There is magic in mornings like this. The house is still and quiet as I walk barefooted on the old wooden floors to the porch that surrounds this Texas ranch house. The sky right before sunrise is misty, and filled with pastel-colored light. Soft purples and blues can be seen in the distant hills, which have lost all detail as they stand silhouetted against the pink and yellow sky. Moments later, the top of the mountain is a glowing yellow, and gradually, the entire mountain is engulfed in light. I love the moment where the light meets the shadow and the tip of the mountain glows, creating a middle color between the bright sky and the dark shadow. To me, as a painter, it’s one of the hardest things to capture, but so pleasing when I get it right.

Dreams and Ideas

Though I cannot tell you the cause exactly, vivid dreams have been filling my head since the week of Christmas to today. Each day I awaken energized with new ideas, new concepts, and new ways to change the world … or at least my little world. I’m recalling experiences with others that never occurred, and recognizing the people in my dreams. And when I awaken, I have a sense of clarity, a new hope, so much so that I’m more enthusiastic about my days than I can remember. There is no better feeling.

Wondering Why

Nothing has changed in my diet or my regimen of vitamins and supplements, though I suspect my recent increased level of exercise has something to do with it. I had been going to the gym daily, five days a week, but that stopped with COVID quarantines. As I gained my “COVID 10,” it was clear I needed to take action, but unfortunately, a gym environment wasn’t making me feel secure. So I splurged for a machine, which so far is getting almost daily use. I’m hopeful it won’t become a coat rack like others in the past.

Letting Go

Though I believe the exercise contributes, I think it’s the peace of mind that everything is going to be OK. In spite of the turmoil, the news, the insanity of 2020 and all that has come with it — including a clear understanding that no one source can be relied upon for accurate information, and that will create confusion — it ultimately comes down to one thing. God is in control. There is that old saying, “Let go and let God.” I think I finally got there. There is something very freeing about letting go and holding perfect balance.

A Clean Slate

After a couple of days of celebration, the whiteboard of 2020 has been wiped clean. Standing before us is an empty slate, and we have the gift of a new year, knowing that we get to start over. I’m going to draw a big smiley face on the board, based on my expectations.

Hippies Everywhere

As a child of the ’60s, I can remember when the smiley face came out. It was everywhere — on stickers, on patches, on black light posters with psychedelic fluorescent colors. I wore an old army jacket with a giant smiley face patch on the back, about the size of a dinner plate. Unlike so many of my friends who were protesting everything, like the Vietnam War and other social issues (which I too felt were problems, though I think I was too young to understand just how much), I was making a statement, and it was, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

Overwhelming Moments

Like most, I’ve had moments in my life where things seemed pretty overwhelming —

moments of depression over lost loves, lost businesses, and sad situations. Yet that patch on my back has always been there, long after the old army jacket was lost. And this idea of trusting that everything is going to be OK, that there is a silver lining to all those dark clouds, and of seeking the good in the midst of all evil has worked. It’s like the line from some past presidential speech about the shining city on a hill. Darkness may be consuming, but as long as there is a light of hope, that light will always prevail.

I’ve spent a good bit of my life being criticized for that patch on my back. And it’s hard to explain why hope prevails in certain dire situations when others are hurting. But I know we all need the hope that that light, that smiley face, will return. 

Maybe I’m a little too glib for some. Frankly, it just makes some people mad. There are people who, like me, have decided to wear a patch on their back, but instead of seeking light, they are seeking darkness. I don’t think it’s intentional; it just happens to them. Or so they would say.

Rose-Colored Glasses

If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that we have a choice on the processing we use, the filter through which we look. You and I cannot control the horrific things that get laid upon our shoulders, often so heavy a burden that it feels like it’s going to crush us. I’ve had so many of those moments when I felt there was no way out, and many times it consumed me. Yet I would always somehow find that one tiny spot of light, and soon it would get bigger and bigger. I think the difference is that I’m looking for it.

A Mentor Walking with You

I read something in a book called Jesus Calling, which is a daily devotional Laurie reads out loud most mornings. It says that problems are there to teach us important lessons, like a mentor who walks side by side with us through life. And that as soon as we stop looking at problems as problems and look at them as lessons, that mentor can walk peacefully with us through our lives, and those problems won’t drag us down.  

Knowing that problems are lessons we can embrace somehow makes them easier to bear. And when I’m looking through problems, I’m seeking the light. What am I supposed to learn from this? 

This all boils down to the lens, the filter, the attitude we select. You can reach up to the shelf and grab a dark filter or a light filter. 

Which will you choose for 2021?

We are a country that has been divided. There are those who are wondering why we’re having the outcomes we’re having. Why would God let this happen? Why can’t I get my way? I wonder the same things, and often allow myself to get worked up and manipulated by the news. But once I let go, understand that there is a reason I may not understand, and seek the light, I am given peace to trust the plan.

What about you? Can you trust the plan?

What is the symbol you’ll wear on your jacket? You have a choice.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I don’t ask much, but there is someone in your life who needs to read this. Pass it on.

Briefly, I want to tell you something that made a change in my heart. A brief story. I was a pretty hard-driving business guy, pushing for meaning through my business, trying hard to make money. But, for some reason I cannot explain, it never was a suit that fully fit. Something was missing.

When I was about 39, I wandered into an art store while waiting for my wife to complete an appointment. Remembering fun at the table with my mom growing up, painting side by side, I walked out with a bag of art supplies and a little tabletop easel. 

I came home and set up a studio in a little space at the very top of the stairs, and I tried to copy photographs. But it was not going well. I could not get the globby paint to perform, and I was unable to make what was in my head show up on the canvas. I tried for weeks, but nothing was working. So I did what any self-respecting person does when they hit the wall of frustration in art.

I told myself I did not have any talent. And I gave up. I put everything in a box in the closet and resigned myself to the fact that I did not get the gene for painting.

Soon thereafter, on my 40th, Laurie bought me an art lesson at the Armory in West Palm Beach. I showed up all enthusiastic, but when I got in the class, the instructor told me to express myself and throw the paint on the canvas. My heart wasn’t in it, so I told him I wanted to learn how to paint real things, like flowers or a bottle, a face, or people (I didn’t even know the terms for still life or portrait).

He discouraged me, saying, “No one does that anymore. That’s old school.” 

Heartbroken, I tried to like what he was teaching, but after three Saturdays, I gave up again.

Soon after, I was in Miami visiting a friend. We had been to lunch in his car. He dropped me at my own car and took off. When I reached in my pocket for my keys, I realized they had fallen out in his car. I couldn’t reach him, and I didn’t think to call a locksmith, so I called a cab. This turned out to be the cab ride that changed my life forever.

With an hour and a half drive, I struck up a conversation with the driver, who turned out to be an artist supplementing his income. I told him my story, and he told me about a fellow in West Palm Beach, at the same art center, who taught classical painting. He was in the lineage of the Old Masters (he’d studied with people who studied with people, all the way back to the masters).

It took me a year to get up the courage to visit, because I had that thought rattling around in my head: that I lacked talent.

The day I arrived, I sat in the car in the parking lot for a while. I got in and out of the car. Should I go in or not? My palms were sweating. But finally, I went in.

As I entered, I could see several people painting, and their paintings, all copies of Old Masters, were way beyond anything I could see myself doing. So I did an about face and started to leave.

Thankfully this little man, Jack Jackson, called me back and asked if he could help me. Little did I know he was an angel sent from God to change my life that day.

I told him my story, and he told me I could do it, no talent required, because he taught a system. “If you can type,” he said, “you can do this.” It didn’t even require drawing skill (though it’s a good idea to learn it, he said). 

He said to give him 18 months and I could be doing work like the paintings I saw. Then he pulled me in and gave me a small project that taught me something right away. I worked on that project for a couple of hours while listening to him with the others. Then I came back again and again, and soon, I was painting at the level of the others. It did not even take 18 months.

One day, after a year or more, I was on a business trip and visited the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, a museum at the top of the hill by the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s where I saw my first Bouguereau painting. I stood in front of it and could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. It was the first time I teared up over a painting, but it was because the artist had accomplished such mastery. I teared up because I now understood what he must have gone through to reach such a high level. I can remember seeing the veins under the skin, strands of hair, and toenails that looked perfectly real.

At that moment I declared that I was going to spend the rest of my life in art. 

I did not know what I was going to do, or how, but it was because of Jack Jackson and how he opened my eyes.

That was over 20 years ago. Since then I’ve been driven to help others who, just like me, believed they could not do it because they had self-doubt and the belief that talent was required.

A couple of years ago I set a goal of teaching a million people to paint. My belief is that learning art changes your heart. I thought this would be the best way I could make an impact on the world. There are not many unhappy painters. And though there is constant frustration because we all want faster growth to the next level, we’re having fun and growing while doing it.

Since that “Bouguereau moment,” my life has been mostly devoted to art. We’ve reached a lot of people, taught tens of thousands of people to paint, and given encouragement to thousands more.

I want you to know I believe in you, and I believe you can do it, even though you don’t believe you can. I guarantee you can become an artist who is accomplished enough to be happy with your artwork. 

I know this is hard for you to believe. I was that way, the guy who could not draw a stick figure. Yet today, I’m in three galleries. Am I the best painter in the world? Far from it. But I’m living a dream, and you can too. It can be a dream of painting for pleasure, or taking it further to income. We teach it all.

Where do you start? 

I’d start at PaintByNote.com. I decided that painting is like music. If you can learn a few music notes, you can play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” or “Chopsticks.” Then, those same notes eventually lead you to Beethoven. A few simple notes, ranging from black to white, can teach you. It’s the system my mentor taught me, and it will help you learn painting foundations before you ever try color. And if you follow it, you can do it without learning to draw (which you eventually will want to do). There is a guidebook with free lessons in it, and if you want, there are some other things you could buy, but you don’t need to. 

The key to learning is just jumping in and putting your negative filters aside.

Next I want to tell you we have a watercolor event online later this month. Already over 1,300 people from around the world are coming. It’s inexpensive and has the world’s best watercolor artists teaching, and we even have a Beginner’s Day you can attend without registering for the whole thing. WatercolorLive.com

We do so much, I can’t list it all here, but it’s all available at StreamlinePublishing.com/Everything.

You can do this. You can make a resolution that you’ll give it a year. It could be the best, most satisfying thing you’ve ever done.

We are living in interesting times, and each of us has experienced something that is a part of history, a time future generations will look back to through our eyes. Though I knew most of my great-grandparents, I don’t have too many memories of their stories. But grandparents offered many a tale, family lore, tales of struggles and interesting times. 

The Great War

I can remember my Grandfather Walter telling stories about World War One. Not so much stories of war, but life in the army. I can remember sitting at the little yellow 1950s breakfast table in the kitchen of my grandparents’ Webster Street house as he told me I needed to learn to eat faster. “In the military they gave us only about five minutes to eat, and if you don’t eat fast, you won’t get enough, and you won’t know when the next meal is coming.” Yes, he converted me to a fast eater because I was too poky.

Al Capone Days

My other grandfather used to tell tales of living in a boarding house in Chicago during the Al Capone days. I seem to remember him saying that Chicago at the time was like the Wild West, with people getting gunned down by mobsters in broad daylight. I don’t know if he saw it or read about it, but it sticks with me. 

Dot Com

Today we hear stories of the “dot com era” of the Silicon Valley boom, when money was being thrown at companies and speed was needed to go public. Billions were made, and legends were created. I remember being so excited about it that I wanted to be part of it. 

A Big Win

Knowing nothing about raising money, I got on the phone with an old elementary school friend I had reconnected with as a result of a reunion. He was a venture capital guy in the middle of Silicon Valley and had been involved in some legendary companies. I told him I had an idea and had no idea how to get it funded. That call turned into a conference call, a quick flight out for an in-person meeting, and then multiple flights. The end result was that my idea was funded, we moved to San Francisco, and we were in the middle of a historic time. I met with people who became legends or funded legendary companies, including the founders of Google as it was just getting started, Napster, SalesForce.com before it was ever funded, and others. I’m sure I could bend your ear about those interesting times if you were ever to ask, and maybe one day I’ll be blessed with some curious grandchildren to listen.

Stories for the Future

Imagine being alive to tell your grandkids about a special time in America where you experienced something like the Civil War, the Revolutionary War, or more recently the Vietnam War or the Iraq War. 

Living History

We are living in one of those times now. Our lives will go down in history. We have spent most of 2020 in the midst of a worldwide pandemic. From it we’ve learned about ourselves, our families, our government, and what people are willing or unwilling to tolerate. We’ve learned about fear, about anger, and we’ve experienced a change in our culture. We’ve seen things in our streets we could never have imagined, we’ve watched our lives change, and we’ve gained or lost trust in others. As a result of 2020, we will never be the same. And, I suspect, one day some curious grandchildren will hear the stories of 2020 from us. 

I could cling to the stories of my grandparents for hours, but what was sometimes missing were the lessons they learned. Maybe they shared them and I missed it. 

Topsy Turvy

Here we are, having lived through 2020. We’ve had our world turned upside down. We’ve discovered that some we trusted cannot be trusted. We’ve learned that others we never suspected were capable of it would become patriots or heroes. We’re wondering who to believe about matters impacting our way of life. We’re hearing contradictory messages about science from equally credible people who disagree. Everything has been turned upside down.

There are millions of stories. Some will be stories of disruption and destruction, others of lost family, others of lost businesses. We’ll hear stories of wild and unexpected success along with stories of devastation. 

This week before we enter a new year, perhaps a new era, we’ll write our stories about 2020. 

If you were to write your 2020 story, what would you say? 

How will you say 2020 treated you?

What lessons have you learned that you can share with your future offspring?

I’d like to think that in 2021, we’ll get beyond 2020, see the sunshine of success again, and soon it will seem like a blur. 

Though I suspect, just like the Great Depression affected the behavior of an entire generation, we will think differently forever as a result of this year.

How will you think differently?

What will you DO differently?

I look at restaurants that have been around for decades going out of business. The great 21 Club in New York, which brought me lots of lifetime memories with friends, is going away forever. What could they have done differently? Maybe nothing, because the restaurants were forced to shut down. 

Rethinking Everything

You have to believe it will make people rethink leases on buildings, and wonder if the next business won’t require a building. It will make people rethink savings. A steady cash flow that continued week to week for decades wasn’t enough to keep some in business, because they had not saved enough to sustain them through something unexpected.

I’m wondering how many will want to work from home forever, who will no longer be out in the community. How many will never live in a city again due to the fears of experiences like civil unrest and basic supplies being unavailable?

How to Get My Attention

Though I don’t want to make light of tragedy … tragedy was the only thing that got my attention enough to fast-track things I’ve talked about for years but never done. I don’t think I realized just how vulnerable my income was, and had I not made some fast, radical decisions, I’m not sure I’d be able to write about it today.

That’s why it’s important for all of us to look at the lessons. 

Though many things were out of our control, what could we control? 

What could we do differently?

How could we have been more prepared?

This pandemic wounded many, destroyed many businesses, but at the end of the day, if we ponder the lessons, we’ll all be stronger for the unexpected next time. 

Yes, we’re living in interesting times, and there will be stories to share and lessons to learn. What will you take away from this tough year that will make you stronger and better?

Eric Rhoads

PS: I was listening to a podcast where Matthew McConaughey was interviewed about his new book, Greenlights. He talked about how most people stop at the red lights life puts in the way and how you have to learn to turn them into green lights. Pros never give up or give in; they keep at it till they find a way. If you believe in something, let no one, no discouragement, and no challenge get in your way. You can defy gravity. You have vision that no one else can understand and that others will discourage. Don’t let them talk you out of the great things you can do. There are no limits, and no age limits (too young or too old). No matter what is happening in the world, it cannot stop you. The limits exist only in your mind. Make 2021 the year you take your moon shot.

Back in April, if you’d have caught me on the right day, I was ready to give in. I was at a loss. I thought I’d be out of business. I faced laying people off, and I saw my business crash. I got pretty depressed for about 24 hours. But then I told myself, “Enough pity. It’s times like these that separate the amateurs from the pros.” Either I was going to accept things as they were, and accept failure, or I was going to find a way, no matter what. Failure was not an option. So I pulled myself together, and let fear guide me to action. I talked to all my mentors, talked to my team, and launched ideas that could have failed. In fact, I almost didn’t launch them because I was convinced they would not work. But I had nothing to lose. We survived 2020 by doing two virtual events when everything else was cancelled.

Our third virtual event, Watercolor Live, is coming up in January. It’s breaking all previous attendance records so far. It’s a gathering of the world’s best watercolor master artists, teaching watercolor. People are attending from 30 countries so far. You can become an incredible artist, and this is the open door inviting you in. Don’t let this opportunity pass. You CAN do this.

A sheen of ice covers the back deck as I let the dogs out this morning into the frigid air. The frost has coated the bushes as if they were dipped in white flour, and the dogs can’t wait to get back inside to the cozy warm fireplace. It’s the perfect morning to sit by the fire, smell the fragrant smoke, and hear the snap, crackle, and pop of the wood. Holiday music fills the air, and a big, soon-to-be-empty plate of cookies is sitting on the kitchen counter calling my name. As the song says, it’s beginning to look a lot like … well, you know.

I’m always amazed at how rapidly Christmas and then New Year’s come and go. The time between Thanksgiving and the first week of the new year is always a blur. And, once we get back in the groove, it’s February already.

Amateurs at Play

Back before I was a professional, I was an amateur goal-setter. I would wake up on January 1 after sleeping in and then, and not until then, I’d set my New Year’s resolutions. It was usually something about losing weight or getting rich. And, after thinking about it for the day, nothing ever happened until the following New Year’s Day. In fact, that’s the extent of goal-setting for most people. Gyms love it because people will sign up the first week of January, then never show up all year. But the act of paying for a gym membership makes them feel they are doing something about their health.

How the Big Boys and Girls Do Things

When I started learning about goal-setting from the pros, everything changed. I learned that in the major leagues, the people who take and achieve moon shots are the people who take this whole goal thing very seriously.

Now, what you do with your life is no business of mine. It is your choice. You may be perfectly happy as things are and you may want for nothing. If that’s you, stop reading now. If, however, you want to see how the big guns do it, stick around for a couple more minutes.

What Does Not Work

I’ve learned a lot about goals in my lifetime. And like most, I’ve read tons of books and heard lots of theories. At the end of the day, most of those books are written by people who never really accomplished anything — other than hitting financial goals by writing a book about goals. And most of their theories never worked for me. 

The phases of my life to the present time have been littered with failures, an occasional success, and a lot of accidental magic. 

Happy Accidents

Some of the best things that happened in my life were accidents, which brings me to my first of many thoughts on goals and life. Some of the best things that happen are never in your plans. Even the pros will tell you that no matter how much planning and goal-setting you do, something can come along that changes everything. The reality is that we all have opportunities fall in our laps. The difference between the amateurs and the pros is that the pros recognize opportunities when they appear, and they are ready to take action. They are willing to take a giant left turn, fast, without a lot of planning.

But here is the critical thing. 

We all get things dropped in our laps. The pros always know where they are going and why, and if something randomly drops in their laps, they can instantly determine if it’s a fit because they know if it fits into their goals or within their guardrails.

You Want Me to Do What?

Let me give you an example of something accidental that dropped in my lap. Maybe 10 or 15 years ago, I was approached by someone who suggested I become the CEO of their company. They threw out some big numbers and tried to interest me in the job. Though I was already running my own company, I usually explore everything. So I asked, “What will my life look like if I take this?” They quickly said I’d be spending a lot of time on an airplane, flying back and forth to Asia. About every two weeks, back and forth. I was quickly able to say, “I’m not your guy,” because I knew my guardrails and my goals. I politely ended the call.

Keep You From Running Off the Road

Guardrails are the things that fit within your ethics or your lifestyle. When my kids were young, one of my guardrails was that I wanted to be home as much as possible and travel as little as possible. Another was that I never wanted to work FOR anyone again. So when the call came in, I quickly found out I’d be traveling and working for someone else. Neither was a fit.

It’s Not a Fit

Goals, of course, are things that fit into where you’re going and fit with the value of your time. Let’s say you told yourself you were only going to invest time or resources in something that earned you at least $100,000 a year. If something came along where you would earn only half that, you’d know it’s not a fit — unless you are convinced you can make that $50,000 double. That’s a great way to determine if a shiny object that drops in your lap is worth pursuing. Goals and guardrails. 

In just about 10 days, you’ll be full steam into a new year. The pros already have their goals done and their guardrails determined. (I do mine in September.) But there is still time.

Menus Get More Attention

Most people spend more time deciding what to eat when they go out to dinner than they spend on their life goals. Carve out two hours a day for the next 10 days, and give it all some serious thought. Create three main goals, then sub-goals for each, and then work backward so you can break them out into monthly and weekly tasks toward your larger goals. That becomes your plan. Revisit it once a week, and strive to make that week’s goal happen. Add time to your calendar twice a week to THINK about your goals and challenges and ask yourself critical questions.This is how annual goals get reached.

Drifting at Sea

A body in motion stays in motion. A body at rest stays at rest. A boat adrift lands wherever the wind takes it. A boat with the motor running and following a map always arrives at its destination. Movement, with a map, is the key. And a great crew helps, including mentors with decades of experience. They are more valuable than gold because they have made their own maps of success and failure, and they can save you from yourself.

Determine what you want (goals) and what you don’t want (guardrails). Develop a plan, read it and act on it weekly, spend a lot of time thinking, get some great mentors, and amazing things can happen.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I was listening to a podcast where Matthew McConaughey was interviewed about his new book, Greenlights. He talked about how most people stop at the red lights life puts in the way and how you have to learn to turn them into green lights. Pros never give up or give in; they keep at it till they find a way. If you believe in something, let no one, no discouragement, and no challenge get in your way. You can defy gravity. You have vision that no one else can understand and that others will discourage. Don’t let them talk you out of the great things you can do. There are no limits, and no age limits (too young or too old). No matter what is happening in the world, it cannot stop you. The limits exist only in your mind. Make 2021 the year you take your moon shot.

Back in April, if you’d have caught me on the right day, I was ready to give in. I was at a loss. I thought I’d be out of business. I faced laying people off, and I saw my business crash. I got pretty depressed for about 24 hours. But then I told myself, “Enough pity. It’s times like these that separate the amateurs from the pros.” Either I was going to accept things as they were, and accept failure, or I was going to find a way, no matter what. Failure was not an option. So I pulled myself together, and let fear guide me to action. I talked to all my mentors, talked to my team, and launched ideas that could have failed. In fact, I almost didn’t launch them because I was convinced they would not work. But I had nothing to lose. We survived 2020 by doing two virtual events when everything else was cancelled.

Our third virtual event, Watercolor Live, is coming up in January. It’s breaking all previous attendance records so far. It’s a gathering of the world’s best watercolor master artists, teaching watercolor. People are attending from 30 countries so far. You can become an incredible artist, and this is the open door inviting you in. Don’t let this opportunity pass. You CAN do this.

The sounds of closing doors, rustling potato chip bags, steps on the back staircase, and the refrigerator door slamming at 3 a.m. have become unfamiliar these days, yet having three teens home from college has removed our silence and returned us to a house of vibrant activity, dishes left in the sink, and late-night returns home from seeing friends. 

At first it was disturbing, disrupting the silence these empty-nesters only recently discovered after 18 years of care-giving. But now they are joyous sounds, now that we’ve adapted again, this time knowing our guiding voices are needed a little less.

I used to rise early, while the house was sleeping, in order to find the sounds of silence. I’d escape to the back porch, overlooking the neighbors’ 40 acres of cattle. This morning, I sit in the living room, dogs on my lap, nudging me to pet them while my hands are juggling the keyboard. 

Seasonal Memories

Old friends greet me — the giant Christmas coffee cup and platter we have used for almost two decades to put out cookies and milk for Santa. The stockings with the names of each family member, the dogs, and dogs from our past. The tall strong nutcrackers stand guard by the fireplace, following instructions to let no one other than Mr. Claus enter. The color-filled tree, filling the air with the scent of pine, holds family heirlooms, treasures from our past. If there were to be a fire, those ornaments would be the biggest loss — ornaments with the kids’ faces on their first Christmas, reminders of vacations over the years, ornaments that were favorites from our childhoods that stimulate memories of our lifetimes.

A Solution to Hoarding

On the table in front of me is the old family Bible, used for generations and the place everyone documented family births and graduations to a better place. Beside it, a pair of preserved baby shoes that were mine, discovered with my mom’s special treasures when we had to clean out her house. Only a few items remain from the house of memories, which is now gone. Rather than take everything away with us (which would have been impossible), we each picked what we wanted and then took pictures of the things we had not seen in years so that, rather than becoming hoarders, we could get the good feeling of seeing them in our photo libraries.

Decades of Dust

When my grandparents died, the same process occurred. People took what they wanted and put those memories to use. My mom did the same, but the big stuff, like furniture, went into a storage unit she intended to use for a little while, until she could use the things in it “someday.” Laurie had the pleasure of driving to Indiana on the way home from New York, and having the storage people cut the lock off the unit and pry the door open. It had not been opened for 25 years, since the last time I visited to consolidate everything down to a smaller unit. Overall, my mom paid on that unit for 35 years, and those “someday” things never saw sunlight. This summer we’ll stop on our way back to the lake and spend a couple of days going through the dust, to fill a truck with some of those antiques to use in our antique lake cabin. The rest will be distributed to my brothers or to Goodwill.

Depression Babies

My Depression-era parents saved everything because they grew up with nothing. I was well trained in hoarding. I used to do a spring cleaning of my room and throw out toys and things I no longer needed, and when I came back from school they were all back in my closet. I eventually learned to keep everything, following in the footsteps of my past.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

For decades I begged my mom and my dad to not leave us with this mess to go through. Dad listened and has spent weeks combing through his storage unit and is no longer clinging to good things that should be put to use one day. Mom never did. The other remarkable three-year project was getting every photo and slide my dad ever made scanned to be stored digitally.

Starting Over

After a failed marriage over 30 years ago, I left with what I could fit in a couple of trips in my car, but it seems I’ve managed to keep everything since. Hundreds of paintings I’ve created, useful to no one but my memory. Oh, and piles of old business records, scrapbooks, boxes of photos, and a lot of stuff I’ll never use. Of course my fear is something good will end up at Goodwill. Thankfully, I’ve had all my paintings photographed and archived; I just need to get around to “comments” to explain the meaning of each. And of course there are about 30 portraits of me, by the greatest living masters, that will one day need a home.

When going through mom’s storage, I realized that the only things meaningful were memories we could relate to. Most everything she kept that had meaning to her was of little meaning to others.

The Giant Purge

One of the greatest gifts someone can leave their kids is a clean home with the excess distributed to heirs or removed. And, since this Christmas will be a homebound holiday for most, why not use the time for the great Christmas memory adventure? Scan the photos, photograph things you can let go of and give to charity, purge drawers filled with old gadgets that were once expensive but are no longer of any value, and comb closets to rid yourself of those favorite T-shirts you love but haven’t worn in decades. Your heirs will thank you. And, if you can, make your heirs part of the process. They may want things once they hear the stories behind them. Doing so will stimulate a Christmas of memories and an activity to create some family togetherness. 

The Cycle of Stuff

Life is funny. We start out with nothing, we want to make more money to buy more stuff and bigger houses, which we fill with even more stuff. Then, as we age, we eventually need to downsize, but instead of getting rid of things, we make storage unit owners rich. The guy who owns the storage unit I visited has one of the biggest houses in town and told me that most of his customers pay every month and have not visited in decades. His longest absentee customer hadn’t been seen in almost 40 years. My mom was his second-longest. 

Clinging to stuff is understandable, because we’re really clinging to memories. It’s hard to throw out a 30-year-old piece of furniture you paid a lot of money for. It’s hard to part with the old appliances you could barely afford. It’s practical to think you might use something or wear it again someday. 

What’s Holding You Back?

Stuff is an anchor. Friends once told me they wanted to downsize, but they had too much stuff and did not want to deal with it. So they never did … until their house burned and they were left with no stuff. Though it was a devastating moment that ruined their lives in many ways, they also told me that it may have been the only thing to get them to move on. Now they are building a modern dream house in the same spot, and it’s more of a fit with their lifestyle today.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

As I sit here writing this, I know that I’ll have to do it too. Shelves of stored paintings and books, old easels I have not used in years, gobs of paint. Yet I know someone will want it, and I can either sell it or give it away. I actually have an “eBay pile” of things I’ve intended to sell for the past decade. Never got around to it. It’s embarrassing. But it’s time for it to go, and I need to take the time to make it go.

So, Christmas vacation will be a staycation, and the virus may be doing us a favor by making us stay close to family and deal with the many needed projects that never get done. I don’t want to look back knowing I had the time and did not use it.

What about you?

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Joyous Holidays.

Eric Rhoads

PS: What’s better than accumulating stuff? Accumulating knowledge. I always want to grow, and this time is a great time to take online courses in something you want to learn. We have created thousands and thousands of hours of art training by the best in the world, which you can find here. 

We also have a rare gathering of the top watercolor artists in the world, teaching online for four days in January. It will make you a better painter, even if you’ve never painted. You can learn about Watercolor Live here.

We’re in survival mode, like most small businesses, so a subscription or a gift always helps. A gift guide is here and everything we do can be found here. Yes, it’s ironic to bring new stuff in when taking the old stuff out. But, when you give it, it’s going elsewhere too. 🙂

Glowing backlit trees twist like intermingled worms climbing toward the sky. Little white shimmers sparkle on the wet leaves. The ropes of the old tree swing are lit like neon against the dark contrast of the branches in the distance. The faded red Adirondack chairs look as though someone turned on a light switch to make them glow. The crisp cold air is still, and it’s pleasingly quiet here on the long porch of this Texas ranch house. 

I’m missing the longhorn cattle that used to stick their noses up to my fence. If only the neighbor had left them when he sold his property. Though I wouldn’t want to care for them, I enjoyed watching them graze.

Cow Cutouts

According to a buddy, his neighbor, a famous filmmaker, once phoned him after his cows had escaped to the neighbor’s vast property of rolling hills in the Bay Area, asking if he would leave them for a week so he could see how he liked looking at cows. My buddy obliged. Then, weeks later, dozens of carefully placed painted wooden cows appeared, made by a studio set department. Workers would move them daily. After a few weeks, the filmmaker determined he liked having cattle, so the fake cows disappeared and were replaced by real ones. I suppose that’s the result of a highly creative mind, combined with endless resources.

Big Rewards

In our society, we reward creative minds. Where would we be without the imaginative thinking of writers, filmmakers, musicians, songwriters, and actors? Thankfully, they look at things differently and bring us new ways of interpreting our world. My life surrounded by visual artists has been enriched by their gifts.

What are your gifts?

Where does your creative brain make a difference in the lives of others?

Mr. Dull

A dialogue with an acquaintance recently had him telling me just how uncreative he was, and just how bored his job had made him. His belief was that there was nothing inside to come out. Yet, with some digging and some prodding, I was able to help him realize there was a creative genius inside, wanting to be released. 

Hidden Gifts

Decades ago, I took a course in finding our own gifts. By taking an inventory of our past, of everything we know how to do (even the littlest things), then asking the question “Which of those things did you really, really love?” that class became a guide to remembering the things that light us up.

What lights you up?

Our body language, the sparkle that comes into our eyes, the spring in our step, the big smile on our face — these are the clues you may not see, but others do. When I conduct job interviews, a few questions rapidly lead to the moment when someone sparkles. People will tell you many things they supposedly love, but the ones that light them up reveal their truth. 

Where do you sparkle?

“I go to work in a job I’ve done for decades. It used to be fun, but it’s not fun anymore. Once I’m home, I sit and read or watch television, have a couple drinks, and then repeat that routine day after day.” So I was told by a friend when I asked what his hobbies or outside interests were. I could see the sadness in his eyes, and I could tell he craved something more in his life, yet he was simply stuck.

Where are you stuck?

Being stuck is the road to destruction and a premature ticket off the earth. Being engaged and using your creative brain is the ticket to longevity.

How do you get there?

Start with your own inventory. What have you tried in your life that you enjoyed? What lit you up? Chances are you’ll find something there, but will have pushed it aside because you’re telling yourself you can’t do it. That’s a big problem in the world of art. I encounter thousands who have tried art and convinced themselves that they had no talent or ability.

Starting with Perfection

Ask a brain surgeon. Did she or he actually believe they could pick up a scalpel within a week or two of starting medical school? Of course not. Ask a musician if they sat down and played the piano or guitar without first learning the keys and chords and doing the exercises.

The True Meaning of Talent

For some odd reason, we think certain creative endeavors are naturally part of our DNA. Perhaps if it is in your DNA, it comes out way down the road, after you’ve learned the skills so you can push them to the next level. After dealing with hundreds of artists, I’ve found most learned a system or a process, practiced like crazy, and worked really hard. That’s actually the definition of talent. People everyone thinks just had talent had, in fact, worked hard.

Overnight Success Is a Myth

Remember the story of the Hollywood director with the cows? He was an “overnight success” whose success wasn’t overnight at all. He almost dropped out of school because of his frustration. He was not a good writer. He was rejected hundreds of times. But he kept writing, kept showing up trying to get his scripts read, and then, after lots of years banging on doors, he was suddenly a creative genius. I daresay that “genius” is tenacity. Edison was a genius not because he came up with an idea and a solution on the first try, but because he never gave up after hundreds or thousands of experiments.

Genius lies inside you. It’s up to you to bring it out.

Seeing That Grin

As you and I go into the holidays, and many of us return to self-isolation, you’ll have the time to think, to experiment, to play, to try new things. Try dozens of things. Take a course or five, and try to do something your judgmental self is telling you isn’t possible. And keep trying. Pay attention to how things make you feel. If it brings a smile to your face or a sparkle to your eyes — even though it may be hard or frustrating — you will have found what is trapped inside, waiting to be released for the world to see.

Your creativity may change the world, whether you’re 100 or you’re 10. There are no rules, no restrictions. It’s never too late or too early.

The World’s Richest Man Told Me…

My friend John Kluge was once the richest man in the world. Over lunch I asked him how he became a billionaire. He said he had always tried to succeed, had done lots of things, but was just an average success like many others. He said when he turned 65, all his friends were giving up and retiring, but he didn’t want to stop because he had learned so much, and he had a feeling that if he kept working, he might have more success, or at least keep having fun. “My friends retired, got bored, and died,” he said. “I just kept pitching.” 

Incredible Advice

John became a billionaire and changed the world at about age 75, and he lived the rewards of his persistence for the last two decades of his life. He endowed colleges, museums, and charities with billions. He built several world-class art collections, and he was having more fun than he’d ever had in his life. His advice to me was, “Eric, keep pitching. Never stop. One idea, one pitch, might be the one that makes you a billionaire.”

Pitching does not have to be about becoming a billionaire. It’s about having a ball, living an enriched life, living fully. It’s about trying new things, giving your brain the challenges it needs to keep you mentally elastic. And it’s about overcoming boredom.

There Is No Excuse

There is a world of joy to be found by trying things. Don’t tell yourself you might not like it. Try a variety of things — I have taken courses on Masterclass in things like cooking, fashion design, making music, acting. It’s fun to learn about things I’d never have explored. There are hundreds of online platforms offering things you’ve never considered. Try something.

Finding the Energy

You may tell yourself “I don’t have the energy” after a long day, but as my artist-cardiologist friend told me the other day, “I’ll come home exhausted from a long day, and I’ll not want to go into my studio because I’m exhausted. But I’ll go in, pick up the brush just to maybe fix one little thing, and next thing you know I’ve painted till midnight, lost my stress, and I’m in my happy place.” Energy is found in enthusiasm. 

I plan to try new things when I have some extra time. I love learning, reading, and now, watching courses. I intentionally pick things I don’t think I’ll like, and find some of them to be fascinating. 

Remember, there is a creative genius inside beating on the door of your heart to be released. Only you can release that genius.

Eric Rhoads

PS: An accidental left turn because of a cab ride led me to the world I’m in today. I never in a thousand years would have imagined myself leading an art community, producing art magazines, developing hundreds of online art courses. I did not know what was dormant inside, waiting to be released. Yet because I was curious, I found a new life, a life of fulfillment I never could have imagined. I’m happier than I ever imagined I could be. You can learn about everything we do in the art world at StreamlinePublishing.com/Everything. Maybe you’ll find a course or a video or a newsletter to try something new.

If you’re telling yourself you can’t learn art, that you lack talent and skill, start with watercolor. I’ve rounded up the best watercolor artists in the world to teach for three days, plus a fourth day for beginners. Start there. It’s in late January and would be a good Christmas gift to yourself. If you can’t make the dates, there are replays, though watching live and being part of the community and making new friends is a lot of fun. No one is too inexperienced to attend. WatercolorLive.com

I wanted to come up with something to make learning art easy. People often stop because it’s too overwhelming and complicated. I realized that if you learn a few notes on a keyboard, you can learn piano. It’s the same with art: If you learn a few notes, you can paint anything. I call my system Paint by Note, and I have free lessons online. Hundreds have taken the course, and I hear from people frequently who show me their progress, which continues to amaze me. The thing I hear most often: “I did not think I could do this, but I’m doing it.” PaintByNote.com

Christmas and holiday gifts? We have a ton of things available. Things you won’t find anywhere else. Take a peek by clicking here.

Today I’m excited. We’ve celebrated Thanksgiving and our triplets are home. College this year has no spring break, so they will all be home through January. 

Though I could get used to this empty-nester life, there is no joy quite like the joy of having my family together as one. But things will be different. Their taste of independence isn’t blending well with our need for some household rules — simple things like showing up for an occasional meal, or not coming in at five in the morning. We’ll have to make some adjustments on our end and try not to revert to high school rules now that they are spreading their little college freedom wings.

COVID Blessings

Before COVID, the kids were working, hanging with friends, and had mostly disappeared from the house. Then  COVID brought a few months at home as a family, a chance to be together and reconnect. And now, though we’re not in lockdown here (but being careful), we’ll have a couple more months to be together as a family.

Perhaps the same thing is happening to you.

Big Effort

I once learned something from my dad, something I never really knew was happening while we were growing up. I learned that he was deliberate in his effort to make memories.

As the beneficiary of that with my brothers, I assumed those memories just happened. But in fact, many of them were planned, and many of them took a great deal of effort.

Mega Memories

I can remember family vacations, with five of us packed into our old Oldsmobile. I can remember being in our T-bird convertible, breaking down on a one-lane road at a pass in Colorado and having to hitchhike into town. I can remember being terrified as we pulled our Airstream trailer up a steep incline, wondering if the car could make it. I remember visiting the White House, the Smithsonian, Mount Vernon, and having flashbacks as if I had been there before. I can remember camping on Lake Erie. I recall getting my grandma to ride on the back of a mini bike (I thought she was really old at the time, but she was younger than I am now). I remember the first time I heard my dad swear, when he hurt his finger while working on the boat engine (I was mortified). I can remember my mom bringing home a six-pack of beer, something we never had in our household, so she could wash her hair in it (or so we were told), and hiding it from my grandparents. 

I could go on.

If this were a competition between my parents and us as parents, I’m afraid my parents have done a better job of creating memories than we have, though we’ve created a bunch.

A New Chance

Now, I’m blessed with two months to make memories. And though I’ll be fighting whining kids who want to hang with friends, I’m sure my parents had to battle the same things. The only difference is that they did not have to battle cell phones and video games — though they did have to battle our addiction to black-and-white, then color TV, and shows like Dark Shadows, The Monkees, and Bonanza.

I’m not sure what memories I’m going to create, but I’ve decided I’m willing to endure the unpopularity of pushing through to get them to do something. 

What about you? 

We have the month before, Christmas, and possibly more time in quarantine together, and they will be home till mid-January. What will we do differently this year? What will they remember?

Adversity

I can’t remember much about my wedding, but I can remember when the horse from the horse and buggy pooped during the ceremony and everyone laughed. I can remember stumbling into a couple of guests making love in the sauna during the reception. Sometimes the best memories come from the things that go wrong … like the car breaking down or the horse pooping. 

I suspect you’ll find us all packed into our camper for a weekend trip or two, maybe a longer drive. Or maybe we’ll bake COVID cookies with little icing face masks. I’ve bought some silly turkey hats for Thanksgiving. And I plan to crank up the music for a little dance party. 

Will I be ridiculed? Absolutely. But it will be worth it.

The ultimate test … when my kids are staring at my cold dead body at my funeral, and gathering afterward for a meal, I want them to remember the turkey hats from this Thanksgiving, decorating the Christmas tree and the dance party. I don’t want them to be thinking that we never did anything or had any fun.

I have special memories of my great-grandparents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and my parents and siblings. To me the greatest loss I could experience is not just the loss of those people, it would be the loss of the memories they created, intentionally or unintentionally.

What memories will you create with your family?

Be deliberate. The best things in life often take the most effort.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Monday will be day #250 of doing a daily “broadcast” on social media. We’re getting an average of 10,600 views a day and exposing tens of thousands to art lessons live. Tomorrow I’ll give away some big prizes and we’re holding The Battle of the Mediums. Four artists painting in oil, watercolor, gouache, and pastel at once, so see who wins the prize. And we have prizes for you that we are giving away during the live 12noon broadcast. Join us here at noon. 

I’m really excited. Here I was worried about surviving and staying in business, and because we pivoted to virtual online art conferences, we’re probably going to survive. Yay! But I’ve got to keep it going to keep all these wonderful people employed so they can make memories for their families. If you think you might like to learn watercolor, even if you don’t believe you have the talent, sign up for my Watercolor Live learning event in January. Somehow we’ve managed to get the very best watercolor masters in the world to teach, and we’ve also created a Beginner’s Day. I’d be grateful if you would check it out and maybe give it to someone as a Christmas gift.

No matter how much we romanticize the first Thanksgiving, those families had been through incredible hardships, spending months at sea. They endured endless storms and giant swells, where they lay on the floorboards of the creaking ship, so sick, perhaps wishing they would die, but praying the ship would not break apart like others had and leave them to drown. Men, women, children, babies, crammed aboard crowded, stuffy, damp, cold ships, without the comforts of the homes they had left in England and Holland. Only half of those who set off on the voyage survived.

Disagreement

Yet life in England had become unbearable for some, and they wanted a better life. Since King Henry VIII’s separation from the Catholic Church back in 1534 and the founding of the Church of England, there had been vast disagreement about religion among the citizens. The Puritans — the people who became the pilgrims — were neither Roman Catholic nor Church of England, and they did not embrace the government’s rules for how to worship.

Wanting to Be Free

Though not in chains, the Puritans, and most English citizens, were not truly free. If they said the wrong thing, discussed something unpopular, were critical of the king, or even complained about their lack of food, they could be beaten, or locked in the stocks for public ridicule. Some were imprisoned or even executed. All because they wanted a better life. And they wanted to be able to worship freely, and not be forced to attend the king’s church. They were not free to pray to their own God in their own way. 

To escape England, many of the Puritans moved to Holland, where they became peasants, living an even harder life. After 10 years there, often having nothing, some scraped and saved to pay for a voyage to a new land, where they could be landowners and hope to be free.

Being Giving

It’s no wonder they had such a vast appreciation for what little they had when they arrived. It’s no wonder they developed a spirit of sharing, and were willing to give others. In the first years, they shared their first harvest with one another and with the Native Americans.

The Prevailing Spirit

Whether or not the tales of that first Thanksgiving, in 1621, are true, and though there is said to be a dark side, it’s the spirit of Thanksgiving — the feeling of being free, and the desire to help others less fortunate — that makes Thanksgiving what it is today. 

It was Abraham Lincoln who made Thanksgiving an official holiday, in 1863. Thanksgiving is about a giving spirit, wanting to be together, and the ability to speak freely without the fear of repercussions.

Perfection Isn’t Possible

The world the pilgrims left us isn’t perfect. Some are critical of their ways, and there are ugly stories that surround them and their treatment of Native Americans. Like all who have become Americans, they, and we, are imperfect. But true perfection cannot be accomplished, because each of has a different definition of what that would be.

Look around the table today. 

Look at the family members around you. Or think of those friends and family who normally would be gathered but who cannot be here with you today because of COVID-19. And think for a moment of those we have lost, and whose seat at the table is empty. 

Look at the imperfections in the people around you. 

Each of us carries with us the imprint of our DNA, the impact of our upbringing and surroundings, and the experiences of our lives. Each of us has imperfections. 

As you gaze at those around you, try to embrace their imperfections, and ask yourself, “Are they truly imperfections, or is it simply me being overly judgmental? Am I being harsh?”

Then think about yourself and the imperfect moments in your own life, when your expectations for yourself were not met, where others may have judged you. Think about how you felt being judged or criticized.

Embrace Where We Are

Today, embrace one another. Embrace your imperfections and be thankful we’re all alive. Perhaps this year, we have more of an appreciation of our ability to gather, and the ability to be with those we love. Or perhaps you’re unable to gather, you’re alone, and others are missing you because we’ve been told that gathering together is unhealthy. 

Be thankful for the imperfections of the world, and the imperfections of others who do not believe as you believe. 

Embrace others who believe differently than you … a different higher power, a different lifestyle, a different political leaning. 

Most important, embrace our freedom. 

Though freedom is fragile, be thankful we’re not being told what we can and cannot do. Be thankful more and more is not being taken from us, making it difficult to survive. Be thankful we can worship freely. 

Casting blame is easy — being critical of others, being critical of our differences. But this melting pot of America, and this melting pot of personalities in our families, is, in fact, perfection in God’s eyes. We’ve been asked not to judge, but to leave that to Him.

On this day, embrace who we are, and soak in the joy when we can be together, even though we may argue about football teams, politics, or religion. 

Be thankful you can gather, and that you can argue. 

Small Screens Down

Seek common ground. Talk about the good times, the memories, the loved ones who have passed. Talk about ideas, look for what lights up the eyes of those around the table, and patiently listen and be less eager to jump down their throats in disagreement. And throw all the phones in a basket so no one is looking at a screen on this special day.

Someone at the table may not be with us next year. We cannot predict who, but we do know, in spite of all our disagreements, we will wish we had known them better, listened to them more, and spent more time with them once they are gone. 

Our Sad Day

Earlier this year my 18-year-old son had a heart attack, died, and barely was able to be revived. His mother and I laid on a cold vinyl couch at his side for 10 days in a hospital, praying the doctors and nurses could save him, which thankfully they did. I’m grateful his chair is not empty this year, and, because he will have a lifelong health issue, I’ll know each additional Thanksgiving is a blessing. He needs me to listen, to embrace who he is, and not to judge him.

Though sadness could spoil my day because I’m missing loved ones in isolation, I’m grateful we can still talk to catch up. We deeply miss those who have ventured beyond life before us, so let’s embrace those who share our lives today. 

Inventing Memories

Make this day, this moment at the table, the most memorable Thanksgiving ever. Seek out laughter, fun, and making memories that will be imprinted for the rest of our lives. Create joy, play games, tell jokes, make some COVID Christmas ornaments out of face masks, or do a craft together. And most of all, put the imperfections aside and embrace each person for who they are, whether or not they are who you want them to be.

Remember, someone along the way embraced you, encouraged you, and gave you joy and hope. Chances are, you love being around that person. Today, be that person for others. 

Embrace the imperfections and celebrate our ability to be free to gather.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I’m deeply grateful for you today. This little letter, which I normally write from the rickety old porch of my little Texas homestead on Sunday mornings, seems to have been given wings to spread across the world. Each time you’ve shared it with someone else, you’ve given me a chance to ring a bell, create an “aha” moment, or stimulate a thought that might somehow be helpful. I’m told we have a quarter million subscribers, and that the average passalong by each reader is about three times. Chances are I don’t know you, but know that I care about you, I want to listen to you, and I embrace you for who you are. 

This weekly missive isn’t created by some PR firm, and I’m not a celebrity. I’m just a guy who started writing a weekly letter to my kids (triplets) in hopes they would someday pick them up and read them as adults, and know what their dad was thinking, and maybe, I could help them capture some of what I’ve learned in life to help them get through their own lives. I once mentioned it to a friend, who asked for a copy, and that seed has resulted in the spread.

Though I don’t make my living as an artist, I do paint. I’m the guy who never believed in himself. I could not draw a stick figure, and I had no talent. But the lift I received from my mom, and then later from my wife, resulted in my finding my way and discovering that I could learn the painting process, even without talent. This grew out of a small seed planted at a young age, and the encouragement to believe I could do it, when I could not believe in myself. 

Little seeds can result in a spread that can create mighty forests. We can spread the seeds of weeds that choke the growth of trees, or we can spread the seeds that grow into the great redwoods. We can choose to spread negatives and criticism, or we can spread encouragement that will give the lift others need to thrive. 

By the way … if you think you have no talent and don’t believe in yourself, but you’ve always wanted to paint, there are some free lessons I think will make it easy. I’ve taught thousands. It’s called Paint By Note. 

Also, we’re celebrating watercolor with a giant learning event, including a Beginner’s Day, with the top watercolor artists in the world (no exaggeration). It’s coming up in January. It’s called Watercolor Live.

As I opened my eyes, the trickle of water startled me fully awake. Then, once I stopped panicking, thinking the pipes had burst, I realized Laurie and I were camping along the Frio River in our little camper. This was the maiden voyage, and we’re hoping to get to know each other all over again, remembering the best vacation we ever took before kids, which was a couple of weeks in a camper. 

As we speak I’m in a folding chair outside so I don’t wake Laurie, and the sun is streaming in my eyes as the grackles squawk loudly. The reflections on the water are like a color wheel, and later today it will be warm enough to take a dip and kayak down the river a piece. It’s a joy to have a weekend off and to start our empty-nesting life together. 

I’d be lying if I said I was totally disconnected. After all, I still have a cell signal, and hopefully this is still showing up in your inbox. 

Internet Legend

There is a story floating around the Internet about a young boy who tells his pastor father that he would like to go out and pass out flyers to tell people about how God loves them. It was cold and rainy and his dad didn’t want to go, but since they were in a small town, he allowed his son to go out alone. 

Knocking Loudly

The son passed out all but one flyer and was about ready to go home, but he stopped at one more house and knocked, and there was no answer. He knocked again — still no answer. So he walked away. But something made him turn around and knock longer and louder. Soon a frail old woman answered, and the child said he was sorry to interrupt her, but he just wanted to tell her that God loves her and he thought she might like the flyer. She was kind to him, and thanked him.

Interrupting

The following Sunday in church, the pastor asked if anyone wanted to share anything before closing the service, and that old woman said, “Yes, I’d like to.” She had lost her husband, it had been a couple of years, and she was lonely, worn, and tired. She had decided to kill herself, and was ready to go ahead with it when she heard the knock. But the knock went away. So just as she was about to do something that couldn’t be undone, she heard the knock again. She decided it must be important, so she went down to answer the door. 

The story goes on to say that from this little angel of a boy, the hope she received gave her a renewed spirit to live. She had appeared in the church for the first time in her life.

When this story arrived in my in-box, I enjoyed it, passed it to some friends, and then started thinking about my own life and the moments where perfect timing occurred. In some cases it was timing to help me, and other times it was the right timing to help others.

A Frightening Day in Business

One day, about 20 years ago, my bookkeeper told me we could not make our payroll that week. We were $18,726.56 short. I asked if anyone owed money we could collect. There was no one. I just knew I was out of business and had to lay people off. Clearly, at that stage of my life I was not very good at planning or managing. 

Being Exact

Earlier that week a man named Mike had come to work for us. He had just returned from a church retreat and explained that he learned it was important to pray for specifics. So, I went into my office, worried and tearful, and I asked for help. Exactly $18,726.56. And though I asked, I did not really believe I’d get that help, so I was trying hard to sell what I could and try to collect something in advance. 

Two Angels

With only two days to go till payroll, I had no solution and was ready to inform my team that I could not pay them. My receptionist buzzed me that I had a call, and it was a client, Marty, from one of the radio networks. I can remember his words clearly. “Eric, because it’s the end of the year, we have some leftover budget. Can we prepay some ads for next year?” Of course, I said yes, but he did not indicate how much or when it would come. Yet the next day a FedEx arrived with exactly $18,726.56 on the check. The exact amount needed to save our business.

Two people had stepped in on my behalf. Mike, who told me about specifics, and Marty, who called to prepay. That moment strengthened my faith. 

Perfect Timing

When I heard the story about the little boy, my mind flashed to that moment. But it also flashed to several moments when people had said things like, “I can’t believe you called and said that, it was exactly what I needed at this moment.” Or, “You brought me an answer I’ve been struggling with.”

Can You Hear Me Now?

There are some who believe we are all interconnected on almost a cellular level, and that we’re on certain “frequencies” with others. That’s beyond my level of understanding, and I don’t really know what to believe, but I can say that something or someone is connecting many of us.

Needing Someone

Probably dozens, maybe hundreds, have connected with me at the perfect time. They have helped me or I have helped them. There were times when I was lonely, sad, depressed, and feeling blue and someone suddenly showed up for no reason at all, pulling me out of it. 

You Talkin’ to Me?

When we started the daily broadcasts on Facebook and YouTube, I started hearing from hundreds of people who would say things like, “How did you know I needed to hear that today? You were speaking directly to me.”  It happens to Laurie and me all the time. We’ll go to church and think the pastor is targeting us with a tailored message. “How did he know?” we’ll wonder.

I can even say it happens more than ever, which I think is because I’m learning to pay attention to the little tugs, the little tinge of feeling that I need to call someone or visit them. 

Sweet Inconvenience

And like the little boy in the rain, it seems that every time I don’t want to do something and I do it anyway, I never regret it because it turns out to my benefit or that of someone else. Before our recent Fall Color Week, I was so used to being home that it was a struggle to get up at four in the morning to catch an airplane. The night before, I was whining about it because I was experiencing back pain, and I strongly considered asking someone to step in for me. But I sucked it up and went, and the result was that I had several good things happen to me, including invitations into two good galleries and a possible donor for my TV show. But also, in several instances, I was able to help people who had nowhere to turn because of personal tragedy. In each case, I heard something like, “I don’t know what I’d have done if you had not been here for me.”

Though I’ve trained myself to be a planner, I’m very much a pinball, bouncing from one paddle to the next, in response to the callings in my head. 

Has this happened to you?

Have you had moments where you were connected at the perfect time with the perfect person with the perfect message? 

One of the reasons I encourage silence and thinking time, and not spending your life on small and big screens, is that the quiet helps us tune in. Someone needs you for some reason, and when you get that quiet whisper in your ear or that tinge to call someone, do it.

And if you can’t be troubled because it seems like too much work or inconvenience, do it anyway. It will be a sweeter result because of the sacrifice.

Someone once told me that every adult is a hurting little child inside, and that they may be too tough or macho to speak up. But if you can open up a crack, be there for them, and listen, you might change their life.

How Could This Even Be?

I’ve told the story many times of being stuck in a cab for an hour — and it changed the entire direction of my life forever. Why, on that day, did I lock my keys in the car? Why did I decide to take a two-hour cab ride instead of calling a local locksmith? How was it that the cab driver was in Miami but happened to be from West Palm Beach and able to introduce me to the art instructor who introduced my heart to art? 

You may say it was serendipity or coincidence. Maybe. I like to think there was a plan that put me in a vulnerable position, stilled my heart, made me talk to someone I otherwise wouldn’t talk to, and got my attention. 

Special Delivery 

I continually encounter people who it feels were sent to me, as if they were angels on earth. And I’m continually surprised that a random feeling I should call someone results in my being that angel for them. I’m guessing it happens to us all, which I suppose means we are interconnected somehow.

At this time when half the population is frustrated or hurting, and a time when people are worried about COVID and other crazy things in the world, listen for the tinge.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Just for grins, pick up the phone today and call three people you have not talked to for weeks or months or years. Just tell them you were thinking about them and wanted to say hello. Engage. And look for an opportunity to say something nice about them or bring up a fond memory to lift their spirit. Don’t ask for anything, and don’t tell them you’re calling because I suggested it. Don’t e-mail. Call. That call might lift a spirit, change a mood, offer an idea, or provide something you need. Don’t think about it, don’t over-examine it. Just do it.

Speaking of “just do it” and life-changing events… when we did our two other virtual art conferences, I heard lots of “This was life-changing.” I’d like that for you. Even if your brain is saying, “I can’t paint, I don’t have talent,” go visit WatercolorLive.com and just do it. You’ll find something new inside you, and you might love it. 

Quiet and stillness fill the cool Texas air. Not a single leaf is fluttering, and the deep orange morning light entertains my eyes with streaks of color as it blasts the front porch of my art studio. Morning or afternoon light glow is something I never noticed before picking up a paintbrush. 

Silence is a good thing on any morning. I love awakening early, before anyone else is awake, and sitting quietly with my thoughts. There is a special place, right between getting up and waking up. It’s as if it’s a time when my thoughts are more abstract, more free.

Hello Silence, My Old Friend

Today silence is especially welcome. We are all numb from a year or more of election drivel, of intense dialogue coming at our brains from every direction. I’m wishing all the political signs would come down, and I’m thankful the advertisements have stopped. I’m ready for silence, for quiet, for peace. Though I’m not sure that wish will come true anytime soon, which is why each of us must look for the means to find solace in our own way.

Trophies for Every Child

Sadly, there are sore losers, and frighteningly, I’m seeing more name-calling and anger than any time in the last year. In a world where every child receives a trophy, where we must not hurt any feelings, it’s a time when we all have to swallow a dose of reality.

How We Deal with Losses

No one cherishes the idea of losing, but in any contest we enter, we understand that not everyone will be a winner. We are each dealt our cards, and we have to handle the outcome. It seems to me that how we deal with our losses is what defines who we really are. Are we dignified and high-road? Or are we low-road and sore losers? 

Each time any of us is challenged by a loss or by adversity, we’re made stronger. Pain always equals gain. And though we don’t want to face our pain, we always grow from it.

Why? Why?

Though it may seem odd, my prayers are not a wish to Santa Claus in hopes of gifts for Christmas. Though I’m tempted to ask for more, or for perfect outcomes, or for winning, I try to ask for what I need, but in all cases, I simply ask for God’s will. I figure He knows a lot better than me. And, as I browse my life, I’m thankful that my prayers of the past were not all answered. Though our losses may be painful and seem unreasonable, there is always a plan, and trusting in that plan and learning lessons is helpful. Learning to trust may be the hardest lesson of all when things in our lives don’t seem to make sense. Why would this happen to me? Why not? Maybe pain is forging a lesson we all need.

When Pain Is OK

The absolute best things that have happened in my life have always emerged from the most difficult and painful moments. It’s when maturity sets in. Those moments make you raw, which makes you sit up and take notice of things you were not seeing. That’s why I want my kids to lose from time to time. Though I pray for their safety, I also pray that they face adversity and difficult challenges, because I know that will serve them better than perfect lives. I want them to experience pain, I want them to be frustrated and challenged, I don’t want them to win every contest or do everything they are trying to accomplish in their lives. Their lives will be better, more appreciated, if things are not always as they wish.

A Tough Moment

Flashing back to fourth grade, my life was crushed. My Ds and Fs resulted in my being held back because I’d come in before I was ready to go to school. I was suddenly an outcast. My friends from kindergarten moved on while I stayed back. I was a marked man. And it was no secret from the third-graders, who were now my equals. All of this resulted in a very difficult time making friends. It was a painful time, and I was very angry at my parents. I did not understand it, and I was not mature enough to realize that it was no one’s fault but my own. I blamed my parents, teachers, principal, and others, but I never accepted the blame for my own actions. In hindsight, it made me stronger, made me work harder, made me come out of my shell, and helped me develop skills and coping mechanisms that helped form who I am today. It was not fun at the time, and I’m sure my parents had a tough discussion about whether it was the right thing, but it was.

Pushing a Little Harder

Now that my kids are in college, I look back and realize they needed more pain growing up. They needed to work harder, they needed to be challenged more. We kind of let them decide what they wanted to be involved with, and we felt sorry for the kids whose parents forced them to play sports or take piano lessons. But we may have been wrong, because pushing kids beyond their own wishes develops important skills, and the pain of all those kids pushed to do things resulted in their developing talents and self-esteem, and perhaps a work ethic that gives them an advantage. Though I have few regrets, I can see some lacking life skills because we protected them from pain. 

Tough Love

We have a small monthly cash budget we give our kids in college. They don’t really need much money because meals are covered, but a little for gas or extras is helpful. But we’ve made it clear: They get it on the first of each month, not a day sooner, just like a paycheck, and they have to make their money last. This week one of our kids is already asking for his December money in early November. Though it’s tempting to help, we said no. He needs some pain, he needs to learn to manage his money, he needs the reality of life, and if he needs extra, he needs motivation to go make it. The pain won’t be fun, but it will be better than not having learned how to manage his money once he has a family.

None of us wants to face the hard decisions in life or the tough love moments with our families, yet it’s losses, failures, and pain that make us stronger. We can’t all get our way all the time. Therefore hold your head high, be a high-road person, and move on. And ask, what am I supposed to be learning from this moment in time?

What about you? What lessons should you be seeking?

Eric Rhoads

PS: There has to be more to life than working all the time. Due to quarantines, people are discovering they need something more. As a result of the forwarding of this blog to others, and tens of thousands subscribing, and my “pitch” that art is good for each of us and enriches our souls, I’m hearing of people all over the world who are trying art for the first time. Many are signing up for lessons locally, others are using our videos online, others are watching me at noon ET daily on YouTube and Facebook, where I have artists teaching, and still others are watching the free 3 p.m. ET video of the over 600 art instruction videos we’ve produced. I find this very encouraging, and I want to help you grow and discover yourself through your art.

A foundation in art is critical, and it starts with learning what we call values (lights and darks). I have a few free lessons to get you started. Hope you’ll check them out. 

Our online virtual conferences are really bringing the world together and teaching thousands of artists worldwide. Our next is in January; it’s called Watercolor Live. Watercolor is a terrific place to start, and we’ve got the world’s finest artists on this 4-day event (Beginner’s Day is one of the days). It’s a great way to dip your toe in the water without the expense or commitment of an in-person event.