Green Scottish pines sway outside the window of my hotel room in Jupiter, Florida. The needles are almost a foot long, rich in brilliant green and dull brown colors, with little cones sticking out at the ends of the fuzzy branches. A dark, gloomy sky looms overhead.

I left here last Sunday morning after a successful four-day online art event (PleinAir Live) with word that I needed to get to Florida because my father was entering the next and last phase of his life. I dreaded the trip and what I would face.

An RV Trip

Just two weeks ago, Laurie and I were here for a two-week stay that ended up being close to a month. I extended it because I had a feeling that it might be the last time I get with my dad. It was worth taking two more weeks away from work. 

The Best Month Ever

When we were here my dad was still himself, just a little slower than normal. Talking up a storm, giving me advice, getting us ready for his next chapter, and communicating clearly. Though his treatments dragged him down, he was strong and vital, just a little less so than normal. And we were encouraged that the treatments would work, his strength would return, and at 94, he could see a couple more years or more. He always saw himself living to be the oldest person alive.

Rapid Change

But things change fast. We found him in hospice care, confined to a bed, able to hear and respond, but with a weak and hard-to-understand voice. Such a change from this larger-than-force of nature with the big, booming voice. 

A Tough Week

We spent the week, in small moments between rest, talking to him, bringing in family members, and watching smiles come to his face with the joy family brought him. Each day is the same, though a little worse. Yet each day is a blessing. My goal is to be at his side when he graduates his time on earth and moves to his time in Heaven. Having been with my mom, I found it a beautiful experience, and I want him to know we are there. My eyes well up as I write about the inevitable.

Fearing No More

As a kid, as long ago as I can remember, I always feared that my dad would die. Probably because I had seen other kids’ dads die, and though I knew of our family longevity, I always feared it. I feared it the same at 12 as I did at 50. I loved my dad so much, I just could not imagine life without him, and how difficult it would be. Yet here I sit, at his bedside, and I’ve come to terms, knowing his peace and that he is merely changing his address. I cannot imagine believing there is nothing more, nothing better. And I always knew this because my parents and grandparents always talked about the ticket to Heaven — that it was simple, required no works, was not about being good or bad, it was simply about accepting the word of John:3:16.

Some of my readers will be offended. That’s not my intent. Some will consider me a simple-minded person who believes in fairy tales. I’m OK with that.

So what’s this got to do with you?

Life is short, then you die. If you’re lucky, you’ll die instantly. If you’re unlucky, you may die a long and painful death. In either case, the end result is the same.

Quick Deterioration

This reminds me that in an instant, you can go from a vibrant, viable, strong human to one facing the final moments, weak, frail and unable to fend for yourself, unable to control anything.

If you operate as if there is no tomorrow, and make today a day you can be proud of, that’s the best we can be. 

Act Fast

Do not delay that thing you’ve always dreamed of doing. Three weeks ago my dad, who expected to recover, was talking about places he wanted to travel. He wanted to take an RV trip with us; he loved being in an RV. Today, that’s no longer possible. 

Someday is like smoke. It can drift away as a vapor, very quickly. Don’t live on somedays. Live on todays. 

Those dreams you have need to happen. If they are important to you, don’t wait. You’ll find a way. 

If you’re telling yourself you don’t have the time … you do have it, you just have to choose to take it. Do it before you truly don’t have any time left.

Take the trip. Build the dream business. Take up something you’ve told yourself you want to do. One day, it will be you, or me, lying on a bed waiting to catch the train out of life.

Not So Bad Anymore

I have my aches, my moments of aging, but suddenly I feel they are nothing. I have things to do, places to visit, and have to assume I have very little time to get them all done. Though we hope for the best, doing things now is important. And doing them with the people you love is critical. 

On the final breath, it’s not going to be about how many hours you worked. The money you made won’t matter. All that matters is who is there with you, who loves you so much they are willing to be at your side, for as long as it takes. 

Spend your time on love, developing friendships, helping others, and living your impossible dreams, or at least knowing you truly tried. And invest deeply in the gold that will be with you to the end, those you love.

Eric Rhoads

The rustic boards under my feet squeak as I make my way across the porch to the little wicker couch with bright red cushions. The wicker also squeaks as I sit down and place my coffee on the table in front of me, which has a little glass arboretum with small cactuses growing inside. It’s a warm spring morning, and the birds entertain me while distant neighborhood chickens make sure we know they can sing too.

A big yawn fills my face as my arms stretch out. I stayed up till about 1 a.m. working in my man-cave studio. Sometimes I go there just for silence, other times to read. I read a great book the other night called Beyond Genius: The 12 Essential Traits of Today’s Renaissance Men by artist friend Scott Griffiths and his friend Eric Elfman.

The Renaissance

I was fascinated by the book because it profiled great Renaissance men in history like Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Isaac Newton (yes, all men; they are coming out with another book on women), and great living Renaissance men like Elon Musk, Richard Branson, John Paul DeJoria (who lives about a mile from me), and others. For the first time, someone had tried to categorize the traits that make these people special. Though it would not be fair to outline all the things they discovered, I thought a couple of the traits might be worthy of some discussion.

Impossible Dreams

Why is it that some people move mountains and do amazing things? How is it that some people can create great inventions, and make multiple inventions happen in their lifetimes? How is it a man like Elon Musk (who also is here in Austin now) can, at his still young age, reinvent online payments (Paypal), create one of the biggest and most disruptive electric car companies in the world (Tesla), put people in space privately (SpaceX), put a new internet up with hundreds of satellites across the world (Starlink), and plan to colonize Mars?

I’d love to be considered a Renaissance man, and maybe in some small way I am, but not in comparison to these greats. So what traits do they have that you and I can adopt?

No Silver Spoon

It’s not unusual for us to think people like this had something special … like rich parents and endless money … but that is not the case. In fact, most grew up poor, some grew up with awful parents, and John Paul lived in his car for six months when starting his business. And why is it that many people who grow up in wealthy families end up doing little or nothing with their lives? 

The Same Tools We Have at Our Fingertips

In these cases, each one of them was self-taught. Though some went to college, most did not, but each had an insatiable curiosity to learn, and they spent most of their time filling their brains with new ideas. A billionaire acquaintance of mine reads a minimum of two hours a day and two or three books a week while running multiple companies. It turns out that curiosity is a massive trait they all have in common. They spend their lives looking at possibilities. What is possible? How can I conquer the impossible? What does the world need to make it better? What is the status quo, and how can I challenge it?

Passion and Courage

Courage is another trait these men have in common. They did not let anyone tell them what is and is not possible. What if Elon Musk listened to the naysayers who told him that electric cars were not practical and had never been a big success? What if Steve Jobs had listened to the people who said, “MP3 players already exist — why would anyone buy one from you at twice the price?” These people had a vision and the courage to pursue it. And, unlike others, they never gave up. When you read their stories, you realize that in some cases, they persisted with an idea for 40 or more years, when most of us would have given up at year one.

The thing I’ve discovered about these people is that they have such clear vision that they know the world won’t change unless they do it. They know that the world will not be as good a place without their idea. Thus they are driven. 

What about you?

I know that every person reading this had an idea, sometime in their life, that they did not pursue, and they may regret that. Maybe it’s because it was too expensive, or too hard, or not even possible. I’ve given up on far too many ideas I had because of the roadblocks, yet someone else ended up doing them, proving what could not be done was possible. My list is fairly long. But I did not believe strongly enough, I gave up too early, or I simply saw my ideas would be coming, but I lacked the passion. It’s passion for a project that drives it home.

If You Are Breathing, There Is Still Time

I believe you and I still have time to see our ideas happen. Even if you’re on the downward slope of life. If you believe it, think clearly about it, you can find a way to do it, or get someone to do it, so you, too, can change the world in your own way.

Telling yourself you’re too young, too old, too fat, too thin, not well enough educated, don’t have enough money … these are mental roadblocks. Do the Renaissance people mentioned have these roadblocks in their heads? Absolutely. They just keep plowing through anyway.

Not convinced? I dare you.

Will it be easy? No.

Will you fail? You might. So what?

Will you succeed? You will if you never give up.

Let’s not live our lives talking about the one that got away, the dream that never happened. Let’s not live in regret that we did not try at all, or gave up too soon.

Get Uncomfortable 

You have it in you. Yes, you may have to overcome a lot of things others have told you that pollute your brain and limit your thinking. Yes, you will be uncomfortable. You may have to get up earlier and stay up later. You may have to give up mind-numbing game shows or video games. But you can do this. I have complete confidence in you.

Reach in … pull those dreams back out, and make it happen. I’m looking forward to seeing how you change the world.

Eric Rhoads

Colorful fields of flowers filled the roadside between Florida and Texas on the long drive home in our motorhome. We saw massive brilliant pink azalea bushes, fields of bright, glowing red flowers, roadsides filled with white flowering bushes, and, once we were in Texas, fields of iridescent indigo bluebonnets. The scents were heavenly. 

In Texas, families dress their kids in their Easter outfits and pose them among the bluebonnets. This week we’ve seen dozens of families along the road. It’s a lovely tradition. I fully expected to see some little bunnies hopping out of the bluebonnets.

In any case, happy Easter. He is risen. Today’s story is about a personal resurrection.

Hit a Wall

We returned home a week ago tomorrow. Our intended two-week vacation turned into a full month. It was the longest vacation I’ve taken in my career, and probably the most important one yet, providing me with some great lessons and perspective. After almost a year of continuous broadcasts twice a day, seven days a week, I had hit a wall. It was time. Severe burnout had occurred, but I was too driven and focused to see it. But thankfully, Tom in my office pointed out that I had become unusually grumpy and suggested a vacation. So we took our motorhome to Florida and stayed in a camping resort.

I discovered a few things about myself that I would never have known had Tom not suggested I take time off. Chances are you may see some things I discovered in yourself.

I discovered that I have X-ray vision. As silly as it sounds, after my vacation I can see through walls and around corners. 

As humans we have been given a great ability to see things others cannot see, and this x-ray vision comes from true peace and quiet time.

Why I Don’t Take Vacations

You see, I normally don’t take vacations. I’ve built my vacation time into my work … for instance, if I take a group of artists to Russia, it’s like a vacation even though I’m working. And because I do two artist retreats a year, and an international behind-the-scenes art trip for art lovers, it’s like vacation because I’m with friends, seeing beauty and art, and often painting. But I’ve just realized that being always “on” may not be as relaxing as I thought. Making sure everyone is happy and having a good time is something I love doing, but it’s not a true vacation, it’s just work in a different setting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not whining. I love it, of course. 

I discovered it took me a full two weeks to unwind fully, which involved staying off e-mail 100 percent and not watching the news or social media. One day, about a week into it, I made the mistake of checking a couple of e-mails, and one e-mail brought back enough stress that it took me three more days to lose it. Two weeks was not enough, and because I have a great team, I decided to stay two more … not to relax, but to take advantage of my new, relaxed state of mind. 

Round and Round

Sometimes you’re so busy that you’re on a merry-go round, making decisions on the fly, without much thought. And once your mind is filled with so much intensity, just trying to keep from falling off, you can’t think clearly. You lose creativity, and you operate on a to-do list instead of a dream plan. That’s where I found myself. People often comment, “I don’t know how you get so much done.” That’s how. Head down, focused, and spinning like a madman.

Out of Control

But if you keep the spinning up, as the speed increases, you eventually spin out of control. That’s where I was, but I was holding on so tight, continuing to show up on thousands of projects and decisions, and pretending to be Superman, I was about to spin off. I just did not know it … until my colleague pointed it out.

There is wisdom in multiple counselors — Proverbs 24:6

Reinvention

After two weeks of recuperation, I was rested enough to send the next two weeks in a relaxed state of mind, working on plans for my next few years. This was two weeks of reinvention, rejuvenation, and a form of resurrection. I read four books, trying to learn some things I needed to know for my new plan. I also took an online course. And I made about 60 pages of notes and plans. And though I needed another two weeks, it was not reasonable to stay away longer. Plus, after snownado in Texas, we have broken pipes, damaged floors, and removed drywall to tend with. 

The quieter you become, the more you can hear. — Baba Ram Dass

So what’s this got to do with X-ray vision? 

When you eliminate the noise, your brain perks up into a new state of awareness and allows you to perceive things you can’t see when you’re in a hyped-up, overstimulated state. When you’re calm and completely relaxed, avoiding stimuli, you start to see what others cannot see. 

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. — Napoleon Bonaparte

It’s like X-ray vision. I can now see things I could not see a month ago. Things in myself, in my family, in my business, in my friendships, and in the world around me. I can see with such clarity that the future is more clear, intentions are more noticeable, and decisions are not routine, but thoughtful.

This is a result of eliminating all outside noise and input. Once it’s gone for enough time, your mind moves to a new level of awareness, almost as though you’re moving to a new dimension. I suspect it’s this kind of thing that allows one to get closer to God. Now I know why He says, “Be still.”

Be quiet, so that life may speak.— Leo Babouta

What amazes me is how much clarity and patience I have, and how I am seeing things in my work I was not seeing before. Now the trick is to keep some quiet, make the merry-go-round go slower, and find ways not to fall back into the traps that put me there in the first place.

I’ve never been one who imagined myself with a yogi, meditating on the top of a mountain in the wilderness, but for the first time I can understand, in my own small way. The power of silence, quiet, and resisting the addiction to stimulation can be life-changing.

Are you stressed or playing super mom or dad or grandparents, not realizing how much you need a break? 

Are you feeling like decisions are on autopilot?

Are things irritating? Are you feeling the stress?

Though I can’t guarantee x-ray vision, I can guarantee a fresh perspective. I did not think I could be away for a month. I was too self-important. In reality, everything went along fine without me.

What About You?

Can you find a way to get some quiet and some distance? If nothing else, can you escape your addiction to social media and the news? Now that I’ve returned, I can see just how controlling and manipulative these things can be. Surely that’s not what they’re meant for.

I encourage you to seek silence, seek space, seek time away. I was lucky to get a month off after 40-plus years, and a real vacation. (Note: Working in the garage during a week off and doing chores may be a change of scenery, but it’s unlikely to help you see through walls.)

I’ll admit it: I was addicted to the stimuli of the news and social media. I was addicted to being needed at work. I was addicted to the energy of work and family. And I found that slowing down was difficult. I found myself wanting to reach out for my phone to get a fix. But resisting was deeply healing.

Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. — Khaled Hosseini

Today, on this Easter, after a year of COVID, I wish you an escape, and a chance to take a mental break. You deserve it. Quiet can lead to your own personal resurrection and reinvention.

THANK YOU for giving me a break and a month off!

Eric Rhoads

Birds are tweeting after a week of agony from coming this far north a little too early. Piles of melting snow and ice remain after our rare arctic blast this past week, which has been one for the record books here in Austin. We were fortunate and never lost power, and even then, with the furnace trying to keep up, it was cold in the house and we had frozen and burst pipes. But hope is showing its face with some warming sun this morning. 

It’s been a difficult week, where 4 million were without power for three or more days, freezing in their own homes, and it will be a big loss for insurance companies and a gain for plumbers who will come in from every state. We’ve put in our request because of those burst pipes. 

This week is a reminder of the old Scout motto … be prepared. A last-minute trip to the grocery found the shelves bare, and the city issued a boil-water order to those of us who still had water after those burst pipes. Thankfully, we had what we needed.

Be Prepared

Some of us will forget it all three days into the sunshine, but others, like me, will take some actions now to be ready for the next time. Freezing inside a home for a week can be avoided, and maybe some pipes can be insulated and a backup generator installed. It seems frivolous, but it won’t feel that way when it’s needed. 

I regret not anticipating this storm and being more prepared, but I was also thinking about regrets in life and work.

If I look back on my life to date, I don’t have a lot of regrets. But I’ve thought of a few. And most of them have to do with poor communication. 

Fights, Arguments, and Stubbornness

Looking back, I see that if I had taken the time to listen, and been less anxious to react, I could have saved a lot of wasted energy in arguments, fights, or just being stubborn. Almost all of the things that occurred were prompted because I was quick to judge.

Count to 10

As a child I was coached, “Count to 10 before you react.” It was great advice. As an adult, a counselor once said, “Just say, ‘This isn’t a good time. I need a little time to process this and I’ll get back to you in an hour,’ or ‘tomorrow.’” What great advice … but you do have to come back and deal with it. 

Kids are a great test of our patience, and our instant reactions are often hasty and overblown. “Let’s talk about this tonight” is a great way to let the anger subside, the emotions reduce, and the steam bleed out of the old pressure cooker.

Think about your own life and the ugly “That’s not like me” reactions.

And think about intent … and how much you care for the person. Is the reaction worth the pain it will cause? Do we really need to teach a lesson or make a point?

Exploding Pressure

Pipes freeze and the water expands, exerting pressure on the pipes. If you can’t relieve the pressure, you have broken pipes and you’re without water for days. Just like relationships. You get angry, you freeze up or overreact, and the relationship is damaged. Sometimes it’s a small, easily repairable crack, other times the pipes are broken in multiple places and healing is difficult. And sometimes we get stubborn, and we distance ourselves.

We’re Not Talking

I remember a sad moment when an acquaintance told me he had been estranged from his father and had not spoken to him for 18 years. I asked what his father had done that had been so horrible, and as he started to tell me, he realized that, whatever it was, it wasn’t so bad after all. The emotion had gone away, but the stubbornness had not. I suggested maybe he should reconnect with his dad. But he said, “I’m not over it yet.” I think he was in love with the idea of being right. Three weeks later his dad had passed, and he seriously regretted his decision. The moment someone dies, much of the baggage goes away, but then we can’t go back to resolve things.

Self-Inflicted Wounds

I think people like that think they are punishing a parent or a friend by not seeing them, but the punishment is a self-inflicted wound too. When we have unresolved anger, it comes out in other ways, impacting our kids, our families, our work, and our health. It’s not good for anyone and accomplishes nothing.

I am always curious when I hear of people estranged over anger, and rarely does the crime equal the punishment. Yes, there are crimes that do require distance to avoid pain or abuse, but disagreements or hurt feelings do not seem to me to be reasons for not speaking. 

I had a distant family member who was not speaking to her dad and mom because she was convinced by her husband that she had been wronged by being expected to help raise her younger siblings. Once the husband was gone, the healing began, and she reconnected and had a few good years with her parents. 

I have a buddy whose daughter isn’t speaking to him, does not show up for family events, and only calls when she needs money, which of course he gives her in hopes it will heal things. She is angry over the way she was raised. He and his wife are not sure what that means. It breaks his heart. What she may not realize is that the estrangement is probably disrupting her life and relationships more than she knows.

Overreacting

Sadly, I have dissolved business relationships in anger over an e-mail when I should have picked up the phone. And sometimes I’ve picked up the phone too soon and said something I regretted. Just this week I almost destroyed a relationship by overreacting to an e-mail from someone, but once we talked, I realized I had misread intent. 

So my best advice…

1. Don’t hit send in anger. Count to 10 … or 1,000 if necessary.
2. Don’t pick up the phone in anger.
3. Find out the INTENT before reacting.
4. Wait till all the emotion has dissipated, and then do your best to address it head on, with a listening ear.
5. Check your mood. Are you reacting badly to something because something else has irritated you?
6. Give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt. Don’t assume they have bad intentions. 
7. Take a breath and ask yourself, “Will my reaction make things better or worse?”
8. Listen before reacting.
9. Apologize as soon as you realize you acted badly.
10. There is rarely a good reason to disconnect from someone in anger. Almost all things can be healed. Estrangements are bad for everyone, but worst for you.
11. There is no shame in seeking professional help, especially if you keep getting stuck.

I was not raised in a perfect household. I never heard my parents argue. Ever. I’m not sure that was a good thing, but I’m guessing it was a rule my parents implemented. What might have been better is to hear that arguing is part of life, and finding a resolution to arguments is a lesson we all need. I did not get that, therefore I overreacted unfairly to criticism until I learned. 

Solid Advice

But I was also raised to put myself in someone else’s shoes before I judge them, and to turn the other cheek and not seek revenge when someone wrongs me. Both have served me well.

There would be no disagreements, no wars, no major issues, if we would just talk without reacting. We would not puff up and allow our egos to become offended and need to prove our dominance.

What can you do to improve your communication?

What can you do to heal wounds?

Where do you need to listen without reacting or responding?

Who do you need to call today?

Don’t be like the frozen and cracked pipes. Relieve the pressure before it builds. Never go to bed angry. Face it, no matter how hard it is. And if something bothers you, get it off your chest in a loving way. If not, it will always come out, but only after building up to the point of explosion.

If we all worked on these issues, we would all be happier. It starts with me.

Eric Rhoads

A steady drizzle of frigid droplets falls upon the old porch. My normal view of blue or purple hills in the distance is grayed down to barely visible, and the air is so cold, it feels as if I could throw water into the air and watch it turn to ice crystals. 

I arose early with my head spinning with ideas, putting my toes into the warm blue corduroy slippers with the wool lining. I’ve pulled an old sweatshirt over my head, and a blanket is wrapped around all of me other than my arms and fingers, which kiss the cold keyboard.

Solid Advice

Last week artist Stewart White was visiting and imparted some advice to my kids. Simple, yet meaningful. He told my son, “If you just finish what you start, you’ll be ahead of most people.” And he suggested to my daughter, who stared down at her phone the whole time, that it’s good to engage with people, look them in the eye, and don’t stare down at your phone the whole time. I thought Stewart’s advice was spot on. 

Three Important Lessons

It made me think … if I could choose only three things to tell my kids, what would those three things be? I’d love to know what your three things would be too.

Number one for me would be to trust God. I’ve seen the anxiety this pandemic has caused in our family – the fear, the concern, the boredom, the feeling of being locked down, and there is simply no answer other than trusting that God has a plan. And though I get criticized for sharing my feelings about this topic, it’s who I am. My intent is not to push it to you. 

Too Much Stress

I can say that in my lifetime, I’ve stressed about things I never should have stressed about. I’ve worried, I’ve made myself sick, and when all was said and done, most of what I worried about never occurred. As I’ve matured, I’ve realized when I stop stressing and start assuming there is a plan, things work out better.

Choose Carefully

Since I’m limiting myself to three things, the next two are pretty hard to pick out of all the wisdom life has to offer. Therefore my number two is to pick a good mate, a life partner, and to learn to listen to and trust their instincts. In theory, they have your back more than any person on earth, and they can see things you cannot see. And they are usually willing to tell you things no one else will tell you. That’s why I tell my kids to be careful in your process, take your time, get to know someone deeply, and try to get beyond the infatuation. Some put more time into buying a car than picking a life mate. And though you need common interests and things to do together, the worst thing you can do is find a replica of yourself. Life is about balance, and this is one of the best things you can do to find balance and perspective. Of course, it’s not for everyone. No pressure.

What’s in Your Mind?

Now the pressure is on. What is number three?

It seems to me that most problems people have, most problems I have, boil down to self-esteem and self-talk. I’ve written about past experiences where I declined invites from world-famous people because I did not feel worthy. How sick is that? Yet, as I think about my friends, my relationships, and all the people in my life, the ones living the best lives tend to be the ones who have figured out how to have self-esteem. Therefore my best advice is to work on your self-esteem and conquer those issues with the tenacity of your entire being. Doing so impacts how you filter every word, every decision, and whether or not you enjoy your life.

I read the book Think and Grow Rich for the first time at 15 and the book Cyber Cybernetics at age 17. Both were life-changers. But I’ve battled these issues much of my life. We have little voices in the back of our brains that bring up insecurities rooted in something from our past, and that don’t even make logical sense. I resisted Tony Robbins because of his style and my perception that he was all motivation (I attended one of his very first seminars before he had developed the depth he has today), and I’ve since found he has a lot to offer. I’ve been to his events and will go to more.

Investing in your self-esteem is the best investment you can make. It’s better than Bitcoin because it influences every decision and direction in your life. And current literature on the topic has shown theories from the 1930s have turned out to be true: Your physiology is impacted by your thoughts. 

Stay Guarded

Today I guard my thoughts like I would guard Fort Knox, because when they seep in as seeds they can grow into watermelons that disrupt your life. It’s a constant battle, one that never stops. The only difference between those who have self-esteem issues and those who don’t is that those who don’t have learned to recognize that our brains naturally default to negatives in order to protect us, and that we can overcome those thoughts. 

Focus on these three, and life will be pretty amazing. Then there is much advice that will serve you well in other areas. 

What about you?

Eric Rhoads

Tiny little bright green buds are peeking their heads out on the bare branches of the giant trees around me, trying to find out if it’s safe to come out for an early spring — mild temperatures are signaling the beginning of spring here in Texas. The old screen door makes a creaky sound amplified by rusty springs, the door slams behind me, and I’m finally back on the long porch that goes the distance of this old Texas farmhouse. Sadly, my neighbor moved and took his cattle, but the view is pretty terrific just the same. 

Spring in the Air

Growing up in the Midwest with cold, snowy winters, spring was always a welcome sight. Spring fever would have us out without coats on a sunny day, even though it was still 30 degrees. We simply could not wait for the arrival of spring. And, like the feeling of a first love, spring is about seeing things through fresh eyes and having something new to look forward to. And about the time we get used to it, we’re looking forward to summer, then fall, and even winter. We’re a fickle bunch, we humans.

When we lived in Florida, we could still get a sense of the seasons because some months were hotter or cooler or rainier, but for the most part we missed the seasons, and would often try to visit other places where we could experience them more deeply.

Seasons of Life

I’m amazed at the perfection of life as it compares to seasons, though we really never know if we’re going to be one of the trees that turns red early or one that stays more colorful while the other trees are bare. Each season is a blessing, and, like the seasons of nature, we need to look forward to and embrace each season of our lives, because each brings new experiences worth embracing. And just like the mud in spring thaw or early swarms of summer mosquitoes, there are parts of a season that may not be to our liking, but challenges always come with the good.

I once met a doctor at a cocktail party who specializes in severe, life-altering diseases. I’ve never forgotten what he told me. “The minute I tell a patient of their cancer, I can pretty much tell if they have a chance of survival by how they react. Though no one ever welcomes the news, if they are challenged and tell themselves they intend to beat it, they have a chance. But the ones who absorb it and look at it as if life is over — they rarely survive.” He told me people who changed their attitude after a few days of processing the bad news usually made it through.

How Do YOU See You?

From time to time someone will ask me for advice about life or business or success, and I always start the discussion with the critical importance of what we place in our minds. Science even supports it. How we see ourselves impacts how our life turns out. If we blame others, if things are always someone else’s fault, things never seem to go as well. If, however, we accept responsibility for how things go, and we align our attitude to our desires, they’ll go much better.

How you see yourself matters most. Experts tell me you need to actually see yourself in the exact role you want to be in. Instead of “I’m gonna” it should be “I am.” After a lifetime of daydreaming, the things I dreamed came true. The things I was a little unsure about did not.

Labels and Boxes

Our society hands us labels and boxes. Earlier today I read a story where the headline said “Elderly Woman” …  and when I read the story, the woman was 50. Clearly the story was written by someone very young. I for one look back on 50 and remember how young I was. And I don’t look at myself as old. In fact, I scold friends who use those terms because I believe they trigger something in your head to make your life start to wind down.

My dad, who turned 94 on Inauguration Day, sometimes scolds me for mentioning his age because to him, age is not relevant. I can remember that when he turned 70, I thought he was old, and silly for starting a new business when everyone else was retired. But alas, when I called him for his birthday, he was talking about yet another business he was going to work on for the next 20-plus years. And, mark my words, he will do it. By the way, he started something new about 10 years ago, works 15-hour days, and it’s thriving. 

Good Genes?

You may say he is lucky to have good genes, but I guess that doesn’t explain other family members with the same or similar genes who checked out early. Maybe luck plays a role, but I suspect it’s the brain that makes that luck happen. A friend told us at 55 that he was preparing for death and winding down because he was getting old. My prediction that he would be dead in five years came true. 

I’ve mentioned this before, but my acquaintance John Kluge, who was at one time the richest man in the world, told me he did not really start making his success till he was over 70. “My friends all gave up and retired. I kept pitching and became a billionaire.”

A Year to Live

Clearly there are circumstances beyond our control. There can be bad luck, but how you play the cards you are dealt matters. My friend Glen tells me his wife was given a year to live and he was determined to help her beat that, so he quit his job, became a student of healing, and she is alive and healthy 16 years later. He refused to accept the status quo. He refused to accept what they were told. He sought and found alternatives.

You can be young and in spring and tell yourself you’re too old to do something, or you can be in winter and tell yourself you’ve got decades left. And, if you manage your thinking, accentuate the positives and eliminate the negatives, you can make it happen.

Remember, whatever you think … you’re right.

Where is your head?

What lies are you buying that don’t have to be true?

What are you telling yourself is about to happen?

What are you telling yourself that will happen?

If we were taught how to push out the negatives, focus on the positives, and see ourselves in the places we want to be, our world would be a different place.

You and I can’t change the minds of others, we can only change our own minds. And perhaps, when others see what’s possible, they too will change. 

It starts with you.

Eric Rhoads

A blanket of quiet has covered the sky, which is dropping flakes of white powder softly on the ground. The branches are sagging with the extra weight, and the creaking tree limbs are decorated in white lace. Our yard has become a magical winter wonderland.

Last Sunday was such a day, when this normally temperate part of Texas was coated in snow. Soon after I wrote to you, we started out with rain, which was quickly transformed to little balls of sleet, and then the sky opened up with sheets of snow. Three inches rapidly accumulated, and I did what any self-respecting child would do. I started a snowball fight with the kids upon arrival at the church parking lot, and when I got home, I went painting in the snow. How fun!!

When it snows here, once every two or three years, it takes us by surprise. It’s simply something we don’t expect. Writers often talk about “suspending disbelief” when watching or reading a work of fiction. But sometimes we have to suspend what we’ve believed and accept what is. 

Life can be filled with moments of suspended belief.

Words I Did Not Expect

As a child, I never heard my parents swear. And if someone would have told me they sometimes did, I would never have believed them. It was something we did not do. Yet one day, when I was about 13, we were on our little boat docked at Lake Erie. My dad was on the floor with the engine all torn apart, trying to get it to work again. Suddenly, I see him struggling with getting a nut off, trying to turn the wrench with all his weight behind it. Crack! The wrench slipped, pinched his fingers, and he shouted “Dammit!”

I was mortified. 

I had heard other kids say their parents swore, but mine never did, and I had just witnessed it. I did not know how to handle it. I can remember being very uncomfortable. I never said a word to anyone about it, as if I was holding a big dirty secret. And for the record, I don’t think I ever heard him swear again. Ever. All I could do was accept what I did not want to believe. 

There’s a Name for It

The term is “cognitive dissonance” — when we hold one belief and suddenly have evidence that our belief was wrong. It’s a conflict between what we hold on to and what we now know. And people often try to minimize those feelings of conflict, refusing to recognize them and even avoiding new information. In my case, I was embarrassed, ashamed, and feeling a little guilty.

Have you ever experienced it?

Jolted in Disbelief

One time I was sitting in my office when my trusted colleague, who ran accounting, came in and sat down. “I need to talk to you,” he said. He went on to tell me that in his former job, he did something he thought was legal that turned out not to be. He told me he was giving his two-week notice because he was heading to prison for a year. 

At that moment, my beliefs were suspended. I had known this guy for a couple of years. He was straight as an arrow, a nice man, and totally trustworthy. He was an integral part of my team. Suddenly, I had to deal with what he told me, and I could not believe it. Of all things, the man running my accounting was going to jail for something he did at another company. How could it be? Did he steal from me? How could I be so blind? At first I thought it was a prank. I really struggled with it and felt betrayed and confused.

Have you ever thought one thing about a person, only to find out something unbelievable?

Beyond Belief

When living in Salt Lake, our offices shared the floor with two other businesses and we got very acquainted with our neighbors. One day the police came in and dragged one of our neighbors out. This nice, quiet, friendly guy, it turns out, had been kidnapping and killing children and burying them in his yard. We were all horrified because our own kids had been around from time to time. He was one of the people we said hello to every day. He came to our parties. Again, I had to suspend my own beliefs. I was sure the police had to be wrong, and the court would find out it was someone else. But the evidence was strong, and he was convicted.

Letting Go

One of the most difficult things any of us can face is needing to let go of our beliefs when they are no longer right. Human nature is to hold on to and defend them, and when someone brings us absolute proof that we were wrong, we often continue to fight for what we believe, or, at least, we struggle with accepting the change. We want proof. And when we see proof we were wrong, we are often skeptical (which is generally a good thing). Maybe we think someone made it up, edited it, Photoshopped it, etc.

Suspending belief is like a roller coaster ride. It can be difficult, or it can be a fun show to watch and experience and one of the best parts about our personal growth. 

Life has been filled with surprises where I’ve had to adjust my belief systems. People were often not what or who they said they were. Technology that wasn’t possible became possible. People I believed to be solid turned out to be disturbing. 

Getting Uncomfortable

If you ever want to have an uncomfortable day, write down everything you believe and don’t believe in your life. What you believe about the people you believe in. And don’t forget the people or things you don’t believe in.

Then ask yourself, in each case, why you believe what you do. “What was my original source? Is my belief still valid?” (Something like a simple online search might reveal new science.)

It’s also good to ask yourself, “Do I believe it because I want it to be true?

Chicken or Egg

For me, eggs are a great example. I don’t eat them, because my lifelong belief is that they are filled with fat and cholesterol. But that has been disproven. Turns out eggs are a good fat we need, and though they do have cholesterol, it’s not dangerous in moderation. Yet I still tend to cling to that past belief because I held it so long. It’s intellectually foolish but emotionally comforting.

Evidence

Just because you think something is true isn’t evidence enough. Maybe it even used to be true, but no longer is. Maybe the voices we’ve trusted to tell us the truth (teachers, preachers, parents, friends, books, TV, radio, social media, celebrities) just keep saying things, either because they still believe them and never bothered to find out for themselves, or they are holding on to old information that has changed.

Thinking Ahead

Five years ago my dad said to me, “What would happen if you could never hold any in-person events again? Could your business withstand it?” I told him that could never happen. Yet with COVID, it did. I had to suspend my beliefs and adopt new ones to survive.

What about you? What are you believing? 

Are your beliefs serving you, or would different beliefs serve you better?

How have 2020 and early 2021 changed your beliefs?

What are you clinging to because you want to believe it?

What do you believe that is no longer true?

Try, if you can, to suspend your beliefs about everything. 

Don’t accept the word of anyone else. Question every expert.

And if you find you’ve been believing something that is wrong, don’t beat up on yourself. You’re doing the best you can.

Find out for yourself. Be curious. It will serve you well.

Eric Rhoads

The house is rattling as though bombs were going off nearby. Flashes of light are frequent and get more in sync with the thunder as the storm closes in. Pellets fall upon the tin roof above the old porch, making a deafening sound, and water streams everywhere around me except for this one dry spot.

Lightning Strikes

When I was about 8, I visited Tennessee with my grandparents, and we were at Aunt Maxine’s farmhouse. Staring out the window at a storm, I heard a loud CRACK that shook the ground, and I could not believe my wide eyes. The thick old oak in front of the house was instantly split in half, just a few feet from my window. For perhaps the first time, I had a realization of the power of storms, and just how fleeting life can be.

Tornado Alley

I can remember being afraid of storms as a child. Growing up in Indiana, tornadoes were a fact of life, and their devastation was beyond anything I could fully comprehend. As a child I was a worrier; I had ulcers because I worried so much, and I was totally afraid I was going to be a tornado magnet. Every time I’d hear the alerts on WOWO radio, we would all go to a corner of the house, or in later days to the basement, awaiting our destruction. It was frightening. 

Then one day, for some reason, as clarity came, I realized just how silly my fear of storms was. I had moved out of the tornado zone, and though I was not going to walk in the wide-open spaces waiting for lightning to hit, in one moment in time, my perspective switched and my fear went away.

Today, sitting here in the midst of a fierce storm, I have the strength and perspective to respect it but not fear it. Instead of fear, I am comforted by the loud rumbling of thunder, and I am encouraged by the nourishment the buckets of rain bring. And often storms blow away the pollen and bring cleaner air.

Once my fear went away, I could enjoy the show.

Storms Serve a Great Purpose

I’ve found that in life, and in business, there is a need for storms. I learned a good lesson a couple of decades ago. In the radio industry, a new leader came into an organization that promotes radio. Though I liked him very much, and got to be friends with him, others thought he was brash, somewhat arrogant and obnoxious, and a little harsh.

Because I was always writing about people like him for my radio magazine, I asked him about it. His reply made me realize his true importance and his perspective.

Straight Shooter

He told me he made his living as a hired gun. He was hired by the board to clean up a mess that had been built up over decades of management problems. The organization had become filled with people who expected to be paid yet did little. There were too many staff members for the mission of the organization, and there was a lot of legacy of “the way we do things around here” and not a lot of innovation. The organization was fat, tired, lazy, and set in its ways. His job, he told me, was to clean things up.

Embarrassing

At first, I could not understand why they hired this guy. He was a bit of an embarrassment to the organization when he spoke at conferences and events. He did not have the gentle, presidential feel other leaders had had. Instead he was brash, loud, and boisterous.

Saving the Day

But the role he played saved the organization. Once he had done his job, he moved on. He told me, “I’m here to do one thing. I have no intention to stay on to operate things. Once I’ve got things cleaned up and I do all the unpopular things no one else wants to do, once I have the team rebuilt and the money under control, I’ll be gone.”

And that is exactly what happened. It took him several years to get things under control, get rid of the deadwood and hire stronger and better people, and get things back to normal. He was the storm.

Storms Are Everywhere

Over my career I’ve seen storms come into companies, into churches, into politics and other organizations. Their role is to clean things up and get things under control, and do a great reset.

How Storms Work

Cleanup people start with a learning period. They come in to get to know the people, to know the organization, and to understand things in depth. That takes time. Then, in spite of the friendships they’ve made, they start trimming trees and removing the dead wood. Firings occur, and retirements are implemented. Then these people move into a reinvention phase. They start to train those who are keepable and willing to learn and grow, and they bring new people in. They clean up the books, stop the reckless spending, and refocus the organization on its core mission. And once everything is under control and proven to be operating well, the storm clears out, the air is fresh and clean, there’s no more thunder, and the sun returns.

An Insider’s Perspective

Had I not gotten to know this guy, I’d not have understood the storm in advance. I had no idea how screwed up things were. I only knew how things appeared from the outside. Once I understood, it made perfect sense. There are people to this day who think this man was a loud, obnoxious, clumsy hack, never seeing that he saved the organization and its future.

That’s why I’m always talking about being willing to embrace adversity — because there is always a silver lining to every storm. 

Storms come into our lives in many ways. Sometimes there are phases in our lives where we have to become our own storm. Sometimes others can’t do it for us, but we can. 

Cleaning House

I can recall moments in my life where things were not going as well as I hoped. I had friends who were not good for me, who did things that were not up to my standards of ethics, yet I continued to hang out with them because they were friends. But there came a point when I realized (with the help of my wife in many cases) that these were people who did not contribute to my life. Instead, like branches that needed to be pruned, they took too much energy. They were not healthy relationships.

Not “You’re Fired”

Did I pick up the phone and say, “You’re out of my life”? No, I’d never be that unkind. I simply called less and less and then we grew apart and I disappeared. Though I was drawn to them, maybe because it was exciting or because they did things I would never do, I came to a point where I knew they were not good for me. And though I loved them, I knew if I kept talking to them or spending time with them, it would continue to be toxic. So I just had to go cold turkey and discontinue.

Do you need storms in your life?

Do you see the need for storms in your family, in your work or business, or in your community?

Are there storm-makers you’ve seen, and you never before understood that their purpose was to blow out the dead wood and do a reset?

As a child afraid of storms, I did not have the balance to understand just how important storms are to the earth. Once I flipped the switch in my mind and embraced storms instead of fearing them, I started to enjoy them.

What switches do you need to flip?

What things frighten or bother you?

What would happen if you changed your perspective and tried to imagine why storms could be good for you?

Being human, I tend to cling to my old ways. I’m stubborn, and I often don’t see how changing my perspective is not giving up my identity. Yet flipping the switch to see things differently always serves me well, and takes away the fear. 

The Switch Is On

There are times when I can’t flip a switch, when I can’t seem to find another perspective, when things look dark and frightening, and in those cases I simply have to tell myself that God is in control. What’s the worst that can happen then? It seems to make everything better.

2020 was a storm. It blew through and changed everything. Your world changed. Your circumstances and possibly your income changed. It was hugely frightening. Yet, in many ways, it made our lives better. There may be some more storms in 2021, but soon, it will have blown through, and the light will emerge from the dark and ominous clouds. 

Have faith. Embrace storms.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Without the storm of COVID and needing to survive, I never would have come up with my daily broadcasts at noon and 3 p.m. Eastern. We’ve been at it nonstop since March, and as of Friday, celebrating 289 days. (I’m on every weekday at noon Eastern and can be found on Facebook and YouTube (@StreamlineArtVideo) with rebroadcasts on other platforms. And at 3 p.m. daily, seven days a week, we’re putting up one-hour segments of the art instruction videos we’ve released over the past three decades. Join us.

Had it not been for the COVID storm, we would never have created our live online teaching events like Watercolor Live, which is coming up in late January. It’s four days of the world’s leading watercolor artists teaching and a chance to learn from the best. We have a Beginner’s Day if you’re new, and three more days of the best in the world teaching online. The price goes up January 20. You can learn more at www.watercolorlive.com.

There is magic in mornings like this. The house is still and quiet as I walk barefooted on the old wooden floors to the porch that surrounds this Texas ranch house. The sky right before sunrise is misty, and filled with pastel-colored light. Soft purples and blues can be seen in the distant hills, which have lost all detail as they stand silhouetted against the pink and yellow sky. Moments later, the top of the mountain is a glowing yellow, and gradually, the entire mountain is engulfed in light. I love the moment where the light meets the shadow and the tip of the mountain glows, creating a middle color between the bright sky and the dark shadow. To me, as a painter, it’s one of the hardest things to capture, but so pleasing when I get it right.

Dreams and Ideas

Though I cannot tell you the cause exactly, vivid dreams have been filling my head since the week of Christmas to today. Each day I awaken energized with new ideas, new concepts, and new ways to change the world … or at least my little world. I’m recalling experiences with others that never occurred, and recognizing the people in my dreams. And when I awaken, I have a sense of clarity, a new hope, so much so that I’m more enthusiastic about my days than I can remember. There is no better feeling.

Wondering Why

Nothing has changed in my diet or my regimen of vitamins and supplements, though I suspect my recent increased level of exercise has something to do with it. I had been going to the gym daily, five days a week, but that stopped with COVID quarantines. As I gained my “COVID 10,” it was clear I needed to take action, but unfortunately, a gym environment wasn’t making me feel secure. So I splurged for a machine, which so far is getting almost daily use. I’m hopeful it won’t become a coat rack like others in the past.

Letting Go

Though I believe the exercise contributes, I think it’s the peace of mind that everything is going to be OK. In spite of the turmoil, the news, the insanity of 2020 and all that has come with it — including a clear understanding that no one source can be relied upon for accurate information, and that will create confusion — it ultimately comes down to one thing. God is in control. There is that old saying, “Let go and let God.” I think I finally got there. There is something very freeing about letting go and holding perfect balance.

A Clean Slate

After a couple of days of celebration, the whiteboard of 2020 has been wiped clean. Standing before us is an empty slate, and we have the gift of a new year, knowing that we get to start over. I’m going to draw a big smiley face on the board, based on my expectations.

Hippies Everywhere

As a child of the ’60s, I can remember when the smiley face came out. It was everywhere — on stickers, on patches, on black light posters with psychedelic fluorescent colors. I wore an old army jacket with a giant smiley face patch on the back, about the size of a dinner plate. Unlike so many of my friends who were protesting everything, like the Vietnam War and other social issues (which I too felt were problems, though I think I was too young to understand just how much), I was making a statement, and it was, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

Overwhelming Moments

Like most, I’ve had moments in my life where things seemed pretty overwhelming —

moments of depression over lost loves, lost businesses, and sad situations. Yet that patch on my back has always been there, long after the old army jacket was lost. And this idea of trusting that everything is going to be OK, that there is a silver lining to all those dark clouds, and of seeking the good in the midst of all evil has worked. It’s like the line from some past presidential speech about the shining city on a hill. Darkness may be consuming, but as long as there is a light of hope, that light will always prevail.

I’ve spent a good bit of my life being criticized for that patch on my back. And it’s hard to explain why hope prevails in certain dire situations when others are hurting. But I know we all need the hope that that light, that smiley face, will return. 

Maybe I’m a little too glib for some. Frankly, it just makes some people mad. There are people who, like me, have decided to wear a patch on their back, but instead of seeking light, they are seeking darkness. I don’t think it’s intentional; it just happens to them. Or so they would say.

Rose-Colored Glasses

If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that we have a choice on the processing we use, the filter through which we look. You and I cannot control the horrific things that get laid upon our shoulders, often so heavy a burden that it feels like it’s going to crush us. I’ve had so many of those moments when I felt there was no way out, and many times it consumed me. Yet I would always somehow find that one tiny spot of light, and soon it would get bigger and bigger. I think the difference is that I’m looking for it.

A Mentor Walking with You

I read something in a book called Jesus Calling, which is a daily devotional Laurie reads out loud most mornings. It says that problems are there to teach us important lessons, like a mentor who walks side by side with us through life. And that as soon as we stop looking at problems as problems and look at them as lessons, that mentor can walk peacefully with us through our lives, and those problems won’t drag us down.  

Knowing that problems are lessons we can embrace somehow makes them easier to bear. And when I’m looking through problems, I’m seeking the light. What am I supposed to learn from this? 

This all boils down to the lens, the filter, the attitude we select. You can reach up to the shelf and grab a dark filter or a light filter. 

Which will you choose for 2021?

We are a country that has been divided. There are those who are wondering why we’re having the outcomes we’re having. Why would God let this happen? Why can’t I get my way? I wonder the same things, and often allow myself to get worked up and manipulated by the news. But once I let go, understand that there is a reason I may not understand, and seek the light, I am given peace to trust the plan.

What about you? Can you trust the plan?

What is the symbol you’ll wear on your jacket? You have a choice.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I don’t ask much, but there is someone in your life who needs to read this. Pass it on.

Briefly, I want to tell you something that made a change in my heart. A brief story. I was a pretty hard-driving business guy, pushing for meaning through my business, trying hard to make money. But, for some reason I cannot explain, it never was a suit that fully fit. Something was missing.

When I was about 39, I wandered into an art store while waiting for my wife to complete an appointment. Remembering fun at the table with my mom growing up, painting side by side, I walked out with a bag of art supplies and a little tabletop easel. 

I came home and set up a studio in a little space at the very top of the stairs, and I tried to copy photographs. But it was not going well. I could not get the globby paint to perform, and I was unable to make what was in my head show up on the canvas. I tried for weeks, but nothing was working. So I did what any self-respecting person does when they hit the wall of frustration in art.

I told myself I did not have any talent. And I gave up. I put everything in a box in the closet and resigned myself to the fact that I did not get the gene for painting.

Soon thereafter, on my 40th, Laurie bought me an art lesson at the Armory in West Palm Beach. I showed up all enthusiastic, but when I got in the class, the instructor told me to express myself and throw the paint on the canvas. My heart wasn’t in it, so I told him I wanted to learn how to paint real things, like flowers or a bottle, a face, or people (I didn’t even know the terms for still life or portrait).

He discouraged me, saying, “No one does that anymore. That’s old school.” 

Heartbroken, I tried to like what he was teaching, but after three Saturdays, I gave up again.

Soon after, I was in Miami visiting a friend. We had been to lunch in his car. He dropped me at my own car and took off. When I reached in my pocket for my keys, I realized they had fallen out in his car. I couldn’t reach him, and I didn’t think to call a locksmith, so I called a cab. This turned out to be the cab ride that changed my life forever.

With an hour and a half drive, I struck up a conversation with the driver, who turned out to be an artist supplementing his income. I told him my story, and he told me about a fellow in West Palm Beach, at the same art center, who taught classical painting. He was in the lineage of the Old Masters (he’d studied with people who studied with people, all the way back to the masters).

It took me a year to get up the courage to visit, because I had that thought rattling around in my head: that I lacked talent.

The day I arrived, I sat in the car in the parking lot for a while. I got in and out of the car. Should I go in or not? My palms were sweating. But finally, I went in.

As I entered, I could see several people painting, and their paintings, all copies of Old Masters, were way beyond anything I could see myself doing. So I did an about face and started to leave.

Thankfully this little man, Jack Jackson, called me back and asked if he could help me. Little did I know he was an angel sent from God to change my life that day.

I told him my story, and he told me I could do it, no talent required, because he taught a system. “If you can type,” he said, “you can do this.” It didn’t even require drawing skill (though it’s a good idea to learn it, he said). 

He said to give him 18 months and I could be doing work like the paintings I saw. Then he pulled me in and gave me a small project that taught me something right away. I worked on that project for a couple of hours while listening to him with the others. Then I came back again and again, and soon, I was painting at the level of the others. It did not even take 18 months.

One day, after a year or more, I was on a business trip and visited the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, a museum at the top of the hill by the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s where I saw my first Bouguereau painting. I stood in front of it and could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. It was the first time I teared up over a painting, but it was because the artist had accomplished such mastery. I teared up because I now understood what he must have gone through to reach such a high level. I can remember seeing the veins under the skin, strands of hair, and toenails that looked perfectly real.

At that moment I declared that I was going to spend the rest of my life in art. 

I did not know what I was going to do, or how, but it was because of Jack Jackson and how he opened my eyes.

That was over 20 years ago. Since then I’ve been driven to help others who, just like me, believed they could not do it because they had self-doubt and the belief that talent was required.

A couple of years ago I set a goal of teaching a million people to paint. My belief is that learning art changes your heart. I thought this would be the best way I could make an impact on the world. There are not many unhappy painters. And though there is constant frustration because we all want faster growth to the next level, we’re having fun and growing while doing it.

Since that “Bouguereau moment,” my life has been mostly devoted to art. We’ve reached a lot of people, taught tens of thousands of people to paint, and given encouragement to thousands more.

I want you to know I believe in you, and I believe you can do it, even though you don’t believe you can. I guarantee you can become an artist who is accomplished enough to be happy with your artwork. 

I know this is hard for you to believe. I was that way, the guy who could not draw a stick figure. Yet today, I’m in three galleries. Am I the best painter in the world? Far from it. But I’m living a dream, and you can too. It can be a dream of painting for pleasure, or taking it further to income. We teach it all.

Where do you start? 

I’d start at PaintByNote.com. I decided that painting is like music. If you can learn a few music notes, you can play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” or “Chopsticks.” Then, those same notes eventually lead you to Beethoven. A few simple notes, ranging from black to white, can teach you. It’s the system my mentor taught me, and it will help you learn painting foundations before you ever try color. And if you follow it, you can do it without learning to draw (which you eventually will want to do). There is a guidebook with free lessons in it, and if you want, there are some other things you could buy, but you don’t need to. 

The key to learning is just jumping in and putting your negative filters aside.

Next I want to tell you we have a watercolor event online later this month. Already over 1,300 people from around the world are coming. It’s inexpensive and has the world’s best watercolor artists teaching, and we even have a Beginner’s Day you can attend without registering for the whole thing. WatercolorLive.com

We do so much, I can’t list it all here, but it’s all available at StreamlinePublishing.com/Everything.

You can do this. You can make a resolution that you’ll give it a year. It could be the best, most satisfying thing you’ve ever done.

We are living in interesting times, and each of us has experienced something that is a part of history, a time future generations will look back to through our eyes. Though I knew most of my great-grandparents, I don’t have too many memories of their stories. But grandparents offered many a tale, family lore, tales of struggles and interesting times. 

The Great War

I can remember my Grandfather Walter telling stories about World War One. Not so much stories of war, but life in the army. I can remember sitting at the little yellow 1950s breakfast table in the kitchen of my grandparents’ Webster Street house as he told me I needed to learn to eat faster. “In the military they gave us only about five minutes to eat, and if you don’t eat fast, you won’t get enough, and you won’t know when the next meal is coming.” Yes, he converted me to a fast eater because I was too poky.

Al Capone Days

My other grandfather used to tell tales of living in a boarding house in Chicago during the Al Capone days. I seem to remember him saying that Chicago at the time was like the Wild West, with people getting gunned down by mobsters in broad daylight. I don’t know if he saw it or read about it, but it sticks with me. 

Dot Com

Today we hear stories of the “dot com era” of the Silicon Valley boom, when money was being thrown at companies and speed was needed to go public. Billions were made, and legends were created. I remember being so excited about it that I wanted to be part of it. 

A Big Win

Knowing nothing about raising money, I got on the phone with an old elementary school friend I had reconnected with as a result of a reunion. He was a venture capital guy in the middle of Silicon Valley and had been involved in some legendary companies. I told him I had an idea and had no idea how to get it funded. That call turned into a conference call, a quick flight out for an in-person meeting, and then multiple flights. The end result was that my idea was funded, we moved to San Francisco, and we were in the middle of a historic time. I met with people who became legends or funded legendary companies, including the founders of Google as it was just getting started, Napster, SalesForce.com before it was ever funded, and others. I’m sure I could bend your ear about those interesting times if you were ever to ask, and maybe one day I’ll be blessed with some curious grandchildren to listen.

Stories for the Future

Imagine being alive to tell your grandkids about a special time in America where you experienced something like the Civil War, the Revolutionary War, or more recently the Vietnam War or the Iraq War. 

Living History

We are living in one of those times now. Our lives will go down in history. We have spent most of 2020 in the midst of a worldwide pandemic. From it we’ve learned about ourselves, our families, our government, and what people are willing or unwilling to tolerate. We’ve learned about fear, about anger, and we’ve experienced a change in our culture. We’ve seen things in our streets we could never have imagined, we’ve watched our lives change, and we’ve gained or lost trust in others. As a result of 2020, we will never be the same. And, I suspect, one day some curious grandchildren will hear the stories of 2020 from us. 

I could cling to the stories of my grandparents for hours, but what was sometimes missing were the lessons they learned. Maybe they shared them and I missed it. 

Topsy Turvy

Here we are, having lived through 2020. We’ve had our world turned upside down. We’ve discovered that some we trusted cannot be trusted. We’ve learned that others we never suspected were capable of it would become patriots or heroes. We’re wondering who to believe about matters impacting our way of life. We’re hearing contradictory messages about science from equally credible people who disagree. Everything has been turned upside down.

There are millions of stories. Some will be stories of disruption and destruction, others of lost family, others of lost businesses. We’ll hear stories of wild and unexpected success along with stories of devastation. 

This week before we enter a new year, perhaps a new era, we’ll write our stories about 2020. 

If you were to write your 2020 story, what would you say? 

How will you say 2020 treated you?

What lessons have you learned that you can share with your future offspring?

I’d like to think that in 2021, we’ll get beyond 2020, see the sunshine of success again, and soon it will seem like a blur. 

Though I suspect, just like the Great Depression affected the behavior of an entire generation, we will think differently forever as a result of this year.

How will you think differently?

What will you DO differently?

I look at restaurants that have been around for decades going out of business. The great 21 Club in New York, which brought me lots of lifetime memories with friends, is going away forever. What could they have done differently? Maybe nothing, because the restaurants were forced to shut down. 

Rethinking Everything

You have to believe it will make people rethink leases on buildings, and wonder if the next business won’t require a building. It will make people rethink savings. A steady cash flow that continued week to week for decades wasn’t enough to keep some in business, because they had not saved enough to sustain them through something unexpected.

I’m wondering how many will want to work from home forever, who will no longer be out in the community. How many will never live in a city again due to the fears of experiences like civil unrest and basic supplies being unavailable?

How to Get My Attention

Though I don’t want to make light of tragedy … tragedy was the only thing that got my attention enough to fast-track things I’ve talked about for years but never done. I don’t think I realized just how vulnerable my income was, and had I not made some fast, radical decisions, I’m not sure I’d be able to write about it today.

That’s why it’s important for all of us to look at the lessons. 

Though many things were out of our control, what could we control? 

What could we do differently?

How could we have been more prepared?

This pandemic wounded many, destroyed many businesses, but at the end of the day, if we ponder the lessons, we’ll all be stronger for the unexpected next time. 

Yes, we’re living in interesting times, and there will be stories to share and lessons to learn. What will you take away from this tough year that will make you stronger and better?

Eric Rhoads

PS: I was listening to a podcast where Matthew McConaughey was interviewed about his new book, Greenlights. He talked about how most people stop at the red lights life puts in the way and how you have to learn to turn them into green lights. Pros never give up or give in; they keep at it till they find a way. If you believe in something, let no one, no discouragement, and no challenge get in your way. You can defy gravity. You have vision that no one else can understand and that others will discourage. Don’t let them talk you out of the great things you can do. There are no limits, and no age limits (too young or too old). No matter what is happening in the world, it cannot stop you. The limits exist only in your mind. Make 2021 the year you take your moon shot.

Back in April, if you’d have caught me on the right day, I was ready to give in. I was at a loss. I thought I’d be out of business. I faced laying people off, and I saw my business crash. I got pretty depressed for about 24 hours. But then I told myself, “Enough pity. It’s times like these that separate the amateurs from the pros.” Either I was going to accept things as they were, and accept failure, or I was going to find a way, no matter what. Failure was not an option. So I pulled myself together, and let fear guide me to action. I talked to all my mentors, talked to my team, and launched ideas that could have failed. In fact, I almost didn’t launch them because I was convinced they would not work. But I had nothing to lose. We survived 2020 by doing two virtual events when everything else was cancelled.

Our third virtual event, Watercolor Live, is coming up in January. It’s breaking all previous attendance records so far. It’s a gathering of the world’s best watercolor master artists, teaching watercolor. People are attending from 30 countries so far. You can become an incredible artist, and this is the open door inviting you in. Don’t let this opportunity pass. You CAN do this.