Streaks of yellow light are streaming toward me through thick purple fog and silhouetted gnarly oak trees. I shiver as I try to extend my porch time once more before winter. Warmth hits my goosebumped skin as the light increases, and the sides of my old cabin are washed with a rich red-orange glow. 

Stage Exhaustion

Last week exhausted me — being on stage, using my voice more in one day than in most months, giving and getting hugs from enthusiastic artists, wall-to-wall meetings between stage time, entertaining our VIP guests and faculty in the evenings till the wee hours. And exhausting as it was, I feel like the luckiest man alive to be able to serve others and give them a special week of high energy, learning from the best artists in the world, and time with old and new friends.

Joy and Exuberance

A recent realization has been that my art is bringing people together, and even if I have to put my ability to do paintings on hold so I have time to do things like last week’s Figurative Art Convention & Expo, it’s worth it to see the joy and exuberance in the faces at FACE. Dozens, probably hundreds, told me it was a life-changing experience, the best of anything they had attended, and that they got more than they expected. I feel like I’ve done my job.

True Purpose

Comparing notes with a friend recently, we both determined that life is better when we’re changing the lives of others. Though it used to be about the money for me, it’s now about the gold … the golden glow in people’s hearts when they experience change, when they have a revelation or an aha moment. I live for those moments, and that encourages me to find ways to give more.

Digging Deeper

And for every convention session, panel, demo, or other event people could attend, there were that many and more personal interactions where I felt I was able to coach and counsel people who had lost their way, who needed someone to point out what they could not see, to offer clarity where they had none. The two things they all had in common were self-doubt and being too hard on themselves.

Life on Override

Beating ourselves up, negative self-talk, and insecurity are the games we play in our own heads. I play them all the time, even though I was raised in a positive environment. It’s a self-preservation mechanism rooted in our reptilian brain. It’s natural for the mind to protect us, and it’s unnatural for us to override its protection. Yet overriding is the only way to escape those voices and build an awesome life.

What do the voices in your head say to you?

I wanted to understand what mine were saying, but most of the voices tend to be at an unconscious level. So I made a point of writing them down every time I noticed one. I knew I had head trash, but no idea just how much.

Then I took the list and asked myself, “Is this true?” and, “If it is true, can I change it? How?” I also asked myself, “What would be a better thought I can substitute?”

Have you ever had something come out of your mouth and you didn’t even know how or why? I also started writing down my automatic responses to others. 

The Monsters Are Hurting You

Those are the monsters lurking inside your subconscious mind, and they are blurted out, as though they were natural responses to protect you. But instead of protecting you, they are hurting and limiting you and others.

If you do both of these exercises for a week, you’ll learn more about yourself in that week than you’ve learned most of your lifetime. Just pull up a notes app on your smartphone and write down every negative thought whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying them. It’s almost better than therapy.

Mama Calling

Ever hear someone say, “I find myself sounding like my mother when dealing with my own kids, even though I swore I would never say those things”? That’s the instinctive monster inside, most of which was implanted generations earlier and passed along.

You get to be the lucky one. You can break the cycle.

The weak never break their chains — the strong break them. It starts by telling yourself you can overcome any possible obstacle, no matter how difficult, and that the ability to overcome anything lies in your head.

Are You Tired Yet?

The other good news is that the weak can become strong. All it takes is getting sick of the results you’re getting now and being determined to overcome the voices in your head.

Fantasy World

We all tell ourselves stories and lies. We all live a certain percentage of our lives in a fantasy world. Those lies cause the drama in our lives, our families, our friendships, and in our own heads, preventing the best possible life from happening.

“Oh, Eric, I don’t deserve the best possible life,” you say? That’s the first monster to slay. Of course you deserve it. Why wouldn’t you? (More monsters will come out about now.)

Slay the dragons in your mind, and you’ll live the life of a true dragon slayer.

Start today.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Words simply cannot express the gratitude I have for the people of the FACE convention. We had a faculty filled with generosity to serve others, attendees who were on fire with enthusiasm and energy, and I feel like the most hugged man on earth (one of the perks of my job, I guess). Thank you for allowing me to serve. Well over half the people attending signed up for next year, which is unheard of this early for a convention. We are very excited about seeing you in Baltimore next fall.

Tomorrow I’m off to a week in New York for our annual Radio Forecast conference at the Harvard Club, and then to Washington, D.C., where I’ve been invited to offer my opinions to the commissioners at the Federal Communications Commission. If we don’t talk, have a wonderful Thanksgiving — though I fully intend to report next weekend before the holiday. And if you have a chance, invite someone to Thanksgiving who needs a family to spend the day with. No one should be alone if they don’t want to be. It’s something my parents did every year on Thanksgiving and something we try to do.

Oh, and if you encounter someone who needs a jolt of Sunday Coffee, pass it on.

Flickering, crackling, and the soft smell of burning wood come from the old fireplace, tucked away in a tiny sitting room at the hotel here in Williamsburg, Virginia. The decor is Early American — pineapple-patterned wallpaper, old brown furniture, and portraits of presidents.

It’s quiet here, most guests are not yet awake, and no one has discovered this little reading nook. I hear the occasional distant ding from the service bell at the front desk, done to call the bellman like in the old days.

Going Back in Time

My morning walk brought me back to another time, a different era. This old town made up of original buildings from the Revolutionary War era is tightly closed up, but later will bustle with tourists and kids who will march alongside the red-coated soldiers. Later will be the smell of baking bread from the bakery, whose old brick oven uses real fire. The candy maker will be handing out samples, and you can go into the tin shop to see cups being made, or the print shop as they make reproductions of old Revolutionary War posters one sheet at a time, with moveable type. It’s truly a place every family should experience at least once. I came here as a kid, then once as an early married couple, and now, for my Figurative Art Convention & Expo (FACE), which starts today.

A Rockefeller Vision

Last week I mentioned that I was grateful for the wealthy who built great homes and art collections that because museums. Today I’m thankful for John D. Rockefeller, who had the vision to create Colonial Williamsburg by buying up houses in different villages and moving them here to create a living museum. Today we’ll do a plein air paint-out (outdoor painting) in the streets with costumed models before the official start of the convention at four.

The Last Year at Home

Living a life of travel has its benefits, but few things will drag me away from home next year; it is our last season with the triplets, who go off to college in the fall. Life will change for them, and for us. Though I’ll need to keep working to pay the college bills, I’d be working anyway because I love what I do. But I’ll miss feeding the kids each morning, chatting with them randomly on the couch, eating dinner together — even now a rare occasion since everyone is off to jobs and friends. Soon it will be time to reinvent, to ready ourselves for this new chapter.

The Storms of Life

Life is like a series of storms. A hurricane comes in slowly, with ample notice to get ready and get out, but a tornado comes with no notice. It just shows up. We’ve known college was coming since the kids were born, preparing little by little by setting money aside, yet like most, we don’t do all the prep we should until we get closer and closer to the event. I consider knowing in advance and being able to prepare a gift.

Storms, tornadoes, or other sudden, uncontrollable events also happen. Or, as is the case now, fires that sneak up and force you out, if you’re lucky enough to get out. It’s then we have to rebuild, often from scratch. I’ve been closer to this than I want to because of friends who are suffering through fires and losing everything, and friends who lost everything last year and the year before.

The Power of Reinvention

When storms come, we have to reinvent. One friend had enough of the fires and decided not to rebuild, but to move here to Texas (we have plenty of room, and y’all are welcome here). Another stayed in California but moved to a different community and started a life as an art gallery owner. 

Being Happier than Ever

If you live long enough and get out a lot, you start knowing people afflicted by all kinds of disasters, and almost everyone has told me that their disaster was the best thing that ever happened to them, though it was horrific at the time. Disaster or tragedy force reinvention. Most are happier and have told me that they had things in the back of their minds that they wanted to do, but never got around to doing them because of the ties or strings they had.

For your sake (and mine) I hope YOU don’t have to face storms, fire, or a tragedy that forces you to reinvention. But I do hope that if you feel the need to reinvent, you don’t wait for a disaster.

What Do You Dream?

Do you have things in the back of your mind you always wished you had done? Places you always wished you had tried living? Careers you would like to switch to?

Don’t wait for a storm.

Roving Gypsies

Laurie and I have a sense of adventure. We find it exhilarating to make new friends and try new places. Since we’ve been married we’ve moved several times to new communities. We’ve lived in Florida, the Bay Area of California in two different homes, and here in Austin in two different homes. And we’re excited about the prospect of living somewhere new once the kids are in college, or soon after if the kids stay in Texas. Though it’s hard to leave friends, we can always visit them (some we see only a couple of times a year anyway because we’re all so busy). 

The prospect of reinvention is exciting. Laurie’s big dream is to get an RV and go around to visit people we know or work with. Visiting clients and art shows. She can drive, and I can work in the back. Sounds fun to me.

I’d like to try living in Italy or Spain or France (or all three). And I think it would be fun to do the RV thing there. And I want to build a dream art studio somewhere.

Aligning Your Dreams

One thing that’s important is to get in alignment. It would not be fair for one of us to pull rank and force the other along on a dream they don’t share. Why not sit down with a sheet of paper with three columns, “My Dreams, “Your Dreams,” and “Shared Dreams.” Then you’ve communicated and can pick the shared dreams you want to pursue.

Out of Alignment

Laurie and I loved living in Northern California. One day we decided to put our dream house up for sale because we felt obligated to move back East to be with aging parents. One day one of us said, “I really love it here. I don’t want to move.” Then the other said, “I thought you wanted to move so I was going along with it. I don’t want to move either.” So we took our house off the market and stayed a few more years.

How about today you have a reinvention discussion? Ask yourself some questions. Ask your spouse or partner some questions.

What have we always wanted to do but never done?

Where have we always wanted to live but never tried?

What dreams do you have, what dreams do I have, and which do we share?

Now, when you get to the point of practicality, shove it to the side. “Yeah, but we can’t afford that dream” is a common thing that gets in the way.

Dreams Overcome Roadblocks

I’ve found that if you have big, audacious, out-of-the-world dreams, things you both want so badly, you might be willing to sacrifice an old dream that is anchoring you. For instance, if the dream is to go live in Italy, ask what’s holding you back?

Maybe it’s the house. But if the dream is so big, sell the house.

Obligation is another dream killer. “Yeah, but we have to stay and take care of Mom.” It’s the right thing to do, but have you talked to Mom about it, or your siblings? I have friends who felt they were stuck but found out a sister was dreaming of moving back and living with Mom to take care of her. So they left to pursue their dream and visited on occasion. If you can’t overcome roadblocks, you can at least build the dream, craft a plan, and pull the trigger on the dream the second the roadblock moves.

You’ll find that if a dream has enough power, you can usually find a solution.

Which person do you want to be? 

Do you want to be the person who looks back and says, “I wish I had done the things I wanted to do?”

A Final Dream

This last October when people registered for my Fall Color Week painting adventure, there was a framed photo of a beautiful lady at the registration desk, and at our announcements all week. For privacy I won’t mention her name, but she had been to every Fall Color Week since we stated it five years ago. But after our trip to Canada last year, she died unexpectedly at a fairly young age. She once told me it was her dream to attend that event, and once she went, she looked forward to coming back every year because of the friendships. What if she had kept putting it off till the time was right? At least she lived before she died.

Are you living your dreams?

Don’t wait till a storm … or worse, the point when you can’t get out of a hospital bed. If you can walk, if you can breathe, even if you can be pushed in a wheelchair, even though it might be hard, you have dreams you need to live. We both know someday will never come unless you take action.

For most of us…

There is never enough time.

There is never enough money.

There is always something getting in the way.

There will never be perfect conditions.

You can plan it, or you can wait till you’re forced into a plan. And that plan may not include any of your dreams.

Do it now.

Eric Rhoads

PS: When we’re done here at FACE this week I’ll announce where we’re going next year and some of the rock star artists who will be coming. If you could not make it, go to the website to see who we’ve announced and book for next year (there is a 12-payment plan).

Next week I fly to New York for my annual Radio Ink Forecast event, which is held at the Harvard Club. It does not get much more elegant than that. After our day of sessions, we hold our annual “40 Most Powerful People in Radio” reception with all the high rollers in radio. I get to play host and see lots of my friends. It’s a lot of fun for me.

Then, the following morning I take a 5 a.m train to Washington, DC. I’ve been honored with an invitation to speak before the commissioners of the Federal Communications Commission to share my thoughts (along with a few other broadcasters) on what they should or should not do with regulation for radio. Though I’m trying to be cool … I’m pretty excited.

Then things settle … no more trips. We’ll get to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas and reconnect. It could be our last Christmas together if the kids fall in love in college and go to someone else’s house. We have to make it special this year.

Need a great Christmas or Hanukkah gift?

The Plein Air Convention for your favorite painter, or next year’s FACE event, or Fall Color Week for next fall when we go to the White Mountains of New Hampshire (the color is on fire), or the 10-year anniversary reunion (for new and old) of my annual Publisher’s Invitational in the Adirondacks. And because next year I’ll not have to be away from home as much, I’m working on a couple of new surprises.

Eric Rhoads

PS: There is someone in your life who needs to hear this message. I’d be honored if you would pass this on so we can give them the encouragement they need, and maybe they will become a subscriber (free) and pass it to others.

This week I’m as excited as a schoolboy. A week from today my Figurative Art Convention & Expo (FACE) begins in Williamsburg, Virginia. We’ve got some of the top artists in the world on our stage teaching their techniques. It’s open to beginners and pros, and we might have some seats left (people often wait till the last minute), but, if so, probably not more than a couple. If you want to experience this art thing of painting people and portraits, this is one of the best things you could do for yourself. I’d love to meet you. Quite a few Sunday Coffee readers have registered, never having painted before. I think that is very brave and cool. FACE is being held November 10-13; more information here. 

If you want to be in the cast for the TV show, the producers are casting it now. You can learn about that at www.TheGreatOutdoorPaintingChallenge.com.

If you would like to give a tax-deductible donation or be a sponsor, or if you want to become an executive producer with a mega donation, please drop me a note at ([email protected]).

If you want to hear what’s happening in radio, we are gathering the biggest names in radio together at the Harvard Club on November 20, and then we have a giant, elegant party in Harvard Hall afterward. You can learn more about that at www.radioinkforecast.com.

Then … things will calm down for a while and we can all enjoy the holidays.

Porches are like portals. Spending time on a porch can be recovery time, relaxing time, thinking/pondering time, and time to take our thoughts to other places.

Time here on this porch in Austin, which overlooks distant hills of grass, gnarly scrub oak trees, and faraway cattle, is always a special time, and it’s good to be back after a couple of weeks away in France and Scotland. 

In the summer I write to you from an old screened-in octagonal porch overlooking the lake that has hosted conversations for over 120 years. Each porch brings out something special in its visitors, and each inspires thought.

A Grand Experience

This past week I stood briefly on the porch of a grand estate, Gosford House, that makes Downton Abbey feel small. The old stone porch of this house, finished about 120 years ago, overlooks 5,000 acres of Scottish countryside and the sea. We stood there in the freezing cold as a troop of bagpipers marched before us, playing pipes, drums, and flutes in harmony as we said farewell to Scotland and our annual Fine Art Trip. Tears welled up in my eyes with the beauty of this old tradition and the experience of being in this special place.

When we walked into the home as a bagpiper played to welcome us, I saw the grand foyer and a marble staircase with monumental marble walls unlike anything I’ve seen before. It truly took my breath away. I could hear the gasps of my guests as they entered.

A Table for Royalty

Once inside the house and after a brief tour, we held our closing dinner at a single 60-foot-long dining room table via candlelight, in the same seats used by royalty and dignitaries of Scotland’s history. Here, I toasted my guests as we enjoyed an unparalleled experience, a dinner like no other, and a lifetime memory.

The Largest Private Art Collection in Northern Europe

Making things even more special, the house held more art than many major museums. I’m guessing 3,000 or more paintings and sculptures, including names like Titian, Rubens, Rembrandt, Sargent, the studio of DaVinci, and hundreds of others, collected for hundreds of years by the family before this house was built. I’m guessing the house was 30,000 square feet per floor, with a three-story marble foyer area that is larger than most homes. This is the largest private home I’ve ever visited, and the largest and most tasteful private collection of art I’ve seen. 

Thankful for Survival

It’s a rarity that a grand house of this magnitude survives today, with deep taxation and the costs of upkeep. Most have ended up turned over to the government for taxes, or to the Scottish National Trust, an important nonprofit that restores and maintains such houses. But many such grand houses crumble and rot in disrepair as family members try to cling to their aging homes. Thankfully, Gosford House remains in its original family, a long line of Scottish earls who have managed the delicate dance of keeping income flowing through tours, golf, and outings like ours.

Reacting to Opulence

One could have a lot of different responses to a home of this magnitude. Instead of wondering about what could have been done with all the money to help others, I choose to be grateful that its creators had such grand vision and that it’s now being shared for the world to see. It reminds me of the importance of the finest architects, the best garden designers, and taste-seeking art connoisseurs.

As we toured private homes, private collections, grand palaces, castles, and museums, I remain grateful that we can tour such places, that they have been created and are now preserved as living museums.

What Billionaires Need to Do

I remember commenting to Peter Trippi, editor-in-chief of my magazine Fine Art Connoisseur, that I wish more of today’s billionaires would exhibit such taste and vision, creating future palaces for the world to tour, or building vast art collections for the world to view. One of the ultimate gifts to the world is to build and use a grand home or palace for a lifetime, or for a few generations, then make it available for the world to see. 

Great Wealth Requires Great Responsibility

Though grand houses, estates, and palaces can become monuments to the taste of their owners, clearly we need those individuals to do great things with their wealth to change the world as well, first and foremost. Yet great wealth can do both, as proven by Rockefeller, Carnegie, and Vanderbilt. They not only helped others with foundations and institutions that continue to this day, most of them built grand estates that are now museums. If not for the vision and taste of wealthy people of the past, we would have no castles, estates, or even museums to visit. 

Rarely are such great estates built today, and rarely do we see billionaires employing the best artisans of our time to create something special that no one else could possibly afford. Thankfully, there are still some great minds building new institutions, such as the Crystal Bridges Museum in Bentonville, Arkansas, thanks to the vision and leadership of Alice Walton. But there are more museums that need to be built than there are billionaires. Museums that reflect our style and times are important for future generations.

Grand Vision Isn’t Always About Money

People with grand vision and great taste don’t always have money, yet can still leave a huge impact. Before this trip to Scotland I had never heard the name Phoebe Anna Traquair, yet seeing the murals she painted for the interior of the Song School at St. Mary’s Cathedral left a huge impression, particularly because she contributed four years of her life for the murals she donated. She found a way to leave behind grand beauty without big money. The Song School is now a must-see for every art lover visiting Scotland.

There is an important collection of modern art created by a couple of modest means who bought one or two pieces a year from young artists they believed in, using their small schoolteacher salaries. 

Great craftspeople, artists, muralists, sculptors, writers, poets need a way to leave their mark so the world can experience and enjoy it. Sadly, most will never be exposed to a wide audience. But people with great wealth can ensure that people creating great art have their work heard and seen by future generations. Patrons have built the world of beauty we see, whether through their purchase of artwork and making their homes into museums — such as that created by Isabella Stewart Gardner in Boston — or by donating to help build a monument, a museum, a building. Even those with very little can participate or contribute in some way.

Putting Beauty Where It Belongs

What concerns me is that beauty has become secondary in many societies, including our own. Though I’m not anti-profit, there tends to be too much emphasis on profit without design. Thankfully companies like Apple prove that great design can help make the biggest company in the world. Wouldn’t it be nice if Apple funded an amazing museum of today’s design with top artists so they will be remembered and thanked 200 years from now?

For those with great wealth, beauty can be offered on a grand scale, as at Gosford House, or by turning your passion and love for collecting into a museum. For instance, the Minnesota Marine Art Museum was founded by two passionate collectors, Mary Burrichter and Bob Kierlin (the founder of Fastenal), to the benefit of their community in Winona, Minnesota. On a grander scale, heiress Maja Hoffman hired Frank Geary to build an incredible destination museum to put the town of Arles in France on the map. 

The Role of Artists

Those who make art can’t just sit on it and hope to be discovered. They need to play a role in self-promotion to make sure their gift is seen by others. Too many great artists have died unknown. It’s why I devote much of my life to training artists to promote themselves. 

It’s also important for those with means to do what they can to support artists, not just with art purchases, but patronage, commissions, introductions, and finding ways to leverage those artworks into large institutions and collections where they can be seen and enjoyed by all.

Beauty to the Masses

Many of today’s wealthy have failed to recognize the value of bringing beauty to the lives of others. Charles Rennie Macintosh, William Morris, and Elbert Hubbard made it their goal to bring beauty to the masses, not just the wealthy, and the homes they built for themselves and others have become museums filled with beauty for all to see.

Lifetime Impact

I can remember my first visit to an art museum in New York as a child, and the lifelong impact of that one-hour visit. It would not have happened if Henry Clay Frick had not donated his mansion and his collection. Impacting one little boy has helped impact the world. Therefore we cannot overestimate the importance of exposing others to beauty, to design and architecture, to grand homes that help people see what can be possible, to amazing art collections that open hearts. 

Creating and preserving beauty for all to see is critical for all societies, but especially our screen-obsessed societies who need to see how life was and how life can be. Soon they will ask what more there is to life, and the answer they need to find is beauty.

We can each play a role.

In what way will you use your personal platform, your voice, your influence to create or promote beauty? 

A Difficult but Clear Choice

I had to make a choice. Spend my life becoming a great artist, or spend my life promoting and helping artists. The choice was very clear. Though I paint for passion and love, and I produce and sell a few choice pieces a year, my life is best used serving artists, exposing art, using my platform for art education, helping artists learn to promote themselves, training artists through events, books, and videos, and helping create beauty. I’ve been given a gift of vision, and it’s where I intend to spend my time.

What choices will you make? In what ways can you play a role in the creation and promotion of beauty? 

Small things matter as much as big things. In what small way can you touch others and expose them to true beauty? 

Maybe it starts with your own kids or grandkids. Maybe it’s about dragging someone to a museum or a grand house or castle. Maybe it’s collecting artists’ works. Maybe it’s using your platform, your talent, your voice to play a role. 

If you’ve been silent up till now, maybe it is time to make your voice heard and share the beauty you see or create. Our world would be pretty boring without beauty. Together you and I can make the world more civilized and less polarized by bringing back beauty.

Eric Rhoads

PS: What if you knew nothing about art but decided you wanted to learn, or at least experience being around artists? What if you could have been seated in the cafes in Paris with Monet and friends? What if you could have experienced the artists of the great Paris Salon, a hundred years ago? This beauty is possible for you. In the interest of beauty, the interest of furthering the contemporary realism art movement, and the interest of helping all artists gain more knowledge and understanding, I am gathering the finest artists in the world for a few days in November. You can come and experience this firsthand, and sit in the cafes of Williamsburg with artists who will become or already are famous. You can watch them paint, hear their philosophies, discover how to do it yourself, and even be hands on in our studio with live models and instructors. It’s called the Figurative Art Convention & Expo, and you are invited. You can learn more here.

PS2: The beauty of life is at its fullest when you can share experiences with others you love. For the past 18 days I’ve been in France painting with friends, then leading an art tour of about 50 guests through the South of France, the French Riviera, and Edinburgh, Scotland. We had life-changing experiences, visited homes, studios, castles, and museums, and even had some unheard of private experiences like the one I described above. Though the education and stimulation and art are wonderful, the truly amazing part is the friendships that develop among us all. Even the new people made deep new friendships. I feel honored to have led this group for 10 years and hope to continue it for 10 more. I want to acknowledge and thank everyone who was on the trip for honoring me with your presence. We will continue to see the world, and the next adventure will be announced soon.

PS3: In just a couple of weeks I’ll be in New York at our annual Radio Forecast conference at the Harvard Club. Then the following day I’ve been invited by the commissioners at the Federal Communications Commission to share my thoughts on how they should handle regulation of the radio industry. After 50 years in radio, this is probably the highest honor I’ve received — to be asked for my opinion by those who make the decisions that impact America. I’m truly humbled and excited. Though I have undying passion for art, I’ve never let go of my first love and passion, my career in radio broadcasting.

The faint sound of bagpipes filters through the brisk, moist air as the sun makes a hazy entrance on this brisk Edinburgh morning. A peek out my hotel window feels like Harry Potter World at Universal Studios, but it’s the real thing … we’re here as part of our annual Fine Art Connoisseur magazine art trip for four days of viewing the best art in Scotland.

We spent last week in Provence and the French Riviera, walking in the footsteps of many great artists and learning more than we ever expected. It was invigorating spending time with art and great friends.

Overnight Change

One thing I found eye-opening is that many of the great artists were not always great  — and each had had a moment of transformation. Many had gone from average and the expected style of their time to a new style and approach almost overnight. But how?

What is it that causes us to make the different decisions that often transform our lives?

Not only did we see countless examples of artists who transformed their art, we learned about others who transformed their conditions. How is it that someone who is in a horrific situation becomes able to pull themselves out of their circumstances?

A Complete Upheaval

We visited a small museum collection in Provence that had belonged to a wealthy individual who built an incredible collection of historical art. Suddenly, as the world started to change, he gave his entire collection to his nephew and started a new collection of early modern art. He not only shed his old collection, he shed his mansion and all of his furniture, and built a new house with all new style, new furniture, and art that reflected what was new.

How is it someone who had invested so deeply, and had been so committed and passionate that he built such an important collection, suddenly took such a dramatic left turn?

Sudden Left Turns

Stories of transformations inspire me — and I’ve experienced my own, where one moment I’m moving in a committed direction, and then I make a sudden left turn to the unexpected. It happened when I transformed from my radio career to a commitment to art. Though I did not burn the bridges behind me, this change was transformational for me just the same.

Have you ever experienced a transformation in your life, where you totally changed direction?

I suspect the answer lies in the idea of continual learning. The idea of following a patch of curiosity until the weight of new information overcomes the commitments of the past.

People have “religious experiences” for this reason … new information renders old information less relevant, or perhaps irrelevant entirely. 

My perspective is that without growth, without forced transformation, we experience stagnation, and it prevents us from living a full and rich life.

The Unexpected

I’ve discovered that in almost every case of major transformation, it was driven by exposure to something new opening up new possibilities. At a time of dark, academic art, the Impressionists came on the scene with bright colors and reflected sunlight and indications instead of tight renderings. This very idea inspired others to explore and take things to new heights.

The Intersection

We all tend to find ourselves set in our ways, comfortable where we are, or maybe just not wanting to be uncomfortable. But the magic of life lies at the cusp between new and old. And sometimes, as is the case with the realism movement in art, what’s old is new again, and considered avant-garde by those stuck in the old new.

If you’re looking for transformation, you’ll find it through exploration when new challenges stimulate you to try new things. If you’re not looking for it, you have to be willing to grab that brass ring as the horses quickly pass by, knowing it may never come around again. Being aware and watching for it will help you see it when it comes.

Innovation, new ideas, new stories, new art come from transformation and disruption. Keep an eye out.

Eric Rhoads

PS: To those of you who may be stuck in doing things the way they have always been done, are you comfortable to the point where you’re unknowingly hurting yourself? I’d like to invite you to a week of transformation at our upcoming Figurative Art Convention & Expo in Williamsburg, Virginia, where we approach things differently, in a refreshing modern way, while dealing with the very important subject of realistic painting in its various forms. It’s coming up November 10-13 (and we have two powerful pre-convention workshops you can learn about here and here). You have everything to gain … including an expanded mind and a fresh new approach to painting — figurativeartconvention.com.

Like art, the tweets of birds are an international language that all can interpret, though I swear the little yellow birds that frolic in the old stone birdbath here on the porch are tweeting in French.

Breathing deeply, I take in the cool air and the view of the mountains that were made famous by Cezanne, who painted frequently near this very spot — an old yellow farmhouse with shadows of olive trees playing on its stucco walls. Looking down the long outdoor hallway, covered with vines held up by old wrought iron lamps, I can see the village awakening and begin to hear the sound of church bells in the distance. I’m here with my fine art group at a stunning five-star hotel, Domaine de Manville, deep in the countryside of Les-Baux-de-Provence, France.

Deep Gratitude

It’s hard to wake up in a place like this without feeling tremendously grateful. I’m not only grateful for the opportunity to be here, to lead and spend time with this group of friends and see all the art treasures in the area, I’m grateful for how being here changes my perspective and disrupts my comfort zone.

Scrambled Brain

Though we’re all pretty comfortable here, our brains scramble anytime we leave the comfort of our own surroundings and are exposed to new sights, new language, and new experiences.

We all strive for comfort and familiarity, yet it is discomfort that stimulates growth and helps our brains discover new possibilities.

Bumbling Along

Being here in France, trying to communicate with people who speak little or no English, really stretches my non-French-speaking brain. Reading menus without translations, making out road signs, or trying to figure out labels on a drugstore shelf is both frustrating and invigorating. I love the challenge and the stimulation.

A Grand Tradition

Back in the 1800s, wealthy families would send their graduating sons and daughters on the Grand Tour, which was six months or a year abroad. It was considered a necessary rounding of one’s education to experience Europe, its languages and great museums, and its extraordinary geography. I think it’s a valuable experience every graduate should have if they can.

I Should Have Quit

I made my first trip here at 19, traveling with my parents. I remember wanting to stay longer, so I phoned my boss at the radio station begging for one more week, but he refused. It was such a wonderful experience here, I was tempted to quit my job and backpack around Europe. Looking back, I wish I had.

An Annual Trek

Eleven years ago, after a near-death experience, I told myself I would travel to Eurooe at least once a year, and I have accomplished that goal. Once the kids are in college, I hope we can spend more time traveling the world to experience its unique cultures. I consider it my continuing education.

What are you doing to disrupt your comfort zone?

Seeking Discomfort

It doesn’t require a trip to Europe, and not even a trip to another place at all (though if you’ve not done it, it’s worth saving for). Getting out of your comfort zone is just a matter of forcing yourself to do something you would ordinarily never do or have never considered doing. It might be as simple as going to an ethnic festival or trying foods you’ve never tried, reading things you would never otherwise pick up, maybe taking a class in something completely foreign. Instead of watching TV at night, I’ll watch online courses in things I know nothing about. I recently watched one on fashion design and another on psychology.

Supercharged Mind

The key is being intentional. Though accidental discomfort can be exhilarating, we tend to live routines that keep accidents from happening. Yet if you’re intentional, you are supercharging your brain, which impacts everything you do, keeps life interesting, and makes you feel better about yourself because you’re learning.

Comfort is the enemy of growth. Discomfort is a jewel worth embracing.

I encourage you to take your own Grand Tour of discomfort. You’ll be amazed at how your brain and attitude will change.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Starting out last Monday, Laurie and I flew to Nice, France, arriving Tuesday in Saint-Paul-de-Vence, an old medieval hilltop village in the South of France. Our hotel there, the Colombe d’Or, has a rich history of art and has housed movie stars, film directors, and artists like Miro, Braque, Chagall, Calder, Picasso, and others, including a group of 12 artists who joined me to paint the distant mountains and cobblestone streets.

When one of my readers knew we would be there, she offered to show us the great painting spots and painted with us. She also had all 12 of those on my painting trip to her lovely home for dinner. Special thanks to Elisa and Paul Mussin for their hospitality.

This week following the painting trip, we met up with my annual Fine Art Trip, celebrating Van Gogh and Cezanne and their old stomping grounds as well as seeing the great museums of the region.

Soon after returning home, I’ll be seeing many of you at my Figurative Art Convention & Expo, one of the great opportunities to learn to paint under the greatest of the great masters. I hope to see you there November 10-13 in Williamsburg, Virginia: FigurativeArtConvention.com.

Finally, the oppressive Austin heat is subsiding and it’s a fairly cool morning compared to what it has been. Still hot, I’m splayed out like a dead cat on the couch, here on the back porch overlooking the cattle in the back 40 (fortunately they’re my neighbors’ cattle to care for). My body is totally relaxed, with legs up on the old wicker coffee table, and my back is barely upright, head leaning into the back of the couch, and my arms were just extended out to the sides with an empty coffee mug dangling from my limp fingers. Finally, I can relax.

Heading to Europe Next

It’s been a whirlwind crazy time. A week ago today I finished up a week of painting at Ghost Ranch, home of Georgia O’Keeffe. I was the fearless leader of 98 painters, and though we had a great time, my time in the office playing “catch up” afterward was brutal. So today I relax … and tomorrow I board a big bird to paint in Saint-Paul De Vence, France, for a few days with friends before meeting up with our Fine Art Trip through the South of France and then Scotland. Though I’m leading a group of about 40, it’s our vacation too, so I’m getting excited.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. A week of painting with friends is about the best week a guy can have. And the beauty was amazing.

Flipping the Bird

One day last week I took the morning off from painting to take pictures. Stopping along Monastery Road to talk with some painters, they told me that on the way there they had passed one of the members of the group who was driving slowly on the windy road. As they passed her, the woman leaned out the window as if to wave, but instead gave them “the finger.” They were appalled that anyone would have that reaction just because they wanted to pass, but then to see it was someone within our own group (who probably did not recognize them), they were mortified. They went on to say they had noticed she had not fit in, and was sort of grumpy and not joy-filled like the others in the group.They referred to her as kind of a bully. 

I was speechless. And the first thing that crossed my mind was “She must be hurting.” I know, because I’ve been there. When I was bullied, I wanted to fight back. But we never know what someone else is going through at the time.

Victim of Bullying

As a child I was heavily bullied. I was one of the school “fat kids,” and I could not get a break. It seemed like every encounter with most of the other kids was unpleasant. I was called names, I was the last one left when picking teams, and I was generally unpopular. I remember one time before gym class when all the boys in the locker room started mocking me, calling me names, and snapping my naked fat body with their towels. Though I wanted to cry, I pretended it was funny. But it was everything but funny. I cried endless hours at home, wondering “Why me?” I dreaded going to school and dreaded gym even more.

The Pain of Reinvention

I begged my parents to let me change schools. They had no idea what was going on or the depth of the problem. Eventually I moved schools and reinvented myself without the years of baggage and image I’d have had to overcome with the other kids. And as painful as it was, that pain resulted in my reinvention and becoming who I am today. It did not seem like it at the time, but it was a blessing.

Bully 101

There are two kinds of bullies — external and internal. And I suspect all external bullies are rooted in internal bullies. In other words, people who bully others are dealing with some tough stuff, and the only thing that makes them feel better is to belittle or bully others. This, I suspect, was what was happening with the woman who gave the other ladies “the bird.” 

Bound with Chains

Sadly, the bully inside binds us all with chains, and we become stuck in this prison cell inside our heads. 

Why, if we love ourselves as we should, would we bully ourselves with negative self-talk? It’s awful to bully, berate, or be critical of others, but it’s even worse to do it to ourselves.

A Good Reason

I know … you’re this way because of your conditions. You grew up with abusive parents. You had abusive siblings or aunts and uncles. Your parents made you work on the farm. Someone in your family drank too much. You had a traumatic event in your life. You were poor. You were hungry. You were embarrassed. Your parents did not give you enough time or love. Fill in the blank here.

Refusing to Let Conditions Kill You

I have not walked in your shoes. You have not walked in the shoes of others. But I can tell you this. Everyone has conditions, history, difficult things that have happened. 

How is it that a woman who was kidnapped, raped by a platoon of soldiers, and then sold into sex trafficking can ever possibly have a smile on her face again? It’s because she, and others like her who have had horrific things happen to them, refuse to live their conditions. (I recently heard a woman tell this story with a forgiving heart.)

You are not your conditions.

You are not the conditions of your past or your present. Conditions do not define you. You have to rise above your conditions and show people that the only condition you’re willing to accept is that you are able to adapt and not willing to let anything destroy you. 

Magnetic People

What is it about some people you meet that makes you instantly know you want to be around them? Usually it’s because they have a big smile on their face, they are welcoming, they are non-judgmental, and they are happy. You want to be around them because they believe in themselves, and they believe in you, that you bring value to the world, no matter what.

Yes, I Served Time

I used to be in prison … locked away by my negative self-talk. For instance, I was invited by the BeeGees to a party at their home, yet I declined because I felt I was not worthy to hang out with such famous people. The same thing happened when comedian Red Skelton invited me to take him shopping. I declined. “Why would they want this useless fat kid from Indiana?” I thought.

I was living my conditions. After years of bullying in elementary, junior high, and even high school, I started to believe the things the mean kids said about me. So I got fatter to protect myself, I had low self-esteem, and I was depressed and lonely. “Why would anyone want to be around me?” I thought.

The Pretend Me

But there were two of me … the radio DJ no one could see, who could have fun and entertain on the radio, and the me that others could see in person. I had unknowingly separated them. One had no limits, no boundaries, could be fun and entertaining — the other was still living in my prison. And I carried this around with me for years. 

Eventually I managed to lose weight and become the me I wanted to be. I became more outgoing, and pretended to have my act together, yet for years I carried that belief: “What could I possibly have to offer?” 

A Simple Solution

I spent a fortune on therapy. I destroyed a lot of relationships and a marriage because of my internal prison. It turns out, all I had to do was change my perspective, stop my negative self-talk, and realize that I was of value to others, that they wanted to be around me.

My life changed. My career changed. My world changed, and now I am driven to help others get beyond their prison. I live my own life on my own terms.

If Only…

We tell ourselves that conditions will change everything … you know: “If only I get a bigger house, a nicer car, a more attractive partner, a prettier boat, a slimmer body, or a better job…” New external conditions may heal your wounds for a couple of days or a few weeks, but the only way to feel better in the long run is to tell yourself you’re no longer going to be imprisoned. Break the chains and walk out. Yes, it’s that easy.

Rich and Still in Prison

I know people who are ultra-wealthy, have lots of big houses and fancy cars, have trophy wives or husbands, have incredible companies or fame, yet they too are in prison, looking for more so they can feel better about themselves. They are stuck in their mind prison, stuck in self-pity, stuck in their past conditions, and bullying themselves.

STOP bullying yourself. Stop beating yourself up. You cannot change your life as long as you are your own enemy and you’re always shooting yourself with bullets, always reliving all the bad things that happened to you, always reliving the conditions you were in or are in now.

When you’re in prison, you start looking for problems, start believing all the negatives, start buying into all the bad things in the world that you can’t change. You become someone no one wants to be around — which of course fuels your own conviction that no one wants to be around you.

This is worth watching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

You cannot bully yourself. You have to love yourself.

You cannot truly love others until you can love yourself. You can’t give of yourself until you love yourself.

Yeah, but…

But my conditions, my horrible life, my horrible parents … stop it. It is what it is, you can’t change it. You can only change how you process it. Do you really want your past to hold you hostage? Forgive. It won’t be easy. But you’re doing it for you, and that makes it easier.

There are no guards in this prison … well, just one. You are the only one holding yourself in prison.

Dr. Sean Stevenson (1979-2019), whom I met three times, said, “True freedom is to drop out of your mind into your heart.”

It’s Your Own Choice

No matter what has happened “to” you, no matter your conditions, you have the freedom to choose how you let it impact you. You can choose a happy life, a great attitude, a big rich smile that is rooted in confidence. 

When you love yourself, whether you’re living in the biggest house in town or homeless on the streets, whether you have endless money or don’t know where your next meal is coming from, you are free. Free of negatives, free of self-pity, free of letting bad things bring you down.

Heart-Focused

When you live from the heart, when you shed the chains of disaster and negativity, you can hold your head high and face anything. Best of all, your conditions are no longer who you are.

Bullets Bounce Off

This new approach won’t keep you from having problems. You’ll have just as many, but they won’t wound you. The bullets will bounce off your chest. It does not mean they won’t hurt, but they won’t define you. And the side benefit is that you’ll instantly draw others to you because of your confidence and that big, genuine smile. No longer will you need to kick others down to make yourself feel better. No longer will you buy in to the lies and negativity you or others have been feeding you.

Don’t Let Them Beat You Down

You’ll be told a lot of things in your life, but push those things out unless they’re empowering or helpful. We all get negative thoughts, but you can choose to push them away or absorb them. If you absorb, it changes your personality, and scientifically, changes your physiology. Don’t let the negative win.

Oh, and you may have to change friends, because pity loves company and once you drop the pity, your pitiful friends won’t want you around. Yet you’ll become a magnet to others who want to be around you because of who you’ve become.

Embrace Change

The bully within is a powerful monster. All bullies are monsters. Take it by the horns and push it out of your life. It’s not easy, it takes time, but you will soon notice that your self-talk has changed and you’ll be loving yourself and boosting your own confidence. You are valuable to others. Embrace it and watch what happens.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Now that we’re in the fourth quarter, it’s time to start thinking about what you want to change in your life for next year. Actually giving thought early (rather than only on New Year’s Eve) is a good idea so you can make a plan and implement it. You don’t have to live with things as they are, you can change directions and see amazing results even in 90 days. (My dad engrained this into me.) No one else owns or controls you. These are your choices and yours alone.

PS2: When I made up my mind that I wanted to learn to paint, my head trash was awful. “You can’t do it, you can’t draw a straight line or a stick figure.” I never believed what was possible, yet today I can hold my own, though I’ve got more I want to accomplish. There is a rare and special moment in time happening this November, where we’ve done what others said was impossible. We’ve gathered the very top artists/masters in the world to teach at our Figurative Art Convention & Expo. You can learn, or grow, or expand your knowledge in portraits, figures, drawing, painting, even still life and plein air. It’s happening one time only in Williamsburg, never to return. Don’t let your self-talk or your excuses win. You can do this. Of all things, we had our website crash last week on the day our early bird price expired, which made some people upset. So we extended it till tonight at midnight. Though it’s OK to pay $500 more after tonight, that’s enough savings to pay for a flight. Grab it while you can.

PS3: I cannot guarantee that I’ll be in a position to get Sunday Coffee done when I’m in Europe the next couple of weeks. I plan to try, but that is going to mean getting them done at 10 p.m. so you get them on time. So, if I don’t show up, you’ll know why. Or I may just grab something from the past. (If you want to browse them all, you can find them and subscribe free at www.coffeewitheric.com.)

The soft purple light transitions between nighttime and morning as brilliant pinks illuminate the sky. Moments later, monumental rock faces are washed in glowing orange light. These rock formations are the very ones seen in great Westerns, old Marlboro commercials, and Georgia O’Keeffe paintings. My room sits atop a hill high above Ghost Ranch and overlooking a distant purple plateau, the very one Georgia spent a lifetime painting. This feels like sacred land, or at least an homage to the artist and film directors who made these lands famous.

Fond Farewell

Soon, like each morning for the past week, I’ll meet everyone for breakfast, and then make announcements one last time on our departure day. Tears will flow as people who did not know each other a week ago hug those who have become their new friends and they remember the laughter, the deep talks, the first plein air paintings for some, and the special memories of the week. Though we’re here at an event I call Fall Color Week, a week of painting, the friendships made outweigh the endless painting locations where one could spend a lifetime. I too am sad to say farewell but happy to be home with my family tonight.

The Choice

During this week I spent time with two different people who were dealing with some major problems and yet had incredible attitudes. One, recently diagnosed with a catastrophic, life-threatening disease, chose to come to the event anyway, though she isn’t feeling well and is going through some difficult treatments.

The other had her career cut short by an accident that left her in intense pain with no hope of relief, probably for the rest of her life.

The Effort for Joy

What struck me about both these people is that they were not wearing it on their sleeves, not talking about it, not seeking sympathy. In fact, I found that of all the people attending my event, these two had the most upbeat and outgoing personalities. Both were filled with joy, both were fun to be around, and they didn’t complain, whine, or fail to participate in spite of the pain they were in. They went out of their way to make things fun, to laugh, and to bring joy to those around them.

“There is no need to be miserable and make it difficult for others to be around me,” said the one. “I’m miserable enough, I don’t want to bring any misery to others and certainly don’t want to be miserable to be around or live with. I’m alive, and that’s a lot to be thankful for.”

I have to admit, I’ve seen few people embrace life with such joy as these two. 

Grumpy Me

Honestly, if I’m experiencing a temporary physical ailment like a herniated disc or a pinched nerve, I’m grumpy and not fun to be around. I cannot imagine knowing that pain would be long-term.

Never Giving In

In one case this person said she intended to beat her disease even though she has been told there is little chance of that happening. In the other case, she has tried dozens of different treatments, drugs, and therapies and has been told there are no more options, yet she is convinced she will beat it by continuing to search.

“I don’t know if I’ll make it through or not, but I believe I will, and I certainly don’t want to live the remaining months or years of my life being a sourpuss.”

Both of these women inspire me and have taught me important lessons. 

They embrace life as it is, not as it should be, or once was. And their conditions have made them want to make the most out of each day. A good day for each is a little less pain than other days. 

No Victims

Secondly, they are not playing the victim. They acknowledge their condition, but are not using it to gain attention or sympathy. They don’t like to talk about it, avoid bringing it up, and want to be accepted for who they are.

Third, they acknowledge their condition — but don’t accept it. Meaning they will never give in and consider their condition a life sentence. Instead they will keep seeking alternatives, never giving up.

Skipping Through Life

Fourth, they are living life with joy, happiness, and a spirit of fun. I caught one of them skipping, the other singing, and saw both laughing a lot. They want to live full and happy lives and go out of their way to make sure each day is as happy as possible in spite of their pain. 

Healing with Attitude

In Cyber Cybernetics, a book by Maxwell Maltz I read decades ago, the author presented evidence that attitude, laughter, and being happy had a positive impact on health and survival. More sophisticated recent research confirms what Maltz discovered among prisoners in concentration camps — attitude is a major factor in healing.

What causes you to have a bad day?

What makes you grumpy and difficult to be around?

How does what you’re facing compare to a death sentence or a lifetime of chronic pain?

Is it possible that the things we hang on to as victims, the things we get bothered or stressed by, pale in comparison to what these two women are facing? 

Learning Life Through Death

I recently lost an old friend to cancer. I watched him die on Facebook over the last two years. But he died with dignity and a great attitude, up to the very last day. Though he reported his progress, he was upbeat, encouraging to others, and a joy to be around. He taught me a lot about living as I saw the way he died.

People like this are bigger than most. Instead of being “Why me?” focused, they are not me-focused at all, but focused on bringing joy to others, and that brings them joy. 

What if we all lived that way?

What if we all shed our grumpy days, our misery, and our complaints, and realized that most of what bothers us isn’t a bother at all?

What if you did not allow yourself to have bad days … almost ever?

Who I Want to Be

I want to be the guy who greets me with a giant smile and open arms.

I want to be the lady who loves to laugh.

I want to be the person who gets joy from helping others realize greatness.

I want to be the person who never complains.

I want to be the person who makes others feel good about themselves when they’re around me.

I want to be the person who keeps his pain and angst to himself.

I want to be the woman who is exuberant.

I want to be the person who loves life, who embraces every minute, even the bad, and makes the best of them.

Who I Don’t Want to Be

I don’t want to be the person who complains, who whines, who is filled with anxiety and fear. I don’t want to be the person who isn’t fun to be around, who takes life too seriously, who finds fault in others and is judgmental.

Who do you want to be?

The great thing about life … you get to choose who you are. You can drop who you have been and reinvent yourself at any time in your life. You can’t shed your past, but you can choose not to allow it to impact your future anymore. 

You can be the life of the party. You can be exuberant if that’s who you want to be.

Circumstances do not define your life. You define how you interpret your life. 

Choose wisely. Each day is a gift, and no day should be approached without pure joy.

Eric Rhoads

PS: I don’t mean to make light of you or your circumstances. I’ve not walked in your shoes. I don’t know what you’re going through or what you’ve been through. But please know, I deeply want the best for you.

PS 2: I feel like I’m living a dream because I get to meet so many wonderful people in a lot of different circumstances. One lady this week said to me, “Coming to this makes me realize I need to be around more people. This is a joy because my family and friends can’t relate to my art, but everyone here is someone who shares the same passion I have.” Find your tribe, no matter what you’re into, and get involved. It will do your heart good. My next event like this is the 10-year anniversary of my Adirondack Publisher’s Invitational in June. If this is the tribe you want to be a part of, I’ll see you there. 

PS 3: This week I had 98 artists in attendance. We had so much fun, and remarkably, there were many beginners, and some who did the first plein air paintings of their lives. I did a lot of high-fives because I was so proud of them and wanted to encourage them. I’d like to high-five you for learning to paint portraits or figures at my Figurative Art Convention & Expo, which is coming up November 10-13 in Williamsburg, Virginia. It’s open to every level, including beginners, and it exposes you to the best of the best. If you’re going to learn, learn from the best. Remember, average people try to solve their own problems, above-average people try to learn from the mistakes of others, and exceptional people seek out exceptional teachers who are the best of the best to teach them. We’ve got a wonderful pre-convention workshop to teach you to draw, and another to teach you to paint people from photos. Then four days of exceptional training. If you’re an artist of any kind, keep this in mind. In the studio, you have questions you don’t even know to ask, but the masters teaching at FACE have answered most of them already. You can return to your studio with answers to questions you haven’t even formulated yet. One kernel of true understanding is priceless — imagine the nuggets the masters at FACE have to share. By attending you can make every day in your studio more stimulating and productive … What could you possibly learn from four days with the masters at FACE? When it’s over you’ll wonder how you could ever have asked such a question.

Flipping my eyes open, I was briefly disoriented. Where am I? Instead of the old oak trees behind my porch or the lake from my deck, the view is a hotel room. Nothing special. But the view out the window is illuminated with pink-orange light against tall blue mountains. I’m in Taos, New Mexico.Dinner with Legends

Last night I had dinner with Cherie McGraw and David Leffel, two world-famous artists who are dear friends and live locally. Though my intent was to drive back to Ghost Ranch, an hour and a half from here, I didn’t want to get stranded in the middle of nowhere in the deep dark desert. So I stayed here for the night.

A Week with Friends

Today about noon I begin to “check in” 100 of my closest friends. We will paint together in the land of Georgia O’Keeffe for a week. It will be invigorating and exhausting and worth every minute.

Over dinner part of our discussion was the necessary transition from artist to become an artist-businessperson. I told them the story of transformation I’m about to tell you.

A Transformation

Once a quarter I sit in a group that is my board of directors, made up of 13 business owners. We all sit on each others’ boards. They help me, I help them, we all help one another. Last Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I attended these meetings.

One of the members, a man I’ll call Al, made a statement to the group about a year ago in our first meeting together.

“I’m an artist, I’m not a businessman. I don’t want to become a businessman.” Yet in the same statement he talked about this little business he had started that was billing over a million dollars a year. But it was starting to decline. When we asked why, he said it was probably because he spent eight months away surfing that year and was letting his employees run the business, which is often a bad idea.

I’ll never forget what one of the board members said that got his attention…

“Instead of looking at paying attention to your business as bad, look at it as a means of buying your freedom so you don’t have to go back to work for someone else. If you’ll look at business differently, you’ll develop the skills needed so you can buy your freedom on your own terms.”

When I met with the group last week, Al was a changed man. He had his business under control, he had made a lot of changes, and from the looks of it, he will make almost double this year.

When we talked at lunch, he told me this: “I realized that business does not define me. Art defines me. I was resistant because I did not see myself as a business guy, but now I still see myself as an artist who simply had to develop some muscles in other areas so I could continue to be an artist.”

Standing Ovation

The board stood up and applauded because after a year, he had accepted his role, embraced it, and was doing a great job. It was a total transformation.

Our lives are dominated by the stories we tell ourselves. Our stories are rooted in our past, our pain, our pleasure, and the way we live. But our stories can change.

The Truth You Need to Hear

By having a caring board of friends who told him the truth he did not want to hear, Al faced his reality. Frankly, we all expected him to choose surfing, let his business continue to decline, and drop off our board. Instead, he faced the music and stepped up.

Perspective is a wonderful gift. If you’re willing to gather the thoughts of others, find people you can trust and who have experience and have accomplished things in areas where you need help, you can find the truth if you listen carefully.

They say the truth will set you free.

But the truth in this case would have been nothing without Al making the decision to change himself and his self-perception.

Life without challenges is not life well lived. It’s the challenges that create the contrast. The bad makes the good so much sweeter.

Being Defensive

For most … the truth sets off a series of defense reactions. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. Don’t you think I know what I’m doing? I’ve got it under control.” If you catch yourself saying those things, perhaps you should listen carefully and pay attention to those who are trying to get through to you.

Once you accept the feedback, the next step is to take action by finding out what needs to change and then finding ways to change it. Usually we can’t do it on our own, which is why learning from the mistakes of others is important. And if you can, don’t learn from just anyone’s mistakes. Learn from the best of the best who can take you to the highest possible level.

Couch Potato

If you want to get in shape, you can’t sit on the couch and eat bon bons and expect something to change. Though I don’t want to go to the gym, when I don’t I get fat and lazy and my brain doesn’t work as well.

Life is about developing new muscles. After hearing the truth, Al needed to develop his business muscles, his discipline muscles. He had us to help him.

I’m Delusional

After a lot of years of making stupid decisions and not having much growth, I had to face my own truth. I was not as good as I told myself I was. (We’re all delusional at times.) I had to learn new things from new people who were the best, and then I had to develop muscles by learning and practice.

When I wanted to improve my skills in portraits, I went to one of the best, Joshua LaRock. And when I wanted to improve my landscape painting, I went to Joseph McGurl.

What are you not seeing that you need to see?
What are others trying to tell you?
What’s not going well because you’re not accepting that you need to deal with it?
In what areas are you telling yourself a story?

The Value of Perspective

There is wisdom in many counselors. Surround yourself with others you respect, who have done things you’ve been unable to do, and listen for their truth. Don’t take advice from people who do not have a great track record.

Then accept your challenge, make the change in your mindset, and start developing the muscles you need to develop.

A perfect game is not possible. A game with no curveballs is uninteresting. Embrace change and an opportunity to grow.

Do you know how to spell growth? L-E-A-R-N

Life can be exhilarating and exciting with lifelong learning, developing new muscles.

Waterfall or Pool?

You can choose to be a gushing waterfall or a smelly, algae-filled pool of stagnant water. Which will you be?

Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake I did…

I started my business and ran it for 20 years and made about the same low amount of money every year. I got sick of it.

Repeating Mistakes

Then a friend woke me up by saying, “You’ve repeated the same year 20 times. The only way to make things better is to get better. The only way to get better is to learn from others who are better. Otherwise you’ll remain stuck forever.”

He was right … and though I did not have any extra money, I made some sacrifices and I started going to events to make myself better. The things I learned helped instantly.

My thinking shifted, I started doing things differently, and I got unstuck.

What about you?

Are you happy with where you are?
Are you happy with your progress?
Are you willing to stay exactly where you are for the rest of your life?

If you want to get unstuck … all you have to do is start investing in yourself.

It won’t be easy. It will require some work. It won’t happen overnight. But it will work. And you’ll be happier and more successful — and have freedom.

Eric Rhoads

PS: After this week at Ghost Ranch I’m heading home, and then off to the South of France and Scotland on our annual fine art trip. Unusually this year, we actually have a couple of seats left due to weddings and illnesses. It’s usually hard to get into this group. If you are adventurous, have a passport, and are willing to make a last-minute trip, you should join us! 

I’m sure I’ve already told you about the Figurative Art Convention & Expo (FACE) and how you can see a personal transformation. But don’t listen to me. Listen to these people. Maybe you should join us in November. 

“It is one of the most informative and worthwhile experiences for anyone who is an artist in training or an emerging artist. You learn so much and get to interact with like-minded people.” — Khann Mai

“It’s mind-expanding and inspirational to see top artists creating work and hear what they’re thinking.” — Margerett McDermott

“If you are interested in elevating your work, or breaking past a rut, you have to surround yourself with professionals who can elevate you. Be around the next level up, and aspire to inspire. FACE is a stepping stone to better.” — Jessica D. Perez

“The value surpasses the price to attend. The fact that I could greet supporters and collectors of my work and thank them with a handshake and develop those friendships with other artists makes the event immeasurably valuable. If I have to save all year, I’m going to attend next year.”— Brianna Lee

Streaming through the leaves of the ancient twisted oak trees, orange morning light kisses the tall grasses below and illuminates my little brown-wood clapboard art studio in the distance. The string of party lights that trim the porch are glowing as if turned on.

The tops of the oaks sway gently with the welcome breeze on this otherwise oppressively hot morning. The dogs sit atop the deck, at high alert for chasable squirrels. And I’m blinded as the sun blasts my eyes, and ready to let the screen door slam behind me as I escape to the cooler air-conditioned indoors.

Avoiding Reality

Now home for a week after my summer escape from reality, I’m still working hard to avoid it. The mere sight of a TV in a restaurant makes me walk out the door as I try to continue my vacation from news media. I suppose I have to ease into it slowly. 

Tuning Out TV

Remarkably, the temptation is always there. I’m so used to turning the TV on when cooking dinner or sitting around at night that it’s a battle not to succumb, yet my stress melted away so much when I took TV out of my summer that I’m trying to keep it away as long as possible.

Reading Old Books

Since I have no TV in my studio, I make my way out there to start reading a pile of new art books I’ve recently acquired. I’ve also been reading Elbert Hubbard, a philosopher from the late 1800s. I discovered him through my friend Roy WIlliams, who told me Hubbard had created Roycroft, a commune for artists, writers, and musicians in East Aurora, New York. So Brady and I stopped there for a night and had dinner with artist Thomas Kegler, who lives minutes away (and who graciously kept the dogs, since the hotel wouldn’t).

Ahead of His Time

Hubbard, as it turns out, was the biggest-selling author and largest publisher of the time, yet few know of him today. His most famous book was A Message to Garcia, and he is known for starting the Arts & Crafts movement in America after a visit with designer William Morris in England. The campus at Roycroft is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. Small, but quality — just as everything Hubbard published was done with elegance, high design, and quality paper. Though I did not know of him at the time I started publishing magazines, we appear to have shared that interest in quality.

Don’t Cheap Out

I’ve taken many a lesson from my parents, especially my dad, whose steps I followed into being an entrepreneur. He used to tell me how much quality mattered and to never give in to the temptation to go cheap if it affects the quality or appearance of your brand. It was one of the most important lessons I ever learned — because it matters. Even this week, a woman I met with picked up Fine Art Connoisseur for the first time and said, “This is one of the most beautiful magazines I’ve ever seen.” She even hugged it! You simply can’t get that impact with cheap paper and weak designers.

What if everything you and I do is done with the highest-quality aesthetics in mind?

What if everything you touch is done with excellence?

A Giant Turnoff

Someone once approached me about buying my magazines. Curious, I asked what immediate changes they would make, to which they said they would save by cutting paper quality and doing away with the thick paper covers and high gloss (all of which are expensive). It was then that I knew I’d never sell, and my instruction to my heirs is to never follow the temptation to save money when it comes to appearance. 

Pondering Excellence

I’ve been thinking about excellence a lot lately, and I’m trying to up my own game. How can I take what’s good and make it better? How can I improve on our publications, trips, retreats, conventions, and video products? Though people tend to say good enough is good enough, raising the bar makes you better. And others can tell the difference.

We need to always be asking ourselves the question … do I want to be good enough, or do I want to be better than good enough?

Done Well Isn’t Enough

I tell my kids that getting things done isn’t enough, and getting them done well isn’t enough. Getting things done to the highest possible standard is where you need to be with everything. 

Deep Quality

In my books by Elbert Hubbard, the quality of printing and design is impeccable. These things were clearly the best on the market at the time, and to this day few books approach his standards. Publishers over time have told themselves that cheap paper and poor design are OK. They’re not OK in my book.

What has this got to do with you if you’re not publishing anything? What’s it got to do with your family?

Challenge Yourself

Striving for better is always a great challenge. I’m not suggesting buying better, though that’s OK if it’s meaningful to you, but making better. Taking the extra time to do things with excellence.

Replace or Repair

Our little summer cabin was built in 1898, and this summer, when an old fixture broke, I could have gone to Home Depot and bought a new, modern fixture that faked being old. But I wanted to keep the vibe, so I spent several hours over two days, with lots of trips to the hardware store, to repair the old fixture that dated back to the early 1900s. I felt gratified in taking the time to do something right. In the case of that old camp, new isn’t better. Original is better.

Pride Matters

Take pride in doing things well. Take time to get them right. Go out of your way to make sure the design is excellent so others have a wonderful experience. Even if you’re doing something for yourself, make it the best it can be. Whether that’s a house you’re building, a report you’re making, the presentation of a meal on a plate — anything. 

Our world is focused on cheap. They bark about high quality, but it’s rarely found. I’m not suggesting you do things expensively — quality is often unrelated to price. 

Excellence matters. It makes others feel as though you care. Though some will balk and say it doesn’t matter, you can balk back and say, “It matters to me.” 

Eric Rhoads

PS: I just wrote a piece about the 10th-anniversary art trip we’ve created. It is truly a quality experience that is un-duplicatable. This year will top them all. (Read a letter I just sent out about it here).

We tend to believe that success is a signal that change isn’t needed. Though our November Figurative Art Convention & Expo is only three years old, we’re making some changes this year to make it better, just as we’re doing with the Plein Air Convention & Expo, even though it’s almost sold out and we don’t need to make changes. It’s just the right thing to do. Let’s all be the best we can be by pushing ourselves to be better than yesterday.