companies don’t intend to be evil, but some become that when they cross the line, just as humans can cross over with a small, seemingly minor decision that ultimately destroys their reputation.

It’s Only a Tool

I used to think that making money was a purpose, but I’ve since changed my mind and believe that money is merely a tool for a greater purpose. And when that greater purpose is lost, the money stockpiled is like a carpenter buying up a cache of tools and never building anything. It serves no purpose.

Disappearing Concern

When companies lack true purpose (that goes beyond the mindless “We care about you” hype they try to sell their customers), their soul disappears. Those who are truly passionate about purpose, truly being of service, and having big, meaningful goals that are world-changing or life-changing for others — those companies demonstrate their true soul.

The Artist’s Tool

In a couple of weeks I’ll be providing three mornings of art marketing training for the attendees of my plein air artists’ convention in San Francisco. I have to continually remind myself, and the attendees, that they are soul workers, and that the drive to sell artwork is about providing them the tools to live their dreams so they can continue their soul work without compromise. For some it’s just adding an extra thousand dollars a month to help with retirement or school, while others require more. It’s not about getting rich, it’s about living rich … a rich, fulfilling life, not a life of accumulation with no purpose attached. If, however, the goal is to accumulate in order to build a new major museum (one of my goals), or to underwrite homeless housing (something we do), or even to stockpile some money to send your grandbabies to college or help them get a start in life, then by all means, that accumulation serves a purpose. But by watching friends, I’ve come to realize that accumulation for its own sake often leads to more chains and more responsibilities.

Pick What You Love

Soul work does not have to wait until you’ve worked a career and are ready to move on. Doing what you love is soul work; that’s why I encourage my kids to pick careers that they love. Their dad gets to be around art and artists all day long, which is truly a blessing. I get to write, make art, and create ideas that help others. We all need to find our soul work.

What about you? Have you found your soul work?

Are you doing what you truly love, or are you shackled to something you once loved, or never loved?

If a meteor hit the earth tomorrow, would you be OK with that? Or should you start building a plan to do what you love now? It’s never too late. Escape won’t be easy, but you can make a plan. (I once made a product for seniors about how to start an art business and succeed quickly.)

Building a Blueprint

Responsibility should never be thrown to the wind for soul work, because your soul won’t feel good about your decision to stop being responsible for the needs of your family. (We call that being a deadbeat.) Yet you can build a three- or five-year plan to transition out of anything into something else. Maybe it won’t be as financially fruitful, yet if you’re driving to a job dreading even one more day, it’s time to find your soul work. You may think you have plenty of time, and maybe you do. But then again, maybe not.

What was the first thing you thought of when I talked about your soul work?

Are you doing it now? If not, make a plan, and follow it religiously until you get there.

You won’t regret it.

Eric Rhoads

PS: The first quarter of the year always passes in the blink of the eye. It’s hard to believe today is the last day of March already. It’s almost like it’s Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and boom, it’s summer. All year I look forward to my big painters’ event, which is in April this year, and we’ll all be there in just about three weeks. Hard to believe. But exciting! Soon it will really be summer, and I’ll be entertaining painters in the Adirondacks. It seems like time is speeding up. Make good use of your time. Do things to recharge, to rejuvenate, and find your soul work.

Massive flocks of black birds descend to our trees as a massive sleet storm blows through overhead. I’m guessing it must hurt if you’re a bird because they are swarming like scared rats and running into the tin roof of this farmhouse, as if they are possessed. The sound of fluttering wings and crackling squeaks is almost defining. I feel like I’m living in the movie The Birds. I’m told it’s a migration. Maybe they are coming north in anticipation of spring.

These crazy birds remind me of how we all tend to act when hit with a sudden, urgent issue. We run around in all directions, moving just to avoid pain, but accomplishing nothing.

Panic Mode

The other night at an art opening I encountered an old friend who was in panic mode over a custody issue that had cropped up earlier that week. Her panic was because she did not want to lose custody of her son to her ex. She told me she came to the opening to get away from the problem, but instead she brought the problem to everyone who would listen. People listened patiently for a minute or two, but I watched as they found excuses to slip away to enjoy their evening.

I sat with her, listened, and asked, “What good can possibly come out of all of this?” Of course, she could see no good.

When we’re in panic mode, we can’t see anything clearly. She kept asking, “Why is this happening to me?” Frankly, it was not the time to talk to her about how it was happening for her. She just needed a listener.

I’ve Lost Control

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been there. I’ve been so stressed, so consumed that I cannot think, cannot reason, and find myself useless for days. I look back on all the wasted days worrying about problems that seemed big at the time, but rarely were. I wish I had all those days back. But since that’s not possible, the only thing I can do is prevent myself from wasting time consumed in stress.

Putting It on Hold

If you allow yourself to become consumed, you actually make things worse because you can’t think clearly. You become singularly focused; you are panicked and emotional. Your brain is in fight or flight mode. So you have to prevent getting locked into panic. So the first thing I like to ask myself is, “How urgent is this, really? Is swift action required, or do I have a month or two?” Somehow, when I buy myself some time, it seems to take the urgency away from my angst. If it’s truly urgent, I move into urgent mode. Otherwise, I have time to think and tell myself I don’t need to react.

Talk Me Down

If I can’t pull myself out of panic, I ask myself, “Who can talk me down?” I have a couple of friends who are always honest with me, who have great perspective, and in times like these I need to talk to someone. And I need to do it fast, because it isn’t something I should be telling everyone at a party.

Escape

I also try to give myself distance and distraction. A therapist might call it running away from a problem, and that is exactly what it is. So I’ll cancel all my meetings and just go for a long walk, maybe take a drive, or even take a small trip. There is nothing like a hotel room with a view to give you time to think. It’s important when thinking to go through a series of thinking time questions. What am I not seeing that I should be seeing?

Next, I try to step out of the situation to see the problem from an outsider’s perspective. Usually what I realize is that it’s not nearly as big a problem as I’ve made it out to be.

What Could Possibly Be Good About This?

Most important is to see how this problem could be a good thing. Maybe it’s a lesson, maybe it’s a signal of a bigger problem. I’ve been worked up about deals being delayed or not closing, and that ended up dying, only to later find out there were massive problems we would have encountered had the deal happened. I’ve learned to pay attention both when doors open and when doors close. In the past I’d chase closed doors, sometimes to my detriment. Today when doors close, I rarely try to open them.

How Can I Benefit?

Instead of asking WHY is this happening, how about asking HOW? How can this problem or obstacle benefit me? How can it help me in ways I’m not considering? Can I write down 10 ways this is a GOOD thing? I’ve found so many times that problems happen for a reason.

Opposing Forces

If you look back on your life, there is a gift with every problem or every roadblock. It’s hard to see it at the time, but even horrific events like a death bring families together that otherwise may never have gathered. For instance, my uncle’s passing was so sad, yet spending three days with my cousins, whom I had not seen in years, was a gift. In some Eastern cultures, this would be called the yin and the yang.

Another great word is WHAT. What help is this problem providing — help I didn’t even know I needed?

As hard as it is to see things when you’re in panic mode, try to see how the problem is offering you benefits that may help you in other ways and can make you better.

Did you ever mourn a lost relationship, only to find the love of your life, whom you would never have found if you hadn’t been dumped?  How about losing the best job ever, only to find one even better that you never would have found if you had not been fired?

If you and I can learn to see problems, roadblocks, or obstacles in a more balanced way, that perspective can become a part of the way we process all problems. The answers may not be evident at the moment of panic, but just knowing something good will come of it is somehow helpful.

The Law of Nature

Our natural human tendency is to avoid pain at all costs, yet everything we do, and every relationship we have, won’t always meet our perception of perfect or ideal. Everything we do will come with or attract problems and challenges. It’s the Law of Nature.Yet somehow we’ve been sold this idea that everything can be perfect.

Without pain, without problems, we would not experience change, we would not develop to a higher level or experience personal growth. Pain and problems help us find our true selves.

In the book The Values Factor, author John DeMartini writes…

“Without voids, without difficulties, without pains and challenges, we would never go on to achieve the greatness of which we are truly capable. And yet, if we are less mature or possibly unawake, we want that ease without the hardship; we want that pleasure without the pain.”

Just Make It Easy, Please

He continues, “We like the idea of learning what comes easily and resist the idea of struggling to achieve knowledge. In our careers, we wish for achievement without setback, an unbroken story of triumph, with no bankruptcies, lost jobs, or even periods of uncertainty. Financially speaking, we want money without effort, and when we look at our social circles, we want to be surrounded by admirers only — people who think we are wonderful, not people who doubt, question, or reject us. And physically, we expect — or at least we want — what we think of as ‘perfect’ health, not to mention a flawless appearance and endless reserves of energy, without disease, blemishes, or fatigue.”

It takes a mindshift to embrace pain, to distance yourself from problems and look inside them for benefits, but doing so is one of the most freeing gifts you can give yourself.

Ultimately, our emotions control us or we control them. We get to decide.

If you’re in pain today, or if you’re experiencing a problem or a challenge, I don’t take it lightly, and I’m sorry for your pain. Is there something good within it? Can you grow from it? Can you leverage this pain to somehow make you greater? Dig deep.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I’m not suggesting that I don’t have stressful days. We all do. When I’m stressed, I’ll go out to my little art studio in the back of the property and start working on a painting. No matter how keyed up I am, the act of painting uses a different part of the brain, and within minutes I can’t think about my woes or my stress. Painting is a gift. As I’ve mentioned, I’m driven to help others find it because it offers so many positive benefits. But I can just hear some of you now… “I don’t have the talent.” “I did not get the art gene.” “I’m a klutz.” That was me. Actually, we all think that art is a natural talent, but it’s really a learned skill, and pretty much anyone can do it. It takes time and lots of practice to get really good at it, but you are having fun even when you’re learning. I’d encourage you to find an art lesson locally and stick with it past the first few frustrating weeks. You can also go to a paint party — it’s rare to find one that actually teaches quality painting, but they are out there if you look enough. Or you can go online, lots of sources there. Though there are better painters than me, I put together some free paint lessons online, which makes painting and even drawing really simple. I start by removing the color, and though color is fun, if you can learn the simple process of of the foundation, color will come much easier. It’s like the notes on the piano. If you can learn just one small scale, you can eventually play the whole piano. So I created this thing I call Paint By Note. If you’re snowed in or taking a day off tomorrow and you want to try it, check out my free lessons online at www.paintbynote.com. Thousands have taken them, and people are always sending me pictures of their progress. I love seeing it. I hope you’ll send yours.

Light shimmers on the wood plank floor of this old porch, glistening from last night’s rain. A hint of moisture in the barely cool air isn’t enough for a sweater. I’m feeling like a prisoner released after a stint behind the bars of winter. Freedom is mine; I can once again return to my porch without bundles of winter clothes and freezing fingers on my keyboard. I’ve never been a fan of winters — even mild ones.

Barriers in the Snow

Winter always meant barriers. For our friends who dared not leave home during the recent polar vortex, their barrier was cold. When I was in Sun Valley, Idaho, recently to paint on TV for an upcoming national TV show, I sucked it up, layered my limbs, and stood outside in the snow painting. My host, Lori McNee, and I drove around seeking the perfect spot for them to film us, but the barrier of unplowed roads limited our options.

Things Seem Overwhelming

Barriers are not only a problem in winter snow. They can be a challenge in life, in our careers, keeping our goals and big plans from happening. Too often when we see barriers, we allow them to slow us down or stop us. The truth is that we could have parked the car on the road and walked in with snowshoes, even though the walk to the ideal spot may have been a couple of miles. We opted not to do so out of respect for the camera crew, who would have been forced to haul equipment. Yet most barriers offer options: We could have hiked in, or we could have found someone to plow the road, taken a four-wheel drive vehicle, or patiently waited for the snow to melt.

Making Extra Effort

Barriers are often about inconvenience, about what we’re willing to go through. My old photography instructor Fred Picker told our class that the best photographs often come from the biggest barriers, because few people are willing to make the long hike, get up before the sun, bear the cold or heat, or patiently await the perfect moment. He has a famous photo of Easter Island with white horses running through the fields by the giant stone heads, dark clouds with a ray of light streaking down to light the horses. He could never have planned it, but he set up a shot and waited for hours, hoping something would happen. He got one split second to capture that image — because he had overcome the barrier of inconvenience.

Barriers are often what make us stuck. When we see them, our natural instinct is to turn away, rather than using thinking time to find alternatives. And sometimes alternatives may seem overwhelming, but they may require only a fractional effort.

Suddenly Unstuck

If your car is stuck in the snow, you can have five strong guys on the back end pushing while you try to drive, but the wheels smoke and spin and you dig deeper into the snow. Yet if you take a quarter-inch-thick piece of cardboard and wedge it under the wheels, traction is possible and their push moves the car out in just a moment.

If you’re in a boat and you’ve run aground, you’re not going anywhere. Yet if you can get the boat just a quarter-inch off the bottom, the boat is unstuck. The tide comes in just one quarter-inch, and you’re free.

No More Starving Artists

You may or may not know that I’m driven to help artists overcome this silly notion that artists just have to starve, so every morning at my Plein Air Convention I do about an hour and a half of marketing training. Frequently artists tell me, “I don’t know what to do,” because it’s all very overwhelming at first, and I tell them, “You don’t need to do it all, you just need a small step or two to get your boat a quarter-inch off the bottom. Once you’re unstuck, everything else is easier.”

Where Are You Stuck?

I spent 20 years stuck. I was busy, I was making an income, I had lots of activity, but when I looked back, I realized my wheels were spinning and I needed to do something different. A small piece of cardboard — which was my attending a Dave Ramsey event for entrepreneurs — gave me a couple of small ideas that became my quarter-inch of cardboard.

Sometimes we are so close to something, and we try so hard, we can’t see the problem. Or the problem seems so big, so overwhelming, that we’re not realizing that all we need is to pull up the anchor, or wait for the tide, or get a sheet of cardboard.

Unstuck After Two Decades

I got unstuck with a tiny sheet of cardboard, which was the act of attending something new. I fought the idea when my wife suggested it, because I was arrogant and thought I could come up with the answers on my own. People have told me hundreds of times that their life changed after attending the Plein Air Convention … sometimes for the marketing sessions, but also for the painting help. But I didn’t change their lives, I just provided the cardboard. They had just gotten to the point where they decided that maybe they don’t have all the answers.

Repeating Bad Solutions

Our biggest mistake is that we do more of the same in order to get the car unstuck from the snow. We hit the gas harder while the wheels spin faster, smoke more, and wear down the rubber and fill the air with exhaust, and we make no progress. The result is that we wear ourselves down, we get frustrated and depressed, and we feel like we’re helplessly stuck in a snowdrift in the middle of the night, fearing we will be stranded and freeze to death. We get so frightened that we finally start praying that some help will come along. Sometimes it does, sometimes not. So we start looking around for something to give us traction. We try dirt, we try sticks, we try logs, and any of them can work.

A Split-Second Difference

I discovered that all that spinning my wheels in life prepared me and made me smarter and gave me a little momentum, though I was stuck. Just like being in a car stuck in the snow, once you gun it on a piece of cardboard with some muscle pushing on the car, the car takes off, and you have to keep going full speed until you’re back to a stable place. You slide and wobble at that speed, but then you’re unstuck and free.

You’re the same. All your efforts to this point were not wasted. Once the cardboard gets you out of the rut, you’ll be driving fast, and your goals will come faster because you have readied yourself in other ways.

Acknowledge Where You Are

First, we have to acknowledge when we are stuck. When I’m stuck in a car, I don’t want to acknowledge it till I’ve spun my wheels in deeper. Once we acknowledge that, rather than being overwhelmed, we just have to find a quarter inch of something to give us traction. It requires thought, and some outside ideas are usually helpful. But seeing that we’re stuck is hard to do, and harder to admit.

A Bag of Tricks

A wise mentor once told me that when you have a problem, your tendency is to think about the problem and grab the first answer. Instead, he said, “Keep writing until you have 30, or 50, different answers. Don’t stop to judge them, just write down as many solutions as you can think of. Then before you judge, ask the question a few different ways and write down 30 more answers for each question, because the answers come from the right questions.”

Barriers can be overwhelming. Sometimes they are health barriers, people barriers, money barriers, family barriers, or things you are telling yourself are true that simply may not be.

Next Steps? Who Cares?

No matter what you’re facing, just remember you need a quarter-inch of cardboard, or to get a quarter-inch of water between the ground and the boat. Once you get free, the next steps will be easier. And you don’t even need to know what the next steps are yet. Just solve the quarter-inch problem and don’t sweat about what comes next.

I believe that you have a quarter-inch getting in the way of your big dreams. I believe you can figure it out. Rather than ruminating about a big problem, stop it. Just focus on one small problem, the one that will get you unstuck.

Let’s have a great quarter-inch day!

Eric Rhoads

PS: I’d like to give you an example of something that seemed like a big problem to me. I was hearing from a lot of people who were concerned about going to San Francisco for our Plein Air Convention because they were concerned about traffic and parking, and in some cases safety. It seemed like a big problem to overcome, but with the quarter-inch hiring of a traffic and parking consultant, we found ways to make sure our painting locations were properly selected to overcome that. A quarter-inch solution of creating an indoor painting arena where we project giant-screen video of the places we are painting gave us an optional approach for the people who want to stay put in the hotel and not drive, park, or feel unsafe. And a quarter-inch bus solution will also deal with those who want to go to the locations but not drive. By doing this, the boat was no longer stuck for those people.

Days before my 10-year wedding anniversary, I was sweating bullets about what kind of gift I could buy that would be more special than anything. I found myself flipping through catalogs, driving to the mall, and going into random stores, but nothing I found seemed special enough to celebrate a decade of marriage.

Zero Art Knowledge

At the time I was deep into my career as a radio trade magazine publisher, and I knew nothing about art. As I was walking down the street, I wandered by an art gallery. Frankly, I’m not sure I had ever been inside one, and as I glanced in the window, I saw a lot of beautiful paintings and some elegant old furniture, none of which I could relate to. But, because I was desperate to find something, I went in.

A Bit Snooty?

A well-dressed woman approached me, and looked me up and down with what I felt was a sense of disapproval. After all, I was probably wearing shorts and a T-shirt, and probably a lot younger than her typical customer.  

Without her lips even moving, she said, “May I be of service to you, sir?” Probably thinking I was there to steal something.

“Um, just looking,” which of course did not get her to walk away. It was clear I was around millions of dollars’ worth of stuff, and she was going to shadow me.

“Are you here for a specific purpose? Do you need to decorate a home, perhaps purchase a gift?”

I was totally intimidated, did not feel welcome, but said, “Well, I’m looking for a 10th-anniversary gift for my wife, but I don’t know anything about art. I was just walking down the street and decided to wander in.”

“Very good, sir, but I should probably make you aware, these are rare antique paintings and furniture, and, well, I don’t mean to be rude, but they are quite expensive. Is it possible that you might be looking in the wrong place?”

Sizing Me Up

Clearly, I did not belong, or so she thought, but little did she know I had just sold a business and could probably have afforded anything in the store. So I simply said, “I don’t think that will be an issue. Can you show me some things?”

I don’t think she believed me for a minute, but there was no one else in the store, so she played along, showed me some paintings, asked what my wife liked, and then pointed me to some really beautiful paintings that were, to my mind, very expensive.

Industry Jargon

I liked the paintings very much, but then she started spewing a bunch of gobbledygook I did not understand. She talked about the era of art the paintings were from, talked about the movement the artist had been part of, and threw out technical jargon that totally turned me off. This went on for about 10 minutes, and as my eyes glazed over, I decided I needed to get away.

Politely I told her that I did not understand a thing she had just said, and that it all seemed very important, but it did not matter to me.

Catching Me Off-Guard

Then she did something that totally caught me off-guard. She said, “The things I just told you may not matter to you now, but as you get to know more about art, they will be meaningful, because you will have paintings that are among the best of the best. You see, one of these paintings will not only be the perfect anniversary gift — it will make your wife cry when she sees it — there is a strong chance that it could put your kids through college 10 or 20 years down the road, or build quite a nice nest egg for when you decide to retire. And if you ever decide you don’t want it, bring it here, and I will always pay you what you paid me for it.”

She had me with “this will make your wife cry,” and it didn’t hurt to know that something I was buying might be worth money in the future, and that if I got into a pinch, I could get my money back. She was good.

I ended up buying one of the paintings, and it made my wife cry. And in fact, I later learned that the artist was very important, and that painting should be a nice nest egg for my ex-wife in her future.

This dealer helped me grasp the advantage.

The ability to help others grasp the advantage is one trait that all successful people possess.

All too often we speak in abstract terms that mean something to us but mean nothing to others. Yet all of us have to convince others of things in our lives from time to time.

Steve Jobs Could Sell Anything

One day Steve Jobs walked up to the top engineer at Apple and told him, “We need to make the boot-up time on the Mac 10 seconds faster.” The engineer told him it was not technically possible.

Then Jobs said, “Let me ask you this. If someone’s life depended on it, could you do it?”

The engineer said, “I guess I would have to find a way.”

Jobs then said, “10 seconds times the millions of users that use our products is equivalent to 72 years wasted. That’s someone’s life.”

The engineer not only figured out how to cut 10 seconds, he cut 20, because Steve had made him relate to the challenge in a different way to grasp the importance of that 10 seconds.

Guilty as Charged

Most trial lawyers will stand in front of a jury and say, “The plaintiff is sick. His employer is responsible, and they need to pay up.”

Trial lawyer Gerry Spence will stand in front of a jury and say, “Ol’ Bill over there got up at sunrise every day of his life for the past 40 years. He loved his job, he was devoted to his company, and he needed that job to support his six kids, who he put through college on his low salary, sacrificing what he and his wife wanted so they didn’t have to work in the coal mines. His back would hurt from shoveling coal, and he would breathe that awful black coal dust every day for 40 years. He was coughing and hacking while he worked, his skin was covered with coal dust, and the dust was always getting in his eyes. There was no fresh air to breathe, and workers were not allowed to wear masks. Now that he has cancer, his company is unwilling to pay for his care. Does that sound right to you?”

Gerry Spence helps the jury grasp the situation.

What if you and I spent more time helping people grasp the problem, the situation, the need?

We all get caught up in our own worlds. My doctor will use terms I can’t understand, and he loses me every time — until he sees my eyes glaze over and puts it into terms I can understand.

Speak in Actions, not Abstractions

Instead of industry jargon and terms others don’t understand, try to make a movie play in their heads. See your own movie, and describe what you see while weaving a story they can relate to.

Like Pac-Man

It’s also helpful to use things people already know to help them relate to what you’re trying to tell them. “There are these little creatures inside your bloodstream that are like Pac-Man, eating up everything in their path” is a lot more effective than talking about antibodies.

The Woodstock of…

It’s why I say the Plein Air Convention & Expo is like the Woodstock of plein air painting. People instantly grasp that it’s a giant, fun gathering with all the top artists, and a rare and special moment in history.

Oh, I Get It Now

Helping others grasp the right perspective is something few people do, but something that all successful people tend to do, knowingly or not. Doing so will help you in every part of your life … whether it’s convincing your kids of something, trying to sell your husband or wife on an idea, communicating with others, writing, or even selling something.

Translate everything to a story others can relate to. Find things that matter to the listener. Doing so will make a huge difference in everything you do.

Can you think of a time where you have failed to communicate with someone?

Is there something important you need to accomplish that you’ve been unable to convince others about?

Can you find an example of something else people already understand that could help others relate to it?

Help others grasp your perspective. It will do you a world of good.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Friday night late, I got back from San Francisco, where we spent some time exploring the places we’re going to paint in Wine Country and around San Francisco for the April Plein Air Convention. I’m really excited. We also decided to create a new indoor painting arena, so people who don’t want to go out of the hotel the whole week can stay inside and have a plein air-like experience with moving clouds, light, and sound, when others go out to paint. (Ironic, isn’t it? Indoor plein air painting!) It will be like looking out the window, and painting the outdoors from indoors.

I did a double take this morning as I glanced out the window. Our backyard looked like the scene of a horror movie, with twisted and gnarled oak silhouettes against the purple-white fog. This was the just the solitude I needed after returning from a holiday away to a to-do list the size of Texas.

I’m focused this morning on my year — not so much the planning, because that’s been done for a while, but my intentions, my beliefs in what I can really accomplish. I’m driven to help people find painting because I know how much it changed my heart, brought out my creative side, and made my life so rich. I want others to experience that soul-enriching feeling so they too can have the heart of an artist, even those who don’t believe they can do it.

Amplify Your Efforts

As I was thinking about how to appropriately amplify my efforts to draw others to the gift of painting, I had to admit that if it’s truly my life’s mission, I cannot allow anything to get in the way. I must drive it with smarter thinking, more time, more passion, fresh ideas, the willingness to do whatever it takes, and relentless, nonstop efforts.

This is how we all must approach our passions. When roadblocks get in the way, we have to find a way around, over, or under them. And if we’re unwilling, if we allow something to stop us, then our passion and drive aren’t strong enough.

Trading Your Life

We have to ask ourselves what we’re trading our life for. If I’m trading my life to help people discover and develop their passion for art, then life is too important to waste on petty little time-wasting things that don’t bring me closer to the goal. We each have to have a burning desire that is fueled into an all-consuming obsession.

But desire isn’t enough. If it were, we would all have endless money, perfect abs, and look like fashion models.

One of the problems with goal-setting is that we can’t just wish our way to our goals. Though mindset is crucial, mindset alone also is not enough.

A Glass Ceiling

A few years ago I realized I was not hitting my goals. It was as if I had a glass ceiling I could never get beyond, and though I had big dreams, I kept failing. Year after year, I set goals and missed them, and after two decades of doing that, I told myself I had reached my limit. I was unable to get beyond it, and I started to give up and accept my place in life.

Have you ever been there? Thinking you could accomplish something, but after getting beaten down time and again, finally accepting that it was never going to happen?

Though I thought I wanted to be successful, being successful beyond a certain limit triggered fears inside of me, and those fears held me back. And honestly, I had no idea it was happening.

If you and I were to be totally, painfully honest with ourselves, we would often discover that we’re continually missing out on our biggest dreams because we are subconsciously embracing the lies we tell ourselves and the lies others have told us.

Sometimes they are well-meaning, well-intentioned lies like …

• “People are starving in China. Make sure you clean your plate.”
• “We’re not cut out to be doctors or lawyers. We work with our hands.”
• “Rich people are nasty and mean.”
• “You’re not smart enough.”
• “You have to retire at 65.”
• “It takes talent to be a great artist.”
• “You can’t make a living as an artist — artists starve.”
• “Only losers do that.”
• “You’re not good with money.”
• “You’ll never be as good and successful as I am.”
• “God doesn’t want you to be rich.”
• “Men who drive fancy sports cars are compensating for their lack of manhood.”
• “A woman’s place is in the home.”
• “You should never be showy.”
• “You’re big-boned.”
• “You’ll never amount to anything.”
• “You’re a bad student.”
• “God’s going to strike you down for doing that.”
• “Seven out out of 10 doctors smoke Lucky Strikes.”

If You Repeat Something Enough, You’ll Eventually Believe It

Our beliefs are created by repetition, by hearing something over and over again. Repetition of messages from our parents, our family and friends, our clergy, our subconscious mind, our bosses and co-workers and the media. We repeat our fears — often fears of success.

We and others have unintentionally programmed us to believe what we can and cannot do, what’s right and wrong, what’s acceptable and unacceptable, what’s possible and not possible, and this programming tends to get in the way of our goals. Worst of all, we don’t even know we’re doing it.

Changing Your Behavior

The first step in overcoming the lies we keep telling ourselves is to find out what they are. Start by listening to your thoughts and asking yourself, “Is that really true? Or is it a lie I’ve been told and have been repeating?” You have to challenge everything you catch yourself saying.

What’s Whispering in Your Ear?

You can learn about yourself and your limitations by discovering the little voices inside that have been holding you back. Do it by reading books, by attending events like Tony Robbins talks, by taking online courses and webinars, by seeing a therapist or a hypnotist, or trying EMDR therapy or neuro-linguistic programming. You will be amazed at how many things could be keeping you from your dreams. Once you’ve discovered your limits, you can reprogram your brain to overcome these roadblocks.

What are the things you’ve believed your whole life that may be holding you back?
What thoughts are keeping you from your dreams?
What’s buried deep in your subconscious that hurts you?
What do you find painful to talk about?

If you can devote 2019 to discovering what’s inside, you’ll make your dreams a reality.

I believe in you — I know you are capable of anything you desire.

Eric Rhoads