Have you ever been somewhere so quiet, you can hear only a slight ring in your ears? As I walked through our old lake house, it was so quiet, my steps were amplified across the wooden floor. When the door slammed behind me as I entered the old octagonal screened porch (built in 1894), the slam startled me because there was no other noise. No water lapping, no boat sounds, no birds tweeting or loons looning. It truly is the sound of silence as the lake is enveloped in fog, so thick I can’t see more than darkness across to the other shore. It’s just me, alone with my thoughts.

A Caring Artist

Last week after one of my daily shows, I was talking to artist Gabriel Stockton about a problem that needed to be solved with an obstinate person who was being difficult. He said, “I just speak light, and I look for gold in every person. I speak love, and beauty.” He then told me that his goal is to do this with his children. “Imagine how much confidence they will get if we stop speaking about their flaws and start speaking about the gold in them.”

I immediately flashed back to a seminar exercise from some years ago: “Reach out to three people every day and tell them something nice about themselves. Then sit back and see what happens.”

You already know what happens. People love to hear how much they are appreciated, how good they are. And, if you do it enough, they want to live up to it. 

The Other Side of the Coin

The opposite is also true. If you’re always pointing out people’s flaws, they don’t feel good about themselves. And, if it seems to be the only way to get attention, will they act out by doing bad, instead of good? 

Yes, But…

Naysayers may argue that people need correction, they need to know where they stand. I don’t disagree, but what if you wrap it in gold? Years ago I was taught to find something wonderful about a person to start that conversation. Then deal with any issues, and then find other things to make them feel good about themselves. I guess you could call it a gold sandwich (with poop in the middle).

A Good Listener

Years ago I met a man who became one of my oldest and dearest friends. I would sit in his office and talk with him for a couple of hours, and I’d leave feeling really great about myself. It took me a while to realize that he rarely talked. He was truly interested in me, and he only spoke to ask more questions. “What a great conversation,” I’d tell myself, when in reality, it was me doing all the talking.

It’s All About Me

Someone I know pointed out that at cocktail parties, no one ever asks about her — all people want to do is talk about themselves. My response: If you want to have great conversations, ask people questions about themselves, and they will like you more. But you won’t get to talk about yourself much. (Though we all love it when someone is truly interested.)

This is about speaking gold. 

How much gold are you speaking? 

Are you dominating conversations, or are you truly interested in others?

Are you interrupting people, stepping on their words so you can insert your thoughts, or are you listening with intent to hear and understand?

Are you helping people get the recognition they think they deserve, or are you looking for ways to make yourself feel better by tearing them down?

How would your life change if you focused on speaking gold to everyone in your life … family, kids, grandkids, friends, co-workers?

I’m not suggesting being insincere or being the person who tells people what they want to hear to get something out of them (we all experience that). But being someone truly interested.

A friend on the lake complimented my son Berkeley last week, saying, “He listens with his kind eyes. He truly is interested.” 

Will you try it for a week? 

My guess is that everyone will feel better about themselves, feel better about you, and you’ll get more bees with sincere honey than insincere lemons. And imagine how others will be lifted up with your intent to speak gold.

Eric Rhoads

PS: As we age, we develop, we grow and learn, and hopefully become better humans over time. Life is a series of micro-corrections, and one goal is to get better at speaking gold.

What about you?

Twenty-five years ago I did a speech about 25 things to be more successful. Out of the blue this week, someone I do not know contacted me and told me she had my list of 25 things from that speech posted on her wall, that she read it frequently, and that it helped her change her life. She contacted me because she recently moved and misplaced my list. She asked me to send it to her again because it was so helpful to her. I scoured my hard drives and e-mails with no success. So I told her that not only did I not know where to find it, I probably have changed so much that I’d have a different list of things today. This of course got me thinking about what those 25 things might be. I’m still thinking about it.

One thing I would say today is that success cannot be defined by anyone other than you. We spend too much time focused on the success others tell us we should chase. At one time I may have defined success by the things I had accumulated. Once I accumulated many of those things, and I realized they did not make me happy. 

One thing that makes me very happy, and that would be in my top 25 today, would be that there is real gold in focusing your life on helping others. It’s pretty hard to feel pity for yourself when you are spending your life making the lives of others better. 

The other thing I’d add to my list would be the incredible satisfaction you get when you are stretching your brain. They say most billionaires read two books a week. Once I became obsessed with learning, I became more interested in myself (and hopefully others), less bored, and more invigorated. For instance, I’m obsessed with growth as a painter. Getting good isn’t enough; getting to higher levels is gold to me. And learning things I’d known nothing about has brought me great joy.

For instance, because of the pandemic, we launched online conferences in watercolor, pastel, and some other subjects. I primarily paint in oils, but because I was the host, I attended these events, and because I felt obligated to make sure I was practicing what I preach, I discovered how much I love watercolors and pastels, how much they have made me better even in my oil painting, and how I now feel more confident because I can do more than just one thing. 

Tomorrow, I’ll leave the Adirondacks, return to our soundstage in Austin, and on Wednesday I’ll begin hosting the Beginner/Refresher day of our Pastel Live online event for hundreds of people —  bigger than ever.

If you want to get out of your comfort zone and learn to paint, or try something new, pastel is the perfect place to start because it’s like crayons for adults, only with professional materials. I have engaged the very top pastel artists in the world to teach, and we have attendees and faculty from several countries.

But tonight at midnight is the last chance to capture the current price. After midnight it goes up substantially. Sign up. You’ll not regret it, and if you do regret it, just ask by the end of day one and I’ll refund your money. 

Also, I had three last-minute cancellations for New Zealand, and I just filled two of them. I can fit a couple more people in for this trip of a lifetime. If you already have a passport, we still have time to get flights. Simply go to www.paintingnewzealand.com.

The roof on the old octagon-shaped screen porch overlooking the lake is being slammed with massive raindrops, making things very loud. The normally cheery, bright skies have been hijacked by dark billowing clouds, an occasional flash of light and a rumble in the distance, and a stirring wind. I tell myself it’s why I love the Adirondack Mountains, and the rich green forests that need to be watered regularly. Plus, the pressure to spend a sunny day on the water has been replaced by the prospect of snuggling up on the couch with a blanket and a good book. And though I try to read every day before bed, a large chunk of time to catch up is welcome. It’s in books that I stimulate new ideas, and I learn the secrets and shortcuts of people who have already done great things.

A Lot of Work!

One of my dirty little secrets is that I hate to prepare for speeches. Few realize what it takes to do it well, which is why, when I spent years doing a series of speeches, I had one or two I repeated at different venues. A great talk or speech takes time. For instance, when I prepare for my three mornings of Art Marketing Boot Camp at the annual Plein Air Convention, it takes me about five full days of prep for every hour. That’s 15 days and 120 hours for three hours of content. Then I rehearse each hour about three times, so there is another nine hours of preparation. But of course the goal is to make it look effortless and have it flow off the tongue as if it’s off the top of my head.

Professor Eric

Years ago I was invited to speak to an entrepreneur class at Santa Clara University by my friend Professor Mary Furlong. The young, impressionable minds, mostly with visions of business ownership, would be looking for easy fixes, for answers that would pave their way sooner and more smoothly. 

I took this assignment very seriously. What should I prepare? What should I tell them? Do they need a dose of reality? Should I challenge them, inspire them, or impart jewels of wisdom? 

Give ’Em What They Want

The challenge I faced is that I was running a tech company in Silicon Valley, and my time was precious. I wanted to do a favor for my friend, but I did not have the time for prep. So I offered to do it as a Q&A session. Ask me anything. This allowed me to do it based on my experience, with no prep other than anticipating questions on my long drive to the school. Plus, I’m not sure a room of 20-year-olds wants to hear someone pondering life. Answering questions gives them what they want.

Leave Now!

I usually start out with a few comments, and I want to get their attention fast. So I started with this. “Fifty percent of you in this class are here because your parents want you to be, because your mom or dad owns a business and they want you to become an entrepreneur like them. If that’s you, leave the room now. Don’t waste a minute more of your life doing what your parents want. Only do what you want. Being an entrepreneur is one of the hardest, most complicated things anyone can pick, but it’s also the most rewarding. But if it’s not ‘in you,’ you can’t force it. So leave now.” No one left, of course, but afterward a few came up to me and told me they were there because of their parents’ wishes and that no adult had ever said to them them what I’d said. They thanked me because I gave them permission to pursue their dreams. I’m sure there were some unhappy parents.

Money = Failure

I then told the class that the reason to become an entrepreneur is that you have no choice but to chase your dreams. “It’s never about money,” I told them. “If money is your primary driver, you’ll either fail or you’ll be miserable.”

Embrace Failure

“Now, I’m a bit of an outcast,” I said. “I was bullied and never popular in school, I got horrible grades, and I barely graduated. And here I am teaching you, and I never went to college. There are a lot of ways to skin a cat — my way isn’t the right way, it’s just one way.” I went on to answer their questions, and I told them my version of the truth. I did not sugarcoat anything; I told them they would have to work harder than any person they know working for someone else, and I told them that I went seven years without a paycheck, scratching to get by, and I barely made it. And I told them that 50 percent of entrepreneurs fail in the first year and only 2 percent survive more than 10. “But if you don’t go for it, don’t go for your dreams, you’ll live your life in regret. And when you fail, you have to dust off and try again.” I told them I failed several times, and they probably would too. But the rewards on the other side can be worth it because you get to do things your way. I said to them, “I’m not employable. I can’t work under someone else’s rules.”

At the end of the class, I had 20 people gathered around me wanting to talk, to tell me their stories, and many suggested I was the only guest speaker who had told it like it is. And most of them loved it. 

So how do you inspire greatness in others?

Pure Heart

My goal is to be real, to have a pure heart, to make everyone around me better. I want to help others live their dream, even if it’s a dream I don’t agree with. My job isn’t to judge them or sway them, though I can ask some pointed questions to help them think things through.

I Can’t Stand the Pressure!

Social media places pressure on us to perform. We see our friends in exotic places, and we want to be like them. The media tells us what we’re supposed to do, how we’re supposed to be, and yet we chase dreams and feel empty — or we get burned out, or we lose important parts of our life and time with family, or we define our self-worth based on how much money or how many toys we have.

Instead of striving for success, greatness is inspired by striving for significance. What are you going to do that will give YOU a meaningful life? What are you going to do to change the world?

Fun Tickets

My sister-in-law refers to money as “fun tickets,” which I think puts it all in perspective. It’s there to purchase experiences, to enjoy life. Accumulation without using money for fun — well, it’s not fun.

Do It Now

Twenty years ago someone asked me what I wanted to do when I retired. I told them “nothing different,” because I don’t intend to retire, I’m doing all the things I want to do now. After all, what if I don’t live to retirement age? That’s why I take two international trips with friends annually, and why I do painting retreats in beautiful places. Why wait?

Nothing to Do with Money

Greatness isn’t about getting rich. I’m friends with some very rich people. Some are joyful and happy, while others are miserable. Money hasn’t changed much for them. Greatness, in my opinion, is being selfless, finding ways to inspire and help others. Encouraging them, leading them, giving them tools to help them get to where they want to be. It’s why I declared I wanted to teach a million people to paint, and after doing that, I added another million to the goal. People light up and gain joy and confidence when they learn to paint, yet they are wrongly telling themselves it’s not possible, they don’t have talent. My goal is to dispel that idea and help them see that anyone can do it by learning a system, and then providing that system.

Where to Start

Greatness starts by inspiring your kids, your family members and friends. Helping them see possibilities. (Believe me, it’s not easy, because people don’t see things in themselves.) My dad said to me when I was a small child, “I see you doing big things in your future.” Those words rang in my head my entire life. In the year before he died, he said, “You’ve accomplished more than I ever dreamed I could, and I know you’re going to do even more amazing things.” 

How can you go wrong when people believe in you?

Stacks of Money

A bank full of dollars, a wall full of awards — they’re nice, but a world filled with changed lives is better. 

Our media portrays successful people as greedy, self-centered, me-focused rule-breakers whose purpose is to take. I used to be like that. Then, with the help of Dave Ramsey, the radio talk host, I changed from being me-focused to being you-focused. Everything changed. And I’ve never been happier. 

It’s Not About You

If you help others instead of yourself, you’ll be the happiest you’ve ever been. They always say that if you’re depressed or sad, go help out at a homeless shelter or charity. Suddenly you feel good about yourself for helping others.

Success has a price. Selflessness pays volumes in happiness.

Eric Rhoads

I lack perfection. I make lots of mistakes. I mess up a lot. I’m so passionate to help others that I sometimes push too often or too hard. Yet if I don’t, people don’t pay attention and don’t get the benefit of the things we try to offer that can truly be life-changing.

After last year’s Pastel Live online art conference, I had people thank me for pushing them into it. Numerous people told me they resisted it because they were not pastel painters, and they discovered the exact right thing for them. Others told me it informed their painting in new ways, making them better at their medium of choice. I say that if they watch the first day, but don’t feel they got their entire investment’s worth of growth and transformation that day, I’ll refund all their money. And I say that because I know that people need to be nudged to try new things and are usually grateful on the other side. 

When I did my first New Zealand trip, people told me they ignored most of my messages, but then one spoke to them and they decided to bite the bullet and go. It turned out, in one case, it was the last big thing she would be able to do, but she did not know that at the time.

A few years back, a very sweet lady came to Fall Color Week, and she told me that she had heard about it for many years but always had an excuse not to come. Then one e-mail got her attention. She came, made some of her best friends ever, and came back again. Little did she know, when we all hugged goodbye, she would be gone three months later. I’m so grateful I nudged a little more.

We have a few people who are very generous. They get it. They send people to our events, paying their way, knowing those folks can’t afford it and knowing they can. That is being selfless and encouraging. 

I could tell several more stories, but I think you got the point. 

Here are some things happening at my company, Streamline, this week….

Pastel Live is coming up August 18-20. The price is going up in two weeks. There is still time to attend. www.pastellive.com

Fall Color Week is sold out, but we have a waitlist and are trying to get more rooms elsewhere. www.fallcolorweek.com

We had a cancellation this week due to a family illness, so we have a couple of seats left for our September Paint New Zealand trip. www.paintingnewzealand.com

Our 50% off Christmas in July promotion on art instruction videos is continuing through midnight on Sunday, July 24. You can learn more here.

We just released a killer new video from Douglas Fryer. I was excited about this because he does not follow normal conventional practices when he paints. We documented his entire rare process. It’s called Painting with Intuition and available here.

Paradise isn’t hard to take. I’m squinting my eyes as the bright morning light reflects intensely on the water. Two loons are silhouetted near the dock in front of me. I’m comfortably sitting in an old olive green original Adirondack Westport chair — the engraving on the back says 1904. It’s cool, slightly breezy, and the coffee warms me before the day grows a little warmer. If it gets too hot (unlikely), I may jump in for a swim, and later today I’ll go paint in my little wooden electric boat.

I have lots of summer memories, but one moment was especially unnerving. 

Panic Time

When I was a kid, my dad woke us from a sound sleep early one Saturday morning. “Get up. Pack a bag for a week. Be ready in two minutes. This is an emergency.” Of course, I rolled over until he woke me again.

“What’s going on?” I grumbled in my most sleepy, not-awake voice. “There’s no time for that, but this is life or death. I’ll tell you in the car.”

Nuke Threats

In the 1960s we were all on high nuclear alert. In school we had drills where we had to get under our desks in the event of a nuke. (My best guess is that it might have prevented flying glass from blinding us before the nuke killed us all two seconds later.) 

We had air raid sirens that went off every day at noon, but if they went off any other time, we had to be ready for attack.

And there was the Emergency Broadcast System alert. If it went off any time other than test time, we had to be ready.

This Never Happens!

That morning the EBS had gone off, and our local announcer, Bob Sievers on WOWO, was telling us, “This is an actual emergency, but we know nothing more than that.” It was frightening. Had the Russians invaded? Would a nuke be hitting our little town?

So, we were off in our car, driving somewhere, I’m not sure where. But soon they announced it was a false alarm and we headed home. We had all been kind of coached about what might happen someday, and if it did, on what we were going to do. 

The Ultimate Boy Scout

Being a pilot, my dad was rehearsed for every possible disaster. In learning to fly, the first thing they do is take you up, cut the engine, and tell you to find a place to land. Then they tell you all the reasons the spot you picked won’t work and tell you to find another place. Right before you land in a cornfield, they start the engine and say, “That was a drill. For the next 40 hours we’re going to do drills, so when it actually happens, you’re ready for anything.”

My dad had two near-death experiences when flying, where his instincts told him to do one thing but his training told him to do another. He followed the training and escaped death from a spiral dive with about 40 seconds to spare after he emerged from a cloud only to realize the plane was careening toward the ground. Letting go of the controls was the only option. The plane corrected itself, and he was saved. It had all been in the training. When you’re panicked, you don’t have time to think clearly, and you might choose the logical (but wrong) path.

At age 11 I joined the Boy Scouts, whose motto was “Be prepared.” They really did help us be ready for anything.

It Was Ingrained in Us…

Growing up as Rhoads kids, we had to think about every possible scenario and be ready to take immediate action. Being rehearsed was the key.

When Captain “Sully” Sullenberger saved 155 lives on his aircraft after a bird strike killed his engines on takeoff, instinct kicked in. He credits years of flying, training, and practice for that one in a million chance that something could go wrong. 

Though some accuse me of being a negative thinker when I think through worst case scenarios, my upbringing has taught me to play the negative “What if?” game… Things like…

What if we’re in a crowd and someone starts shooting. What will you do? What will everyone else do? Should you follow everyone else? 

What if the building I’m in catches on fire? What will you do? What will everyone else do? Should you follow everyone else?  (Note: Experts say that following everyone else usually does not end well.)

What if someone pulls a gun on you? You’ve only got a split second to use your special rehearsed moves. No time to invent something. 

What will I do if the waters come up and fill the house and we find ourselves trapped?

What if there are fires that get out of control and we can’t escape the neighborhood?

What if an expected hurricane is worse than predicted, the power, phones, and Internet are down, and I have to save my family?

The key to playing “What if?” is to build confidence and to create an instinctive response. In an emergency, it’s too late to think through what you might do when a split second could save your life. Having confidence at crucial moments is critical. 

Fire!

In one of the office buildings we were in, I can remember three different times the fire alarm went off, but everyone was standing around, asking questions, not moving. Meanwhile, I ran out of the building, down the stairwell, and outside as fast as I could. I was downstairs in 30 seconds. The others in the building did nothing because they didn’t believe the fire was real, because the alarm had gone off so many times before. Yet the last time it happened, it was a real fire and people could have been trapped. Thankfully, everyone got out and the fire was out quickly. But in emergencies, things change in an instant. Did I feel foolish for overreacting and not waiting to see? Not for a moment. In fact, I increased my odds of survival by having a plan.

Not Just Emergencies

Being prepared isn’t just about emergencies, nuclear attacks, food shortages, etc. It’s also about being ready for the worst in life, work, or business. A few weeks ago I got the worst business call I could imagine getting. Ten years ago I’d have been freaking out after what I heard, but because I knew that call would someday come, because I had thought it through and rehearsed it, I knew how I would react, exactly what I would do, and how I’d keep things moving forward no matter what. My preparation served me, and the issue became a non-issue. Best of all, I was calm the entire time.

Adapting

In the book Greatness by David L. Cook, Ph.D., he writes, “Performing to the top of our capabilities while adapting to imperfections [emergencies] in the environment, in ourselves, and in the people with whom we interact is a champion’s blueprint for success and a cornerstone to mental toughness.”

Some worry about what might happen. Others don’t worry, because they have a plan and have rehearsed that plan. Some live in hope that bad things won’t happen, while others hope they don’t happen but are prepared. Hope rarely solves problems.

Social networks are filled with a constant flow of information about every possible coming disaster, every asteroid headed our way, predictions of war, of revolution, of financial crashes, of blackouts, of Internet outages, even end-times predictions. Some take it seriously, some worry about it, and some are champions and know exactly what they would do, where they would go, what they would take, or how they would react in every scenario.

Which are you?

What do you think about that worries you?

Would you be more confident and less worried if you had thought out a plan and rehearsed it in your mind?

Eric Rhoads

PS: OK, now someone will e-mail me and say, “What are you trying to get us ready for? Do you know something we don’t know?” No.

When we hold our annual Plein Air Convention, my staff can tell you that we go through every possible scenario. “What would happen if…?”  Sometimes it’s not just a disaster, but preparation for success. What would happen if an extra hundred people show up? What do we do? Can we accommodate them? We try to be ready for everything.

Adult Crayons

For decades I’ve been a diehard oil painter. That’s about all I did for almost 25 years, until I started launching our online conferences about specific art techniques. Last August I held our first Pastel Live online event for hundreds of people worldwide. As host, I watched as much of the instruction from top masters as I could. When I decided to pick up pastels this summer, I knew how to do things I didn’t know I knew. It was almost like osmosis.

But I Don’t Have Any Talent

Lots of people tell me, “I don’t have any talent. I can’t draw a stick figure.” Then I tell them that I can teach anyone to paint. And though it’s true, it’s even more true with pastel. You won’t know till you try. And if you fail and want your money back, I’ll give it to you.

Instant Success

Most of us used crayons when we were little. Most of us colored within the lines, and some of us made drawings of things we were into. What I love about pastels is that you can draw or color, just like with crayons. The big difference is that your box has even more colors, and pastels are a respected professional art medium that will last hundreds of years. Pastel is not nearly as hard to learn as other mediums.

Though there are all kinds of techniques and approaches to make your pastel paintings better, I’ve watched people pick them up and do decent work right away. Imagine what they could do with some coaching from top pastel artists!

Feel Better About Yourself With 3 Life-Changing Days

I’m not exaggerating when I say life-changing. When you learn a skill like painting, you gain new confidence, you enjoy the experience, and you’ll feel better about yourself. I’d like to encourage you to come to my 3-day pastel conference. You don’t need to get on an airplane, you can watch from home or work on your phone, tablet, computer, or TV. And you will gain tremendous confidence and walk away feeling that you too can become an artist. 

You Become an Artist or Your Money Back

My guarantee is that you’ll get so much value out of this event that if you don’t get your investment in value on day one, let me know by the end of the day and I’ll refund 100 percent of your money. If after watching you don’t feel you learned anything or don’t feel you can be an artist, I’ll refund your investment. 

We have hundreds of people from around the world attending to see three or four days of the top pastel artists in the world teaching. You can register at www.pastellive.com.

I’ve had a lot of questions about our virtual Pastel Live conference, so I thought I’d answer them here:

Q: How does Pastel Live this year differ from last year’s event?
A: No two conferences are alike. We rarely repeat any of the faculty members, and if we do on occasion, they don’t repeat what they taught before. This year only two are repeated. First, Albert Handell, because he is THE top pastel master in the world. We have him back every year, but each year he teaches something different. We’re repeating Vera Kavura, a flower painter from Ukraine, because we wanted to support her. Every instructor is new this year, doing new and different approaches and techniques. Not all pastel approaches are alike.

Q: I haven’t used all the information I learned last year, so I think I’ll wait.
A: If you have a passion to learn or grow as a pastel artist, attending will inform you and teach you things you didn’t know you didn’t know. Chances are you have used more of what you learned last year than you’re aware of, because things tend to sink in over time. And what if this one event has a few sessions that change how you paint forever? Is it worth the risk of missing it?

Plus, it’s not just about the instruction, it’s about the interaction with other artists worldwide. You learn from others and their experiences as well. You’re part of the family.

Q: I’ve never done an online conference, and I’m a little intimidated by it.

A: Online conferences are all the rage because people can get great education without the expense of travel. This is NOT a Zoom call; we produce a very entertaining show from a state-of-the-art soundstage so you get the best possible experience.

Many people are unable to travel due to family, health, or work. When you register for the event, we will send you a link to click on that will take you right to the program. All you have to do is click. We do ask you to create an account, which takes about one minute. If you’re not accustomed to it, we can walk you through it.

You can simply watch, much like you might on YouTube. You can use your tablet, smartphone, computer, or laptop, and in some cases you’ll be able to connect to watch on your television if you have a connected smart TV. You simply tune in to watch. If you have questions, you ask them in the chat bar beside your screen, and if you want to participate in our online community so you can meet with other artists, you simply click a button that will connect you. You will want a camera on your computer to take part in the online breakout rooms, which we do twice daily.

Q: I only attend in-person workshops so I can get personal attention and get my questions answered.

A: In-person is great if you’re in the front row, and if you can hear everything. At an online event, you can see clearly, see closeups better than in person, and you get to ask questions of the instructors during their presentations. And, unlike a workshop, with the replays you can rewatch the things you want to see again. Some will tell you they think this can be better than in person, plus you can sit in your pajamas, you can paint along, you can watch over again, you can grab a snack when you want it, and there is no airplane, rental car, or hotel. And in this workshop you get three days (four if you do Beginner’s Day) and 30 top pastel instructors who are hard to get access to (we get them because of our affiliation with PleinAir and Fine Art Connoisseur magazines).

Q: I’m a beginner. This might be way over my head.
A: That’s why we offer a Beginner’s Day. It’s a separate price, and you don’t have to attend the three-day event after (but you can). We’ve selected people who can teach at a beginner level to really make it understandable. Not only will this help you grasp important basics of pastel, it will help you as you watch more in-depth presentations the rest of the week, should you decide to. And if you’re at all worried about being embarrassed, no one will see your work unless you decide to show it in the breakout rooms.

Q: I’m not a pastel painter. Why should I even consider it?
A: During the pandemic, many painters in other mediums attended Pastel Live, just because they thought they could learn something that would apply to the medium they use, since all mediums inform other mediums. Many decided they loved it so much they took up pastel. Some think it’s like a sophisticated adult crayon. There are times when you don’t want to drag out your paints, you just want to pick up some colors and start creating. Pastel is perfect for that, and it’s great for lots of effects you cannot get with other mediums. And many master artists try to master all mediums so they can be strong in every medium, because there is a time when pastel may be easier or better than other mediums.

Q: Money is tight, with gas, inflation, and all and not knowing what happens next.
A: We get it too. In fact, our expenses went up considerably this year, but we decided not to raise the price. There is a chance the cost will be higher next year, so this is the best time to attend.

We don’t want you to take food off the table or spend what isn’t available. But we also know that the best thing each of us can do is invest in ourselves, our joy, and our growth as an artist. And the better we get, the more chances we have of selling better paintings. In reality, depending on the price at which you might sell your work, you can get this event for less than what you would sell one painting for. And since the cost might go up next year, and because we don’t know what lies ahead, this is probably the best possible time to invest in yourself while you have the ability to do so.

Q: Last year we were still in quarantine. I don’t have as much time now.

A: We all face this issue. We’re busier, and life is back to normal. But remember the benefits of the pandemic? More time for yourself and the things you want to do, more joy by focusing on what you love. Returning to the rat race is hard, but we need to invest in our joy and our personal growth. And with rumors of more lockdowns, you’ll wish you had learned pastel.

Q: I never got around to watching the replays, and now that they have expired, I’m not sure I’ll watch this event.

A: Don’t come if you won’t watch. But if you want to grow, to bring yourself to a higher level of ability and confidence, this is important to attend.

Q: I can’t attend because we have plans during the dates. 

A: Good news: Every registration level includes replays with it. You can choose short-term replays so you can watch right after the event to see what you missed, or you can get up to a year of replays.

Q Three or four days is a giant commitment … I’m busier now with work, kids or grandkids, etc.
A: Are you worth the investment in time if it eliminates your frustration and makes you a better painter, or if it teaches you something new? You’ll feel better about yourself. If you can’t watch live because of work or other responsibilities, there are replays. Or you can watch some live, and watch the rest in replays. 

How much time do you spend in a month on social media or watching TV? What if that time was devoted to watching live instruction or replays so you can experience growth?

Q: School has started, and I’ll be teaching at the time.

A: We love teachers. And we have lots of teachers who attend and watch when they can, and then watch replays. Check with your school — they might pay for it, and if not, it’s a deductible professional expense if you’re an art teacher or a professional artist (double-check with your accountant). In the past several art teachers played the event for their art classes all week. It was less preparation for the teachers, let them watch it too, and they could lead a discussion with the class after. Plus, kids need to be exposed to professionals and learn from the best.

Q: I can’t afford it.

A: That might be true. Or maybe you’re choosing not to afford it? Can you afford to make your paintings better? Can you afford to sell more paintings if they are better? Can you put a price on increased confidence? Is it worth giving up Starbucks every day for a while? How would your life be better if you got better as an artist? This isn’t like spending money to watch movies on Amazon Prime, it’s an investment in your career.

Q: I attended last year and decided not to attend this year. There is only so much info I can take in.

A: You obviously have a passion. If you didn’t sign up this year, we’ve found only three primary reasons people don’t come back. 1) They hated it; 2) they didn’t get enough out of it; or 3) they feel like they’ve reached their maximum input level for the time being. Sounds like it was No. 3. Just know that a year has passed, you’ve had a lot of time to process what you saw, and chances are what you see this year will come together with more clarity. Our brains can take in more than we understand. You will get value, and if you don’t, I’ll give your money back. 

Today I’m not on the back porch of my property in the deep Texas heat, nor am I on the dock in the Adirondacks experiencing the call of loons and the cool air. Instead I’m sitting in a slightly cramped airline seat, high above the clouds, en route to the closest airport to home.

Wings Spread

I’m not only physically above the clouds, I’m mentally above the clouds — yet drained, exhausted, and spent from the effort to create this high-level accomplishment. This, it turns out, has been one of the toughest, most challenging weeks of my life. And though it was not fighting off some disease or horrific trauma, which is about as tough as it gets, it was a high-level game of stress chess.

Private

My goal is to be as transparent with you as possible. I’ve shared some things others would never share. But in this case, I need to protect the privacy of those involved, so I can’t tell you what happened. But I’ll tell you the story around it.

Emergency!

As I was quietly sitting on the porch, painting a watercolor, my wife burst in, frantic with news she had just learned about a family member. “You need to drop everything and get on an airplane now!” 

Though she was right, and I eventually came to the same conclusion, I needed to process it first. (Her processor is state of the art, mine takes a little longer.)

A Big Effort

It was 8 o’clock in the evening and there were no flights to be found, but a quick search had me on a flight out first thing the next morning. So I took the boat across the lake, drove to the ferry, took the ferry across Lake Champlain, and drove to Burlington, Vermont, to catch a flight. That was the easy part.

The hard part was some tough love, which involved about five days of mental and emotional wrangling.

Though I never want to leave the lake in the summer, this took priority. It was true “adulting.” And after three days of emotional discussions, I was spent, exhausted, and discouraged.

We Are Behind You

A couple of close friends knew what was going on and kept sending encouraging texts saying, “We’ve got your back.” No advice, just, “We’re praying for you.” My wife was incredibly encouraging, but also let me know that I needed to win this battle between good and evil and that she was counting on me.

Giving Up

Sitting on the couch after a tough day, I was ready to give up and go home. I was getting nowhere. I remember thinking that I can run a big company with lots of employees, I can negotiate major deals with top companies, I can speak comfortably on a stage in front of thousands, yet I was failing at this effort. “I’m done. Time to let the chips fall and move on. I tried my best and it’s not helping.” So I gave up.

Keep in mind I’m praying feverishly for guidance, for help, for positive results. And others were praying. Nothing was working.

A New Perspective

Then something happened. I asked myself, “What would I want if I were on the other side of this battle?” Then it hit me. I’d want me to never give up no matter what, no matter how long it took, no matter what sacrifice was required. I suddenly realized it: Instead of giving up, I needed to envision no other option than a positive outcome. I was ready to give up my summer to solve this problem. Game on.

Once I developed a different attitude, determined to win, it changed my thinking, my actions, and my approach. And it changed the outcome.

Big Change

On the fifth day, I saw a glimmer of hope, and by the sixth day, I had accomplished my goal and solved the problem. All the tough discussions, heated emotional moments, doubts, defeat, and tears became worth it.

Prevailed!

Today, I’m on a high, on a cloud, knowing we’ve achieved the best possible outcome, something we never thought would happen. Yesterday will go down in my history as one of my most difficult on this earth so far. But I prevailed and won a major battle of good versus evil.

Why am I sharing this personal story? I learned too much to not share it.

1. It would have been easy to live on hope and not step up and do something that I did not want to do emotionally or physically. I did not want the inconvenience. But I knew I had to step up because it was not about me and my comfort.
2. I went into this effort believing I had about a 10 percent chance of accomplishing my goal. I knew I was up against one of the smartest, most clever people I know, and that I was truly stepping into a battle of good versus evil. I could not have done it alone. The power of prayer from others and myself made a massive difference. I could see the moment when everything changed, and it was not about what I had done, it was truly an intervention from God. 
3. Things did not go well until I changed my attitude and knew I had to win, and I was going to win, no matter what. Once I decided I’d do what it takes, not ever give up, and fight the biggest fight of my life, I knew I would win. It may have taken all summer, or all year, but the determination to get a positive outcome and unwillingness to give up changed everything.
4. We can’t do things alone. A couple of good friends stepped up, kept sending me encouraging texts, told me they were praying, and shared their own stories of similar battles.
5. Support from my wife and family meant the world to me. Their encouragement drove me.

You and I will have other battles of good versus evil. We can’t ever let evil win. 

You can do this. Whatever you are facing, no matter how difficult it feels, how impossible it is to accomplish, you will turn it around the moment you tell yourself that you will win, no matter what it takes. Doing that is a game-changer.

Churchill said, “Never give up — never, never, never.” He was right. Had he not prevailed, the world would be a very different place. 

You’ve Got This

Whatever you believe in, if something is critically important to you, you need to make up your mind to win at all costs and never give up. Sometimes things happen fast, sometimes slowly. I saw this in my dad, with a company he had started with a new technology. It took 20 years, but he never gave up.

I can now see things I’ve committed to where I allowed the pandemic to slow me down and almost gave up. I now know that I need to rethink, recommit, and do what it takes (ethically, of course) to set my sights on success and remove all doubt. Once the doubt is gone, the roadblocks no longer look insurmountable.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Please don’t ask. I appreciate your respecting our privacy.

Determination matters. I wanted to launch an online pastel conference and pastel newsletter, but others kept putting up roadblocks to protect their own turf. It crossed my mind to give up, but my readers told me they wanted it, and I was determined to give them what they want because it would result in massive growth and interest in pastel painting. We got the conference launched successfully, and we recently launched Pastel Today (you can subscribe at pasteltoday.com for free).

Our second online pastel conference will be even better than the first. We were worried that people wouldn’t return once the pandemic was over, but the opposite has been true. We’ve had a massive number of people sign up for three days of top instructors who will transform their painting skills (and a fourth Beginner’s Day for those who want to learn pastel). You can sign up or learn more at pastellive.com.

We tell ourselves stories, then we start making them happen. I told myself a story that attendance might be reduced after the pandemic, so I was not trying as hard — until I learned my story was wrong. I told myself a story that people might not attend in August because of travel and vacation time, but I discovered that was not true. Those who do have travel plans are registering and plan to watch the replays. Others plan to attend to be part of the community.

I also discovered something else. Most of the top-tier artists I know strive to be complete, meaning that they want to master every possible means of communication in art. They want to be great at drawing, and at painting in oil, acrylic, watercolor, and pastel, because each informs the others and gives them ways to communicate that other mediums can’t offer. For instance, if I want a certain look or vibrancy in color, pastel is my only option. I’ll be hosting Pastel Live and hope you’ll join me. But know that the price has to go up very soon, and this is the time to capture the lower price. (Even though people tell me it would be worth attending at five times the price.)

This week I received one of those calls you don’t want to get. An old friend was in ICU on life support, and the family was told to start deciding if they want to pull the plug or, if she comes out of her coma, to be ready to place her in a facility for regular treatments and tube feeding for the rest of her life. 

You Next?

When asked, “What would you want?” it got me thinking. Would I want someone pulling the plug if I had a chance of coming out of it? What if I came out of it and had to spend my life on a feeding tube and other treatments? What would I do?

I hope I never have to face such decisions with my family and I hope they don’t have to face them with me, but I also know it’s best to have an answer, and a living will, in advance so others are not burdened. 

More to Offer?

And I started thinking about my friend who, in her late 60s, is mentally alert, sharp, highly intelligent, and has a lot to offer the world. Would she want a chance to do more? Maybe she would be in a facility and not terribly mobile, but what if she could write a life-changing book? What if she could use her brain in other ways, though her body is shutting down? Or what if she could defy the odds and find a way to get her body back to a better state? Though unlikely, we’ve all seen miracles happen.

Then I think of another friend who was in that exact situation: mentally alert but completely unable to function otherwise. He called me one day and said, “Get me out of here. I can’t stand living in a nursing home.” But there was no way to accommodate him. He died of a broken spirit, not even 55.

Moments like these bring more questions than answers, but also temporary moments of clarity. What if it were me? What would I want to have accomplished before that time comes? 

Wasted Days

I get terribly frustrated when I see friends who have lots of life left but who seem to be throwing it away, not making any meaningful contribution to the world. Not living a large life. Spending all their time on video games or television when they could be doing so much more. I wonder if they will look back and wish they had not thrown away their time on meaningless pursuits and substances — or maybe that’s the best it will ever be. Plus, who am I to judge? What’s for me  isn’t necessarily for them.

If Your Lungs Work…

If you’re breathing, there are still contributions you can make. They might be major earth-changing ideas or simply offering lots of love to a child who will make great things happen because of your encouragement. 

Life is fleeting. Moments like what my friend is experiencing really make me take notice. I like to think it’s best to be intentional about our life and the experiences we want to create. That means being deliberate, often creating a plan and following it. Some lives are filled with accidental magic, but what if you could create more magic, and more experiences and memories?

Eric Rhoads

PS: My friend has improved, but is likely to need around-the-clock care going forward. 

This is a reminder to me that I want to live life to the fullest. Sometimes I avoid things because I tell myself I’m too busy or don’t want to spend the money, but I usually regret it. I’m going to seize every possible opportunity to create memories, travel, make memories for my family, and do the things I love to do. My friend was fine one day, then BOOM, she wasn’t. It could happen to any of us. Let’s not get complacent when it comes to living a rich, full life. Live for experiences! Live large!

Hard to believe it’s about to be July 4th. Have a wonderful celebration of this great country. It’s imperfect, but it’s still an amazing place. Enjoy the celebration.

Last week my son returned from a mission trip where he helped Ukraine refugees and others in Slovakia. We’re glad he is home but very proud of him. I’m only wishing the entire family were together. I’ll work on that so I can create some lake memories. 

This week I also held a free webinar about pastel painting with the editor of Pastel Today, Gail Sibley. If you want to see it, you can view it here. 

Our next big event will be our international online conference for pastel painters (Pastel Live!). I’m already getting excited about it. I hope you can join me and artists all over the world.

Last week I announced that we are cutting off registration for our New Zealand painting trip, but in reality, it’s just because we’re almost sold out and because we want to have time to get the travel plans done before prices go up. But if you really want to go, we can squeeze you in. Just go to www.paintingnewzealand.com

Two large loons are swimming at the edge of the dock. Their cry echoes across the lake, bouncing off the distant shore, where the deep green pine trees are softly covered with morning fog, making them a pale bluish-gray color. A hawk flies overhead, and it’s so quiet you can hear the whoosh of her wings and her loud call as well. Not to be diminished, a tiny dock spider spins its web across the seat of the Adirondack chair next to me. 

Though the birds, the streaks of sunlight, the beautiful views may not be there for my pleasure, they bring pleasure just the same. I can choose to ignore them or to embrace their beauty. 

Type A

For decades I’ve been a hard-charging, “Type A” personality, working endlessly to help others find what I have to offer, and often chasing shiny objects, often in pursuit of the things the media tells us will create happiness.

Five Hot Cars

Looking back, I can recall gurus standing in front of their five-car garages, each door open with an expensive car in every slot. They would stand beside their jets and tell us that this can happen to us, too. And I bought into much of it, often buying a course to refine my skills.

Looking at the Mirror

I too wanted the trappings of success. I even created cutouts of the things I wanted and plastered them on my mirror, looking at them daily. And remarkably, most of those dreams came true. One expert told us to go to the car dealer, pick out the car we wanted and get a picture sitting in the driver’s seat, then paste the picture up on the bathroom mirror. Instead, I took an ad from a magazine and glued my photo onto the car in the ad. Every day, I told myself, if I sell this radio station one day, and if I make at least a million dollars, the first thing I’ll do is to go out and buy that Porsche 911.

A Dream Realized

When that day came, I went to the local Porsche dealer and could not believe how expensive the car was. Not wanting to blow through all my money, I began the search for a used one, eventually finding the exact car of my dreams at a fraction of the price. To this day I can remember the feeling of hitting a goal, the feeling of accomplishment for working so hard, yet being proud that I was practical by not buying a new car and losing 20 percent in depreciation. 

After a few weeks, my Porsche was just transportation, and I soon found I had my eye on the next cool car, the new BMW 7 series sedan. Soon, I had that car too. And before long, it too was just transportation. 

Excess

I used to drive through Palm Beach and see the mega mansions and tell myself, “Someday I’ll own one of those.” I’d see the excessive display of wealth, the spending, the cars, yachts, jets, jewels, and clothes, and I found myself wanting more and more. But I could not keep up. As my dad used to say, “Son, someone’s always got a bigger boat.”

A New Focus

Then one day Laurie announced that she was pregnant with triplets. I was suddenly the happiest I can remember being. My focus changed from being a hotshot to being a practical dad with looming college bills (for triplets). So we sold the nice cars and bought two simple Hondas. That was 20 years ago, and I still have one of them. 

My self-image had been tied to what the media said was success, but I realized that it was an empty vessel.

You Are What You Think

I’m a big believer in positive thinking and manifesting things (along with a plan and the associated work), and though I feel fortunate to have experienced hot cars, and even life on private jets, I’ve thankfully discovered that’s not where my happiness lies. King Solomon even talked about it — as the richest man in the world, he was never satisfied. 

Back to the Birds

That brings me back to the birds on the dock and the importance of knowing what truly makes you happy. For me, it’s about the beauty of nature, about deeply enjoying the people I love, and deepening relationships with others. 

Things happen for a purpose. Had I not experienced the chase and not experienced the things I thought would make me happy, I might still be chasing them. I’m thankful that I eventually arrived where I am.

Service to Others

I’m no longer a hard-driving Type A. Though I work hard, it’s because I love what I do, and my goal is to be of service to others, to help them live their dreams, to be their servant. Since I started with that attitude, my happiness level has soared. It has taken me decades to discover that happiness is found in service to others. 

Where does your happiness lie? I’d love to know what you’ve discovered.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Recently when cleaning my garage, I threw out things that I had craved to own. Mostly cool electronic gadgets, cameras, computers, speakers, etc. I can remember wanting these things, saving the money to get them, only to discard them for the next big thing. There is no better exercise than throwing out the things you once thought were important. Now, before I buy anything, I question my purchase. Do I need it? Will I be throwing it out in three years? 

My joy isn’t dependent on anyone else, but I gain great joy from other people, which is why tears were shed when we said goodbye at my Adirondack artist retreat with about 100 friends and new friends that ended a week ago yesterday. Every time I tell myself I’m only going to do it one last time, but I get such joy from the people that I can’t wait to do it again.

My next artist retreat, Fall Color Week, is coming up in October. I can hardly wait. It’s already sold out (there is a waiting list), so others must also see the joy.

I do have some space on my lifetime bucket list painters’ trip to New Zealand, though not much. That’s happening in September, so it’s already time to book flights. If you are on the fence, it’s best to decide now. 

In case you missed it, we have a brand new newsletter called Pastel Today. The editor, Gail Sibley, has been at the International Association of Pastel Societies (IAPS) conference this week in Albuquerque (it’s a great organization and event). If you want the free newsletter, join us at PastelToday.com. And if you really want to grow as a pastel artist or learn about it, we have Pastel Live online, coming up in August. It’s a three-day event with the top pastel artists on earth, plus an optional Beginner’s Day.

A bright pink salmon-colored sky is glowing, with the black lace of pine trees silhouetted against its brilliant color. The lake is mirroring the sky, not a ripple in sight. The silence is beyond any level of quiet I’ve ever experienced. This is the true definition of peaceful.

In the late 1800s, the Hudson River School painters were criticized for their brilliant sunrise and sunset paintings because the coal-smoke-filled skies of New York made such skies unbelievable. Yet, as I sit here on the dock of my Adirondack home, I’m a witness to confirm such brilliance exists here in this 6-million-acre protected park. The air is so pure I find myself taking deep breaths more frequently.

A Boat Ride Away

Just minutes from now, after coffee on the dock, I’ll put on my jacket and put the first ripples on the glass-like lake as I make my way across to a small, winding river through the weeds and woods to the next lake over, where I’ll pull up to the dock at Paul Smith’s College. That’s where I’m hosting my 11th annual artist retreat I call the Publisher’s Invitational. I’m hosting about 100 plein air painters, who will paint the incredible scenery here for a week.

No More Invitation Required

I started this event after some painters told me they rarely get a chance to simply paint side by side because most events involve a sale and competition. My event used to be invitation-only till the demand to attend made it clear invitations would no longer need to be issued. Now anyone who wants to come can come. (Quietly, I do an actual “invitational” with a small group of high-level painters at a different time in the summer.)

At the beginning of the year, when I was rethinking my priorities, I came to some conclusions about my personal operating system. My priorities have changed since I’ve seen so many good people disappear in the last couple of years. Because I get lots of questions about how I have such energy and how I manage to accomplish so much, I thought I’d share this.

1. 1. Spiritual health
      
      If my walk with God isn’t strong, then everything else is out of balance. I make a point to read my Bible every morning before I open any email or social media. I spend time in prayer many times daily. It’s not about earning favor (which isn’t possible), it’s about praise and thanksgiving.
      
      
   2. Health trumps everything
      
      My goal is to optimize health, keep my immune system strong, maintain high standards of mobility, and keep my energy high. This includes walking fast, interval and weight training most days, supplemented by daily walks (up here the woods make for amazing walks). I study nutritional and longevity trends, take lots of the latest supplements (including NMN, which is revolutionary), and I get my blood tested at least four times a year. I maintain a mostly vegan diet along with some fish, and I try to live as stress-free as possible.
      
      
   3. Mindset makes a huge difference
      
      Friends my age and younger are winding down. I’m winding up. I’m just getting good at the things that have taken me a lifetime to learn, I don’t want to stop now. I want to see what’s possible. My friend John Kluge, who became the richest man in the world, told me, “I did not really figure things out till I was 65 or 70. When my friends were retiring, I was just getting started. Keep pitching. Never stop pitching.” I carefully guard my self-talk, and I realize that I have more to give, so I don’t ever want to tell myself there are limitations or restrictions.
      
      
   4. Family and friends matter most
      
      I take more time for my family than ever, realizing that my kids are growing up and leaving home. I have lessons I need to teach them, and they have lessons to teach me. I’m trying to invest in my family more deeply and let them know they are loved.
      I’m also investing more time in friendships. I’ve had too many recent instances where my last phone call or visit with someone was the last time I’d ever be able to visit with them.
      
      
   5. Help others
      
      What can I do to make life better for others? What kinds of experiences can I give them that may become lifetime memories? How can I use what I’ve learned and earned to help others? How can I coach others? How can I help others live a better life?
      
      
   6. Live for experiences and play 

      Life boils down to special moments and memories, most of which are created. My goal is to live as richly as possible by creating experiences and moments for my family, myself, and others. I want to travel more and take others along on the experiences. I want to play more, spend more time on the things I love, and experiment more with new things (for instance, I’m teaching myself 3D design and printing, I’m learning other mediums like pastel, watercolor, and gouache, and I’ve been doing woodworking, building my own new easel design). 

   7. Challenge myself

   
   Unchallenged people become dull and lifeless. I want to be curious, set no limits on what is possible, and push myself to accomplish great things. It’s not about money (though that’s often a measurement device), it’s about doing what cannot be done, inventing what can’t be invented, creating what can’t be created. 

    

   8. Be a nice guy no matter what

    I self-identify as a nice guy. My goal is to listen better, get to know others at a deeper level, be truly interested, and to be a nice guy. I can’t say I’ve always lived up to this, but I’m trying harder than ever. I want to be nice under pressure. I want to be the person I’d want to meet, someone who cares deeply about others and their stories.
    

   9. Life is about learning
      
      I’m eager to learn. I want to be better at the things I know, I want to learn about things I don’t know, and I want to discover things from others that can make me a better and more interesting person. I try to read daily, I take courses online (I just got certified in NLP, for instance, and I’ve been learning self-hypnosis), and I’m seeking things outside my lane to keep my life interesting.
      
      
   10. Finish well
       
       My dad finished well. He lived to 92 and died in his own home, and had a lot of people who loved him for who he was, not what he had. His life, family, friendships, interests, and relationship with God were rich up until the end. Upon his passing I heard stories from others of his friendships, where he went out of his way to make others feel special, to help others in need. He never talked about it. I don’t like to talk about what or where I give, who I help, or everything I’m up to. Some things are best executed silently.

Have you ever created your own personal operating system?

Don’t copy mine, come up with your own. Chances are you have it in your head. Put it in writing — it provides clarity and acts as a reminder that life is far from over.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Today is our first day of painting at my event. I’m excited to paint with everyone and start catching up or getting to know them.

Speaking of experiences, I’ve just made our reservations to fly to New Zealand. I’m taking 50 to paint and tour, and I think we’ve got a few seats left, though if you want to go, we need you to book soon so you can book your flights. You can learn more at www.paintingnewzealand.com.

My next artist retreat is in October in Maine, and it’s almost already sold out. I think there are a handful of seats left (we have limits on how many rooms we can get). www.fallcolorweek.com

PS2: Love pastel? Last August when I held Pastel Live online, I got inspired and started painting in pastel. I picked up lots of ideas from top artists at that event and I’m loving the qualities I can get from pastel that I can’t get from other mediums, including high, vibrating color. I’m very excited and committed to pastel and am pleased to announce that we just launched a new, three-times-a-week pastel newsletter with Editor Gail Sibley. You can get it free by going to https://pasteltoday.com/newsletter/. Check it out.

Massive winds bend the thick trunks of scrub oak trees until it seems the roots will soon rip out of the ground. Birds fly against the wind, working extra hard to move from branch to branch, and the heat would be overbearing if not for the winds.

I love nature, I love lightning, thunder and storms, even high winds … up to a point, until it becomes unsafe. In fact, I once rode out a hurricane in my car, stuck bumper-to-bumper in Central Florida as me and millions of others were trying to escape to safety up North. No cars flipped, but they were all rocking back and forth, bounding on their tires. It was more intense than any Six Flags ride and lasted for a few hours. Other than cowering in a basement corner waiting for an oncoming tornado, I think that is the most frightened I’ve ever been.

The Struggle

Looking back on childhood, I’m grateful for experiences that made my brothers and I stronger. I’m grateful my parents let us struggle and did not solve every problem for us.

As a parent, my temptation has been to tell my kids what to do at every turn, trying to keep them from pain. But pain is healthy, and we should save our controlling nature for those times when their lives or safety are actually at risk. Otherwise, skinned knees and wounded hearts are part of growing up. 

Our job as parents isn’t to clear the path for our kids but to get the kids ready for the path. Letting go is probably more important than control.

Go Ahead and Sleep Late

I want my kids to learn to be independent. For instance, one of my sons has a full-time job, and, like many, has not learned to manage his time. Plus he loves to stay up late, sometimes till the wee hours. Knowing he has to be at work at 6 a.m., I could call him and suggest he come home. And in the morning, I could go upstairs and wake him. But unless he experiences the pain of an unhappy boss because he is late or misses work, he won’t learn. So, in spite of my temptation to help make things smoother, I let him fail.

Do Your Own Laundry!

When I was a kid, my mom did our laundry and cooked our food, but she made me cook every week or two, choosing the menu for the family. We had lots of fried bologna and mashed potatoes. But at least I could survive if I had to (which came in handy once I left home.)

Laurie made our kids start doing their own laundry at about 7 years old. My daughter told me many kids come to college having never done their own laundry. She’s been doing it for more than half her life.

My natural instinct is to answer questions, step in and control situations, and blather on about lessons that need to be learned. But I have to fight my instincts.

What about you?

How were you raised?

Did your parents allow you to make mistakes, or did they control every outcome?

When my boys were in Cub Scouts I read a book called The Dangerous Book for Boys, which emphasized the importance of danger and adventure. Too many of us won’t let kids climb trees because we fear broken arms, but the book says that we need a sense of danger, we need to do things to help us build our confidence. (My daughter was as much about danger as my boys.) So while other moms and dads were preventing danger at the park, I was encouraging it. Though it was against my instinct, it’s important.

We’re not perfect. We paved too many paths and spoiled our kids in some ways. Thankfully, we didn’t try to control every moment. As a result we have confident, independent kids (sometimes too independent).

Are you paving a path or letting them make their own path?

The most important lesson for me as a parent is to let go. 

Step in only when it’s a matter of life or death. If they screw up and get arrested, I won’t bail them out. They need to learn. If we solve every problem, they’ll be looking to our solutions into adulthood.

Eric Rhoads

PS: Winds are pushing wildfires in New Mexico, which has discouraged a few people from attending our Plein Air Convention, which starts on Tuesday the 17th. Thankfully, I’m told that things are fairly clear in Santa Fe and our group is in no danger. If we do get an especially smoky day, we’ll simply paint together inside if we can’t go outside (unlikely). I’m bringing my entire family (triplets and their mom) to the convention this week to work. I hope you’ll come, or at least watch online.

This September it will be springtime in New Zealand (sounds like the name of a movie). I’m taking a group of 50 to the most amazing scenery on earth for painting. (Some come and don’t paint, they just tour or take photos.) I have a few seats left. www.paintingnewzealand.com

This June I’ll be painting with about a hundred friends at my 11th Publisher’s Invitational artists’ retreat in the Adirondacks. We’re going to some of the EXACT spots painted by the Hudson River School painters. In fact, we’re staying and painting in the exact location frequented by Winslow Homer. One price includes room and meals (yep, a week where you don’t have to cook or clean!!). www.paintadirondacks.com

The sun is streaming painfully into my eyes. It’s bright and brilliant orange, kissing tree limbs and the tops of grasses as it makes its way to me. I tip my new 10-gallon straw cowboy hat down over my eyes to find shade.

This morning’s heat is intense. Today will be a candle-melter, and not good for the chocolate bar tucked between the seats in my car. I may come back to a bowl of soup.

Walking on the deck in my pointy-toed boots, I hear the sound of cowboys about to go head-to-head in a quick draw. The only things missing are spurs and a six-shooter. I’m not normally a cowboy kind of guy, but I love watching it on Yellowstone. It makes me want to pretend.

Finding the Impossible

In 1980, two days before my first wedding, which was to occur in my parents’ backyard on a lake, I decided it would be cool to surprise the bride with a ride down the aisle in a horse and buggy. “But where can I possibly find a horse and buggy?” I wondered. Nothing was in the phone book, and the Internet did not exist. So I started thinking about where there might be an abundance of buggies. I got in the car, drove out to Amish country, and started looking for farms with buggies. I’d stop, knock on the door, and tell them what I was looking for. Though people were friendly every time, these were tools they needed for their farms or to conduct their lives. And the more doors that shut, the more determined I was to find a horse and buggy. I had set my mind on it, and I was not going to stop looking. 

Down the Road

The next stop, a nice farmer told me that a cousin down the road had just taken delivery on a new buggy that had never been used. Soon I showed up at his door and explained my desire to make the wedding special. I told him I wanted to decorate the buggy with flowers and bring my bride down the aisle with her father. I offered to pay him, though I did not have much money to offer. He started thinking, and I felt a rejection coming, but instead he said, “I have a friend with a truck. I’ll deliver the truck with the buggy and my finest Tennessee Walker to you two hours before the wedding on Saturday. The only payment I want is a photo of the bride in the buggy.” We shook on it. 

A Liquid Chuckle

No one knew about this surprise, so we unloaded the horse and buggy, I decorated it with flowers, and right before going down the aisle, it was sprung on my wife-to-be. Soon, as I was standing at the front, “Here Comes the Bride” was played on an accordion. Next, the carriage with the bride slowly trotted to the side of the crowd, who gasped in awe. She walked up, and we were married by a minister who was an old family friend. After the ceremony, we sawed a log together, an old German tradition to signify working on life’s struggles together. One of the most memorable moments was when the horse took a leak in the middle of the ceremony. Everyone chuckled.

I can remember that day in great detail. 

Dueling ’Vettes

Just this past week, two friends of mine flew from their home in California to Bowling Green, Kentucky, where they picked up two amazing new Corvettes. They then drove them across the country side by side, stopping at all the fun tourist attractions along the way. Not only was it a lifetime dream to own a couple of cool cars like that, they ended up making a memory that they say is one of their best lifetime memories ever. They could have easily bought the cars at a local dealer, but instead they built a memory.

Though memories are often accidental, life is about orchestrating memories. Where would we be without family vacations, celebrations, and special moments?

Thumbs Up

My dad taught me about memory-making by example. My head is filled with childhood memories of camping in our Airstream; getting stranded on a narrow mountain pass to Vail, Colorado, and hitchhiking into town; and having the convertible top slashed and all of our things stolen. We camped along Lake Erie across from Cedar Point, we boated and skied, we learned to sail, we even did Power Squadron courses in severe weather, and we often went to the amusement park. But memories did not stop there.

Sitting in a Circle

Many years later Dad built a tepee on his property, and we would have dessert there when guests were in town visiting the Adirondacks. We would sing around the campfire, bang drums, and tell ghost stories. That tradition will continue now that Dad is gone.

Ring the Breakfast Triangle

My father also built a tiny cabin with a wood stove and nothing inside but a table and chairs. It was called the Trapper Cabin, was decorated with antiques and old animal skins, and the first or last morning when visiting his house (called a camp), he would put on his chef’s hat and cook eggs, bacon, and pancakes for visiting guests. It was a tradition that lasted 30 years and made lots of memories.

Traditions and memory-making are hard work. Looking back, I realize just how hard my parents worked to create memories for us. It was worth it. So many people don’t have a lot of memories.

The Most Important Yet

Consider that this may be the most special summer ever. Many of us have been distanced from our families, unable to travel, and now that we are free and can see them, it’s a time to make special memories. Especially knowing things could change without notice and we might not have a chance to make more memories.

What memories will you make for yourself and your family this spring and summer?
Where can you go? 

What can you do?
What new traditions can you create?

It’s worth the effort. When everything else is gone, our memories last forever. 

Eric Rhoads

PS: Last weekend I made memories with a dozen or so painters, painting together in Utopia, Texas. We painted on private farms and saw some stunning scenery! Thanks to Guy Morrow for organizing it. We’re keeping you in our prayers.

Some of my best memories have taken place at the painters’ events I’ve created. I’ve made hundreds of friends and a handful of best friends at events like the Plein Air Convention, which is a gathering of hundreds of artists who come to learn, paint together in a beautiful spot, and play (May 17-21 in Santa Fe). I have memories of painting in amazing places with them, and memories of silly stage moments like Plein Air Wars, the game show we’re doing on stage this year. We still have seats (highly unusual because normal years were sold out at this point), and for this year, we are providing an opportunity for online attendance since some cannot make it to Santa Fe. www.pleinairconvention.com

When I was in my early 30s I went to the Adirondacks for the first time. The area became my photography muse, and later my muse for painting. Its beauty is unique, unlike any other place in America. There are 6 million protected acres of stunning scenery. I’ll be making memories and friendships there in June when I hold my annual spring artist retreat. There are no lessons, just painting and play with old and new friends all day for a week. We have lots of fun, and at this point we have a handful of seats left. It’s all-inclusive, one price for lodging, meals, and the event. www.paintadirondacks.com

Memories will also occur painting in New Zealand this September. I have a few seats left. www.paintingnewzealand.com