The ground is saturated with water, and puddles reflect the deep blue sky above. It’s too cold to write you from the porch this morning, so I’m huddled in my art studio in the chair normally used by models. My heater is blowing warm air over me as I try to shed the goosebumps from the cold. It’s chilly and almost freezing. Fall in Austin lasted less than a week, dropping from the 90s to the 80s and then to the high 30s. The leaves haven’t even changed. I’m hopeful that later on color will come and the temperature will return to the 70s. 

Though we’ve been back less than three weeks, it seems the lake was an eternity ago. I miss its deep green pines, and the scent of pine in the air. I miss our rustic old 140-year-old home, which has no road access, and of course I miss our friends there. But summers are short and life continues elsewhere. And it’s good to be home.

Visiting Dignitaries

Near us on a neighboring lake where we spend our summers, residents have hosted many prominent guests, including every sitting president since Eisenhower, Supreme Court justices, secretaries of state, prime ministers, foreign dignitaries, and actors. About 25 years ago, Gorbachev was a guest of a local resident. 

From Russia with Love

Following the visit of the then-Soviet leader, who at the time was in the midst of perestroika, his hostess was asked by someone … “Would you trust him with the lives of your grandchildren?” Her answer was that he was very charming, very competent and engaging, a remarkable human, and very impressive, but no, she would not trust him with the lives of her grandchildren.

Sometimes questions clarify everything. In spite of all of Gorbachev’s accomplishments, that question brought out the truth. 

A Big Week

This week each of us is faced with a decision. Many believe it’s a life-or-death decision for this country. And if you ask most, in both parties, the world ends if their hero is not elected. Sadly, decisions like this are often more emotional than they are practical. Our emotions control us, and sometimes I catch myself making decisions because I don’t like someone’s personality, their demeanor, or the way they talk. Yet if I had to put priority on what really matters, the emotional reasons would fall toward the bottom of the list. 

Stomping If They Don’t Get Their Way

As always, I avoid sharing my political beliefs or opinions, and I’m turned off by celebrities who try to sway voters with their influence. (Though I’m no celebrity — it would be shallow of me to think people could be swayed by my influence.) I have more respect for individual thinking than to believe you can’t think for yourself. Even celebrities who have threatened to move out of the U.S. are just stomping their feet because they might not get their way. They always threaten, but they never do it, and none of us care anyway. I’d be more heartbroken over losing a neighbor I loved than someone I like in the movies who I don’t even know.

The Finger

On Tuesday our index fingers will waver between which button to push, which lever to flip. And it’s important to remember the weight of your decision. It’s not a casual decision, and it should not be based on who has the best ads, who has the most negative things to say about the other, or some probably-misinformed opinion shared with anger on social media. One Twitter post said it best: “If one negative ad can sway you as a voter, you’re not thinking about this deeply enough.”

The Death of Journalism

Though non-political, I am disturbed by the polarized nature of information. Balance does not exist anymore. We tend to watch one outlet or another that supports only our own viewpoint. None seem to represent both points of view — though that’s what true journalism once did — and we are all worse off for it. Those of us who try to do balanced homework may not be able to find reliable information anywhere. When was the last time you tuned in to hear a different point of view and were willing to just listen and not judge?

So, since unbiased research via the media doesn’t seem possible, how do we decide which button to push? 

Is this the time for the question about trusting the candidates with the lives of your grandchildren or future grandchildren?

You see, the weight of your decision comes down to that — with every vote, no matter what party. All issues, social issues, party leanings, courts, and future decisions boil down to our future, the future of our kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. And it’s about our own lives going forward.

Most people put less time into their voting decisions than into choosing from a menu at dinner.  My friend and mentor Keith always reminds me that decisions of importance require thinking time, and critical questions. 

The Future of Your Family

If you think of each question you have with the grandchildren and future generations test, it may help bring clarity to your decision making. Thinking in questions helps me remove the emotion from my own decisions. 

If you knew someone who wanted to have control over the future of your children and their children — even a little bit of control — wouldn’t you have questions for them? Maybe dozens of questions? 

Think about the questions you had when you were choosing a preschool, a music teacher, a coach, or a college. What may be at stake now is the way your children will live their lives for years to come. Think of the questions you’d want to ask about that, and think about how the candidates for president and vice president (this is crucial this time, given the ages of the presidential candidates) would answer. Could they show you a future your children and their children can thrive in? 

Bad or Worse?

Here is the reality. No one in their right mind would run for office. People do it for a lot of reasons, and too often for gain or power or other less than noble goals. Therefore our choices are not always great. But, frankly, I don’t care if I like a candidate as a person, that’s my emotions talking. I care if they will protect the future for my grandkids.

Bear the Pain

Last week I talked about following your own heart, and not doing things because they’ve always been done a certain way. And though you may think one vote won’t matter in your state, it will. And none of us have a right to complain if we are not voters. So stand in the rain, wait in line in the hot sun, do whatever it takes to make your voice heard. Don’t start thinking your vote doesn’t matter because you heard rumors, polls, or press reports. Vote anyway. And don’t let anyone stop you, intimidate you, or make you think bad things will happen if you vote one way or the other. And, when listening to others, ask yourself if they are the person you would take advice about for the future of your grandchildren.

Vote with thought behind it. Know what you’re voting for. Think about the future for your kids and grandkids even if you are young. Listen to your heart, but not your emotions alone. Ask critical questions. They will serve you well.

Eric Rhoads

PS: For 221 days we’ve been “on the air” for you (Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter) at noon ET with me interviewing guest artists and at 3 p.. with art instruction videos. Join us. Go to any of those platforms and search my name or StreamlineArtVideo.

Last week’s Realism Live was the world’s largest virtual art conference. It was a huge hit. We had lots of fun, including bringing Bob Ross in for a visit from Heaven. You can see it here.

Now we’re launching the world’s largest watercolor conference with the best watercolor artists in the world. It takes place in January, but the price increases on Black Friday. Check it out at www.watercolorlive.com. We even have a Beginner’s Day.

The distant mountain of gray-blue contrasts against the white sky, which silhouettes the gnarled, twisted scrub oaks, looking like a movie set — as though an army of armored trolls is about to come in the scene. As I sit here, bright pinkish clouds begin to light up the horizon and illuminate the sky to the sound of angels singing.

Fields of little yellow flowers sprinkle the naturally weed-filled fields, and the beginnings of crunchy brown leaves are sprinkled in between. Signs of fall in Texas, a place where rich color is rarer than finding a diamond in a cave. 

On the old porch, red Adirondack chairs remind us of the place we spend our summers and mark our return here to Texas. Though we’re always sad to leave the Adirondack Mountains, the stunning fall color had ended and the ice was beginning to form on the lake, which is not a good thing when you have to get your food and supplies in by boat. For everything, there is a season, and we’re here to enjoy Texas again until late spring.

Living in Lockdown

Though life is grand, and it’s good to be home, I know many people who are struggling with the continued lockdown and its impact on their “normal” lives or incomes.

If you know me, you know I’ve been preaching about rewarding yourself with things that stimulate your creativity by doing things you love, avoiding the news and social media, and trying to “keep your head in the game.”

Misinformation

All the bad news, fear, misinformation, confusion, and vitriol are not good for our immune systems. We become what we mentally eat. And though the elections are entertaining, like a great football season, we can all get caught up in believing the world will end if our side does not win. Every election we hear “this is the most important election in history,” and the fear and worry become fever pitch, getting us all worked up. 

We have become emotional targets, manipulated by fear. If you can step back, step out of your fear or anger, and look at it from a distance, you can see exactly how we’re all being played. 

I don’t share my politics because I love my followers and don’t want to disrespect you by not respecting your opinions. I would never step out to share my thoughts — because I respect you, and I also don’t think it’s smart business. 

I’m NOT Running

About six years ago a major, well-known political operative approached me and inquired if I would run for the U.S. Senate. I thought about it for about 10 seconds before declining the offer out of respect for the quality of life I’m living and the need to be here for my family. And, frankly, I don’t want to make enemies. I want to love and be loved and would not be capable of launching a negative campaign against another. It’s not a game I want to play. I wouldn’t run for dogcatcher.

Great Entertainment

Over the next nine days, we’re all likely to be glued to our screens like we’re seeing a great cliffhanger in a movie. We’ll probably see more mudslinging than we’ve ever seen before. We might see unexpected things that rock our world and make us lose faith in humanity. We’re even likely to hear things about people we love and respect that will severely disappoint us. No, I have no inside information, I just know that there is a war on for your vote, and lots of missiles will be fired over the coming days. I’m guessing the unexpected will surprise us all.

A few thoughts to get you through the next nine days, and probably the months to follow, where sore losers will try every possible thing to change the outcome.

1. Stay in prayer. If you’re one who prays, remember to turn everything over to God. Pray for His will to be done in your life and in this country. This, more than anything else, gives me peace about all the craziness.
2. Be there for others. Everyone is worked up. Everyone needs a distraction. Everyone needs to know you care for them. You can be there without talking politics. But, with all that is going on in the world, suicide hotlines have seen huge increases in calls. People have fears about their future, and you can help them through it.
3. Boost your mental and physical immunity. Fear and worry destroy your immunity. You need to do things to increase your happiness. Do things daily that give you joy, that are fun, and that distract you from doom and gloom. Eat well, take your supplements, and get exercise. 
4. Keep your head down. If you’re in the middle of a political discussion, there are bullets flying over your head. Do you really want to be in the middle of that negativity? You cannot change anyone else’s mind, and they cannot change yours. Is this where you want to spend your energy?
5. The only things you can always control are your actions and your reactions. Voting is one thing you can control, and avoiding the negativity and the negative people is another. Change what you can control. 
6. Be the kind of person who lifts others up. We all know them and look forward to being around them. Don’t be the kind of person who is constantly firing bullets at others over politics. I’m so disappointed in the social media vitriol, which is why I’m trying to avoid it.
7. Think for yourself. I’ve come to know that I cannot trust ANYONE to have accurate information. I can’t trust any news source. I cannot trust social media. So you have to dig for your own facts, try to find multiple perspectives. Don’t just look for things that reinforce what you already want to believe. Seek balance.
8. Let go of “shoulds” — things we’ve told ourselves we should do. We all have preconceived ideas based on our past, our families, our parents, our friends. It’s always a good idea to ask yourself why. Why am I voting? Is it emotional, because I don’t like someone? Is it practical, because I want something accomplished? Or is it based on something I have always done, and changing makes me uncomfortable? Don’t listen to your friends, your family, the people you have always followed, but examine your own heart. Just because you’ve always voted a certain way does not mean it’s right for you today. Peer pressure is intense. But follow your heart, not what you or your family have always done in the past.

I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to have pure joy in your life and peace. I want your life to be what you want it to be. I want you to live your dreams. Everything we have in life comes from what we manifest, where we focus, and how we react and respond to the world. If you respond with love, peace, and with a smile on your face, your life will be filled with grace, which beats high blood pressure, anger, fear, and hate.

If nothing else, this is going to be a wild ride. Enjoy it.

Eric Rhoads

PS: This summer, after several days of back pain, I discovered a chiropractor, “Dr. Joe,” who was able to make my problems disappear. We hit it off on the first visit because he had just created his first paintings ever. I was able to give him some ideas and tips, and every time we met all summer, he would ask me for more ideas and tips on painting. The day before we left, I went in for a final tuneup, looked forward to next season, and said a fond farewell. He asked if he could contact me for painting advice through the year. Of course I said yes, and looked forward to coaching a beginner (I love teaching).

Little did I know it would be the last time I saw him. Three days later, Joe was dead. He had pulled the trigger on his own life for reasons I’ll never know. 

Though I had only known this young man (about 30) over six visits, I was really bothered by this news. Such a nice guy, such a talented chiropractor, such a promising painter. But the demons inside his head got the better of him, and though I don’t know what those demons were, someone has to be hurting deeply to want to take their own life. He had never shared hurt, but I’m wondering if I could have made a difference, helped him through his pain, shown him an alternative path, or offered him a new perspective. If only I had gotten to know him on a deeper level.

Then last week, an acquaintance, painter Greg LaRock, also a fairly young man, fell while rollerblading with his wife, and experienced head trauma that resulted in his death. Another brilliant candle snuffed out too early.

We all tend to be optimists when it comes to life. I think most of us plan to live long lives. We don’t expect an early passing from an accident, a disease, or even being so distraught that we end it ourselves. Yet life is fragile. The reality is that none of us know when our time will come. 

In each of these cases, my first reaction was that I wished I had known them better, on a deeper level. I wish I had taken the time and made more of an effort. It’s a reminder for us all to get to know people on a deeper level, seek to understand their needs, and step in to offer help if needed.

Live each day as if it were our last.

Last week I completed Fall Color Week, a week of painting fall color with friends. Then we completed Realism Live for a huge number of artists in 27 countries. And I just announced our January watercolor conference, Watercolor Live.

Halloween is just around the corner. Find a way to have some fun, even though it will be less than normal. We all can use a little more fun these days.

It could be a horror movie. Fog so dense I can barely see my hands in front of me. The cold air hitting the warm water has made the lake completely disappear. Gradually, as the sun peeks out, I can see a soft silhouette of trees, and then, as the fog burns off, the water becomes visible. Then some hint of color appears in the trees, until the fog has completely lifted. 

Years ago, on a morning like this, before I ever had kids, my dad would come and wake me to get out early in the boat to shoot photos of boats and camps in the mist. We would cover ourselves in layers of jackets, venture into the freezing air, and capture some of the best photographs ever.

One August morning I remember him waking us early to tell me we had six inches of snow overnight and we needed to get out and photograph it before it melted off. It was gone two hours later, but I got some of the best photos I ever took on that day.

Wake Up!!

Life as Rhoads kids had a lot to do with waking up early for an unplanned adventure. In summer of 1964, Dad came in and said, “We’re leaving on vacation in 30 minutes. Get packed.” He didn’t say where we were going, but we ate a quick breakfast, threw our bags into our old blue Oldsmobile, and a day or so later, we were at the 1964 World’s Fair in New York. I can still remember the moment we pulled up at the hotel. I had never seen a doorman before. And every moment and exhibit at the World’s Fair is as clear to me as it was on the days we spent there. My favorite things were the “Kodak Moment” signs showing you the best places to take shots of the exhibits, like the mid-century modern buildings (where I fell in love with architecture and design), the giant globe, the Space Park, the GM exhibit of future cars, the Bell Systems futuristic video phone, and the Westinghouse Time Capsule. 

It was also my first memory of falling in love with art, as we visited the Frick Museum and I saw a giant painting of sword-fighting pirates. That’s pretty cool to a 10-year-old.

Cooler Than Anything Ever

The World’s Fair was the coolest thing I had done in my little life at the time, and I still am amazed at the number of concepts seen there that have come true today. It expanded my mind about what was possible, and since that time I’ve wanted to be one of those people who invented cool stuff. I also wanted to be an architect because the designs at the fair and in New York were unlike anything I had ever seen. 

My fascination with cool things and innovation has lasted a lifetime, and the most important discovery I’ve made is that it’s rare that others can see your vision. In fact, they will mock you, laugh at you, and call you crazy. Then they will shoot you down and tell you all the reasons it’s a bad idea, all the reasons it will fail, and all the reasons no one will want it. The other discovery I’ve made is that you have to force your vision to happen in spite of all that. If it’s left up to others, even co-workers, big things may not happen.

What have you done to go against the tide lately?

Money Is Irrelevant

Greatness isn’t about becoming a billionaire. Becoming wealthy or a billionaire may be a byproduct of greatness, but it’s rarely done with the money in mind. Success follows ideas that change lives and make life better. Money sometimes follows. Sometimes not. But money is irrelevant.

What’s relevant is that you embrace and chase your wild dreams and that you never let anyone rain on your parade. 

The Stupidity of Fear

I can give you three examples of ideas I had 20 years before anyone that I did not pursue because people I respected told me what I was thinking defied physics and was not possible. If I had been willing to pursue them, and fight for a decade or two, I too would be a billionaire now. I have since learned to listen to my gut. 

I can also give you examples of great ideas I didn’t pursue but that others later came up with — that were complete failures. Yet in each case, I felt as though they were doing it wrong. Maybe my way would have succeeded?

Not Arrogance, Confidence

People often accuse people like Elon Musk or Thomas Edison of being arrogant, when in fact they are so driven by their vision that they become very sure of themselves. When you’re sure of yourself, you can take the football across the goal line no matter what obstacles are in the way. 

Defying Physics

We humans on this earth need to know that each of us possesses the skill to take anything impossible and make it possible, no matter our age, our circumstances, or our disadvantages. Meeting with a scientist one day, I was told that what I wanted to do defied physics — yet it was later done and proven possible. I’m not a scientist, I don’t “do” physics, but sometimes those of us on the outside can see ways to do things because we don’t know they can’t be done.

Yes, It’s Impossible. So What?

When I started my Internet radio company in San Francisco in 1999, a search firm lined up a couple of dozen interviews with top engineers. Each told me what I wanted to do was impossible. One told me it was impossible — but he would figure out a way. We did it, made history, and our tech is in use in every streaming broadcast in the world today. 

The limits you face are hiding out inside your head. I can remember discussions with an uncle who was brighter than all the engineers on earth. He had hundreds of brilliant ideas, yet when I asked him why he never pursued them, he told me there were other, more qualified people, and he was living what he was meant to be doing. His head was getting in the way of his changing the world. I’m not critical, he was doing what he wanted to do, yet I felt he could have changed the world in big ways with his ideas.

What We Need in School

There are no college, high school, or trade school courses teaching our students the most important principles of success. We should be teaching our kids that the impossible is almost always possible, that mindset impacts everything, and that the cards you were dealt do not have to be the cards you play. Yes, it’s hard work. Yes, it’s hard to face resistance, criticism, and ridicule. So what? I can think of harder things than that — like showing up every day for a job you hate.

Greatness has no limits. When these ideas come into your head, they should not be ignored. You’ve been selected to receive the idea, and it’s up to you, not anyone else, to follow up if you believe in its value to the world.

You’re Too Old

The other issue that gets in the way is this lame perception of age. I blossomed late, I’m better than I ever was, and I can do things today I could not pull off three or four decades ago. Do you think I’m going to let someone dictate to me that something isn’t possible because I’m well seasoned? No. The accumulation of experience over decades is just the thing to make you the right person. And the things most proven to contribute to longevity are an active brain, an active body, and an active social life. Why sit around wasting all those years of experience?

You’re Too Young

Youth is also a frequent excuse. “I’ll do it after college” is what I sometimes hear. Yet a young man I met had an idea in his high school science class for a technology to detect pancreatic cancer early, and has changed the world of medicine. He was 15, and is now on his way to being a billionaire before he’s 30. 

World-changing may not be about putting man on Mars. It might just be your role in the local art association, and applying your skills to help them reinvent. My friend Mary Longe, a former powerhouse PR and marketing executive, has made Plein Air Chicago a formidable organization. She’s working full time while retired, and loving it.

Ideas are a blessing. They are not for your entertainment; they are a combination of all your experiences, unique to you. Embrace them. You too can change the world.

Eric Rhoads

PS: One of the ways I want to change the world is by teaching a million people to paint. Since I set that goal, I’ve aggressively been driven to hit it so I can then make it bigger. The goal is meaningful to me because learning to paint was life-changing for me. It opened my eyes and my heart in new ways, and I want others to experience that level of joy. 

Because of COVID, I started going “on the air” daily at noon ET on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Live, to help you and others keep their heads out of the disaster of the pandemic and, now, the other things shaking our way of life. I also started doing free video samples of the hundreds of videos we’ve produced (daily at 3 p.m. ET). We had already seen over a million views by day 22, and today is day number 186 without a day off. I don’t know if we’ve reached a million different people or if we’ve taught a million to paint, or if it’s lots of views by fewer people. Yet the goal remains important to me. 

When I was young I painted with my mom at the dining table at 5211 Indiana Avenue in Fort Wayne, Indiana. When I was 10, I was exposed to real painting. When I was 40, I decided I wanted to paint, but I had no self-confidence and I believed talent was required. Now I paint for fun, my work is in a gallery, and I continue to learn and grow. I’m living proof that you can learn to paint even if you think you can’t draw a stick figure, and I’m going to prove it to you. 

If you invest four days of your time, or even one day of your time, in my Realism Live online virtual art conference, where we have brought together the biggest artists in realism, you will be taking the leap and learning the important principles you may not learn at some rinky-dink art class. This is the real deal, and I guarantee it. If you attend one full day, and do not think you learned enough to get you moving in the right direction, I’ll refund 100% of your money.

This event will help you, it will help the artists we’re bringing in (artists are having trouble getting by right now), and it will help us. This event will help my business survive when all of our in-person events have been cancelled. And if it’s not right for you, let us know by the end of day one, and you get your money back. It’s a great offer because we have great confidence it can teach you the principles you need to get started. You can be new to art (Beginner’s Day suggested), or you could be wanting to take it up again, get to the next level, or get to the highest level. You’ll see top painters painting and drawing, giving instruction and tips, and you can watch replays again and again (especially if you can’t make the dates).

I would not say this just to make a sale … but this four days is life-changing. Take a few days off and pursue the dream of art. You’ll never regret it.

I was shy, I lacked confidence, and I didn’t believe in my ability to learn to paint. I was graced with a man by the name of Jack Jackson who convinced me to give him just one day, and if I liked that one day, come back for another. One day at a time. In one day, he changed my life. Today I operate an art-related publishing business that trains artists, informs and educates collectors, and teaches artists to sell their work. And best of all, I’m passionate about painting. It’s all because I took a small step and committed to one day. If you commit to my one-day beginners’ class, that’s the step you can take. If you want to add more later, you can. But one step, with a no-risk money-back guarantee — you have nothing to lose but one day. And you may gain a lifetime of painting. It’s life-changing. Sign up at RealismLive.com.

There are 95 days left in 2020, and you can take a disaster year and make it the best year of your life by signing up today. Don’t let anything get in the way of your happiness and joy. Nothing. 

Happy Yom Kippur to my Jewish friends. 

A quiet roar of leaves rattling through thousands of wilderness acres fills the distant air as the lapping water nudges the rocks on the shore by the barely moving lake. A nearby spring-born loon proudly calls out, knowing she is near ready to fly toward the Southern border within weeks as the brisk air turns to ice. A close gathering of loon relatives loudly encourages her as she flops and flutters a Sunday-morning experimental flight.

Glistening deep yellow sun reflects like dancing elves, sparkling and shimmering atop the surface of the water. Black lace; pine tree needles in silhouette frame the scene I love so dearly as I leave my warm little cabin to venture into the chilled air to visit the 140-year-old octagon-shaped porch on the lake. Filled with the sounds of beeping birds, fluttering squirrels, and the tapping little feet of field mice.

Yellow lupines and goldenrod spring up to signal fall as the dappled light makes the apples in the tree behind the kitchen glow orange. Deeply I breathe in the crisp fall air, knowing we’ll soon have to leave this unheated paradise once colder weather hits. I’m rolling the dice that I’ll see enough fall color saturate the mountain in leaves of red before we turn the key on our drive back to Texas.

Newfound Autumn

Fall, my favorite season, is something we’ve never experienced on this little Adirondack island, and barely experienced here in the past. Maybe once, before the kids started school. The call of the school year has always required our return to Austin, but now we’re staying on to experience the fall, along with our newfound roles as empty nesters who are not quite sure how to handle this newly discovered thing called silence.

Memories of my first visit to this million-acre protected park remind me that I was uneasy about coming to this place as our family sold our Lake Wawasee place in Indiana after three generations. I thought that was my favorite place, our summer escape. But rather than resting on tradition alone, my father, troubled by loud Jet Skis and racing boats and fumes of fuel, responded to the movie On Golden Pond, realizing there were still places that remained quiet, without the noise and pollution — much like Wawasee was when our family first settled there. I resisted the breaking of tradition. I didn’t want to leave there to come here, and I was determined not to like it. But by the end of a week here, I discovered something about this place, and about my own heart, that resulted in my never wanting to leave. Summers on this lake have blessed me since 1989.

Cozy, and Stuck

The lesson for me was that I was comfortable and resting on something that was good, but not as good as it once was, and for me never as good as when my great-grandfather fished that motorless lake. I was obstinate, unwilling to leave, determined not to accept the change made by my father — who was selling it hard because he knew we would fall in love as he had. In short, I was cozy and stuck in my ways.

Human nature prevails when comfort sets in. I’m reminded of a cartoon my late friend Courtney Thompson sent me decades ago: a picture of a general whose men are in battle with antiquated weapons. A man is there selling Gatling guns (early machine guns), and the general says, “I don’t have time to see a salesman. Can’t you see I’m in a battle?” The idea is that he was too preoccupied to look at something that would have given him an advantage and allowed him to end the battle much more quickly. 

We are a resistant bunch, we human beings. We get stuck. We do things because that’s the way they have always been done. That’s what we think, or believe, because it’s what our fathers and mothers believed, it’s what our grandparents, great-grandparents, and their forefathers believed. All too often we fail to think for ourselves. And if someone were to bring documented proof that what we believe is wrong, we’d still resist it. I’ve often wondered whether, if someone brought indisputable, documented proof that my biblical beliefs were untrue, I’d be able to shift the thinking I’ve spent my life believing.

Fragile Freedoms

This COVID-crazed time, this time of unrest and turmoil, this time of information and misinformation, censorship of social media, confusing and conflicting data that can bring distrust of any new information, has helped me realize how easily we comply with suggestions if they’re in the name of safety. This has helped me realize just how fragile our freedom can be. I’m finding my brain scrambling to understand what and who to believe anymore.

What about you?

The good news is that I’m forced to challenge my beliefs, I’m forced to explore other outlooks and opinions, and I no longer trust any of the voices I once relied upon. I can’t believe a single tweet or video that is stated as fact, and I can’t even trust the fact-checkers. It seems everyone has an agenda to sway me one way or another. 

I have to think for myself. 
I have to challenge everything I’ve believed in the past.
I have to accept that I might have been wrong, or that others I used to believe can no longer hold my trust.

There is a tectonic shift taking place in this world, right before our eyes.

Follow the Incentives

We can no longer sit in comfort and accept what is happening to us. We have to use the brains we’ve been given, and we have to ask “Why?” with every word we read. We have to follow the incentives, follow the money, follow the purpose of every word and statement thrown our way.

It’s uncomfortable, and I’d rather be comfortable, yet we cannot allow our comfort to blind us or we’ll never be comfortable again. 

I’m just guessing, but I feel as though things will be seen that we won’t want to believe. We’ll need to decipher, decode, and think for ourselves rather than rely on the comfortable past of our former selves, our family ways of doing things, and maybe even history itself.

Disruption Means Challenge

Like it or not, 2020 has disrupted us. Much like my father dragging us to a place we didn’t think we wanted to go, this disruption will make us challenge every thought and belief we’ve ever had. It’s frightening, but then again, change always is. Yet it’s change that improves life. It is discomfort that creates new levels of comfort, and hard times that make us stronger and better.

And … it’s a time when my faith is amplified as the only thing I can trust.

Embracing Rebirth

Every generation in the past has had something… the Great Depression, great wars and conflicts, plagues, civil unrest, and disease. We’re getting our chance to experience a special time in our lives, a time we will share with our grandkids, a time that will enter the history books. It may not be what we would choose, but we should embrace it for the ways we will be reborn.

Fear not. 

This may seem like a time to fear. It may seem that the things happening will never end, that life will never be good again, that things might get worse. I can’t trust in man, I can only trust in God, and trust that we’ve been given the ability to think and make decisions for ourselves for a reason.

Like Your Life Depends on It

This will pass, and life will be good again. But it will be different, which is why your willingness to think and ask yourself who and what you believe, is more important than ever. Think like your life depended on it. Use your own brain, be willing to consider differing opinions, be willing to ask yourself why something is true, why you should believe it, what needs to be seen that’s not clearly visible. Ask yourself if you’re stuck or blindly following the way things have always been.

Change what you can change. Speak up about what you see to help others — like me — see a new perspective. You may end up being the one voice they can trust. And know that a freight train of change, of obtuse ideas, of hard-to-believe truths may be put before you that could change something you’ve believed for your entire life. 

A Time for Questioning

This isn’t a time for comfort, it’s a time for critical thinking, for questioning everything we believe, for questioning everything others tell us and questioning who we trust to load our brains. It’s also not a time to seek reinforcement of what we already believe, but a time to deeply question ourselves and what we are clinging to from our past..

Answers always lie in our questions. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: For 179 days, no days off, I’ve been on social media at noon Eastern, with one single intention … to keep your head in the game. What that means is that I am trying to offer a distraction from the virus and the things causing us to fear. As they say on the airlines, put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. You and I cannot be there for our families and friends if our anxiety is at its peak, if our fear is consuming us, if our immune system is compromised by stress. My daily presence is designed to remind you to breathe, to do things for yourself, to do things that are fun, even though you may feel guilty about having fun. I want you to feed your soul, feed your mind, and feed your body with the good things that will keep you strong and balanced. 

I have to avoid the news, I have to avoid doom scrolling, and I have to avoid negative people on social media or in person. I don’t put my head in the sand, but I refuse to fill my brain with hours and hours of negativity. Stress is the number one cause of cancer, of heart disease, and of all disease. You have to protect yourself by getting exercise, eating great food, and avoiding things that depress you, meaning negative information and negative substances. That’s why I’ve opened the vaults and am giving you what I normally charge for each day at noon and three — to help others have a positive distraction, something that some find fun. And if we’re learning, growing, and having fun, we’re strengthening our ability to get through anything placed before us. And we will think more clearly because we’re exercising our brains to discover new things. I’m only offering art. That may not be for you, but find something your heart needs to fill your soul with joy.

In an effort not only to try to save my business, but to help others have a few days of complete escape and a flood of training, I’ve created some live virtual events to teach art to anyone who wants to learn. I’ve leveraged my lifetime of contacts to get the best of the best to teach drawing, painting, and various forms of art, including landscape, plein air, portrait, figure, still life, flowers, and more. It’s the first conference of its kind online, and we have already had about 1,200 people sign up from over 30 countries. It’s going to be monumental. Learn more about it at RealismLive.com.

If you like art and are curious, it’s not a lot of money. The last one I did, a woman attending said she got a four-year art education in five days. She said it was better than art school. Now I can’t make that claim, but you can find out for yourself (or forward this to friends you think might like to learn art). I do have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you attend, but don’t like it by the end of day one, let us know. We will refund 100% of your money, and you will have received day one for free.

Fall is in the air. The light is dim, as if winter is around the corner, and there is a warm cast to the distant wood, the result of the trees gradually beginning to rust. Soon our mountain will glow with red and the ferns will become alizarin crimson. Goldenrod plants and little orange flowers are budding everywhere. Though it’s still warm, I feel the need to put on a sweater, because it’s just that time of year here in the wilderness. We hope to stay as long as possible, until our heat-free cabin freezes us out. Then we will return to life as normal. If there is such a thing these days.

Nineteen years ago yesterday, I was due to be in the Twin Towers with my management team from RadioCentral, a company I had founded. You can read the account of my near-miss here (scroll down).

What fascinates me is the extended life I was granted.

Monumental Days

There are days we always remember, like the day John F. Kennedy died, the day a man walked on the moon, the day the Space Shuttle exploded in mid-air, and of course, September 11, 2001.

On that day, my pregnant wife and I watched in fear and angst, and wondered what kind of world our soon-to-be-born triplets would be living in. Now, today, we’ve just put the triplets in college and are living in a nest with no birds at home.

Clarity

When tragedy strikes and we are spared, we often think about what we want to do with this life that did not end when maybe it seemed it would. These moments bring clarity. And that clarity resulted in tens of thousands of people leaving New York City to live in a place where life could be more enjoyed and safety was more assured. And, today, 19 years later, a pandemic has made people think twice about their lives, their values, and where and how they spend their time. They say New York City has lost a half-million residents permanently — about the population of the entire city of Atlanta. It boggles the mind.

Often when we have these moments of clarity, we proclaim our intent to live our lives to the fullest. Then as life continues, days or weeks later, we get back to throwing away our time and not using what our second chance provided.

Have you ever had a second chance and swore you would make every day count?

The question I get most is, “How do you get so much done? How do you handle so many things?” Yet the thing I am continually asking myself is, “Why do I waste so much time?”

Though I’ve not done a personal time audit for years, I’d guess that three or more hours of my work time each day are not as productive as they could be. I’m always asking myself why I waste so much time.

How much time do you waste?

What Matters?

The value of these moments of clarity is that they help us refocus our attention on what really matters. After 9/11 I had to ask myself if I would have been satisfied with my accomplishments, had that been my last day on earth. 

And, during COVID-19, I’ve had to ask myself, did I get done what needs to be done? What if I’m the next person to catch the virus? Have I done enough?

Though I’d like to think those moments kick me in the behind and help me focus, we tend to lose that clarity as quickly as it comes. And I think we need constant reminders of what is important. What if I had one week, month, or year left? What is essential?

Have you stopped to ask what is essential for you?

If our time is filled with things that will never really matter, why do we do them? Well, clearly we have essentials that are urgent but not important in the grand scheme of things — paying the bills, keeping the grass mowed. 

But what are the three things you want to do most with the rest of your life? And how can you remember to focus on them more than anything else?

I don’t bring you answers … only questions. You’ll have to find the answers.

Life Extended

When my life was extended because my meetings in the World Trade Center were cancelled that day, I made a list of things I needed to get done that were important to me. I don’t even know where that list is, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re making that list on a regular basis, and finding a way to move those chess pieces on the board of life.

Big Purpose for Each of Us

We’re not made to be sedentary, to sit, to rot. We each have been blessed with something we can contribute to the earth. We’re not here only to buy big-screen TVs and pay cable bills. We each need to find that purpose and pursue it like it’s our final hour. Because one day, perhaps when we least expect it, it will be.

What are you here to contribute?

What is something that is special about you, something no one else can do? If you dig, it’s there. Some of us take years to find it, but you should never stop searching. You’ll know it when you find it, or it finds you. For me it was a life in art and applying my gifts for marketing and business to help thousands of artists live better lives. Before that, it was doing the same in radio. You see, it’s a moving target, ever-changing. 

I believe we get what we expect. If we expect greatness, it will find us. 

Ask yourself why: Why was I born? What was the purpose our Maker had in mind for just me? You’re not random, you’re here for a purpose, and each day needs to be focused on that purpose. Any day not focused is either rest, to give you energy to continue, or a misused day.

There is no limit placed on you by age, by birth, or by circumstances. You have a purpose. Pursue it and life will become enormously rich.

Eric Rhoads

PS: How can I be so arrogant, so full of myself, to believe that I can create the world’s largest art conference online? It was a question posed in a negative post on social media after I declared I wanted to do it. But it’s not arrogance at all. It’s belief in my mission to make artists stronger because it needs to be done, and someone needs to do it. Why not me? God has plans for us all. If he has selected you, he has the confidence that you’re the one to carry it out. As I said last week, still yourself, and listen.

I’ve been given the gift of life. Nineteen years since 9/11/2001. I am grateful for the gift I was given, the experience of becoming a dad and raising three wonderful souls. And grateful for the chance to serve you and others. I could have done more, and I intend to use my time to do a better job, and waste less valuable time and energy. Today, I’m reminded of just what a gift each day is. I’m grateful to you for this opportunity to share your inbox each Sunday.

Clanking is the sound I hear as the ropes hit the masts on the sailboats tied to the dock nearby, the swift breeze rocking them to and fro. The raging sound of an outboard motor zipping from across the lake carries as if right in front of me as a neighbor goes out to pick up the local paper, as he does every Sunday morning. There is no delivery when you live in a boat-access-only camp.

Puffy clouds filled with dark droplets waiting to pour out float sluggishly across the cloudscape sky. In the distance a slight hint of rust on some leaves hails an early indicator of fall.

Summer, as of this weekend, is officially over. It’s as though it just started, not only because time flies when you’re having fun, it flies when you’re tied down and staying home. 

The Year That Never Was

I find it almost impossible to believe we’re this far into the year that never was. The year that disappeared behind a mask. The year that forced us into lockdown, only to discover things about ourselves we otherwise would never have known.

As we put a bow on summer and set it to drift off into the glorious sunset of fall, I continue to ponder our world, the effects of world events, and the pandemic.

Years ago my grandfather told me a story of when he was a child. His ailing, bed-bound grandfather was lying in bed, talking to my grandfather and his cousin Clifford. “Boys, you need to get on your bicycles and go down the road to Mrs. Tompkins’ house. I think you’ll find her hunched over in her rocking chair on the porch, holding her baby. You need to go fetch that baby and bring it back here, because Mrs. Tompkins is dead.”

Of course, the boys thought that was ridiculous because he had no way of knowing that, yet to humor him, they rode down the road, only to find Mrs. Tompkins holding the baby, sitting in the rocker, dead.

The Voice of God?

I’d ask my grandfather if his grandfather had special powers of some sort, and he always said, “No, he was just always listening to God.” 

As I’ve thought about this over my life, I too have experienced it on occasion. One morning I had a dream, woke up, and called Lee, the morning DJ at the radio station I worked for. I said, “Lee, congratulations on the baby girl.” He said, “Eric, you must be dreaming. The baby isn’t due for three more months, and we know it’s a boy.” Then I told him my vivid dream that it had been born early, and said it seemed very real. We both laughed. Then five minutes later he called me and said, “Eric, how did you know? My wife, Sandy, was trying to reach me, but I was on the phone with you. She just had a baby girl.”

My wife always says things like, “I’ve got a feeling something bad is about to happen,” and her track record of intuition is often spot on. 

Learning to Listen

One of the benefits of the Pandemic of 2020 is that our lives are quieter now. I’m not one to believe in fortune-tellers or soothsayers, and even the Bible warns against that. But I do believe that we all have very high levels of intuition, and that we tend not to listen to it because we stay too busy.

When we’re not on a whirlwind roller coaster, when we’re not commuting two hours a day or rushing off here and there, we can hear the voices in our heads. Maybe, as my grandfather said, it’s the voice of God.

Better Days Ahead

I tend to be a contrarian, and I’m not a worrier. During this moment of civil unrest, COVID, and political battlegrounds, I’m not feeling worried. In fact, I feel as though it will lead us to a new place, a better place where our lives are more balanced, where our world is more balanced, and where the things that have plagued our lives for generations will no longer be problems.

I think people are implementing change in their own lives, and as a result will expect, perhaps demand, change in all aspects of life. 

Are you ready?

Time to Not Be Busy

Am I crazy? Maybe.

I want to encourage you to take this special day, this holiday weekend, and take some time to not be busy. Turn off the media, turn off social media, surround yourself with quiet. In Japan they call it “forest bathing.” I’ve been doing it for months, and avoiding social media and the news.

By doing this, taking two-hour walks in the deep forest, I’ve found I’m in touch with the voices in my head. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking. Maybe it’s more. 

I have no idea if these thoughts mean something new is really on the horizon, but that matters less. What matters more is that I’m experiencing quiet, and it is allowing me to think, to hear, to listen.

What about you?

No “Woo Woo” Here

I’m not a “woo woo” kind of guy, and if I had heard someone say what I just said, I’d be worried for them (and maybe ready to call the men in the white coats).

But I can say one thing for sure … We’ve all been too busy. Our lives have been crazy. We went from missing all the stimuli in the beginning to now wishing they don’t return, at least not at the level we once had them. COVID-19 has brought that blessing to the world, and I think the world is about to come together in a new way never seen in our lifetimes. This will begin a new era of change, which I think will change everything about what we accept, what we do, and how we do it. It’s almost as if we will flop 180 degrees from where we were.

Call me nuts. But stop, look, listen, and you may see things changing too. Though life has been good, it’s been too busy, too insane, and too overstimulated. Take a deep breath and pay close attention. And we may be ready to accept change, and things you would have never believed.

Eric Rhoads

P.S. The voices in my head told me that I needed to pivot and start online art conferences, and they have started to save my ailing business. The next one, Realism Live, is going to be huge. Already 1,200 are signed up, and there are two months to go. If you want to learn art or get better, take a peek.

Thoughts and prayers to those who suffered in the recent hurricanes and fires. What’s next? Locusts? But let’s stay positive. I’m there for you daily, 165 days in a row as of today. Catch me on Facebook Live and YouTube at noon Eastern daily. (Search Eric Rhoads or Streamline Art Video.)

Massive gray and yellow clouds are billowing, filling up the sky in every direction and racing at high speed to win the cloud race. The sound of thousands of acres of blowing trees is almost deafening. Trees are bent and there are whitecaps on the water sloshing up against the dock, which is too wet for comfort. The temperature has dropped and a chill fills the air, countered by burning logs in the ancient stone fireplace of this old Adirondack lodge. The scent is heavenly as the smoke swirls and dances to merge with the clouds once it escapes the old red brick chimney. This storm is fierce, but I cannot imagine being in Hurricane Laura. My heart goes out to everyone in its path and those who have had to battle destruction at its highest level.

Looking Back

With all three kids in college now, I’m thinking about them more than ever and second-guessing the things I should have done, should have taught them. I can see, for instance, that I let them off the hook, did not work them hard enough to develop great work ethics, and yes, they are a little entitled or spoiled. That certainly was not my intention, but I can say sometimes it is just a lot easier to buy things than argue about doing the chores to earn the money. Hopefully the lessons imparted will creep into their work ethic over time. 

I now have a new appreciation for my parents and grandparents. Realizing it’s more work to make kids work than to give them everything they need.

Entitled Kids

It’s been said at certain times that we’ve raised a generation of entitled kids who have not had to work, not had to earn their way, and who want things handed to them. I’m not sure if I believe it or not. Though there certainly is some recent evidence in behavior in certain areas, I don’t want to be one of those people who say, “Kids today aren’t like kids in our day.”

Though we are all born equal in the eyes of God, there are differences that exist in each person because of their upbringing, their parents (or lack of parents), the direction given by grandparents and other family members, and even physical differences. No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be a 7-foot basketball player.

I deeply believe that we can all make opportunities. We may be unlucky at birth, but we’ve all seen even people with no mobility or massive disadvantages become super successful. We’ve seen people grow up with nothing and become billionaires or successful writers, actors, professionals, or businesspeople. 

Though I can be “Mr. Positive” and believe we think our way to success, I now believe that the primary driver of success (which is defined by everyone differently) lies in a person’s self-confidence. Thinking is one thing. Believing is what’s important.

Encouragement

When I was a kid my dad would tell us, “You can become anything you can imagine,” and I’ve tried to share that with my own kids. But I can remember not completely believing it. Yet thankfully, my influences believed in me and encouraged me and focused on my positive traits and never even mentioned the negative ones. Eventually, I started believing it.

People who have lifted themselves from ashes to greatness either had their own self-confidence, no matter what their influences were, or they had influences offering constant encouragement. 

Repetition is the gateway to belief.

Something for Nothing

Recently, in the car with my son, I could see the scratchings of a lottery ticket, and without being critical, I told him I don’t play the lottery — not only because I don’t believe in gambling, but because I don’t want anything handed to me. Instead I want the satisfaction and pride of having accomplished it.

A Sad Life

Years ago my friend Marvin, a member of the lucky birth club, was playing golf with me and whining about being unhappy in his role as president of his father’s company. He was making a ton of money, had a prestigious job, and was unhappy. Why? Because it was handed to him; he did not earn it. Though he would tell you he worked his way up, everyone, including him, knew that his name is what put him in the job over other qualified people. 

When he asked me what he should do, I told him I had turned down a similar offer from my own father because I wanted to know I could do it for myself. I did not want success by being born into it. I suggested he quit his job and go build his own business or get a job working for someone else so he would have the pride of knowing he could do it, but he didn’t want to be without the money. Eventually he drove the business into the ground after his father passed away and ended up destitute, and he died a miserable man. The last time I spoke to him he told me, “I remember your advice and have always wished I’d had the courage to become my own man.”

Handing things to people is of no value. There is no self-worth and no pride of accomplishment tied to things unearned.

Nothing Left

We’re living in a time when people want our money, or our house, without doing the work we do for it. I’m hopeful that won’t be my own kids. Giving in to it will create generations of future entitled people until there is no one earning or working, and there will be nothing to share. Instead of accomplished people with the pride of having done something, we will have entitled people who have no self-esteem and no initiative.

Reinforcing Self-Worth

Fortunately, parenting is never over, and I have ample opportunities to reinforce the concept of self-worth, self-accomplishment, and the idea that something for nothing is of no value. Living a life of leisure, having no purpose, not bringing value for my time, is of no interest to me.

An Old Tale

The classic story is the woman or man who rises up from nothing, works their fingers to the bone, and makes a fortune so they can do nice things for their family. Then their kids get spoiled and entitled, don’t have the work ethic, and by the third generation the family money is lost. By the fourth generation they are poor again, and the cycle begins again. It’s a cycle that needs to be broken.

A Billionaire’s Kids

I don’t know if it’s true, but a friend of Warren Buffett’s son once told me Buffett made it clear that he was leaving his children no money, and if they wanted money, they needed to make it on their own. Whether it’s true or not, it’s a brilliant idea. Sink or swim. Everyone needs to earn their own pride of accomplishment.

Tough Love

The greatest gift we can give our kids is belief in them, and helping them gain the confidence that they can do things on their own, without our help. It’s OK to nudge them along and help a little when we can, but it’s tough love that will help them have the pride of independent accomplishment. Though we will have to watch them mess up and suffer, and live through difficult times, every success on earth has had to go through that. The average billionaire goes bankrupt two times before making it.

Entitlement has destroyed family fortunes, destroyed cultures and countries, and kills initiative. On the other hand, encouragement, self-belief, and the pride of accomplishment, combined with struggle, is what makes a success. 

I’ve come to understand that success has nothing to do with money. It has to do with self-discipline, freedom, and knowing if I lost everything today, I could do it all again.

Are you feeling entitled?
Are you entitling others?
Are you instilling belief, self-confidence, in others?
Are you able to provide tough love?

At the time when we are struggling the most, we would not wish it on anyone, yet the trials and the fires make us who we are. 

Yes, anyone can do anything. It’s up to us to help them build that belief and sense of accomplishment.

Eric Rhoads

“I do NOT believe we are all born equal.

“Created equal in the eyes of God, yes, but physical and emotional differences, parental guidelines, varying environments, being in the right place at the right time, all play a role in enhancing or limiting an individual’s development.

“But I DO believe every man and woman, if given the opportunity and encouragement to recognize their potential, regardless of background, has the freedom to choose in our world.

“Will an individual be a taker or a giver in life?

“Will that person be satisfied merely to exist or seek a meaningful purpose?

“Will he or she dare to dream the impossible dream?

“I believe every person is created as the steward of his or her own destiny with great power for a specific purpose, to share with others, through service, a reverence for life in a spirit of love.”

— Hugh O’Brian, The Freedom to Choose

PS: There IS pride in accomplishing great things on your own. Though there ARE self-taught artists, we can all speed our learning with the influence of others teaching us. 

Last week I got a note from a man who watches me daily (noon ET on YouTube — search StreamlineArtVideo) who said this … “I know I want to learn to paint, I know I want to grow, and I know the approximate style, but I don’t know who to pick to study under.”
I’ll tell you what I told him.

I think workshops are a great idea, and videos are a great idea, but I’ve gone to workshops where I’ve flown across the country and spent a week with someone, only to discover they were not for me. Sometimes it was their teaching style, sometimes just a chemistry problem. That’s one of the reasons I’ve created a sampler of sorts. At Realism Live, you can study different subjects like portraits, figures, still life, flowers, landscapes, and more, and get a chance to learn from a couple of dozen top instructors. Not only will you get something out of each one, you’ll be able to select the ones you want to study with more. 

The price for Realism Live goes up $100 tonight at midnight Pacific. And it’s 100% refundable if you change your mind. Plus I offer a money-back guarantee: If you don’t love it by the end of the first day, let me know and we’ll give you your money back (though we will disconnect access). Realism Live is virtual … you participate from home on your screen. 

Check it out, and remember, the price goes up today! —RealismLive.com

The scent of balsam fills my lungs as I take long, deep drawn-out breaths not just for the scent and the freshness, but for the medicinal effect on my state of mind. Adirondack pines reach their roots out to the edge of the water to drink its mineral-rich nectar, which invigorates its deep green needles to spread like open arms, welcoming us back in the Adirondack Mountains. The eerie call of the loons reminds us that they will soon congregate to make plans to fly south. Instinctively they know the cooling air and water will be their formal invitation to a winter in Florida. 

Soon, probably in a week or so, we’ll start to see the first indications of brilliant reds pop out for an early fall, with the rest of them a few weeks to follow. Rarely do we get a chance to see such brilliant fall color, when our mountain turns red and the reflections of color will dance in the water. Our forced summer returns for school have prevented our time here in this soon-to-come season of beauty. We’re looking forward to it, though deeply missing our newly appointed college students.

Hot!

Roasting in record 106-degree temperatures for the remainder of the summer did not seem like an option, so Laurie and I returned to the lake as empty-nesters. After an exhausting 10 days back in Texas to pack and prep our babies for adulthood, we made three round trips to three colleges, putting in well over 1,000 miles driving and seeing parts of Texas and Arkansas we’ve never seen. We’re adjusting to the quiet, and occasionally break into tears for no apparent reason. It’s a new season, which we dread and look forward to.

Empty!

This morning, like any other Sunday morning, it’s quiet, though the kids are not sleeping in and won’t be coming in for a late breakfast today. And it feels very empty.

A walk through the cabin is filled with mementos of times together as a family that triggers sadness, and then joy. Joy that we made it through the years of raising kids, sadness that it’s all suddenly over, and adjusting to the quiet. Suddenly there is pressure for both of us to “entertain” the other. It’s a strange place to be, an adjustment. If you’ve been there, you know. My friend Peggy told me she broke out crying at the grocery store because she only needed two chicken breasts instead of enough for the whole family. But we’ll adjust.

No Pressure!

I choose to look at this as a fresh start, a new season, a new opportunity. I realized that I was painting less because I wanted to spend time with the family when I would have been painting. And, if I want, I can apply myself more, and throw myself into my work to accomplish things I have not had time for almost two decades. Laurie feels suddenly creative again because the pressure of daily household management is gone. We’re looking forward to seeing how that is manifested.

Sometimes life throws us curveballs. I’m thankful we don’t have to adjust because of a disaster, a health issue, or worse. But in those times it also feels empty, because empty is simply the need to fill a void we have not anticipated filling. Yet as soon as it’s filled, the emptiness is reduced, never completely gone.

Choices

This new season has been a learning experience, and reinforcement that how we choose to process our new circumstances has a huge impact on how we react to them. Though empty, I’m encouraged, because I’ve convinced myself that I can’t cling to the status quo when it’s been taken away — therefore I can only adjust, or stay stuck in sadness.

I’ve had moments in my life when I’ve stayed stuck without knowing it, pining for the past that has moved on, wishing for something to go back the way it once was. I’ve wasted too much time wishing something had not changed, cried too many tears, and watered too many years. I’ve decided it’s no longer an option.

Have you been stuck?
Are you stuck now?
Are you clinging to something you wish had not changed?

Lick your wounds and make up your mind to not allow too many cobwebs to form before the next chapter begins. Take fast action because every day is precious, and being stuck, depressed, or bothered by change, isn’t healthy for too long.

We do it in lost relationships, the passing of loved ones, even in politics. Yet moving on is always the answer. Change what you can change, accept what you cannot, and take action toward the new chapter. 

Remember, our stories define us, and we can change our stories. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: I know you throw hundred-dollar bills around like they don’t matter, but I like a bargain whenever possible. The new Realism Today online art conference promises to fill your life with painting and drawing joy. Chances are you’ll want to attend, so if so, August 30 is the date the price goes up $100. Why pay more if you don’t have to? Learn more at RealismLive.com.

This week I’m announcing more superstar artists who will be part of it (you can see me live daily on YouTube and Facebook at 12 noon Eastern, including today, which is day 151). Go to either and search streamlineartvideo to find my daily live broadcast.

Fog covers the windows as I glance out at the porch. Condensation from the frigid air conditioning trying to keep up against oppressive heat has replaced the fog and cool mornings on the Adirondack lake.

Slamming my face as I walk out to the porch, the heat is like the blast of getting too close to a pizza oven, bearable for only a brief moment before my roasting occurs. Yet I make my way to the wicker couch to look out over the vast rough weeds, now brown as toast, and the twisting cedar trees, which thrive on the heat.

Briefly, I can feel the heat against my bare legs as I sit on the red cushions. It’s soothing in a way, like a heating pad on my sore muscles from being cramped inside an airplane.

A Fresh Start

Being back in Austin is comforting because it’s home, yet I always pine for my lakefront summers and wish they would never end. “Be careful what you wish for,” people would say, and today, the return home is followed by a week of driving our triplets off to three different colleges to plug them into a new life on campus, and the start of their independence from their caregivers. This is, after all, the week we’ve dreaded for 18 years, first seeming like it would never come, and then seeing it speed by too fast. 

Dread is a strong word. I’ve dreaded the empty house, the lack of chaos, the activities, the friends in and out, the birthday parties (how can we deal with birthdays at three colleges in three cities this February?), and the laugher, the lessons, the hurts, and the challenges of parenting.

The Goodness

Yet looking forward is the opposite of dread. Knowing I won’t have to wake up at 6 a.m. to make breakfast, won’t have to wait up for 11 p.m. curfews, won’t be needing to put up with as much testosterone-driven drama, and won’t have to find someone to take care of the kids if we want to slip away on an impromptu trip. 

Though I’m predicting tears, I’m also predicting celebration that we’ve accomplished our goal of raising three very fine humans and hopefully given them enough lessons to ground them for the rest of their lives. 

Looking back, I realize I’ve wasted far too much energy on dreading things in my future when I should have found a way to look forward to them, or at least be prepared to process them.

Dreading Death

As a child, and through much of my life, I dreaded the moment I’d lose my parents. I was always afraid I would lose my mom or my dad. It started when I was a child, then into my teens, young adulthood, and now even into the beginnings of my years of wisdom. (I don’t use the words “getting old” because I refuse to train my subconscious mind to respond.) I knew it would devastate me. Yet when my mom passed, it was enormously painful, but I was not disabled by my grief. Maybe it is because we had some time knowing her heart disease would eventually take her, or maybe because she lived to 93 and was not cheated out of life early, and did not suffer through years of treatments or the pain so many experience. And of course my belief in Heaven. My outlook allowed me to step back, look at the experience, and separate myself from my grief. Maybe being stoic, or toughing it out, was my way of dealing with it.

I can remember asking my dad about this years ago, when his mother or father passed, and seeing that he did not appear disabled with grief. And I can recall him telling me he had deep grief, but he was not going to let it destroy him. It’s when I realized we can have command over our emotions if we prepare ourselves.

Controlled Chaos

And, though I was deeply emotional when Brady, my son, had his heart attack last January 20, I remember thinking that I could not let that fear destroy my ability to think and make decisions, because I needed to be composed enough to help the family get through such a difficult patch. Maybe I was stoic, appearing unemotional, though I cried as well. Yet once I looked at myself, I was able to flick a switch to get through it without being disabled emotionally.

Maybe a therapist would tell me I was in denial or I was not in touch with my emotions, but I would say I was very much in touch with them and chose to not allow them to prevent me from making adult decisions. And though I was clearly under a dark cloud, I did not allow the rain.

What do you dread? 
How will you choose to deal with that dread?

I’ve had a lot of time to process what’s about to happen, and I would not miss it for the world. Passing the baton to our kids, giving them a new education and independence, is something I cherish. Though we will be sad with their absence, and will miss their being with us in person, they are a text away and in good hands. We have to turn this over to God because we can no longer control their every move.

Train the Brain

Though our minds control our physiology, we control our minds by training ourselves to look at things through a different lens and, when possible, reprocessing our thoughts to work for us rather than against us. Now the key, at least for me, is to ask myself WHY I dread something, and is there a way I can instead find a way to filter things to look forward to them?

My friend Stewart Slocknick did this with the news of his terminal cancer. Though he dreaded the idea of treatments, he told me he looked forward to getting beyond them and did not want to delay. He taught me how one dies with dignity and hope.

We cannot get back the hours we’ve lost to fretting, worry, and dread. All we can do is make adjustments to our filters for future events. It takes some getting used to, but now that I understand it, it sure makes tough patches a lot easier.

Fear not.
Dread not.

Eric Rhoads

PS: This week on my noon ET daily “broadcast” on YouTube and Facebook, I got into a discussion with an artist about the idea of natural talent versus learned skill. Our conclusion was that natural talent is more a result of tenacity and perseverance (working harder) than others, which makes us accomplish difficult tasks earlier than most, which is then perceived as natural talent. 

I find it fascinating that we think brain surgeons, lawyers, professionals of all kinds, need years of training — yet for some reason, we think artists are born with talent. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

If you happen to be one of those people who has stared at a painting or a drawing and always told yourself that you don’t have it in you, you’re telling yourself a lie. You have it in you, but you have to develop it and put in the time and instruction to bring it out. Painting as a hobby will bring a lifetime of joy and loads of emotional benefits. All you need to do is take action and apply yourself, just as you do in every other area of your life where you gain traction.

I’ve got a rare opportunity, worth taking some time off for … or at least allocating time to watch replays nights or weekends. It’s called Realism Live, and I’ve been gathering the top, cream-of-the-crop artists to teach for four days online. Plus there is a day for beginners with absolutely no knowledge or skill where we’ll hold your hand and teach you enough that you’ll feel like you made enough progress to continue your journey.

I can’t make you take action. Only you can do that. But I can point out that your mind is playing tricks on you if you think you can’t draw a stick figure. It’s true, you can’t — until we show you how. And keep showing you simple exercises to make the impossible possible to you.

You can come up with more excuses, but when are you going to have a chance like this? Plus you’ll be part of a community, you’ll have support and encouragement, and we’ll expose you to concepts that will change your life forever … because you’ll be taking the first steps to being an artist. Don’t tell yourself it’s not possible. Instead, be curious, and tell yourself it’s worth a try. You have nothing to lose … especially because if you attend Realism Live and, after the end of day one, you don’t think it brings you enough value, let us know. We’ll refund your money and disconnect you from the rest of the event. 

I encourage you to take this rare opportunity to join the world for this first online realism conference. Realism … teaching you how to paint real subjects (not abstract) like landscapes, people, faces, still life, flowers, and more. 

Sign up for only the Beginner’s Day for just $97, or the whole week for a little more. It’s still cheaper than getting on an airplane, buying a ticket to an event, and spending on meals and hotels. 

Early bird savings of $100 expires August 30. The price then increases $100 more. Sign up today at RealismLive.com.

My mind flashed to a scene in The Hobbit as I looked across the glassy lake, not a ripple in sight. The reflections of the tall, dark pines are perfectly in focus in the still water, and a layer of thick fog at the shoreline is making the lake and the trees blend together as though airbrushed. 

The bright golden morning sun is blinding me as it reflects off the lake, and, like clockwork, the fog is burning off before my eyes. 

There is a chill in the air leftover from the passing hurricane, which brought rain and a cold front. I can feel the goosebumps on my exposed legs as my warm red-checked flannel shirt cuddles my core and the hot coffee dribbles warmly into my system like water in a radiator.

Summer’s End

Every year for the last 18 years, August signals our last week or two here, knowing we are beholden to the schedules of schools back in Texas. With the idea of leaving come the thoughts of all the things I intended to do this summer but never got around to, the sadness of departing our favorite place on earth, and the end of something we look forward to each year. Though this year, we’ll return, once three colleges are visited and our kids planted for their next chapter. 

New Feelings

Laurie and I are experiencing anxiety we’ve never felt before, the idea that the little birds we nested are about to fly south to their own lives. I left at 17, never to live with my parents again. I tried to be independent and self-supporting, and I wish that for my kids as the way things should be. It’s still a medicine I hate taking, though I know it’s the right prescription. 

Training

My wife and I have spent almost two decades getting these kids ready for this moment, and the hardest thing to communicate is the need to think for themselves, to use their brains, to not believe everything they hear or everything their friends are saying, and to not succumb to peer pressure.

It made me pause and wonder … am I following my own advice?

Am I able to be objective? 

The last four months have taught us that what we expect in life is no longer a guarantee. That freedom isn’t guaranteed, though we’ve been told our entire lives that we are free. Even toilet paper isn’t guaranteed.

It has helped us not to take things for granted, and yet our minds have changed about things we never imagined we would be willing to do.

Cowards

Behavior has changed. People are seeing things come out in themselves they never would have guessed were there. Just doom scroll through social media and you’ll find people attacking people because they are mask-free. Social media has become a breeding ground for cowards who destroy people with vitriol, saying things they would never say to someone’s face. 

COVID times are challenging our previous standards. 

I’ve always been told it’s easy to treat people civilly as long as things are going well, but the real you comes out when you’re fighting for your survival.

What about you? How have you changed?

I’ve had to bite my tongue a couple of times when I’ve felt the need to speak up about someone not following “the rules.” But then I remember that I’ve not walked in their shoes, I don’t know their circumstances, maybe they are doing their best.

But can we find a way to remember that? 

Can we stop being critical because of our fear? Can we still allow a little grace?

Trusted Neighbors

My ex-mother-in-law, who lived in Germany during World War II, once told me that you really learn about your neighbors in the midst of tragedy. Some will step up and help, others will be selfish, others will turn on you or turn you in for a piece of bread. She once said, “You want to live in a place where you know the character of the community, because if things ever get bad again, you want to know you can rely on your neighbors.”

But how many of us even know our neighbors anymore? 

How many know we can trust our neighbors with our lives if we need their help? How many would share what little they have to help everyone survive? How would we respond if they need us?

I’d like to think I would respond well, but I won’t know until I face those moments. Hopefully we never will.

What we’re going through at this moment in time is hard. People are struggling, people are out of work, suicide rates are climbing, and yet, as I’ve said before, at least there aren’t bombs dropping on us or explosions destroying our cities. (My prayers go out to the people of Lebanon.) 

Yes, circumstances awaken us. Sometimes our minds change when we’re shocked into changing them.

You and I will look back on this date a year from now and realize how much has changed.

Our society will change, our belief systems will be tested, our civility will be challenged, the ways we work, learn, travel, communicate, and celebrate will change, and we will change our minds about things we never believed we would.

Adapting to change is the most important survival skill. 

Are you ready?

Ready or not, change is upon us. Try to keep an open mind. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: Airplane seats and hotel rooms are no longer my weekly routine, and I’m thrilled about it. Never again do I want to spend that level of intensity “on the road,” and I may even end up doing fewer events because of it.

Change was brought on my business without even asking my permission. We don’t always get a say in things. Yet adapting to change is our only chance of survival.

I’m hopeful our virtual art convention that teaches realism — in painting and drawing the portrait, the figure, the landscape, flowers, still life, and more — will help us recover. More importantly, it will help you learn art (we have a Beginner’s Day), help you get to the next level, and expose you to some of the best artists teaching in the world. It will open your eyes and change your mind about a lot of things … especially your confidence in your own ability to paint or draw.

I hope you’ll join us October 20 for Realism Live Beginner’s Day, and October 21-24 for the Realism Live virtual convention. The reviews for our last convention confirmed that people made friends, felt the sense of community, and learned volumes. And if you can’t make the date, replays are available to all who sign up (but not to those who don’t). The price is increasing on August 30.

Sign up at RealismLive.com.