Less than a week after snowballs melted in my gloved palm, I’m stretched out in a lounge chair, watching late January sunlight paint the distant mountain in watercolors. The morning air in Austin still carries winter’s bite, but the sun promises 70 degrees by noon. It’s warmer here than in Florida, but in a few days Florida will return to its sunny self. A cardinal flashes crimson against the live oak’s winter-bare branches, while somewhere in the distance, a tractor hums its morning song across the back 40.

This is the kind of morning that reminds you that being alive is a gift worth unwrapping slowly. The kind that makes you question why we spend so many precious hours under fluorescent lights when God’s own lightbulb is putting on a free light show. 

Time Flies

I’m shocked that our first month of the year has already passed. Time slides by these days, faster than a rattler disappearing under a rock. One minute you’re making resolutions over champagne, next thing you know you’re watching Valentine’s chocolates go on clearance. 

My grandmother used to tell me that the years speed up as you age, back when I was too busy being immortal to believe it could ever happen to me. Now I’m watching my hands turn into my father’s, and that face in the mirror has my grandfather’s smile lines.

Forced to Think

After last week’s unfortunate funeral for a friend, I’ve been rethinking my longevity plan. Am I doing enough? Am I going overboard? It appears my routine of supplements, strength training, stretching, and diet is working. But Thursday’s checkup with my MD buddy brought unexpected good news — grip strength matching guys 20 years younger, lung capacity of a 30-year-old, and all markers aced. Though he did mention I should plan financially for triple digits. Just got to dodge those buses.

Making Changes

Here’s the thing about aging: It’s not the enemy we make it out to be. It’s more like a dance partner who’s going to lead whether you like it or not. The trick isn’t fighting the dance; it’s learning the steps. That’s why my phone spends its nights in the kitchen now, far from my bedroom’s sacred sleep space. It’s why I chase that morning light like a cat after a laser pointer, and why my standing desk looks like something from a sci-fi movie. Staying vibrant and healthy has a lot to do with a lot of little things.

The Fountain of Youth

The real fountain of youth isn’t about popping pills or chasing miracle cures. It’s about staying in the game. It’s one of the reasons I host weekly model painting sessions on Wednesday nights, so I can make sure that I’m getting a dose of a social prescription at least once a week, so I can share laughs, stories, and keep my brain sharp with the challenge of painting portraits from life. It’s why I’m adding more artist retreats and painting trips when people younger than me are cutting back. 

Keep ’Em Younger

My goal is to always have more social connections than a switchboard operator and move more in a day than most folks do in a week. The scientists say this kind of social butterfly behavior is better for longevity than any supplement, though I take about 30 a day. Something about how laughing with friends oils your DNA better than olive oil ever could (though it’s remarkably good for you and you should drink a liter of the pure stuff a day.). My grandmother used to say, “Make sure to make a lot of younger friends, because you’ll outlive all of the ones your age.” It was great advice, and unfortunately is ringing true. I’ve lost four good friends in the last 10 days, but I have tons of friends half my age.

Don’t Go Slow!

I’m not trying to outrun death — that’s a fool’s marathon. In fact, the key is to be ready for it, excited about the next chapter. What I’m after is the kind of life where I can still drop to the ground to pick up guitar picks that have fallen without effort, groaning, or pain. Researchers say deciding to “slow down” is like setting a 10-year timer on your life. So I keep moving — playing pickleball and basketball with my daughter, lifting weights until it hurts, working out till I’m breathless. MCT oil and lion’s mane in my coffee, daily intermittent fasting, avoiding my sugar addiction to keep my glucose from spiking, and taking  peptides — it all adds up.

Here’s the truth: We’re not just trying to add years to our lives – we’re trying to add life to our years. 

Maybe if we keep our phone radiation out of our bedrooms to keep our sleep pristine, we lift enough weights that it’s a struggle, and we work out till we can hardly breathe, eat the perfect diet, nurture enough friendships to fill a small concert hall, and keep moving like we’ve got ants in our pants, we’ll still be chasing dreams well into our hundreds.

Staying Vital

There is no retirement for me. Have you seen the statistics on what happens after retirement? I work hard to stay busy and to mentally keep up with the brilliant 30-year-olds I surround myself with in my business.  I do my best to surprise them with an occasional “How did he know that?” moment. This is why I read like a madman, continue to attend conferences and learning events, and take a half dozen or more courses a year online. Again, it all adds up

So now my phone spends its nights in splendid isolation down the hall, like a teenager who’s been grounded. And wouldn’t you know it? I’m sleeping deeper than a philosopher at a calculus lecture. Sleep is the number one anti-aging drug. The more you can get, the more your brain recovers. My next step is to stop all screen time one hour before sleepytime. 

Learning from Experts

But here’s the thing about trying to stay young — it’s not about popping more supplements than a health food store’s inventory. Sure, Harvard longevity expert Dr. David Sinclair (who I suspect has a portrait aging in his attic somewhere) talks about NAD+, berberine, and resveratrol with the enthusiasm of a kid describing ice cream flavors. I do exactly what he says, but between you and me, I think the real fountain of youth is getting our weight under control and just refusing to sit still long enough for time to catch up with us. 

Staying vital is a full-time job. It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done, but the reward is bigger than the rewards of employment. More time with family and seeing my own kids age, and being there for the special moments in their lives is the best gift I can give all of us. It’s never too late for new New Year’s resolutions. After all, it’s still January for a couple more days.

Eric Rhoads

The familiar hiss of the espresso machine provides a gentle backdrop to the quiet murmur of Sunday morning as I stare across the water, pondering the distant shore. No dolphins have graced these waters in the two weeks since I arrived in this coastal paradise — the unseasonably chilly days keeping them at bay, much like the thoughts I’ve been trying to hold at a distance.

Steam rises from my cup, colliding with the cool air, carrying the rich aroma of freshly ground beans — a temporary comfort as my mind inevitably drifts to Friday’s farewell.

A Walk in the Woods

Warm afternoon light filtered through giant twisted oaks, their Spanish moss swaying like ancient beards in the breeze, casting long shadows across the rough forest floor. Each step brought a symphony of crunching leaves and breaking twigs, nature’s percussion accompanying our solemn procession.

A tear entered the corner of my eye as I shoveled a load of fresh earth and spread it across the body of an old friend as he lay inside an open grave. The moment was raw, real, unlike any funeral I’d attended before.

Bad News Calling 

Just barely a week ago, we received the call that would begin this final chapter — our friend had slipped into a diabetic coma and was on life support. Life’s cruel irony showed itself as his wife simultaneously underwent emergency hip surgery. For a brief moment, they shared a hospital room before each returned home — he for hospice care, she for recovery.

Something New

This wasn’t like the many funerals I’ve attended since childhood. There was no polished wood coffin, no marble headstone waiting to be placed, no minister pontificating on eternity. Instead, his body was wrapped naturally in a white shroud, resting on an old wagon adorned with a few hand-picked flowers and ferns. We, the few who gathered to honor his life, walked together into the woods, where small piles of dirt covered with hay marked the resting places of others who had chosen this simple return to the earth.

A Somber Moment

The sound of a fiddle playing “Amazing Grace” filled the air as we lowered him into the ground. One by one, each guest took their turn with the shovel, a final act of service to our friend. Workers completed what we had begun, filling the grave as we stood in contemplative silence.

Between the Years

His life was distilled into stories shared by friends and relatives — not an exhaustive biography, but meaningful moments that painted the picture of a life well-lived. As someone once said, it’s about the dash between the birth and death dates. It’s what we do with that dash that matters.

Standing there, I couldn’t help but wonder: Am I next? What words will be said? Who will show up? What memories and stories will they share? What do I still need to accomplish?

Moments Created

The truth reveals itself: If everything we do, we do for ourselves, there will be no stories worth sharing. But when we create moments for others, going out of our way to craft what become exceptional memories, we never really die until those who shared those memories pass on themselves.

True Artistic Spirit

My friend lived simply but profoundly. A master boatbuilder who crafted everything by hand, he told me last year he’d built 29 of his legendary guide boats — one per year, living off the proceeds of each creation. His work now rests in a museum, his craftsmanship preserved alongside his photograph. He never chased wealth, instead doing what he loved and surviving on what he made. It was enough to keep him and his bride happy, while touching countless lives along the way.

Sage Wisdom

Earlier this week, coaching a young employee contemplating a career change, I shared this: “Assume every decision you make will be followed by 10 or more years to achieve it. Carry the weight of that decade-long commitment, and ask yourself: If this were your last year, would this decision honor your time?”

Jeff Bezos, whom I met before his rise to fame and fortune, suggests imagining yourself at 80, looking back. Would you regret this decision and devoting precious time? It’s about making time for reflection and thinking long-term.

Grasping for Thoughts

I’ve spent decades pondering life’s meaning, and while my answers evolve, nothing sobers the mind quite like watching earth fall into a friend’s grave. Even if decades stretch before me, my time too will come, and come far too rapidly.

What About Me?

Will I spend these precious years mindlessly scrolling through social media, letting screens fill my days with meaningless distraction? Or will I create something meaningful? Will I waste time with those who drain my spirit, or invest in creating joyful memories with those I truly love who fill me up? Will my pursuits serve others or merely myself? Will my cup run over? Will my spirit be gentle?

Magic Making

One wasted hour is too many, especially if it’s your last. The value of our relationships must be about creating magic from the mundane, loving deeply, and enriching others with our time and encouragement. There’s no room for harsh words, raised voices, insecurity, or needless drama.

What do you need to accomplish? Who do you want to serve? What memories must you create before the dirt falls upon you? In what ways will your spirit, your stories, your memories and moments live on?

No Hollywood scene could have matched the raw power of watching his widow, eyes closed, face tilted skyward, pure joy and faith radiating through her grief as she quoted the 23rd Psalm from memory, her voice weak but unwavering.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want,” she began, each word a testament to her faith in this moment of ultimate testing.

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

Peace descended with each verse, wrapping around her like a familiar blanket.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.”

Her conviction grew stronger with each line, faith lifting her voice.

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

I’ve heard that prayer, read that passage, a thousand times, heard it uttered by ministers at countless funerals. But here, in this moment, it came alive — transformed by a woman whose heart had been ripped out, who had just lost the love of her life and watched as we covered him with a blanket of earth. Her faith made these ancient words breathe with new life and meaning.

Waste not, want not. Every moment counts.

Eric Rhoads

Ah, Sunday morning in Florida — where I’m supposedly sitting on the beach, my coffee sporting a tiny pink umbrella, watching the sunrise paint layers of clouds in spectacular colors while I soak up vitamin D. At least, that’s the dream version! Truth is, I am in Florida, but even paradise got caught in the arctic blast sweeping across America. Though I have to chuckle — my version of “cold” means trading my short sleeves for long ones. I know my Northern friends are probably rolling their eyes right now! And in a week it will be back to 70 degrees for most of the winter.

My Therapist Told Me This

This morning’s slightly chilly contemplation has me thinking about something a therapist once told me: I’m a “pleaser.” You know the type — we’re the ones who light up when we can help others succeed, who’ll go the extra mile (or ten) to support someone’s dreams. Some might say it stems from deep psychological trauma — or something — but honestly? I’ve grown pretty fond of this part of myself. There’s something magical about watching others thrive because you lent a helping hand.

Plowing Forward

But here’s where it gets interesting. Being nice doesn’t mean you can’t be driven or even aggressive (in a nice way, of course!). Running a sizable enterprise has taught me that sometimes you need both qualities. It’s like being a friendly bulldozer — clearing paths while saying “excuse me” along the way. Thomas the Tank Engine was still a locomotive!

Accidental Magic

Let me share a recent story that perfectly illustrates this balance. Last Friday, we hosted an online event called Art Business Mastery Day. The turnout? Well, I lost count after 1,000 people showed up! It was all dreamed up during an evening virtual cocktail party back in November when someone casually mentioned, “I love these events — why don’t you do one about marketing?” My initial “nice guy” response was to list all the reasons we couldn’t: time constraints, preparation needs, uncertainty about attendance. But after a night’s sleep (and probably too much coffee), something clicked.

Increased Workload

I called my marketing head and said those words that probably make every team member secretly groan: “I need a website done today.” To his credit, he didn’t flinch — he just said, “I’ll do it.” Looking back, I wish he’d pushed back a bit, pointed out the holiday timing, the 30 other projects on our plate. But he was being nice too, you see. The result? A lot of holiday work hours for everyone, including me spending my “vacation” planning content. I try to never ask anyone to do what I’m unwilling to do myself.

Push Anyway

But here’s the kicker — if we’d stopped to consider all the reasons not to do it, one of our most successful events might never have happened. Sometimes being too nice means missing opportunities for growth. A CEO friend once told me that without insistence and deadlines, growth becomes impossible. It’s like trying to brew coffee without heat — you might eventually get something, but why wait that long? Ask the employees of Elon Musk or the late Steve Jobs, or the people who work for Jensen Haung or Codie Sanchez. They move mountains because they act on big ideas and motivate their teams to find a way to do the impossible. 

Think about your own life for a moment. How many amazing experiences almost didn’t happen because there were a thousand reasons to say no? 

How many wonderful achievements came because you pushed forward anyway?

Sometimes a little uncomfortable nudge is required, and sometimes you’ll make decisions with no one else on board and you’ll feel a little awkward because no one else is in agreement. Do it anyway. Follow your gut.

My approach now? 

When an idea strikes, I evaluate quickly and move fast. Waiting usually means forgetting, and when I hear “we’re too busy,” the nice guy in me wants to give everyone a break. But the leader in me knows better. Perfect is the enemy of good — we can polish things later, but first, we need to start. And this year my goal is to speed everything up and launch more. Wish me luck.

So here’s to being nice … but not too nice. To pushing forward while still saying “please” and “thank you.” To making things happen while keeping our humanity intact. Because at the end of the day, growth doesn’t require being a jerk — it just requires being decisively kind.

With coffee in hand (no pink umbrella, sadly),

Eric Rhoads

Imagine waking up to nature’s own aquatic circus. As I write this, dolphins are pirouetting through crystal waters, their playful squeaks harmonizing with the gentle swish of palm fronds overhead. The sun — a blazing orb of amber and rose — is painting the horizon in colors that would make even Van Gogh jealous. This is Florida in December, our reward after a cross-country odyssey from Texas with our four-legged navigation team.

Last night we arrived under cover of darkness, like treasure hunters seeking the Promised Land. The fridge might be as empty as a politician’s promise, but somehow I’ve managed to conjure up coffee and road trip leftovers. The grocery store beckons, but it can wait until after church. Some mornings are too perfect to rush.

Life as a Pinball: Confessions of a Derailed Goal Setter

Let me tell you about 2024. Imagine being the silver ball in the world’s most chaotic pinball machine. Flippers of fate sent me ricocheting in every direction, and I found the gutter more times than a bowling ball thrown by a toddler. Here’s the deliciously embarrassing part: I, the supposed guru of goal-setting, completely dropped the ball on my own planning. It’s like being a dentist with cavity-riddled teeth, or a personal trainer who considers pizza a food group.

But here’s the raw truth — every single time I’ve failed to set my goals, my year turned out about as organized as a tornado in a paper factory. You can’t score points when you don’t even know where the targets are.

The Three Golden Windows of Opportunity

Now, let me share something crucial about timing. There are three perfect moments to map out your year, like three secret portals to success:

1. Fall: The overachiever’s sweet spot, when you can lay your tracks before the train even arrives. This is when the smart money places their bets and sets up their dominos.
2. November: Still ahead of the game, like showing up early to a party — you get the good parking spots and first crack at the appetizers.
3. December/Early January: The Last Chance Saloon. Still totally valid, but you’re cutting it closer than a hedge trimmer on espresso.

The benefits of goal-setting used to be a theory, but there is substantial evidence that goal-setting, mindset, and attitude make a massive difference in living your dreams.
What you should know to make this and every year better.

1. People who set goals are more likely to succeed. Don’t believe it? Locke and Latham’s studies over 35 years, analyzing over 400 studies, found that specific and challenging goals led to higher performance 90% of the time compared to vague “do your best” goals or no goals at all. Seventy studies found an average improvement in performance of 10%-25% when using specific, challenging goals versus “do your best” or no goals. And in 2015 research showed that people who wrote down their goals were 42% more likely to achieve them than those who didn’t. A Harvard Business School study tracked MBA graduates and found that 10 years later, the 13% who had written goals earned twice as much as the 84% who had no specific goals.
2. People who share their goals with others increase their chances of success. Dominican University discovered that people who wrote down their goals, shared them with others, and provided weekly progress updates were 76% more likely to achieve them compared to those who merely thought about their goals. It’s harder to back out and not accomplish something once you announce it. That’s why I always announce my big initiatives before I actually do them.
3. People who look at their goals weekly stand a higher chance of achieving them because the goals stay top of mind. Meanwhile, most of us set resolutions or goals, never look at them, then forget them. That’s exactly why my 2024 was not as good as it should have been.
4. When you stretch yourself and make yourself uncomfortable, you’re more likely to experience growth, because growth comes from discomfort and pain, not doing the same things repeatedly and hoping things will improve.
5. If you see yourself where you want to be, you are more likely to become what you think you are. Instead of saying, “I’m gonna be,” say, “I am.” It will fool your brain and begin manifesting outcomes to make it happen. Scientific research strongly supports the power of present-tense affirmations and visualization in achieving goals. Neuroscience studies using fMRI scans have shown that visualizing an action activates many of the same neural pathways as physically performing it, with Harvard Medical School research demonstrating that mental practice alone can increase muscle strength by 13.5%. Dr. Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset and Dr. Richard Wiseman’s research on the “As If” Principle confirm that people who believe in their current ability to develop skills and act “as if” they are already successful are significantly more likely to achieve their goals. This works through a combination of neural pathway development and activation of the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), which helps us notice opportunities aligned with our self-image, creating a powerful self-fulfilling cycle where our beliefs shape our actions and outcomes.

Scientific research from several disciplines validates this concept. A 2013 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that when people labeled themselves as “being” something (e.g., “I am a healthy eater”) versus “becoming” something (“I want to be a healthy eater”), they were significantly more likely to make choices that reinforced that identity. Additionally, neuroscience research using EEG measurements has shown that when people use present-tense self-talk, it activates the left prefrontal cortex — an area associated with motivation and goal-directed behavior — more strongly than future-tense statements. This aligns with studies in sports psychology where athletes who visualized themselves as already possessing target skills showed measurable performance improvements, with one notable study at the University of Chicago demonstrating up to 24% better performance among athletes who practiced present-tense visualization versus those focusing on future goals.

Those five things will make more difference in living your dream life than anything else you can do. Hard work alone isn’t enough. But on top of manifestation and goals, it’s critical to manage your attitude. Here’s why:

People who are naturally negative live shorter lives and get sicker more often.
Research consistently shows that negative thinking and pessimism correlate with poorer health outcomes and shorter lifespans. Multiple large-scale studies, including the Finnish Kuopio Study and the Women’s Health Initiative, have found that pessimistic people face significantly higher risks of cardiovascular disease, cancer, and premature death. For example, pessimistic men showed twice the risk of cardiovascular death, while negative women had a 30% higher risk of coronary heart disease. Studies at the University of Kentucky demonstrated that negative emotions can suppress immune system function, leading to increased susceptibility to illness and slower healing

Research consistently shows that optimistic people not only experience greater happiness, they also tend to enjoy better physical health outcomes. Positive thinkers have stronger immune systems, lower rates of cardiovascular disease, and greater resilience against stress. Their optimistic outlook often leads them to make healthier lifestyle choices, like maintaining regular exercise routines and following balanced diets, as they believe their actions will yield positive results. Moreover, when faced with health challenges, positive thinkers typically cope more effectively, following treatment plans more diligently and recovering more quickly from illnesses and injuries. Their social connections also tend to be stronger, as their upbeat attitude draws others to them, creating supportive networks that further enhance both their mental and physical well-being. Even in difficult circumstances, their ability to find silver linings and maintain hope helps them navigate challenges with greater emotional resilience, leading to lower rates of anxiety and depression.

My Negative Friend Chris

One of my closest friends was one of the most negative people I’ve ever met. To this day I’m not sure why I liked spending time with him, but I guess it was rooted in having worked together and having good times when we were much younger. One day I lectured him about the power of a positive mindset, and he in turn lectured me about how that was all nonsense and “of course I can say that because I’ve lived a charmed life and had opportunity handed to me.” There is some truth to that, but his negativity often resulted in him losing jobs (no one wants to hear it) and eventually dying a horrific early death. Somehow I think he felt better being negative. It turns out that studies have shown that verbal aggression can trigger the release of dopamine and other neurochemicals that create a reward response in the brain. 

What to do next?

Last week I mentioned advice given by the father of my high school girlfriend. He took me aside one day and told me that I was one of the most negative people he had ever met, and that if I did not change that, I’d live an unhappy life and probably die young. It turns out my girlfriend put him up to it. He taught me how to rethink how I think. And instead of resisting his advice, I changed. It wasn’t easy because my natural response was to go negative. After decades, it’s still my natural response, yet I force myself to turn my head around. 

Tony Robbins talks about how the “reptilian brain,” our subconscious, is designed to protect us from wild animals, always looking for problems so we can escape them. He says we have to be aware that it’s there, ignore it, and turn on a different mindset. (I highly recommend a trip to one of his events.)

So if you’re being negative, or if you’re not goal-oriented, or if you’re spending your time wondering why you’re not achieving what you want, maybe it’s time to rethink how you’re thinking. It worked for me, and it will work for you.

Eric Rhoads

Imagine waking up to nature’s own aquatic circus. As I write this, dolphins are pirouetting through crystal waters, their playful squeaks harmonizing with the gentle swish of palm fronds overhead. The sun — a blazing orb of amber and rose — is painting the horizon in colors that would make even Van Gogh jealous. This is Florida in December, our reward after a cross-country odyssey from Texas with our four-legged navigation team.

Last night we arrived under cover of darkness, like treasure hunters seeking the Promised Land. The fridge might be as empty as a politician’s promise, but somehow I’ve managed to conjure up coffee and road trip leftovers. The grocery store beckons, but it can wait until after church. Some mornings are too perfect to rush.

Life as a Pinball: Confessions of a Derailed Goal Setter

Let me tell you about 2024. Imagine being the silver ball in the world’s most chaotic pinball machine. Flippers of fate sent me ricocheting in every direction, and I found the gutter more times than a bowling ball thrown by a toddler. Here’s the deliciously embarrassing part: I, the supposed guru of goal-setting, completely dropped the ball on my own planning. It’s like being a dentist with cavity-riddled teeth, or a personal trainer who considers pizza a food group.

But here’s the raw truth — every single time I’ve failed to set my goals, my year turned out about as organized as a tornado in a paper factory. You can’t score points when you don’t even know where the targets are.

The Three Golden Windows of Opportunity

Now, let me share something crucial about timing. There are three perfect moments to map out your year, like three secret portals to success:

1. Fall: The overachiever’s sweet spot, when you can lay your tracks before the train even arrives. This is when the smart money places their bets and sets up their dominos.
2. November: Still ahead of the game, like showing up early to a party — you get the good parking spots and first crack at the appetizers.
3. December/Early January: The Last Chance Saloon. Still totally valid, but you’re cutting it closer than a hedge trimmer on espresso.

The benefits of goal-setting used to be a theory, but there is substantial evidence that goal-setting, mindset, and attitude make a massive difference in living your dreams.
What you should know to make this and every year better.

1. People who set goals are more likely to succeed. Don’t believe it? Locke and Latham’s studies over 35 years, analyzing over 400 studies, found that specific and challenging goals led to higher performance 90% of the time compared to vague “do your best” goals or no goals at all. Seventy studies found an average improvement in performance of 10%-25% when using specific, challenging goals versus “do your best” or no goals. And in 2015 research showed that people who wrote down their goals were 42% more likely to achieve them than those who didn’t. A Harvard Business School study tracked MBA graduates and found that 10 years later, the 13% who had written goals earned twice as much as the 84% who had no specific goals. 
2. People who share their goals with others increase their chances of success. Dominican University discovered that people who wrote down their goals, shared them with others, and provided weekly progress updates were 76% more likely to achieve them compared to those who merely thought about their goals. It’s harder to back out and not accomplish something once you announce it. That’s why I always announce my big initiatives before I actually do them. 
3. People who look at their goals weekly stand a higher chance of achieving them because the goals stay top of mind. Meanwhile, most of us set resolutions or goals, never look at them, then forget them. That’s exactly why my 2024 was not as good as it should have been. 
4. When you stretch yourself and make yourself uncomfortable, you’re more likely to experience growth, because growth comes from discomfort and pain, not doing the same things repeatedly and hoping things will improve.  
5. If you see yourself where you want to be, you are more likely to become what you think you are. Instead of saying, “I’m gonna be,” say, “I am.” It will fool your brain and begin manifesting outcomes to make it happen. Scientific research strongly supports the power of present-tense affirmations and visualization in achieving goals. Neuroscience studies using fMRI scans have shown that visualizing an action activates many of the same neural pathways as physically performing it, with Harvard Medical School research demonstrating that mental practice alone can increase muscle strength by 13.5%. Dr. Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset and Dr. Richard Wiseman’s research on the “As If” Principle confirm that people who believe in their current ability to develop skills and act “as if” they are already successful are significantly more likely to achieve their goals. This works through a combination of neural pathway development and activation of the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), which helps us notice opportunities aligned with our self-image, creating a powerful self-fulfilling cycle where our beliefs shape our actions and outcomes.

Scientific research from several disciplines validates this concept. A 2013 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that when people labeled themselves as “being” something (e.g., “I am a healthy eater”) versus “becoming” something (“I want to be a healthy eater”), they were significantly more likely to make choices that reinforced that identity. Additionally, neuroscience research using EEG measurements has shown that when people use present-tense self-talk, it activates the left prefrontal cortex — an area associated with motivation and goal-directed behavior — more strongly than future-tense statements. This aligns with studies in sports psychology where athletes who visualized themselves as already possessing target skills showed measurable performance improvements, with one notable study at the University of Chicago demonstrating up to 24% better performance among athletes who practiced present-tense visualization versus those focusing on future goals.

Those five things will make more difference in living your dream life than anything else you can do. Hard work alone isn’t enough. But on top of manifestation and goals, it’s critical to manage your attitude. Here’s why:

People who are naturally negative live shorter lives and get sicker more often.
Research consistently shows that negative thinking and pessimism correlate with poorer health outcomes and shorter lifespans. Multiple large-scale studies, including the Finnish Kuopio Study and the Women’s Health Initiative, have found that pessimistic people face significantly higher risks of cardiovascular disease, cancer, and premature death. For example, pessimistic men showed twice the risk of cardiovascular death, while negative women had a 30% higher risk of coronary heart disease. Studies at the University of Kentucky demonstrated that negative emotions can suppress immune system function, leading to increased susceptibility to illness and slower healing

Research consistently shows that optimistic people not only experience greater happiness, they also tend to enjoy better physical health outcomes. Positive thinkers have stronger immune systems, lower rates of cardiovascular disease, and greater resilience against stress. Their optimistic outlook often leads them to make healthier lifestyle choices, like maintaining regular exercise routines and following balanced diets, as they believe their actions will yield positive results. Moreover, when faced with health challenges, positive thinkers typically cope more effectively, following treatment plans more diligently and recovering more quickly from illnesses and injuries. Their social connections also tend to be stronger, as their upbeat attitude draws others to them, creating supportive networks that further enhance both their mental and physical well-being. Even in difficult circumstances, their ability to find silver linings and maintain hope helps them navigate challenges with greater emotional resilience, leading to lower rates of anxiety and depression.

My Negative Friend Chris

One of my closest friends was one of the most negative people I’ve ever met. To this day I’m not sure why I liked spending time with him, but I guess it was rooted in having worked together and having good times when we were much younger. One day I lectured him about the power of a positive mindset, and he in turn lectured me about how that was all nonsense and “of course I can say that because I’ve lived a charmed life and had opportunity handed to me.” There is some truth to that, but his negativity often resulted in him losing jobs (no one wants to hear it) and eventually dying a horrific early death. Somehow I think he felt better being negative. It turns out that studies have shown that verbal aggression can trigger the release of dopamine and other neurochemicals that create a reward response in the brain. 

What to do next?

Last week I mentioned advice given by the father of my high school girlfriend. He took me aside one day and told me that I was one of the most negative people he had ever met, and that if I did not change that, I’d live an unhappy life and probably die young. It turns out my girlfriend put him up to it. He taught me how to rethink how I think. And instead of resisting his advice, I changed. It wasn’t easy because my natural response was to go negative. After decades, it’s still my natural response, yet I force myself to turn my head around. 

Tony Robbins talks about how the “reptilian brain,” our subconscious, is designed to protect us from wild animals, always looking for problems so we can escape them. He says we have to be aware that it’s there, ignore it, and turn on a different mindset. (I highly recommend a trip to one of his events.)

So if you’re being negative, or if you’re not goal-oriented, or if you’re spending your time wondering why you’re not achieving what you want, maybe it’s time to rethink how you’re thinking. It worked for me, and it will work for you.

Eric Rhoads

The twinkling of Christmas lights stretches for miles across the Texas landscape as dawn breaks outside my window. Inside our cozy home, the scent of pine needles and a roaring fire mingles with my morning coffee while I cuddle up under a thick blanket, fending off the unusual chill in the air that makes it feel more like Christmas than our typical Texas weather.

A Christmas Request

A few weeks ago, my college-age son approached us with an exciting proposition: joining his four best friends on a pre-Christmas adventure to Brazil. They planned to hike, surf, sail, and immerse themselves in the local culture. Of course, they hoped we’d contribute to their expedition. After careful consideration, we agreed it would create wonderful memories — with one crucial condition. He had to be home before Christmas. As seasoned travelers ourselves, we knew how easily holiday reunions could be derailed by flight delays, so we requested he return two days early, just in case.

Wishing Things Would Never Change

As our children grow, mature, and begin falling in love, we’re acutely aware that our time together as just our family unit of five — without spouses or partners — is finite. While relationships are blossoming, this Christmas remains boyfriend- and girlfriend-free. Though we eagerly anticipate welcoming new members into our family someday, we cherish what might be our last Christmas as our original quintet.

Moments Remembered

My son’s travel request transported me back to my first European adventure, at 19. With two weeks of pure joy coming to an end, I couldn’t bear to leave. I called my boss requesting three extra days, only to be met with an ultimatum: “NO! And if you’re not back on time, you’re fired!” His reaction blindsided me, and honestly, it made me furious — those three days seemed so inconsequential. But I dutifully returned.

Perhaps it was this memory that sparked my intuition: My son would fall in love with Brazil and want to extend his stay. Sure enough, the text arrived. His friends’ parents had agreed to the extension, and he wanted to stay.

How Can We Say No?

Now we face our own dilemma. Do we prioritize our desire for family unity at Christmas, or do we let him follow his wanderlust? His decision remains uncertain until tomorrow. But he’s an adult now, and he needs to make his choices without the weight of parental guilt. Having stood in his shoes, I suspect the allure of Brazil will outshine another Christmas at home. If this proves to be our last Christmas as our original family unit, I’ll be disappointed — but I’ll adapt.

Yet a darker thought intrudes: What if this is our last Christmas together, period? What if it’s the last for one of his siblings? Would we regret our decision?

Unexpected Change

The question of how many Christmases we have left together haunts me. When my father passed away three years ago, everything changed. Decades of Christmas celebrations with my parents and extended family ended with his departure. Now my brothers and their families have created their own traditions. What will happen when we’re gone?

The realization that we have a finite number of Christmases ahead is sobering. As we age, we understand just how precious these shared holiday moments become. This makes the possibility of my son’s absence even more poignant.

If you knew this was your last Christmas with your family, what would you do differently? 

What would you plan? 

What words would you make sure to say? 

What legacy would you want to cement?

My parents and grandparents lived into their mid-90s, seeming eternal, until they weren’t. I’m profoundly grateful for their dedication to keeping our family connected and traditions alive. I can still taste the joy of licking the icing bowl while making Christmas cookies with my grandmother. I remember sitting on the stairs at her house, reading the Christmas story from the Bible before opening presents — a tradition we’ve passed on to our children. I cherish the memory of setting a place at the dinner table for baby Jesus to keep Christmas centered on its true meaning, and decorating the tree with precious heirloom ornaments that grew more meaningful with each passing year.

While we hope for long lives together, this Christmas deserves special attention. Treat every person you love as if it’s your last holiday season together. You’ll appreciate both them and the moment more deeply.

May you have a blessed Christmas.

Eric Rhoads

There comes a time when the question of legacy weighs heavy on our minds. Perhaps it’s triggered by a milestone birthday or simply the growing awareness of our mortality — that silent companion that makes us wonder what traces we’ll leave behind when we’re gone.

But what are the odds of truly being remembered? Even the brightest stars fade from collective memory. Consider how time has swept away countless authors, performers, and pioneers who once commanded the world’s attention. Yes, a rare few — the Shakespeares, the Einsteins, the Monets — have transcended their eras to become eternal fixtures in human consciousness. Yet mention Johnny Carson to today’s youth and you’ll receive blank stares, despite his decades of cultural dominance. Even most U.S. presidents are not remembered.

The Ego Dance

Still, my ego persists in this peculiar dance, urging me to carve something permanent into the bedrock of history. Why this relentless drive? Even now, the achievements that once defined me remain unknown to my own children, and most of what I’ve accomplished will likely drift into the mist of forgotten things, preserved only in the memories of those closest to me.

Perhaps the real question isn’t how to be remembered, but why we’re so haunted by the fear of being forgotten. What if our true legacy isn’t measured in plaques and history books, but in the quiet ripples we send through the lives we touch?

Finding My Legacy

I’ve considered a bevy of legacy projects — more books, shows of my artwork, exhibitions of portraits painted of me — but nothing will significantly improve the chances of being remembered. So maybe the key is to stop fretting about being remembered and instead focus on the short term. How will I impact and change the lives of those around me?

Big Impression from an Unknown Man

The father of my high school girlfriend will never be remembered by anyone but his family. He did nothing earth-shattering. Yet his impact on my life, with his advice to me, has carried me through decades. He made a legacy in my heart. His thoughtfulness, his willingness to take a chance and share some of what he was seeing, make him stand out as one of the heroes in my life. So much so that I dedicated a book to him. He carved an impression on my heart that is profoundly important to me.

A man I once coached briefly at a party told me 10 years later that I had given him the courage to build his company, which became a significant venture. I didn’t even remember what I’d said.

How many hearts have you and I left an impression on? How many people have we touched so that our legacy stays with them?

Generational Teaching

My grandmother implanted her legacy by teaching me the Bible and leading me to Christ. I never thought to ask her who taught her. Probably her father, my great-grandfather, who was a preacher who planted multiple churches. But who taught him? His mother or father, or a friend? Where did the teaching originate? In theory, it could be traced back to the stories in the Bible from the original authors.

Beat It

A legacy does not have to have your name attached to it. If your ideas, your advice, your teachings live on, then you’ve done well — if those things have been valuable. But what about the man who beats his children because his father beat him, because his grandfather beat him, because his great-grandfather beat his son? Sometimes we have to break the legacies of our past. They say the sins of the father carry on for seven generations.

For some, life just happens. Their life is a reaction. For others, life has a plan and a purpose. I have people in my life who were intentional about the lessons they shared with me. Yet I’m more spontaneous and hope that my kids will get the same benefit I received. (I’m guessing I need to be more intentional.)

My Internal Struggle

It’s unknown to me why fame has always been a seductress. Her lure drove me into radio, and I still struggle with the desire for fame and attention. I’m sure it’s rooted in some insecurity hidden deep within my psyche, yet I don’t understand it, and frankly, it’s kind of annoying to be craving attention everywhere.

Fleeting Moments

As I reflect on the nature of legacy and our desire to be remembered, I’ve come to realize that true impact often lies in the small, seemingly insignificant moments we share with others. The advice that changes a life, the kindness that inspires hope, the lessons that shape character — these are the building blocks of a meaningful legacy.

Fame and widespread recognition may be fleeting, but the positive influence we have on individuals can ripple through generations, often in ways we’ll never fully comprehend. Our true legacy isn’t measured by how many people know our name, but by how many lives we’ve touched and improved.

What can you do to fuel that legacy?

• Focus on quality interactions: Strive to make each interaction with others meaningful. You never know when a simple conversation or act of kindness might profoundly impact someone’s life.
• Be intentional: While spontaneity has its charm, being intentional about sharing wisdom, kindness, and support can create lasting positive effects on those around you.
• Break negative cycles: If you’ve inherited harmful patterns or behaviors, make a conscious effort to break them. Your legacy can be one of positive change and growth.
• Teach and mentor: Share your knowledge and experiences with others, especially the younger generation. This is how valuable lessons and wisdom persist through time. We have brilliant artists today because great artists passed their legacy of technique on through generations.
• Embrace your unique impact: Remember that you don’t need to be famous or widely known to make a difference. Your sphere of influence, no matter how small, is significant.
• Live with purpose: Instead of chasing fame or recognition, focus on living a life aligned with your values and goals. This authenticity will naturally lead to meaningful connections and impact.
• Cultivate gratitude: Regularly acknowledge those who have positively influenced your life. This practice not only honors their legacy, it makes you more aware of your own potential impact on others.

In the end, the most enduring legacies are often invisible to the naked eye but felt deeply in the hearts of those whose lives we’ve touched. By shifting our focus from being remembered to making a difference, we can create a legacy that truly matters — one of love, wisdom, and positive change that ripples through time, touching lives in ways we may never fully know.

Eric Rhoads

It’s as dark as a shadow’s whisper and silent as the space between heartbeats. The sun isn’t even thinking about peeking its bright head over the distant mountain. No birds are tweeting; they won’t awaken for at least another hour. The world holds its breath in these last moments of night, when even the wind seems to have tucked itself away to sleep. The darkness wraps around everything like a thick velvet cloak, making familiar shapes into mysterious silhouettes that stand guard over the sleeping earth.

Getting ZZZZs
The dogs are still snoring peacefully, their breath echoing from all the way across the house. Carefully and quietly in my stocking feet, I tiptoe cautiously through the kitchen, avoiding the coffeemaker so I don’t wake the dogs and my wife. Silently I slip out, suitcase in hand, headed for the airport. The keys jingle softly in my pocket — a sound that suddenly seems as loud as church bells clanging in this pre-dawn stillness. Each creak of the back door’s hinges feels like it could shatter the delicate quiet, but somehow the peaceful breathing from the bedroom remains unbroken.

Sneaking Out

The morning dew has already settled on my car, its droplets barely visible because I don’t dare flick a switch to turn on the lights. The bitter cold bites away at my warm face, shocking my system into full alertness more effectively than any cup of coffee. My breath forms ghostly clouds in the darkness, dissipating into the still air like secrets. The car door’s click seems to echo across the neighborhood as I ease it shut, wincing at even this small intrusion into the pre-dawn silence. I say a silent goodbye to the darkened windows of home, where my wife sleeps on, unaware of my departure into this suspended moment between night and day. 

Headlights are bright and the road is empty as if no one on earth has a reason to be out on a Sunday before dawn. But my arrival at the airport tells a different story … one of frenetic drama and security lines that twist and turn like an ancient serpent. Reality sets in as I bump my way through the crowds of sleepy people who are less alert than they should be.

The Flight to See the Back of My Eyelids

Thrilled, as I arrive at my seat, to find I have a row to myself, I immediately drift off to sleep. Am I dreaming all this? Then a jolt awake, realizing I’ve got to send you this note. I pull out my tablet, ticking away while everyone snores around me. Is it possible to upload Sunday Coffee on the plane’s spotty internet? If you receive this, you’ll know. I won’t know till I arrive at my destination sometime in the next two hours. 

Old Friends

Upon arrival, I’ll visit the home of a dear old friend I worked with when we were both under 20. It’s a chance to relive old war stories of our days on the radio before I depart for a week of company meetings in Raleigh, NC. 

Why is it that someone sticks? Someone I worked with for less than two years has been in my life for decades, and seeing him is always a joy. I’ve come in early and gone out of my way to make sure we connect on a rare visit to his city.

Baskets of people from the years of my life are not on my list of people I want to stay in touch with. Yet a very few others are precious to me for some reason. What differentiates them?

Good Times

If I were forced to articulate it, my answer would default to great memories and high integrity and people who truly care. I have had lots of great times with low-integrity people as well, but at some point I had to stop showing up in their lives because they brought out the worst in me. Maturity helped me make the realization that though I loved some people, being around them was toxic, and in some cases, downright dangerous. 

DIVORCE

Have you ever had to divorce a friend? I’ve never made it an issue, never approached them and said, “We can’t be friends anymore.” Why go to that trouble — why create concern or drama? Over the decades people have drifted in and out of my life, and, noticing this, I just drifted a little sooner, quietly in the background, with an occasional Christmas card. 

If there were a test of whether someone is to stay in my life I’d ask these questions…

Do they care about me, or do they only care about themselves? I’ve discovered that in most conversations, few ever ask about me; they only talk about themselves. I’m OK with that. Sometimes people need to feel special and be appreciated. But if everything is always about them, and if they are not exhibiting some form of caring, or are never interested in what’s going on in my life, I’m reconsidering how much I’ll invest in that relationship. 

Are they kind or abusive? Everyone has bad days, but when every encounter is filled with negativity and drama, I’m not going out of my way to spend time with them. Kind people get more attention.

Are they stuck in the same place? I’ve had lifelong friends who are always pushing the limits, exploring new ideas, and others who got stuck at some point of their lives and have not grown. For some, being the high school quarterback was the highlight of their life. I love touching base with old friends, but I’ll spend more time with people who are interesting and growing.

Do they invest in the relationship? How often do you hear from them? How often do they hear from you? What else are they doing to keep the relationship alive? Or do they only call when they need something?

Do they pass the “last month” test? If you were given one month to live and an unlimited budget to spend on time with others, who would be on that list? I know tons of people, I love most of them, but at the end of it all, other than family, there are few I’ll want to spend that last valuable time with. Are they someone you’ll regret not seeing?

Maturity has a wonderful way of defining how we spend our time and who we’re willing to spend it with. I used to feel obligated to spend time with people I thought were my friends, but when I realized that they were not really a good fit, I had to let them go. Time is precious.

What about you? Do you need to trim any branches of deadwood off your friendship tree so you get the best fruit from the healthiest branches?

Eric Rhoads

PS: We’re putting a basket in the center of our Thanksgiving table. Every phone goes into the basket and does not come out during dinner, and ideally, not for hours after. We want people engaged with one another, forcing them to interact, play games, or do something other than looking at social media. Let’s all seek ways to engage more, and find common ground.

PS2: I decided to create a day to help artists (painters, photographers, crafters) with their 2025 planning and to give them the core skills needed to have a great 2025. I announced it, and hundreds have already signed up. HOLD THE DATE, January 10, all day. You can learn more about it at www.streamlineartevents.com/marketing.

PS3: Retreat update: My February WINTER ESCAPE art retreat in St. Augustine is about 52% sold out already. I’m guessing it will sell out between now and Christmas. https://winterartescape.com/

My Adirondack spring retreat in early June is almost sold out. Still a few seats left. www.paintadirondacks.com

My fall retreat has only 22 seats left. This year it’s in Dore County, Wisconsin (which is stunningly beautiful). www.fallcolorweek.com

PS4: Like most, we have a Black Friday sale for the videos we’ve produced. Check it out at www.painttube.tv. 

You can receive these letters every week. Subscribe here. It’s my gift to you.

It’s quiet and peaceful around the house. One of our kids is home from college; the others will show up by Thanksgiving day. And soon, the house will be filled with cheer and laughter as the holidays begin and visitors begin to arrive from other places. It will be one giant slumber party. And then the house will be quiet again, one week from today.

Thanksgiving Fits

As a child, Thanksgiving and Christmas were my two favorite holidays. I loved them because it was a gathering of family, time to run around like crazy with my cousins, time to see people we only saw at holidays.

But some Thanksgivings stand out as overly dramatic … like the time something upset me and I hurled my plate of food across the room out of anger. I remember my aunt saying, “That kid is spoiled and needs to be punished.” She was right. I had a bad temper as a child. 

Most disagreements were about which football game to watch or which team to root for. If there was political discord, I don’t remember much of it. But this Thanksgiving may be different. 

Wounded

This year, there are a lot of hurt feelings and wounded people who did not get their way in the election, feeling as though anyone who voted for the President-elect must be out of their minds. Of course those who did vote for him were feeling the same way about his opponent’s supporters. This is probably what it was like during the Civil War. Families became divided and Thanksgiving dinners became unbearably difficult.

Some families will gather and celebrate their win together, with everyone in agreement, but most families will have some members who are in disagreement.

Disagreement is healthy. Discussion is healthy. But as a nation, we’ve become so deeply divided, more than I can remember in my lifetime. 

Will you allow it to divide your family?

We’re all responsible adults, and we have all made up our minds based on what we believe is best for our country. Some may be critical of where you got your news, and wonder whether the full story was told, but we each have choices to listen to or read the sources we trust. And though a friendly, spirited debate can be fun, it is unlikely anything you say will change the minds of others. Most of us stay stuck on our decisions.

Family is the most important asset any of us have. Even though you may only connect with crazy Uncle Harry or insane Aunt Martha or only see your wayward brothers or sisters once a year, we should embrace our time together. Our parents or grandparents would want it, and to me there is nothing more precious than when I have all my kids at home on the holidays. And if I can see cousins, aunts, uncles, and close friends, it’s a bonus.

Who will you be this Thanksgiving?

Will you take the high road, and instead of rubbing salt in tender open wounds, be respectful and avoid bringing it up? 

Will you choose to be mean or vicious or get even? Or will you embrace family for the sake of family? Siblings don’t always need to fight.

Consider taking the high road. Maybe avoidance of certain topics is the best way to keep the waters calm. Instead, plan some fun things like games. Maybe pull out old family pictures to reinforce the things you used to have in common.

Holidays are about creating memories, preferably good ones. Not memories of people blowing up and storming out.

If you’re disappointed in the outcome of the election, ask yourself if your family members treated you badly when your team was in control for the past cycle. Were they treating you with respect even though they were disappointed? Will you do the same this time?

It starts with treating others the way you want to be treated.

We never know what lies ahead. With talk of WW III,  family members present this Thanksgiving may not be with us again. And we can never predict who will survive another year. Don’t look back wishing you had connected on a deeper level or regretting that you battled instead of being loving.

Remember, Love conquers all. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: We’re putting a basket in the center of our Thanksgiving table. Every phone goes into the basket and does not come out during dinner, and ideally, not for hours after. We want people engaged with one another, forcing them to interact, play games, or do something other than looking at social media. Let’s all seek ways to engage more, and find common ground.

PS2: I decided to create a day to help artists (painters, photographers, crafters) with their 2025 planning and to give them the core skills needed to have a great 2025. I announced it, and hundreds have already signed up. HOLD THE DATE, January 10, all day. You can learn more about it at www.streamlineartevents.com/marketing.

PS3: Retreat update: My February WINTER ESCAPE art retreat in St. Augustine is about 52% sold out already. I’m guessing it will sell out between now and Christmas. https://winterartescape.com/

My Adirondack spring retreat in early June is almost sold out. Still a few seats left. www.paintadirondacks.com

My fall retreat has only 22 seats left. This year it’s in Dore County, Wisconsin (which is stunningly beautiful). www.fallcolorweek.com

PS4: Like most, we have a Black Friday sale for the videos we’ve produced. Check it out at www.painttube.tv. 

You can receive these letters every week. Subscribe here. It’s my gift to you.

A slight chill is in the humid Texas air. My eyes are squinting as the warm yellow sun pops up over the distant purple hill, turning it more pink. Light is splashing everything, and the air is starting to warm up a bit as I sit here on my old wicker couch on the back porch.

Playing Coach

One of the most fun things I get to do is coach younger people who want to become successful. I love sharing any wisdom I may have accumulated — acquired through decades of work, decades of mistakes, and decades of pain.

Instant Success

Living in a fast-paced Instagram-and-SnapChat world, all the gurus are online sharing 90-second sound bites of wisdom and selling success courses. It’s really no different than when I first craved success; only the delivery method is different. I listened to tons of cassettes, and later CDs, learning from the hot gurus at the time. Of course I’ve attended dozens, maybe hundreds, of seminars, classes, and events in my career. In fact, I was at the first, or one of the first, Tony Robbins events in Fort Lauderdale when he first launched his career, and at another event he held so small, there were only 30 of us in the room. He of course has led a charge to train millions, and his content has evolved and is better than ever. 

Every guru has something great to offer, and I always encourage young people to pick some that resonate with them and double down to buy everything their preferred experts offer, attend everything they can, and formulate their own ideas for what fits their personality. An education is a great value at any cost.

Rarely Spoken

There are some things I rarely hear success gurus talk about, yet they are just as important as anything they have to offer, if not more. If I were to try and sell or market these things, they’re not sexy enough, yet they are just as powerful when combined with the tools and ideas being taught by others.

Success Takes Many Forms

Success isn’t all about business, it’s about living a successful, exciting, and rich life. Business or financial success is only a small piece of it, and it’s overrated if it interferes with your having a rich life in other ways. If you’re miserable operating your business or job, working so hard that you don’t have a life outside it, being so obsessed that it kills your relationships, then you’re not a success. Success is about balance in all parts of your life. Business or work or finance is only a fraction. What about family success, spiritual success, marriage or relationship success, health success, mental success, hobby success? If you lost your job or took away your business, what would you have left?

Competitive Success

Someone once asked me about my competitors and why I tend to do so much better than they do. It made me pause and explore the deep crevices of my mind. After all, every time I turn around, someone is taking something we’ve developed and launching their own version with the intent of building their own business. I can’t blame them, but they are going about it all wrong. I’ll share how they can crush me. (By the way, we honor our competitors — there is room for us all, and they too do good things.)

Start Here

I once met a wise man who had spent his life in advertising, handling some giant accounts. When I’m around wise people, my curiosity takes over and I try to glean as much as possible from their decades of wisdom. He reinforced something worth repeating. “Make sure your product is the finest in the market, so good that it’s difficult for others to even come close when they copy you. So good that it solves a giant problem for the user. It has to be exceptional. And ideally, you have something no one else has, and when they copy you, you have something else ready that’s even better and more unique.” 

This is a killer business principle, often overlooked. But it really applies to success in life. What can you do to be the best friend for others, someone who steps up and is exceptional to help the people around you? What can you do that goes above and beyond? How can you be the best mom, the best son or daughter, the best brother, the best friend? How can you be more exceptional and give them what they need more than others?

But that’s only a small piece of the puzzle. Almost anyone can figure that out. But is there one most important thing..

As I ponder my successes and failures, I’ve discovered success is the opposite of what most people will tell you. A mentor of mine once said, “The key to making money is to not be emotional about what you’re selling,” yet I think the opposite is true for me. I am emotional. I’ve always told my team that we do what we love, we never pick anything we don’t love. As a young man I was passionate about radio, so I ended up founding a radio industry trade magazine (which I still own). I had a chance to add other magazines to build my business, which would have been practical,  but I resisted. I did not want to do magazines about auto parts or dentistry, because I did not care. I believe people can tell when you’re in it for the money versus being in it for passion. Plus, why spend your life doing something you don’t love? That can feel more like prostitution. Life is too short to focus only on money. 

Using Failure to Change Lives

Discovering art for myself, and moving into art, was one of the best things I ever did. Thankfully, I had horrible experiences learning. I had instructors tell me to give up, that I was not cut out for art. I persisted, but I watched friends get discouraged and drop out. But because it was hard for me and others, I have spent my life passionately solving that problem so it would never happen to anyone else. As a result I was able to help more people than ever because they could sense that I understood them. People respond when they see that you care deeply, that you’re not faking it, and when you are more about them than you are about yourself. 

Convincing Commitment

When the pandemic started, I created a show and hosted it daily, seven days a week for seven months, and five days a week since then. The show has had almost 17 million views since we started. Yet when the pandemic was over, people told me, “You should cut back to one day a week,” to which I responded, “Anybody can do one day a week, but doing five days a week shows commitment.” This is where sacrifice and commitment comes in. To be a success, you have to make personal sacrifices. People are always reading you and your intentions, and unless you’re showing up for them in a big way, they can feel your lack of commitment. People often say, “I don’t know anybody busier. I don’t know how you manage to do so much for us, thank you.” How could I possibly back off or do less when people are gaining benefit? When you’re helping others is no time to get comfortable.

Big Isn’t Always Better

Big corporations have come into my space to compete, and they make a lot of money, but audiences can tell the difference between commitment and product. I don’t want to be some big, faceless corporation where people don’t know me and my team. I don’t want to cut costs just to make more money, if it means making a product that’s less than amazing. Though sometimes cost cuts are the harsh reality of business when times are tough, I try to never cut what matters to my family of followers and my team. They are both our family; they are the reason for our success. Big companies don’t think that way, yet they can never figure out why they are not as deeply embraced.

Your Heart Revealed

People can tell your commitment. They can read your heart. The reason I push so hard on things is because I know these things can change people’s lives, and sometimes you have to jump up and down a lot to help them see what they need.

Success isn’t about tactics alone. If you want a rich life, make everything about your heart and how you can reach the hearts of others. If the intent is all financial, people can see it and feel it, just like people can sense whether someone is genuine with them or lying. The intention to solve problems and help others needs to rule all decisions. 

People tell me I’m naive. Probably. I’m sure I’d be a lot wealthier if I cut costs, treated my team badly, and looked for ways to squeeze people and lie to customers. But I could not look at myself in the mirror.

Take This Test

The true test of success … am I truly passionate? 

Am I working hard to help others have a better life? 

Am I changing the world in some way? 

Am I striving to always get better, and give people something new and better? 

Can I sleep at night or look myself in the mirror? 

Am I being honest and sincere with my customers?

Is my family happy with the time they are getting?

Success is an art. It’s the art of designing a well-balanced life, the art of serving others, the art of caring deeply. True success is never about the money alone.

Eric Rhoads

PS1: On Friday I wrapped up a four-day online art training event called Realism Live. It was life-changing for people in 14 countries and 50 states. I’ve been flooded with stories from people about how these events changed their lives, how they did not think they could ever paint but took a leap of faith and discovered how to do it, learning from the best of the best. 

Doing this is a tremendous amount of work for about 30 people. I spend hundreds of hours a year working on it, and I put everything else aside for long days for four weeks a year to make it happen. When it was over, I was invigorated and feeling as if I served people well, giving them more than they expected. I could never charge enough to pay for all the time my team and I devote to this effort. Yet people can tell we’re there for them. It makes it all worthwhile. Ultimately success is about service and sacrifice. 

My next online event is about watercolor, coming this January. It’s called Watercolor Live. 

PS 2: One of my favorite things to do is host painting retreats. I do three of them a year, which takes three weeks of my time and lots of prep work, and I love doing them because I get a week of one-on-one time with new friends, painting together and hanging out together. There is no substitute for one-on-one time with the people you serve. 

I have a new retreat designed to help people escape cold winter weather in February to paint in the sunshine. I’m holding a WINTER ESCAPE in St. Augustine Florida, America’s oldest city (and one of its most beautiful). We will paint the area for an entire week. 

Reward yourself with a Christmas or Hanukkah present, or suggest it to your family. It’s a week of painting, fun, painting at night too, and it’s going to be a blast. But it’s already half sold out after just 30 days since it was announced. 

www.WinterArtEscape.Com

PS 3: The Plein Air Convention also allows me to connect and serve. It’s a big event of about a thousand painters, and is happening in Reno and Lake Tahoe this year. Because it’s returning to the West, it will probably sell out fast. As it stands, we have only 268 seats left. If you wanna go, don’t take a chance of missing it.