When Money Trumps Ethics (And Why It Shouldn’t)

The steam rises from my coffee in lazy spirals this morning, dancing with the Florida sunlight streaming through my hotel window. The ceramic mug feels extra heavy today, weighted perhaps by the words that have been living rent-free in my head all weekend. The bitter aroma of my dark roast mingles with the lingering scent of a bitter feeling, and somewhere outside, a blue jay is having what sounds like an existential crisis. Welcome to the club.

The Knot in My Chest

I take a sip and let the warmth spread through my chest, hoping it might dissolve the knot that’s been sitting there since Friday. You see, I just witnessed something that would make even Machiavelli wince — a masterclass in how to turn a big gain into a much bigger loss.

The Dating Game Gone Wrong

Picture this: You’re dating someone for a year. You’ve met the parents, picked out curtains together, and are about to sign a lease. Then suddenly, they call someone else, not you, to have them tell you that they’ve found someone richer and prettier. Oh, and good luck with those curtains! That’s essentially what happened in my business world this week, and let me tell you, it’s just as classy as it sounds.

A Dance of Trust and Betrayal

Without getting into uncomfortable details or mentioning names, my team and I have been dancing with some professionals for over a year who were going to do a big project for us. Late last year they did a remarkable project for us that made a game-changing difference in our business. Unlike so many others in their field, these people were different — they were ultra-high-ethics, they played no games, they didn’t even act overly eager. They even told us no on previous projects when they felt they couldn’t deliver excellence. We appreciated that, because usually someone in their position would be telling us what we wanted to hear just to get our business. 

Finally, a Plan!

Soon after, they made a proposal and got us excited about what they could do for us, something they were sure would revolutionize part of our business. We had been working toward this goal all year, and because of that, we had not spoken with or even considered others offering similar services. I met with my executive team, we burned dozens of hours carefully considering their proposal, and, deciding to do it, we shifted budget dollars elsewhere to move forward. We only suggested a slight change that would give them more income. 

Hello, You’ve Been Dumped

Then came Thursday. The head of this company called one of my colleagues to announce they’d landed a $2 million client and decided not to go forward with the project they had bid on. Suddenly our substantial project and the year we had invested meant nothing. They didn’t even have the decency to tell me personally, though I had approached them after a friend’s recommendation. Worse, we lost a year of preparation for this moment, and another year of getting someone else hired and up to speed. 

The Sourdough Theory of Business

Here’s the thing about business relationships — they’re like sourdough starter. You can’t just whip them up overnight with some instant yeast and hope for the best. They need time, attention, and consistent feeding. When you throw away a year of careful cultivation for a quick buck, you’re not just losing one relationship — you’re sending ripples through the entire business community.

The Real Mathematics of Loss

Let’s break down the real cost of their $2 million “win”:

1. Reputational damage that will echo through professional networks faster than gossip at a small-town diner
2. A burned bridge that could’ve led to multiple future opportunities exceeding that amount
3. The complete erosion of trust that took a year to build
4. A lesson in “what not to do” that will likely be shared in countless business school case studies
5. Loss of friendships and future years doing business together
6. Having to live with themselves knowing they’ve officially crossed the line

The Million-Dollar Sandwich

The irony here is richer than my coffee with MCT oil – in chasing $2 million, they’ve potentially cost themselves multiples of that in future opportunities and reputational damage. It’s like selling your soul for a sandwich, only to realize you could’ve had a lifetime supply of gourmet meals if you’d just waited a bit longer. I had already recommended them to a CEO friend with more than $2 million to spend. I’ll be rescinding my recommendation. 

Dad’s Wisdom

My father gave me solid advice as a young man: You need to know your limitations and what lines you’re not willing to cross, way before you ever face those decisions, because when the time comes, emotion clouds your clarity. He always said integrity is all you have, and once it’s lost, you start pushing the limits a little more, and then a little more, and before long you end up in jail. It’s about setting the line and never crossing it.

The Trust Equation

And here’s the real kicker — the mathematics of trust. Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets. Each positive interaction adds a tiny drop to the reservoir of goodwill. But one significant breach? That’s a firehose of damage that can destroy years of relationship-building in minutes. If they came back today with a change of heart, I wouldn’t do business with them ever again.

Your Integrity Score

When you’re building a business — or any relationship, for that matter — remember that your reputation is like a credit score. Every action either builds it up or tears it down. And just like with credit scores, it takes years to build a good one but only one bad decision to tank it. No amount of business is worth the loss of your reputation.

The View from the Top

Next time you’re tempted by a shiny new opportunity that requires stepping on existing relationships, remember: The view from the top is spectacular, but the climb is a lot harder when you’ve cut down all your ropes. We spent a year building trust and a moment tearing it down.

Old School Thinking

Maybe I’m old school in a brave new world where integrity no longer matters. I too was once a younger, more aggressive businessperson who would have been excited about a big new customer. But even then I knew the right way to handle my commitments. Someone’s mother did not teach these kids the Golden Rule.

Ouch!

Sadly, I feel like a man kicked in the gut, with the air knocked from me. Of all the people I’ve done business with, I never would have expected it from these people. I’ll chalk this up to their inexperience, and hopefully they’ll learn from their ethical lapse and never do it again, because one day that big client will leave them. Lord knows I’ve made stupid mistakes that ended up biting me in the butt long-term. All I can do is forgive them, forget them, pick myself up, dust off, and move forward. After all, part of my job is dealing with problems. Hopefully I’m not creating them.

Stay caffeinated, my friends.

Eric Rhoads