Imagine waking up to nature’s own aquatic circus. As I write this, dolphins are pirouetting through crystal waters, their playful squeaks harmonizing with the gentle swish of palm fronds overhead. The sun — a blazing orb of amber and rose — is painting the horizon in colors that would make even Van Gogh jealous. This is Florida in December, our reward after a cross-country odyssey from Texas with our four-legged navigation team.

Last night we arrived under cover of darkness, like treasure hunters seeking the Promised Land. The fridge might be as empty as a politician’s promise, but somehow I’ve managed to conjure up coffee and road trip leftovers. The grocery store beckons, but it can wait until after church. Some mornings are too perfect to rush.

Life as a Pinball: Confessions of a Derailed Goal Setter

Let me tell you about 2024. Imagine being the silver ball in the world’s most chaotic pinball machine. Flippers of fate sent me ricocheting in every direction, and I found the gutter more times than a bowling ball thrown by a toddler. Here’s the deliciously embarrassing part: I, the supposed guru of goal-setting, completely dropped the ball on my own planning. It’s like being a dentist with cavity-riddled teeth, or a personal trainer who considers pizza a food group.

But here’s the raw truth — every single time I’ve failed to set my goals, my year turned out about as organized as a tornado in a paper factory. You can’t score points when you don’t even know where the targets are.

The Three Golden Windows of Opportunity

Now, let me share something crucial about timing. There are three perfect moments to map out your year, like three secret portals to success:

1. Fall: The overachiever’s sweet spot, when you can lay your tracks before the train even arrives. This is when the smart money places their bets and sets up their dominos.
2. November: Still ahead of the game, like showing up early to a party — you get the good parking spots and first crack at the appetizers.
3. December/Early January: The Last Chance Saloon. Still totally valid, but you’re cutting it closer than a hedge trimmer on espresso.

The benefits of goal-setting used to be a theory, but there is substantial evidence that goal-setting, mindset, and attitude make a massive difference in living your dreams.
What you should know to make this and every year better.

1. People who set goals are more likely to succeed. Don’t believe it? Locke and Latham’s studies over 35 years, analyzing over 400 studies, found that specific and challenging goals led to higher performance 90% of the time compared to vague “do your best” goals or no goals at all. Seventy studies found an average improvement in performance of 10%-25% when using specific, challenging goals versus “do your best” or no goals. And in 2015 research showed that people who wrote down their goals were 42% more likely to achieve them than those who didn’t. A Harvard Business School study tracked MBA graduates and found that 10 years later, the 13% who had written goals earned twice as much as the 84% who had no specific goals. 
2. People who share their goals with others increase their chances of success. Dominican University discovered that people who wrote down their goals, shared them with others, and provided weekly progress updates were 76% more likely to achieve them compared to those who merely thought about their goals. It’s harder to back out and not accomplish something once you announce it. That’s why I always announce my big initiatives before I actually do them. 
3. People who look at their goals weekly stand a higher chance of achieving them because the goals stay top of mind. Meanwhile, most of us set resolutions or goals, never look at them, then forget them. That’s exactly why my 2024 was not as good as it should have been. 
4. When you stretch yourself and make yourself uncomfortable, you’re more likely to experience growth, because growth comes from discomfort and pain, not doing the same things repeatedly and hoping things will improve.  
5. If you see yourself where you want to be, you are more likely to become what you think you are. Instead of saying, “I’m gonna be,” say, “I am.” It will fool your brain and begin manifesting outcomes to make it happen. Scientific research strongly supports the power of present-tense affirmations and visualization in achieving goals. Neuroscience studies using fMRI scans have shown that visualizing an action activates many of the same neural pathways as physically performing it, with Harvard Medical School research demonstrating that mental practice alone can increase muscle strength by 13.5%. Dr. Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset and Dr. Richard Wiseman’s research on the “As If” Principle confirm that people who believe in their current ability to develop skills and act “as if” they are already successful are significantly more likely to achieve their goals. This works through a combination of neural pathway development and activation of the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), which helps us notice opportunities aligned with our self-image, creating a powerful self-fulfilling cycle where our beliefs shape our actions and outcomes.

Scientific research from several disciplines validates this concept. A 2013 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that when people labeled themselves as “being” something (e.g., “I am a healthy eater”) versus “becoming” something (“I want to be a healthy eater”), they were significantly more likely to make choices that reinforced that identity. Additionally, neuroscience research using EEG measurements has shown that when people use present-tense self-talk, it activates the left prefrontal cortex — an area associated with motivation and goal-directed behavior — more strongly than future-tense statements. This aligns with studies in sports psychology where athletes who visualized themselves as already possessing target skills showed measurable performance improvements, with one notable study at the University of Chicago demonstrating up to 24% better performance among athletes who practiced present-tense visualization versus those focusing on future goals.

Those five things will make more difference in living your dream life than anything else you can do. Hard work alone isn’t enough. But on top of manifestation and goals, it’s critical to manage your attitude. Here’s why:

People who are naturally negative live shorter lives and get sicker more often.
Research consistently shows that negative thinking and pessimism correlate with poorer health outcomes and shorter lifespans. Multiple large-scale studies, including the Finnish Kuopio Study and the Women’s Health Initiative, have found that pessimistic people face significantly higher risks of cardiovascular disease, cancer, and premature death. For example, pessimistic men showed twice the risk of cardiovascular death, while negative women had a 30% higher risk of coronary heart disease. Studies at the University of Kentucky demonstrated that negative emotions can suppress immune system function, leading to increased susceptibility to illness and slower healing

Research consistently shows that optimistic people not only experience greater happiness, they also tend to enjoy better physical health outcomes. Positive thinkers have stronger immune systems, lower rates of cardiovascular disease, and greater resilience against stress. Their optimistic outlook often leads them to make healthier lifestyle choices, like maintaining regular exercise routines and following balanced diets, as they believe their actions will yield positive results. Moreover, when faced with health challenges, positive thinkers typically cope more effectively, following treatment plans more diligently and recovering more quickly from illnesses and injuries. Their social connections also tend to be stronger, as their upbeat attitude draws others to them, creating supportive networks that further enhance both their mental and physical well-being. Even in difficult circumstances, their ability to find silver linings and maintain hope helps them navigate challenges with greater emotional resilience, leading to lower rates of anxiety and depression.

My Negative Friend Chris

One of my closest friends was one of the most negative people I’ve ever met. To this day I’m not sure why I liked spending time with him, but I guess it was rooted in having worked together and having good times when we were much younger. One day I lectured him about the power of a positive mindset, and he in turn lectured me about how that was all nonsense and “of course I can say that because I’ve lived a charmed life and had opportunity handed to me.” There is some truth to that, but his negativity often resulted in him losing jobs (no one wants to hear it) and eventually dying a horrific early death. Somehow I think he felt better being negative. It turns out that studies have shown that verbal aggression can trigger the release of dopamine and other neurochemicals that create a reward response in the brain. 

What to do next?

Last week I mentioned advice given by the father of my high school girlfriend. He took me aside one day and told me that I was one of the most negative people he had ever met, and that if I did not change that, I’d live an unhappy life and probably die young. It turns out my girlfriend put him up to it. He taught me how to rethink how I think. And instead of resisting his advice, I changed. It wasn’t easy because my natural response was to go negative. After decades, it’s still my natural response, yet I force myself to turn my head around. 

Tony Robbins talks about how the “reptilian brain,” our subconscious, is designed to protect us from wild animals, always looking for problems so we can escape them. He says we have to be aware that it’s there, ignore it, and turn on a different mindset. (I highly recommend a trip to one of his events.)

So if you’re being negative, or if you’re not goal-oriented, or if you’re spending your time wondering why you’re not achieving what you want, maybe it’s time to rethink how you’re thinking. It worked for me, and it will work for you.

Eric Rhoads

The twinkling of Christmas lights stretches for miles across the Texas landscape as dawn breaks outside my window. Inside our cozy home, the scent of pine needles and a roaring fire mingles with my morning coffee while I cuddle up under a thick blanket, fending off the unusual chill in the air that makes it feel more like Christmas than our typical Texas weather.

A Christmas Request

A few weeks ago, my college-age son approached us with an exciting proposition: joining his four best friends on a pre-Christmas adventure to Brazil. They planned to hike, surf, sail, and immerse themselves in the local culture. Of course, they hoped we’d contribute to their expedition. After careful consideration, we agreed it would create wonderful memories — with one crucial condition. He had to be home before Christmas. As seasoned travelers ourselves, we knew how easily holiday reunions could be derailed by flight delays, so we requested he return two days early, just in case.

Wishing Things Would Never Change

As our children grow, mature, and begin falling in love, we’re acutely aware that our time together as just our family unit of five — without spouses or partners — is finite. While relationships are blossoming, this Christmas remains boyfriend- and girlfriend-free. Though we eagerly anticipate welcoming new members into our family someday, we cherish what might be our last Christmas as our original quintet.

Moments Remembered

My son’s travel request transported me back to my first European adventure, at 19. With two weeks of pure joy coming to an end, I couldn’t bear to leave. I called my boss requesting three extra days, only to be met with an ultimatum: “NO! And if you’re not back on time, you’re fired!” His reaction blindsided me, and honestly, it made me furious — those three days seemed so inconsequential. But I dutifully returned.

Perhaps it was this memory that sparked my intuition: My son would fall in love with Brazil and want to extend his stay. Sure enough, the text arrived. His friends’ parents had agreed to the extension, and he wanted to stay.

How Can We Say No?

Now we face our own dilemma. Do we prioritize our desire for family unity at Christmas, or do we let him follow his wanderlust? His decision remains uncertain until tomorrow. But he’s an adult now, and he needs to make his choices without the weight of parental guilt. Having stood in his shoes, I suspect the allure of Brazil will outshine another Christmas at home. If this proves to be our last Christmas as our original family unit, I’ll be disappointed — but I’ll adapt.

Yet a darker thought intrudes: What if this is our last Christmas together, period? What if it’s the last for one of his siblings? Would we regret our decision?

Unexpected Change

The question of how many Christmases we have left together haunts me. When my father passed away three years ago, everything changed. Decades of Christmas celebrations with my parents and extended family ended with his departure. Now my brothers and their families have created their own traditions. What will happen when we’re gone?

The realization that we have a finite number of Christmases ahead is sobering. As we age, we understand just how precious these shared holiday moments become. This makes the possibility of my son’s absence even more poignant.

If you knew this was your last Christmas with your family, what would you do differently? 

What would you plan? 

What words would you make sure to say? 

What legacy would you want to cement?

My parents and grandparents lived into their mid-90s, seeming eternal, until they weren’t. I’m profoundly grateful for their dedication to keeping our family connected and traditions alive. I can still taste the joy of licking the icing bowl while making Christmas cookies with my grandmother. I remember sitting on the stairs at her house, reading the Christmas story from the Bible before opening presents — a tradition we’ve passed on to our children. I cherish the memory of setting a place at the dinner table for baby Jesus to keep Christmas centered on its true meaning, and decorating the tree with precious heirloom ornaments that grew more meaningful with each passing year.

While we hope for long lives together, this Christmas deserves special attention. Treat every person you love as if it’s your last holiday season together. You’ll appreciate both them and the moment more deeply.

May you have a blessed Christmas.

Eric Rhoads

There comes a time when the question of legacy weighs heavy on our minds. Perhaps it’s triggered by a milestone birthday or simply the growing awareness of our mortality — that silent companion that makes us wonder what traces we’ll leave behind when we’re gone.

But what are the odds of truly being remembered? Even the brightest stars fade from collective memory. Consider how time has swept away countless authors, performers, and pioneers who once commanded the world’s attention. Yes, a rare few — the Shakespeares, the Einsteins, the Monets — have transcended their eras to become eternal fixtures in human consciousness. Yet mention Johnny Carson to today’s youth and you’ll receive blank stares, despite his decades of cultural dominance. Even most U.S. presidents are not remembered.

The Ego Dance

Still, my ego persists in this peculiar dance, urging me to carve something permanent into the bedrock of history. Why this relentless drive? Even now, the achievements that once defined me remain unknown to my own children, and most of what I’ve accomplished will likely drift into the mist of forgotten things, preserved only in the memories of those closest to me.

Perhaps the real question isn’t how to be remembered, but why we’re so haunted by the fear of being forgotten. What if our true legacy isn’t measured in plaques and history books, but in the quiet ripples we send through the lives we touch?

Finding My Legacy

I’ve considered a bevy of legacy projects — more books, shows of my artwork, exhibitions of portraits painted of me — but nothing will significantly improve the chances of being remembered. So maybe the key is to stop fretting about being remembered and instead focus on the short term. How will I impact and change the lives of those around me?

Big Impression from an Unknown Man

The father of my high school girlfriend will never be remembered by anyone but his family. He did nothing earth-shattering. Yet his impact on my life, with his advice to me, has carried me through decades. He made a legacy in my heart. His thoughtfulness, his willingness to take a chance and share some of what he was seeing, make him stand out as one of the heroes in my life. So much so that I dedicated a book to him. He carved an impression on my heart that is profoundly important to me.

A man I once coached briefly at a party told me 10 years later that I had given him the courage to build his company, which became a significant venture. I didn’t even remember what I’d said.

How many hearts have you and I left an impression on? How many people have we touched so that our legacy stays with them?

Generational Teaching

My grandmother implanted her legacy by teaching me the Bible and leading me to Christ. I never thought to ask her who taught her. Probably her father, my great-grandfather, who was a preacher who planted multiple churches. But who taught him? His mother or father, or a friend? Where did the teaching originate? In theory, it could be traced back to the stories in the Bible from the original authors.

Beat It

A legacy does not have to have your name attached to it. If your ideas, your advice, your teachings live on, then you’ve done well — if those things have been valuable. But what about the man who beats his children because his father beat him, because his grandfather beat him, because his great-grandfather beat his son? Sometimes we have to break the legacies of our past. They say the sins of the father carry on for seven generations.

For some, life just happens. Their life is a reaction. For others, life has a plan and a purpose. I have people in my life who were intentional about the lessons they shared with me. Yet I’m more spontaneous and hope that my kids will get the same benefit I received. (I’m guessing I need to be more intentional.)

My Internal Struggle

It’s unknown to me why fame has always been a seductress. Her lure drove me into radio, and I still struggle with the desire for fame and attention. I’m sure it’s rooted in some insecurity hidden deep within my psyche, yet I don’t understand it, and frankly, it’s kind of annoying to be craving attention everywhere.

Fleeting Moments

As I reflect on the nature of legacy and our desire to be remembered, I’ve come to realize that true impact often lies in the small, seemingly insignificant moments we share with others. The advice that changes a life, the kindness that inspires hope, the lessons that shape character — these are the building blocks of a meaningful legacy.

Fame and widespread recognition may be fleeting, but the positive influence we have on individuals can ripple through generations, often in ways we’ll never fully comprehend. Our true legacy isn’t measured by how many people know our name, but by how many lives we’ve touched and improved.

What can you do to fuel that legacy?

• Focus on quality interactions: Strive to make each interaction with others meaningful. You never know when a simple conversation or act of kindness might profoundly impact someone’s life.
• Be intentional: While spontaneity has its charm, being intentional about sharing wisdom, kindness, and support can create lasting positive effects on those around you.
• Break negative cycles: If you’ve inherited harmful patterns or behaviors, make a conscious effort to break them. Your legacy can be one of positive change and growth.
• Teach and mentor: Share your knowledge and experiences with others, especially the younger generation. This is how valuable lessons and wisdom persist through time. We have brilliant artists today because great artists passed their legacy of technique on through generations.
• Embrace your unique impact: Remember that you don’t need to be famous or widely known to make a difference. Your sphere of influence, no matter how small, is significant.
• Live with purpose: Instead of chasing fame or recognition, focus on living a life aligned with your values and goals. This authenticity will naturally lead to meaningful connections and impact.
• Cultivate gratitude: Regularly acknowledge those who have positively influenced your life. This practice not only honors their legacy, it makes you more aware of your own potential impact on others.

In the end, the most enduring legacies are often invisible to the naked eye but felt deeply in the hearts of those whose lives we’ve touched. By shifting our focus from being remembered to making a difference, we can create a legacy that truly matters — one of love, wisdom, and positive change that ripples through time, touching lives in ways we may never fully know.

Eric Rhoads

It’s as dark as a shadow’s whisper and silent as the space between heartbeats. The sun isn’t even thinking about peeking its bright head over the distant mountain. No birds are tweeting; they won’t awaken for at least another hour. The world holds its breath in these last moments of night, when even the wind seems to have tucked itself away to sleep. The darkness wraps around everything like a thick velvet cloak, making familiar shapes into mysterious silhouettes that stand guard over the sleeping earth.

Getting ZZZZs
The dogs are still snoring peacefully, their breath echoing from all the way across the house. Carefully and quietly in my stocking feet, I tiptoe cautiously through the kitchen, avoiding the coffeemaker so I don’t wake the dogs and my wife. Silently I slip out, suitcase in hand, headed for the airport. The keys jingle softly in my pocket — a sound that suddenly seems as loud as church bells clanging in this pre-dawn stillness. Each creak of the back door’s hinges feels like it could shatter the delicate quiet, but somehow the peaceful breathing from the bedroom remains unbroken.

Sneaking Out

The morning dew has already settled on my car, its droplets barely visible because I don’t dare flick a switch to turn on the lights. The bitter cold bites away at my warm face, shocking my system into full alertness more effectively than any cup of coffee. My breath forms ghostly clouds in the darkness, dissipating into the still air like secrets. The car door’s click seems to echo across the neighborhood as I ease it shut, wincing at even this small intrusion into the pre-dawn silence. I say a silent goodbye to the darkened windows of home, where my wife sleeps on, unaware of my departure into this suspended moment between night and day. 

Headlights are bright and the road is empty as if no one on earth has a reason to be out on a Sunday before dawn. But my arrival at the airport tells a different story … one of frenetic drama and security lines that twist and turn like an ancient serpent. Reality sets in as I bump my way through the crowds of sleepy people who are less alert than they should be.

The Flight to See the Back of My Eyelids

Thrilled, as I arrive at my seat, to find I have a row to myself, I immediately drift off to sleep. Am I dreaming all this? Then a jolt awake, realizing I’ve got to send you this note. I pull out my tablet, ticking away while everyone snores around me. Is it possible to upload Sunday Coffee on the plane’s spotty internet? If you receive this, you’ll know. I won’t know till I arrive at my destination sometime in the next two hours. 

Old Friends

Upon arrival, I’ll visit the home of a dear old friend I worked with when we were both under 20. It’s a chance to relive old war stories of our days on the radio before I depart for a week of company meetings in Raleigh, NC. 

Why is it that someone sticks? Someone I worked with for less than two years has been in my life for decades, and seeing him is always a joy. I’ve come in early and gone out of my way to make sure we connect on a rare visit to his city.

Baskets of people from the years of my life are not on my list of people I want to stay in touch with. Yet a very few others are precious to me for some reason. What differentiates them?

Good Times

If I were forced to articulate it, my answer would default to great memories and high integrity and people who truly care. I have had lots of great times with low-integrity people as well, but at some point I had to stop showing up in their lives because they brought out the worst in me. Maturity helped me make the realization that though I loved some people, being around them was toxic, and in some cases, downright dangerous. 

DIVORCE

Have you ever had to divorce a friend? I’ve never made it an issue, never approached them and said, “We can’t be friends anymore.” Why go to that trouble — why create concern or drama? Over the decades people have drifted in and out of my life, and, noticing this, I just drifted a little sooner, quietly in the background, with an occasional Christmas card. 

If there were a test of whether someone is to stay in my life I’d ask these questions…

Do they care about me, or do they only care about themselves? I’ve discovered that in most conversations, few ever ask about me; they only talk about themselves. I’m OK with that. Sometimes people need to feel special and be appreciated. But if everything is always about them, and if they are not exhibiting some form of caring, or are never interested in what’s going on in my life, I’m reconsidering how much I’ll invest in that relationship. 

Are they kind or abusive? Everyone has bad days, but when every encounter is filled with negativity and drama, I’m not going out of my way to spend time with them. Kind people get more attention.

Are they stuck in the same place? I’ve had lifelong friends who are always pushing the limits, exploring new ideas, and others who got stuck at some point of their lives and have not grown. For some, being the high school quarterback was the highlight of their life. I love touching base with old friends, but I’ll spend more time with people who are interesting and growing.

Do they invest in the relationship? How often do you hear from them? How often do they hear from you? What else are they doing to keep the relationship alive? Or do they only call when they need something?

Do they pass the “last month” test? If you were given one month to live and an unlimited budget to spend on time with others, who would be on that list? I know tons of people, I love most of them, but at the end of it all, other than family, there are few I’ll want to spend that last valuable time with. Are they someone you’ll regret not seeing?

Maturity has a wonderful way of defining how we spend our time and who we’re willing to spend it with. I used to feel obligated to spend time with people I thought were my friends, but when I realized that they were not really a good fit, I had to let them go. Time is precious.

What about you? Do you need to trim any branches of deadwood off your friendship tree so you get the best fruit from the healthiest branches?

Eric Rhoads

PS: We’re putting a basket in the center of our Thanksgiving table. Every phone goes into the basket and does not come out during dinner, and ideally, not for hours after. We want people engaged with one another, forcing them to interact, play games, or do something other than looking at social media. Let’s all seek ways to engage more, and find common ground.

PS2: I decided to create a day to help artists (painters, photographers, crafters) with their 2025 planning and to give them the core skills needed to have a great 2025. I announced it, and hundreds have already signed up. HOLD THE DATE, January 10, all day. You can learn more about it at www.streamlineartevents.com/marketing.

PS3: Retreat update: My February WINTER ESCAPE art retreat in St. Augustine is about 52% sold out already. I’m guessing it will sell out between now and Christmas. https://winterartescape.com/

My Adirondack spring retreat in early June is almost sold out. Still a few seats left. www.paintadirondacks.com

My fall retreat has only 22 seats left. This year it’s in Dore County, Wisconsin (which is stunningly beautiful). www.fallcolorweek.com

PS4: Like most, we have a Black Friday sale for the videos we’ve produced. Check it out at www.painttube.tv. 

You can receive these letters every week. Subscribe here. It’s my gift to you.

It’s quiet and peaceful around the house. One of our kids is home from college; the others will show up by Thanksgiving day. And soon, the house will be filled with cheer and laughter as the holidays begin and visitors begin to arrive from other places. It will be one giant slumber party. And then the house will be quiet again, one week from today.

Thanksgiving Fits

As a child, Thanksgiving and Christmas were my two favorite holidays. I loved them because it was a gathering of family, time to run around like crazy with my cousins, time to see people we only saw at holidays.

But some Thanksgivings stand out as overly dramatic … like the time something upset me and I hurled my plate of food across the room out of anger. I remember my aunt saying, “That kid is spoiled and needs to be punished.” She was right. I had a bad temper as a child. 

Most disagreements were about which football game to watch or which team to root for. If there was political discord, I don’t remember much of it. But this Thanksgiving may be different. 

Wounded

This year, there are a lot of hurt feelings and wounded people who did not get their way in the election, feeling as though anyone who voted for the President-elect must be out of their minds. Of course those who did vote for him were feeling the same way about his opponent’s supporters. This is probably what it was like during the Civil War. Families became divided and Thanksgiving dinners became unbearably difficult.

Some families will gather and celebrate their win together, with everyone in agreement, but most families will have some members who are in disagreement.

Disagreement is healthy. Discussion is healthy. But as a nation, we’ve become so deeply divided, more than I can remember in my lifetime. 

Will you allow it to divide your family?

We’re all responsible adults, and we have all made up our minds based on what we believe is best for our country. Some may be critical of where you got your news, and wonder whether the full story was told, but we each have choices to listen to or read the sources we trust. And though a friendly, spirited debate can be fun, it is unlikely anything you say will change the minds of others. Most of us stay stuck on our decisions.

Family is the most important asset any of us have. Even though you may only connect with crazy Uncle Harry or insane Aunt Martha or only see your wayward brothers or sisters once a year, we should embrace our time together. Our parents or grandparents would want it, and to me there is nothing more precious than when I have all my kids at home on the holidays. And if I can see cousins, aunts, uncles, and close friends, it’s a bonus.

Who will you be this Thanksgiving?

Will you take the high road, and instead of rubbing salt in tender open wounds, be respectful and avoid bringing it up? 

Will you choose to be mean or vicious or get even? Or will you embrace family for the sake of family? Siblings don’t always need to fight.

Consider taking the high road. Maybe avoidance of certain topics is the best way to keep the waters calm. Instead, plan some fun things like games. Maybe pull out old family pictures to reinforce the things you used to have in common.

Holidays are about creating memories, preferably good ones. Not memories of people blowing up and storming out.

If you’re disappointed in the outcome of the election, ask yourself if your family members treated you badly when your team was in control for the past cycle. Were they treating you with respect even though they were disappointed? Will you do the same this time?

It starts with treating others the way you want to be treated.

We never know what lies ahead. With talk of WW III,  family members present this Thanksgiving may not be with us again. And we can never predict who will survive another year. Don’t look back wishing you had connected on a deeper level or regretting that you battled instead of being loving.

Remember, Love conquers all. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: We’re putting a basket in the center of our Thanksgiving table. Every phone goes into the basket and does not come out during dinner, and ideally, not for hours after. We want people engaged with one another, forcing them to interact, play games, or do something other than looking at social media. Let’s all seek ways to engage more, and find common ground.

PS2: I decided to create a day to help artists (painters, photographers, crafters) with their 2025 planning and to give them the core skills needed to have a great 2025. I announced it, and hundreds have already signed up. HOLD THE DATE, January 10, all day. You can learn more about it at www.streamlineartevents.com/marketing.

PS3: Retreat update: My February WINTER ESCAPE art retreat in St. Augustine is about 52% sold out already. I’m guessing it will sell out between now and Christmas. https://winterartescape.com/

My Adirondack spring retreat in early June is almost sold out. Still a few seats left. www.paintadirondacks.com

My fall retreat has only 22 seats left. This year it’s in Dore County, Wisconsin (which is stunningly beautiful). www.fallcolorweek.com

PS4: Like most, we have a Black Friday sale for the videos we’ve produced. Check it out at www.painttube.tv. 

You can receive these letters every week. Subscribe here. It’s my gift to you.

A slight chill is in the humid Texas air. My eyes are squinting as the warm yellow sun pops up over the distant purple hill, turning it more pink. Light is splashing everything, and the air is starting to warm up a bit as I sit here on my old wicker couch on the back porch.

Playing Coach

One of the most fun things I get to do is coach younger people who want to become successful. I love sharing any wisdom I may have accumulated — acquired through decades of work, decades of mistakes, and decades of pain.

Instant Success

Living in a fast-paced Instagram-and-SnapChat world, all the gurus are online sharing 90-second sound bites of wisdom and selling success courses. It’s really no different than when I first craved success; only the delivery method is different. I listened to tons of cassettes, and later CDs, learning from the hot gurus at the time. Of course I’ve attended dozens, maybe hundreds, of seminars, classes, and events in my career. In fact, I was at the first, or one of the first, Tony Robbins events in Fort Lauderdale when he first launched his career, and at another event he held so small, there were only 30 of us in the room. He of course has led a charge to train millions, and his content has evolved and is better than ever. 

Every guru has something great to offer, and I always encourage young people to pick some that resonate with them and double down to buy everything their preferred experts offer, attend everything they can, and formulate their own ideas for what fits their personality. An education is a great value at any cost.

Rarely Spoken

There are some things I rarely hear success gurus talk about, yet they are just as important as anything they have to offer, if not more. If I were to try and sell or market these things, they’re not sexy enough, yet they are just as powerful when combined with the tools and ideas being taught by others.

Success Takes Many Forms

Success isn’t all about business, it’s about living a successful, exciting, and rich life. Business or financial success is only a small piece of it, and it’s overrated if it interferes with your having a rich life in other ways. If you’re miserable operating your business or job, working so hard that you don’t have a life outside it, being so obsessed that it kills your relationships, then you’re not a success. Success is about balance in all parts of your life. Business or work or finance is only a fraction. What about family success, spiritual success, marriage or relationship success, health success, mental success, hobby success? If you lost your job or took away your business, what would you have left?

Competitive Success

Someone once asked me about my competitors and why I tend to do so much better than they do. It made me pause and explore the deep crevices of my mind. After all, every time I turn around, someone is taking something we’ve developed and launching their own version with the intent of building their own business. I can’t blame them, but they are going about it all wrong. I’ll share how they can crush me. (By the way, we honor our competitors — there is room for us all, and they too do good things.)

Start Here

I once met a wise man who had spent his life in advertising, handling some giant accounts. When I’m around wise people, my curiosity takes over and I try to glean as much as possible from their decades of wisdom. He reinforced something worth repeating. “Make sure your product is the finest in the market, so good that it’s difficult for others to even come close when they copy you. So good that it solves a giant problem for the user. It has to be exceptional. And ideally, you have something no one else has, and when they copy you, you have something else ready that’s even better and more unique.” 

This is a killer business principle, often overlooked. But it really applies to success in life. What can you do to be the best friend for others, someone who steps up and is exceptional to help the people around you? What can you do that goes above and beyond? How can you be the best mom, the best son or daughter, the best brother, the best friend? How can you be more exceptional and give them what they need more than others?

But that’s only a small piece of the puzzle. Almost anyone can figure that out. But is there one most important thing..

As I ponder my successes and failures, I’ve discovered success is the opposite of what most people will tell you. A mentor of mine once said, “The key to making money is to not be emotional about what you’re selling,” yet I think the opposite is true for me. I am emotional. I’ve always told my team that we do what we love, we never pick anything we don’t love. As a young man I was passionate about radio, so I ended up founding a radio industry trade magazine (which I still own). I had a chance to add other magazines to build my business, which would have been practical,  but I resisted. I did not want to do magazines about auto parts or dentistry, because I did not care. I believe people can tell when you’re in it for the money versus being in it for passion. Plus, why spend your life doing something you don’t love? That can feel more like prostitution. Life is too short to focus only on money. 

Using Failure to Change Lives

Discovering art for myself, and moving into art, was one of the best things I ever did. Thankfully, I had horrible experiences learning. I had instructors tell me to give up, that I was not cut out for art. I persisted, but I watched friends get discouraged and drop out. But because it was hard for me and others, I have spent my life passionately solving that problem so it would never happen to anyone else. As a result I was able to help more people than ever because they could sense that I understood them. People respond when they see that you care deeply, that you’re not faking it, and when you are more about them than you are about yourself. 

Convincing Commitment

When the pandemic started, I created a show and hosted it daily, seven days a week for seven months, and five days a week since then. The show has had almost 17 million views since we started. Yet when the pandemic was over, people told me, “You should cut back to one day a week,” to which I responded, “Anybody can do one day a week, but doing five days a week shows commitment.” This is where sacrifice and commitment comes in. To be a success, you have to make personal sacrifices. People are always reading you and your intentions, and unless you’re showing up for them in a big way, they can feel your lack of commitment. People often say, “I don’t know anybody busier. I don’t know how you manage to do so much for us, thank you.” How could I possibly back off or do less when people are gaining benefit? When you’re helping others is no time to get comfortable.

Big Isn’t Always Better

Big corporations have come into my space to compete, and they make a lot of money, but audiences can tell the difference between commitment and product. I don’t want to be some big, faceless corporation where people don’t know me and my team. I don’t want to cut costs just to make more money, if it means making a product that’s less than amazing. Though sometimes cost cuts are the harsh reality of business when times are tough, I try to never cut what matters to my family of followers and my team. They are both our family; they are the reason for our success. Big companies don’t think that way, yet they can never figure out why they are not as deeply embraced.

Your Heart Revealed

People can tell your commitment. They can read your heart. The reason I push so hard on things is because I know these things can change people’s lives, and sometimes you have to jump up and down a lot to help them see what they need.

Success isn’t about tactics alone. If you want a rich life, make everything about your heart and how you can reach the hearts of others. If the intent is all financial, people can see it and feel it, just like people can sense whether someone is genuine with them or lying. The intention to solve problems and help others needs to rule all decisions. 

People tell me I’m naive. Probably. I’m sure I’d be a lot wealthier if I cut costs, treated my team badly, and looked for ways to squeeze people and lie to customers. But I could not look at myself in the mirror.

Take This Test

The true test of success … am I truly passionate? 

Am I working hard to help others have a better life? 

Am I changing the world in some way? 

Am I striving to always get better, and give people something new and better? 

Can I sleep at night or look myself in the mirror? 

Am I being honest and sincere with my customers?

Is my family happy with the time they are getting?

Success is an art. It’s the art of designing a well-balanced life, the art of serving others, the art of caring deeply. True success is never about the money alone.

Eric Rhoads

PS1: On Friday I wrapped up a four-day online art training event called Realism Live. It was life-changing for people in 14 countries and 50 states. I’ve been flooded with stories from people about how these events changed their lives, how they did not think they could ever paint but took a leap of faith and discovered how to do it, learning from the best of the best. 

Doing this is a tremendous amount of work for about 30 people. I spend hundreds of hours a year working on it, and I put everything else aside for long days for four weeks a year to make it happen. When it was over, I was invigorated and feeling as if I served people well, giving them more than they expected. I could never charge enough to pay for all the time my team and I devote to this effort. Yet people can tell we’re there for them. It makes it all worthwhile. Ultimately success is about service and sacrifice. 

My next online event is about watercolor, coming this January. It’s called Watercolor Live. 

PS 2: One of my favorite things to do is host painting retreats. I do three of them a year, which takes three weeks of my time and lots of prep work, and I love doing them because I get a week of one-on-one time with new friends, painting together and hanging out together. There is no substitute for one-on-one time with the people you serve. 

I have a new retreat designed to help people escape cold winter weather in February to paint in the sunshine. I’m holding a WINTER ESCAPE in St. Augustine Florida, America’s oldest city (and one of its most beautiful). We will paint the area for an entire week. 

Reward yourself with a Christmas or Hanukkah present, or suggest it to your family. It’s a week of painting, fun, painting at night too, and it’s going to be a blast. But it’s already half sold out after just 30 days since it was announced. 

www.WinterArtEscape.Com

PS 3: The Plein Air Convention also allows me to connect and serve. It’s a big event of about a thousand painters, and is happening in Reno and Lake Tahoe this year. Because it’s returning to the West, it will probably sell out fast. As it stands, we have only 268 seats left. If you wanna go, don’t take a chance of missing it. 

Sketchbook on my lap and watercolors in hand, I’m trying to capture the vibrant pink clouds as the rising sun bounces off their otherwise purple shadows. I’m trying to learn to paint the feel, not just the scene. I think that’s a lifetime goal. Then again, sometimes I forget the goals that are important to me, and then I forget to pursue them.

A Basket of Dreams

Imagine for a moment that you have a basket sitting there in your kitchen. Beside it are some note cards. Every time you have an idea, or a dream about doing something, you write it down on a note card and throw it into the basket.

In my case, I have a document open on my desktop. It’s the basket that all my ideas go into. I have 30 ideas a day, and every one goes in my basket.

Lots of Pitches

My team will tell you that I’ve been known to drive them a little bit crazy. I’ll have an idea, send an e-mail throwing it to the team, and expect them to do it. The problem is that I keep throwing fastballs. They probably get 50 a year, maybe more. They have to catch them, then decide what to do with them next. Do they start working on them, sit on them, or delay them?

Driving them Crazy

They’ve come to realize I’ll throw them a ball, they’ll start working on it, and then a month later, I’ll not even remember throwing it at them or it will no longer be important to me. It’s a giant waste of resources. But when things are working well, they’ll throw them in their basket, then hold a priority meeting with me. “Boss, we’ve got 56 things in the basket. Let’s go through them and decide their priority.” This is how a well-oiled machine works. In the past, I’d ask why something wasn’t done and they would tell me, “Because we’re working on this other project.” No human alive could accomplish it all. 

So is this something you should do?

Let me ask you some questions.

1. What are your five most important priorities to get done before your life ends?
2. What are five places you want to visit before you die?
3. What are five things you’ve always wanted to do but have not yet done?
4. What are the biggest goals of your life? Your career?
   

If you can’t answer these questions, you need to consider a basket and priorities. Include your family too, so they can live the family dreams.

There are a few important steps I think most of us should take.

1. We need a dream basket.
2. About this time of year, we need to pick up the basket, pull everything out of it, and ask the following:
   1. Is this item still important to me? 
   2. If so, is it important to me this year?
3. Anything important this year needs to be given a priority: No. 1, No. 2, etc.
4. Anything big for next year or a few years down the road, you need to ask: “Do I need to be working on it this year?” Some things take years.
5. These priority items need to be your goals. Ideally you should have goals by category…
   spiritual goals, physical goals (weight, diet, workout), mental goals (learning, growing), travel goals, financial goals, etc.
6. Start making a plan now, so you hit the ground running. If you wait till January, you’ll miss the first-quarter goals.

A Giant Mistake

Have you ever been so busy that you don’t have time to work on something that is important to you?

Last year I was so insanely busy that I did not go through my bucket, I did not set my goals, and I did not follow my regular routine. As a result I lacked focus, and because I had no goals, I did not hit them. But I’m sure I didn’t hit them because I didn’t set them. It’s too unstructured for me.

The Big Powwow 

Most years I get my key executives together in a room, and we pound out our priorities and goals for the year. It takes about three days. But we were so busy last year, we did not do it. Therefore I feel like we just drifted this year. 

I’ve discovered that success isn’t about a ton of goals, it’s about one big goal and two smaller ones. Once you knock those out, you can add others. We try to have three goals per quarter, no more.

This year my basket goals are being set, and in a couple of weeks, several of my team will gather for a full week and we will walk away with a budget, our company and department goals, our new initiatives, and our targets. And I’ll also do the same for my personal goals. When you’re shooting into the air, you never know if you hit a target.

I’m so embarrassed that I missed this, and I feel like I threw the year away. Don’t let it happen to you.

Your Mission

You need this, whether you’re on your own, running a business, or running your life or your family. If you don’t set goals, you probably will miss out on the things you want to get done in life. Life goes by quickly. You need to hold yourself accountable to those goals and not let yourself off the hook. Even if you can’t afford them, you need to find a way. You always can. That’s why planning is important.

Staying on Track

Goals are useless unless they are top of mind and in your face at least weekly. If you stay focused on them, you stand a higher chance of hitting them. If you never look at them and forget about them, I guarantee you’ll miss them. So get busy!

Eric Rhoads

PS: Monumental Growth

One year I was hurting. I felt my painting ability was suffering, and I wasn’t getting better. So I sat down and made two goals. One was to be better at landscape painting, and one was to be better at portrait painting. I then made a plan, followed my plan, and I actually made more progress in one year than any year before that.

Starting on Tuesday, I’m helping others around the world achieve their painting goals with my online conference REALISM LIVE. I have about 22 top master artists teaching for four days, and people attending from over 20 countries. Thousands have attended this event. It is, I believe, the fastest way to make great progress, because you are immersed for four days. Then of course you have to apply yourself and practice what we’ve taught you. We’re teaching portraits, figures, drawing, painting, still life, landscape painting, and more. There is time to join by going to www.realismlive.com. But do it before the price increase tonight at midnight. I have a guarantee: If you attend, and don’t feel as though you got enough value on day one for the entire fee, let us know by the end of day one and we’ll refund your money. Join us, even if you think you can’t paint. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

PS 2:
I’m doing a new artists’ retreat in St Augustine, FL, in February. It’s called WINTER ESCAPE (“Escape to Sunny Florida from the Snow and Ice”). It’s already 50% sold out, and I think it could be sold out before Christmas. You can learn more at www.winterartescape.com.

I’m nervous.

In spite of the glowing sun hitting the trees and the cool breeze making the grass sway, in spite of the musical birds nesting in the trees above the back porch, I’m nervous.

I’m not only nervous, I’m anxious.

In spite of my desire to avoid the news cycle and to not become consumed with social media, I’m nervous about the election and the future of America.

Wait.

Before you assume I’m about to make a political endorsement, just know I don’t do that. 

Though I desperately want my favorite candidate to win, for the good of the future of our country, I don’t feel it’s my place to try to influence you just because I happen to have a platform.

I’ve spent too many years hopefully building your trust and respect, and for me to try and convince you that my candidate is better is a fool’s game. Nothing I say will change your mind.

But I am anxious because the media rhetoric has me believing that if my person does not win, the world will change for the worse. The problem is, the other side believes the same thing. 

We all want a better world, a better economy, a safer place and a better life for our kids and grandkids.

My Prayer

I was having a conversation about this with God in my prayer this morning … Here’s how it went.

Me: Hi, God. Thank you for this beautiful day. But I have to admit, I woke up a little nervous. I have a little anxiety.

God: Anxiety? Really, Eric? Why?

Me: I’m worried about the election. I’m worried about our country. I’m worried about the future of America and the future of my kids’ freedom.

God: OK, got it. How can I help you?

Me: Well, I don’t know. I was thinking of praying that you make sure my candidate gets elected, but what if I’m wrong?

God: You’ve prayed for things before that were wrong. Sometimes I’ve answered your prayers and they turned out not to be good for you.

Me: I know. Why?

God: Because sometimes what you want isn’t good for you and I need to show you that you need to be more reliant on me, not on things. After all, I’m not Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. I’m not here to grant wishes like a genie in a bottle, I’m here for you to worship me, and for you to change your life because you want to please me, not because you want to win brownie points. Remember, no matter how good you are, you cannot earn your way into heaven. There is only one way.

Me: Thanks for the reminder. So what can I do about my anxiety?

God: Let me handle it. Turn it over to me. Instead of praying for your candidate, pray that my will be done.

Me: I know, but it’s hard to let go. I want to control things.

God: Trust me. I’ve got everything under control. If you don’t get your way, maybe there is a lesson you need to learn. Remember, Eric, I’ve got this. I’ve seen every ruler since the beginning of time. Some were good, some were bad. I give you free will for a reason. I’ve watched a lot of countries destroy themselves because they put the wrong people in power. 

Me: OK, God. 

God: Your prayers mean everything to me. I want to hear from you. I want everyone to turn to me. I want you to change your plans according to my plans for you. But that means you have to trust me. You have to talk to me, and listen to me. 

Think about this … there are two quarterbacks. Both take a knee and pray to win the game. Just because one does not win the game does not mean I don’t love them both. There is a reason for everything. You need to rely on me, but you need to listen to the lessons when things don’t go your way. Stop stressing.  I have people who love me who are praying for both candidates. My followers are not Democrats, Republicans, or Libertarians. They are all in my family.  Just know, I’m in control.

Me: OK. I agree. I pray that whoever ends up with the keys to the country, you bless them, guide them, and lead their heart to make the right decisions for the good of the people. 

God: Now you get it.

Your Vote on Tuesday

If you’re someone who prays, pray that God will lead your heart and your decision. Pray that you’ll listen to the voice inside of you, pray for the future of this great land, and pray that our leader will do what’s best for our people. Most importantly, pray for God’s will.And if your person does not win, just know that there is a reason. Embrace it, learn from it, and keep praying for our leaders even if you don’t like them. Pray for your enemies.

If you’re not someone who prays, listen to your heart, not your head. Don’t succumb to the pressure of others. Be the real you. Most importantly, no matter what, get out and vote. Don’t ever think your vote does not matter. 

And if you’re anxious, give it up to God. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: This is all very entertaining. Though I’m tired of all the political nonsense, it’s fun trying to predict what happens next, what bomb will be dropped on each candidate or what distraction will show up to keep us from voting. It’s better than any movie.

But … I know a lot of people who have put their lives on hold. Their world will come to an end, they think, if the wrong person gets into office. Don’t let this stop you from living your life, doing what you need to be doing. Lick your wounds or celebrate, but in either case, move on and get back to living the richest life possible. 

Speaking of entertaining…

Just around the corner in November is my next online conference. It’s called Realism Live, and it’s the last time we’re gonna do it for a couple of years. It’s THE BEST ALL AROUND ART CONFERENCE for those who want to learn a little bit of every kind of realism art … landscape painting, drawing, portraits, figures, still life, and more. I think we’re down to our last 200 seats (this is a massive worldwide art training event that THOUSANDS have attended), and I suspect those seats will go fast because the price increases very soon. Register at www.RealismLive.com.

Wanna Get Away to the Sun?
A lot of the country had its first snow this week. By February, you’ll be sick of gray days. My newest artist retreat is called WINTER ESCAPE. It’s being held in St. Augustine, FL, the oldest city in America, and we’re going to implement some new things we’ve never tried at our other retreats. We’re already 47% sold out. If you wanna go, sign up now. If we get enough people, we’ll be able to take over a whole hotel on our own, which will make it even more fun. Check it out at www.winterartescape.com.

Watercolor People…
Watercolor Live is coming up in January, and it’s already exceeding expectations. Register at www.WatercolorLive.com.

Twisted, gnarly oak trees are projecting interesting-shaped shadows onto the dry fall grass below. Pink and purple clouds are glowing from the morning light, blending into the distant purple hills. The hot Texas sun is taking a fall break and we’re experiencing what we call “California Weather,” which is about as perfect as it gets here and one of the few signs of fall we experience. 

Like being wrapped in a warm blanket, it’s good to be home after weeks of travel. There really is no place like home. Or is there?

A Formerly Crazy Life

I have to admit that as much as I’ve jumped back into life post-Covid, I’ve resisted my former travel habits of being almost continuously a road warrior. After slowing down, the thought of waking up in hotel rooms for 120 nights a year wasn’t very appealing. And though I’ve traveled to my convention, retreats, and art & painting tours, which is part of doing business for me and more fun than most things I do, I’ve avoided all the extra travel I used to do that wasn’t mandatory.

After summer in the Adirondacks, I was home in Austin for exactly 48 hours before catching a flight to California, where I spent the better part of three weeks at my retreat, judging an art show, and speaking at a few events. 

Instead of being exhausted, I was invigorated because I encountered people I’d not seen in years. 

Missing You

Especially eye-opening to me were the friendships I’ve missed. For instance, before my Fall Color Week retreat, I visited with my great friends Mitch and Shelly to stay in their oceanfront estate. We spent lots of time catching up, but best of all, Mitch had arranged a surprise for me by inviting our old weekly painting group to go painting together again after at least a decade. Our time together was as if we hadn’t missed a beat. Including the bad jokes. We picked up where we left off. The only difference — absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I appreciated them more and was sad when it ended.

This of course was just one of many special moments reconnecting with friends I’ve missed seeing. 

As I was packing up to head back to Texas, I had a spring in my step and a big smile on my face. It was apparent to me how much I love being around friends, making new friends, and being around the art world, speaking at and judging events … in person. 

My conclusion: It was such a joy, I need to be “out there more.”

So, after years of declining speaking gigs and requests to judge major art shows, I’ve decided to make myself available to travel more. But never at the pace of travel before Covid. Of course, there is a problem … I’ve got a company to run and a few dozen employees to feed. So when I’m traveling and not at my desk, I tend to fall into a black hole. I’ll have to figure out a solution to that problem.

Don’t Let the Gremlins In

When we get set in our ways, gremlins somehow creep into our psyche. Before a trip I would find myself saying things like, “I’ve traveled for 40 years on business trips. I’m done,” or, “I can’t spend one more night away from home in a hotel room.” Or, “I wonder if I could wait a couple more days.”

Pretty grumpy, huh?

In what ways have the gremlins entered into your head?

What stories are you telling yourself about the things you don’t want to do?

I have to admit, before some trips I tell myself, “I don’t want to get on an airplane tomorrow.” Yet once I get there, and get engaged, I’m at my happiest.

Where are you your happiest?

I’m pretty happy wherever I am. It’s people that fuel my happy-o-meter, and I’ve decided to keep the meter pegged at 100% for the foreseeable future. I’m thinking I need to go on a world tour 🙂

Of course, once I’m home and I fall back into my routine of great meals and healthy eating, working out daily, and good-quality desk time, I’ll probably change my thinking.

What pegs your happy-o-meter?

What causes you to wake up with a giant smile on your face?

What causes you to be grumpy?
What can you do to avoid the things that don’t make you happy?

There is no rulebook.

There is no manual on how to live your life.Just because we grew up with a certain mindset does not mean we have to keep it.

Why not change it?

Why not get radical and chase what you love, and stop wasting time with gremlins?

Eric Rhoads

PS: Responsibility is a part of my DNA. I’m loyal to my family and their needs; that always comes before my rogue ideas. But sometimes you gotta shake things up a little.

Everyone remember to vote. Vote your heart. Don’t vote the way you think you’re supposed to. But vote.

What I’m focused on at the moment…

Do you ever have that feeling that you know something that no one else knows … and you’re just itching to tell them?

I’m working on a project that could be the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my career. But if I told you, I’d have to put a pillow over your mouth, so you’ll just have to be patient.

What else?

1. Since we’ve had several printings of my best-selling book, someone mentioned to me the other day that it was selling for $100 on Amazon. I discovered that is because they are out of them and it’s time for another printing. So, stop the presses. The next edition will be updated to make sure it’s all 100% relevant to today. As you know, things change. So the book will change soon. Keep an eye out for a new edition.

2. A dream prompted the idea for our online art conferences. We have trained thousands of people, and we will again soon … our next one features art instructors from all over the world. It’s called REALISM LIVE. It’s our most well-rounded general conference on art … covering all subjects like landscape, figures, portraits, still life, and more. And it features styles ranging from classical academic realism to impressionism. It’s THE one every artist should attend in November.

3. Snow used to be my enemy. Especially around February. So I’ve created a new retreat called WINTER ESCAPE. I announced it three weeks ago and it’s already 40% sold out. It’s for people who want to escape the cold and snow, and come to Florida to paint with me for a week. WINTERARTESCAPE.COM.

4. Somewhat of a surprise is how many people are registering early for the PLEIN AIR CONVENTION & EXPO, to be held in May in Lake Tahoe and Reno. I just visited there and picked some amazing places where a thousand of us can paint together. This one can’t be missed. 

So much more around the corner … Stay well. 

A thick bank of fog brightly fills the view from my window. I can barely make out the light gray silhouettes of distant palms and poetic eucalyptus trees. Today is my last full day in “sunny” California; tomorrow I’ll return to Texas.

We lived in Northern California for a decade, and our kids were born in Berkeley. But alas, we moved to escape excessive taxes and other issues that were deteriorating our quality of life and our bank account. But I have to admit, as I rode down the freeway near our old house and saw Mount Diablo, the massive mountain in our area that I frequently painted with friends, I found I had a sentimental tear in my eye.

Since I started painting, I’ve always wanted to live where I was inspired to paint. California provided me variety in droves. We were an hour from an amazing and colorful city, and two hours from the Carmel coast, with giant rocks, crashing waves, and beautiful cypress trees. Or in another direction, I could be in the High Sierra surrounding Lake Tahoe. I used to fly to these places as a tourist, but living here was different.

On this trip I started in San Francisco, drove to the coast, where I painted with friends, then drove to Tahoe for some business, then flew to Los Angeles for more business, and then I drove to Laguna Beach. It was the perfect time away in some of my favorite areas.

But the tear wasn’t just for the beauty and inspired landscape, it was for my friendships. Though I have friends all over the world, there is nothing quite like those you see all the time, almost every week. Thanks to my friend Mitch, a reunion of old painter buddies was orchestrated that included a day of painting. When I left Northern California, I did not realize what I was leaving; when I returned, I realized how much they were missed. We had not been together for a few years, but it was like we picked up exactly where we left off.

A couple of nights ago, I visited the owner of a wonderful art gallery (Huse-Skelly) in Balboa Island, which I’d never before seen. I had dinner with her and her husband and ended up encountering her friends everywhere we turned. I met one woman from my wife’s hometown, and another from mine. They were a group that has gathered at the same outdoor table since COVID, not knowing one another until brought together by circumstance. And as they say, it was the only good thing to come out of the pandemic, and a bunch of them still meet there every Thursday night.

Friendship traditions are so important. In my painting life I have traditions of meeting once a year at three different painting retreats and a convention. The same people come back year after year when they can, and when they don’t they are missed — yet each year new friends become part of the family. At home in Austin, we meet with friends from church once a week on Tuesday nights, something we look forward to. At the lake in the Adirondacks, we have weekly Taco Tuesday with friends, where we meet at their house or ours to cook together and catch up. And when I was living out here, my buddies and I would meet on Thursday mornings and spend the full day together painting. Some of the best times were conversations in the car to and from painting.

Last week I had a stark reminder that life is short and that we need to grab every opportunity to create time with friends to enrich our lives. A young woman, age 31, who I met at our Asheville-area Plein Air Convention, had her house float away and was missing for days, until her body was recovered last week. She was so excited to be able to go to the convention and to get a picture with me, which we found on her Facebook page. I’m thankful she managed to come and live part of her dream. But I’m deeply saddened that one of our art family is gone so young and so tragically, swept away by rushing waters.

This is a reminder that life is short, that the end of life can come like a thief in the night, rarely expected. This week I was conducting an interview with artist Peter Adams on camera, and I asked what he wanted to get done before his life ended. He knew exactly, and rattled off a list and what he was doing about it. 

What about you? 

Could you give me your list and the actions you are taking?

How would you answer these questions?

• I’ve always wanted to _____, but I haven’t because of ____.
• What are the three most important things you want to do before you die?
• If you had one healthy year to live, what are the first three things you’d do?
• If someone was talking about your life at your funeral, reading your accomplishments, what needs to be added to that list?
• Who are the friends you’ve been meaning to see and spend time with? 
• What have you always dreamed of doing but have not because of limited thinking or fear of failure?

Elon Musk asked which is worse… trying it and failing? Or never trying? 

You will fail. I fail all the time. But fail forward. Keep working toward your giant dream. Don’t look back in regret.

There is never enough time or money, but you can overcome any odds. 

Live for your dream.

Live for your bucket list.

Live for the people you love with whom you want to have rich memories 

Eric Rhoads

PS: My heart goes out to everyone impacted by the two major storms and the fires out West. If you can, find a charity you can trust and give something.

In the Carolinas, I trust Brushes for Vincent, which is helping kids and artists, Asheville’s River Arts District, and of course Samaritan’s Purse.

PS2: Last night I had the pleasure of judging and presenting the grand prize at the LPAPA (Laguna Plein Air Painters Association) art show. It was a spectacular event — well-run, highly respected, and very successful. I want to thank them for their hospitality, and my hosts for the lovely accommodations.

A week ago today we concluded my annual Fall Color Week artists’ retreat in Monterey, California. We had perfect, unseasonable weather, and I did the best paintings of my life and met loads of new friends. Thanks to everyone who attended.

My next retreat is called Winter Escape, and it’s coming in February in St. Augustine, Florida.

My next online event is Realism Live, November 13-15. 

Then it’s Watercolor Live in January.

And before you know it, we’ll return to the Plein Air Convention, in Lake Tahoe this May.

See you there!